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genevawren38 · 3 months

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Interested in QSMP but unsure where to start? Then this post is for you!

Hello all!

I've seen a few posts here and there about being interested in the server but feeling overwhelmed with the amount of information there is, so I want to do my best to help as someone whose been here since Day 1.

Let's start out with what is QSMP?

QSMP is a multilingual Minecraft survival world [English, Spanish, Portuguese, French and Korean predominantly so far] opened on March 22, 2023 that uses real time translations to break language barriers and educate a large audience on different cultures through Minecraft content. It came to life under the careful hands of Quackity and his team, building a fantastic world with plenty of stories to uncover. There is both server-based lore and individual creators stories, whoever you choose have all added their personal touches to this expansive place.

At the beginning of 2024 a soft reset happened where their spawn was shifted 200k blocks away from the original, allowing for a fresh start for both the audience and creators which makes it the perfect time for new members of the community!

More info below;

Brief lore recap so far;

QSMP originally started with Spanish and English creators who all got placed on a single world with a large wall down the middle [Quesadilla Island]. Arriving by train a few commented on their past where most seemed to be going for a fresh start from the worlds they left behind. Placing a giant red button on the wall with the words 'don't push it', the streamers ignored that immediately and pressed it. Destroying the wall that kept the two communities apart, early QSMP was very much building and bonding.

Then, the egg tasks came.

So a bit of fourth-wall breaking on the eggs, the eggs are admins who play children that were assigned to one Spanish and one English parent. During the beginning of the event they were paired up and given tasks to complete so their eggs didn't die [ex. reading a story, clearing a dungeon, mining], as they were also in survival the parents had to worry about keeping them alive from the mobs and other players [as QSMP includes a large list of mods there are several enemies who made their lives living hell].

Unfortunately some of the original eggs have since died leading to all the parents to get extremely protective over their own charges and everyone else's. Whether that be the fault of fellow players or the over-seeing organisation called The Federation, the islanders were bonded by tragedy and tribulations.

The Federation is the organisation that oversees caring for the island and its members, the main face is that white bear you've probably seen art of named Cucurucho. Its unclear where their morals lay, a lot of clues hint they are using the members who arrived via train and later other methods of transports as experiments. There have been plotlines investigating into this mysterious organisation, leading to some characters being harmed.

The QSMP is heavily focused on uniting cultures holding multiple holiday events for the different countries involved and raising awareness about traditions. They have also held server-wide events such as Purgatory 1 & 2 where they were all assigned teams and told to fight one another. Other events include being thrown in Prison together, leading to hilarious escape antics and much chaos.

What languages have been added?

The addition list went the Spanish & English, then Portuguese, then French and most recently one Korean creator [so far?].

Who and where can I watch VODs?

There are a total of 37 members [there was 38, but one has since been removed]. I will list them in order of additions as well as a brief statement about their creator, character and lore, you can view them anytime they are live through the link below.

A website crafted by Quackity and his team that allow you to turn on subtitles in your preferred language!

***These statements may contain spoilers of lore and storylines, I did my best to do a broad overview of the points I believe are important to them***

Quackity [English & Spanish speaking] (He / him)

The main man himself, Quackity is up first. Quackity has been making content for over a decade moving from server to server such as SMP Earth, DSMP and Karmaland. He started this project with the intent to break language barriers and by god he decimated them. Prone to clickbait and dramatic titles, he's got a kind heart full of passion you can see in everything he creates.

He plays two characters on QSMP currently, a cubito sharing his name then another named ElQuackity. Quackity is an erratic but caring individual who has a rather lonely lore but an intriguing one. Assigned an egg with no co-parent, Tilin and their father's relationship was distant at best. At the time of his child's death they were on okay terms but the guilt stuck with him until current day. Kidnapped by the Federation, he returned a broken man with little to no memories and had to be protected by others.

ElQuackity is his brother who behaves in a more cold and sinister fashion compared to Quackity's kind-hearted intentions. He disappears and reappears at various points throughout the lore, most recently in Purgatory when he infiltrated a team before being revealed as a traitor. Choosing to remain with the Watcher, who is the overseer of Purgatory, its unsure as to his next moves or his inner motivations.

Wilbur Soot [English speaking] (He / him)

Wilbur Soot is a content creator and musician, he has been absent as of late from the server on a hiatus. You may have heard his name attached to such servers as DSMP, SMP Earth, and SMP Live.

[I do not support him as a content creator, I'm adding this edit post everything coming out. Believe victims!]

He is the father of Tallulah, a sweet girl who loves music and flowers. Often serenading her with his guitar and singing. Entrusting her care to Philza, he hasn't been seen in quite some time. His absence has weighed on his daughter, but she has found her true family now.

FitMC [English speaking / learning Spanish and Portuguese] (He / him)

FitMC is a content creator from the wastelands of 2B2T, the oldest anarchy server in Minecraft. You may recognise him for his iconic voice, he streams Monday through Friday on QSMP. He was also on SMP Earth and SMP Live.

He plays a grizzled anarchist who puts up a front of an asshole but that hides his kind heart. He arrived on Quesadilla Island for a mission he's only recently discussed more in his individual lore and found a family along the way. Father of Ramon, his character recently started dating another by the name of Pac, who we will get into later. He was initially paired up with Spreen, who has since stopped playing on QSMP, as such Fit refers to him as his ex-partner. Close with Tubbo and Pac, their clique came to be known as Morning Crew as they often login at the same time. He worked as a Janitor for The Federation and was a part of the Rebellion against the Federation up until the soft reset, his current employment status is unknown since. In canon, he has a prosthetic left arm in which he stores the data he needs to save.

His chat is known as the Huevitos.

Philza / Ph1lzA [English speaking / learning Spanish] (He / him)

Philza is a content creator who is known for dying in his 5 year Hardcore world to a baby zombie, a spider and a skeleton. The clip went viral landing him on the news, boosting him into regular viewership by Minecraft enthusiasts. His history also includes DSMP, SMP Live and SMP Earth. You may know him as part of Sleepy Bois Inc, as well as a warrior in keeping Technoblade's memory alive. He streams Monday, Wednesday and Friday, usually a few hours in his current Hardcore World before he spends time in QSMP.

Father of Chayanne and Tallulah [Wilbur asked him to care for her in his absence leading to him adopting her as his daughter], he is an corvid hybrid fallen from grace. Notable features include the damaged crow wings you may see in fanarts, he is paranoid and observant. Platonically married to Missa Sinfonia, he is close friends with several islanders despite being a hermit. Fierce and will return damages tenfold if provoked, he has a rocky history with the Federation and other methods of authority, joining Ordo Theoritas, earning Cellbit's trust and admiration with his photography and hoarding of important items. With references to his Hardcore Lore & Deities aplenty, he is my favourite POV and the one I started with.

His chat are portrayed as crows.

Jaiden Animations [English speaking] (She / her)

Jaiden is an animator and creator most well known for her animated gameplay videos and funny anecdotes. I admit I don't know much about her past relating to roleplay servers, she has amazing content regardless.

Jaiden's character is a bit different to the others with an unknown past, lore has revealed that she might be more tied to the Federation than she originally thought. Also an avian hybrid, she formed a close bond with Cucurucho which lead to some distrust between herself and the other islanders. Mother of Bobby, who is deceased, she was partnered with Roier as a parental unit and mourns her lost child to this day.

Her chat is a flock of hummingbirds who follow her around.

BadBoyHalo [English speaking] (He / him)

Badboyhalo has an extensive history with Minecraft gameplay, a prominent member within these communities and was one of the first members of DSMP and now QSMP.

BBH plays a demon hybrid who is friendly and kind, he is willing to help out any member new and old. Logging long hours he probably has some of the highest playtime on that server, whether that be caring for the egg children, hanging out with friends or bothering Foolish Gamers. All the eggs look up to him as a parental figure, there are plenty of jokes he is the server's babysitter but I don't think he minds. All islanders have spoken about how much they trust him with their charges, his priority has always been the kids. Father of Dapper and Pomme, he co-parents them with Baghera Jones.

His community is known as Ghosties.

Foolish Gamers / Foolish [English speaking / learning Spanish] (He / him)

Foolish is well known for his incredible building skills, when he was added to DSMP it brought his name into relevancy where he flourished, expanding his gameplay into other games like Valorant which has a loyal following. He often engages in months long projects such as building the Titan from AOT and streams long hours regularly on the QSMP.

His character is portrayed as a Totem of Undying mixed with shark genes, leading to emerald eyes and parts of shark mixed into his physiology. Silly and chaotic, he is a well loved POV of the server for his jokes and ability to stumble across lore. Viewed as a more laid-back parent, he helps them learn through experience while making sure they don't get seriously hurt. He was hired by the Federation as an agent and an enforcement officer, leading to his fellow islanders keeping information away from him in fear. Father of Leonarda with Vegetta, his partner has been absent for many months leading to him raising and caring for Leo alone.

His chat are called Doozers, a reference to the TV show Fraggle Rock.

DanTDM [English speaking] (He / him)

I am going to keep this one short and sweet, Dan was one of the original members but ended up dropping out of the project due to personal reasons, no bad blood. Father of Trump with AgenteMaxo, Trump died quite early into the server due to neither of their parents logging in.

Charlie Slimecicle [English speaking] (He / him)

Charlie Slimecicle is a hilarious creator who has a gift for breathing life and depth into any character he creates. Sharing a similar history as others on this list, he participated in DSMP, SMP Live and SMP Earth.

His character is tragic, in short. He was charged with caring for an egg he named Juana Flippa with his wife ElMariana, their daughter then died from a sweeping edge glitch that was discovered months after her death. Going on the rampage of a lifetime, he was stopped by the other members when his intent was to kill the other children potentially forcing whoever was in control to revive them all including his daughter again. Failing, he has struggled to find a place and purpose for months until his 'daughter' came back and he became infected with a type of code virus causing his physical appearance to become warped. During the QSMP Prison arc he was informed he was a father of one of the newest eggs, SunnySideUp, his co-parents are Tubbo, Pol and Lenay.

Luzu [English & Spanish speaking] (He / him)

I am going to be honest, I am a newer fan of Luzu so I will do my best to describe him but please take this with a grain of salt.

Luzu is a creator who played on the same server as Quackity called Karmaland which a good majority of the Spanish speakers have in common. Sarcastic, chaotic and slightly unhinged, he's always willing to go with the bit.

Luzu's lore is interwoven with the main storyline, though his cubito has been IA from the server he would often log in to leave cryptic messages in binary and computers followed him everywhere he settled. Father of Tilin with Quackity, Tilin unfortunately also passed early into the server leaving them in mourning. Something the parental unit holds to this day, threatening harm against the party who was the cause of their child's death.

Luzu's character is unique as he also has a counterpart named Arin, an AI bot who takes over when Luzu goes to sleep. Unable to speak aloud, they communicate through typing in the game chat and is extremely naïve.

Rubius [Norwegian, Spanish & English speaking] (He / him)

Rubius I admittedly don't know the most about as he was active early in the server's lifetime but less so lately. Also a member of Karmaland.

In those beginning days he played an Angel / Devil entity who seemed particularly protective of the eggs the islanders were assigned between making requests of the server members in exchange for rewards. Prior to the Purgatory Event he revealed he had been stripped of his power and thrown back to the mortal realm to participate in the Purgatory Event, it's unsure past that point as he has not logged back in.

ElMariana [Spanish speaking / learning Portuguese and English] (He / him)

Mariana is a creator who hails from the lands of Tiktok, he's dramatic and friendly, often a little bit flirty.

Mariana is Slimecicle's goverment assigned wife and they often playfully argue with one another between divorces. The other half of Juana's parents, he has a rough past of being the reason Flippa lost one of her lives. It's referenced to this day despite the fact Mariana cares quite a bit for the remaining children, gentle and sweet with everyone's kids. He's one of the less active members, recently given a new child named Pepito who he co-parents with Roier, Carre, Quackity and Rivers.

SpreenDMC [Spanish speaking] (He /him)

Another one I will keep short as he no longer plays on the server. Father of Ramon, his influence only shows in the family he abandoned occasionally making snarky comments against his character. Rumours go he is Missa's brother but I am not entirely sure how canon that is to the server's lore.

Missa Sinfonia [Spanish & English speaking / can understand some Portuguese] (He / him)

Missa is a musician and a Youtube-based creator primarily, he knew Roier, Spreen and Quackity prior to his invitation to the QSMP. The epitome of wet cat energy, you can't help but enjoy his silly energy as he will always bring a smile to your face with his antics.

Very similar to his character in fact, paired up with Philza during the initial egg event they were quick to label themselves platonically married as they cared for their son Chayanne. Missa is a rare appearance on the island but always a delightful one when he does. He believes he isn't worth Phil's affections due to his absences, something Phil is quick to squash as he always makes sure there is space in their lives for him. A rare eclipse when they are together, the fandom likes to compare them to the sun and the moon. Tallulah considers him her third father, post being asked during the Prison event when there was a rare reunion of 4 of 5 members of the Death Family [Philza, Missa, Chayanne, Tallulah and Wilbur Soot].

Roier [Spanish & English speaking / can understand some Portuguese] (He / him)

Roier hails from the land of Youtube gameplays where he posts regularly. Friends with Missa, Quackity, Spreen and Rubius among others, he was one of the original draft for Quesadilla Island.

In character Roier is funny, energetic and known for playing multiple personas with a talent for voice acting. Easy to get along with and goated at fighting, he is only a call away when something serious happens. Paired with Jaiden to become Bobby's parents up until Bobby's death, he remains close with Jaiden and protects her. Adopted as a son by Foolish and Vegetta, he has a playful relationship with his sister Leo and will look after her if needed. Meeting and falling in love with fellow islander Cellbit, after they got married he considers Richarlyson and Pepito as his own. One of his persona's is Melissa, his cousin who runs a therapist office in the original borders of the land. His streams on the server are random, but a good time!

I am not the most caught up on his lore but from what I have seen in passing he went into mourning when Cellbit chose to stay on Purgatory in an effort to save his son and his personality became more withdrawn. Roier has a twin brother Doied who implemented his twin's consciousness into a rat and took over Roier's body. This lore is still ongoing, some islanders have become suspicious of Doied.

Vegetta777 [Spanish speaking / some fluency in English and French] (He / him)

Another arrival who has Karmaland in his past, Vegetta is known for his impressive builds and a love of symmetry. He has a distinct voice and is famous within the Spanish community for his gameplay.

He was decently active at the start, creating a large property he then surrounded with security procedures after a certain red-hood wearing demon broke in to trade with his villagers. Paired up with Foolish as parents of Leo, both doted on their child with great amounts of love until Vegetta stopped logging on.

I don't know the story as to why he hasn't come back in a while, but it led to a storyline of Foolish & Leo becoming much more dependant on each other and his character still has importance each time either of them see something that reminds them of him.

Maximus [Spanish & English speaking] (He / him)

Another person I am not sure about his history [I can't find too much online so I'll talk mainly about his lore].

Maximus is the other half of Trump's parents who took his son's death hard. Launching him into investigating the real truths behind Quesadilla Island and later establishing the The Theory Bros in an effort to uncover anything to help, Max was a figurehead in early lore for pushing back against the Federation and trying to find out their secrets. His creation of the Theory Bros lead to Ordo Theoritas, which will become important in later character discussions. Max has since passed in the lore via giant nuke on Egg Island, where Purgatory was held, but I've heard some rumours he may return in the future. Do not take that as a certainty, I only know from a few clips I have seen with him speaking about it.

~That's it for the original members, let's move on to who was added afterwards~

The Cargo Ship arrival April 30, 2023

Cellbit [Portuguese, English & Spanish speaking] (He / him)

Cellbit is a famous creator from Brazil through many forms of creative media, his most prominent being a tabletop RPG called "Ordem Paranormal" he created and hosts regular campaigns through. Compassionate and clever, he is known for his love of puzzles and roleplay. Most notably of his past is his escape from prison pertaining to his character alongside Pac and Mike within Minecraft: FUGA IMPOSSÍVEL - O FILME.

The character he plays has an incredible amount of depth, deeply entwined with the Federation and other fellow members of the island. Curious as a cat he began to investigate the mysterious organisation known as the Federation. Going to dangerous depths to find hidden secrets, becoming employed by them in an attempt to grow closer. This eventually lead to his capture and subsequent torture by Cucurcuho.

Once he was released he went on to take a more passive role, forming Ordo Theoritas. Spreading the word he would take any information, other islanders stepping up to help. Leading to him growing closer with his fellow people as his life turns more joyful, he marries Roier in the first wedding on Quesadilla Island. He is the father of Richarlyson, Bobby and Pepito and twin brother of Bagi. Though his past is bloody and left scars on friends of old such as Pac & Mike, many members trust him implicitly and he always takes special care to save flowers for all the egg children, forging close bonds with them all as one of their tios. Cellbit took a break from QSMP post-Purgatory events but has since returned, he likes doing multiple things a stream as such the QSMP is often a segment between various games and chatting.

Felps [Portuguese & English speaking / learning Russian] (He / him)

Felps has a running joke going with the QSMP that he never actually joined, which is only reinforced by his more rare logins to the server. He streams often on Twitch leading to most of his content surrounding that channel and is a longtime friend of Cellbit, Pac and Mike.

I am going to be so real, I don't know the most about Felps and the character he plays other than he dug a giant hole near original spawn and the islanders now worship him as Saint Felps. An adoptive father of Richarlyson he is spoken about fondly by other islanders, indicating he has a caring heart and is an attentive father when he logs in.

Pac [Portuguese & English speaking] (He / him)

One half of Tazercraft, Pac is an excitable and enthusiastic creator who you can't help but become enamoured with. Bright and a fantastic actor, his history is connected with both Cellbit and Mike prior to QSMP in Minecraft: FUGA IMPOSSÍVEL - O FILME.

As a character Pac is friendly and approachable, often even flirty with those he is comfortable with. He is positive to everyone but himself, lacking any love towards the accomplishments of his past. He loves with his whole heart, quick to comfort anyone who needs it or to be a listening ear. His right leg was lost during his escape from prison with Mike, resulting in a prosthetic. He co-owns Chume Labs with his best friend, enjoying causing general shenanigans with those he is close with whether that be breaking rules or going places they shouldn't be. A recent development is he is now dating FitMC after the anarchist told him the truth about the anarchist's past, a couple formed on the basis of a strong friendship they are not afraid to flaunt their happiness. Quick to accept Ramon as his son alongside Richarlyson, he will give it all to protect those he now see as his family. A member of the Rebellion against the Federation, he lends his aid when needed as one of the newest recruits. Close to Fit and Tubbo, a grouping that came to be known as Morning Crew as their schedules matched leading to many occasions of spending time together.

Mike [Portuguses & English speaking] (Any pronouns)

Outspoken, silly and a fun time to watch, you know you will be entertained after tuning into one of Mike's streams. Best friend of Pac and married to a beautiful soul, he has an enjoyable energy to him. The other half of Tazercraft, he participated within Minecraft: FUGA IMPOSSÍVEL - O FILME.

A lot of this carries over to his character, an erratic scientist at Chume Labs with a love for general rule-breaking and experimenting. He *ahem* took a bunch o' Kelp cocaine and passed out for a good long while but he has since returned. Between himself and Pac they have built several minigames on QSMP such as Hide n' Seek and Murder Mystery. A more strict parent of Richas compared to his best friend, he is willing to go to any length to save those he loves including spilling blood. A regular appearance on QSMP, he enjoys spending time with his friends and his son.

Forever [Portuguese & English speaking] (He / him)

I wasn't even sure I wanted to include this but I wish to record the actions of only his character. He was expelled from the QSMP for past actions that I do not condone under any circumstances. I will not go into detail here, I will leave that up to you if you wish to search.

In my statement below I am only speaking of the character he played and the lore he influenced.

Forever arrived with the rest of the Brazilian members and soon thereafter the Elections arc kicked off. He was voted in as President and was the liaison between the Federation and the rest of the islanders. A doting parent, he built NINHO, a protective hotel that could instantly teleport entities by simply interacting with a camera tablet all islanders held to protect everyone's children. When their children went missing it led to him being medicated by Cucurucho to become happier. Pac followed his footsteps with the intent to also become less sad but was convinced by Cellbit to document his symptoms in an attempt to find a cure. Due to that foresight, both of them were cured by Philza, BBH and Cellbit after finding the instructions and ingredients at Chume Labs. Later becoming infected by black matter which seemed to possess him, he was then stopped by Cucurucho during a rampage who then executed him after teleporting him far away.

The Plane arrival May 16, 2023

Baghera Jones [French & English speaking / learning Spanish] (She / her)

Baghera Jones is a badass. That's the long and short of it. As a creator she has raced cars and is just about the coolest person I have ever seen. She has an active YouTube channel and enjoys streaming regularly.

She also plays an amazing character on the server. Strong, smart, sensitive and strong, she is respected by many members of the island. Mother of Pomme and Dapper, she took to motherhood quickly and dotes on her children with her whole heart. She did run for President but then gave up her chance as a rebellious act against the Federation. Striving to get better in fighting skills to protect her loved ones, she will go to the bloody end for those she loves. She took a break from the server at the same time Cellbit did but has since returned.

Her chat is potrayed as fireflies.

Etoiles [French & English speaking] (He / him)

Etoiles is a man of culture and is honourable, an enthusiast for learning new things besides his gaming content he also hosts museum walkthroughs educating thousands about ancient histories. Known for his prowess in both Super Smash Bros and Minecraft PVP, he often grinds long hours on the QSMP in pursuit of knowledge about the world they were spawned into.

