said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went “ok why do you think that is?” and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went “ok so maybe you aren’t good at friendship” and i. have never regretted spending £50 more in my life lol

Robert Meyer Burnett reviews an early draft of Star Wars' 9th episode entitled DUEL OF THE FATES

Title is DUEL OF THE FATES

CRAWL:

The iron grip of the FIRST ORDER has spread to the farthest reaches of the galaxy. Only a few scattered planets remain unoccupied. Traitorous acts are punishable by death.

Determined to suffocate a growing unrest, Supreme Leader KYLO REN has silenced all communication between neighboring systems.

Led by GENERAL LEIA ORGANA, the Resistance has planned a secret mission to prevent their annihilation and forge a path to freedom...

Opens at the Kuat Shipyards (man on a mission-style)

BB-8 and Rose Tico (allegedly a key character in script) are infiltrating Kuat Moon where First Order build their ships (workers are oppressed). There is an orbital ring and moon below it.  Finn and Poe are there. No R2/3PO. Rey arrives.

The plan: Send explosive into the power shaft that delivers raw ore into the ring.

Plan goes wrong. (RBM loves dialogue at this moment.) First Order is able to contain blast. Admiral Vaughn says Resistance tactics are "pitful."

Rey disguised as a Tusken Raider is revealed to have created her own weapon (a double-blade lightsaber hybrid  of her staff and Luke's cracked saber).

They battle and Poe, Finn, Rose, Rey, and BB-8 STEAL A STAR DESTROYER (Eclipse-class) and escape.

The Knife 9 a ship containing the Knights of Ren arrives a Kuat. Ataska (?) Ren kills Admiral Vaughn for his failure.

CUT TO: CORUSCANT. No longer a vibrant city. "The new structures are built atop the art deco structure of the old republic." Occupied by the First Order now (they have a citadel/palace there). Citizens are scavengers now. Hux is now CHANCELLOR HUX and is addressing Bisc Kova (traitor who helped Resist. steal Star Destroyer.) Kova is executed with a light blade guillotine.

Hux and Commander Selleck have a meeting with several alien war lords (ode to ANH imperial council scene). First Order has allies. They are aware of Rey being the last Jedi. Council wants to know WHERE IS KYLO REN? He is missing. Hux only knows he has gone searching for something of great power.

CUT TO: MUSTAFAR. Kylo Ren is alone, except for a Darth Maul-esque droid. He has stubble indicating search has been for a long time. Ren is being HAUNTED by Luke's force ghost.

Luke: "This is where the dark path leads; an empty tomb." Kylo (retort): "Where did your path lead?"

Luke is trying to convince him to go back to Leia. Kylo: "I'm going to be more powerful than any Jedi...even you."

In Vader's Temple, Kylo finds a Sith Holocron which reveals a hologram of Palpatine. Recording is for Vader. Palpatine has a contingency for Vader if Luke kills him. Vader is to take Luke to the Remnicore (?) System to see TOR VALUM, Master of Sith/Palpatine's Teacher.

After scanning Kylo, the Holocron explodes and releases red lighting which burns Kylo, who screams.

CUT TO: RESISTANCE BASE on KOR-ALAF (?). Leia is introduced as she feels what's happening to Ben. Chewbacca and Lt. Connix tell Leia that the Kuat team is back. They're shocked to see a Star Destroyer (which is landed onto the planet). Funny moment w/ Rey using Mind Trick on First Order officers who were still on the ship.

Rey confides in Finn that she doesn't feel like she has what it takes to be a Jedi and can't live up to everyone's expectations. Finn asks her if she still senses Kylo. Rey confesses she's been having nightmares. Finn asks if it's Kylo. Rey says she can't explain their connection.

Finn: "You have to shut him out. He can't change. It's too late." Rey: "It's never to late to change. You taught me that Finn."

Resistance realizes that the Star Destroyer stills has most of it's weapons (tanks, TIEs, etc). Only missing piece is an army to use it.

Rey researching the Jedi texts from Anch-To discovers that under Coruscant Jedi Temple there is a communication system (called a FORCE BEACON) from the Old Republic that can send a signal to 50 planets. They plan on using it to get allies. First Order can't stop it, since it predates Imperial tech. Rey: "Hope is all we have left."

Force Ghost Luke appears as Rey trains. Luke is pushing Rey to get stronger in the Force, while he is pushing Kylo to let Ben out.

Kylo makes it back to Coruscant. Face is damaged. Mandalorian armor is smelted and is been applied to his face. Confronts Hux and belittles him, saying he doesn't need titles.

Rey to Luke as they train: "Balance? The dark suffocates the light, light extinguishes the dark. Over and over and over again. How is that balance in the force?"

Luke: "I know that anger. My father had it too.'

Rey: "So says my master and his master before him. A thousand masters so eager to tell us how to live."

Rest of exchange between Rey and Luke is basically Rey trying to back away from being a Jedi (she admits she is NO ONE) and Luke trying to convince her (he says the Force is speaking to her).

Back to Kylo. He and Hux continue to snipe at each other. Kylo says he's leaving again, but not before telling Hux the power he discovered will make destroying planets insignificant. Kylo's last order to Hux: "Find the Resistance, wipe them out, leave the girl to me."

TEAM A (Rose, Finn, R2, 3PO): Going to Coruscant to light the beacon.

TEAM B (Rey, Poe, Chewbacca): Going to a planet to find someone to help Rey figure out what she needs to do. (side: Yes, his descrp. is that vague)

Kylo is going to a Sith Planet/Remnicore. EDIT: Before he leaves Coruscant, he takes Vader's mask and says he understands Vader now. Kylo: "You allowed love to cloud your judgement" and he throws Vader's mask off of a balcony and it shatters.

Leia stays at the base overseeing the Resistance.

Before Rey leaves, she and Leia have an exchange were Rey says she believes there's still good in Kylo. Leia is skeptical, but Rey believes in her Jedi Training. Leia: "You're not like my father or my brother. You're new. Whatever happens, remember the force choose you Rey. You're story isn't written by anyone else."

RMB starts summarizing now:

First Order tracks down stolen Star Destroyer to Kor-Alaf. Resistance escapes.

TEAM A successfully infiltrates the Jedi Temple and turn on the beacon. Cut to different places around the galaxy receiving the signal (Bossk cameo). It is then cut off by the First Order. TEAM A then flee into the underbelly of Coruscant.

TEAM B are being pursued by the Knife 9 (Knights of Ren ship) and eventually reach the planet Bonadan.

