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syrensblog

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syrensblog · 9 months

Photo

Carrie Mae Weems, American, 1975,

Gelatin silver print. 8 ⅝ x 8 ⅝ in. (21.9 x 21.9 cm).

Courtesy of the artist and Jack Shainman Gallery, New York

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syrensblog · 9 months

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sssaharam photographed by Bryan Durante for The Collector Magazine

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syrensblog · 9 months

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it all feels like a dream,

hello dearest.

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syrensblog · 1 year

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i have been getting a lot of realizations and learning a lot about my life.

it hasn't been easy the past couple of weeks.

confusion, frustration, anger, resistance, sadness and stagnancy have been reoccurring themes of my life lately.

i do not feel like myself.

i feel like i am out of my 'flow' state.

it's been so hard to connect with myself again and it's been so hard to get inspired and motivated.

i feel as though i have no sense of direction even when i know where im headed. this period has got to be the most confusing, scary and frustrating period of my life.

i have realized how i haven't actually taken full responsibility of my own life. it's almost as if im still waiting for something to come and change how i feel.

ive realized how i am mentally lazy. i don't put in any effort to actually focus on the things that i am supposed to be focusing on, instead i make excuses and procrastinate and i think that's my biggest problem.

throughout the days, i have learnt that it's okay to ask for help. i struggle so much with opening up and asking for help, it's something that i need to work on (which will take so much time).

im fortunate enough to have a strong support system that understands me, with that mainly being my boyfriend. sometimes i question myself how he willingly decides to stay with me, even when ive proven to him how much of a workload i can be. i am grateful that he remains patient and doesnt lose hope/ gives up on me even when i feel like ive given him the reasons to. he tries to push me into becoming my best self and wow i am just grateful and i feel so fortunate to have a partner like mine. i love you so much, my love and thank you for everything, i really appreciate you. thank you for sticking by my side, always <3.

my spirituality has been weighing heavy on me as well, the intense and vivid dreams i would get would leave my body and spirit feeling alarmed.

the growing pains are almost unbearable. i feel a sense of discomfort and i am fighting so hard to find comfort, but then again i remember that there is no growth in feeling comfort.

#blog personal #blog post #realization #note to self #spiritual growth #growth #adulting

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syrensblog · 1 year

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