I don’t know what this says about me, bu I just always envisioned my adult self as being wildly fabulous, drinking red wine & listening to jazz music when I was a kid. Constant imagery.
It occurred to me tonight, as I’m drinking red wine in my kitchen and jazz plays over the tv in my living room, that I am the embodiment of my childhood day dreams. Wildly fabulous, drinking red wine & listening to jazz.
I like to think I’ve always had taste, ever since a young age ✨
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Unpopular opinion but black women have free will. Black women are people just like everyone else. Black women can choose whether or not they want to be natural or not, whether or not they like or don’t like their natural hair, whether or not they want to choose to take care of it or not and shouldn’t be ridiculed or accused of being anti black or horrible for making a different choice. Black women can choose whether or not they want lip filler, want other cosmetic procedures, black women can decide who they want to be, who they want to present themselves as, where they want to live, who they want to marry and spend the rest of their lives with, if they want to have children or not and if they want to raise them the way that they were raised. Black women can decide if they want to be feminine or soft or if they want to be taken care of throughout their lives instead of playing into the strong black woman stereotype. Black women can decide what religion they want to practice or if they want to practice one at all. Black women can decide what they want to go to school for, what they want to be educated on and if their performance is enough or not without other peoples expectations or opinions. Nobody hates black women like black people. And we take many steps backwards trying to push black women to exist as we think they should rather than allowing them to be their own people, to exist as they want to exist within this world, to not be a monolith.
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I love seeing black women in love
being loved
and loving others
We deserve to be admired, adored, and desired. Passionately and wholeheartedly.
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Black Femininity.
Let’s talk Black femininity: a hidden gem that seems to be within blurred lines.
Disclaimer: For me to “investigate” black femininity properly, I have chosen several beautiful black women who sport natural hairstyles/protective styles, natural bodied, and has a creative essence that envelopes them. These women are glamourous, soulful, eclectic, and beautifully flawed. This makes them no different than you and I. Finding the unique in our natural beauty, and those that sets us apart. Quite frankly, this, to me, seems as if it’s the root and/or epitome of the beauty around the world. The golden standard amongst most.
Hello to you my glamourous ladies!
This discussion will be about something I’ve recently found interesting. So apparently, in today’s society (or to specify, the male-i-sphere), there is a discussion about the level of femininity that black women have in contrast to other races/ ethnicities of women. Now, I’ve spoken about submission (a biblical concept) in a worldly discussion and like always, it’s taken out of context. Or in other words perverted, like the devil does everything God creates. The world has been speaking down on black women for seems like forever but my issue is with black women.
I find it really disheartening to see you accept this notion, let it sink into your mind, and become subservient to it. This is not us! We are the epitome of femininity and the origin of humans. Show some dignity, ladies (ouch, but needed to be said)! Believe me, I become furious when I hear what everyone says about us too, but we CANNOT, for the life of us, ingrain everything someone says about us.
HOWEVER…
Lets get something CRYSTAL clear…
FEMININITY IS NOT INHERETLY EUROCENTRIC.
FEMININITY IS NOT STARIGHT OR CURLY WIGS.
FEMININITY IS NOT DRESSING A CERTAIN WAY.
FEMININITY IS NOT SPEAKING SOFTLY OR A HIGH PITCHED VOICE.
FEMININITY IS NOT WEARING PINK AT ALL TIMES.
FEMININITY IS NOT APPEARING WEAK.
FEMININITY IS NOT APPEALING TO THE MALE GAZE.
FEMININITY IS NOT IN COMPETITION WITH OTHER WOMEN WHO ACT/LOOK DIFFERENT THAN YOU.
FEMININITY IS NOT ACTING ALL GIDDY AND BUBBLY AROUND MEN.
FEMININITY IS NOT BEING AN AIRHEAD SO THAT MEN CAN DO THINGS FOR YOU.
FEMININITY IS INNATE IN WOMEN ONLY!
If you as a women thing all these things are false, I got some bad news for you…
Black Women this is a wakeup call to realize that there is femininity in our own culture. There is femininity in our own hair. There is femininity in our own traditions. There is femininity in our own history. I hate to see black women who change or “tweak” themselves to appear more feminine (which they assume is the appearance of European women). Why do you think that femininity is inherently European? Why do you think that you have to wear your hair a certain way or talk a certain way to be feminine? Are you not enough already, as a Women?
To me, this just sound like racist talking points regurgitated, twisted, tweaked, flipped, reversed, and spinned again. Why are you so comfortable portraying yourself this way for the sake of acceptable “femininity”? Why are you so comfortable telling the black female youth this madness? Who told you that femininity was a look? Don’t worry Ill wait…
This may hurt but darlings we must be honest with ourselves. If we like this “aesthetic” then cool but who lied to you and said that femininity is based off Eurocentric standards?
Here’s the truth: FEMININITY LOOKS DIFFERENT FOR EVERY ETHNIC GROUP.
How does Latinx femininity look? Polynesian? Asian? Middle Eastern? Continental African?
So why on earth are you so adamant on accepting your own femininity and embracing its uniqueness? I don’t blame you though because I’ve been there. I thought the same as you. I felt how you’ve felt. This has been ingrained in our minds since childhood. But were furthering it at this point.
Let’s look at some of my favorite examples of what Black femininity looks like.
Thoughts?
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