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oftenderweapons · 3 years

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hello 👀 first of all i love your writing. second of all idk if you saw joon’s make up artist reaching up to him to fix his makeup on set but i could think about vixen bc we all know how volatile and jealous she may get.... so may i suggest a joon x vixen jealous sex drabble??? thank u!!!

Hello, dear reader. Thank you soooo much for the compliments. I couldn’t help but deliver, it literally wrote itself. There you go 💜✨

title: yours, truly

pairing: namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

wordcount: 2.7k

genre: smut, fluff, established relationship

rating: 18+, minors do not interact

synopsis: Vixen doesn't appreciate the imbalance between her belonging to Namjoon and his belonging to her, and although she understands the limits due to his job, at the same time she's uncomfortable about the way she feels. However, Namjoon is eager to reassure her.

trigger warnings: argument on jealousy and double standards. There is one very specific passage where Namjoon imposes himself physically on Vixen, grabbing her and pinning her while she's trying to get away from him. If this triggers you, please do not read further. On to sexual topics: mention of cunnilingus, masturbation (male and female receiving), unprotected sex (BE SMART!!!!!!), marking, power struggle, several occurrences of pinning and top-bottom shifts.

a/n: Hello people, here's the first of several drabbles I've been working on. Please, stay tuned cause HOPEFULLY Jimin and Princess should be next 💖

Here's my masterlist enjoy 💜✨

⁂ ⁕ ⁂ ⁕ ⁂ ⁕ ⁂ ⁕ ⁂ ⁕ ⁂ ⁕ ⁂

You stormed into the apartment, Namjoon hot on your heels.

“Vixen,” he called, watching you take off your shoes with a frown on your face. “Babylove.”

You lifted a finger, inviting him to keep quiet before you stood and headed to your room.

“Vixen?” he called, once more. He knew what had happened, and he knew you didn't mean to act like that. He knew you didn't like feeling jealous or possessive, but the footage of him wrapping an arm around his makeup artist — even if it was just to keep her from falling — had unsettled you more than you wanted to admit.

There were women who dried his sweat and helped him change his clothes and saw him half naked regularly, and they were out there doing so publicly, while you didn't even own a picture of him kissing you. After being together for six months. After him asking you to be his wife.

To anyone except his friends and family, you were nothing but a stranger to him.

“Vixen?”

You were his. Always. All the time. You wore his clothes and had his marks on you from Monday to Sunday, twenty-four seven, uninterruptedly ever since he'd first told you he loves you — with an unintended pause because of the tour.

But what about him? Did he even belong to you?

He called your name shyly, fearsomely. “Look at me, please.”

“I'm going to take a bath,” you announced dryly.

“I'm coming with you,” he replied, already taking off his clothes.

“I want to be alone.”

He inhaled and did the crudest, most animalistic thing he could think of. He grabbed your waist and made you face him. “Vixen. Look at me.”

You shook your head and tutted.

“Say 'no' and I'll let you go,” he said, his voice booming like thunder.

You stayed silent.

“Look at me,” he repeated, an arm around your waist, his free one coming up so he could grip your chin and force your eyes to meet his. “Like this.”

“I hate this!” you spat, looking away right before he forced you to meet his eyes again. “It's not fair!” You snarled before angrily pushing the heel of your foot against his toes.

He hissed and let you go, only to catch you once more half a second later, pinning you against the wall. “Talk to me.”

Your brow furrowed, your eyes like a dark storm, you looked at the floor as you admitted, “I have no right to feel jealous. And I hate it. It’s not fair.”

Namjoon hugged you to him, kissing your head as you pressed your forehead to his chest.

“I’m so sorry, I just… hate that you make me feel like this. It’s not you, it’s how I feel about what you do. That is, the position you’re in.” You bit your lip nervously, gripping his shirt in your fists.

Namjoon didn’t quite understand what you meant by that, but reversing the situation gave him a quite poignant point of view. The idea of you being chaperoned by other men at all time, of you being in his shoes, with people drooling over you at all times, being backstage and having no privacy with or without your clothes on, people imagining you as their partner, as their hot one night stand, as their one true love.

The thought of having to share you the same way you had to share him all the time made a shiver run down his spine. He knew he would never be able to tolerate all the things you went through for him without batting an eye. “I’m so sorry, love.” He ran his hands to the back of your thighs lowering himself to pick you up, your arms latching behind his neck as he did so. “I’m so, so sorry, little fox,” he repeated, his voice so deep and soothing.

“I’m okay, it’s just that…”

He kissed your cheek as he sat on the bed, placing you on top of him, straddling his hips. “You’re not okay, and that’s alright.” He waited for you to oppose as he let his lips linger one millimeter from yours.

Shyly, almost as if reluctantly, you pressed your mouth to his, feeling his hand on your nape, tangling in your hair, the other one pressed to the small of your back. “Take off your clothes, please,” you whispered in between kisses. Unquestioningly, he took off his undershirt, your body still on top of his while you undid the buttons of your blouse — actually, only a couple of them before you slipped it off from over your head. Namjoon’s hands went around your waist, lifting the lace and satin top you were wearing underneath, pressing his nose to your sternum once your torso was so enticingly naked, your body rising to your knees so he could reach your breastbone more comfortably, your arms hugging his head.

“You’re so precious, my babylove. So strong,” he murmured, “You’re so understanding and I’m so glad when you open up to me.” He inhaled you as he confessed some more of his worries, “I always fear that someday it will feel too much and you’ll leave.”

You shook your head, squishing his face in your palms before standing before him, taking off your jeans lightning-fast, watching him quickly remove his slacks and underwear in one go.

“Come claim it, babe,” he growled, extending his hands to you, making a come-hither motion.

You wiggled out of your panties and smiled sweetly, joining him, sitting on his lap and batting your eyelashes with a cute pout, Namjoon shaking his head at you with a knowing grin. And at that, you placed your hands on his shoulders and pushed him down. “You really thought?”

He licked his lips and rolled his eyes. “I, at least, hoped.” His hands landed on your ass before you could grab his wrists and pin them above his head while you made your way up, your naked fold glistening with wetness already in the unforgivingly bright light of your bedroom.

You knew he had a thing for keeping the lights on anyways.

“Come on, sit,” he said, his arms fighting you only playfully as he ached to grab your ass and make you ride his face.

“No.” Your reply was lapidary as your free hand began to tease the skin around your sex — not yet your folds, nor your clit,

“Vixen.” Your name sounded like a warning.

“Maybe you’ll learn I can do without you.”

“Enough,” he growled before his arms escaped your weak excuse of a grip, his jaw locked and his eyes stern in what would be nothing but his hard dom look. “You think you’re funny?”

The way he pushed you with your back to the mattress, your arms trying to save you from losing your balance, made your heartbeat flutter.

“You think I don’t know that already? You think that doesn’t scare me to the bone?” He hissed as he laid on top of you, holding back his weight only slightly. “We know who can do without who here,” he said, his eyes so tormented you wanted to comfort him. “I’m half a soul without you.”

You wrapped your legs around him, rubbing your pelvis against his hardening cock. “Stay with me, then. Remind me.” You placed your lips against his neck, licking up the curve of his throat before bringing your lips to his ear. “Are you mine, Joonie?”

His eyes rolled shut, his head moving in a nodding motion. “I only want to be yours. All the time. I wish we could be naked and alone every single second.”

You giggled and moved your hand between your bodies. “Can I stretch a little? I need you inside.”