His character is an anthroplantae cucumber, no I am not kidding, who is infected by code after completing his sword earned through combat. One of the main antagonists near the start of the lore were these creatures the islanders nicknamed Code Monsters who would appear with overpowered weapons. Choosing to prove his worth in battle, Etoiles spent many hours battling these beasts and learning their methods, earning himself a special shield and sword and the title of the best at PVP on QSMP. He enjoys bantering with fellow islanders and is generous with items, liking to gift items to people to make their lives easier. Father of Pomme, he will do anything for those he protects and enjoys being tio of all of the eggs. A member of the Rebellion, he strives to create harmony on the server and to protect those compromised or weaker than him.

AntoineDaniel [French & English speaking] (He / him)

Antoine is multifaceted as an actor, streamer and Youtuber [he even has a Wikipedia page, I just found out]. He seems clever and very comedically gifted, easily making others laugh.

There isn't much known about the character he portrays which seems to be ideal thing for him. A mystical identity with multiple faces, alluding to not being human and higher that average health, he will always surprise you. He appears when he wants to and leaves impressions on everyone he comes across.

Kameto [French speaking] (He / him)

There isn't much online with who Kameto is beyond he has competed in League of Legends tournaments in the past and Etoiles is a close friend of his.

It was revealed several months ago that Kameto is an undercover spy for the Federation but he hasn't logged on in a good while so nothing has come to fruition surrounding that.

AyPierre [French & English] (He / him)

He knows a ton about the mods within the QSMP, showing up and building large factories to store massive amounts of resources, plus a good amount of knowledge surrounding redstone. He likes running things from the shadows and being a supplier of goods and services. Enjoys streaming on the server regularly and has a playful rivalry with Tubbo surrounding create and what they can build. Once upon a time he was dating Max but things ended badly, he seems to regret Max dying before things were at least amicable between them. I am not sure the distinction between the cc and the character, I will leave that up to you if you are curious about his content.

The Ice Prison arrival August 28, 2023

Niki Nihachu [German, Spanish & English speaking] (She / her)

Niki Nihachu is a gifted actor and roleplayer who is close friends with several of the other members of QSMP, a former DSMP member as well and an old friend of several other members. Kind, soft spoken and gentle, she is very open about mental health struggles and provides a safe environment for her community.

In character she is part cat and part human, with white ears poking from her pink hair. Not much has been revealed about her character other than she is fiercely careful surrounding the eggs and is ready to defy figures of authority given any reason. Mother of Empanada, she is close to her fellow mothers as well as other islanders like Tubbo and Philza. At the original spawn her daughter and herself made plans with the Death Family to start a bakery but it is unclear whether those plans still stand where they are living now.

Tubbo_ [English speaker / learning British Sign Language] (He / him)

Energetic to an unhinged amount, he acts like he has consumed about fourteen coffees in thirty seconds but its just so endearing you can't help but tune in. A former member of DSMP and SMP Earth, close friends with Philza, Niki, Quackity, Foolish and Wilbur Soot.

From his day one of the QSMP he has some of the highest playtime between streaming on both his main and alt channel whether it be hanging out with friends or building his thousandth machine. Likes testing the rules and the extent of the servers capabilities, tempting Cucurucho's ire within hours of being on the server leading to him strongly distrusting anyone in power. Assigned a bright and confident egg named SunnySideUp he was alone as a parent in raising her for the first several months, relying on friends nearby such as his fellow Morning Crew to care for her. In character it was recently revealed he is not alive, at least not in the human sense after being forcefully shut down by Richas in a play brawl. Tubbo going offline led to the appearance of Creation, someone who is programmed to protect all the eggs in order of importance starting with Tubbo's daughter Sunny.

IronMouse [English, Spanish, Korean & Japanese speaking] (She / her)

A well known creator for many things including an easily recognisable persona, a beautiful singing voice from many years of perfecting it and an impressive amount of charity work, she is an icon. A gremlin at heart, she was a welcome and surprising addition to the QSMP who I now can't imagine the server without.

Another demon in the lore, she offers advice to her fellow species while being a proud member of her race. With a scream that could shatter eardrums she is willing to claw her way through any obstacle. Wild and free, she is dramatic and fiery with her admiration. Mother of Empanada, she is close to Foolish and was one of the only people he invited to live near him.

Tina Kitten [English / some Korean speaking] (She / her)

Tina Kitten rose to prominence during the era of Among Us playing games with several large creators and becoming a regular content creator. Close to Foolish, she was apart of DSMP up until its conclusion along with Foolish, Badboyhalo and several others.

In character she is a demon who is very secretive about her true race, playing it off like she is human as she seems ashamed of her identity. Interested romantically in another character named Bagi, she makes friends easy but has trouble opening up to others. Mother of Empanada, when she is angry her aggression bursts forth which she attempts to keep at bay as to not scare the others.

Lenay [English & Spanish speaking] (She / her)

Lenay's career is impressive to say the least, a lot of this I am just learning now. Discovered as an actor and hosting a regular show on MTV, she's gone on to have credits in both acting and singing while also being a Youtuber and a Twitch Streamer.

On QSMP she is a rare login but always a delight when that happens, she is the mother of Sunnyside up alongside Pol, Slime and Tubbo. Tubbo crafted this whole lore about her being a mermaid when Sunny discovered one of her mother's bodies floating in a river near original spawn, they have met since but Lenay hasn't logged on past the first day of the soft reset. Married to German irl, they are intent to protect one another during gameplay and often stick close together.

Riversgg [English, Spanish & French speaking] (She / her)

Rivers is a Mexican streamer and Youtuber who has a large list of accomplishments. She is quite sporty including both through soccer and winning a large boxing match plus she owns a restaurant? Basically, the coolest person to ever exist.

Shown to be gifted in player vs player combat, holding her own in Purgatory along with being able to strike up a conversation with anyone around she is a valuable asset to any team. Close allies with Roier and her fellow Spanish speaking creators, she is also the mother of Pepito.

Willyrex [Spanish & English speaking] (He / him)

Willyrex is a famous Spanish Youtube personality and has written a series of books with Vegetta777. His Youtube channel is within the top 100 most subscribed in the world, doing a variety of content. A member of Karmaland alongside other creators such as Vegetta, Quackity, Luzu and Rubius.

Willyrex has a love for explosions, setting mines all over the previous spawn as he moved from place to place. Choosing not to build a house worried it would be destroyed, he has grown close with a few of the egg children during his apperences on the server such as Dapper, Ramon and Tallulah. Wishing to have an egg of his own, he commented on their weakness but grew attached to many of them quickly.

Polispol [Spanish, English & Catalan speaking] (He / him)

A cinematographer and director, he is someone Quackity looks up too. Having a love of film, he has several credits under his name. I admit I don't know the most about him otherwise and there isn't too much online, he seems to have a genuine and kind heart.

Traits that carry over to his character, he is very friendly and enjoys light hearted pranks upon fellow server members. Father of Sunny, they have yet to meet as he has been on break and last I heard the admins were cooking something with his lore but nothings come of that yet.

German [Spanish & English speaking] (He / him)

German has the second most subscribed channel on Youtube in the Spanish language. He is a Youtuber, singer & songwriter, comedian and writer. Married to Lenay, he has many achievements to his name and is well known across the internet including appearing in many Youtube Rewinds.

As a character...there is basically nothing. Tied with DanTDM for how often he has signed onto the server, the only thing to be said is he is protective of his partner Lenay and enjoys exploring the environment around him. He has no egg assigned to him, similar to Willyrex, the only two on the island without children.

The Wheel arrival September 16 & 18th, 2023

Bagi [Portuguese & English speaking] (She / her)

From the lovely lands of Brazil, she is close friends with several other members such as Cellbit, Pac, Mike and Felps. Youtuber and streamer, she is determined and strong.

Descriptors I could also use for the character she plays, willing to wield a weapon against anyone who harms her or those she cares about. Smart and analytical, she has been independently researching into the Federation and her past. Discovering the fact Cellbit is her twin brother, they share many secrets between them after having a heart to heart in their old home on the island. She knows how far her brother is willing to go in his emotional states and supports him regardless even if she doesn't agree with his methods. One of the first person she trusted with the location of her secret base besides her best friend Pac, she is cautious and clever in creating sanctuaries for her family and loved ones. A regular streamer who is considered to be a part of Morning Crew & Friends, many people on the island trust in her and her abilities. Mother of Empanada and Richarylson, she wanted to be a parent from the moment she joined during the time the eggs were missing. When they returned, she gained two children and loves them dearly.

Carre [Spanish / some English & Portuguese fluency] (He / him)

Carre is a Twitch streamer and Youtuber who does a variety of content winning fans over with his charisma and comedy. Coming from a well known series called Tortillaland, he also enjoys dancing and has won and award for it. Prior to joining QSMP it's noted he is friends with Roier, Quackity and ElMariana which reflects in his gameplay on the QSMP.

He is a carefree and social individual, easily getting along even with people he doesn't regularly interact with. He isn't upfront with his caring nature, taking things to heart like when Roier killed him in Purgatory. He was worried about meeting his son Pepito but once he did they grew close quickly, skateboarding all across the server together.

The Third Train February 11, 2024

악어 / Acau [Korean speaking / learning English] (He / him)

The newest member of the server, the first Korean speaking creator he joined recently after the soft reset. Relying entirely on the translator unlike the previous additions, he got along well with people immediately.

Teasing others and taking to parenthood right off the bat of the newest egg 춘식 (pronounced Choo-n-shi-k), many other islanders have offered their help as they complete quests and raid dungeons together. Proficient in PVP, he is quick on his feet and stubborn.

I hope this blog helps you if you are interested, this server is one of the most welcoming and receptive of feedback I have ever seen. Everyone who is white-listed grew close as friends if it wasn't the cause of their reunion, drawing a large community to surround them.

I promise even though the lore can seem overwhelming there are plenty of people who are willing to answer any question you may have. I have loved my time here, I started my journey into MCYT content through DSMP and found a lovely home here while still fondly appreciating my past.

If people want I will come back to edit this to include a portion for the eggs, or maybe I will do a separate post?

Let me know in the tags or replies if you stumble across this post after the poll has been completed.

Anyways, this is Wren signing off, this post took me 3 days to write and please feel free to reply letting me know of any mistakes within the information!

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determinators · 4 months

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Yes, the 4channers were awful and they persist in misgendering me, while simultaneously complaining I don't post anymore, with zero self awareness.

4chan harassment alone isn't why I left. This is.

It's the transphobia.

I have been in the fandom since 2015. I have been arguing with transphobes in the fandom since 2015. I have been making write ups about why it's important not to misgender the - yes, fictional - characters since 2015, because of the complete lack of caring it communicates to real nonbinary people.

Last year, I wrote a post that got 7000 notes and is currently pinned to the Deltarune subreddit. I poured my heart out about what the nonbinary characters meant to me and why they were important.

It was argued over, I was mocked for it, I included personal details about my family situation and my difficulty coming out, I was mocked for it.

I wrote it because I believed it mattered. Because for eight years, the constant comment when mentioning the pronouns of these characters has been: Who cares?

At any point since 2015, Toby could have saved the transgender people in the fandom the trouble of having to "prove" the characters were nonbinary by saying something.

Last year, Legends of Localization comes out - thoroughly reviewed by Toby - and calls Frisk, Monster Kid, and Napstablook "ambiguous", designed to have an unclear gender.

You can see in the collage of screenshots how the transphobes in the fandom took that. One delightful individual was so triumphant over the victory, they put the statement in their Reddit subtitle.

So each time this individual posts to the Undertale subreddit, people will see this quote, carried around like a trophy with all the pride of a dog with a rotting pelt in its mouth. That's how much it meant to the transphobes in the fandom. They're delighted by having this quote to throw back in the faces of transgender fans.

Because who cares? The majority of the fandom isn't transgender, or on tumblr. It's easy for them not to care about transgender people.

You can block block block as many people as you want (I had thousands blocked here) but you can't curate your way out of transphobia. It isn't possible.

Because the majority of the fandom is on Reddit, or YouTube, or Twitter, and they, quite vocally, do not care about transgender people.

Some people may recall that I stopped posting to the Deltarune subreddit after the mods decided to filter all posts containing the word "nonbinary" without telling anyone.

The mods stopped filtering the word after I posted this and apologized, but the point was made: people in the greater fandom think the word "nonbinary" is a dangerous, impolite word, one that only invokes argument and therefore should not be used.

So I stopped posting on the Deltarune and Undertale subreddits. I never made YouTube or Twitter content. I set my blog to only allow people with Tumblr accounts to view it. I turned off all asks, anonymous or otherwise. I blocked thousands of people. It did not work. Transgender people can't curate (read: quarantine) our way out of transphobia.

Years of this, of transgender fans of the series getting attacked for trying to claim and fight for nonbinary representation in the series, and "ambiguous" is the language Toby signed off on.

If the characters are meant to be nonbinary representation, the last eight years has proven that this needs to be stated outright, or the onus of "proving" it falls on the vastly outnumbered transgender fans in the fandom - something that we have never been able to do without being profusely harassed for it until we shut our mouths.

If the characters were only ever meant to be ambiguous for the sake of "freedom of interpretation", then this should have been communicated with seriousness and respect to the transgender fans of the series years ago, not as a throwaway line in a translation book. (and to be clear, this is not at all the author's fault - Toby corrected and reviewed the language used)

This is why I left and why I'm never coming back, no matter what happens next. I have had enough of the transphobia in the fandom, and I have no way of fighting back anymore.

Transphobes in the fandom want the work and the passion of nonbinary people but won't even use a pronoun to show the basest level of respect and humanity for us.

I'm watching our rights being taken away day by day, and people like this just want me to keep producing my worthless little game theory posts.

Trans people don't owe you our "content" or our passion, particularly not when we produce it for free in the face of eight years of a deeply transphobic audience that we are expected to either beg for the most basic respect or to turn our heads down and hide away from so they can continue either hating us or pretending we don't exist or that that part of us doesn't matter.

"Who cares?"

When people ask this in response to talking about being nonbinary or respecting pronouns, they know transgender people care.

What they're saying is, who cares about transgender people?

For this reason, I'm requesting people not archive anything I've written, though I know I can't enforce this. That includes the Character Analysis and the "(Characters) are nonbinary why it matters" post, which I wrote in such profoundly naive good faith. For every "who cares" I have received over eight years of being transgender in this fandom.

If my identity as a nonbinary person doesn't matter, if nonbinary people don't exist, then neither does the content I made which they feel so entitled to, even while misgendering me.

I can't even think about this series without becoming angry and miserable anymore. That is the lasting, final impression the art has had on me. I can't think about it or the characters without remembering how little transgender people matter to most of the world. I've had to completely cut it out my life. There's no rage as potent as the helpless one. "Who cares?" I can't make people care.

You can't have the creations and art and "content" made by transgender people and our destruction at the same time. And maybe you can't prevent our destruction either, but you sure as hell can use a damn pronoun.

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lurkingteapot · 1 year

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Free Thai language learning resources

I’ve been learning Thai for the past 20 months. This list is by no means complete or comprehensive, what works for me doesn’t have to work for you, etc etc. That said: I’ve used most of these and found them useful, I thought you might, too. Have fun!

Youtube channels with free video lessons:

There are tons of wonderful teachers on youtube; this is by no means an exhaustive list. The three channels listed here are comprehensive, long-running, and updated regularly; if you have other favourites, please reblog and append!

Comprehensible Thai is a channel that teaches Thai in Thai, from zero, via the comprehensible input method. They have videos from total beginner through upper intermediate/lower advanced levels available.

Learn Thai with Mod – Mod runs a language school that offers good, structured group classes; she and her co-teachers often upload short videos about specific aspects of Thai. The channel has been around for a long time and they cover a lot of topics, including grammar points.

Thai Lessons by New (Learn Thai one Word one Sentence) – lots of good vocabulary and situational phrases

Other channels I like:

Advanced Thai with Kruu Momm -- one of my favourites, Momm’s a star. Not included in the upper list only because this is definitely more of an intermediate-advanced resource.

Thai with Grace -- I knew of Grace via her polyglot channel and travel vlogs before I realised she also teaches Thai. Fun stuff.

Kat talks Thai -- I believe Kat is more active on instagram (@kattalksthai), but these are still really neat.

Perth Nakhun’s Basic Thai playlist

Honourable mentions because they’re interesting and can be nice supplements (yes, the video titles on these channels tend to be clickbaity, the content is useful, though):

Stu Jay Raj: Stu is a polyglot based in Thailand. His channel is a bit of a mixed bag, but he has a very interesting approach to languages and sometimes does foreign accent reduction / accent analysis sessions on his channel (with consent and participation of those whose speech he dissects).

Thai Talk with Paddy: Paddy is an Australian who learned Thai when he was a volunteer in Thailand, he’s kept it up. Fun things about language learning and culture

Listening comprehension

I’m assuming many folks on here who are interested in Thai already watch some Thai shows (yes I’m stereotyping but also this is tumblr), which means you’re spending time listening to Thai.

If you’re not:

Netflix, Youtube, WeTV, and Viki all have several Thai shows with English subtitles available. The Youtube channel of Thai broadcasting giant GMMTV has English subtitles on nearly all of their uploaded series, some series are also subtitled in languages other than English. one31 is another huge channel; they have English subtitles on some series and some series also have subtitles in Thai. There’s tons more – find a rec list and a Thai show that sounds like you’d enjoy it, chances are you’ll be able to watch it for free, legally, on youtube. You can use the youtube controls (or the ones on netflix) to turn the speed down to 75% —this can make it a lot easier to catch what’s being said. 50% gets so draggy that I personally find it almost harder to understand, but ymmv—give it a shot!

https://lingopolo.org/thai/ has real-life recordings for listening practice; sign-up is required but it’s literally just an e-mail-address, user name and password. Using the site is free.

https://www.activethai.com/ has a section dedicated to learning the tones (under “Overview of Thai Tones”) including a self-test for listening that I found very useful.

Learning to read

I will always, always, ALWAYS recommend learning to read the Thai script. All available romanisations for Thai have drawbacks, and besides, you learned to read English with its “though through thorough tough thought”, you can damn well learn to read Thai. I promise it will help you improve your pronunciation (yes, really) and overall understanding of how the language works.

Learn-to-Read-Thai resources that seem comprehensive and like they should do everything in one:

Anki decks “Read Thai PHASE 1 - The Consonants“, “Read Thai PHASE 2 - Thai Vowels“, “Read Thai PHASE 3 - Consonant Classes” and “Read Thai PHASE 4 - Tone Rules” by Khruu Gaan (ครูกานต์). Anki is probably the most powerful spaced repetition software I have ever used. It’s free on all desktops and android. These decks have sound.

Memrise course “Read Thai: A Complete Guide to Reading Thai“

Other resources I used (In hindsight, I feel like I should’ve picked one resource to learn to read from and stuck with it; I think I was rushing and made things more complicated than need be for myself with my hodgepodge mix-and-match approach. But hey, I can read now.)

https://www.activethai.com/ – the site I started with. Teaches the consonants separated by class and with sound. The only reason this is no longer my top recommendation is that I ended up using this alongside a resource that helped me memorise what the words used to represent the letters actually mean because the site itself didn’t tell me, and I wanted that easy way to have 44 vocabulary words ready as soon as you’re done learning your consonants, and it gives you access to neat mnemonics such as ไก่จิกเด็กตาย(เฎ็กฏาย)บนปากโอ่ง.

The chart on Wikipedia’s English article on the Thai Script

the reference section of Thai-Language.com

In order to better learn to read Thai written in different fonts (modern and handwriting fonts can be tough at first), the Thai Script typographical styles overview on Thai-language.com was a huge help, as was throwing simple phrases things into gdocs and messing around to see how different fonts made them look. This chart from sanukmaak.com also helped.

Speaking and pronunciation

The hardest one for any new language for most folks. For me personally, finding someone who speaks the language and is willing to correct me was an absolute necessity, but I know that’s not always an option. If you’re going it on your own, make sure you check out the resources above for learning to hear the tones and those sounds and sound clusters not present in your own language correctly first.

Things to try on your own:

shadowing: Whenever someone on a show utters a sentence you think might be useful, or provide a useful pattern, or something just sounds cool, rewind and try to speak along as they say it, trying to make it sound as close to their pronunciation as you can.

try to record yourself and listen back -- yes, it’s cringe af but it will HELP.

memorising short sentences and phrases: tying back to the section above, there's a ton of youtube videos that is "phrases to use in [situation]" that are great for targeted learning if you're up for it

self talk (cautiously! don't want to cement bad pronunciation habits)

if you’re linguistically inclined: looking up descriptions on how to make a sound correctly sometimes helps, as does watching videos of folks who’ve successfully learned the language.

once you’ve learned to read: find sentences to read somewhere (twitter, a textbook, whatever) and read them into your phone’s dictation engine. See if the software understands you correctly. Adjust as needed until it does.

Websites and apps to find language partners or (paid) tutors

Like any other app where you ‘meet people’, please exercise caution on these.

italki (mainly for finding tutors and teachers, but you can find language partners on the forums)

Preply (web/app) (for finding tutors/teachers)

hellotalk (app only, iOS/android) for finding language partners -- free to use basic features like messaging, voice rooms, etc; has annoying ads

tandem (app only, iOS/android) for finding language partners -- free to use basic features, has ads

any other app or website that’ll let you meet people, like local facebook groups (yes really), instagram, etc

(note: Neither hellotalk nor tandem allow users to sign up without selecting a binary gender. it sucks. I’ve seen people who managed to circumvent this on Hellotalk by signing up via apple ID (? I think), but it’s hearsay and I have not managed to do so myself.)

