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So in the past few years I’ve seen so many videos / posts that are like:
“Actually wolves don’t have hierarchies! They live in family groups where the ‘alphas’ are mom and dad and the other wolves are their CHILDREN and offer their respect willingly! :D”
and I just have to say
how dare you try to make normative nuclear families out of wolves
Yes, a lot of the old “nature red in tooth and claw” stuff about wolves is nonsense. (Like anything from Jack London.) And anything ‘alpha’ you see sleazy men trying to relate to dating (yikes!) is especially nonsense.
But wolves are complex social creatures and they create complex social structures. Just as you can’t say “THIS is the way human society is structured. Just THIS single way and no other”, so too there is no single form for a wolf pack.
Some packs are a mom wolf and a dad wolf and their wolf children. Others are two small ragged packs that combine to form a large pack. Others are packs where a lone wolf joins and eventually becomes a leader. Others are packs where a grown child-wolf has pushed their parent out of the leadership role.
Speaking of the latter, let’s look at the tale of Wolf 40 and Wolf 42.
Wolf 40, Wolf 41, and Wolf 42 were wild Yellowstone wolves, daughters of the alphas. Their father was illegally killed by hunters and shortly after ambitious Wolf 40 ousted her mother, driving her out of the pack. Wolf 21 became the new alpha male, and 40′s mate.
Wolves have personalities, and Wolf 40′s personality was “volatile”. Imagine Scar from The Lion King combined with the boss from Office Space, and you have Wolf 40. She habitually bullied the other female wolves, attacking them until they expressed abject submission. And the wolves that got the worst of it were her sisters, Wolves 41 and 42.
Wolf 41 got tired of the bullying and left. Wolf 42 remained, perhaps because she was close to Wolf 21, the alpha male. Despite that, Wolf 21 did not interfere when his mate harassed Wolf 42.
Unlike 40, Wolf 42 got along well with the other female wolves, spending time grooming them and relaxing with them. Wolf 40 could have followed her sister’s example and built up positive social bonds. But she didn’t.
One day, Wolf 40 went out on an important task. She was going to kill another litter of her sister’s pups–having done the same in two previous years. This isn’t uncommon wolf behavior (but is not universal, as we will see.) Typically only the alphas breed.
However, Wolf 40 never returned from her important task because Wolf 42–who previously had submitted to her alpha and sister, who had allowed the killing of two previous litters of pups–had had enough. She fought back.
And the other female wolves jumped to aid her.
Collectively, they killed Wolf 40. Because “alpha” isn’t a magic cloak of protection, it doesn’t even mean “strongest wolf”, it’s just a job title.
The next day Wolf 42 carried her pups, one by one, to her sister’s den. She set her children among the pups of her dead sister and raised both litters together. And when another wolf in the pack had pups, Wolf 42 carried them to the den to be communally raised as well. She was the alpha female now and she made the rules, and the first rule was “we don’t hurt pups here.”
As for Wolf 21, he became the mate of Wolf 42. Maybe he understood that Wolf 40 had been riding for a fall.
As alpha female, Wolf 42 continued to be supportive and kind towards the other pack members. Wolves who had been nervous wrecks under Wolf 40 began to relax and come into their own; one of the former omega wolves gained self-confidence and became one of the best hunters.
“Alpha”, for wolves, just means leader. They might be good leaders, whom you respect, or they might be bad leaders, who fill you with dread. They might be your parents, or they might not. Even if they are your mother or father, wolves don’t contextualize those relationships the same way humans do.
But one thing wolves have in common with humans is that they have individual personalities and experiences, and their actions derive from those. There is no “typical wolf pack.” And I think that’s beautiful.
If you want to learn more about wild wolf dynamics, I recommend reading the annual Yellowstone Wolf Project Reports. Which are FASCINATING. There are also some good wildlife specials out there.
Wolves are my favorite animal. <3 It pains me to see them misunderstood as crazed bloodthirsty brutes, but it also pains me to see them woobified. They deserve better than that.
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Digging through my WIP folder and I found notes for a story idea I had about a dragon adopting a human.
Not on accident, mind you, the dragon doesn’t just stumble across a human infant and adopts it. The dragon decides it wants to adopt a human.
The dragon explains this to its lich friend: “I want someone to take care of me in my old age! A human would be great! Imagine how easily it could talk the other humans into leaving me alone! And– and it might decide to grow up and become a goldsmith, right? Some humans become goldsmiths. My human might decide to go into goldsmithing too!”