“Do you want me to do that?” He asked, right before you shook your head. “Fuck, ____, you're fucking perfect,” he murmured, kissing down your body, licking your nipple, sucking it briefly. “I'm so in love.”

“Do you remember what I told you that night?” you asked him, purring as you pushed two fingers inside you.

“That you're gonna be my wife, someday?”

You chuckled and nodded. Sometimes it felt unreal that he had proposed to you. Already.

And that the ring around your right fourth finger was not your family ring.

“I told you I'm dedicating my life to you. That I want to live by your side for as long as we can. That I believe in you.”

He found solace in the crook of your neck, his lips searching for your collarbone before his teeth nibbled at it gently. “Don't stop. Ever.”

A third finger entered your hole, stretching your inner walls until you were comfortable. Still, you were too impatient to wait any longer, grabbing his cock and placing its tip against your folds. “I won't,” you promised, a loud gasp leaving your mouth as he sank in. “Fuck, too big.”

Namjoon backtracked as quickly as possible, but your hands stopped him just in time. “No, no, stay inside, please. I can get used to it.” Your nails sunk into his ass. “Don't go. Please.”

Namjoon inhaled, trying to keep his cool as much as possible. “I should have prepped you.” He groaned and pressed your face into his neck. “Hold tight, love. I need to shift just a little.”

You loved when he pampered you like that, when he treated you like his delicate porcelain doll. With a loud exhale, he fixed his position until he could rest more easily and resist your tight squeezes as you adjusted to him filling you to the brim. In maybe a minute, you shifted your hips, whispering, “Okay, move, please.”

“That's my good girl,” he replied, smiling at you before giving one slow, smooth stroke that made you purr and throw your head back, his tongue drawing the arch of your throat. “My jealous little thing, mh? You're so adorable.” He gave another deep, slow thrust, watching you writhe below him, legs shaking as they tensed up in pleasure. And then again, pulling out and pushing in making your toes curl, your entire mind malfunctioning into bliss.

“I love it when you're jealous,” he taunted you. “Makes me feel so wanted.” He drew the shell of your ear with his lips, your body drowning in sensations, too small to handle all he had to offer. “Almost as sexy and as desirable as you are. My little fox.”

“Joonie…” you almost sobbed, clawing at his shoulders before remembering you must absolutely not, throwing your hands off him and tugging at the sheets.

Namjoon nuzzled his nose against the side of your face. “Scratch, mark, bite. I don't care. I'm yours, Vixen.”

You whimpered and forced yourself not to. Maybe you just wanted to see who would cave first, maybe you were still feeling too petty about all the times you had been denied.

“Do it. I know you want it,” he tempted you. “Take what you want, little fox.”

You shook your head and brought yourself not only to pin your hands in place, but also turn your face away.

Namjoon rammed into you aggressively at your act of defiance, causing you to gasp and flinch. “Claim me. Do it, ____. I belong to you. Won't you acknowledge that?”

Lips sealed, eyes closed, you fought him, knowing you were absolutely hopeless the moment he pulled you on top of him. “See. This is what you do to me. Look at me. Look at the mess I become for you. For you, alone. No one else in the whole world, Vixen. Only you.” He led his hand on your belly, rubbing at your clit with his thumb, letting you grind on him with your own pace. He only wanted to make you feel good. “Vixen, please, baby. Look at me.

Slowly, you opened your eyes, your hands on his pectorals, your hips moving on him so naturally, so comfortably. He looked beautiful. Grandiose. Magnificent.

He looked like the only man you would ever look at. You knew there was no way you would look at anyone else if he was in the room.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked fondly, placing his hand atop of yours, lacing your fingers together.

“That you're the only one for me. That I need something of you that belongs to me alone.”

He shifted your hands slightly, his engulfing your own on top of his beating heart. “Here. Yours. All yours. Take it.”

You started going faster, needing for the messy ordeal to come to an end so you could sleep the afternoon away wrapped up in his arms.

With quick swivels of your hips, you changed your angle, making sure that he rubbed against your sweet spot, deep inside you.

“Guess what else is yours?” he teased, looking down, keeping his finger steady against your sensitive nub.

“Your exceedingly large dick?” you suggested with a gleam in your voice, sending the both of you into a tumble of laughs.

“Exactly,” he replied playfully. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” you replied quickly, feeling your high spiral out of control. “Cumming.”

“Let go,” he reassured you, catching you with his arm once your body collapsed, his thumb still teasing you while he started thrusting from below, making sure that your orgasm peaked and extinguished in pleasure before he finally climaxed, knowing all too well that your final squeezes would trigger his own ecstasy.

“Doesn't it feel good to cum on your favourite dick, mh?”

“My one and only,” you stated openly, watching him get increasingly worked up. “Show me who you belong to, Joon. You say you're mine? Then cum inside me.”

He shut his eyes tight. “Come on. Gimme all you've got,” you taunted him.

He grit his teeth and shook his head. He needed better leverage to go harder.

You understood that immediately. “Wanna get on top?”

He was conflicted, but in the end you found yourself with your back once more to the mattress, his cock pushing inside you so hard and fast that you were ready to start all over again if it weren't for the numbing sleepiness pulling at your mind.

“I'm yours,” he gritted out, in between strokes, like a mantra. “Get it into your pretty head that I'm yours. That I only want you. For the rest of my life,” he breathed out the final part. “I'm gonna—” and with a wildly erotic growl you felt him swell inside you before his release flowed into you, his body too sensitive to handle the high for too long.

Once he was done, there was nothing but spent, panting bodies, your hand in his hair as you helped him calm down.

“Are you feeling better, little fox?” he asked, taking your joined hands and bringing your knuckles to his lips. “If we swapped roles for a day, you the idol and I the normal person, I don't think I would be able to face it like you do.”

With your eyes closed, you waited for him to pull the two of you on your sides, your head on his chest, legs tangled together as he rubbed his feet against yours lazily and lasciviously.

“I know you don't like feeling jealous and I'm sorry that I made you feel that. You always say it's part of my job and you're understanding, but we both know it's hard to stop these emotions from happening.”

You nodded, inhaling his scent, so deeply mixed with yours. “It's worth it though. Because of the man you are, and what you mean to me.”

He kissed your head.

“I need to clean up. I want to sleep with you.”

He nodded. You were both more than happy to cancel the date and just sleep in, wrapped up in light sheets on the late September day.

Once washed and ready for sleep, Namjoon found your perfect position, your right hand in his left one as he toyed with your ring, pushing it around. Even though he had proposed, he knew the wait would be long. Still, he tried. “How much time left?” he asked, the question a cliché between the two of you by now. You always knew what it meant to him.

“A while,” you replied — your usual answer.

He nodded and pulled you closer. “Sleep tight, baby fox.”

“Sleep tight, big bear.”

#namjoon smut #namjoon fluff #namjoon x reader #namjoon drabble #kim namjoon fanfiction #namjoon x yn #namjoon x vixen #thebtswritersclub #houseofddaeng #thetruthuntoldnet #52hertz #bangtansorciere

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years

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FFT: If I Loved You Less I Could Talk About It More

Hey haii. Soooo.. This is kind of a follow up to the one I answered last night - I know right, it’s about goddamn time. Again, I’m so, so so so so sorry. I really am. - which can be found [ here] if you want to backtrack and read that so this one maaaybe makes sense bc I cannot entirely vouch that it does in fact make sense without the one I just linked above.

