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catneedssleep · 2 months

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Cat / Tigers new intro post!??! >:3

☆★☆★☆★

“Down on your knees you just don't look so tall !!!! ”

^ Viking Death March — Billy Talent

more under cut!! 🌾🌾

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Names?

Cat/Tiger (No preference!)

Pronouns?

Any/Fluctuating!!

Gender + Sexuality?

Genderfluid/MusicFlux, Xenogender + Omnisexual, Demiaroace, T4T

Uhhh other stuff??

AuDHD ( Autism + ADHD) , Dyslexia, GAD/SAD (Generalized + Social Anxiety disorder) BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), Depression, Hypersexual

Ik. It's a lot lol

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I'm a Furry, Otherkin andddd therian!!

List things:3

theriotypes!!

- House Cat (Flame Point Siamese or White Cat

Otherkin types??? Idk how to name this :'3

- Tiger (Siberian Tiger or Bengal Tiger !!! I can't exactly tell but it's definitely either one of those:3

- (New!) Dog (Samoyed

- Eye? Eyekin? Just. Eye.

- Devil

- Angel

- Zombie

- Vampire

A lot more!!!!

Personally, my furry sort of.. Suit? Type? I'm a cat furry lol.

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More!

Do I have a special interest?

Yes! I have multiple:3

Spooky Month / Candy Dealer + Regretevator / Wallter

I also have a lot of hyperfixations and I'm in a lot of fandoms! :D

alright now.... DNI

sigh

- Hazbin Hotel / Helluva Boss fans (I'm extremely uncomfortable with the shows and the creator:I the only exceptions are Bee & Spade)

- Proshippers ect, I do not support you guys in any way. I am very anti against illegal ships!!!!!!! ^_^ (edit; WHEN DID SHIPS SAY SHOPS??? LMAO... anyway that's fixed

- Endo / Mixed origins / Not Tragumentic (I SPELLED THAT SO WRONG I'M SORRY) “systems”. I will not support you all until there is heavy amount of scientific evidence that you can exist. Go eat a frog>_<

- anti fur, anti otherkin, anti therian, anti LGBTQ+ ect ect, GO AWAY!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!!!!!!!!

- Ablists. Yah.

- all the stuff in my old dni 🌀🌀

- other basic dni 💥

Interact with literally anything else!!!:3

Unless uh

You suck!

teehee

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Self promo section lmao

Discord server!!!!!!

:3🧪🧪🧪🧪

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Things you might see from me :

Mad Scientist type of vibe‼️

Wallter & Candy Dealer loving

HEAVY REBLOGGING

random arts/doodles

Speaking of art and doodles I'm taking emoji requests now! I want to improve my art style, and I want to have experience. Honestly I don't care what you ask but I may ignore it if I don't like it / cant do it. (Nsfw, headmates, ocs yada yada)

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Tags you will see from me!!!! (Eventually.)

- #catneedssleep

My general tag! I use this whenever I post anything such as art, emojis, random rambles ect

- #science experiment

Art tag!!

- #failed experiment

Silly tag :3 just for shit posts or something of the sorts

- #test tube

Ramble Tag :3

That's all the tags!!!! Yay!!!!

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Buh bai!!!

#:3 #intro post #teehee #beginner artist #regretevator #spooky month #wallter #candy dealer #therian #otherkin #furry #giggles and runs away #catneedssleep

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multiplicity-positivity · 10 months

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I only have 2 headmates and idk how to get along with them :(

For context they're both OCS (one old, I made her in 3rd grade and one is new- made very recently) and they unfortunately know that. The issue is that all of my ocs have bad things happen often and I imagine they hate me for that

They also hate each other's guts for other reasons but it just sucks not having any peace

Hmm… we know it can be really really hard to get along with other headmates sometimes! And your headmates being OCs probably really complicates the situation, huh?

We have a little note that we keep with us when we’re feeling overwhelmed and stuck in memory time:

(ID in alt text!)