“I think you’re overestimating the percentage of humans who become goldsmiths,” replies the lich friend, who is not terribly discouraging of the idea, but also not particularly invested in it at this point. It seems like a plan with a lot of potential points of failure.
The dragon is undeterred, mostly because it has a whole hoard of gold coins and goblets and jewelry and trinkets that seem to indicate to it that there must, in fact, be a great number of humans who know goldsmithing to have produced all that.
Anyway, the dragon decides to shapeshift into a humanoid form, go into a city, and adopt a human child. It needs the lich’s help, because it doesn’t know anything about human fashion. The lich’s knowledge on the subject is a few centuries outdated, but they attack a few fancy carriage on the road and reverse-engineer an outfit from what the humans inside them were wearing. (Those humans were nobles, it’s fine, it’s a victimless crime)
The lich fusses a lot with the humanoid appearance of the dragon until everything looks just so.
(“Am I actually doing it wrong, or are you just making me shapeshift into something you find more attractive?” the dragon asks.
“If you want me to pose as your husband, this is the price to pay,” the lich replies.)
They go into the city, anyway, and they find an orphanage on the shady side of town, where the tired, overworked and underpaid matron clearly sees there’s something not right about these two, but not in any obvious way she can put her finger on. She’s just happy to have one less mouth to feed.
Anyway, child get!
She comes along quietly, and doesn’t even comment when she’s taken to a dragon lair.
The dragon is ecstatic with its new acquisition.
(“Does it know any commands?” the dragon wonders. “Sit! Stay! Roll over?”
“You may be thinking of dogs,” the lich points out. “Children do not perform tricks.”
They both looked at the human child, trying to figure out how to approach her.
“So, what scam are you running here?” the little girl asked suddenly, startling both the dragon and the lich.
“I was wrong,” the lich says, “they’ve definitely been teaching children new tricks since I was alive.”)
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Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed.
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Concept: A soldier falsely accused of defection finds out that they’re soulmates with the princess/prince rightfully accused of treason. They end up running away together, but one of them wants to go back.
Submitted by @andromedahereicome
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my ancient greek history professor is making us post memes weekly. i swear to god
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How every Greek myth starts in one sentence. Thank you OSP
#overly sarcastic productions#osp#zeus#not my art#someone cut off his balls#osp red#greek gods#greek myth art#greek mythology
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How every Greek myth starts in one sentence. Thank you OSP
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someone is breaking into your house. You grab an ancient axe you’ve just bought at an auction and brain the burglar. All of the sudden all life-skills and knowledge of all that have been felled by that axe come flooding into your consciousness.
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Recurring Figure+Place: The oracle of Delphi (The Pythia)
Historical and mythical greek oracle.
Summary: High Priestess speaks prophecies, but you need to pay her first, and business is closed during winter.
Mythical explanation:
At first, the oracle of Delphi belonged to Gaia and was guarded by Python, her son [and also scaly Snake-Dragon-Beast-Nightmare.]
Apollo kills Python [his first real kill.]
The High Priestess, the Pythia, does prophecy stuff, usually in unclear language. In the early years she only works one day a year: May 15th [Apollos birthday]. With greater populratiy and more customers, the number of Pythias increases and they work 9 months a year.
You need to pay her first, usually with an animal sacrifice. If you have more money, you might get to skip the cue.
Historical explanation:
The prophecies get mae in a two step process:
1. Pythia gets high, sometimes on plants, sometimes on fumes from the ground. She starts talking. Her client is not actually in the room to witness.
2. The other priests, who are usually well informed about the politcal turmoil all over Greece, cherrypick the high nonsense to form statements that are vage enough to be definetly right, but specifc enough to be impressive. Then they give that prophecy to the client.
The Pythia can appear in several myths:
-> Herakles
-> Oedipus
-> Perseus
-> ...
But the historical prophecies are just beautiful:
Sound advice that sounds stupid:
'King of Athens, you city is safe behind a wall of wood.' [Praphrased]
->actually meaning a large fleet of ships
Ambigous and misleading:
Several oracles told Croesus that if he was to wage war on the Persians, he would destroy a great empire. They did not bother to tell him that they were talking about his own empire.
Oddly specific:
Nero was told that the number 73 would be his downfall. He figured he would die at that age. Instead, his reign came to a short end after a revolt by Galba who was 73 years of age at the time.
Oddly specific 2:
In 403 BC, Lysander, the Spartan victor of the Peloponnesian War was warned to beware:
Also the dragon (serpent), earthborn, in craftiness coming behind thee.