Books (a book) that are (is) worth spending money on imo

Higbie & Thinsan: Thai Reference Grammar. The Structure of Spoken Thai. Orchid Press: Bangkok, 2002. Yes, it’s ancient in textbook terms. It’s not perfect, but it’s still the best reference grammar for Thai I’ve come across so far, and I use it frequently.

Random bits and bobs

Stu Jay Raj has two videos in particular that I, as a phonetics-and-phonology-loving person, loved and found extremely useful and wished I’d watched before I started to try and learn the script: Thai Vowels for Dummies in 5 Min v2 - A System Impossible to Forget and Thai Bites Extended Edition - Transliterating Thai using IPA. I realise these may be overwhelming and less helpful for people with no prior phonetics or phonology training, but they helped me so much it’d feel amiss not to include them.

Resources I recommend AGAINST using when starting out

drops/hello words -- seems like their Thai courses have been created using machine translation that wasn’t sufficiently proofread. They will assign you nouns in places of the corresponding verb or false cognates, and that’s within the first 10 or so lessons. Might be useful once the level where a learner can tell “ah, yeah, that’s … not right” has been reached? idk.

transcription as generated by google translate: BURN IT WITH FIRE. it’s a transliteration, i.e. 1-to-1 representation of 1 Thai letter = 1 Latin letter (extended), it’s not phonemic, it’s not going to help ANYONE (and those who can make sense of it presumably already read Thai and would be better off with just Thai script). Just. Stop.

Google translate as a dictionary: still shitty but not AS bad as the transcription function. Still, for the love of all that you hold dear, please, save yourself the pain and confusion and just use thai2english or thai-language.com instead.

---

And that’s that from me, friends. Yeeting this into the void before I second-guess myself more. Please append additional resources!

Edited to fix a couple of typos and errors on 2023-06-15

#thai language #learning thai #ภาษาไทย #เรียนภาษาไทย #Thai from English #language learning #language resource #language learning resource #idk what the hell else to tag this #free education #don't get me started on 'creative' 'free-form' 'by-ear' romanisations; we'll be here all day #my nonsense

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ansu-gurleht · 2 years

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okay here is my beginner’s guide to morrowind! it talks about some of the mechanics you’ll want to know, but it’s also a little bit of a walkthrough to get you a good start on your journey. note that i originally wrote this for somebody specific: i don’t think it does, but if it seems like it’s talking at somebody in particular, that’s why. anyways, i hope this is helpful!

before you start the game:

there is only one mod i absolutely recommend you play with, and it’s not quite a mod at all.

when you download morrowind from steam or gog or whatever, you have the game! congratulations! however, what you really own is the assets of the game and a horribly broken engine. that’s where openmorrowind (openmw) comes in.

openmw is a remake of the original engine of morrowind. you see, morrowind’s original engine fucking sucks. this is for a multitude of reasons, but for me, the reason i switched was because at the later stages of a playthrough, the game will literally start corrupting your saves. don’t have that problem with openmw!

i can’t really give you a guide on how to install it and get it running better than the one on the openmw website (https://openmw.org/en/). go install it and you will have a much smoother experience overall.

before you start a new game:

before we start talking about PLAYING the game, though, let’s also take a peek through the options.

in the first page of the options, “prefs,” you’ll find some things you’ll want to switch on. namely, subtitles, always use best attack, and auto-save on rest. i’m not sure which of these are enabled by default, but enable them all.

in the “controls” section, you’re likely going to want to swap the “activate” and “jump” buttons. for some reason, the default control scheme has “activate” set to “spacebar” and “jump” set to “e”. this is, of course, counterintuitive to anyone who plays modern pc games. go ahead and just swap those around.

in the “video”-“video” section, go ahead and set your game to the highest resolution, and maybe increase the field of view a bit (i play with 75 fov, but you may prefer higher. idr what the default is, probably stupid low). in the “video”-“detail” section, crank up that view distance as high as it’ll go. i’m not sure what the default is, and i’ve fiddled with my set-up to maximize it for openmw. also turn on trilinear texture filtering and the anisotropy to the highest setting. also raise all the “video”-”water” settings to their maximum values. trust me, you can run this. it’s a new engine but the game itself came out in 2002. not the most graphics-intensive game out there.

tutorial and creating your character:

okay, that’s the options out of the way. now let’s hit that “new” button and make a new game.

watch the intro cutscene, talk to jiub, and tell him your character’s name. follow the instructions of the guards until you get to the one who asks you where you’re from. this is how the game asks you for your race. there’s no bad options here - pick whichever race you like best. you can take into account the bonuses each race gets, and compared to later games in the series these bonuses are more significant, but you can really play any character with any race in this game. it’s worth noting, however, that the beast races (argonians and khajiit) can’t wear full helms or boots/shoes. for a first timer, i would probably recommend dunmer (dark elf).

after that, go into the census office. this is where you build your class properly. you CAN take the class quiz, or pick from the premade classes. i would not recommend this. i’ve come up with a custom class that i think covers pretty much all the bases and gives a fairly enjoyable experience for a newcomer:

specialization: magic

attributes: endurance, intelligence

major skills: long blade light armor conjuration restoration marksman / destruction

minor skills: short blade medium armor spear mysticism alteration

now let me explain my choices here, to give you an idea where i’m coming from, and what those choices mean.

your specialization gives you +5 to all nine of the skills that fall under that specialization, and makes those skills increase more quickly. i’m giving you magic because magic skills don’t always increase the fastest, and every little bit helps.

your chosen attributes get +10 each. endurance determines your starting hp, which is obviously important, among other things, such as how much health you gain on level up. intelligence increases your maximum magicka. when you level up, you get to pick three attributes to increase, and depending on what skills you increased to get to your new level, you get multipliers on how much you can increase certain attributes. i recommend always increasing endurance, even if you don’t get a multiplier for it. speed, which affects your, well, speed, and strength, which affects your physical damage done as well as your carry weight, are good choices for leveling up as well. but you can increase other attributes as you think is necessary - i won’t elaborate on what each one does here, you can look it up on uesp.

your major and minor skills are what you need to increase in order to level up your character level. major skills get +25, minor skills get +10.

i always recommend at least one weapon skill and at least one armor skill for your major skills. i’m giving you long blade, bc it’s the most ubiquitous and useful weapon skill in the game, and light armor, bc it’s generally speaking the best armor skill in the game, and is also lighter to carry around as well.

i’m giving you conjuration and restoration bc having a magic skill as a major gives you a starting spell from that school. conjuration gives you bound dagger, which summons a daedric dagger for you to use for 60 seconds (and gives you the requisite skill to use it effectively), and restoration gives you hearth heal, which is a very effective heal, albeit a somewhat costly one to cast.

i’m giving you two options for your last major skill: either marksman or destruction for ranged capabilities. note, however, that marksman is not as good in this game as in later titles, and not all destruction spells are at range. destruction gives you the starting spell fire bite, a decent on touch (melee range) fire spell.

just like you have a weapon skill and armor skill in your major skills, i recommend doing the same thing with your minor skills. so i’m giving you short blade, the second most ubiquitous and useful weapon skill, and medium armor, which is almost as good as light armor, albeit a bit heavier. you can mix and match your armor pieces to great effect in this game, and wearing at least one piece of a type of armor (a medium armor gauntlet, for example) will increase that skill when you get hit.

i’m giving you spear mostly bc it’s a fun weapon to play with, and not in the other games. mysticism is an important skill for a few reasons: 1) telekinesis, which we’ll mostly use to disarm traps from a distance, and 2) teleportation spells like almsivi/divine intervention, which lets you teleport to the nearest tribunal temple or imperial shrine respectively, and mark/recall, the former of which lets you set a point the latter can teleport you to from anywhere. alteration gives you access to a lot of good spells, like feather, shield, levitate, water breathing, water walking, and open.

okay, that’s enough about your class. next you’ll be asked what your birthsign is. i’m going to recommend either the steed, which gives you +25 speed and makes walking around at the beginning of the game more bearable, or the lady, which gives you +25 personality and +25 endurance. up to you whether you value the speed or the endurance more. there are other options, of course, but i think these are best for a first-time player.

okay, after you pick your birthsign and confirm your character, you’re free! kind of. not really yet. you’ll be notified you now have an inventory menu, and instructed to pick up the papers on the table to your right. do so. then, we’re going to do something a little sneaky. on the shelf against the rightmost wall is a limeware platter, which costs like 650 gold. you want that platter. so you’re going to take it. now, you just did this in full view of a guard. but you’re fresh off the boat, so he won’t arrest you - he’ll just confiscate what you stole. BUT, if you drop the platter before he gets to you, he won’t have anything to confiscate. and since YOU dropped it, it’s technically YOURS now, so you can pick it up without any ramifications. congrats! you just got like, 300 gold (note: your mercantile skill affects how much gold you get from selling things. very rarely will you ever get full asking price for anything).

(how do you drop the platter, you may ask? well, to open your menu/inventory, you need to right-click. very counterintuitive, i know. but you’ll get used to it. to drop an item, click it and drag it outside of any of the menus. you can either drop it directly beneath you, which usually happens, or you can place things directly onto surfaces like tables or shelves if you’re close enough to them.)

now you’re expected to go out the door across from the platter shelf. go out, and close the door behind you. there’s nobody in this side of the building, so with the door closed, you’re free to just jack anything you see without ramifications. there’s a lot of ingredients to take, if you want to get into alchemy (which can be useful, for either making beneficial potions or for making a quick buck), but most of what you want is the expensive stuff you’ll find. there’s a book you can take (books can be very expensive in this game), some silverware, a bottle of liquor called flin, a lockpick, and a shitty dagger. you’ll want to sell everything you get here except for the lockpick, and maybe the ingredients if you want to do alchemy. there’s a little chest on the bottom of the shelf by the exit that’s locked. you should be able to pick it with ease with the lockpick you just got, even though your security skill sucks atm. there’s like, 31 gold in there i think? worth taking regardless. to pick the lock, equip the lockpick (click and drag it onto the little portrait of your character in the left of your inventory screen), and “attack” (left-click) over and over while pointing your cursor at the chest until it unlocks. there’s a couple of torches you might want downstairs, as well.

after you’re done looting, leave the building. you’ll find yourself in a little courtyard. the game’ll tell you to look in the barrel by the next door, and take the enchanted ring you find inside. don’t get too attached to this ring. go into the next door and talk to sellus gravius, the guy inside. this is your first real encounter with morrowind’s dialog system. it is not like skyrim’s. at all. get used to it. this weird wikipedia like structure is going to be your best friend. you have a list of all available options on the right, and you can click highlighted options in the text itself. you can talk about whatever to sellus, but you have to say a couple specific things to progress. i can’t remember what it is exactly, but he doesn’t have much to say outside of it, so it shouldn’t be hard to figure out. he’ll give you some money, a package for caius cosades, and a note with instructions on how to find caius cosades. don’t accidentally sell the package. don’t try to open the package. just leave it in your inventory until you’re ready to go find caius.

seyda neen:

after that, you’re free to go! and this time you’re really free, and you can do whatever you want now! but that’s a bit overwhelming, so i’m going to let you know what there is to do in this town, seyda neen.

first off, almost right outside the door there’s a bosmer (wood elf) named fargoth. he’s lost his ring. yes, that ring. give it to him. that’ll earn you better prices with the local merchant, who happens to be fargoth’s friend. don’t worry, if you want the ring, we’ll be getting it back later.

now to go make some money with all the shit we stole. go to arrille’s tradehouse, which is the building with the little raised platform adjacent. the “front” door is locked, it’s actually arrille’s house, so you have to go around on the platform to the real front door. go inside and talk to arrille. in the right pane of the dialog, you’ll see the option to barter with him. click that and get to selling your shit.

here’s what you want to buy with the money you just got (around 500-600 gold). buy all the chitin armor pieces you can. it’s very good light armor for this stage in the game. buy the iron saber for now; you’ll be replacing it soon but you need something, and it’s cheap. buy one of the journeyman’s probes - you need these to disable traps - and one of the journeyman’s lockpicks, since the one you stole from the census office only has 10 uses. buy 3 bottles of sujamma - it’s a regional liquor that gives you +50 strength and -50 intelligence for 60 seconds. it’s VERY powerful for dealing with foes you normally shouldn’t be able to handle at a lower level. note the intelligence drop though: if you need to cast a spell, cast it before you drink the sujamma. buy 2 scrolls of almsivi intervention - like i said earlier, this teleports you to the nearest tribunal temple. lastly, buy 2 scrolls of ondusi’s unhinging. sometimes you need to open something that you just can’t pick with your too-low security skill. that’s where this scroll comes in.

yes, you just spent like, all of the money you just earned. it’s okay. we’re going to make it back and then some, soon.

before you leave arrille’s, go upstairs (behind him). talk to the guy, hrisskar flat-foot, at the top of the stairs. he’ll offer you a topic about recovering gold. he wants you to find out where fargoth (the ring guy) is hiding his gold and valuables. you’re going to help him find it, because YOU want those valuables as well. we’ll get back to this quest later, though.

next, talk to elone, the redguard behind the counter. she’s a scout, which means she knows a lot about the land. you can ask scouts all sorts of interesting questions about geography. but what you want from elone is directions to balmora. ask her about balmora and she’ll give you said directions in the form of a note.

finally, talk to the wizard lookin’ fella in the corner. ask him about the latest rumors. keep in mind what he says about mentor’s ring - we’ll be pursuing this later.

now, let’s make sure we equip all the armor and weapon we just bought. right-click to bring up your inventory/stats/map/magic menu, click on each piece of armor and weapon, and drag them onto the little portrait of your character to the left. that’s it! you’re equipped and ready to face the wilderness.

the wilderness, plus notes on combat:

leave arrille’s tradehouse from the door you came in from. jump off the corner of the platform into the water below, and cross that little river, heading west. on the far shore, you’ll find your first foe: a mudcrab! very scaaaaary! this is your introduction to combat. it works a little differently in this game. first of all, just because you SEE your weapon connect with an enemy, doesn’t mean it’s going to HIT necessarily. this game plays off of dice-rolls, and a lot of factors contribute to whether or not you’re gonna actually do damage. but the two most important factors are: 1) your level of skill with the weapon you’re using, and 2) your fatigue. that’s the green bar in the bottom left of your screen, what you’d call in skyrim your “stamina”. if your fatigue is low when you enter an encounter, you’re going to really struggle to fight!

here’s a somewhat annoying thing about fatigue: running at full speed diminishes it! so when you’re out in the wilderness, you’re going to want to conserve your fatigue by walking. it’s slow, but hopefully bearably so if you picked the steed as your birthsign. and it’s better than dying to a mudcrab because you were too tired to properly swing your weapon.

fortunately, there’s this thing called resting! if you’re out in the wilderness, you can press “t” to rest for as long as you’d like, or “until healed” (until your hp, magicka, and fatigue are completely restored). unfortunately, this close to seyda neen, you can only “wait” - all this does is restore your fatigue. it’s illegal to rest inside of most settlements, or even in their outskirts.

anyways, hopefully you’ve completely dominated that first mudcrab of yours. should go down in one hit, so long as you can connect. another thing to note: you may have noticed when you bought your saber that its damage stats are ranges. for instance, its chop stat (the one you’ll be using with your “always use best attack” enabled) is 5-18. to maximize your damage on the high end of that range, you’ll need to hold down your click for a second or so to wind up the attack. you’ll do a lot more damage this way rather than just mashing left mouse button!

anyways, after you’ve gotten your first kill, proceed along the coast, making sure to head between the rocks just up the way. you’ll find either a rat or a kwama forager (worm thing), and that’s how you know you’re going the right way. it’ll attack on sight, but there’ll be another critter there, a little grey insect looking thing called a “scrib” that thumps its tail on the ground and squeals. it’s not going to attack you when you get close, so don’t attack it. be nice. it’s just a little guy! if you do decide to attack it, though, you might be in for a nasty surprise: it has a paralyzing bite! a scrib can really catch you off guard at this low level. so leave the little guy alone!

across from the scrib, to the left, you’ll find a corpse. if you’ve been talking to the residents of seyda neen (i highly recommend you do) you may have heard that the local tax collector is missing. this is him. take the tax record and 200 gold from him. let’s read the tax record! to read any note or book from your inventory, click and drag it over your character portrait! this is really how you interact with anything in your inventory. note who has the highest unpaid tax to find a motive, but we’ll get back to that later. we’ve got some other stuff to do in the swamp.

proceed northwest, killing any little critters (except scribs!) that get in your way. pretty quick you’ll find yourself with a mountain on your right and the ocean on your left. follow the coast along those mountains. you’re going to find pretty quick a weird looking door on your right. that’s an ancestral tomb door! they all look like that. make a note of where this is, we’re coming back to it. keep progressing along the coast.

eventually you’ll find a little shipwreck. yes, that’s a ship, albeit a local, kinda weird-looking one. just before you get to the ship itself, there’ll be a chest next to a log that’s sticking up out of the water. there’s a silver longsword in there! take it, it’s your new weapon of choice, slightly better than your saber. now let’s explore the ship! get on board and take the trapdoor down to your right. at the end of the interior, next to the next trapdoor down, there’s a crate in the water with moon sugar in it! you may be familiar with skooma, the narcotic? moon sugar is what it’s made from. it’s very valuable, but also very illegal, so we’re going to have to be careful with how we sell it. we’ll get to that eventually.

take the trapdoor further down, and immediately swim up, bc you’re gonna be underwater! at the end of this section of the ship, you’ll find a little chest on the floor with 3 diamonds in it! woohoo! now let’s get out of here, that skeleton’s freaking me out. there’s nothing of note in the cabin section of the ship, so don’t worry about it. let’s go back to that tomb!

samarys ancestral tomb:

okay, right outside the tomb, SAVE! you need to save a LOT in this game if you want to make progress! i recommend having multiple running saves going as well as your quicksave. my most recent playthrough has 5 different saves that i cycle through. it’s a good way to make sure you don’t get stuck in untenable positions! make sure you have your silver longsword equipped and head on in.

once you’re in, open the door right across from you. in the next chamber, you’ll see these little raised things with jars on them. those jars have dead people in them! you don’t really want what’s in those jars, though - you want what’s next to them. always check next to these jars in ancestral tombs for valuables. most of the time it’s just clothes or ingredients, but sometimes, like in the case of the first jar on the right, there’s valuable scrolls! take it, and proceed down the corridor and turn right.

here’s your first challenge! a ghost! this is why we got the silver longsword first, because only silver weapons (or higher quality) or enchanted weapons can actually hit ghosts! this ghost knows a nasty little fire spell that can do quite a bit of damage if you don’t kill him quickly. just keep up your consistent, charged hits until he goes down. across from the entrance to this chamber is another jar-plinth with another scroll, this time an offensive one! take it, it might prove useful. save again!

on the other side of the next door is either a greater challenge or an even greater challenge. sometimes it’s just a skeleton, and sometimes it’s a lesser bonewalker, which can be very dangerous! take him down as quickly as you can, because bonewalkers often know very detrimental curses that can lower your attributes. save again after you kill it!

next, you want to disarm the trap on that urn in the bonewalker room. equip your journeyman’s probe and start clicking on that urn, just like you did with the chest in the census office! once the trap is disarmed, take mentor’s ring! told you we were gonna get that. it’s a very useful ring that increases your intelligence and willpower by 10 points each. go ahead and equip that. there’s a weird named ash in the urn, and a key to the chest next to it, but don’t bother. the chest never has anything valuable in it. don’t forget to reequip your silver longsword after you disarm the trap!

speaking of, here’s another little tip. press f1. this gives you the quick-select menu, where you can assign items or spells to your number keys. i’d put your main weapon (right now the silver longsword) on number 1, then put your most used spells on the next few numbers, in whatever order or fashion you prefer. makes swapping between items and spells much easier.

heading back to seyda neen:

leave the tomb and hug the mountains going east until you hit the road. then follow the road east some more until you see a man fall from the sky. yes, that just happened. he’s dead and free-game, so let’s loot him. take his nice enchanted sword (it’s slightly better than your current weapon, so long as it has a charge), equip his nice conical hat, and either equip his robes and shoes (you can wear robes over your equipped armor in this game! isn’t that so cool) or take them to sell later. take any gold he might have on him, and take those weird “scrolls of icarian flight” he has. do NOT use those scrolls. sell them. you will DIE if you try to use those scrolls. also, take a gander at his journal underneath him, and then take it to sell as well.

alright, from here, follow the road east and south back to seyda neen. let’s head back to arrille’s to sell some of the stuff we got. note that you are now carrying moon sugar, which as i said, is illegal. honest merchants won’t trade with you if you have moon sugar or skooma in your inventory. we’ll find some dishonest merchants later, don’t worry. but for now, you’ll have to simply drop the moon sugar on the floor before you start selling. don’t forget to pick it up when you’re done!

next, remember that guy you noted from the tax record, the one with the highest unpaid tax? we’re going to pay him a visit, ask what happened to the tax collector. i won’t tell you where he is; check the houses around seyda neen until you find the one with his name on the door. before you go in, save, and make sure your fatigue is up.

