Why won't anyone just tell me they hate me already, I know they do, I'm not stupid, why won't they just say it already?

.

I listen because i know how it feels to be unheard and ignored

Does anyone else feel like they never will be loved? Like the only way you’d ever actually be loved is if an AI or something was created-programmed to love you? But that’s obviously impossible. So you’re stuck basically knowing you’re never gonna be loved.

They hurt me so bad every time I see them, but I still come around because if I stopped I’d be completely alone. I’d rather be hurt than be alone.

I think I’d like to kill myself. Maybe if I do I’ll be free of this torture.

Nobody apologized for how they treated me they just blamed me for how I reacted

***TW SH****

I cut my wrist for the first time in almost two years. God, I missed it. It’s hard to place why I ever stopped— because a stupid person who lied and used me convinced me I was too special to do it? My blade is the only thing that has never abandoned me.

I wish people would stop telling me I’m lazy. I’m not lazy, I’m too broken to function in this demanding life.

Honestly

I wish people cherish me as much as I do them. I wish people were passionate about me just like I am about them. I've never been the friend that's missed or the friend you call up to hangout with. I'm never anyone's favorite. I want to be cherished like I cherish others.

this is for the bitches who felt bad for inanimate objects, who started worrying about death before the age of 8, who paced the kitchen having an anxiety attack every day before school, who always asked before doing something harmless incase it somehow impacted someone else, who always asked to eat food or shower or sleep in their own home, who took hour long showers or baths and just dissociated only to not shower for a week because you hate the way it makes you feel, who was spoken to in the hallway outside of your classroom often, who wouldnt eat the food prepared for them because the texture was off, those same people who ate it anyway because youd get told "i spent money on this/i made this for you" and feel bad, who felt bad to say they didnt like something gifted to them, who changed their opinions to match the ones of everyone else around you, who grew up with people several years older than them, who learned how to cry silently at the age of 9, who developed sexual urges before the age of 12, who just wished something so bad would happen to them so their parents/loved ones would realize how much they actually loved them and feel bad, i see you. i love you. i feel you.

I want it to stop.

I broke my mirror today. I hated seeing what was in it so much that I smashed it to bits. It made me bleed a lot, but I didn’t care. Not today. I don’t care about anything today.

I just want the love bomb part. Can’t I be love bomb led by the same man for the rest of my life?

tbh

I don’t want to do any of this anymore.

I’m so tired of hearing everyone telling me I need to “work harder” or “work more”

I was forced into intense manual labor since I was a child, I’m 24 now. I’ve been working my whole life. I’m so tired of it. I just want to garden and bake bread and die.

I hope you'll forgive me if I decide to commit suicide.