Kylo reaches Remincore and confronts Tor Valum (7000 yrs old, alien of unknown origin, spindly, intense sinewy muscle -- very Lovecraftian). Kylo begins training with Valum. Ode to ESB Cave scene: Kylo fights Vader. Fight is brutal and Kylo loses.

Bonadan: Poe takes Rey to a Seer who can pull information out of memories. The Seer pulls a star chart out of Rey's mind from her visions w/ Kylo. Knights of Ren show up and fight Rey in a lightsaber battle. She defeats them and TEAM B escapes.

Both Rey and Kylo eventually get to MORTIS.

Leia asks Lando if he will organize the smugglers and fight the First Order.

Rose is captured and tortured by the First Order, but is able to escape.

Finn/R2/3PO start a citizens uprising on Coruscant around the First Order's Citadel/Palace.

Leia brings her forces to Coruscant to battle the FO. Massive space battle, ground battle (ROTJ-style you know the works lol). Chewie flies an X-Wing.

Rey and Kylo battle on Mortis, using force energy that can pull from each other. At some point is revealed Kylo killed Rey's parents at the behest of Snoke. Towards the end, Luke/Obi Wan/Yoda appear as Force Ghosts to save Ben, but are unsuccessful. Ben is "extinguished."

RMB seems to be at the end, so just for house keeping sake - Resistance won, First Order loses.

One final deet: Han Solo did appear in the script and does confront Kylo at some point.

Towards the end, Luke/Obi Wan/Yoda appear as Force Ghosts to save Ben,

In which I answer many questions about books

I came across this survey from @drawlight and I thought it’d be fun to fill! Fun fact: I’ve been an unabashed devotee of literature and stories all my life and am a stalwart champion of connecting people with stories – I’ve spent most of the last decade attending and volunteering at literature festivals and crossed fingers, am trying to get a job there. I don’t do the tagging thing, but if you’d like to fill this tag me back so I can discover your literary world!

I, like everyone else, am drowning in Good Omens right now, including the script book and original publication, so I’ll omit them from my responses for a bit of variety.

1. What book are you reading now?

Kraken – China Miéville. Yet another book about an impending apocalypse set in London, because I’m a sucker for undercurrents of fantasy in places I’ve walked in. This one’s a dark comedy about a squid-worshiping cult, where the initiating event for The End of the World is a forty-foot giant squid specimen being stolen from the Natural History Museum.

2. What are your favourite books?

I’m a bit of an odd duck in that my favourites change all the time at different points in my life. I hate to do the thing where you divide things up by genre because I think stories are valid in so many shapes and forms but it’s an easy shorthand – a few top favourites:

Literary Fiction: Spill, Simmer, Falter, Wither – Sara Baume (a book about a misfit man who brings a misfit dog into his life. I’ll never get tired of recommending this. The poetic turn of prose in this book is astonishing, and I’m reminded of it every time I read something by Drawlight, actually).

SF/F: Neverwhere – Neil Gaiman (again pushes all my right buttons with undercurrents of another world in places I’ve been) and The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories by Ken Liu – the titular story in this anthology made me cry on the train, in public – you can find it in full here. It’s a quick and heartbreaking read about the tenuous relationship one so often has with their parents.

Short Story: The Great Hargeisa Goat Bubble – Julian Gough (A economic satire and the first fiction piece ever published by the Financial Times, which was subsequently adapted to a Radio Play by the BBC which is also available in the link if you prefer listening. Will make you clutch your sides with laughter, teach you about securitizations, futures and hedge funds and global market forces without the need for you to get a degree in economics first, and ensure you never look at goats the same way again.)

3. How did you learn to read?

Other than the obvious – school, my mother used to take me to the library each weekend when I was a kid and let me borrow 4 books using my library card, and another 4 books with hers. I’d devour all 8 and rinse and repeat the next weekend.

4. What foreign languages do you read?

I studied Chinese as my second language for 12 years and subsequently lost pretty much all of it due to lack of usage after. I can still muddle my way through a menu but that’s about it.

5. What’s the funniest book you ever read?

The Teenage Textbook – Adrian Tan (I’m sure I’ve read plenty since that are better, but this is always the first one I think of. A bit of local nostalgia.)

6. What books have changed the way you look at the world or the way you live your life?

Without a doubt, This Is What Inequality Looks Like by Teo You Yenn. It is a non-fiction book told through the lens of people in poverty, and just as equally, from vantage point of the privileged, us folk who are more or less living in the median of society and the different frames of ‘common sense’ that need to be considered from these perspectives. It is a book about how acknowledging poverty and inequality leads to uncomfortable revelations about our society and ourselves. And it is about how once we see, we cannot, must not, unsee. It is a book that might sober you up for the rest of your life.

It was one of the books heavily drawn on to produce a play titled “Underclass” which I once described to a friend as “the wokest shit sandwich you’ll ever eat”, and I mean this in the best kind of way – it’s the most difficult pill I was ever made to swallow. It left me questioning every assumption I had about poverty, inequality and human dignity, left me squirming and uncomfortable in the way we gloss over the marginalized, and forced me to ask hard questions about the systems of society and who provides for those who fall through the cracks. I saw it a year ago and I still can’t stop thinking about it.  

7. What books have affirmed what you believe about life or the way you look at things?

Not entirely sure how to answer this one, I take away bits from every book and media property I encounter. I suppose if I would recommend anything, especially from the perspective of a writer, that rejection is par for the course so long as you keep forging on, and keep at it, then Stephen King’s On Writing. And on the love for the parts of your life that are odd, glorious and to be cherished, Sue Perkins Spectacles. Her letter to her dog Pickles in the book, available here, is one of the greatest confessions of adoration I’ve ever read, and will speak to every love you’ve held close in your life)

8. What are some of the scariest books you ever read?

To be frank I don’t read much horror, though I used to as a kid. I don’t have enough memory of any specifics to give titles.

9. About how many books do you think you have read in your life?

I’ve not the slightest idea. Probably hundreds.

10. About how many books do you own?

Currently, probably between 50-100, only limited by my bookshelf and now much it can hold. Most of my major book-purchases come around during the Singapore Writers Festival, so annually I drop between $100-200 on new books signed by authors I’ve met in person. Every 2-3 years I cycle out books from my bookshelf I no longer care to go back to and donate it to the book exchange shelf in my local library to make room for new titles.

12. How much would you say you’ve paid in library fines in your life?

Probably less than $5. I’m pretty neurotic about returning things on time.

11. How many books per month do you usually borrow from the library?

Probably less than one to be honest, but when the Writers Festival swings around, loads, to get an advance look at the authors that are coming I may enjoy the work of. Nowadays I usually buy my books.