talk to him. he’ll confess to killing the tax collector, giving you the option of letting him go, or doing justice right then and there. do the justice. he’ll immediately attack you - with his fists. this might not sound scary to you at first. in later games, hand-to-hand combat merely does a little bit of damage to your health. in this game, hand-to-hand hits do damage to FATIGUE. and remember how important fatigue is? it affects everything, from physical combat to your chance at casting spells. so you’re gonna wanna take this guy down before he does too much damage to your fatigue. if your fatigue reaches zero, you get knocked out, falling to the floor. at this stage, hand-to-hand hits actually do damage to your HEALTH. and it’s easy to get trapped in a loop of getting knocked down. so don’t let that happen and kill him quickly. this fight is probably actually harder than the bonewalker, since this guy does a lot of damage to your fatigue with each hit, and you’re draining your own fatigue by swinging at him. but keep up with your consistent charged hits and you should be able to take him down.

be sure to take the ring he’s wearing! it’ll come in handy later. then loot the place - it’s effectively your house now, a decent starter shack. especially important is the book on the floor, which is a skill book increasing your mercantile skill, and sells for a pretty penny. there’s also some ingredients in the various barrels and sacks, if you’re into alchemy.

next, let’s go back to the census office. yes, the place you started at. talk to the old dude who set up your class and birthsign. there’ll be an option to report the murder. do so, and he’ll give you 500 gold. nice!

next, head on to the lighthouse on the coast. you should be able to see it from anywhere in seyda neen. step inside and talk to the lady immediately on your right. ask her about the ring you picked up from the murderer and she’ll give you two pretty high-quality healing potions! nice. now, head upstairs. there’s a very valuable book at the top you can take (the lady downstairs can’t see you now) which increases your unarmored skill.

now head outside to the top of the lighthouse. stand at the corner facing the rest of the town, and wait until 10pm. if you’ve spent a lot of time resting/waiting, you might have missed your first 10pm, and will have to wait almost a day for the next one. don’t worry about it, you don’t have a time limit. now watch that little torch-wielding gremlin fargoth crawl around for a little bit. he’ll make a few stops along his way, but don’t worry, he can’t see you from up here (even though he does approach and stop in front of the lighthouse at one point). eventually he’ll stop by a tree-stump in a mucky pool - that’s where you need to go. once he walks away from there, head back down the lighthouse and go there. inside the stump you’ll find a bunch of gold, fargoth’s old healing ring, and a nice lockpick. take it all.

now, hrisskar wanted you to return with the money so he could split you a cut. instead, we’re just going to never talk to him again and keep all the money. there’s no repercussions for this at all, unless you’re a completionist who wants to finish every quest completely. but there’s not really a tracker for your completed quests, so it doesn’t really matter.

one last thing to do in seyda neen. we’re going to talk to an altmer (high elf) named eldafire. she can usually be found across the bridge towards the silt strider (the big bug thing you probably saw when you got off the boat), although she tends to roam a bit. ask her for a little advice. she’ll recommend you take out the bandits in the addamasartus cave nearby. let’s do that.

addamasartus cave:

the cave is right across from the silt strider landing, hiding behind a big boulder. save and rest until healed right outside the cave, then head on in. the first enemy shouldn’t be much of a problem to you at this point. she should go down in a few hits, and not get much of a chance to hurt you. take any valuables she might have, especially the addamasartus slave key.

the next enemy, who is beyond the door down to the right, is going to be much more challenging. he’s a mage who will cast a weakness to fire spell at you, and then cast a fire spell at you. you’re a dunmer, so you have some resistance to fire, but this guy can still fuck you up if you’re not careful. try to dodge his spells until he runs out of magicka and is forced to attack you in melee. or be brave and try to take some swings as you dodge. up to you. don’t be surprised if he kills you a time or two - he’s pretty tough. if you need to, go outside (or close to the front door) to rest to heal your wounds after he’s dead. or before he’s dead - no shame in running to fight another day.

okay, now that the hard part is done, we can explore the rest of the cave. go down the stairs to where that mage came from, and turn left when you get to the water. there’ll be another enemy, this one throwing throwing-stars at you. you can try to dodge them - they’re kind of small so it’s difficult to see them - or you can just tank the hits as you rush her down. they don’t do much damage. she’ll go down pretty easy, too. she’ll have a lockpick and probe - take them. if you picked marksman as your ranged skill, you can take the throwing stars as well, although they’re not as effective as a bow would be.

now, loot the room - the crates, sacks, chests, etc. the crates near where the throwing-star lady was should have a total of 8 moon sugar and 2 bottles of skooma in them. the chest will have a random leveled item (that is, an item suited to your level) - you might get lucky with this! in my test run, i got a steel daikatana, which is better than my silver longsword (except against ghosts). don’t forget the crates and barrel over by the water! sometimes the crates can have scrolls, potions, or soul gems in them.

next, go behind the rocks to the left of where the throwing-star lady was. you’ll find a door the slave key will unlock. on the other side of the door you’ll find a little stretch of water. at one point you’ll have to dive under to get to the next chamber - just watch your breath meter! but you shouldn’t have a problem, it’s not a very long dive. at the bottom of the water in the next chamber, you might be able to find a skull to the right. if not, don’t worry about it! but there is a rising force (levitation) potion right next to the skull. don’t drown yourself looking for it though, it’s not that important.

in this chamber, you’ll see a spiral pathway rising out of the water. find where you can clamber onto the pathway and follow it up. there’ll be a rat up there - but nothing you can’t handle. up there you’ll also find some glowing mushrooms. in between them there’s a few pieces of gold, a netch leather pauldron (don’t worry too much about that part - your chitin pauldron is better), and the important part, a “thief ring”! it’ll give you a decent buff when you need it. it’s a little tricky to see against the stone floor of the cave, but try your best to find it.

follow the rest of the passage until you come out near the beginning of the cave. you may have wondered why we went down (to where the mage was) instead of up to where there was a door earlier. we’re going to go up there now. your addamasartus slave key will open the door, and you’ll find two argonian slaves and a khajiit slave. talk to them and offer to let them go free, and unlock their bracers. congrats, you’re an abolitionist now! the game tracks how many slaves you’ve freed for a hidden faction you’ll find eventually. you need to free quite a few to join that faction, so try to free every one you can if you want to join.

now you’re done with addamasartus! feel free to leave. we’re done with seyda neen, now, as well, unless you want to head by arrille’s first to sell off some stuff before you leave. don’t forget to drop your moon sugar and skooma before you barter, and then don’t forget to pick it up before you leave!

onward!:

next stop, balmora, where the imperials wanted you to go. there’s a couple of ways we can get there. the first and easiest is to just hire a silt strider to take you there. those big bug things are basically giant buses, and they have routes all over the western half of the island. but i recommend you walk to balmora, following the directions elone the scout gave you. a big part of this game is exploration, and you’d better get used to it quick. don’t be afraid to get a little sidetracked here and there. explore the occasional cave or mine or tomb on your way - but always save before entering one, and know your limits. the dungeons in this game are largely not leveled to you, and if you enter the wrong one too early, it can really ruin your day. so don’t be afraid to turn around and leave, or load the save you made before entering, if things get too tough.

there’s a little town called pelagiad between seyda neen and balmora. feel free to stop there to restock if you need to. otherwise, just follow the road signs and elone’s directions. you’ll get to balmora in no time. and don’t forget! conserve your fatigue. you don’t want to be running everywhere, run out of fatigue, and then run into even a basic enemy you suddenly can’t handle because you can’t connect any of your hits.

once you get to balmora, go to the south wall cornerclub like you were told in your directions to caius cosades, and ask around to find out where caius lives. i’m not going to hold your hand on quest instructions any more! figure it out on your own. it’s not too hard, so long as you just remember to talk to people about important topics - usually “latest rumors,” “little secret,” “little advice,” and “morrowind lore.” but peruse the other topics, too! you might learn something about the people and place you’re in.

before caius gives you your first official orders, he’ll tell you to join a guild to establish a cover identity. there’s a lot of factions in this game you can join. you’ve got the imperial guilds: the fighter’s guild, the mage’s guild, and the thieves’ guild; the morag tong (essentially the dark brotherhood of this game, but a bit different flavor-wise, as well as in how it works); the religious guilds: the tribunal temple and the imperial cult; the imperial legion; and the great houses: house redoran, house hlaalu, and house telvanni. i won’t go into detail about all of these, but i will mention a few.

factions, and a bit on fast travel:

even if you don’t plan on playing through the questline, i recommend joining the mage’s guild. it gives you a couple of invaluable services: spellmaking, enchanting, and the guild guide. the first is self-explanatory: it lets you use any magic effects you’ve already learned to make custom spells from them. enchanting as a service is what it sounds like - you pay somebody to enchant items for you (you still need to bring a filled soul-gem, though). the guild guide is probably the most important, however. basically, it’s a teleportation service between the mage’s guilds of vvardenfell.

morrowind doesn’t have a fast travel system per se, but there are quicker ways to get around than just walking everywhere. we’ve mentioned the spells that can do this, like almsivi/divine intervention and mark/recall. but you can also take the bus (silt strider) across most of western vvardenfell, or a boat across most of eastern vvardenfell. but those two systems are largely disconnected; the only real way to trade off is to silt strider to vivec, walk (or divine intervention) to ebonheart, then take a boat to sadrith mora or tel branora, or vice versa.

but the mage’s guild guild guide solves this problem rather nicely! you can teleport from anywhere in the west to sadrith mora in the east much more quickly than the silt strider-boat trade off in vivec and ebonheart. so join the mage’s guild, i’m serious.

the only other factions i’m going to mention are the houses. they’re very important, and you’re going to want to join one. and only one, i might add - once you join one, you’re locked into it. so make your choice wisely. here’s a brief description of each house:

house redoran is a house of noble warriors, whose capital is ald’ruhn, literally inside the hollowed out remains of an ancient giant crab. they are most favored by the local warrior-poet god, vivec, and most of the buoyant armigers (vivec’s personal army) are from redoran.

house hlaalu is a house of sneaky merchants, whose capital is balmora. they’re the most closely affiliated house to the empire, whereas the other two are distrustful of the empire - and therefore distrustful of house hlaalu.

house telvanni is a house of arrogant wizards, whose capital is sadrith mora (literally translates to “mushroom forest”). they live in settlements built around giant fungal wizard towers, and are most distant and distrustful of the new forces (like the empire) in vvardenfell. they’re also most likely to own slaves, although they will accept argonian and khajiit as members all the same.

there is a bit of a disparity when it comes to the rewards you get from quests from these houses. telvanni gifts you with powerful spells and enchanted items; hlaalu gives you gold; redoran gives you, um. “honor.” which doesn’t sell for much in this economy. that might affect your decision here, but really, choose whichever faction appeals to you most. you’ll be able to get your hands on lots of money and powerful artifacts regardless of which house you choose.

i think that’s about all you really need to know to get started in this game! really, the best piece of advice i can give you is: take your time. take in the atmosphere, the lore, the books, the dialog. absorb yourself into this game and you will have the most amazing experience with it, i think. if you have any questions, let me know!

P.S. i’m going to add things to the end of this as i think of them:

a lot of the time, you’re going to run into people you need information from who won’t give it to you. every npc has a disposition stat, basically how much they like you, and if it’s too low, they won’t discuss certain topics. there’s a few ways to increase their disposition. 1) use the speechcraft skill to admire, intimidate, or taunt the npc. (taunting actually serves a different purpose to the other two, but we’ll get to that shortly.) 2) use a spell, namely the “charm” effect from the illusion school of magic, to temporarily raise their disposition with you. 3) increase your personality attribute, like with telvanni bug musk (always a good item to have around). and 4) bribe the hell out of them. you can bribe in 10 gold, 100 gold, and 1000 gold increments. 100 gold tends to be the most efficient way to bribe, and most people will open up to you after about 200 gold spent this way. money isn’t exactly difficult to come by in this game, especially after the first few levels, so this greasing of the wheels of commerce won’t hurt your wallet too much.

okay, that’s about how to increase a npc’s disposition. how about the scenario where you need (or want) to kill an npc without getting a bounty on your head? simple: either 1) take them out into the wilderness where there are no witnesses (this only works in cases where you can get this person to follow you, such as by using the conjuration school’s “command humanoid” effect), 2) use the “frenzy humanoid” effect from the illusion school to get them to attack you (this shouldn’t trigger a bounty, or for their friends to attack you as well), or 3) “taunting” them to get them to attack you. if your speechcraft is low, this will take many tries, because most of the time your attempt to taunt will fail, and also because it generally takes several successful taunts to get an npc to actually attack you. but you don’t have to worry about using a spell this way, and if you’re patient it’ll work out just the same.

another thing to note: if you’re on an assignment from the morag tong to kill somebody, you’ll get what’s called a “writ” with their name on it. the morag tong, unlike the dark brotherhood, is a government-sanctioned entity - using the tong to have someone killed is completely legal. this writ is your permission to kill that person. you don’t have to worry about incurring a bounty when you have a writ - you can just straight up merk somebody in broad daylight. watch out, though - sometimes that person’s nearby friends will attack you too. most of the time, though, although they might shout about it, nobody will report the crime. if somebody does, expect to be approached by a guard. in that instance, just present your writ to them, and they’ll be forced to let you go. (if this appeals to you, consider joining the morag tong. although every major city has a morag tong chapterhouse, you can only join the tong from the headquarters in vivec city. i won’t tell you exactly where those headquarters are in vivec - it’s actually fun trying to figure out on your own. just ask around and you’ll figure it out.)

okay, i forgot to mention. once you’ve leveled up your major or minor skills 10 times (repeats of the same skill count as well), you’ll get a notification saying it’s time to level up. to do this, you need to sleep in a bed. simply resting won’t do it. you need some kind of bed. make sure it’s a bed you’re allowed to sleep in! i recommend saving before trying to sleep in a bed. sometimes you’ll find a bed in like a mages guild and assume it’s free game but it’s actually someone in particular’s bed and you get expelled from the guild for trying to sleep in it. not a fun time.

since you’ll have the goty edition of the game, you’ll have tribunal enabled. that means sometimes when you rest you’ll get attacked by a dark brotherhood assassin. they’re not too tough, though, and they have very useful and very expensive armor and usually a decent weapon. if you want the attacks to stop, talk to a guard about them. but why would you, it’s free money.

i forgot to mention in the main body of this guide, but there are only a handful of places where you can pawn off your skooma and moonsugar. there are two in balmora: there is ajira, the resident alchemist of the balmora mage’s guild, and ra’virr, a merchant whose store is right next to the mage’s guild. in general, if a merchant is a khajiit, and normally deals in ingredients or potions, they’re likely to buy skooma and moonsugar.

another thing: you do have a journal! your character automatically records most important information in it about your quests. now, this is an actual journal, with entries in chronological order. so it can be difficult to find relevant information by just looking through it normally. if you have the goty edition (which you should) you have the option to categorize by topic and quest! should be a button on the right. not all quests are marked, but most are.

#morrowind #the elder scrolls #tes #tes 3 #tes 3 morrowind #tesblr #please play this game #guide

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rrcraft-and-lore · 2 months

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Monkey Man and why I loved the heck out of it

At it's core, it's a Bollywood flick presented to the West with familiar nods to previous action films - I definitely picked up hints of Tony Jaa's influence on Asian action flicks throughout.

It's heavily focused on police corruption, something commented a lot about in India, and here, more importantly, Indian films. Just like America has its love affair with mobster flicks, Bollywood has a long history featuring films that showcase police corruption, sometimes tied into political extremism, fanatical or greedy religious leaders, and Monkey Man comments on all this as well and pays nods to that commonality. We've got televangelists and religious leaders in the states funnelling money, preaching prosperity gospel, and using it to influence politics and fund lavish lifestyles here.

Monkey Man shows this happening in India, and is filled with Indian culture and symbolism through out. The focus on Hanuman, the god and one worshiped by the strong, chaste, wrestlers, champions, and fighters. It's a common thing to have a household deity if you will. Some families might choose to focus worship on Ganesh, others Hanuman, some might do Mata Rani or Lakshmi. Here, it's the divine Vanara (monkey people race) - one of the Chiranjivi - immortals/forever-lived.

Hanuman. Themes of rebirth, common in South Asian history and mythology are present from Kid being a ringer, beat up fighter getting whooped for money to being reborn and facing his trauma through a ritual/meditate process that I don't want to get too much into to not spoil the movie. Post that, he begins his own self alchemy to really become the true Monkey Man. Nods to Ramayama, and an unapologetically Indian story featuring dialogues throughout in Hindi - don't worry, there are subtitles.

And of course a love for action flicks before it, all the way back to Bruce Lee. A beautiful use tbh of an autorickshaw (and you might know them as tuk-tuks in Thailand) which are popular in India with an added kick...I swear, that thing had to be modified with a hayabusa motor. Which is an actual thing people do - modding those dinky rickshaws with motorcycle engines, and considering they weigh nothing at all, they can REALLY FLY once you do that.

Monkey Man brings to the big screen other elements of India people might not know about, such as the gender non conforming and trans community that has a long history in India, presenting them as action stars as they go up against a system of corrupt elites oppressing part of the city, marginalized communities, and minority voices as depicted in the film. I'm not sure if people are going to get all of that without having the context, but I love that it does it without holding anyone's hands.

It's a fun action flick to see in the age of superhero films, and I say that as an obvious superhero/sff nerd. Also loved that Dev included a little bit about Hanuman's own story in the film, and the loss of his powers - almost mirrored by Kid's own loss of self/skills, strength until he confronts his trauma and is reborn, and in fact, remade (not necessarily the same). Also, the use of music was brilliant, including one scene with a tabla (the paired hand drums of south asia) - and Indian music is central to Indian stories.

This is a culture with evidence going back to the Paleolithic with cave murals showing art of Indian dance nearly 30,000 years ago. Yeah, that far back. As well as Mesolithic period art depicting musical instruments such as gongs, lyres, and more.

Indian music is some of the earliest we can find that has high developed beat and rhythm structures such as 5, 7, 9 and now the extremely common and known 4/4 and 3/4 - which so much of Western music is built upon. The foundations and experimentation of/in Jazz. John Coltrane and John Cage were heavily inspired by Indian music and incorporated a lot from it into their works. And Monkey Man blends Eastern and Western music through the narrative as comfortably as it does an Indian story in a very familiar Western accessible structure.

Dev did a wonderful job. And thanks to Jordan Peele for bringing it to screens.

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paused-waterfall · 6 months

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I can listen to 3 non-native English speakers improv'ing on self-installed mics through a minecraft proximity chat mod, only seeing the face of one speaker, and fully understand the conversation. Meanwhile if I watch a high-budget movie with actors speaking directly to camera with my hometown accent, I need subtitles to know wtf they're talking about.

I guess having thousands of people ready to pester you in real time if your audio setup is bad is more effective than whatever system Hollywood has going on.

#qsmp #mcyt

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patricia-taxxon · 10 months

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Notes on Marble It Up: Ultra so far:

it's an improvement in many respects, but not in a super interesting way that'd be worth going over in a video

i am delighted by the way some concepts from platinum & marble blast's general modding sphere made it in, like the bouncy floor & giving some entities bigger hitboxes (but not by just making them huge this time)

i am also amused by the multiple reimaginings of concepts from marble blast gold, like Seige and the mobius strip level, especially cus they're actually fun this time

the physics are identical, going fast still feels great, precision segments still feel out of place, i still believe the perfect 3D precision platformer is out there somewhere and Phil's levels in marble blast platinum are still the best this concept has ever been

i encountered many annoying bugs, powerups & gems will sometimes become invisible and some levels have broken checkpoints. the frame rate drops i complained about seems to have been fixed by disabling my VPN (???)

i am disappointed that the "ultra" subtitle didn't come with an aesthetic reimagining on the same level as marble blast ultra, where even recycled levels felt new.

i am uninterested in multiplayer and haven't tried it yet

#patty taxxon art thoughts #marble it up #cilantromixture

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skitteringupyourwalls · 7 months

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how many blogs do you need bruh 😭

[ I still haven't made the Hollow Knight au one ]

[ So ATLEAST fifteen ]

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #glitchedanswers #[ the mod has subtitles ]

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kassandra-the-witch · 11 months

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Trying to make sense of Umineko while playing it for the first time, essay post-Ep1: The Beatrice lies in the details

0. On games, interactivity, roulette, and chess, or: how to lose at Umineko

Umineko no Naku Koro ni, commonly translated as Umineko: When they cry, also translated as Umineko: When the seagulls cry, also abbreviated as Umineko, also subtitled (I think?) Rondo of the Witch and Reasoning, is a visual novel series originally released between 2007 and 2010 by the group 07th Expansion, under the influential authorship of Ryukishi07, also abbreviated Ryukishi in fandom discussions. Umineko might best be classified as a story[i]. As far as the medium goes, Umineko has, as far as I understand, existed in form of an online visual novel, a PS3 game, a manga, a downloadable visual novel, and an anime, if not more. And yet, as I experience Umineko, I have paid for it and downloaded it from Steam, as well as having installed a massive and wonderful total conversion mod on top of it. The question of “what is a game” is an esoteric one, one that renders “is Umineko a game” absurdly unanswerable. But while categorizing Umineko as a game or not a game is difficult, it is easy to see that Umineko has a loaded allegorical relationship to game(s).

In Episode 1 of Umineko, Legend of the Golden Witch (to be called Ep1 from now on), two different games are brought to the table regularly, both as metaphors and games characters play: chess and roulette. Chess and roulette are very different games, almost diametrically opposite. Chess is a game in which every move can be calculated, at least in theory. While such computers are yet to be created, a computer with sufficient capacity of calculating could simulate every possible chess game, always know a certain path to victory. Humans are incapable of knowing every single possible chess game at once. Humans playing chess at a high level memorize and execute cyclical patterns and try to guide their opponent(s) into patterns and cycles they are unfamiliar with. Despite having no randomness involved, despite seeming predetermined every time, chess is a fascinating and very human game to play. And, indeed, a lot of the humans (and witches) in Umineko Ep1 play chess. When Ushiromiya Kinzo asks his resident doctor and old friend how long he still has to live in the prelude, the doctor points to a chess game they are playing to establish a metaphor. When trying to solve the death of his parents as a crime, Ushiromiya Battler turns to chess and the repeating idea of “spinning around the chessboard” to find the culprit. Who plays chess against whom and with what level of skill is a motive and allegorical theme repeated over and over and over again in Umineko Ep1.