I had such a blast writing this and I am kinda v. happy with the way it came out even if it’s just a little weird? I’m starting to dig first person.

TAGGING:

Jon Moxley isn’t a talker by any stretch of the word. He’s more of a doer. The words, without actions behind them, are hollow and meaningless to him.

I’ve known this for a while now. It’s not hard to figure out about him at all. It’s actually kind of obvious and definitely something one can appreciate about the man, when he’s not driving them to the goddamn brink of insanity.

What I can’t figure out is why in the seven blue hells he’s suddenly being so nice to me. Up to our encounter in the elevator a few weeks back? Guy hated me.

I was nothing to him, just some poor little princess trapped in an ivory tower. Or a toy, only meant to be played with. He’s openly said as much on numerous occasions.

Lately, it seems as if everywhere I am, he’s there. Arms crossed, all brooding and angry in some back corner, tapping his foot impatiently or holding up his wrist to indicate passage of time, kind of like some grumpy bodyguard or god forbid, a chaperone... Or sitting ringside, watching whatever match I happen to be in, a smirk on his face the entire time.

Literally no one can get me to themselves because of this... Especially not Maxwell, which believe me, the pathetic prick has actually been dumb enough to try and do, on more than one occasion. You’d think me, throwing the shit he left at my place into the pool below my balcony would’ve been a really clear hint I was absolutely fucking done being his late night booty call. Nope, apparently not.

But back to Mox, though. Mox is the reason I’m torn between anger and sheer unbridled sexual frustration as of late, and here’s why...

I don’t know what bothers me more… the fact that I can’t figure out why he gives a damn, - or if he even does, who knows with that guy? - or the fact that deep down, it secretly turns me on. I’ve never really had someone just… attach themselves to me willingly, for lack of a better term.

But then, tonight… Tonight, Maxwell managed to get me to myself, corner me up backstage.

His eyes darted around the hallway. “Look at this. You drove away your self appointed guard dog. Are you ready to admit you miss all of this, kitten?”

“Did hell freeze over in the last ten minutes, Maxwell?”

“I’m the best you’re gonna have. This bizarre thing you and Mox have going on is just you, passing time. C’mon, kitten. Think about it. Do you really think he’s capable of half the things I could give you?”

“He’s got a cock, so I mean… yeah. Pretty much the only thing you were good for was sex when the batteries to my vibrator died.”

He eyed me. For a split second I smirked because it almost seemed as if I hurt him with my words. I know better than that, but I needed my moment of victory. Then he stepped closer, a hand ghosting down my side. “You know you want me back. You need me, princess.”

“I don’t need anybody, actually.” I corrected, feigning a yawn and rolling my eyes at Maxwell.

“Right, that’s why you’re letting Mox follow you around.” the sour expression on his face as he looked at me was worth a million words. But I rolled my eyes and reminded myself that the only reason he’s even choosing this hill to die on is because I ditched him first and in Maxwell’s mind? That’s a no go.

I know his type well. I was brought up with them. Bunch of mouth breathing elitist bitch boys. I’ve realized since our thing ended that Maxwell -and pretty much any man of his type, they aren’t what I want anymore. I don’t know what I do want, true but… I have a very clearly defined idea of what I don’t want and won’t fuck with or tolerate now.

“No, I’m not letting him do anything, everybody knows Mox does exactly what Mox wants. However, I’m not stopping him, either. Maybe he has me curious. Maybe, Maxwell,” I leaned in a little, lowering my voice and laughing softly as I continued, “Maybe I’m tired of being goddamn bored to death by prissy little bitch ass pretty boys. Besides, in the end, guys like you always leave. Your type are dogs. Always looking to get your dick wet and moving on once you find a sparkly new bitch you can wrap around your finger and bend to your will... Maybe I want more. Something real. Maybe Mox could be that. Maybe, Maxwell.. Maybe I want him. That’s really what burns you up, isn’t it?” I hoped he’d get the point, or get bored, and fuck off and away.

Naturally, he didn’t. And he started to talk himself up all over again. Tried reminding me of his version of our ‘good times.’

I gave an annoyed snort and butted in. “Says the man who refused to take me anywhere. Who insisted we couldn’t be seen together. Why the hell do you think I’d even begin to want you back? Sex was all you could offer and frankly? I’ve had better.”

He swore and glared at me angrily.

“You’re a fucking bitch.”

“May be. But I’m not a dumb bitch anymore, now am I?” I said it in a mock sweet tone, laughing at him as I turned and prepared to walk away.

“I was done with you anyway. I just wanted to give you one last chance to see reason.”

I held up my middle finger at him as I walked away, backwards. When I crashed into someone, I turned around, a glare at the ready.

Mox was smirking down at me. As his eyes roamed my body slowly, I felt something shifting in the dynamic between us. And it hit me then… That stuff I said to Maxwell?

I wasn’t just saying it.

I actually fucking meant it. With every single fibre of my being.

I gulped under his intense round of eye-fucking and i did my best to stay calm. To not be so obvious at the way my thighs clenched and god forbid, remember to breathe. He stepped closer, rough hand grasping at my hip, hauling me against him.

“Did I not tell ya to stay in the fuckin locker room? He only gets to ya because ya fuckin let him, woman. Then again,” Mox muttered in a dry tone, “You’d argue with a fuckin brick wall, I think. Stay here.”

His firm tone didn’t do anything to help out the situation I found myself in currently, dripping wet and so frustrated by what I’d just figured out that I honestly just wanted to shove him against a wall and rip off his clothes.

He eyed me, a brow raised. “The fuck is that little smirk for, huh?”

“Oh, nothing.” I shrugged, giggling.

“Stay here.” he repeated, even more firmly this time, stepping so close to me that he towered over me and our bodies brushed against each other lightly.

Jesus, the way it felt, lightly pressed against him.

He spent a second or two grumbling and glaring, then he turned and stormed off, right through the curtains separating the back of the arena from the front.

It hit me then, MJF had just gone down. Literally just. As in he was still walking down the runway.

Curious, I made my way over to the curtains, pulling them just so that I could peek through a little and when I saw it, I barely restrained a whimper… I could hear every single word Mox said as he lunged at Maxwell from behind.

And it had me fidgeting, pacing the hallway and trying to puzzle out just what the hell was going on the entire time Mox was down in the ring, beating Maxwell’s ass all around it.

Mox stormed back through the curtains and I didn’t think, I just ran. Climbing the man like a tree, dragging my fingers over his close shaven scalp and wrapping my legs around him tight. He growled, nearly dropped me, but I felt his fingertips digging into my body and he staggered back a little, putting my back against the wall.

“This mean you’re ready for a real man, princess?” his voice a low husky growl against my lips as I smirked against his mouth and nodded my head, pressing my forehead against his.

“It took me a while to figure you out, Mox… But now, I think I know exactly what you’re all about. So yes.. to answer your question, maybe I am ready for a real man, Mox.”

“Oh you do, huh? Gonna explain or do I gotta guess?” he smirked back.

“I like it better this way. Actions are better than words. Less talking, Mox. More kissing.” I breathed against his mouth, rubbing myself against him as he carried me towards the door leading out into the arena parking lot...

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hiddlydiddly · 5 years

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Soooo.... this is a thing that happened. Got inspiration from this post by @writerofberk. It’s not great but I wrote it and that’s that.