13. Do you read in bed?

A resounding yes. It’s how I screwed up my eyesight as a kid!

14. Do you ever read while walking or driving?

Sometimes when walking but often I’m just scrolling reddit or catching up on current affairs and UK politics (I don’t live there but I can’t help following it). I don’t drive but I do read books when I commute on public transport.

15. OK, let’s get real. Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever read a book?

What, pray, be a strange place to read a book?

16. Do you listen to audiobooks?

Not particularly, as I find I can absorb information much faster reading words on a page. I also find it hard to multitask when something’s being read out because I want to pay attention to the story. I do, however, listen to radio plays adapted from books!

17. Has anyone ever read aloud to you or you to them?

Plenty, being on the receiving end of readings from many authors from attending the Writers Festival and events at independent bookstores. For me reading: loads of times workshopping my own work while I was pursuing my creative writing minor in university.

18. What was the most difficult book to read?

I attempted Lolita by Nabokov when I was about 14 or 15 and don’t think I got past the first 50 pages.

19. What books do you intend to read but keep putting off?

Craptons. Including the aforementioned Good Omens which I’ve owned for 7 years but never finished. Others that have been sitting on my shelf for the longest time now include The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and The Book of Dust by Phillip Pullman (Lyra, my chosen name that I now use professionally, came from the protagonist of Pullman’s His Dark Materials). As you can see my stable of books mainly tend towards SF/F.

20. Do you buy new or used books, paperbacks or hardcovers, leather or collector’s?

Absolutely! I buy mostly new – see Writers Festival book acquisitions from the earlier question. Mostly paperbacks but occasionally hardcovers if the price difference isn’t too dear. Secondhand bookstores are a dying trade here so I don’t get much opportunity to shop for used. I’m also constantly wary about how much room I have on my shelves and pick my purchases carefully. I usually don’t buy collectors editions because I don’t like having to be precious with my books -  they’re there to enjoy, to crack the spines in and get their corners banged up from being hastily stuffed into bags. With special editions I feel an odd obligation to keep them pristine.

21. How do you feel about writing in books?

Depends. If it’s a book I specifically want for reference, especially non-fiction I don’t mind marking them up. Otherwise I typically don’t.

22. Do you lend books?

I do! There have been books I’ve lent out for years and not sought back though. I do prefer to get them back eventually because books I do keep on my shelves usually hold the memory of the time I had with them, and are usually paperback editions whose covers I enjoyed and are no longer in print. It never feels quite the same to just get a new copy.

23. What were your favourite books as a child?

I read with such volume and variety when I was a child I actually hardly remember specific titles. I’m sure there was Dahl in there somewhere. An awful lot of Blyton and Nancy Drew/Famous Five which are now horrendously outdated but from which I still hold onto fond imagined memories of British summer days and mysterious nights, which are experiences I still sort of seek out when I go to the UK on rambles or hikes.

24. What children’s books do you enjoy as an adult or young adult?

If we’re talking specifically Children’s books and not YA, almost anything written by Kes Gray (Oi Frog!/The Trouble with Daisy series) and Julian Gough (Rabbit and Bear series, whose first book is a great introduction to the concept of gravity, hibernation, and the nutrition of rabbit poo). I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Terry Pratchett’s Discword series, which includes several YA titles but even the main books in the series are fantastic reading for kids I think.

25. Do you ever read the ending first?

Oh gosh, why would anyone do that to themselves?

26. grab the book nearest to you (I picked something non-GO related), go to page 29 and type line 17 (if there isnt a line 17 type line 3)

“You always tell me that when someone is special, then the system has to make an exception." Connect (Julian Gough) – a cheeky one-of a kind signed edition I got from Julian’s apartment in Berlin when I visited him a couple months ago, combining the UK book jacket with US deckled-edge hardback. He started out as a writer I admired, then a mentor, and is now a fond friend.

Episode 4: “Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where”- Austin

I kinda wish our tribe would lose just so I could see where the lines are tbh. Also I have a bad feeling that at a swap/merge our tribe is gonna be picked off because we’re going in with the most numbers and on a base level that’s dangerous; however, I do think it could be deeper than that because of the preconceived relationships and I’m looking forward to seeing who goes home tonight and where we go from here.

This round was a little wild for me. Austin has been my fave since the beginning and we finally created an alliance. We both liked eve so that was easy but we wanted one more person. This is where things got a little complicated. Him and eve both liked isaac but honestly i wasnt feeling isaac and love pat. But i didnt want to push too hard so we just went ahead with isaac. 

BUT we also talked to pat and will have ANOTHER alliance with him (so austin, pat and me). SO basically im working with everyone right now except keaton. Im glad our tribe has been killing it because that means no TC wooo 

We tribe swapped so that is fun. It's always interesting to have a switch up. I have still yet to be screwed by a tribe swap in my entire history of playing ORGs which is something I am happy with. This is one of the best iterations of a tribe I can think of actually. I can forge a closer bond with Xander and Dylan, because now if we lose I won't need to vote one of them out, they become my core 3. So, right after the swap I made an OG Malakoff chat with myself, Xander, and Dylan. I just wanted the immediacy to show that I was serious in wanting to stick to that, which I am. I have communicated several times that I want to work with Isaac, so ideally Austin will go in the event that we lose. I feel bad because he is a sweetheart, but he doesn't fit into my strategy, and if anyone understands game being game, he does.

I love my new tribe??? Not only is nick still here so that gives me a safety net, the sammy I like is here. Pat is here. No idea who eve is but that’s okay too. I’m loving this. Inb4 I get voted out next Bc they actually really fucking hate me :^). Byebye payton it was nice kinda knowing you? Hello ~hopefully~ friends <3

I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack.

Tribe swap....just what I didn't want to happen . I dont ha e my #1 ashley with me but at least I got issac here. Jared is on my tribe now too so that could go either way for me because he knows how I play the game. Gonna have to pull something out if my ass here .

This is for Alyssa you dumb ugly fat white bitch why you keep asking me for a confessional with trifling dirty white racist ass big fat bitch x Anyways. Made an alliance with Pat and Sammy! V excited to work with them but we’re snapping in immunity so, I don’t see why we would need to vote off Vi.... I mean someone at tribal! Hehe

Well....we got our last handed to us. I'm not happy going to tribal bc I feel I'll be the one going. I talk with jared and issac the most but I feel jared will stick with xander and dylan. Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where.