While no character in Umineko Ep1 plays an actual game of roulette, roulette is also a repeated motive in this story. Roulette is random or not random depending on a complex philosophical debate around determinism – but on a well-designed roulette table, no human or computer is able to tell the outcome of a spin of the wheel. To many minor factors, like air flow, friction of minute surfaces, gravitational pulls, and rotational momentum make roulette highly random. In Umineko Ep1, the so-called demon’s roulette is a repeated motive pertaining to the potentially supernatural violence that characters are subjected to as the deaths and murders commence, as well as an allegory for capitalism. One character in Umineko Ep1, a child servant by the name of Kanon, wants to withdraw from this seemingly randomized violence of the demon’s roulette by explaining that he will become the unforeseen variable in this roulette game, the Zero, neither red nor black on the roulette wheel, and therefore a gamble to bet on. I do not know a lot about roulette, but if I recall correctly, the Zero is part of roulette not as a game-breaking but game-enabling mechanism; through the Zero, the house has a statistical edge on a longer and longer series of roulette games.

Be that is it may, both games are referenced and loaded with meaning in Umineko Ep1. Chess, not random and a clash of human minds, versus roulette, totally random, a game of chance without reason; this opens a spectrum through which to categorize any other game. Some characters as well as some of the menus in Umineko Ep1, particularly Lady Bernkastel in the second-order frame narrative, urge the players/readers/player-readers to treat Umineko as a game of chess, one with pieces, invalid and valid, better and worse moves. This framing of Umineko as a chess-like game implies that Umineko could be solved. The question is what it means to solve Umineko. Umineko happens. It happens to the player-reader. The player-reader cannot change the story on any level of the story. Sure, in the first-order and second-order frame narratives, the player-reader can choose to turn the descriptions of characters in the menu that functions as a dramatis personae to their respective dead or alive states, which reflects what happens when the dramatis personae updates during the happenings of the embedded narrative. But toggling states in the dramatis personae doesn’t change anything; the player-reader but sees different text describing characters. Beatrice’s entry into the dramatis personae in the first-order and second-order frame narratives even taunts the player-reader with their powerlessness, the inability to interact, when you try to set Beatrice’s entry to dead. If Umineko is a game, it is not played within the mechanics of the software. Umineko is, if even playable in the first place, played metatextually. Presenting itself on the outset as a murder mystery, solving Umineko means unravelling its mysteries as it progresses. There is no apparent win-or-lose condition to Umineko.

And yet, one does not simply commit to a story as massive and complex as Umineko without prior knowledge of it. I got into Umineko because of @siphonophorus/Ozaawa’s obsession with it. Ozaawa is a cherished discord friend, who has had Beatrice as their profile picture ever since I can remember. I had started Umineko Ep1 with multiple spoilers in mind, such as: “There is a long time loop”, “Beatrice is really queer”, “people die and get resurrected over and over again”, “magic somehow is and isn’t real at the same time”, and “the narrative structure is a mess”. But the most intriguing piece of knowledge is as follows: “you can solve a lot Umineko from very early on”. Apparently someone in the fandom named pochapal had solved large pieces of the puzzle very very early on in the course of the story. Now, since Umineko urges you to treat it as chess, there is an analogy that immediately sprung to my mind: There are ways to checkmate someone in chess in the least possible amount of moves, a common one of these strategies being called a scholar’s mate. Four moves by the player controlling the white pieces lead, under ideal circumstances, to a checkmate and victory. Without knowing the solution to Umineko, you can meaningfully solve Umineko in a (relatively) short amount of story. I call this idea Umineko’s scholar’s mate. I want to explore this possibility, one of the primary reasons why I am writing this essay and plan on writing more of them in the future; to solve as much as I think I can after every episode. Writing this essay is me playing Umineko (I think). There is however a massive problem to me being obsessed with Umineko’s scholar’s mate; namely, that I suck absolute ass at chess and detective/murder mysteries. I am also rather mediocre at literary analysis, and cannot call myself a literary scholar in a great capacity. Congratulations to pochapal for doing Umineko’s scholar’s mate or at least coming close to that, I will not be able to reproduce that achievement. I have invested roughly 31 hours into Ep1 and I still do not know where to start solving the epitaph or who was killed how by whom. I am a historian, and that is about the range of my expertise. I almost did not write this essay and had been moving into Ep2 for roughly thirty minutes before a dumb joke I made on Discord lead to a lot of pieces clicking into place and me being able to synthesize a stable, if a bit tangential reading of Ep1 (more on that serendipitous accident in section 3 of this essay).

All in all, I am obsessed with this story to an extreme level and my brain is constantly trying to crack its mysteries. I invite you to join me on this journey, a delayed live-commentary of my first play-readthrough of Umineko. That being said, given the nature of my approach to play-reading Umineko, I’d like to avoid spoilers for Episodes I have yet to read as much as possible, and I’d hope anyone reading this will respect that wish.

Content warning: Umineko is a horror story that deals with a lot of systems of violence in gruesome detail. So much violence in fact that I fear the content warning in itself could be triggering. The full content warning will be found under the Read More.

Umineko Ep1 contains in varying degrees of alluding, mentioning, and describing: extreme gore, murder, suicide, sexual assault, patriarchal violence, class violence, child labour, grooming, familial violence, intergenerational violence and intergenerational trauma, child abuse, misogyny, psychological horror, colonialism, imperialism, and fascism.

1. On Umineko Ep1, or: Synopsis

The story of Umineko Ep1 unfolds in stages. The first stage to unlock is the embedded narrative of Ep1. It opens with a prelude on the island of Rokkenjima, a fictional, circular island with a circumference of roughly ten kilometres that is part of the real-life volcanic Izu Archipelago of Japan[ii], a short amount of time before Saturday, the 4th of October 1986. A conversation between Ushiromiya Kinzo, patriarch over the ultrawealthy Ushiromiya family and man who bought himself into the title of “owner of Rokkenjima”, and Doctor Nanjo, his attending physician and long-term friend, unfolds in Kinzo’s study in his mansion. Nanjo reveals to Kinzo that the latter is dying and has not much time left, explaining to Kinzo that he might want to settle his affairs. Kinzo reacts, in the presence of a disturbed Nanjo and the much more calm and collected head servant Genji, with at outburst of anger, revealing an obsession with a woman named Beatrice.

On the morning of Saturday, the 4th of October 1986, members of the Ushiromiya family assemble on a nearby airport. Among those assembled are Kinzo’s second oldest child, Eva, her husband, Hideyoshi, and their child, George, as well Rudolf, Kinzo’s third child, Rudolf’s second wife Kyrie, and Rudolf’s son out of his first marriage, Battler, and lastly, Kinzo’s fourth and youngest child, Rosa, as well as Rosa’s daughter, Maria. These seven travel per airplane to nearby Niijima, where they meet up with Jessica, the daughter of Kinzo’s oldest son, and Kumasawa, one of the servants at Rokkenjima. They take a boat to Rokkenjima, arriving around 10:30 AM.

On Rokkenjima, the weather starts to show signs of getting worse. Traversing through the Ushiromiya family estate, the only part of the island that is inhabited by humans, they meet Godha, the ambitious and renowned private cook, and Kanon, a teenager and servant at the household, currently struggling to do heavy labour in the elaborate rose garden. The new arrivals settle into the guesthouse, separated from the main mansion by the rose garden. In the mansion, the final set of characters of importance to the story get introduced. Sayo, working under the servant name of Shannon, another young servant of the household, Krauss, Kinzo’s first child and heir-apparent to the Ushiromiya head family, and Natsuhi, Krauss’ wife and Jessica’s mother.[iii]

The children, i. e. the cousins, staying at the guesthouse, do some catching-up on their lives, while the parents, i. e. the siblings, discuss at the mansion. Between 12:00 PM and 1:30PM, the family and Nanjo assemble in the dining room of the mansion for lunch. Waiting in vain for Kinzo’s attendance, they proceed to eat without him. At around 1:30 PM, the parents withdraw to discuss finances and inheritance politics. Knowing that Kinzo is close to death, the question of who gets which part of the vast family fortune takes centre stage in their discussion. Accusing Krauss of embezzling some of Kinzo’s private fortune, namely the vast amount of it stored in a supposed ten tons of gold, Eva, Hideyoshi, Kyrie, and Rudolf (and Rosa to some degree) open with an offensive, demanding immediate compensation by Krauss. Denying the existence of the gold and shutting Natsuhi out of the conversation, Krauss counters, revealing that Rudolf is in desperate need of money because he is embroiled in legal battles in the United States, Hideyoshi and Eva are in need of money to support the shaky expansion of their business, and Rosa needs money for her fledgling business. Their talks ultimately end in a draw. Krauss later reveals to a distressed Natsuhi that the gold actually exists, showing a bar as proof.[iv]

Meanwhile, the children roam the mansion and later head down to the beach. They discuss a portrait hanging in the main staircase area, one that Battler had not seen since the last time he had been at Rokkenjima many years ago. The portrait supposedly shows the mystery woman, Beatrice, and has an epitaph underneath. Beatrice is known as the witch of the island, a myth Battler denounces as a fairy tale. The epitaph takes the form of a riddle, forecasting much death and tasking the readers with finding the hidden gold. On the beach, the children try to solve the riddle, also reminiscing on Kinzo’s biography and the history of the family fortune. While the Ushiromiya family had lost most of its wealth, means of production, and members in the Great Kantō earthquake of 1923, Kinzo rose to inherit the title of head of the family. By 1950, Kinzo had (re)established the family as one of the wealthiest of the country, having successfully gambled a lot of capital of mysterious origin on the Korean War. The children wonder if this mysterious starter capital might have been the gold, and if Beatrice might have been a mysterious financier that gave Kinzo this money. Maria, autistic child hyperfocused on the occult and dark magic, insists that Beatrice is a witch and had produced the gold using a “philosopher’s stone”.[v]

In the meantime, a massive storm that had been brewing for a while turns into first rainfall. At around 6:00 PM, Maria is still missing after having been hit in the face multiple times by Rosa a couple of hours earlier as a supposed disciplinary measure. The family goes searching for Maria. She is found in the rose garden, holding an umbrella, still looking for a singular rose plant she had taken a liking to when they first arrived at the island, scared that something might happen to the plant in the storm. Going on to look for whoever had handed Maria the umbrella to properly thank them, Maria insists that the umbrella had been handed to her by Beatrice. Furthermore, Beatrice, according to Maria’s description, had handed her a letter, to be read to the family. The letter, supposedly written by Beatrice herself, reminds them to solve the riddle of the epitaph, lest Beatrice collect what is owed to her according to a mysterious contract between Kinzo and her. Distressing over the letter, the adults continue to fight each other with words, up until midnight for some of them. In the meantime, George and Sayo, secretly involved with each other, meet up in the rose garden. George proposes to Sayo.

On the next day, at around 6:00 AM on the 5th of October, the machinery of the household springs to life again, while the storm still rages on. Preparing the breakfast is impossible, however, due to Godha being missing. As more of the guests and residents of the mansion and guesthouse wake up, it turns out that not only Godha is missing, but Sayo, Krauss, Rudolf, Kyrie, and Rosa as well. After Kanon discovers occult symbols written out in blood on the shutter of the rose garden storehouse, several characters rush to open it. Inside the storehouse are the corpses of all six that are missing, mutilated, especially in their faces.[vi] The family attempts to contact the police, but the telephones have failed in the storm, similarly, boats are no option.

Retreating to the mansion, they find the dining room covered in blood. Fearing for their lives, the survivors hole up in the parlor of the mansion at around 9 AM. Afterwards, they find Kinzo missing from his study. Everyone soon falls into suspicion of each other, suspecting a murderer in their midst, but also unable to rule out other parties, namely Beatrice, being involved. Especially Eva and Natsuhi begin fighting, while Natsuhi carries Kinzo’s rifle, the only known firearm on the island. In the meantime, the children, with the help of Maria, try to discuss the occult implications of the murders, and a new letter that had been found. At some point, despite Natsuhi’s reservations, Eva and Hideyoshi retreat to their guest rooms in the mansion.

At 7 PM, the servants discover the door to Eva and Hideyoshi’s room to be painted in blood. Prying the door open, they find the corpses of Eva and Hideyoshi, with strange spikes lodged into their foreheads.[vii] Smelling a strange smell coming from the boiler room in the basement, Kanon runs there. Challenging Beatrice, which he assigns to the darkness in the corner of the room, he tries to harm her, leading only to him being mortally wounded.[viii] It is difficult to decipher his final words, I personally do not understand if he had anticipated or at least accepted the potential of his death in that action. When everyone else catches up with him, it quickly becomes apparent that the smell is coming from the boiler, in which Kinzo’s charred corpse is found.[ix] The survivors retreat to Kinzo’s study, judging it to be the safest room in the mansion.

At around 8 PM, George, Battler, Jessica, and Natsuhi look at the smaller portrait of Beatrice on the wall of the study, when suddenly, another letter by Beatrice appears, in which Beatrice gleefully celebrates her victory. Suspecting those who had not looked at the portrait to contain Beatrice or at least a collaborator, Natsuhi sends out Nanjo, Genji, Maria, and Kumasawa.

At around 11:30 PM, the phone in the study rings, revealing a singing Maria. Sensing that she might have send the four others to their doom, Natsuhi goes looking for them. Their corpses are found in the parlor, safe for Maria, who stands to a wall, singing.[x] Natsuhi runs out to the main hall, when the clock strikes midnight. She challenges the darkness, Beatrice, to a duel, which leads to her being shot with the rifle she is carrying.[xi] The children arrive in the main hall to see a woman standing, half-shrouded in the dark, who Maria identifies as Beatrice, running towards her.

The next bit of story unfolds in the epilogue, written in the style of a historiographical account. The police arrive the next day, finding everyone dead, except the children, whose corpses could not be fully identified in the gore.[xii] An urban legend spawns from these two days at Rokkenjima. Some years later, a notebook fragment lodged inside a wine bottle washes ashore at a beach. It is a fragment of Maria’s diary, reporting on the events of the days, concluding in a cry not for help, but for the someone to solve the mystery at hand.

Concluding this embedded narrative, a new chapter called the Tea Party unlocks in the game’s menu. In the Tea Party, the first-order frame narrative unfolds, in a domain only labelled Purgatorio in the opening slide.[xiii] Kanon, Sayo, George, Jessica, Maria, and Battler converse about the events of the first Episode, fully aware that they are characters in a story. Most of them either believed in magic previously or now concede that magic must have been the murder weapon. Battler, however, resists this reading of events. Beatrice appears, superficially amused by Battler’s antics. Transporting them to the scene of Hideyoshi’s and Eva’s murder, she demonstrates supposedly magic mastery over so-called demonic stakes, with which she murders Hideyoshi and Eva again. Battler still does not concede, vowing to uncover what practical tricks Beatrice uses for her murders. The other children and young adults begin violently unravelling into piles of gore[xiv], as Beatrice magic keeping them alive supposedly fails as Battler is unable to believe in that magic. In her dying words, Jessica urges Battler to resist believing in magic.

Concluding the Tea Party, another chapter unlocks in the game’s menu. In this second-order frame narrative, in some ill-defined realm of witches, Beatrice hosts a witch named Bernkastel in her domain, inviting her to watch another game. While Beatrice is absent for a short while, Bernkastel turns her eyes and attention to the play-reader, giving, out of a self-reported pity for the play-reader, cryptic clues to playing/reading/observing Umineko. This concludes Ep1.

2. On apples falling from family trees, or: cyclical systems of violence

2.1 What the actual fuck, Battler: Rudolf, Rosa, parental violence, masculinity, and the patriarchy

The first thing that one can easily observe when reading Umineko Ep1 is that violence happens cyclically, on multiple levels. The violence Umineko examines is incredibly complex, with multiple threads interwoven into a singular system of power. A very fitting way to try to unravel these threads from one another (at least to some degree) is looking at the branches of the family tree placing allegorical emphasis on different aspects of that violence.

Much sooner than when the shutter is raised on the rose garden storehouse, Umineko Ep1 reaffirms that it is a horror game; more precisely, every third time[xv] Battler opens his mouth. For play-readers who get lulled into a false sense of security by the mundane family conversations at the airport, the harbour at Niijima reminds them of its horror when Battler makes jokes about sexually assaulting his cousin, Jessica. Later, he makes a joke about making Maria, his nine-year old cousin, promise that he can touch her breasts once he has grown up. This joke causes concern by George and Jessica. When Battler only shortly after sets out to touch Sayo’s breasts, Sayo does not resist, until she is directly ordered to do so. The characters around him barely acknowledge Battler’s insistence on semi-seriously performing symbolic acts of sexualized violence, only the joke with Maria leads to Jessica slapping Battler in the face, and the dynamic returns to friendly as quickly as it escalated. This absence of consequences for his violence stands for two things: How fundamental and normalized misogyny and the patriarchy are in the family, and that Battler is his father’s son. Indeed, that Battler mirrors in speech what his father enacts in material reality also stands as a pars pro toto for the fact that children in Umineko perpetuate the violence of their parents, with only minor variation per generation.

The extent of Rudolf’s patriarchal and sexualized violence is cloaked in hushes and whispers in Ep1, but the outline of his actions clings to his character. In his introduction at the airport, Kyrie and Battler joke about Kyrie being the only woman capable of holding Rudolf in his reigns; a metaphor of taming wild horses that seems to be close to common social narratives around particularly sexually violent men. Battler had left the family behind for about six years, angry at Rudolf for what Rudolf did to Battler’s mother, a mystery as of now. After the death of Battler’s mother, it took Rudolf not long to marry his former advisor-secretary Kyrie. Kinzo laments about his children and mentions Rudolf’s inability to control his lust. With a father like that, Battler’s sticking to mostly spoken jokes about misogynistic violence measures the distance the apple ultimately managed to fall from the tree.

That violence is an inheritance in the Ushiromiya family is very evident. This includes physical abuse. Rosa’s beating of Maria, for Maria speaking in a way perfectly normal for an autistic nine-year old, is one example of this. Indeed, this very overt act of parental violence also happens in the context of Maria searching for a singular, slightly wilting rose in the rose garden that she had taken a liking to. Engaging in improper speech patterns (read: making noises instead of using a sophisticated, class-appropriated lexicon) and showing compassion, things that all children engage in in some degree because (I cannot stress this enough) humans are born ultimately compassionate and playful, are met with extreme violence to be eradicated. The kind of adult growing up from such a childhood has to invest a lot of emotional energy in unravelling that violence and the trauma it causes. Those used to violence have a choice to either counter this violence by difficult means and heal, or perpetuate the same kind of violence. It is evident Rosa picked up her parenting methods from Kinzo, who is noted to have hit Krauss often and loudly as a child.

As violence is carried mostly undisturbed from generation to generation, misogyny becomes an integral aspect of the mechanism of violence. Battler notes that the Ushiromiya family places a special emphasis on blood relations, perhaps more than other families, but that focus on blood still includes the patriarchy to a large degree, just in an uncommon variation. Indeed, in parts of Ep1 focusing on Natsuhi, it becomes clear that especially women marrying into this family structure are seen as little more than means to produce heirs.

2.2 Class dismissed: Eva versus Natsuhi, the mansion, Gothic horror, and servants

Upon marrying into the Ushiromiya family, Natsuhi was expected to give birth to an heir to the head family as soon as possible. Indeed, she becomes reduced to her womb, in an incredibly dehumanizing fashion. Still, within the rigid social structure of the mansion, she is the host, the one every servant first turns to. When a servant is unable to perform their labour and present a perfect household, Natsuhi pays in social capital. As the connecting tissue between the servant class and the ultrarich family, as the outsider womb that failed for the longest time, as the silenced and excluded player in the parents’ game of inheritance splitting, Natsuhi takes a fringe position. She is a fulcrum of violence, both recipient and exacter of it. Nominally member of the uppermost class, and a woman, she should find herself on similar station to Eva.

And yet, in the incredibly weird and fully obscene tension between Eva and Natsuhi, Eva manages to mobilize class and blood relations to gain an advantage over Natsuhi. Eva managed to place Hideyoshi into the family registry, maintaining her family name despite that not being common, and upstages Natsuhi in fulfilling the role and purpose of a woman in this family structure, by birthing an heir faster than Natsuhi. Eva envies Krauss and wants to gain his level of power. George is Eva’s ambition grown into flesh, not a son but a pawn and argument, her project to produce a human more fit to the title of heir to the head family than Jessica. Indeed, Eva fully modelled George into that role, and most of the family agrees that he would make a better heir than Jessica. Natsuhi, maintaining a modicum of humanity and compassion despite the family around her, does not manage to exert the same level of violent force upon her daughter Jessica, leading to Jessica being labelled a failure, and Natsuhi in turn as well. Eva goes as far as calling Natsuhi a “lowly maidservant”. Natsuhi’s ambiguous state in the family comes also to be expressed in her not being allowed to bear the family crest, a one-winged eagle. While the servants and all (blood) family members are allowed to carry it on their clothes, Natsuhi is not afforded that status. Belittled over decades, torn from her old family and forced to cut all ties, reduced to a womb, called a failure time and time again, Natsuhi jumps at the opportunity when Kinzo tells her she is allowed to carry the one-winged eagle in her heart. Her desperation to become a full-fledged member of the family comes to a close when she, as the only surviving parent, calls herself heir to the family in her duel with Beatrice. This quest, to become full participant in the violent machinery of the family structure, fails, and she dies by the firearm so closely linked with the head of the family. And yet, the situation of the servants is markedly worse than Natsuhi’s.