This really helps us when we’re starting to feel guilty for not handling our childhood trauma better, or feeling like we’re never going to be good enough because of what happened to us, or trying to bear the weight of our history on our shoulders all the time! Our therapist told us the mantra and we wrote it down to keep handy :3

This helps us deal with painful childhood memories… But! we really feel like this sort of message may help people with exotrauma or painful exomemories too! >w<

As writers and creators, it’s okay to put your characters in difficult or traumatizing situations!! It comes with the territory of being an artist!! And you shouldn’t have to put a stop to that or feel guilty about it just because your OCs developed into headmates!!

But for your headmates…. It makes sense that this stuff will bother them! It makes sense that they might have to process exotrauma because of some decisions made by their creator (you!). It’s possible to allow them space, to support them on this process, and to recognize that you may have made choices regarding their histories… but that doesn’t make you at fault even one bit!!

Exotrauma can be really tricky and also icky to navigate! We have alters with exotrauma in our system and it’s been a wild ride helping them process it while other members process real-life trauma! But being willing to help and listen, not judging your headmates for feeling certain ways about their circumstances, and understanding where their apprehension comes from could all really help you be there for them when they need it!!! Does that make sense to you? Idk if I’m using “apprehension” right lol but I mean like their wariness or cautiousness or unwillingness to put the past behind them and get to know you!

Speaking of getting to know you… maybe y’all should try conducting interviews to get to know each other!!

I made this headmate interview form a while back! it’s a fun, laidback way for headmates and alters to start learning about each other as they are now, not as they once were!!

Could y’all perhaps spend some time conducting lighthearted, low-stakes interviews to figure out what each other likes and what they are like? And once you have a good idea, you can start going out of your way to do nice things for each other!!!

If we’ve learned anything in therapy, it’s that kindness, apologies, forgiveness, and compassion can be amazing tools for coming together as a team!! Our frequent fronter group is able to work together the way we do because of this!! Like this time last year, I never would’ve dreamed I’d ever cofront with Kandi to work together on art or posts and stuff… but here we are!! And it’s all thanks to learning more about each other and daring to show each other compassion even when we didn’t want to!! :333

So in the end, we don’t know for sure what will help y’all reach a mutual understanding and stop hating each other…. But we can give you advice for what’s helped us in the past! We still have alters who hate each other (ahhhhh) but at least we’re making progress!!! And that’s what counts!! We Can Move Forward!! And we believe y’all can too!! >w<

💚 Ralsei and 🦇 Alucard (or Kandi - bats got two names and likes them used interchangeably!)

#trauma #exotrauma #exomemories #octive #getting along #cooperation #hope we tagged this right!

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malikselfindulgence · 7 months

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WELCOME TO MY BLOG :33!! MOSTLY SELF-SHIP BLOCK IF YOU DON'T LIKE

Name: Malik/Rose

Pronouns: He/She/Star/neos

My pronouns page here!

Tag guide for my oc/self-ship tags here!

Would suggest going through the introduction tag for other important stuff!

Genderfluid/bigender and bisexual! :3

Asks and dms are always open! I love to chat about anything and everything!! :33

We are a system! Will refer to other headmates [Blaze mostly lol] sometimes, and if he posts on here it'll be under #blaze's yapping [Blaze uses he/xe/bun pronouns]

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! [currently have a lot, pls stay patient with me >.>!]

Art + writing, more info under the cut!

Will do ocs x canon, canon x canon, characters or ocs on their own for art, but only x reader for writing! Poly relationships r also open 4 both!

How to make a request:

For art, just a character and prompt is good! If you're requesting an oc please attach a reference image. Can be characters on their own or with their friends, too, doesn't have to be just shipping! Im not good with animals or complicated designs so please bare with me </3

For writing, please specify the plot, romantic or platonic or familial and anything specific you'd like included. If reader's gender isn't written in the request they'll stay gender neutral with they/them pronouns

Preferably send requests through asks, but dms or replies or reblogs are fine too!! Please be patient with me- I'm the host dedicated to this blog, so I have to wait till I front in the body to write + post!