Bad Things Happen Bingo - Left for Dead

Fandom: Merlin

ao3 | ffn

It's the perfect opportunity.

Merlin would be out in the forest picking herbs for Gaius, completely alone. There would be no witnesses, so when, if his body is found it would be assumed that bandits had done it. No one would ever suspect Arthur's own uncle. Still, normally Agravaine wouldn't take such a risk, if it weren't for how angry, how frustrated, how impatient Morgana was becoming, so much so that Agravaine was beginning to fear for his own life. Every plan, every meticulously thought out plan foiled and at the centre of it all was that stupid bumbling manservant.

He needed to be gotten rid of.

So he followed Merlin out into the forest, hatred boiling up as he watched from afar, Merlin humming a little tune, a guileless little smile on his too thin face as he enjoyed the sunshine and the fresh air. Agravaine’s grip tightened on his sword, clenching almost painfully. How such an idiot could be such a nuisance he didn't know. Not that it would matter for much longer.

Agravaine crept up behind Merlin, sword drawn, as the boy is knelt on the ground, busy with his duty of slowly filling his basket with various flowers and plants. A loud snap from a twig underfoot and Merlin stills, starts to turn around, and Agravaine rushes forward.

There's a soft whuff sound as all the breath is knocked out of Merlin, and he looks down at the sword tip poking out through his chest.

Agravaine pulls his sword back, Merlin being dragged back with it for a bit before it finally is free from his chest and he falls back onto the ground, his panicked eyes darting back and forth before settling on Agravaine standing above. It's almost funny how shocked he looks, blood bubbling out of his mouth, and Agravaine smirks, leaning down to clean his sword off on Merlin’s shirt.

Agravaine leaves Merlin there on the ground, curled up and gasping in pain, and heads back to Camelot.

It's late in the evening when Arthur storms up to him, brow furrowed with annoyed anger and what Agravaine knows to be well hidden concern, not that he would ever understand why Arthur cares so much about a servant.

"Uncle," Arthur calls out and Agravaine turns to him with a smile. "You wouldn't happen to know where my useless, good for nothing servant has gone off to, would you?"

Agravaine rearranges his face into a look of concern.

"Unfortunately I don't," he says. "Have you tried the tavern? You are always saying that he spends a lot of time there."

Arthur throws his hands up in the air.

"Of course," he says. "When I find him I am going to-" and he's off, storming back down the corridor, muttering threats to himself. Agravaine has to fight to keep a smirk off of his face.

The next two days pass quickly, the passage of time marked by the increasing concern about the whereabouts of the wayward manservant, Arthur's concern becoming less hidden, Gaius looking as if he has been aged even further by his own worry, and Agravaine starts to make plans to visit Morgana, to tell her of his success.

He's needed at a council meeting, and as he enters the hall all thoughts of visiting Morgana are abruptly knocked out of his head, his mouth dropping open in an unflattering look of shock because there by Arthur’s side is Merlin. Merlin who should be dead but instead is standing there, living, breathing, healthy although rather pale looking.

"Are you alright, Uncle?" Arthur looks concerned. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Agravaine stutters out a response, reassuring Arthur as best he can, all while Merlin watches him with a sort of wary amusement.

They all sit down for the meeting and Agravaine finds he can't concentrate, his eyes constantly drifting over to stare at Merlin. How could it be possible to survive such a wound especially when left alone to bleed out in the woods? It couldn't be possible, could it?

The only conclusion Agravaine can reach is that clearly he is dealing with more than just a simple servant.

#badthingshappenbingo #left for dead #merlin #my fic #honestly this is lighter on the whump then i was planning #seeing ghosts

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fearsbellsarchived · 4 years

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[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place

mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal

paz is sleeping beauty

bill is maleficient

if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida

i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel???

mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid

so mermando can be ariel

gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO

bill is also rumplestilskin

stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)

ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia

ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)

the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16

so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep

so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure

bill is all the villains

billains

so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”

they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)

an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”

mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”

dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”

(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???)

so they lose the trail

meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind

he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over

he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”

so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late

dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly

mabel is So In!

long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap

usually shes just a maneater but look

when u live in the woods u do what u can

so stan hauls them back to their cottage

dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE

he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)

he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents

he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’

ford wont tell him why they cant

so dipper and mabel sneak out

they steal the grunkles’ boat

mabel falls over board???

dipper tries like HELL to save her

but then he sees mermando save her

SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!!

gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out

he visits the merman to trick him

all mabel remembers is his voice

so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie

sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!

so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere

they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens

they dont kiss so they move on

they dock on another stretch of land the next day

AND GIDEON APPEARS

the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*

mermando is Distressed

dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess

mabel makes fun of him for liking her

SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!

at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando

and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called

it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him

dipper wants to throw him overboard

they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find

mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway

he promises to write

mabel is Sad

SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!

the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things

they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’

turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess

mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it

mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’

then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before

they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right

THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME

but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy

she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’

and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description

anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay

so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”

“YES! can i take soos too?!”

“sure!”

sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!

they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.

everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.

finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”

tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”

they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”

then....ROBBIE APPEARS!

and he knows where the princess is!!!

”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”

then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower

they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle

robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met

so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)

her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve

so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”

but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!

so they continue on!

mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”

and soos is just excited to be there!

and wendy is just...u kno...chill

they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched

and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!

they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?

they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica

oh damn imagine that

being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head

sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz

WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!

i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”

so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal

and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”

mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan

but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!

so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one

so everyone is brought to the king and queen

theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”

bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL

i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!

SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!

wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y

soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)

soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff

so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible

preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”

but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”

plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???

the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!

so they continue to the tower!

there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode

also soos needs more screentime im sorry

SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!

WHICH IS!!!

IN FACT!!!

GUARDED

GNOMES!]

also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!

is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!

SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!

first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen

after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”

this is also declined

finally jeff tells them to attack

at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay

uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)

finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door

wendy goes first and NAILS it

then everyone else follows

soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window

coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room

OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!

oh well. anyways.

everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in

dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess

he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon

crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not

so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to

none of them work

all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”

so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her

paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back

and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS

dippers ears are ringing

she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.

AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN

“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”

so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her

paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her

also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.

so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.

they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door

she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.

“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like

two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON

“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”

she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”

“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)

meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”

soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!

paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents

apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk

SO theyre nearing the castle!!!

theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.

thats y mabels complaing about boys.

mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!

paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way

which is actually just circles

anyways

we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!

maybe melody is like....a fairy???

something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality

soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.

“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”

“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife

paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”

idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this

so the party has a choice to make.

take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!

sneak her out and take her home w them?!

wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.

and soos wants to stay w melody

U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!

sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!

SORRY SOOS!!!

so anyways

mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out

luckily she knows all the blindspots

it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship

they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule

they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next

they stay a few days to recuperate

paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.

cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away

wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?

“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.

after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.

paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier

paz is nervous to meet the grunks

she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au

where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.

paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”

mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.

iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.

so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.

shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!

the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!

paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.

meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???

stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit

ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.

it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.

she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.

at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!

mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.

robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.

u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!

everything is as happily ever after as it can get.

and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.

BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!