While Natsuhi is dehumanized by being reduced to a walking womb, the servants are not even afforded a distant connection to flesh and blood, being reduced to furniture. It is a mantra beaten into them, one they repeat again and again to deny their own agency, to be “nothing but furniture”. The way the servants navigate this lack of agency varies. Genji consigns himself to collected and veiled pride; being most trusted by Kinzo, moreso than Kinzo even trusts his own children. Godha, not unlike Natsuhi, tries to integrate himself into this power structure, but unlike Natsuhi, he is not tied down by regret, pain, and a modicum of humanity. He steals what little social capital is afforded to the servants for himself, assigning them much less prestigious tasks. And yet, he ends up destroyed in the same machinery of power he tried to kiss up to, being one of the first to die. Kumasawa withdraws herself from difficult labour, and tells stories and lies and uses a semblance of a jester’s freedom to protect the young servants as best as she can. Sayo freezes in inaction and despair. And Kanon, the youngest, reacts ultimately in an outburst of righteous anger. One must note the degree of violence of class that is enacted upon mere children. In an act veiled in the narrative of philanthropy, Kinzo recruits little children from orphanages to work at the household. This is praised as a chance for them to make money, and to raise in social status. In reality, Kanon’s introduction, in which he fails at performing incredibly hard labour in the garden, shows that Kinzo employs child labour to upkeep his machinery of family as enshrined by the building of the mansion. Once again, violence is exerted upon children to force them into a new generation of this cycle.

The mansion itself is a symbol that can be read in multiple ways, two of which are yet to follow; but it is a very evident expression of power. The ability to buy the rights to an entire island and build a massive mansion complex on it, one large enough to fit a miniature version of itself – Kinzo’s study being called a mansion inside a mansion at some point – is of course an expression of class. Elaborate rooms in the upper floors assigned to be only walked by the high and mighty, and the utilities assigned down below to be only visited by the servants – the structure of the mansion uses its walls to create and reinforce borders and delineations between the classes. These borders only fall, servants walking main rooms and the rich seeing the utilities up close, when Rokkenjima’s violence becomes unable to be narrated away as actual blood and gore runs through its halls.

A potentially supernatural murder series inside a western style mansion could be read as a marker of genre, even – but Umineko Ep1 resists strict allegiance to a singular genre. It toys with the elements of Gothic horror – of which the mansion as a stage and ordering device is a central one – but also transcends it. The origins of Gothic horror in the late 19th century, from what little I know about literary history, do treat their servants as actually nothing more than furniture, barely mentioned if all, not counted as human. Umineko’s supposed furniture cries, curses, bleeds, resists, gives in, dreams of love, stands together and aside. Umineko’s servants navigate class and agency, and that navigation takes centre stage multiple times, their inability to throw their own humanity and compassion away underlining and inverting the parents’ demand to ignore notions of compassion and humanity. But the mansion, particularly its position on an island otherwise uninhabited by humans, takes on multiple roles at once.

2.3 Pecunia non olet: Krauss, resource extraction, ecology, and the storm

The mansion and its surrounding area are an exception to the typical structure of Rokkenjima. Rokkenjima is densely inhabited and brimming with life, but not of the human variety. It is marked by a dense forest, and its cliffs are home to the black-tailed gulls who mark the text’s title – they are the Umineko, a common seabird found across many Pacific coasts, particularly in East Asia. The absence of their distinctive cry upon the visitor’s arrival on the island is remarked upon in the text, and it is one of the many early indicators of the impending tempest that entraps the island for two days. As the gulls notice changes to the wind patterns, humidity, and air pressure, they instinctually withdraw to safer locations to sit out the storm. Once they cry again, the storm has passed.

The mundane black-tailed gulls are in several ways a counterpart and mirror to the seemingly majestic one-winged eagle. Whereas the gulls have (probably) existed on Rokkenjima since its distinct geo-ecological formation as an island, the one-winged eagle specifically as the symbol of the Ushiromiya family has rested on Rokkenjima only since Kinzo manoeuvred himself into de-facto legal possession of the island. As Battler remarks at some point:

“Buying an entire island is not something that you can ordinarily do today. However, Grandfather was clever. He contacted the GHQ and applied for the establishment of a marine resource base. He acquired this island as a business property, then tossed that project aside and claimed it as his own plot of land. [...] Later, Tokyo made difficulties by telling Kinzo to return the land, but the pushy GHQ intervened. Grandfather, with considerable skill and good luck, managed to weather the stormy seas of that period, obtaining a vast fortune and his own island. [...] A mansion was built on the island soon after. [...] Grandfather, with his love of the Western style, made this once uninhabited island a canvas upon which he could realize his dreams to his heart’s content. He now had the Western mansion of his dreams, overflowing with emotion and atmosphere, and a beautiful garden featuring all sorts of roses. And he had a private beach where nobody other than himself would ever be permitted to leave a footprint.”

There is a lot – a lot – going on this passage, and I will come back to it in section 2.4, but for now, there is one focus point: The island is described by Battler as having been previously uninhabited. This draws, at minimum, a line in which a distinct human presence is conflated with the state of being uninhabited. Rokkenjima, before Kinzo’s arrival, so the narrative spun by Battler, exists as a social and ecological terra nullius, this “empty canvas”, into which Kinzo inscribed his personal vision. This passage continually reaffirms the notion that land can be viewed through the lens of ownership – which far from a neutral idea.

By turning the land into something that can be “obtained”, “bought”, and “claimed” by a singular individual, its ecology is exposed to the logics of neoliberalism. And, indeed, Kinzo’s eldest, the designated heir to the financial empire, Krauss, doubles down on this process. The guest house is a symbol of Krauss trying to extract monetary value from the idea of land ownership: He plans on turning the island into a vacation resort for well-paying customers. As Rudolf comments on Krauss’ plan:

“You were brilliant when you saw that using this island only as a place to live was a waste. I think it was a pretty good plan to turn it into a resort that could use the prospect of marine sports, fishing, honeymoons and the like to attract customers. If I were the oldest son, I’m sure I’d have strained my brain looking for a way to make profit off this island.”

Later, Rudolf adds:

“I’ll bet you want to liquidate but can’t. After all, there’s no reason for anyone to buy such an extravagant hotel on an isolated, empty island without any established sightseeing routes.”

An island existing on its own, as an ecologically closed system by itself, is an impossibility under capitalism. Value must be extracted from everything, even the fact of land and ecology itself, else, it is, as Kinzo’s children seem to unanimously agree, a “waste”. Rokkenjima, so full with dense forestry and filled to the brink with life is “empty” because humans cannot make more money out of it. Establishing sightseeing routes, cutting through the ecology to maximize human access – and human profit – to and from it, is the only way not to “waste” it. The black-tailed gull is not granted any meaningful connection or presence on the island. And yet, on the morning of the 6th of October, the skies clear, and the black-tailed gulls cry again, alive and present on the island, whereas those who previously so proudly wore the one-winged eagle lie slaughtered into piles of blood and gore across the mansion and garden.

Kinzo’s fortune – not coincidentally – is maintained through having invested his money during the Fifties into the iron and steel industry, key actors in material resource extraction and environmental devastation, also given the connection of the steel and coal industries. The influence the economic system has on the ecology is marked by resource extraction. When it is a tropical thunderstorm that entraps the Ushiromiya family on this island it previously called its possession, forcing everyone to meet their violent demise, there is a certain comedic catharsis to it – thunderstorms, their increasing likelihood and extremeness, are a direct result of the economic mechanisms that marked the Ushiromiya ascension to power. For all their money, the Ushiromiyas cannot escape the storm. By exploiting nature they rise, by being unable to control such a large natural event they fall.

The theme of the Ushiromiyas’ fall repeats in the ecology, not only being found in the fauna but also in the flora. The rose garden is part of Krauss’ “development” of the land as well as Kinzo’s self-inscription onto the island. It is a model of making sense of nature – whereas the Ushiromiyas describe the forest of Rokkenjima as uninviting, dark, and imposing, the rose garden is a source of respite, admiration, and a stage upon which their control is played out. But the garden is far from a fitting presence on the island – it is noted multiple times that the yearly thunderstorms devastate the garden, leading to it requiring major repair and replanting every time. Rokkenjima is not a natural habitat for roses – and yet, as a mark of pride and possession of nature, it has to be repeatedly reinstated on it. And yet, after the storm passes, the trees of Rokkenjima still stand, whereas the roses of the Ushiromiyas have been scattered and largely destroyed. It is just as fitting to underline the Ushiromiyas’ relationship to the ecology around them that Maria’s concern for the well-being of a singular rose – an entirely positive process in which two organisms interact in a caring and gentle way – is seen as childish and absurd, whereas establishing a rose garden on Rokkenjima in the first place is seen as logical and meaningful.

Turning from the text to the real world, there is an actual and vast touristic network spanning the Izu islands. There is reason to assume that Krauss’ plans might have been fruitful if it were not for his face being separated from the rest of his body. Then again, the Izu islands also feature a long history of hotel ruins and closed tourist resorts – a very interesting example being the Hachijō-jima Royal Hotel, a project very similar to Krauss’, just some decades prior. Also featuring a sizable hotel complex in the Western style, it is now an abandoned ruin, having closed in 2006 (see Lowe, 2016). More importantly, the Japanese government used to advertise this hotel as the “Hawaii [sic!] of Japan”, a marketing pitch that, according to David Lowe, saw success at the time (2016). Let us put a pin on the mobilization of an image of Hawai’i by Japanese government actors, and turn from the branches of this rotten family tree to its roots and finally fire Chekhov's Winchester M1894.

2.4 How to get away with fascism: Kinzo, imperialism, occultism, cowboys, the nonexistent philosopher’s stone, and (hi)storytelling

This reading of the Ushiromiya family so far has purposefully taken individual members to underline larger system, but of course, this choosing-of-focus is an artificial fragmentation. Eva’s ambition overlaps with Krauss’ neoliberalism. Rudolf’s misogyny overlaps with Eva’s attempts to push Natsuhi down. Rosa’s explicit violence against Maria overlaps with Eva’s implicit violence against George. I cherry-picked aspects of their violence that seemed to stick out as an illustration, but they all orbit around the same centre of gravity, the source of it all: Kinzo.

Multiple times in Ep1, the Ushiromiya family history gets narrated, specifically, surrounding Kinzo’s financial decisions. Every time, the story starts at the Great Kantō Earthquake of 1923[xvi], and ends around 1950, with the start of the Korean War. During the earthquake, the family is said to have lost their means of production, having been industrialists beforehand, and having lost several members, leading to Kinzo’s unlikely ascension to the head of the family. Kinzo is said to have acquired some starter capital in the form of a massive amount of gold before 1950, very early going all in on some form of Korean War bonds, being called Korean War Demands in the text. Kinzo is in these descriptions universally praised for his cunning, willingness to take risks, cooperation with the West, and seemingly inhuman foresight. Let’s reexamine this story again: A Japanese former industrialist rebuilds his family’s fortune between 1923 and roughly 1950, by acquiring gold of mysterious origins in between that timeframe. In the text, the adults speculate that Beatrice might have been a mysterious widowed financier willing to support Kinzo, whereas Maria insists that Beatrice used black magic – the philosopher’s stone, specifically – to create gold out of nothing. But this story of the family fortune is painfully familiar to me as a historian capable of speaking and reading German. Now, class, can anyone tell me what might have happened in these less than three decades that a sufficiently violent man could have used to make a small fortune out of nothing?

When I commented in the Discord chat that I use to ramble about Umineko on exactly that fact after the first time the financial history of the family was narrated, and called Kinzo a fascist, Ozaawa confirmed my conclusion. The Ushiromiya family gold – the source of it all, Kinzo’s great legacy – stems from fascist sources. The mysteriously lacking narration of the company history for the Thirties and Forties aside, there is another factor to consider to point towards this conclusion as early as the middle point of Ep1. When Krauss shows Natsuhi an actual bar of the family’s gold reserves, Natsuhi notices the absence of a note of the forge/bank that is customary for high-quality gold bars. All that the gold bars show is a one-winged eagle. Now, of course you can think of the philosopher’s stone all you want, and deliberate how gold bars created from magic might look – but unmarked gold acquired in the Thirties and Forties could be explained by much less magical origins. The eagle itself is a symbol mobilized by many fascists the world over – its role as a symbol for the Ushiromiya family hints further towards the origins of that fortune.

The supposed mystery of the gold’s origin only becomes less mysterious when considering what means of gaining wealth are fully accepted as legitimate parts of the family history. The Korean War Demands – some way of profiting of the Korean War – are seen as a masterful stroke by Kinzo. That the Korean War was an incredibly bloody proxy war between the US-American and Soviet Empires, one fought with a land and population as collateral that had been violently occupied by Imperial Japan for decades prior, makes no difference. Kinzo’s war profiteering in 1950 is a socially acceptable form of imperialism, whereas the source of the gold is not. That Kinzo simply changed which imperialists to support between 1940 and 1950 does not change that he is profiteering of it in some capacity or another. His supposed cunning as a businessman is nothing more than a keen understanding of which empire will win and lose in which conflict combined with a willingness to turn the blood spilled by imperialism into gold.

Speaking of spilling blood, the murders of Rokkenjima are, as elaborated in the introduction, called “the demon’s roulette” in the text on multiple occasions, referring to some obscure black magic ritual. Magic and the occult are, so it is said by several people at multiple times in the text, bound by the logic of miracles. Kinzo explains it as such to Kanon:

“In other words, magic is a game. It is not the case that the one who performs the best becomes the victor. The victor performs the best because he has been granted magic. [...] Of course. I made it difficult. ...But you must try to solve it as well. That will form the seed that summons the miracle of my magic. If every one attempts it and everyone fails, that will be that. However, if the miracles come together and give birth to magical power, it will happen! [...] That is why you must attempt it too. Everyone must attempt it. And in so doing, they will give strength to my magic!! Do you understand?!”

Kinzo’s magic trick requires unfaltering belief in the riddle of the epitaph. Everyone, no matter of which background, can solve the riddle of the epitaph, a riddle that promises those who solve it wealth in the form of gold, and everyone must attempt to do so. The neoliberal credo is that everyone must use their own cunning and skill to strive for wealth, and that everyone can ascend to wealth when they are cunning enough. The demon’s roulette, as a pars pro toto for black magic and the occult, operates noticeably in parallel to the logics of capitalism. The occult as explained by Kinzo, in this reading of Ep1, therefore becomes a mirror to imperialist capitalism – capable of withdrawing it from the narratives that cloak it and obscure its violence, the demon’s roulette embodies and demonstrates the violence necessary to operate imperialist capitalism. It is easy for the characters to think of the gold as a distant, clean commodity and bargaining chip. It is easy for me to describe that the text alludes to the origins of the gold in fascism and imperialism. But when Battler breaks down in tears at the sight of his parent’s disfigured and defaced corpses, when the blood and gore of everyone mixes so much that class distinctions break down just as much as the bodies, when the eldest and most powerful man and the youngest, abused servant both lie in death and dead in the same room, the demon’s roulette unveils what stands behind the Ushiromiya wealth: blood. Rudolf’s negotiation with Krauss features the only mention of roulette in the text that I noticed that is not the demon’s roulette:

“The iron rule of the money roulette is that you bet against the loser.”

The demon’s roulette is the money roulette. Capitalism and imperialism operate like the occult in the embedded narrative of Ep1 does, just with one being more socially accepted than the other. Just as the violence of the occult fails and falls apart when people’s belief in it shakes, so does capitalism.

In the end, the family tree planted by Kinzo bears the fruits he has ultimately sown. Is not Eva as manipulative and emotionally violent as him? Does his obsession with Beatrice not speak the same language as Rudolf’s misogyny? Is Krauss’ money-making not just as random and based on chance as his? Does Rosa not beat her own child like he beat his? When Kinzo laments how horrible his children are, is he clairvoyant enough for that to be self-hatred? The violence that marks the Ushiromiya family stems from imperialism and fascism and capitalism in all their entanglements, made manifest in the structure of the family and mansion.

A perfect illustration of this is the symbol of the Winchester M1894. It is a gun featured in western Westerns, a motive that keeps reappearing. Being the actual gun used in filming some Western[xvii], Kinzo had it bought and retrofitted to his liking. Kinzo, so is reaffirmed many, many times in the text, is obsessed with the West. His ability to schmooze up to the GHQ is just one example of this. Kinzo, the Japanese imperialist, being close to the West, is yet another pars pro toto; Japanese imperialism has historically grown in close proximity to Western imperialism. With the end of the Shogunate and the beginning of the Meiji restoration, the idea of industrialization and restructuring of society after the western model laid the ideological groundwork for building imperial Japan; particularly, the contact point of the Pacific brought Japan into connection with the United States, extending its Empire by the annexation of the Kingdom of Hawai’i. That Japanese government agents used the idea of the US tourist industry in Hawai’i – an inextricable part of imperial control and domination – to promote a hotel resort on an actual island close to where Rokkenjima would be in the real world, ties Krauss’ island development project back to Kinzo and Kinzo’s obsession with the West. He has a western-style mansion, a western-style rose garden, his children have western-style names, and he has a western-style Western rifle. The idea of the cowboy in the genre of the Western is one inherently tied to US myths of westward expansion and manifest destiny. If the rifle then symbolizes the cowboy, and one questions the context of the genre where the cowboy is the protagonist, it becomes a tool of violent colonial inscription. Rokkenjima becomes Kinzo’s colonial playground, one which he violently claims and violently maintains while wielding the cowboy’s gun, one modified to his liking. It is western imperialism with a small twist, retrofitted for the logics and specific situation at play in Rokkenjima. Natsuhi dies, claiming the rifle and the title of head of the family, shot by the instrument of imperialism she could, in the end, not wield properly.

When Battler wishes for the seagulls to cry, he envisions the police showing up at that point, solving the murders logically, restoring sense and meaning and order as it was before. But the murders unsettle the dynamics of the Ushiromiya family, in a way that cannot be undone. They reveal the deeper violence at play, embody that blood and gore which was previously obscured. One can doubt that the police can restore the status quo that Battler dreams of, as the state, of which the police are central actors and agents, is linked to the very imperialism that sits at the core of these murders. And indeed, as the epilogue of the embedded narrative reveals, the police do not do anything of meaning in reaction to the murders. Ep1, in this reading, becomes a story of the violence of imperialist capitalism crashing down on the family it once uplifted. All of this is a nice reading, but that is a story that does not necessitate magic being real. This reading is missing one integral piece: Beatrice, the sexy, sexy ominous demonic presence of the horror story that is Ep1, exists.

3. On Divine Comedies and Worldly Tragedies, or: how did I almost miss this

So far, I have not really said anything that is not obvious from even a superficial reading of Ep1. It does not take much attention to figure out that the Ushiromiya family is deeply fucked up. It does not take much attention to figure out that Kinzo is a disturbingly violent man. The entire second segment of this essay is simply a close reading of something that sits at the surface of Umineko Ep1. Sure, I did that little trick of understanding early on that there is imperialism and fascism at play here – but I can be far from the only one who picked up on that as soon as it was placed down in the text. This essay, for the longest time, was just that second segment, that close reading of the family violence – and I wondered if that even was enough to publish it. It was missing something grander, some reason to give me a seat at the table of those scholars who understand Umineko from early on. Missing that element, that link to make a more complex reading of Ep1 work, I simply gave up. I started Episode 2, broken-hearted, and followed it until it is implied early on that George will be sent into an arranged marriage. And all along I was making jokes about Umineko to the admin of the Discord server where I ramble about Umineko – she has not read the story, but enjoys my commentary on it. I made a joke about the frame narratives being nestled, like wooden dolls – and then I wanted to double down on that joke by referencing the well-known movie Shrek (2001) by saying something along the lines of “or like ogres and onions”. But I felt I needed some other joke, something a bit more weird than a simple and well-known Shrek meme, to mask my devastation at being unable to solve Ep1. And so I said: “Or like the layers of hell in the Divine Comedy. Didn't Beatrice call herself a guide through purgatory in the tea party? Is she the Virgil to my Dante?[xviii]”. The exact line I am referencing is spoken by Beatrice, when explaining the murders of Eva and Hideyoshi in the first-order frame narrative:

“Come, arise, children. I am the guide of Purgatory. Forgive the deadly sins and hold the Seven Stakes.”

A sentence I had glossed over when I first read the tea party, one seemingly inconspicuous. But it had lodged itself into my brain and become the basis of aforementioned joke. My joke, made simply because I was momentarily tired of Shrek memes, had been closer to the truth of it all than I could have ever imagined. It took me twenty-nine minutes to see it, to realize it. I came back to the Discord chat, typing in all caps. Beatrice exists. Boy, does Beatrice ever exist. Beatrice is (not only) the guide of Purgatory. Beatrice is the guide of Heaven. Beatrice is a literary figure that has existed for seven centuries.

