I wish I never had sex. I wish I never fell in love. I wish I never needed anyone.

I wish I could sing like Ellie. I need an outlet for this pain cause its quickly consuming me.

Dear Pandy...

"Rock me real slowly... Put a bib on me... I'm just like a baby, drooling over you The things you do..." These days, the things I can't change are the visions that haunt me... I'm still findin' myself, let alone a soulmate, I'm just sayin'... I feel like our relationship changed, That or it never existed. You are my everything I love you through everything I done did everything to you... Have you forgiven me for everything? Is this a forever thing? Hate that I treated it like it's a whatever thing Trust me babe, this shit is everything to me. I take my car, drive it till its empty. Spend on you until I'm empty. This shit is everything to me, this shit is everything Don't know where we stand, I used to hit you bout everything Are we still good? Are we still good? If I need to talk are you around? Are you down for the cause? Are you down? Are you down? You still down? Call your number and it goes to voice mail, text you and you just see it.... What am I supposed to do after we've done doing everything that we do Who is your replacement? Are we still good? Are we still good?

There is nothing quite like love. When you’ve been through deep lows and steep highs with someone, emotionally and everything in between… and you finally get to that moment when you look into their eyes and you see and feel no reservations, just pure adoration and appreciation…. it’s the best feeling in the whole world.

I have always loved you and I always knew you did too, but now for the first time I finally without a doubt felt it back.

Understand you can't understand it

If you have never watched Gossip Girl, and you don't know who Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf is... ... Then you can't understand my love life. Sorry. Lol

I need this, I hope this is true for me...

Just don't give up, okay? Because someone out there feels the same exact way you do right now. Because this is life. And it's not supposed to be easy, or perfect. Because even if it was, we'd all still have something to complain about. So just hang in there. Whatever's going wrong, will eventually go right. Whether it's friends, family, or boys. Nothing will ever be damaged forever. Like they say, in the end you're happy. And if you're not happy, well then it's not the end now is it?

Castaway

I have a feeling that the one who helps the most will always get left behind. To busy pushing others to realize her shoes have holes, her clothes are torn, and she’s pushed them to where they want to be and now she’s lost...

That moment when you end a relationship, in holiday season... but all your friends hated him so they are not there for you in your break up....... Oh. Happy holidays right?

When you relate to lyrics...

We were in love.. but I was the only one. So I was the only lonely one... You took me out and left me in the deep end... And I never should've fucked you in the first place... 'Cause I thought you were the one so it was worth it... Cause I was weak then and you knew it... 'Cause my brother had died... But if it was nothing, then why'd you call it love... Why would you call it love when you knew that it wasn't... If this was not love then please tell me what was it...

I can almost bet...

You can use your voices to bash people but you won’t use your voice to protest injustice for Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Delbert “Demz” Gutierrez (who is in the hospital in critical condition after being run over by a police car), Rumain Brisbon, Tamir Rice, Ezell Ford, Dante Parker, John Crawford III, Tyree Woodson, Victor White III, Jordan Baker, Andy Lopez, Kimani Gray, Chavis Carter, Kendrec McDade, and plenty of others that had been innocently killed by police officers.

That’s the problem with putting others first; you’ve taught them you come second.

read that, again. 

things I need to beat into my brain

(via nicotinas)

Sigh. The paradox.

Too REAL.

Real.

Oh really life? Fine.

Being patient is a quality I never strongly possessed since birth. And now I need it in eons for everything. My work life, but more for my personal life... And all of life in general. And I'm sick of it! Tired of being patient... I just want what I want now! (Sigh) But I honestly don't have a better choice. So.. I will continue to cultivate patience... Because that's what you have to do to move along. Things not agreeable to you, you have to learn, cause it will better you down the road.

Day Wondering

Sometimes I wonder, do we even have a chance, at all? Do you ever think as seriously about me as I do for you?

I feel it inside… What I dreaded the most: reality.

Everyday that I daydream about you, it gets less fantasy, and more real. And now… It’s no longer a dream…

I just wonder… day-wonder.

What, on, earth!

You are crazy lol, who would eat that!!???

Like lullabies you are, Forever in my mind. I see you in all, The pieces in my life. Though you weren't mine, You were my first love. I wanted to go away with you, And I will leave all my troubles here. I wanted to run away with you, And I will bring all my dreams and fears. Like lullabies you are, Forever in my mind. I see you in all, The pieces in my life. Though you weren't mine... You were my first love. I wanted to start again with you, And I will leave all my worries here. I wanted only you. I know that I felt with you. Like lullabies you are, Forever in my mind. I see you in all, The pieces in my life. Though you weren't mine... You were my first love.