*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*

#💎 OUT OF DIAMONDS. ╱ out.#[i did this forever ago anD I FINALLY MOVED IT TO AN ACTUAL POST OF IT'S OWN]#[im planning on writing this tbh but if u got some rp ideas hum <<]

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flying-elliska · 5 years

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salut ellie! someone once asked you about your writing and you recommended falling in love with language and finding ways of writing you love. i was wondering, what books and/or writing styles are you in love with? it's just so interesting to know what somehow had an impact on the way you're writing bc i honestly adore your style

wow do you remember that ? that is such a flattering question oh my god. well, i’m still working on it. some of my favorites are (i’m very eclectic lmao) :

- His Dark Materials (it’s a fantasy book series ‘for kids’ but it’s actually insanely deep and philosophic) is pretty much the first book series that made me fall in love with stories, and made me want to write. I think I found it when I was 10, and it completely shaped me. It’s so ambitious and clever, it never talks down to the reader, brings up those amazing worlds and philosophical concepts and is still accessible to kids. Most of all it is so committed to atmosphere, to making it vivid, to really make you go through what the characters are. I’m thinking of it and I can remember exactly certain passages in an almost sensory way : the witch Serafina Pekkala describing what it feels like to feel the Aurora Borealis on her bare skin as she is flying through the arctic. The polar bear Iorek giving Lyra frozen moss to help bandage his wounds after a battle. The grilled poppy heads that the Jordan College scholars at Oxford eat during a meeting. The little Gallivespians on their dragonflies and the way the sun reflects off their poisonous spurs. That’s how you make a story stick ; that’s how you can put in deep stuff without ever making it boring. I am so excited they’re making a tv series because that shit deserves some recognition. And I mean the whole plot about the importance of stories, free will, the horror of religious fundamentalism....always relevant. Philip Pullman’s stuff is great in general, I love his Sally Lockhart series, which is more adult and adventure focused, and is a great deal of fun. And of course, the sequel to HDM he’s been putting out recently.

- I spent a lot of my teen years reading either crime novels or historical novels. (When I think of some of the stuff I read when I was 13 I’m like oh my god what were my parents doing lmao some of that was really horrible.) And I think it gave me a good feeling for suspense and setting, and how important tension is. One of my all time faves is Andrea Japp. She is a French writer who does mostly crime, involving complex/monstrous woman characters and a very sensory, poetic approach to language, often involving food, plants and poisons. My favorite by her is the “Season of the Beast”/Agnès de Souarcy chronicles, which is a crime series set in medieval times, with a cool independent lady at its core, crimes in a monastery, and this very gloomy end of times vibe that I love. I also read a lot of Scandi Noir stuff, I love the kind of ...laconic approach to life. And again : vibe. Vibe is so important. And Sherlock Holmes stories. I love the Mary Russell series that take place in that universe and are basically a big Mary Sue self insert guilty pleasure but are just. So much fun.

- I like poetry a lot - not stuff that is too wordy, but something short, sharp and vivid. i think reading poetry is essential to feeding your inner ‘metaphor culture’. I love Mary Oliver. Rimbaud, too, that I read at 17 and rocked my world. One of my underrated faves is Hồ Xuân Hương, a Vietnamese poet from the 18th century who was adept at using nature metaphors to hide both erotic stuff, irreverent jokes, and political criticism, and correspond with all the great scholars of her time under a pseudonym. Badass. Recently I bought ‘Soft Science’ by Franny Choi, which is about cyborgs, having a female body, emotions and politics and it’s absolutely brilliant.

- I love reading fairy tales, too. Currently reading (i always read a lot of books at once lol) Angela Carter’s Book of Fairy Tales, basically fairy tales for grown ups, collected from folklore all over the world, with an amazing kind of gruesome humor and wisdom. Norse mythology is also so damn funny. That one bit with Thor dressing up as a bride or Loki’s shenanigans...amazing. And I like fantasy, I find it very soothing to read for some reason, my fave has to be Robin Hobb and her Realm of the Elderlings series. And Terry Pratchett, especially the series with Death or the Witches. Just brilliant. Neil Gaiman too.

- I tend to be very impatient when it comes to literary fiction, I find a lot of it is self-indulgent, dreary. I’m a genre reader through and through, I need to be amazed. I loved ‘the Elegance of the Hedgehog’ by Muriel Barbery though. Some stuff by Amélie Nothomb, Virginie Despentes occasionally (they’re French writers with a very dark, wry approach to life, tho the first is more polished acid and the second very punk rock). And ‘Special Topics in Calamity Physics’ by Marisha Pessl is pretentious as hell but a lot of fun, if you like dark academia. Salman Rushdie has a way with language that is amazing.

- I read a lot of non-fiction. At the moment : the Cabaret of Plants (about the symbolic/socio historical meaning of plants and how they shaped history) by Richard Mabey and ‘Feminist Fight Club’ by Jessica Bennett. One I absolutely love is ‘the Botany of Desire’ by Michael Pollan in which he traces the history of four plant species (apple, potato, cannabis, tulip) and how they impacted us as much as we impacted them. I was obsessed with plants for most of my life as you can see lol (my mother is a herbalist and I wanted to become a botanist for quite a while.). Also philosophy/anthropology in little bits. I love Tim Ingold. Things about witches. Anything by Rebecca Solnit is incredible.

- I’ve been reading a lot of YA recently, because it’s fun and quick and keeps me reading, and has a lot of good female characters. Big fave recently : Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. It’s about a young bisexual woman who’s grieving and comes to this weird house full of doors, each of which leads to a different path in life, and we follow her through each choice she can potentially make, each of one becomes a different genre of story : creepy ghost story, spy story, sci-fi, cute romance, etc. It’s so innovative and it’s a story that is also bisexual culture at its core. Also I absolutely love love love love love (etc forever) the Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater. What she does with language is just so cool, because she stays simple and efficient but uses her metaphors in such a fulgurant, vivid way. Some of her lines are just. bam! genius. #goals. Also Ronan Lynch is probably THE character that helped me the most with my coming out. He’s one of my forever faves. Of course Harry Potter, lmao, I was of the generation that pretty much grew up with him, the last book came out when I was 17. JK Rowling really should just stop rn. But I learned so much from those, about the importance of making your story feel like home, and having a clear emotional journey. And Harry is such a sarcastic little shit, I love him. And I love a Series of Unfortunate Events too, the darkly funny tone of it, the celebration of knowledge and resilience.

- I think in terms of the classics (I had to read in school lmao), I do like Victor Hugo a lot even though some of his stuff just doesn’t fucking stop. I also like Balzac and his Comédie Humaine, he’s very observant, mean and funny when it comes to people (even though it’s depressing.) Colette is my grandma’s fave writer and she is a rockstar, I love her (also hella bi culture). Jane Austen is great, I read Pride and Prejudice in one night straight, I was so hooked. Love Jane Eyre too. I read On the Road by Jack Kerouac while hopped up on opioid pain killers and that’s probably the only way to appreciate it, but it did mark me.