I have been busy the past couple of days so this challenge being a endurance/speed comp was a struggle. And it looks like my team didn't do much. To help... It's fine we can get out one of these other two dead weights. Speaking of them. Im glad the swap merged me with two allies but the other two just suck to talk to... And that's coming from me .. Jess knows what I'm talking about. Anyways I don't want them here and want them gone. As for my allies. I like Jared a lot we are getting along and enjoying ourselves. He's definitely the one I trust most in this game and hopefully it gets me to merge where I can start phase 2 and hopefully get far. Dylan is fine .. he's offline a lot but he's from old tribe so like it helps. 

Just finished the challenge, OH MY GOD i suck at trivia but thankfully sammy snapped and we won, thank u sammy love u so much!!! Still dont believe he is straight tho x IM JOKING PLS DONT KILL MEDFHNSJFDH

I hate confessions. That’s my confession for the round... jkjk. Eh there isn’t much to talk about now that it’s tribal time. I hope whoever from our og tribe stays safe but I forgot who is there so oops. Sammy killed it. I still call bs on the centipede question but oh well. It wouldn’t have changed the result. It would have just made the gap close by 1. 

LOVE MY NEW TRIBE. So happy we swapped. I’m with actual love of my life ASHLEY!!! And Chloe is amazing too. Aidan popped off in the challenge. Keaton is Keaton. This is a good group and I’m glad they did rlly well in the challenge. I love this kind of thing but I wasn’t able to constantly be on my phone all weekend bc that’s rude :( so I’m glad it worked out. Hoping the tribe swap works out in our favor and Xander jared and Dylan stay together for the vote. Idk if Isaac and jared are friends??? I hope Isaac leaves because he knows I’m a ‘threat’ in games and because I think Ashley yelled at him once. Idk who Austin is but Ashley likes him. But idk how likely that is if Isaac and jared have a connection. As long as jared stays safe ifgaf who leaves.

Yowza. We got absolutely wrecked in the challlenge. I don't WANT to lose any challenges, but I believe in the long run I should be happy to take this L. As another way to show my loyalty, I decided to give my idol progress in the chat with Xander and Dylan. I noticed Dylan never reciprocated so that gives me 1 reason to be wary. Then, Dylan posted a very inappropriate joke in the tribe chat in reference to Survivor Thailand, and the word "rape" was used, so that was the 2nd thing to make me uneasy. At first, Dylan and Xander had no opinion on who to vote, so I voiced that I would like to vote Austin- then Dylan remembered who Isaac is and said "he can go." I eventually got things back on track to target Austin, but Dylan better be careful- it's 3 strikes and you're out with me. I have a good relationship with Isaac so I wouldn't be surprised to see Dylan go if we lose again.

Day 9 on the survivor tribe. My thoughts are about toes and only toes. They are consuming my entire day. I exist merely to think of toes. 

Also Chloe...

Okay so I’m just gonna throw down some of my thoughts right now since I’ve been very quiet in confessionals. I fucking hate these small ass fucking tribes. It makes the thought of going to tribal terrifying because your odds of going home are increased. Since the swap ive actually really been enjoying my time, I really like my new tribe and I feel I can actually connect with these people better than on my first tribe. I am glad to actually have Aidan with me because he’s like THE person I want to work with from my og tribe, along with Vi. I still have my reservations on Nick even though I think he’s nice I can’t trust him as far as I could throw him. I really feel that the trivia challenge brought us closer together as a tribe since what’s a better bonding experience than yelling at Jess that she’s wrong 50 times in one day. I think we’re all collectively quite strong and I really hope that means we can slide past for a while without going to tribal. 

Honestly i always forget what i confess from last time but i still think I’m in a good position in the game. However I really do not want to go to tribal because I don’t want to show my cards. Eve and Pat both want me to work with them so we have an alliance and then Vi and Nick approached me and want to work with me as well. This was completely surprising to me bc I felt as if I would just be an easy vote out if we were to go to tribal since I’m a lone wolf. However I’m in the middle and I feel somewhat powerful knowing that people want to keep me and want to work with me. Me and nick have had a rocky relationship in past games but i think he’s a great person. He’s just a wildcard. I love vi and i think she’s the sweetest person to have ever existed but my gut is telling me to work with pat and Eve atleast for the first vote. Hopefully I don’t have to make the decision but who knows. That’s all I have for now other than I think the idol system isn’t anything I keep getting zapped. I feel like a fly in a southern home...ZAP.

I couldn’t remember the day so I put 69. I hate this tribe with my whole heart and my whole bussy. Jared is the only one giving me any sort of shot at making it passed this round. Austin is a slime ball who will do anything to save his own skin, Xander is dead apparently, and Dylan has been tracking down places where famous people died. I feel like this is my own personal hell and while I’ve been assured that Austin is going home (which I wouldn’t be surprised was a lie) I still have to make a swap or a merge and with the clowns on this tribe being inactive and never talking about anything but Star Wars or not talking at all I don’t know how possible it is to win a goddamn challenge. 

*insert Da'vonne pretends to be shoocked gif at a swap* Since it didn't happen at 16 I wasn't surprised too see it at 15 but I'm glad because three tribes provides for much more buffer. My initial reaction to my tribe was positive as I saw that I had Chloe and three new people in the mix. I'm not gonna lie that I was getting bored on my old tribe but I do hope that Nick is doing alright. He's one ally that I'd love to connect with again... Vi is alright too but I don't know how strong of a connection we fostered. First impressions of my new tribemates: Keaton - I heard he was fucking with my friend in another game so my guard was up but I tried and he seems aloof and random with his contributions but it makes sense since he's playing 4 games at once. Will probably work off of the others who contribute in challenges? We'll see. Ashley - Sweet and seems like a hard worker. Not too much of a read on her yet Owen - He seems nice and genuine but not much of a read from a game perspective yet. It seems the split is 2-2-1 on my tribe from previous tribes but I don't know how strict to tribal lines people are going to play but I can feel some aloofness with Keaton and Ashley is traveling so... that's that on that. If we were going to tribal I have no idea what the fuck would happen but I want to strengthen connections. Honestly I think we can make it to the merge without hitting an elimination but who knows. THANKFULLLLLLLY my ass had a lucky night on the railroads and jumped to spot number fifty and apparently found a STEAL A VOTE. This is what I DESERVE. Thank you Old West Gods for blessing me, the star, with this iconic power. I'm glad I have it in my back pocket and I'm not telling a fucking soul. If it needs to be used, it will be flaunted and I will pop shit. Hopefully I can save it for after merge but if I need to control a pre-merge vote just to get my way, I'm going to do it. 

