Gloomy but beautiful morning thoughts

(if you have multiple add it in tags!)

god just

girls

ya know?

i have a friend that i'm in love with. she's arguably my best friend. we only had one year together. not even that really. we had seven months together. she lives in a different country. i guess the foreign exchange love stories were true. she's beautiful. physically, of course she is, but i mean essentially. from the depths of her soul that girl is beautiful. she's beautiful in the way she cries when she steps on snails after it rains. she's beautiful in the way that she always seems to text me back, even if there's a 7 hour time difference. she's beautiful in the way she gets so excited when we plan future adventures together. i had never believed in fate, but then again i had never met this girl until this past year. i am studying to teach english as a second language. i'm planning on getting a minor in her native language. i've planned to move to her country for years before we met. fate seemed to know i needed her. for a while it felt like i was far more interested in being her friend than she was in being mine, but eventually i realized our bond ran far deeper than i had first anticipated. i love this girl. from the depths of my being i love this girl. we are making christmas cookies while facetiming this week. it'll be 11 pm for her and 4 pm for me because i have work and she didn't want to wait any longer. i love this girl. i am notoriously bad at following through with gifts but she already has hers with the instructions to wait until christmas to open. i was too impatient to wait. i love this girl. i look at the price for flights almost daily and i dream about seeing her again. i know she does the same. when we said goodbye it was quick. she was scared of getting emotional so she made sure it was a short goodbye. i wish she hadn't. i wish she hugged me longer. i wish she hadn't left. she cried in the car with her host family on the way to the airport. i sat and cried in my car for hours. she read my note on the plane ride home. i read hers on the floor of my room. we were five thousand miles apart but we cried together that night. i love this girl. i haven't seen her in person for one hundred and seventy seven days. it feels like a lifetime. my feelings haven't lessened. i love this girl.

sometimes i think she might love me too, but maybe she's just friendly. sometimes it's hard to tell. however, i know without a doubt that no matter how this ends, in heartbreak or in love, that is is worth it. she deserves to be loved. she deserves to be loved the way i love her, from the depths of my soul. i love this girl.

SKAM Masterpost

All of SKAM, in one convenient post. That I can pin to my tumblr, with the hopes that people will stop asking how to watch the show, despite the numerous links to the episodes on my tumblr! Ever the optimist, I know. :-D

If the embedded videos aren't working for you for some reason, or because Dailymotion does something weird again, there are download links at the bottom of the post, and those should hopefully work forever.

Enjoy!

people who just know their left and right is so crazy to me. like you don't have to check??? you just know????

am i re-entering my kit x ty era???

yes. yes, i am.

matthew fairchild never knew how to love someone in a healthy way because by the time he realized it wasn't healthy he was either already heartbroken or too self-deprecating to want to change it.

the only person matthew considered himself to love in the right way was james herondale. james who hated himself almost as much as matthew did. james who was always there to listen. james who would try to warn him time after time yet was still there to pick up the pieces when matthew ignored the warnings. james who was so so special and so loved. he loved james more than life itself.

there is a beautifully fine line between loving someone so much you'd let them go and loving someone so much you'd lose yourself. it's a line matthew fairchild has walked his whole life. a line of constantly questioning who he was because he lost a bit of himself with every person he incountered. a line that kept everyone at arms length because he was too busy flailing and trying to keep his balance. a line that left him heartbroken more often than not. a line that left him in a constant battle.

there is a beautifully fine line between loving someone so much you'd let them go and loving someone so much you'd lose yourself. it's a line matthew fairchild has walked his whole life. a line of constantly questioning who he was because he lost a bit of himself with every person he incountered. a line that kept everyone at arms length because he was too busy flailing and trying to keep his balance. a line that left him heartbroken more often than not. a line that left him in a constant battle.

as a kid there was no greater sadness than going to bed with someone there and waking up without them

i feel like james and matthew would love super mario brothers. like they would get SO WORKED UP.

matthew would be screaming at james like JUMP YOU STUPID MF JUMP

and james would be like I'M TRYING THERE'S F*CKING LAVA MATTHEW WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

christopher would be really good at the game and like get so far ahead that it's pushing james and matthew's characters into like fire and drops and both of them are like CHRISTOPHER SLOW THE HELL DOWN or CHRISTOPHER IF YOU DON'T SLOW THE F*CK DOWN WE'RE GOING TO SACRIFICE YOU FOR THE GREATER GOOD

thomas is the opposite

like none of them have ever seen someone play worse that thomas does

they're literally always telling him to bubble

especially in the castle levels and they're all screaming at him to bubble because when he gets stressed he just stops playing and watches as he dies

alastair and cordelia are always so appalled when they watch them but lucie is always down to join in

she gives as good as she gets too

i love you <3

matthew dresses oscar up in vests and he throws dog fashion shows that only the other merry thieves are invited to