- But to be completely fucking candid, I probably read the most fanfic nowadays still. Esp since I got to college, I need to unwind when I read, and having characters you already know can be so comforting. Now, of course, there’s a lot of fanfic that is just fluff (nothing wrong with that) but I honestly really believe in the literary value of fanfic. Because some of that shit simply just really slaps and is well written. But also as a genre on its own : you just simply don’t get so much emotional nuance, and depth in most other things. Because these are characters we already know and the writers are not afraid to be self-indulgent and plot is secondary, we see shades of things that we never see anywhere else, we see relationships developping in the small things and wow that shit is breathtaking, bro, sometimes. The art of infinite variation on a theme. Even though a lot of fic writers could use a bit of stricter editing, and do stuff a bit too many unnecessary details in here, so does Victor Hugo soooooooo....

lol i could go on forever. i love book soooo much. uni kinda killed my reading appetite, I used to read several books a week when I was in middle school. hope i can get back there (although maybe not as much bc i have a life now lol.) but thinking about everything i have yet to read makes me sooooo happy. I want to get more into sci-fi, English lit classics. Basically I like stuff that’s witty, dark, political, hedonistic, with dry humor, but a warm heart. Stories that celebrate knowledge, curiosity and human weirdness. And that gets to the point. When I get bored by a book, I put it down, because I just don’t have the time. I also hate writers where you can tell that they think they’re better than other people. Misanthropy is boring. Thank you for this question anon I had a blast

#reading #books #book recs #literature #anon asks

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paradife-loft · 5 years

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hmm, so I’m conflicted about what I want to have as Ishvah’s “canonical” Heartbreak Incident scar...

mostly, the two I’m torn between are “suicidal” and “wants revenge”, because they both have a good amount of character relevance for them.

suicidal is particularly apt as far as Ishvah’s current motivations, worldview, and particular trauma points go - it fits with the extent to which they can be a little too reckless & self-sacrificing; the way they’re desperately impatient and sometimes feel like they’re in a battle against the existence and passage of time. it also works well to heighten how angry and upset they can get about the idea that they shouldn’t exist or should prefer to be someone else - they’ve had their brain hijacked and turned explicitly to desires of self-annihilation before, and they’ll fight tooth and nail against being pushed toward that ever again.

but on the other hand, the method of getting that outcome during the Heartbreak flashback doesn’t work quite as well with their personality? “close self off and just Keep Going” is a portion of Ishvah’s toolkit for dealing with unpleasant situations, sure, but they’re also very curious and prone to sticking their nose in places they shouldn’t, because of how knowledge forms the backbone of their fairly compulsive need to control their environment. there’s something that feels more satisfying about their scar coming from their own need to go “what is this I have to understand it” and then getting in too far over their head.

(plus that’s some tasty extra lore about wtfever those people were up to with a bunch of comatose telepaths??? gated behind the “ooh what’s this *puts finger in socket*” choices, which on a meta level I would like Ishvah to have in the next games....)

but then the problem with going for the revenge scar is that... present!Ishvah isn’t really that driven by or acting in response to ideas about revenge? they would gladly fuck up all sorts of people involved with the Farm or other sketchy human experiment nonsense, but that’s not like, a major priority or something they spend a lot of time thinking about or anything. so I suppose another option would be them having the emptiness/hunger scar instead? but from what I recall of that scene, the most in-character response for Ishvah in the moment is the angry murder you are all going down for this one. (they’ve got moment-to-moment rage problems on occasion, lmao - it’s just not like, a driving long-term motivation for their life plans, or a feeling they get bubbling up from their subconscious without a specific immediate trigger, or whatnot.)

soooo, yeah. choices, choices. >:\c

#FHR: Ishvah Bakker #suicide mention #in other news every time I start thinking about Heartbreak my brain decides it needs to put on a sound track of #that one Big Hero 6 line *baymax voice* we went through the win~dow~~#which is... not tonally appropriate at ALL lmao

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logh-icebergs · 7 years

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Episode 17: Before the Storm

January 797/488. As the Yang fleet settles into their new home on Iserlohn, Reinhard (and Oberstein) concoct a scheme to keep the Alliance out of their hair while they’re busy seizing power: plant a bitter, drunken, disgraced Alliance commander among two million prisoners of war they offer to exchange, armed with a sheaf of paper outlining apparently foolproof instructions for instigating a military coup d'etat. Despite immediately seeing through this plan, Yang can’t stop the exchange, so has to content himself with confiding his suspicions to Bucock. Kircheis visits Iserlohn to conduct the prisoner exchange, filling the fortress with dangerous levels of sexual energy, as literally no one (except Yang) can shut up about how hot he is.

Julian Explains It All

Can you believe it’s been a whole year since we started? Well, a year in-universe that is: It’s January of UC 797, a year since the Battle of Astate; and for no one is the passage of time more exciting than Julian, who at the age of almost-fifteen-thank-you-very-much is soooo much more grown up than the babyfaced thirteen-year-old we first saw making Yang tea back in episode 3—or so he is eager to believe.

“I’ll be fourteen-and-five-sixths later this week, Kircheis-kakka!”

This line and the line above deftly show Julian’s impatience to project himself into the future; the amazingly grown-up second in command of the entire Imperial fleet is after all not *so* much older than him.

Having talked his way into coming along to Iserlohn, Julian now has the official rank of gunzoku (軍属), “civilian in military employ” (if anyone knows a better/less clunky translation of that, let me know!), and gets to do important military things, like…

...taking marksmanship lessons from the leader of the Rosen Ritter—sweet, that’s pretty badass!—and...

...uh, right, also still making Yang tea actually. Of course.

Julian keeps a diary for the first several months of his time on Iserlohn, written by Tanaka as one of the side stories to the novels; and in fact some of the dialogue in this episode comes from that diary rather than the novels themselves. While of course the stories are not Official Icebergs Canon, episode 17 is the only Alliance episode that takes place fully during the time span of the diary, and Icebergs-canon or not the diary is too fucking adorable for me to resist peppering this post with quotes from it. It’s never been officially translated into English, so all translations are by me.

On Yang

“I accidentally only wrote about Yang so far. I should write about myself a bit.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, first entry, p. 12

Julian’s world revolves entirely around Yang. This has never been subtle: From the way he styles his clothes and body language to exactly match Yang’s, to his desire to emulate him by becoming a soldier, to his expression literally every time he looks at him, Julian’s idolization of Yang has been clear from the moment we first saw him.

As Elizabeth mentioned, Julian wears his heart on his sleeve; his expressions are almost always a clear window into his emotions, especially in a shot like this where no one is looking at him. That tiny smile as Yang grumbles about the party they just fled conveys so much affection.

The beautiful thing that happens when you stop relying on narrative shortcuts to define relationships is that the variety of different relationships you can depict blossoms into an infinite array. Julian and Yang’s situation certainly seems to defy simple description: Yang is Julian’s legal guardian; but as I’ve discussed, the language and affect Julian adopts around him are more those of an official subordinate of some kind than family, and indeed in his diary Julian uses words like “orderly” (従卒) or “disciple” (弟子) to refer to his role in Yang’s life. Between the two of them, Julian is both the caretaker and the protector: In episode 10 we saw him try to sooth Yang’s sour mood with tea, as well as rush to defend him physically when he’s attacked.

This gif will absolutely never get old.

Now that Julian’s older and stronger and discovering a talent for physical combat that Yang completely lacks, he’s even more eager to officially take on the role of protector/bodyguard. But there’s an awkward mismatch between Julian’s sincere desire to play this important (and adult) role, and Yang’s very “aww how cute” reactions.

Julian's aspirations get no help from the fansubbers' choice of translation for koitsu; I'd go with a simple "you..." here personally.

This “go keep watch” gimmick is so transparently a way to get rid of Julian for a few minutes that the seriousness of Julian’s nod breaks my heart a little.