3.1 14th century Italian poetry, in your Umineko? It’s more likely than you think

The Divine Comedy, originally the Commedia and then the Divina Commedia, is a long poetic text by exiled and grumpy Florentine author Durante Alighieri, better known as Dante Alighieri, written in the early 14th century. Its narrative is divided into three parts. In Inferno, the Dante of the narrative descends through the centre of the Earth. He receives help in navigating Hell, which is located in the centre of the Earth, by the Roman poet Virgil, who knows the rules and dangers of the nine circles and centre of Hell. Each circle of hell features a specific punishment for sinners. In Purgatorio, Virgil and Dante emerge on the other side of the Earth onto a sole, circular island in the pacific. This island, marked by a mountain, is also subdivided into nine rings and one centre. Souls who wish to enter heaven have to ascend through the rings up the mountain to find themselves in the Garden of Eden atop the mountain. Here, Dante meets a woman named Beatrice. In Paradiso, Beatrice guides Dante through the celestial heavens. The heavens are inhabited by the most virtuous of souls and divine beings. They are also subdivided into nine parts, plus God in their outermost layer. Upon Dante reaching God under Beatrice’s guidance, the story ends, as Dante is imbued with fundamental understanding of God.

Under the eurocentric lens of western academia, the Divine Comedy is considered to stand among the most important works of world literature. It is also considered one of the, if not the foremost entries into the Italian literary canon[xix]. It, that much is certain, played an important role in formalizing the Italian language, and had introduced a very detailed description of hell and demons, something unprecedented given that western church canon[xx] had avoided giving clear descriptions of hell. The tropes established in the Divine Comedy regarding the structure and functioning of hell have received an incredibly extensive reception over the centuries, being integral pieces of the collective imagining of hell and demons, and referenced in much contemporary media. I hold very little knowledge of contemporary Japanese media, but I know that the Devil May Cry franchise has been very successful and in some connection to the Divine Comedy since 2001.

The Divine Comedy features a very extensive range of appearing figures, symbols, metaphors, and narrative systems. From real life figures living and dead to themes spanning such questions as the implications of a round Earth (see Schlingen 2021, p. 386) and human bodiedness in connection to human emotions (see Howie 2021), there is a lot one can take out of the Divine Comedy. And indeed, one can read Umineko Ep1 alongside – or perhaps against – the Divine Comedy. The opening slide of the first-order frame narrative reveals that it is set in Umineko’s Purgatorio – whatever that may mean. This setting of the tea party, and the sentence in which Beatrice describes herself as the guide of Purgatory, are direct hints at a connection between the Divine Comedy and Umineko Ep1. And yet, the most meaningful connection between the Divine Comedy and Umineko Ep1 is much more simple. As Lady Bernkastel explains to the player-reader in the second-order frame narrative:

“First of all, about that girl. She does have the name Beatrice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she is ‘one individual woman’.”

That begs the question: How many individual women is Beatrice, exactly?

3.2 Into the Beatriceverse

Beatrice Portinari is a Florentine woman that was married to a man named Simone de Bardi in 1287 (see Lewis 2001, p. 72). She died in the summer of 1290 (see Mazotta 2000, p. 18). Her father, a banker named Folco Portinari, died on the 31st of December 1289 (see Lewis 2001, p. 77). That much is something we can say with relative certainty. Church recordings in central Italy were thorough when it came to deaths, births, and marriages. Anything else we know about Beatrice Portinari – well, it is complicated. The most extensive account of Beatrice Portinari’s life was written by Dante Alighieri in the 1290s, the Vita Nuova. Dante Alighieri reports extensively on his lifelong obsession with Beatrice Portinari, a woman he spoke to merely a handful of times, at least to his own accord (regarding the number of direct interactions see Lewis 2001). If we trust Dante to tell the truth, they were about the same age, setting her birth at around 1265, and indicating that she was 25 at the time of her death. Dante’s infatuation with Beatrice Portinari lead him to engineer social situations in which he might be able to see her. The Vita Nuova holds little information on anything Beatrice Portinari ever did out her own accord. We know nothing reliable about her interests, likes and dislikes, or emotions. Most what we know about her life is delivered to us through the eyes and words of a man who held a deeply one-sided obsession with her. If the Vita Nuova was simply the ramblings of an obsessed, grieving poet, Beatrice Portinari might have been drifted out of our collective memory.

But the Vita Nuova is not the only time Dante wrote (about) Beatrice Portinari. Divine Comedy Beatrice is one of the central figures of that poetic work, likely a direct reference to the real-life Beatrice Portinari. Divine Comedy Beatrice is the one who starts the events of the story; Virgil appears before Dante in the name of Divine Comedy Beatrice, who wishes to see Divine Comedy Dante guided to the heavens. It is in constantly referencing Divine Comedy Beatrice that Divine Comedy Dante keeps a focus through hell and purgatory. Divine Comedy Beatrice takes on the role of an angelic being guiding Divine Comedy Dante to God (see Kirkpatrick 1990, p. 101), and performs “the priestly roles of confessor, teacher, interpreter of Scripture, and spiritual guide” (Waller 2021, p. 702). These two Beatrices – Beatrice Portinari and Divine Comedy Beatrice – stand in a complicated relationship. Feminist critiques of Dante taking possession of the memory of Beatrice Portinari and puppeteering it for his own purposes have existed for a long time. To cite a longer passage from Kirkpatrick 1990, p. 101:

“Beatrice has been cited more than once as evidence that the selflessness that the lover attributes to an ideal lady is not so much a manifestation of spiritual nobility as a covert sentence of death. [...] Whether as the selfless object of courtly love or as an angelic being, the lady dies insofar as the historical woman becomes a cipher on which the patriarchal will of the writer - be he courtly poet or God - can exert itself.”

We do not know what Beatrice Portinari thinks of the long poetic text written after her death by a man she barely knew in which he wields the image of her. What we know is that centuries after her death, Dante’s obsession with her is still idealized. His writings are regarded by many as the height of romantic poetry, and allusions to Divine Comedy Beatrice run throughout western literature[xxi]. I agree with the point Kirkpatrick is making, but would maybe extend it by the semantic question if we are faced with a “death sentence” of the historical woman or her unwilling entrapment in a “literary immortality” that robs her of all agency and personhood. In the end, though, both these terms describe the same act of violence.

These two Beatrices, as well as the relationship between the two, are certainly figures at play in Umineko Ep1. We can count the extratextual number of Beatrices as two, which leaves us with the question of how many Beatrices we are dealing with in Umineko Ep1. There is a woman named Beatrice which Kinzo met sometime in the Thirties or Forties, a woman that died at some point in the past, as Genji explains when the survivors barricade themselves in Kinzo’s study. I would like to title this Beatrice “Umineko’s Historical Beatrice” for the time being. We know little about Umineko’s Historical Beatrice, just as we know little about Beatrice Portinari. Kinzo’s entanglement in Japanese imperialism and with the axis powers would certainly leave him with a plethora of opportunities to exert totalizing power over quite a number of women. Then, there is “Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice”. Kinzo weaves a narrative around Umineko’s Historical Beatrice, just like Dante did around Beatrice Portinari. The resulting woman, Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice, is one he mobilizes as an excuse for his obsession with the occult. It is difficult to tell at this point if Kinzo made that mysterious contract with Umineko’s Historical Beatrice, or if the contract is part of the narrative of Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice. Then, there is Golden Witch Beatrice – a myth, whispered by the servants and Maria in awe, fear, and distant hope for liberation, a myth of a second master of Rokkenjima, one who assumes control when Kinzo sleeps, but also haunts the mansion in perhaps some level of agency. There is the Mystery Financier Beatrice, an explanation the adults and Battler come up with for the letters and for Kinzo’s gold and for the murders, a very human, if hypothetical woman – Mystery Financier Beatrice is closely related to Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice, perhaps by intention of Kinzo. Both Mystery Financier Beatrice and Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice are removed from any actual agency or self-hood, they are stories told and speculated upon. Then, there is Arisen Beatrice – a woman, in the flesh, who we only catch a glimpse of at the end of the embedded narrative, who greets the surviving children, primarily Maria. And lastly, there is Eternal Witch Beatrice, the witch who we see in the second-order frame narrative and, as I assume, the same Beatrice we encounter in the first-order frame narrative.

Now, take this list with a grain of salt. These Beatrices do overlap and may even sometimes be the same person. There is plenty reason to assume that Arisen Beatrice and Eternal Witch Beatrice are the same, as much as there is plenty reason to assume that there is a strong overlap between Golden Witch Beatrice and Eternal Witch Beatrice. Perhaps Arisen Beatrice and Umineko’s Historical Beatrice somehow are the same figure – Lady Bernkastel mentions that she was mortal once, implying that one can ascend to being a witch from a state of mortality. But, ultimately, I mark these Beatrices as distinct because just as much as Beatrice Portinari and Divine Comedy Beatrice, they have the capacity to stand in relationship to one another, and they have vastly different agencies, roles, and limitations when compared to each other. Every single one of these Beatrices is commanded by different forces, used and presented and (figuratively and literally) painted by different people, sometimes by her own, sometimes by individual others, sometimes by collective others. Close attention needs to be paid at how these eight-ish Beatrices, two extratextual and six-ish intratextual, are played out in very different ways. And, as I theorize is integral for understanding Umineko Ep1 – the very relationship between Beatrice Portinari and Divine Comedy Beatrice mirrors the relationship between Umineko’s Historical Beatrice and Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice intentionally. When the survivors retreat to the study, and Genji recounts the story of Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice, the first reaction that the listeners have is understanding and empathy for Kinzo. It is only when realizing that the murders happening around them are closely tied to Kinzo’s obsession with and hope for a resurrection of Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice that they realize that Kinzo had gone too far. In Kinzo, so my reading, Umineko Ep1 satirizes Dante Alighieri. Eternal Witch Beatrice lashing out can be read as a symbolic act of intertextual retribution for the textual violence and entrapment Beatrice Portinari has suffered, just as much as it could be a retribution for the suffering Umineko’s Historical Beatrice had endured. Umineko, so I further theorize, can be read as an inverse Divine Comedy – a Worldly Tragedy, if you will. Let me further illustrate this point by turning our attention to round islands in the Pacific.

3.3 Rokkenjima is other people: Reverse-engineering hell and the omnipresence of guides

Rokkenjima is an interesting stage for the violence of Ep1 to play out. As elaborated in sections 2.3 and 2.4, Rokkenjima can be read through an ecocritical and postcolonial lens, as an ecosystem upon which Krauss exerts capitalist logics and as a space which Kinzo uses as a miniature colony. But reading Umineko as a critical parody of the Divine Comedy, we also gain access to another understanding of Rokkenjima; as a twisted mixture of hell and purgatory. Hell and purgatory in the Divine Comedy have different, more specifically opposite, spatial structures. Divine Comedy Dante goes through hell by descending, going down each ring, narrower and lower than the one before. Reversely, he ascends purgatory by going up each ring, narrower and higher up than the one before, before reaching Eden – and Divine Comedy Beatrice – at the top. Such spatial trajectories also get mentioned in Umineko Ep1, but ultimately and immediately deconstructed. When the visitors arrive on the island, Battler comments upon the sloping path one has to take up from the landing pier to the mansion complex:

“A serpentine, twisting path led through a dim forest. It ran a bit uphill. I’d guess the path was made all twisty so the slope wouldn’t seem too steep, but personally, I’d have been happier if they’d had the guts to make some stairs in a straight line ......No doubt they made the path twist on purpose, to put on airs of distance and importance...”

One might read this path guests of Rokkenjima ascend through as part of the microcolonial architecture that is such an integral part of Kinzo’s and Krauss’ laying-claim to the island. One might also read Battler’s alternative as an expression of that same architectural hubris, as a disregard for the geological and structural reality of that stretch of Rokkenjima, because it remains to be questioned how intrusive a set of straight stairs[xxii] might have been in the context of the local landscape. But this spatiality may also be read in conjunction with the very first lines of Inferno:

“In the middle of the journey of our life, I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost.” (Alighieri/Turner 1320/1996, p. 27)

This entry of Divine Comedy Dante towards his journey into hell mirrors Battler’s monologue in a couple of ways. Whereas the difficulty of the paths in the Divine Comedy represent the theological difficulty of salvation, difficulties through which Divine Comedy Dante has to be lead by Divine Comedy Beatrice as the representation of perfected christian belief, Rokkenjima’s meandering paths, at least for now, represent both a nuisance to the characters and their unknowing physically ascent into a hell that will unfold around them soon. Whereas at the top of the winding path in Purgatorio, the Garden Eden awaits with Divine Comedy Beatrice ready to appear and take Divine Comedy Dante to the heavens, at top of the winding path in Umineko Ep1, the rose garden awaits with Golden Witch Beatrice ready to appear and murder everyone.

But this inversion and reconfiguration of spatiality is more than a singular instance of a mirror and parody of the Divine Comedy. Whereas Divine Comedy Dante has Virgil and then Divine Comedy Beatrice to explain to him all the minutiae and idiosyncrasies that govern the realms of the Divine Comedy, there is a distinct lack of a singular, final, authoritative voice explaining the idiosyncrasies of Umineko Ep1. This is not because guidance is absent in Umineko Ep1, rather the opposite: The omnipresence of contradicting, incomplete, and biased guides is what makes Umineko Ep1 so impassable on every narrative and metanarrative level. Battler seemingly guides the play-reader through most of the embedded narrative, but how much competence can one expect from a guide that uses the first moment of introspection the narrative provides to him to whine about how difficult it is to be a child born into unfathomable intergenerational wealth? What ability does Battler have to introduce us to the women of the embedded narrative when the first thing he does on multiple occasions is to joke about harassing them or come very close to actually doing it? When the Ushiromiya adults take over with the narration, how trustworthy are they? Can we believe the ultrarich capitalist to give us a proper account of how the servant’s social space functions? Can we trust the violent imperialist Kinzo to properly explain the functionings and logics of the occult to us? Umineko Ep1 is littered with instances of people speaking for other people, trying to explain what the true meaning of someone else’s words and actions and emotions is. The closest the player-reader comes to gaining a guide through Umineko Ep1 is only after having traversed the story, when Lady Bernkastel gently removes the fourth wall, turns it around, and fixes it in place again. But according to her own report, Lady Bernkastel uses the player-reader as a piece in a game to deal with her boredom; a move made out of pity and amusement. Is she the ultimate authoritative voice which may guide the player-reader through the narrative?

From the constant discussions of murder mystery novels in the embedded narrative, to the murder victims discussing the implications their deaths have on the genre in the first-order frame narrative, to the outright obliteration of the fourth wall in the second-order frame narrative: Umineko Ep1 brims with metanarrative commentary. By presenting us with a plethora of guides through this strange hell-purgatory of Rokkenjima and making each of them untrustworthy in the same moment, Umineko Ep1 engages in a permanent suspension of suspension of disbelief. The player-reader is supposed to engage with Umineko as a fictionalized narrative while remaining very aware that it functions as such. If my reading is to stand any ground, this is where the concept and figure of the witch begins to unravel.

3.4 Darkness, witches, angels, and the absence of a god: How to decipher Golden/Eternal Witch Beatrice as an anti-Beatrice

Reading Umineko as a parody and commentary on the Divine Comedy means that a lot of the motives and symbols of Umineko become very legible from the start, courtesy of the extensive symbolic lexicon employed by the Divine Comedy.Unfortunately, one of the most important symbolic figures of Umineko, the Witch, has no meaningful direct equivalent in the Divine Comedy. If we approach the witches in Umineko Ep1, we gain pitifully little information on what they are. The dramatis personae of the second-order frame narrative informs the player-reader when trying to set Eternal Witch Beatrice’s entry to dead that she can theoretically be destroyed, but not by means accessible to the player-reader. One of Lady Bernkastel’s lines implies that witches start off mortal but ascend to witchhood at some point and then are immortal. When Lady Bernkastel talks about what Eternal Witch Beatrice is, she says the following:

“Get what I mean? In other words, she’s not some Human. Her existence is a personification of the rules of this world. To beat her, you have to expose the rules of this world and unravel them.”

The key to witchhood, then, is closely linked with understanding the truth(s) of Umineko. Witches are also incapable of being harmed by material means (see Kanon’s and Natsuhi’s failed attempts to lash out at Golden Witch/Arisen Beatrice). They exist in a sort of immaterial, half-immortal state, in which they are closely linked to immaterial ideas and truth(s). You know which group of figures in the Divine Comedy exists in a sort of immaterial, half-immortal state, in which they are closely linked to immaterial ideas and truth? That’s right, you have read the title of this subsection: Angels. Alison Cornish explains the theological nature of angels, as interpreted by Dante and introduced into the Divine Comedy, as follows:

“Angels differ essentially from human beings in that they are separated substances—separated, that is, from matter [...] This separated state makes them purer and better receptors of intellectual substance. They are “intelligences” who feed on intellectual fare, namely, truth, and what Dante repeatedly calls the “bread of angels,” to which they have direct access but to which the philosophically inclined may also aspire” (p. 38)

I am not saying that witchhood in Umineko translates one-to-one into the notion of the angelic in the Divine Comedy. But there is no denying that the two direct allusions to Dante that Ryukishi07 placed in the first-order frame narrative are meant to create meaning, and the criticism of Dante’s obsession with Beatrice Portinari through Kinzo’s obsession with Umineko’s Historical Beatrice cannot be a coincidental reading. I also know from being slightly spoiled by Ozaawa that there will be a character named Virgilia later on, and I look forward to seeing what Ryukishi07 does with that character. My point in all of this is that those two texts clearly enter into a dialogue, and that dialogue allows me to use established readings of the Divine Comedy to unravel Umineko. Dante’s angels and Ryukishi07’s witches can be seen as entering a dialogue with one another.

Just as Dante places Divine Comedy Beatrice in close proximity to the angelic (see Cornish 2000, p. 37), Kinzo allows for Kinzo’s Portraitized Beatrice to be regarded as being in close proximity to witchcraft. Both Dante’s angels and Ryukishi07’s witches are complex allegorical figures that fulfill many roles and objectives at once. Whereas Divine Comedy Beatrice in her quasi-angelic state is identified with (reflecting) light as the central motive to stand for God (see Cornish 2000, p. 39), Golden Witch/Arisen Beatrice is associated with darkness. Both when she interacts with Kanon and Natsuhi, and when Sayo observes Golden Witch Beatrice way earlier in the story, the Beatrices stand cloaked in darkness to the point that the darkness becomes them, reciprocally personified. Golden Witch Beatrice is said to be the master of Rokkenjima at night, when the island is cloaked in darkness. Divine Comedy Dante can only ascend through purgatory during the day, when God’s light graces the island. If Divine Comedy Beatrice glows bright and is the light as she – like an angel – reflects God and God’s truth, Golden Witch Beatrice commands and laughs from the darkness in the absence of a God, and stands for a much more wordly truth, that of Kinzo’s violence.

Given that Lady Bernkastel tells us that Eternal Witch Beatrice is a personification of the rules of this world, and that this world of Umineko is deeply metanarrative, I propose a very theoretical early reading of what witches are in Umineko: Witches are allegorical representations of the fundamental forces and properties of a narrative. Eternal Witch Beatrice, so the second-order frame narrative, has the power to kill someone eternally, without fail, and yet fail does not exists in the realm of witches. I cannot explain every aspect of what is said in the second-order frame narrative through this reading, but: Let us reexamine the idea of narrative entrapment in immortality/death that has been explained in subsection 3.2 through the examination of the relationship between Beatrice Portinari and Divine Comedy. Is that constant denial of agency by assuming complete control over someone’s memory not a (metaphorical) way of killing someone over and over, given that death can be seen as the greatest possible loss of agency an individual can suffer through? Eternal Witch Beatrice's power, as explained in the second-order frame narrative, is one she has reappropriated from the abuser(s) of her namesake(s), namely, Dante and Kinzo, now wielding it as her own. In that sense, I find it fascinating how the epilogue of the embedded narrative stresses that the murders that have happened on Rokkenjima turn into an urban legend afterwards. The most important legacy the Ushiromiyas leave behind, the thing that they will always be associated with, is the mystery of their deaths that left them a puddle of gore on the grounds of Rokkenjima. Every time this urban legend is repeated again, the deaths repeat, and the Ushiromiyas are denied agency by becoming reduced to a singular aspect of their memory. If we read Eternal Witch Beatrice’s power as such, then the Rokkenjima murders become the ultimate act of retribution against Kinzo, one that forces him into the same fate as he forced upon Umineko’s Historical Beatrice.

We can further examine the figures of Beatrices in Umineko Ep1 through the lens of the Divine Comedy, as some miscellaneous symbols and points also connect. Kinzo wishes for nothing more than to see “Beatrice’s smile” again before he dies, a point he makes clear in the prologue/first scene and constantly repeats. Divine Comedy Dante is constantly reminded of his path to heaven and salvation when thinking about Divine Comedy Beatrice’s smile, and it is this smile she shows him when he arrives at the summit of purgatory (see the commentary in the translation by Turner 1990, p. 558). Divine Comedy Beatrice’s smile becomes a mark of salvation and the path to God. When Kinzo cries and shouts about “Beatrice’s smile”, it becomes a symbol of that absence of a divine presence, and, as he will not see “Beatrice’s smile” again, he does not find salvation, but death. Indeed, Umineko Ep1 seems to mock the christianized logics of punishment and salvation at multiple turns. The stakes that Eternal Witch Beatrice commands are ascribed to demons that stand for sins more or less appropriate for the people killed by the individual stakes.[xxiii] When finding the corpses of his deeply violent, mysogynistic father and the woman that enabled him at many turns, Battler wonders what they had ever done to deserve such a punishment. He repeats later that no one deserves such a fate. And, as Eternal Witch Beatrice makes clear in the first-order frame narrative, the stakes and the forces that wield them are supposed to forgive the sins – by killing the sinners. In this inherent violence, the Rokkenjima murders withdraw from the logics of christian salvation, just as much as Arisen Beatrice denies Kinzo her smile. There is no salvation, only death. Eternal Witch Beatrice does not seek out salvation for the Ushiromiyas (except Maria), she seeks revenge in the form of blood.