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-ep-2

“But what's the point of post-racial When old prejudice remains? And that guy who killed that kid Down in Florida standing ground Is free to beat up on his girlfriend And wave his brand new gun around While some kid is dead and buried And laying in the ground With a pocket full of skittles”

Dear Little Brother,

Can you believe it's been five years already?  Time really does fly by.  You would have been 22 now.  I would like to tell you that in the time since your life was robbed from this world, that this country and society has progressed.  That we learned from the lessons of the past.That the nation grew and started to heal the wounds deep into our history.  But we haven't.  In some ways, most ways, we've taken steps back. You wouldn't believe  who's the President now!  It's still kinda crazy thinking about now. I cried the night of the election results.  We went from electing the first noticeably black president to one that is very much supported by white supremacists and white nationalists.  One that can publicly bend the truth in many ways not seen before in this country.  And he gets away with.  It's supposed to be payback. We're supposed to keep our mouths shut and deal with it. The next four years are going to be very long and tiring.  But we endure.

I started graduate school the fall of 2012.  It was the start of period of when I was depressed and overworked between work, jobs, and school.  And trying to figure out my identity and place in the world. It hurt when people would avoid sitting next to me on train, no matter how well I dressed, or how intellectual I looked.  Isn't the dream to have some cute girl sit next you, strike up a conversation, make a connection, and take it from there?  No such thing here.  It's kinda cringe worthy to think about this now.  Living in some fantasy world.  Or how much it hurt when the students I was supposed to go out of my way to help would be the same ones who would do a similar thing of avoiding sitting next to me on the shuttle from the parking lots.  I think this time it hurt more. Here are my comrades, here are the people are supposed to work with me, and who I work and advocate for and apparently it's better to stand than sit next to me? Okay.  Anger. Frustration. Sadness. And when I tried talking to someone who I considered a friend about how I was feeling, they redirected the conversation to themselves.  In retrospect, I probably should have gotten professional help.  But I fell into myself. And hid away.  As I always do and did.  Anyone who really knows me, and really I've only told a few people about this, the first one who I love in ways no one else will know, one who I always  will love, and another who I wish knew how much I care about him, knows that I've always had emotional issues growing up, to the fact I have made multiple attempts at my own life.  But hey, it's good to be absolutely horrible at something, right? Yet we endure.

These experiences made me rethink my blackness and what it meant to be black man in society.  I wasn't as comfortable in it as I am now.  Because I had avoided and ran from it for so long. I used to avoid listening to hip-hop/rap in public because I didn't want to seen as a certain way.  But really, what was I doing?  Why was I trying to be accepted by a world, by people who will never full accept me?  Why try to please the other so much?  You know they always tell you how you're an "Oreo" or how  you're not really "black."  As if blackness has only one facet, one aspect of it.  Because if you don't fit their little idea of what it means to be black, which is usually "ghetto" well then you're one of the good ones.  You speak like you're white. You listen to the same music. You like their movies, their literature.  Maybe you even date their women. You're one of them, until you're reminded that you're not. Because at the short slice, at the quick glance you are what you skin color says you are. You're tall, you're dark skinned.  And that carries weight.  It carries a presence. How you use it, the choice is yours. It’s a power unto your own.  For a while I didn't want to only be defined as this. That I'm more thank my race, my skin color.  I realized now how much internalized racism I had in me that prevented fully embracing who I was.  That this is a fundamental part of who I am, and it doesn't completely define me, but rather has helped formulate the framework in which I see, feel, hear, experience the world around.  The lens through which I am focused. The scanner darkly, so be it.

And you know, after you died, I didn't wear hoodies for almost half a year.  I don't even know if it was fully a conscious decision, but it happened.  I when I thought about it,the full weight hit me.  And I remember my dad warning to me watch myself, and me wanting to blow it off, that he didn't understand. Hubris, ain't it?  But it was really a reminder for him of the times that he grew up in, a reminder that maybe things hadn't really changed in the 50 years since he was kid.  And when I thought about it, really thought about it, it hit me.  And I fell even harder.  I remember when, during an abnormally warm Thanksgiving break, when the two verdicts arrived. And the riots.  And I cried again.  Humiliation. "If I die this instant/Taken from a distance/They would probably list it down/Among other things 'round town"  Thank you America.

From you a movement started.  A movement vilified, for a phrase that needs a "too."  Because time and time again, it is shown how much less our lives are worth to many, how we can be thrown aside.  Unless you are the coon, playing, and miming for them,falling into step, that's when they'll accept you. Chuckin and jivin.  Yessa sir. No ma'am.  Be their pretty little negro, the shining of example of what they should be. Do your part boy and keep your head down. But it's tiring being something you are not. Once they've used you up, they'll cast you aside.  And the struggle fights on.  The duality of our nature.  What it means to be black, and to be American.  Don't they know the purist things, strictly American, are our products?  Blues, Jazz, Rock, these are all black creations, lest we forget.  Made from our fire and fight. Forged through creation and love and anger. Tempered through passion and devotion.

My biggest fear, when it comes to children is how I will have to raise my sons, if I have any. Because black boys are hard to raise.  I cannot deny what my parents did for me helped in the long run, but damn, did it hurt.  Try accepting that, as a nine year old, that the people you want to trust, your very teachers, will think you don't belong, that you aren't capable of being in those advanced classes, that you have to try twice as hard as your white counterparts to succeed, because being good isn't enough.  You have to be the best, no exceptions. Giving it all isn't enough. Give more.  Pour yourself into your work until no one can think you don't belong. Show that you earned your spot, and it's not out of pity. Flawless from start to finish. It is unacceptable to settle. Push yourself. Endure. Push. Endure. Push. Endure. A modern day John Henry in the classroom.  Black boys, yes black boys. Are different.  You try teaching a kid to be hard.  To not take any shit  from the world. To be strong in the face of adversity, and hide and bury it all deep inside until it eats away at  your core.  But you have to be able to turn it off. To love the women in your life. To love the world around you.  And ultimately love yourself. It's really, really hard. To be a series of co-existing hypocrisies and contradictions. Which is why I'm so scared.  Because I don't know if I can do right by him.  I want  a better world for him, so he doesn't have to hate himself, and be happy, and make mistakes, and not be judged.  But that world doesn't exist.  So I will learn.  I read much more about feminism, and how it relates to me as a black man.  I'm still learning though, and will never stop. "“Rules and responsibilities: these are the ties that bind us. We do what we do, because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves. I will do what I have to do. And I will do what I must.”