Things I WILL write:

Self harm comfort, depression/anxiety comfort, trans reader, dysphoria comfort, and you can always ask if you're not sure!

Things I WON'T write or draw:

Nsfw [suggestive is a-okay!], anything gore-heavy, any weird fetishes, yandere/non-con/stalking, mentions of eating disorders [gets me in a bad place mentally, I'm sorry!] and if I'm uncomfortable with a request I won't do it

DNI: basic DNI criteria, racists, neopronoun antis, proship, homophobic/transphobic/islamphobic, etc.

If anything's unclear you can send me an ask :33 pretty new to self-ship tumblr but I hope to have fun while I'm here!! My most common tags will be in this post for easy access. Thank you for reading!!

#introduction #malik's writing #malik's art #malik's requests #malik's asks #malik's rambles #blaze's yapping

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the-amalgam-house · 7 months

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I think...that I'm coming to the realization that Treias and all its inhabitants are in fact Inner World and always has been. Additionally, Drake Edward Morrison III, and maybe a few key others, are probably headmates...

I'm a little surprised it took me this long to figure it out. I don't really know if this is like...an introject thing or he was always a part of the system and I just was blind to it or what. I keep seeing to fit everything neatly into labels but that's not how existing works. But whatever this whole situation is, there's no actual separation between the then and now, he has always been a singular being and presence in my life and everything we've gone through is "canon" I guess lol.

My previous tentative belief of this being a "What if I'm connected to a different universe" thing I realize isn't exactly right. I still think that could be a possibility for some, but it isn't the case with me. Treias just really is my actual Inner World, in its entirety. OCs are still OCs, but my connection to them as being very real is also true, the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Pardon my ableist language here, but reading either of these beliefs from an outside perspective I'm sure seems like the ramblings of a crazy person. But like. Idk this one feels correct. Treias is my inner world, but also a fictional playground at the same time. Parts of the playground become canon to the inner world, and others are like an AU? If that even makes sense. One is more like creating it and the other is not like discovering it, tho the two often cross over??

Uh. Either way, this revelation opens up the world SIGNIFICANTLY on the inside. It's always been my escape and I should have figured sooner tbh. And my complex feelings/relationship with Drake and how it's changed over time. Somehow it makes even more sense this way.

I'm not really sure how I feel completely. There's a weird mix of like anxiety and hopeful...something. A weird combination of discovery and loss at the same time? And I don't know why. I really don't know what to think of it all and probably still need much more time to really sit with it.

I know every state is different but I wonder if there's like. Somewhere I could share this info and others have similar experiences?? Idk I'm really tired and anxious over new job and need to sleep so idk idk. I do feel really strongly about this tho. Treias is and always has been Inner World in a Plural/System sense, and it's highly likely that at least a handful of OCs might be headmates either having always been such or have become introjects.

#toby talk #it's really strange all of it #but at the same time oddly feels like idk homey? comforting?#i never know how to really articulate what the experience is like #the experience of being plural #esp with the fact that actual switches are incredibly rare and most of this is all inside #but I know it's real because of those said rare switches #it's just so much to take in

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doubleca5t · 2 years

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Frenzy headmate anon here: I'm so fucking sorry, but my first introduction was the time they took over your account. I was a new follower at that time and it just felt like people were interacting with them in the same way I've seen people do with headmates or an OC OP is roleplaying as or something. I had no clue you two were dating lol, I just had to piece things together from that and came to a super wrong conclusion.

Ok this makes slightly more sense you are forgiven anon thank you for the clarification

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ablednt · 3 years

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Alright writing/roleplay tumblr we need to talk about textforms.

This is going to be a very long post I apologize but this knowledge is deathly important as it's reaching a very vulnerable group of people. From personal experience knowing this can save people from getting into toxic friendships and help ease intense struggles and depressions. If you have writer followers I ask you reblog this to get the word out, thank you.