He was slain from behind in 395 BC by Neachorus, who had a serpent painted upon his shield.
(Wikipedia)
Very insistent [I find this one very funny]:
In 630 BC, the king of the island of Thera went to Delphi to offer a gift on behalf of his native city, and was told by the oracle:
that he should found a city in Libya.
Because the king did not know where Libya was, he did nothing. Thera was later affected by drought, the Therans again approached the oracle who said:
if they ... would make a settlement at Cyrene in Libya, things would go better with them.
Following the advice of the oracle, the Therans sought advice from the Cretans as to where Libya was and a colony of Thera was established at Platea. But bad luck still followed them for another two years, so they visited the oracle a third time. She said:
Know you better than I, fair Libya abounding in fleeces? Better the stranger than he who has trod it? Oh! Clever Therans!
The Therans sought advice from the local Libyans who gave them a new site, and the colony prospered.
(Wikipedia)
Prophecies are just fun.
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Fairytale: König Drosselbart / King Thrushbeard
A German fairytale that I grew up with. It's supposed to teach a lesson, but it's actually really fucked up.
.characters: Princess [vain], King [her father], suitors [various], King Thrushbeard, Beggar
---
1. Enter beautiful young Princess. [Let's face it, she is a teenager. There are different versions with her age 14-18] King wants to marry her off.
2. King invites suitors [really just an assortment of inbred creepy old guys with titles and money] and because he is soo kind and progressive and loves his daughter soo much, he wants to let her choose who to marry
3. Suitors line up, Princess judges. [It's supposed to feel like that scene from "The Emporers new groove", but Princess actually has some good points] 'You are like four times my age' 'You smell as if you have never taken a bath in your life and I'm supposed to touch you?' 'I think you killed your last wife because she only had daughters. Did I hear that rumor right?' 'You look like a pig.' 'You're drunk.' 'Your parents were siblings and you only want to marry me because you don't have any sisters.' 'You live several weeks away and I don't want to leave my family and home like this:' [Add to your heart's content. Some good points, some shallow points. Seriously. The tale always gets told with shallow and reasonable criticisms, but the audience is always supposed to feel as if all points are shallow. I told you it's creepy. I have never heard a version without at least the age-thing and some reference to alcohol. But SURE, Princess just needs to suck it up. ] and finally: 'You have a funny beard. You look like a thrush. I shall call you King Thrushbeard.'
[This is a thrush. What a cute little birdie.]:
4. Somehow, this pisses the King of. [Maybe he used to sport this style in his youth]
The King throws a tantrum:
'You, my beloved daughter, are an ungrateful brat. You refuse to marry any of these wonderful suitors, these noble noblemen that would actually be perfect for you. And now you make fun of this handsome fella.
Obviously, I [mis]understand you perfectly: You don't want to marry a nobleman, so I guess you don't want to be a princess anymore. And you embarrass me in front of my old friends and drinking buddies, so I guess you don't want to be my daughter either.
You shall get your wish: The next beggar I see shall be your husband. You won't ever see this castle or me ever again.
Now go to your room, I will have a drink or two with these WONDERFUL men.'
5. Princess does not believe her father. Nevertheless, the next morning comes. There is a beggar. The beggar asks for a few coins. Instead, he gets a 14-year-old [or whatever age you picked] child bride [Child, yes. Even if she's 18, he's like twice her age at least] They have a very small wedding and then leave the castle. Princess cries the entire time. [reminder. The story usually gets told with the emphasis that Princess deserves this and is just being an ungrateful brat right now]
6. Beggar and Princess on their journey. Because she is now severely dehydrated, she stops crying. And she fucking scared. [Because her father just GIFTED her to a strange man without her consent and even went so far as to tell her, that whatever happens, she CANNOT come back and ask for his help. And she has no idea where the strange man lives or what he will do to her.
To clarify: The 'noble' suitors would have been pretty bad too. But she would still be a princess and have at least some protection. There would be a court and she would never be completely isolated. There would never be even a risk of her being forced into prostitution or sacrificed to some heathen god or many being eaten alive.
Most of that does not happen, but she can't know that for sure. Just imagine how you would feel in her situation. ]
To distract herself she starts to make light conversation:
"Who does that pretty meadow belong to?"
> "Oh that. It belongs to King Thrushbeard."
"Who does this lush forest belong to?"
> "Oh that. It belongs to King Thrushbeard."
...