Do you know what is like to see a black boy go soft?  It's the reason why I love Mahershala Ali so much: sure, he is handsome and classy, but watch the way he changes, how he pivots.  It's so beautiful. It's what I aspire to do myself. To put of this facade, but then change into something completely different within seconds.  When a black boy can go soft before you, watch the age fall away, watch the guard be let down.  It shows they trust you.  Don't take it for granted. I had a conversation where I was the older black guy talking to younger men, the one teaching, the one on his soapbox.  And it was so different from what I was used to. But in those moments, I gained brothers. I worry for them, to see them go through the same things I did, the same struggles. I hope the best for them, I will always love them with a special place in my heart.  Stay pure, stay true. Love yourself before anyone else.

I guess this is where I wrap things up, and say good-bye. I wish I knew you. I wish a person had just listened to what emergency services said, and maybe you'd still be alive today.  Black boys have to be perfect. They dragged you the way Hector was dragged around Troy.  Because if you are anything less than perfect, they will destroy you. Every little mistake, every folly, every blemish will be brought to fruition.  We will never be held to the same standards as them. We can't be stupid and make mistakes like white boys can because it is a matter of life and death.  A childhood robbed. An adulthood never seen. I hope, really hope, that one day I can look back at these things and these feelings and not have to worry about them. But that day isn't today, so it be. So it is. So it goes.

So long little brother.

100

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? Emre and yes. 2. Are you artistic? Yes. 3. Have you had your first kiss? Yes. 4. What is your life goal? To make movies. 5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? Yes. But some aren’t particularly interesting and others are very negative and I don’t care to name drop or regale. 6. Do you play any sports? Yeah. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and while it’s not a sport, rather a military system I have started Escrima. 7. What’s your worst fear? I can’t imagine and even if I could I don’t think it would be wise to release it on social media for all to see. 8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? Jackie Chan. 9. Do you have any cool talents? I can draw. 10. are you a morning person? No. 11. How do you feel about pet names? Indifferent. 12. Do you like to read? Yes. 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. Perhaps Friends, it made me think about having a social life. I’ve always been a workaholic and after a while I considered maybe dedicating more time to my friends. 14. Do you care about your follower count? Not even a little tbh. I follow who I find interesting and I am grateful that I have so many people that are interested in my content and follow me. But, followers mean very little to me. I have blogs other than this one and there are about 4 followers on one of the ones I am very active on. It’s not about the followers for me. It’s just like an online scrapbook. That’s also why I make new ones, it’s kind of like getting a fresh scrapbook to distract me from my big one haha. 15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? Ah, who knows. I’ve been blessed with many pleasant experiences and therefore pleasant dreams. 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? Yup. 17. Do you have any pets? My parents have a cat named Lucky. One day I would like to have a Siberian Husky. 18. Are you religious? I am very spiritual but religious, no. I was raised muslim but I converted to buddhism as a child. However, my mum continued to teach me muslim values. Still, I believe her to be an example of a good muslim. She never said that I couldn’t be a buddhist. She believed I would pick up good values from it so she allowed it. As I grew older I looked to science more. I do not believe in a lot of buddhist beliefs such as reincarnation. However, I do believe in the concept of improving mind of matter, inner-peace and connectivity with the world around you through meditation. 19. Are you a people person? There are instances when I have been. But, for the most part I would say no. I can be quite difficult to like at first as I’m a little rough around the edges. It’s just who I am. I was actually raised in a home that has a decent amount of money. Just, as I took to the arts I saw swearing as a means of expression, so I began to swear frequently. I was curious about my military heritage, so I began martial arts. I have been told by quite a few that it took them a while to warm up to me. I feel like it could also be a cultural thing. Being half-Turkish I am very expressive and passionate when I talk at times and it might come across as a bit much or aggressive to someone who isn’t used to me, so I’m trying to improve on that haha. 20. Are you considered popular? Despite all that I just said, yes. I have many friends. I am a nice person, I play big-brother to everyone. I’m just difficult to warm to. 21. What is one of your bad habits? I swear like a sailor. 22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable? Ohh. Not much these days. I used to feel very vulnerable if I cried. But these days I’ve recognised that it’s actually just a very healthy form of catharsis. It allows for the relief of stress and since I’ve become more secure about crying and expressing emotion I’ve actually become far more secure in my masculinity and the fragility of my ego has drastically improved.   23. What would you name your children? I have no idea. Not sure I want kids. 24. Who’s your celebrity crush? Where to start? Aly Raisman, Jay Park, Daniel Dae Kim and Ariana Grande. 25. What’s your best subject? Filmmaking, art and sport. 26. Dogs or cats? Both! I’m not deciding. 27. Most used social media besides tumblr? Twitter. 28. Best friend(s) name(s)? Kirsten, Alex, Jay, Lizzie, Sarah, Katie and Emin. 29. who does your main family consist of Myself, Emily, Ezgi, Ata and Emin and Lynsey. 30. Chocolate or sugar? Chocolate. 31. Have you ever been on a date? Yeah haha. 32. Do you like rollercosters? Once I’m on them yes. 33. Can you swim? Yeah. 34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse? Depends what kind. My brother and I are super well prepared for a zombie apocalypse. We are gonna collect a stockpile of weapons and head into the water cos zombies can’t swim. We will fish for food and in the event we get stranded there will be camping gear including a makeshift electric fence to keep zombies away. 35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder Yeah. Bipolar Disorder. 36. Are your parents together? Yeah. 37. What’s your favourite colour? Blue. 38. What country are you from/do you live in? London, England. 39. Favourite singer? Loads. I love Jay Park and Panic! At the Disco. 40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? Perhaps but I don’t really want it so meh. 41. Do you like dresses? On girls yeah. 42. Favourite song right now? This is Gospel. 43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope. 44. How old were you when you first got your period? I’m not a girl. 45. Have you ever shot a gun? I wanna. 46. Have you ever done yoga? Yeah. 47. Are you a horror girl? Totes. 48. Are you good at giving advice? Sometimes. 49. Tell us a story about your childhood: I used to do stuff like forge sick notes from my dad and I am dead-ass serious when I say that there was like five spelling mistakes per note but somehow I managed to forge his signature exactly the same way and it’s something that’s baffled all of us to this day. 50. How are you doing today? Good. 51. Were you a cute kid? Yeah I guess. 52. Can you dance? No. 53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? Basically every time I’m drunk. 54. Have you ever dyed your hair? Loads of times. 55. What colour are your eyes? Green. 56. What’s your favourite animal? Dogs. 57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? Every single time I’m drunk haha.  58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Meh. 59. Do you have good friends? Yeah. 60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? Yeah. 61. What’s your favourite class? Film & TV. 62. List all the TV shows you are watching: Doctor Who, Prison Break, OPM, Rick and Morty and American Dad. 63. Are you organised? Yeah. 64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? Assassin’s Creed. Shit. 67. Which TV character do you relate to most? Maybe Zuko.  68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? Nothing. 69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? What I’m doing now. 70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? Nothing. Live hard. 71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? Nothing. 72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? Yeah. 73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yeah. 74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? A year ago. 75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? My heavy bag. 76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? I edited my screenplay and enrolled in a world-class Escrima academy. 77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? An artist. 78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? Nothing really, that’s what I’m doing. 79. When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? These kids were bullying another kid and I knew in my heart I should have stopped them but I didn’t and I kicked myself for the longest time. 80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence: become a filmmaker.  81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? How I’m living.  82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? Trying to be as happy as possible. Learning to meditate and enjoy life. 83. How would you spend a billion dollars? I’d buy a flat and travel/live comfortably for the entirety of my life. 84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? Past. 85. What motivates you to succeed? Art. 86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? I was a hit-man on a boat and killed everyone including my family. It has me shook to do this day. 87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? Woods. Because it sounds like an adventure.  88. Do you believe in life after death? No.  89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? School has been a prison to me and I long to escape.  90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? I have many. Living in the mountainsides in Turkey strikes a fond chord.  91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? Bruce Lee. I’d want to pick his mind. 92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? World peace. 93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? People don’t hand you shit you have to go out and take it and you have to be willing to literally bleed for it.  94. What do you think happens after we die? We decompose and reunite with the earth.  95. What would you do if you would be invisible? Girls’ locker room. 96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? Beastiality.  97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? Yes. Playing God FTW.  98. How did your first crush develop? Basically we were bffls in Primary School and I got a crush on her and she got a crush on me. 99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? Depression. Well, I’m not depressed now. But after certain events a little while ago I tried to take my life. Since then I’ve pretty much just lived my life in the way that makes me that happiest.  100. Do you live or do you just exist? I live.

