well i did get rngsus’d out of a loving dad. and i talk to my mom everyday but shes not good with emotions. she just cares that i perform, bc that’s how she was raised. im sure ill survive, as soon as i accept that im one of those people that people dont commit to.
i’m not sure why i get so sad when someone doesn’t want me
perhaps it’s the same as how you have to think for just a second to remember that two plus two is four
or the moment just before you feel your hand burn when you touch a hot stove
these times when your body forgets
yes, perhaps it is no different
for i have always known i am unlovable
so perhaps for just a moment
my body forgets
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i’m not sure why i get so sad when someone doesn’t want me
perhaps it’s the same as how you have to think for just a second to remember that two plus two is four
or the moment just before you feel your hand burn when you touch a hot stove
these times when your body forgets
yes, perhaps it is no different
for i have always known i am unlovable
so perhaps for just a moment
my body forgets
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i love coming back to tumblr after a break and seeing that everyone is still as weird as me like yall still my people fr
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that dog eat Thhat timamto
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why do i even try
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yeah im not doing it either but dont be like me
normalise leaving after the first red flag. i won’t do it but you guys should
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do yall reckon if i keep loveposting i could attract cute girls. do yall reckon that if i keep posting about wanting to kiss and cuddle ill find someone TO kiss and cuddle...
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if ive learned anything from working out its that when youre too tired to think rationally what you need is a mantra. something you can always remember and repeat that will get you moving. i’ve learned that this applies in real life as well. if work, relationships, mental health, or whatever it may be has me so tired to the point where i think i can no longer go on, i repeat the mantra ive spent the last 4 months teaching myself:
“you can, you must”
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“there can be no strength without sacrifice, and no sacrifice without strength.” - video game character
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right and wrong are subjective. think of it this way, if theres a “right” person out there, what makes you a “right” person for them. you have to do whatever you can to become who you think is your best self. the closer you get, the more likely you are to find someone who agrees with you about what “right” is. you cannot and should not search for someone based on them sharing your flaws, but rather sharing your resolve to overcome them.
People say you're not "too much" for the right people. What fucking people? Where are these people who are going to be there for me when my arms are covered in blood? When I'm screaming and crying and banging my head off the wall. The "right people" don't exist. Nobody wants to fucking deal with this shit.
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