Another symbol to decipher is that of the butterflies. Golden Witch Beatrice is said to appear in the form of golden, glistening butterflies. Butterflies indeed appear in the Divine Comedy, namely, in a metaphorical role in the in Purgatorio.

“O proud Christians, woeful wretches, who sick in the mind's vision, place trust in backward steps, do you not see that we are worms born to form the angelic butterfly which flies to justice without shields? How is it that your spirit soars so high, when you are as imperfect insects, like the larva lacking its full formation?” (Alighieri 1320, as translated in Singleton 2019, p. 60-61)

Here, as explained in Turner’s commentary on his translation of Purgatorio, the butterfly is used in its capacity as an analogy for metamorphosis, a literary tradition reaching back to antiquity. More specifically, Turner further explains, it stands for “spiritual change as metamorphosis” (p. 171).[xxiv] It stands as a warning against pride (Singleton 2019, p. 61). In Dante’s usage, the butterfly stands for a yet-to-be-completed angelic spiritual transformation that is hindered by pride. In contrast, one could read the butterflies of Golden/Eternal Witch Beatrice as meaning that she has already undergone a transformation – not towards an angelic state, but towards witchhood, Umineko’s likely answer to Dante’s angels.[xxv] If Golden/Eternal Witch Beatrice is the swarm of butterflies, she has already metamorphosized; moved by a spiteful pride and wrath against the man who harmed Umineko’s Historical Beatrice, she has transformed by a logic completely opposite to that presented in the Divine Comedy. Once again, Umineko’s register of motives opposes its Divine Comedy counterparts in full force.

The last motive that I want to look towards in its interactions with (or rather against) the Divine Comedy is that of the “Golden Land”. In the Divine Comedy, the exact wording of “Golden Land” is never used, but it explicitly leans on the long-standing motive of the “Golden World” – one that is in Dante’s usage intrinsically tied to the idea of political order and stability acting as justice under the Roman Empire, as Robin Kirkpatrick explains (1990, p. 112-113). In other words, the logics of the Divine Comedy entangle ideas of political hierarchies, rule/ruling, spiritual ascension, justice, and Christianity under the concept of the “Golden World”.[xxvi] It is, also remarkably, situated partially on top of the mountain that is purgatory; the Garden Eden being a part and aspect of this concept (compare Kirkpatrick 1990, p. 112). The political order that houses and props up the mansion complex of Rokkenjima, Kinzo’s private and privatized Garden Eden, is completely unsettled and exposed as unjust by the forces that govern Eternal Witch Beatrice’s Golden Land. As Kirkpatrick once again elaborates:

“In canto XXVII of the Purgatorio, Virgil performs a verbal coronation in which Dante is declared to be at last free, upright, and whole, and thus fit to enter the Golden World.” (1990, p. 113)

Character’s aptitude for entering the “Golden Land” in Umineko Ep1 is indeed a topic brought up, but Dante’s equivalent – Kinzo – is made unfit to enter the “Golden Land” by death quite early on. Whereas Dante’s elaborated and detailed “Golden World” is a symbolic stabilization of spiritual and political practice at the time, Umineko Ep1’s is a vague threat and promise at the same time, one that symbolically destabilizes the ideological and political practice on Rokkenjima. In short, the ambiguous and so far not fully explained register of motives, symbols, and ideas surrounding Eternal Witch Beatrice stands as a rejection of Divine Comedy Beatrice and the literary trope Divine Comedy Beatrice became over the centuries.

3.5 Ave Maria: A short tangent on the role of motherhood and Christianity in Umineko Ep1

Not only the figure(s) of Beatrice(s) unravel through a closer reading of Umineko Ep1 alongside the Divine Comedy. If you are like me, you might have wondered early on what is going on not only with so many of the names being western, but also christian in origin, not even mentioning the crosses littering the outfits worn by several of the Ushiromiyas. One example that comes to mind, that unravels rather neatly, is Eva. Eva, the non-anglicized form of Eve, stands as a crude parody Christianity's human progenitor, first ever mother. Eva is the second human, if you so will, that Kinzo “created”, and is marked by a constant wrath for being locked out of first place. Through being the first to prolong the bloodline, she outperforms Natsuhi in the violently misogynistic structure of the family. Just as Eve makes Adam bite the apple, Hideyoshi merely follows Eva’s quest for the gold. In other words, Eva, a woman wielding misogyny against another woman, mirrors the foundational misogynistic trope of Christianity in name and in some of her relations to other characters.

But even more pronounced is the concentration on the concept of motherhood in Maria and her proximity to Beatrice – both in the Divine Comedy and Umineko Ep1. Mary is but the anglicized form of Maria, patron saint of motherhood, and one of the principal divine figures in catholicism. In the Divine Comedy, Divine Comedy Beatrice's closeness to Mary in the celestial rose, the symbolic seat of saints, underscores her exemplary nature as a pious woman and her allegorical role as divine wisdom and divine truth (for an explanation of this more analysis of Divine Comedy Beatrice and the celestial rose, see Singleton 2019, p. 61). In Umineko Ep1, it is Maria's closeness to Golden/Eternal Witch Beatrice that receives thematic meaning, when we read Beatrice as a marker of the worldly absence of the divine, as I have proposed, Maria's proximity to Beatrice means she is closest among all the characters to understanding the truth of the violence at hand. Whereas in catholicism, Mary is a symbol of divine grace in motherhood, Maria is the inverse, a symbol of the worldly pain in daughterhood. Mary nurtures Jesus, Maria is harmed by Rosa. Even the name Rosa reinforces Maria as an inversion of Mary. Roses have a long symbolic tradition in catholicism to refer to Mary, which is the reason a rosary is called a rosary, as the Latin word for rose garden. Which is the place in which the physical violence of Rosa against Maria takes place.

4. Recurrence, (in)justice, punishment, rage, catharsis, and torment through narrative (im)mortality: Trying to estimate the central themes of Umineko via Ep1

All this being said and analyzed, this leaves us with the question that started this essay, the question I directed at Umineko Ep1: What the fuck is going on here? In the introduction, I explained that I am interested in how much of Umineko you can solve within the information presented in Ep1, or as I named it, Umineko’s scholar’s mate. I also said that I am bad at murder mysteries and that I have no idea what is going on in the epitaph. Now, it has been a while since I started writing this essay, almost two months, and in the meantime, I have acquired the Answers Arc of Umineko on steam. And there, I was presented with a sentence that made things particularly interesting; it said something along the lines of “this will answer most of your questions, but you still have to solve the epitaph by yourself”. Now, I do not know if I read this sentence, this spoiler correctly; but to me, it implies that the canon text will never provide a singular, clear answer on what the epitaph riddle means.

The classical murder mystery systematically opens up several questions for the reader/viewer/player to answer, only to answer them all at the end, in an elegant fashion, perhaps to shine light on the clever detective character. Umineko Ep1 withdraws rather openly from the murder mystery genre. The logics by which a murder mystery novel operates are brought up even in the embedded narrative, where characters seem to be mostly oblivious to the fact that they exist within a story. Operating within these logics, something that Battler calls Game Theory in remembrance of a lesson Kyrie once gave him on chess, Battler tries to solve the story of Ep1 by rational means, and fails spectacularly[xxvii]. In the first-order frame narrative, i. e. the tea party, George concedes that magic must be real and at play, and that this story, which he then consciously recognizes as a story, can not be a classical murder mystery novel. Here is the thing: There is violence at play in Umineko Ep1, a lot of it, and they story tasks the player-reader with uncovering and understanding it; but, as I propose, the player-reader is not (entirely) supposed to solve the murders of the 4th and 5th of October 1986. The violence represented in the murder mystery genre is localized, individual; even in the most brutal crime novels, you have a couple dozen victims at best. When the seagulls cry (again), about 18-ish people lay dead in the embedded narrative. So far, this follows that general system of the murder mystery genre. But even with those 18-ish victims are difficult to fully keep apart; the murders happen in stages, people die in small numbers, one or only a handful at a time, and yet the player-reader has trouble following along. The fact that the number of victims alone is difficult to reconstruct points (intentionally, as I suppose in this reading) to the fact that the underlying violence of Umineko Ep1 cannot be represented in the murder mystery genre. Kinzo ascended to his position of head of the family, sole ruler of Rokkenjima, and multimillionaire by participating in imperialist-fascist projects. The estimated number of deaths associated with the Second Sino-Japanese war is around one order of magnitude larger than the number of words in the entirety of Umineko. In other words, listing but the name of every victim structurally connected with the historical violence in Ep1 would exceed the limits of the text itself. The logics of the traditional murder mystery genre (treating death and murder as localized and individual exceptions to a larger sense of peace and order) are fully incapable of adequately representing genocide, a mode of violence in which murder and death become collective, embedded, and structural.

Umineko Ep1 – and by my suggestion, all of Umineko – then becomes a tale of (meta)narrative violence, or how narratives can be mobilized in support and even creation of material, actualized violence. Multiple times, characters puppeteer the narrative of progress; Battler’s answer to the question how the murders might have happened if it were not for magic is to refer to technological progress. Multiple times, characters affirm the narrative that “modern times” are more logical, enlightened, progressed. All this they do while standing on a family fortune built on blood. It is the narrative of progress upon which the neoliberal ideology that builds up the family rests, an excuse, distraction, denial of the true origin of their status. Whereas Umineko’s Historical Beatrice, a woman harmed to no end by Kinzo, exists, the philosopher’s stone does not. The underlying implication of the epitaph is an alibi, a lie, a myth; Kinzo mobilizes the idea of the witch and magic to deny what he has truly done to acquire the gold. Maybe he has bought into his lies so much already that he has partially started to believe them himself.

The clues that the game lays out in the main menu might then be read as much more allegorical than to be taken at face value. The technical specifications of the Winchester M1894, like its fire rate and ammo capacity, might be less relevant to solving Umineko. It seems, at least to me so far, far more relevant to read the Winchester M1894 as a symbol for colonization and colonial inscription. In that, the detailed contents of the epitaph might become irrelevant to solving Umineko, and thus the epitaph has to be regarded as a clue in form of an analogy, an analogy for the lie of neoliberalism that anyone could gain fortune, an analogy for the nonsensical and empty narratives neoliberalism props up, an analogy for the Game Theory employed by capitalism. Perhaps the future episodes will reveal that trying to solve the epitaph at face value is a losing game. Indeed, maybe, its purpose is to create losers to its supposed game, because it might be this analogy for capitalism itself. As Jack Halberstam put it in 2011:

“Failure, of course, goes hand in hand with capitalism. A market economy must have winners and losers, gamblers and risk takers, con men and dupes; capitalism, as Scott Sandage argues in his book Born Losers: A History of Failure in America (2005), requires that everyone live in a system that equates success with profit and links failure to the inability to accumulate wealth even as profit for some means certain losses for others.” (p. 88)

In that sense, people losing to the epitaph is a necessary component to the money roulette as well as the demon’s roulette. I have no certain idea why Kinzo has put up the epitaph in the first place. Perhaps he genuinely believes he has cracked a dark magic code. Maybe he believes it. Maybe he does not. All I know for certain is that I will not solve the epitaph any time soon; perhaps that is the entire point of it, perhaps not.

Eternal Witch Beatrice claws her way out of (and then back into) several narratives, within the text and outside of it. She is vengeance personified, an answer for Beatrice Portinari and Umineko’s Historical Beatrice, women eternally entrapped in narratives created and maintained by men many times more powerful than them. Both Kinzo and Dante puppeteer their respective narratives of Beatrices to create and maintain their legacy. And in both instances, this violence repeats and echoes in recurrence. Violent systems of control are more likely to transform and stay nearly as violent than they are to dissolve. The Ushiromiya children repeat the sins of their parents, and their parents repeat the sins of their father. Like the musical format of the Rondo that one of the subtitles of Umineko mentions, this violence is going to be picked up again and again and again in future Episodes. Every time, it will be varied a little bit. Move back to the 3rd of October and change a couple of factors, and the violence that is the Ushiromiya family is likely to resurface again, just in a different iteration. No matter which iteration of chess moves one looks at, the players will likely aim to reduce the other’s material advantage and number of pieces; the Ushiromiyas are destined to destroy each other over and over and over again in the gamified violence of imperialist and colonial capitalism. This violence repeats synchronically and diachronically; who even needs a magical time loop when imperialism and the patriarchy and capitalism are so cyclical in nature?

Ultimately, though, I know that Umineko is a hopeful story. Ozaawa told me that the central sentence they see in Umineko is “without love, it cannot be seen”. I do not know the context in which this sentence appears, but there is a thematic equivalent in Ep1, namely, a challenge Kyrie places into the logics of Game Theory:

“Events in the world of humans are normally full of noise. Aren’t human emotions that way? Even if the exact same thing occurs more than once, there’s no guarantee that humans will always act in a predictable fashion.”

Whereas the world of witches – the realm of narratives and their powerful implications – operates on strange but fixed rules and semi-random but calculable probabilities, humans have the capacity to defy odds. Whereas it is likely that systems of violence permute throughout generations, there is always hope to be had that the human heart can ultimately defy these systems. The chance of breaking the cycle is always non-zero. That being explained, I love Eternal Witch Beatrice.[xxviii] Her struggle to defy all the narrative entanglements she was and is trapped in, her incredibly human feelings, her desire for autonomy and agency, are to me the core of the story, and what motivated me to write these thousands upon thousands of words.

5. On chess openings, or: What I still can’t explain

Here is the thing: All of this is a lot, many thousand words in fact, of speculation and half-baked theorizing. This is a reading, not the reading; I can’t even begin to fathom what this story is once the player-reader completes it. Even if I am to be right and the epitaph does not solve in a singular, meaningful, truthful way, there are still so many things I can not explain. Maybe I am completely wrong on many, if not all accounts. It would be awfully convenient for the lesbian that is bad at murder mysteries if solving Umineko under the classical logics of murder mysteries is intentionally impossible; perhaps I have misunderstood so much that I have deluded myself into thinking that such is a valid reading. I still hope this essay is an entertaining practice in trying to closely read Ep1 of Umineko without knowing all too much about the future episodes.

After finishing Ep1 for the first time, I formulated some questions I could not answer, but that I thought important to answer:

- What was the role of Rokkenjima between 1923 and 1945?

- What is the original contract made between Kinzo and Beatrice somewhere in this time? Does it even exist?

- What kind of interest can Beatrice collect on the gold when Kinzo got it from collaborating with imperialist fascism or even engaging in it?

I think they still hold value to ask, though some answers I have already partially established. And, I think this should be added:

- Why did Rudolf rightfully report in advance that he would die during the night?

- What is a witch?

And, this is still a burning question of mine: How did pochapal solve much of this story very early on? What the fuck is even going on?

6. Citations

Alighieri, D. (1996). Divine Comedy: Inferno (R. Turner, Trans.). Oxford UP. (Original work published around 1320).

Cornish, A. (2000). Angels. In R. Lansing (Ed.) Dante Encyclopedia (1st ed., pp. 37-45).

Halberstam, J. (2011). The Queer Art of Failure. Duke UP.

Howie, C. (2021). Bodies on Fire. In M. Gragnolati et al (Eds.), The Oxford Handbook of Dante (pp. 494–509). Oxford UP.

Kirkpatrick, R. (1990). Dante' s Beatrice and the Politics of Singularity. Texas Studies in Literature and Language 32(1), 101-119.

Lewis, R. W. B. (2001). Dante's Beatrice and the New Life of Poetry. New England Review 22(2), 69-80.

Lowe, D. (2016, April 17). The Rise and Unravelling of the Hachijo Royal Hotel. Ridgelineimages. https://ridgelineimages.com/haikyo/unravelling-of-the-hachijo-royal-hotel/.

Mazzotta, G. (2000). Alighieri, Dante. In R. Lansing (Ed.) Dante Encyclopedia (1st ed., pp. 15-20).

Schlingen, B. D. (2021). The East. In M. Gragnolati et al (Eds.), The Oxford Handbook of Dante (pp. 383–398). Oxford UP.

Singleton, C.S. (2019). Journey to Beatrice. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins UP doi:10.1353/book.68489.

Waller, M. (2021). A Decolonial Feminist Dante: Imperial Historiography and Gender. In M. Gragnolati et al (Eds.), The Oxford Handbook of Dante (pp. 701–718). Oxford UP.

7. End notes

[i] Citation needed.

[ii] This overly detailed descriptions is not setting up a point I want to make way later, do not worry about it.

[iii] For anyone still confused, here is the dramatis personae broken down in non-linear order: Kinzo is the head of the family. Krauss is Kinzo’s eldest child, Krauss’ wife is Natsuhi, and their one child together is the teenager Jessica. Eva is Kinzo’s second child, she married Hideyoshi, and they had one son, George, a young adult, together. Rudolf is Kinzo’s third child, he had a son named Battler, 18 years old, and later married Kyrie, his former secretary. Kinzo’s youngest child is Rosa, her child with an unknown person is the nine-year old Maria. The servants are Genji, trusted head servant, Godha, renowned cook and newest member of the servants, Kumasawa, an old woman and long-time servant at the household, Kanon, barely a child, and Sayo, another very young servant. Doctor Nanjo hangs out on the island as well.

[iv] This overly detailed descriptions is not setting up a point I want to make way later, do not worry about it.

[v] This overly detailed descriptions is not setting up a point I want to make way later, do not worry about it.

[vi] Death count: 6.

[vii] Death count: 8.

[viii] Death count: 9.

[ix] Death count: 10.

[x] Death count: 13.

[xi] Death count: 14.

[xii] Death count: Everyone? 14-18?

[xiii] This overly detailed descriptions is not setting up a point I want to make way later, do not worry about it.

[xiv] Death count: Who knows.

[xv] Slight hyperbole.

[xvi] Which in Battler’s internal monologue narration gets placed as follows: “The Great Kanto Earthquake happened in Taisho 13 (1924) [...]”. Now, Taishō 13 is 1924, that much is correct, but the one major earthquake of the era I could identify is firmly located in September 1923, indeed being called the Great Kantō earthquake in many sources. This could mean several things; perhaps I am bad at research, perhaps the translation made a mistake somehow, perhaps it took Kinzo a year to assume the position of the head of the family after the earthquake, or maybe this is intentional by the author to make the reader question Battler’s authority in narrating the past.

[xvii] Frankly I forgot which one. Sorry :(

[xviii] The well-read observer might now think “Kassandra how the fuck did you instantly remember Virgil as a character of the Divine Comedy but not Beatrice”, to which I would like to respond with one of Patrick Star’s most famous aphorisms: The inner machinations of my mind are indeed an enigma.

[xix] “Literary canon”, not to be confused with “literary Kanon”.

[xx] “Western church canon”, not to be confused with “western church Kanon”.

[xxi] I personally remember reading Dan Brown‘s Inferno as a teenager, where in typical Dan Brown fashion, the woman becomes an object to be taken by the wisdom of the middle-aged academic white man; and I am pretty certain the idea of her being “a Beatrice” runs throughout the text as much as allusions to Dante and his work.

[xxii] “Straight stairs”, not be confused with “gay stares”, which is what I do whenever Eternal Witch Beatrice is onscreen.

[xxiii] Eva got killed by the stake of Asmodeous, who stands for lust. The last time Eva is seen alive is when she is very very horny towards Hideyoshi. Hideyoshi, a capitalist invested in the food distribution business, is killed by the stake of Beelzebub, the demon responsible for gluttony. Kinzo, the ultrarich capitalist, is killed by the stake of Mammon, the demon of greed. Kanon dies wrathful, lashing out at the darkness, and is killed by the stake of Satan, demon of wrath. Genji, proud of his servant role and the trust Kinzo places in him, is killed by the stake of Lucifer, demon of pride. Doctor Nanjo, a man who reacted to all the death and blood around him by freezing in place and barely reacting at all, is killed by the stake of Belphegor, who stands for sloth. Kumasawa dies by the stake of Leviathan, who stands for envy – I am unable to fully decipher that one. Maybe she felt excessive envy for the safety that those who were barricaded in the study found themselves in.

[xxiv] You might be wondering why I am using one translation while using another translation’s commentary to analyze the quote. The answer is simple; I liked the one translation more from its poetic execution.

[xxv] The butterfly as a symbol for Eternal Witch Beatrice also takes on another role; I cannot quote this enough, as stated by Ozaawa 2023: “Beato trans.”

[xxvi] This is so tangential I dare not even put it in the main text, but Dante’s fascination with the Roman empire might tie back into his political support of the Holy Roman empire and the figure of the Holy Roman emperor, a political entity that claimed to be a direct heir to the Roman empire. The imperial symbol of the Holy Roman empire and emperors is the two-headed, two-winged eagle. In my deliberations on the symbolic implications on the One-Winged (and one-headed) Eagle, I have yet to resolve a direct connection to any real world symbol, and the Holy Roman empire is the closest node of possible connection my brain can come up with. However, I assume that it is completely unrelated.

[xxvii] Failing spectacularly is kind of Battler’s entire modus operandi, if you think about it.

[xxviii] And not just because its t4t. But also because it is t4t.

#kassandra plays umineko #umineko spoilers #umineko #I appreciate all the kind words in the comments and reblogs and DMs :) thank you all

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