Julian’s worship of Yang at this stage of his life is many things: overly intense in that way that emotions are at the age of I’ll-be-fifteen-this-year; more than a little unhealthy; and totally adorable. It’s unclear right now whether Julian himself sees his feelings as a crush; given his general lack of self-consciousness about it, my read is that he doesn’t. But it’s the sort of proto-crush/obsession that could easily become romantically tinged as he continues to grow up.

"Yang sucks at 3D chess." —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 68

On Frederica (...and also Yang)

As we follow Julian around Iserlohn early in the episode we find him accosting Frederica while she’s washing dishes, which means it’s time to introduce the Yang-Bechdel Test! Elizabeth has been using the Reinhard-Bechdel Test to measure whether Kircheis ever actually thinks about Annerose without simultaneously thinking of Reinhard (spoiler: he does not). Along the same lines, if we put Julian and Frederica in a room together, it’s not hard to guess the topic of conversation to which they will gravitate.

Here Julian seeks Frederica out to pick her memory about the events nine years ago on El Facil that launched Yang into his uncomfortable position of fame, and they end up giggling together over Yang’s lack of commanding presence, and speculating on how his life would have gone if he hadn’t become famous.

Like other El Facil flashbacks, this was redrawn for the DVD version to deny us this amazing vision of Yang choking on a sandwich. (Julian is speaking here.)

Bonding with Frederica by discussing Yang serves multiple purposes for Julian: He gets some insight into Yang’s past, since she met him many years before Julian did; and like his interest in Yang’s plans with Jessica in Thernusen, it lets him keep an eye on Yang’s potential love life. The friendship between Julian and Frederica is very sweet, but we’ll be continuing to keep track of how often they actually pass the Yang-Bechdel Test.

On Kircheis (and Dusty) (...and also Yang)

“The person standing at the front looked astonishingly good in the splendid Imperial uniform of metal on black fabric. He seemed about 30cm taller than me, towering above everyone else. Under his unusually red hair, his youthful face was both handsome and gentle. This was High Admiral Siegfried Kircheis.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 181

The Main Event of this episode is the prisoner exchange, the first direct contact we see between the Empire and the Alliance where no one is shooting at each other. From the moment Kircheis steps off of the Barbarossa (which must be making all the Alliance ships in the dock feel rather bad about themselves), all anyone in the whole fortress seems able to talk about is how attractive he is, starting with Dusty’s not-so-subtle dreamy gaze:

Along with Julian, Dusty’s expressions are usually quite transparent. Here he reacts to the other admirals’ shock at his mooning over an enemy commander with deflection, but come on. Dusty. We saw you.

After Julian and then Frederica both comment that Kircheis is super handsome, even Poplan and Schenkopp get in on the discussion, in an exchange the anime team felt was important enough to snag out of the diary.

“It may have been an attempt at modesty for Poplan that he didn’t say not as good-looking as himself. Perhaps due to their age difference, what Schenkopp said was more shameless.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 183-184. (Nah Julian, it’s just that Reinhard is so hot that even Poplan’s comfortable admitting it out loud.)

Okay to be fair, here we also see Julian and Frederica bond over how handsome Kircheis is and uh, how gay Poplan is...I guess that passes the test?

At the actual ceremony, a collection of NPC officers get in on the fun of staring in awe at Kircheis, but of course Julian and Dusty have front-row seats.

In a small-scale version of the technique we’ve seen before of drawing parallels to heteronormative relationships, the random women whispering in the background are repeating almost verbatim what Julian and Dusty both said just moments ago; we’re even focusing on Julian and Dusty in the foreground of the shot, as they gaze up at Kircheis. We get it, anime team, sheesh.

On his way out of the room, Kircheis notices Julian and speaks to him, or in Julian’s own words…

“As High Admiral Kircheis, who had been saying something to Admiral Yang, was exiting the room, the gaze from his blue eyes suddenly rested on me. He had a pleasant, kind voice. [...] I worked hard to keep my voice calm.”

“With a smile, High Admiral Kircheis turned his tall figure and walked away from me. I stood for a while in a daze. I couldn’t believe the second in command of the enemy fleet actually talked to me.”

“I felt strangely unsteady below the knees, like I was standing on a floor made of jelly. If Admiral Attenborough hadn’t pushed my shoulder, I might have just stood in the emptying assembly hall forever.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 182-183

I’m supposed to be doing incisive, below-the-surface analysis here, but the anime team made my job pretty pointless in this case. Even without the diary commentary, between Julian’s dazzled expressions and Dusty’s blatant teasing, there’s nothing to say here except that I agree guys: Kircheis is uhh, the real deal.

But if you’re worried, like Dusty, that Julian’s loyalty might actually be tested by his newfound infatuation, fear not; at the end of the day, Julian knows where his real affections lie.

“Anyway, isn’t everyone forgetting our own representative? Admiral Yang isn’t as dashing as High Admiral Kircheis, but his completely natural, unforced manners and expressions were really charming. [...] Even if Admiral Yang were to come face to face with Marquis Lohengramm, he would calmly maintain his composure and his own pace. I’m sure of it. For me, Admiral Yang is number one, always. So what Admiral Attenborough said when he pushed me, umm—I’d called it a ‘needless anxiety,’ totally impossible. Although, if Admiral Yang himself defected, that’s a different story.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 184

The Secret World of Paul von Oberstein

Meanwhile on Odin, bathed in dramatic sunset hues streaming through arched columns, Oberstein continues to find that (for some reason he still can’t entirely fathom) Reinhard’s treatment of Kircheis is the one topic on which his opinion is not welcome.

Echoing their very first interaction, in which Reinhard refused Oberstein’s request for Kircheis to leave the room (until Kircheis himself offered to comply), here Oberstein suggests that promoting Kircheis to second in command creates too much inequality among the admirals. Ever the utilitarian, Oberstein believes in using each person in the most logical and expedient way; promoting Kircheis above the other admirals, especially when Kircheis is clearly displeased with some of their recent strategies, goes against his sense of order.

Until now, Reinhard has held onto the belief that he can use Oberstein’s Machiavellianism to accomplish certain goals, while simultaneously maintaining his privileged working (and otherwise) relationship with Kircheis. But this is a delicate balancing act—Oberstein is less willing to drop his objections to a “number two” position among the admiralty than Reinhard anticipated, and Kircheis’s discomfort with Oberstein’s methods hasn’t abated even after the demonstrated success of Amlitzer.

Not surprisingly, it’s Oberstein who finally pushes Reinhard to snap and finds himself on the receiving end of some harsh words. Reinhard still doesn’t give in to any of Oberstein’s Kircheis-related demands, but his nerves are visibly frayed, and it’s clear that the fragile peace between the three of them can only last so long. Because this is LoGH and things are never simple when they can be headache-inducingly nuanced, Reinhard isn’t on his way to a trite “choose him or me” ultimatum—but there’s no doubt that he can no longer ignore the ever-widening chasm between his two closest advisors.

Stray Tidbits

The worldbuilding at the beginning of the episode is amazing, showing us around the many sides of the giant floating sphere that is Iserlohn. The fortress holds three million civilians, which is kind of weird—was there continuity in those civilian communities even as the fortress changed hands from the Empire to the Alliance? ...In any case, the “Gone with the Sun” movie poster is one of my favorite random background details. I also like how we get to see the main control room still under construction.

Julian, dear, you know I love you, but what in god’s name are you wearing? Is that like, a light purple sweatsuit? With a blue and yellow jacket? I support your fashion experiments but this one is a miss.