Episode 1 - Should We Just Call It A Day And Vote Out A Heterosexual Or What ~ Isaac

Okay so right away I like trixie! Shes funny and I think we'll work well together. RTP is cool too since he likes HAIM and all HAIM lovers are great. Its fun having raf back on my tribe since we played before but I want to make new relationships so I dont want to just default to him. I also played with Eric before but voted him out so awk i hope he doesn't hold a grudge!! Im liking the tribe tho but hating this twist so much. Im using my idol at the first tribal FDSKJFSDH but then what if I get voted next since i dont have one.

I'm really nervous because I don't know anyone that well on my tribe except for Logan, and they all seem to know each other. I'm gonna slap on a smile and pretend that I have confidence.

WOW I JUST GOT IN AND IM EXCITED!!!!! well ummm I like to say ummm that everyone having idols is like ummm a bad thing because... if everyone plays it but one person.... they be idol'd out umm... yea. and plus... I have to like keep myself safe somehow...

This tribe? Loving the concept. I want to work with Bryce because I know he's a sweet baby boy. He'll be loyal if I scoop him up first. Also, Trixie is as cracked as ever. I love that we all have idols. Guaranteed safety is a concept I love, but Trixie also told me she has an extra idol. Now, she might be lying since she said that Willow told her that one "houseguest" got an extra idol. This ain't Big Brother, and I would have preferred if she did not have an extra idol. She is straight up lying to me, but we'll see how it goes from here. Tonight is for forging bonds.

Okay, this season is cute as heck! I am gonna give a full tribal first impression. Akito: My boy, we work well together and hopefully that can continue here. Isaac: Tends to get medevaced but I still adore this sweet boy and I look forward to playing with him again Jackson: Very social initially! I see myself in him, he also just started college and yadayada. Kelsey: We've exchanged like 4 messages but nice enough Linus:  A GOOD BEAN WHERE DID HE GO IN HOENN WE JUST DONT KNOW Mo: Pun Boy tm, but this is my turf so we're gonna have to share that title QuilLynn: Listen. She likes adore Delano. that's all I need Tyler: HE DOESNT LIKE MY PUNS that's all, see ya later 

Love my tribe not doing much for the challenge! I got 9 of our 16 points so hope it shows that I'm trying. Although I only got 9 of a possible 18 possible points I could have gotten so yikes 50%! 

im shocked we won immunity i didnt do anything sooooooOoo I was busy checking to see if i was pregnant jk

People I've socialized with: 0 

We meet again Raffy... We. Meet. Again.

I love my tribe its so cute! Jackson is my friend from TS Ebola and I love him so much so yay! Mo is great I'm really glad Him me and Jackson could form a good group so early! Logan is great he guested a week in a BB i'm in and he was nice and said he's glad to be playing a game with me so woo! Tyler is nice so far but you can tell he is cocky af and I know even though he's new he's good at these games! I'm hoping we lose immunity, because I think I'd like to take tyler out asap, but if we win at least I know i'm not first boot. 

So like yay for reward. Like winning a competition? A concept. Now, I feel like sending RTP to exile was the best decision since he was not going to participate in the challenge, but sending Tyler there was also an added bonus. I've played with Tyler before and I do not really trust him. I do not want him to make merge or be on the same tribe as him. So like, he can go sooner rather than later. Finally, me vs. Mo? We love a hero/villain dynamic. :) 

We lost the reward challenge, it would of been nice to go to exile and date someone on the other tribe. We would of some funnnnnnn like bring out the margarita bring out the nachos and quesadilla with guacamole. Because it's about to get HOT in here!

ok so my tribe is cool except trixie...they are annoying...im over it...and i got to go to exile because im gonna be at a wedding....lol take that! 

so... we lost. yep. hoping to kill an inactive, hoping to not die. that's all

We won! Loving the concept! Being safe is such an icon and Willow is such an icon. Anyways, I plan on working with Bryce, Trixie, and Richie because they seem like nice people. Literally nothing else to say because no gameplay yet.

Oh god.... oh god no..... this is bad this is really bad

im trying to get richie to showmance me and then we can later on down the road suddenly find out we're cousins and i think that'd be pretty funny. also i love willow she is so sweet and I hope she has a fun time hosting

I'm literally so fucking gay and I just want a showmance like ???? I get here and the only people who I can legally attempt to seduce are Tyler and Mo? So obviously I pick Tyler because Australians are hot and Tyler looks hot and that's fun. So I was like "lol let's vote out a str8 yeah" and then Willow descended from the heavens on her hoverboard and was like "he str8 scum" and I can't believe I'm about to get voted out because I slandered heterosexuals.