[She always asks about something rich or pretty and it always belongs to King Thrushbeard. It's a day-long journey, so just do as many repetitions as you'd like. ]
7. They arrive at a really small, sad little hut.
Princess: "Who does that shabby hut belong to?"
Beggar: "That belongs to me. And because you are my wife now, it's your home as well. I expect you to cook and clean for me and tend to the garden, and I expect you to do well because I don't have time for a lazy wife.
[EWW]
[8. She probably gets raped. This part is never explicit because today's versions of any fairytale for children are rather tame. And the older versions don't NEED to say anything, because they originate in a time when OF COURSE you just casually raped your wife, especially on your wedding night.]
9. Princess has to deal with chores and fails, because of course she does. And Beggar is pissed and yells at her a lot. [He might also hit her.] But at least he is only at home at night, although she has no idea where he goes every day.
Options include
-basket weaving (She has bloody hands after this)
-pottery
-cooking (she doesn't actually fail at this, the soup is just a little bland. Beggar yells at her anyway.)
-cleaning
-laundry (almost drowns in a river)
-selling things at the market (she fails by being run over by a horse in this one.)
10. Beggar is fed up with his permanently 'mopey' [traumatized] and useless 'wife' [underaged slave]. So he sends her away to work at the castle as a kitchen girl.
Nobody recognizes her. [There are several possible reasons as to Why That Is. One worse than the next:
a) King may have ordered everybody to pretend to not know her. Just to make her feel miserable.
b) Princess is now malnourished and possibly sleep-deprived. Possibly her trauma manifests in severe nightmares. She isn't clean, her hair is different, she may have lost weight. Possibly her demeanor has changed too. Gone is the confident and playful girl. This girl speaks quietly, walks quietly and hunched over, and flinches at sudden movements.
c) Princess might be older now. We have no idea how long she lived in the hut with Beggar. A week? A year? Five Years? Who knows?]
11. She is actually relatively happy. She makes friends, learns skills from the other servants (who are actually patient and don't just yell at her). Maybe she gets to say hello to her horse again.
And Princess gets to steal small pieces of the exquisite food her father eats. [don't worry everybody does it] She picks these pieces up and puts them in a small pot under her skirt to eat them later. [Don't ask me about the logistics here. This is one of the big mysteries of my childhood. Why a pot? That must be uncomfortable. How inconspicuous can it be to do this? What if the King eats soup? ]
12. One day, there's a big banquette. King Thrushbeard is there, spots Princess, and says something like 'What a pretty girl. I don't care that she's working right now. My dick says I wanna dance with her, so I'm gonna.'
[In other versions he only notices her because the weird pot shatters and THEN decides to dance with her.]
13. Up-close, Princess realizes something:
King Thrushbeard IS the Beggar
14. King Thrushbeard officially introduces his wife to the world, Princess reconciles with her father. There is a second wedding, big this time.
[In some versions the King knew all along, in other versions he doesn't and just finds this hilarious.
In all versions this counts as a happy ending btw.]
---
Now the lesson here is that girls should always be kind and just do what their dads say. I guess. It's a terrible lesson.
#story#german fairytales#fairytale#creepy old man#terrible fairytales#thrushbeard#questionable morals
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In the Twilight universe, “vegetarian” vampires have golden eyes from drinking animal blood, a more ethical source than human blood, which would give them red eyes. It has also been established that a diet of human blood makes vampires physically stronger. So, if the Cullens wanted to become stronger without jeopardizing their morals, could they consume mosquitoes instead? How many mosquitoes would they have to eat to survive? Since mosquitoes drink from both humans and animals, what color would their eyes be? Orange? In this essay, I will
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You are a Demon Lord. You’ve finally managed to capture the Hero, the Head of The Church, and The King. You have them all sitting in front of you tied to chairs. “Now,” you calmly pick up an ice pick, “Which one of you has been scaring children telling them I will eat them?”
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You are on the run from a dragon. Not because it wants to kill you, quite the opposite in fact. This dragon hoards powerful adventurers and unfortunately your skills caught its eye. Now it will stop at nothing until you are a part of its guild.
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As a skeleton with unlimited regeneration powers, you discover a new renewable resource - bones. You decide to build something grand out of the 206 bones you have in your body.
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Both of your parents made deals with fae about giving them their firstborn. Different fae… Now you live under the joint custody of two faeries who don’t like this situation one bit.
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The ritual calls for 100 sacrifices, but reading carefully you realize it never specified they had to be human. Deciding to be a smartass, you got a petri dish full of bacteria and sacrificed that instead.
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