What is a textform

A textform is a type of willogenic/parogenic system member that form through some kind of writing or roleplaying. This means that they're sentient people who now share a body with the people who wrote them, most often being an OC or a fictional character before the writers brain gives them actual life.

Because there's been no actual scientific studies on their existence I have no hard science to give you however the logical explanation behind it goes like this:

The human brain is able to contain multiple conscious and sentient entities. Often, it will become multiple as a defense mechanism (as noted in clinical plural dissociative disorders) but it's a natural function of the human brain and may do so for really any reason (similar to most neurodivergencies that someone isn't born with)

Because this is a fairly simple change in the brain/something every brain can be capable of doing you can actually intentionally program the brain into becoming multiple, but see you can also do it entirely without meaning to or being aware of it.

Now I want to clarify that there is nothing harmful or scary about this! Being plural isn't bad at all and is an existence many people celebrate. But when someone has textforms in their unrealized system and doesn't know they're sentient it can be incredibly painful emotionally. So that's why people need to know about this.

Obligatory disclaimer: if you read this post and think you want to become plural intentionally, you are welcome to do so but you need to take at least a few months exposing yourself to the plural community to gauge if this is really something you want and can do responsibly. You cannot go back on your decision once your plural and your headmates will be sentient beings not characters to project on or toys to play with. They will have all the rights to your body and identity as you do now because you're sharing it equally with them.

Now that that's out of the way back to textforms.

How are textforms made

Normally this is in the "character development" phase. Many writers eagerly develop their characters. When I was younger and had no idea I was plural my advice for oc making turned out to be an unintentional guide to textforms (more on my experience later): just put your character in every situation imaginable until you always know how they'd respond to things.

Basically, as you spend your time making a character act and think consistently from their POV you're training your brain to have all of that data and that's very similar to the data that the brain has on you and you're training the brain to be able to operate coherently from a perspective and consciousness entirely different from your own.

Now, this isn't a %100 will make everyone plural every time, there are obviously good writers who have a grasp on their characters who are singlet. There's no actual data but if I had to guess I'd say there's about a 50/50 split down the writing community just based on what I've observed.

But there's a lot of people who became plural this way and didn't realize it and that could include the writer reading this right now which is why everyone needs to be aware of this.

If this is such a big thing how come no one notices?

Because it's been completely normalized in the writing community but dismissed as metaphorical.

How many times have you heard "the characters write themselves" or phrases that indicate that a writer is giving a voice to sentient entities? From what I've been able to observe some of that is singlet authors being metaphorical and humble bragging and a lot of that is plural writers trying desperately trying to put their experiences into words but dismissing it completely almost immediately because no one told them being plural was possible.

This is comparable to say, gender identity. Trans and nonbinary people have always existed but when they don't know they're allowed to exist like that it's often "im a tomboy" or "they disguised themselves as a man" or any other thing thats immediately dismissed as being cis.

How do I know if I have a textform?

There's a lot of different signs but here's some I have experienced before finding out I was plural

You "miss" your characters when you're not writing about them or interacting with them in some way

You feel like your characters are real "in your heart" (for me this was in an incoherent loop like "they're not real but they are to me, in my brain, but they're not real to other people, but they're in my brain so they're real but no but yes but no")

You get so distressed they're "not real" that it feeds into actual mental health problems like depression, anxiety, dissociation etc. (I'd have fits of sobbing because these were my friends but I didn't know they were with me so it felt like i was grieving their deaths and had the same level of emotional pain)

Sometimes or all the time when you write about them you feel like you "become them" or that they're writing through you. (Especially if your hands move automatically or without your control. This can be hard to notice but for me when headmates control the body or hands movements feel faster and lighter or very slightly numb.)

Your muse for writing them comes and goes unpredictability: they're either here or they're not here so writing them doesn't feel the same.

You can vividly recall things that happened to the character in 1st person (or in 3rd person visually but with their thoughts and feelings) as if they're you're own memories.