Guess who might be using their Jordan Pines idol! THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!

Yay my tribe won immunity. Queens! I just hope that we can keep winning because I haven't talked to anyone. God I need a better social game.

" it will have juice and im living for juice" - Tyler 2k17 Heyo im alive! I was sent off to exile this round... And i came back with an Australian Super Idol! I was given the option to mutiny my tribe, but its a no from me, i tried convincing Ryan to come over but he has some sense in him so he didn't :(. The idol hunt was really intense, there was about 4 different clues leading other clues. It was an adventure and a half. So at 6am i found it! (With no sleep cause sleep is for the weak). Im not telling anyone about the advantage cause.... everyone's a ho. This whole tribal situation is very complicated with all the idols going around. I expect me to be a target this round so im 100% playing an idol considering i have two! I feel like if we just get 3 or 4 people to vote one person who won’t expect it we’ll be good it's hard because you want the vote to be unanimous so everyone feels included but this twist means we have to blindside someone every time Which means we might have to tell the person we vote for a name Yeah its going to be difficult But I bet the person getting the most votes will play an idol so if we just do our own little thing we should be good - My thoughts atm, also sent that to Jackson But now i think I'm going to vote for someone who would never guess that anyone else would vote for them, get rid of a juicy target while i can. Not sure if my vote will have any impact but it will have juice and im living for juice ;). No ones really chatting to me and im assuming most people will play their idols... so #YoloSwag

Yay we won reward!!! Happy to start off on a good note. Sad tho that regan striked. Hope she starts trying more. But I guess it would be nice to have an inactive to vote if we lost a challenge. Trying to socialize with 8 other people is hard but I think I'm doing alright so I hope I've made no enemies.

Tower 7 was a controlled demolition.

Hi there~! I'm Kelsey Valentana Mikaelson, coming to you live and IN full HD colour~! And, what else, it's time for a tribal! Going into the tribal, I was kind of groaning since I was fully expecting to be targeted but alas; I don't think it's going to be me! Now, don't get me wrong, I get that "as soon as you think you're safe, you're GONE!" and all that, but the drama doesn't seem to be circulating around me on tonight, and it's a welcome change! I think, for the most part, people are more set on letting Isaac get the boot tonight, which...eh. I tried throwing Linus' name out there but it seemed to get a bad reaction. Oh well. I still don't want to see Isaac Thunderf*ck go tonight however and this idol twist is very well placed to prevent that. I told Isaac he might receive votes tonight but, for the main part, it's between Linus and Tyler. I think Isaac really genuinely trusts me but I can't tell him he's the majority because...well, I'm actually being SPOKEN to! It's such a weird thing to happen to me, usually I have to do all the bone bashing for myself, but people are actually coming to ME and telling me options, it's uncanny! I don't want there to be any chance AT all of me losing those resources. Speaking of resources, if I had to guess who's puppermaster-ing at this point, I'd look over at lil' Jackson over there. I thought it was sweet and romantic that he wanted to talk to me about the vote and, don't get me wrong, it makes me feel swell but NOT swell enough to realize that the people he suggested to me were the very names everyone else seemed to have "heard" and not came up with themselves. For the most part,  I think my best option is just not...being Krazy Kels and blasting it, but sweaty, I'm only going to be calling Ms. Jackson if she nasty, you feel me? All in all, I'm feeling rather confident about tonight. Either Isaac goes and everyone feels comfortable with telling me plans; Tyler goes who's just...slimey. Or Linus goes! Who's basically just here for the food, I feel. Anyways, say goodbye to Derrick or Kim Chi. And THAT'S all there is to it~! Christmas was ROBBED! -Kelsey V Mikaelson

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my first Confessional. Okay so yeah about this tribe. Not sure how I feel. It's been helpful not having a One World twist (meaning I don't have an obligation to get to know the other tribe) but I haven't made a lot of connections here so it's kind of a wash. Quillynn is my babe and I hope people don't figure out how close we are (because I'm not turning on her anytime soon, that's for sure). Mo quickly pulled us in for an alliance, and while I like him, he's gotten a little attached to Tyler which is kinda messy. Akito is kind of strange but she's nice, and I think not many people talk to her so she's looking to work with me. I get paranoid vibes from Logan but otherwise I like him. Linus, Isaac and Kelsey have been barely active at all, which is problematic but it kind of makes me want them to stay over someone like Tyler (who I think is kind of a big threat). Either way we lost both challenges so that kinda sucks, although at least it means my friend Trixie is safe. Not that I don't want the other tribe to go to tribal at least once though. Any opportunity to finally vote Ryan M. out should be taken, as the students of Kvaloya learned the hard way. Oh by the way I hate this idol twist. I mean I'm probably gonna like it later on in the game when I want to vote out someone who's already used theirs, but for now, it sucks. The people I'm working with want to split the votes between Tyler and Isaac in case one of them idols, but I'm worried something could go wrong. Also it'd be awkward if Isaac went home and Tyler basically knew that he was the backup in case Isaac idoled (which is the truth of the situation, since Mo doesn't want Tyler out even though me and Q do). Okay I'm trying to get this done cause my friend wants to go to dinner so let's  end this here and hope I don't get voted out with like one vote lol

(Late)

okay yoooooo I’m here I’m still recovering from the trauma of my last game so my heart is still healing and I’m not running on full steam at the moment so i haven’t really talked to anyone theres no one on this tribe that i really have clicked with which kinda sucks but its mostly my fault for not speaking to anyone but also no one reached out to me either so they all suck too!!!! we won the first reward and immunity so things are looking good hopefully we can maintain this momentum so that i have time to build some relationships before things set off!

VOTING CONFESSIONALS

Tyler Kelsey voting you because both Tyler and Isaac are gonna play their idols. Maybe but this is a gamble and this vote is a throwaway. Might be me not gonna be surprised if it is everyone having idols is bad.

(Voting for Tyler)  Tower 7 was a controlled demolition

My vote tonight is for Isaac. I’m sorry love, I hope things work out for you <3

Tyler is a manipulative backstabbing little snake in the grass and while hes not masterminding now sweaty, tyler, it's your time to PACK

Logan - I don't know what the fuck is going on but I might as well throw my vote on somebody. Sorry dude. 

I will also be voting for Logan cause YOLO swag money get bitches 

Logan voted out (4) Tyler - (2) Isaac - 2 Logan - 1 Kelsey

Tyler, Isaac, and Linus idoled

Jackson, Quillynn, Linus, and Kelsey voted Tyler

Logan and Mo voted Isaac

Tyler and Isaac voted Logan

Akito voted Kelsey