Keep the bag and shoes though, they’re working.

Yang reacting to coffee is everything. *shakes fist at DVD remasters*

“There is no coffee in our house. Even if we have guests who are on team coffee, Yang just gleefully makes them drink black tea.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 70

Yang and Kircheis interacting in person is a breathtaking moment, for the audience as well as for Julian. Reinhard and Yang have clearly admired each other as tacticians from the start, but Kircheis brings a more personal angle, actually articulating a wish that they could have been friends. Hmm do you think maybe this show thinks war is…...bad?

You need this Schenkopp gif in your life.

#Legend of Galactic Heroes #Legend of the Galactic Heroes #author: Rebecca #Alliance #Iserlohn #Julian #Yang #Frederica #Dusty #Kircheis #Oberstein #Julian's Iserlohn Diary #Yang-Bechdel Test #real deal

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danvssomethingorother · 7 years

Text

Knitting and Reading

Summary: Mabel and Dipper try to help Fiddleford remember

A03

It had been a week since the society of the blind eye, Dipper was growing antsy and in his impatience dragged his sister with him back out to meet with the local coot.

Mabel didn’t mind, really, she didn’t, it was nice to get out of the house and see how the old man was holding up after everything that went down. She even planned on making him a sweater and needed his exact measurements anyway.

It wasn’t hard to find him, he was out in the open, fiddling away with some scrap metal and humming loud enough to make Dipper cringe at the off-tune melody. Mabel, however, didn’t mind and much to her brother’s chagrin began humming loudly right along with the old man.

The old man dropped his tools, head shooting up to see the twins, a nervous flush temporarily lit across his face before he fell victim to Mabel’s smile and smiled back to her. Mabel knew most would shy away in disgust at his rotting teeth poking out and while she didn’t exactly find it ‘pretty’ she found she didn’t mind it. She liked seeing he was in a good mood after everything he had to just remember. If he could smile after all that, it made her feel like she could smile brighter just to make him feel more comfortable.

She waved and called his name loudly running over to give him a large hug.

He was taken back for a second tensing his shoulders before his eyes grew a little misty as he hugged Mabel back just as tightly.

Dipper coughed into his hand breaking apart the moment too soon, making Mabel scowl at her brother at the momentary disappointment that the first hug he had gotten in years had been broken too soon.

He grabbed Mr. McGucket by the arm and pulled him away from Mabel who put her hands on her hips in annoyance.

“Have you had any head way on the computer?”

Mr. McGucket looked towards Mabel almost for help before giving a small smile Dipper’s way.

“I been tryin’ but my memory ain’t as good as it used ta be...”

Mabel smiled sympathetically and Dipper face fell in sympathy as well as the old man sat on the ground, holding the sides of his head, pulling his old hat over his eyes a little to hide from what he mistook as Dipper’s disappointment.

“Hey, man, its Ok…” Dipper began placing his hand on McGucket’s shoulder and plopping down next to the man on the ground.

“Yeah!” Mabel exclaimed plopping on the ground on the older man’s opposite side, placing her hand on his shoulder as well smiling brighter when his eye poked out from under his hat, “Old people just have naturally bad memories.”

“Mabel!” Dipper yelped out turning to her with a look of disbelief.

“It’s not a bad thing! It’s just what nature intended really!”

She shrugged, “Grunkle Stan forgets stuff all the time. It’s annoying but really only for him. He loses his teeth and he’s the only one really affected. Soooo, we just help him out by keeping an eye out for them.”

McGucket’s smile began to return at her casual comment so she smiled brighter and continued, “Let us help you out! We can help your memory come back!’’

“Ya would do that?” he asked looking from one twin to the other a red flush growing on his face.

“Yeah! Oh course!” Dipper said patting him on the back.

“And not just to find out who the dumb old author is but because you’re our friend!” Mabel added in making the old man practically glow in appreciation.

“Really?” he asked and the twins nodded in unison patting him on the back reassuringly.

“Is it ok if I show you some passages from the journal again? I re read it last night and it seems he mentions you a few times. It might help you remember who he was a little.”

“And maybe more importantly, who you were,” Mabel said placing her hand on his shaking cast as he eyed the journal.

“Before we do that, can I take your measurements to make you a sweater? You are in a desperate need of a Mabel Make Over.”

She squealed in delight pulling some measuring tape from her bag at his nod and began taking his measurements while her brother opened the book to his marked page and began skimming it till he found the passage he was looking for.

“Do you remember the time you and the author went on a hiking trip? A few pages are ripped out, so maybe you could try to complete the story of where you were going before you encountered the Gremloblin and what happened afterwards.”

“And look you can help me knit if ya want to if anything in the book starts to upset you!” Mabel piped in pulling out several different colors of yarn laying them and several colorful, girly patches in front of the old man.

“Pick out what color and design you want on your new sweater while my bro bro reads you a story.”

He pointed towards a red and a raccoon patch. Mabel smiled brightly scooting closer towards him and showing him how she was crafting the sweater to give him something to focus on as her brother began to read. She began humming a song he liked under her breathe and he tried to keep his focus on that as memories began shifting through his head.

He was young was again, a man with six fingers telling him to hurry up they were wasting day light but all he wanted to do was stop and rest a minute not used to such an exhausting work out.

He remembered the Plaidypus and the tooth the boy talked about, he could picture them clearly but the six-fingered man was harder to remember. He didn’t know what his voice was, so maybe Dipper’s was close to the mark. He didn’t remember his hair or his eyes or any features that weren’t his fingers. The more he listened the more he recalled he was bigger than him, maybe not taller but wider. He had to be, he carried him home after…

He clasped his eyes shut, feeling those clawed hands digging into his sides once more and that hot breath on his face. Staring into those eyes and every nightmare coming to life, the faint feeling of wind fluttering through his hair.

His nails dug into his hat, yanking it, his cast scratching at his face. Every muscle shook. I wish to unsee this his mind yelled out as he found himself throwing whatever he could find together in another far-off memory trying to do just that. He just wanted to forget…please let me forget…

“Mr. McGucket!!!”

A scared plea broke into his mind and he began to untense Mabel in front of him shaking him gently running her finger across his thin hair in a comforting familiar way that brought him back to a time when six fingers had done the same. His eyes were like her eyes, a warm brown filled with fear and concern and they only wanted to help him.

He put his shaking hand on Mabel’s face, wiping away a tear. He felt terrible for scaring the poor girl and her brother standing looking at him with fearful eyes next to him. He cracked a smile despite his fears and panics pulling Mabel into a tight hug with one arm and reaching over to grab Dipper pulling him in with his other arm.

They were good kids, such good kids, he didn’t want them upset none because of him.

He ran his hand through their hair and tried to assure them he was Ok now, it wasn’t their fault.

“I remember the author more,” he said through his own croaked out sob running his fingers through their hair trying to help keep them calm not wanting them to be afraid anymore, “He was a good kind man who tried to help me just like you are.”

They both cracked smiles at him as he began to tell them a memory of the six fingered man taking him to the carnival but he didn’t remember the rest. Dipper began taking notes as he told him more from the pages that were gone that were coming back to him slowly. He exaggerated and made them happier then they were just to make the kids comfortable.

They were such good kids, they reminded him of the author and that made him happy but he couldn’t say why.

#Fiddleford appreciation month #fiddleford mcgucket #mabel pines #dipper pines #mystery twins #old man Mcgucket #Dan's fics #Gravity Falls

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