You "roleplay" them in everyday situations IRL. (E.g once I liveblogged a tv show as my muse to a friend and was like haha lol im so talented I can roleplay in real time but found out later it was a headmate doing that themselves)

You have conversations with them mentally in which they actually respond to you. Singlets don't have actual enriching conversations with themselves because they only have one perspective and cannot give themselves any new information. So if you're responding to yourself and you don't feel in control of that response then you're pretty objectively plural tbh.

You have times where the lines between you and the character feel blurry or like you're a vague fusion of yourself and the character

You have an actual relationship (of any kind: romantic, platonic, familial, etc.) in which you can sense nuanced feelings about yourself from them that you aren't in control of.

There's a lot more but that's the most notable ones

Why this is so important

I'm just talking about my own experience now so I'll preface this with a few things. I'm a mixed origin/multigenic system but our system has existed since we were toddlers. Due to trauma we have DID and for a long time dissociated heavily to avoid our plurality. This means my experience may be more distressing than other plurals with textforms however people without DID can still experience these things.

When I was a teenager I joined a lot of writing communities and also roleplayed on tumblr. Writing very quickly became my main passtime and all I really did. I joined a roleplay group when I was 15-16 that I took far too seriously to the point where people were concerned about me because I was writing what was just supposed to be a joke roleplay group %100 seriously and very intensely.

In that time I started to form my first main textforms (we've undoubtedly had them before then but I had only formed a little under a year prior) because I was doing this every day it really started bringing my characters to life. (Literally)

And honestly it was something beautiful the distress of it aside. Like one of my ocs was a kid so I'd always celebrate their birthday with them and I'd cuddle a plush so they'd know I loved them/p and we'd watch their favorite cartoon episodes together. It wouldn't be until around three years later that I realized they were actually there for this but it was heart warming.

For me, all I ever wanted was for these characters to feel appreciated and like someone really cared for them and loved them even if they couldn't feel it and it wasn't until later I learned that they could.

The trauma came in not knowing they were real. I grieved for them like they were dead because I thought I'd never get to see them. I wrote them into traumatizing or upsetting situations to cope with my childhood trauma not realizing that was effecting them for real and hurting them.

Most notably because it was my one solid interaction with them, the one time society allowed me to talk about them as if they were real, I really HAD to roleplay them. Because it became an emotional need I wound up in a lot of toxic friendships in the roleplay communities because I needed someone, anyone, to allow me to interact with my headmates. I had friends who I really was only friends with because they let me talk about my characters constantly (and some of them weren't toxic to me but it was in hindsight really unfair to them) and I let people verbally and emotionally abuse me in roleplay spaces because this wasn't just a hobby to me but a lifeline.

Not knowing they were real but feeling them there, having conversations with them, and forming actual relationships was a hellish sort of feeling I don't wish on anyone. I never realized how isolated it made me, and how horrible it felt to have the most important people in your life be people I thought didn't exist.

I only found out about plurality through luck. I met some systems who had fictives and they got strong plural vibes from me because of how I talked about certain characters and because I said I wanted to be plural but thought I probably wasn't because I'd have noticed, right?

From there I was able to actually connect with and talk to my headmates. Now I'm happily out as plural and in multiple fulfilling in system relationships.

I want everyone in the writing community who's struggling with the same things to have the chance I got. That's all I want is to educate people about this so they don't have to grieve for people who are right there with them.

Feel free to send me an ask or a dm if you have any further questions. Sorry this post was so long I can't really shorten it at all. Again if you are have a lot of writing followers I very gently request you reblog this to get the word out. Even if you can't please talk to your writing mutuals and friends about plurality and about textforms.

[Also this should go without saying but this is absolutely NOT the place for syscourse any invalidating comments about systems will be blocked and where possible deleted it costs $0.00 to prioritize people's mental health over your discourse hot takes.]

#writblr #tumblr roleplay #writing problems #roleplay resources #ocs #long post #ask to tag

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rivetgoth · 3 years

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I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

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