Gryffindor: *Screams*
Slytherin: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Hufflepuff: Should we do something?
Ravenclaw: No, I want to see who wins.
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Slytherin: Talk dirty to me, baby~
Ravenclaw: The dishes.
Slytherin: Wh-
Ravenclaw: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.
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Ravenclaw: closes a cabinet
*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*
Slytherin: What was that?
Ravenclaw: The sound of someone else's problem.
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Hufflepuff: You know, Slytherin gives Ravenclaw flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.
Gryffindor: Okay.
*Later*
Gryffindor: *gives Ravenclaw flowers*
Ravenclaw: ???
Gryffindor: I don't know, I'm confused as well.
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Slytherin: Hey, Ravenclaw, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Ravenclaw: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Slytherin: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Ravenclaw: Can't really say I have.
Slytherin: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Ravenclaw: Sorry, Slytherin. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.
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Ravenclaw: I know you love them.
Gryffindor: I am not in love with Hufflepuff!
Ravenclaw:, staring at Gryffindor: I never said who...
Gryffindor: *realizes*
Gryffindor: Shit. Well, anyways-
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Ravenclaw: I know you love them.
Gryffindor: I am not in love with Hufflepuff!
Ravenclaw:, staring at Gryffindor: I never said who...
Gryffindor: *realizes*
Gryffindor: Shit. Well, anyways-
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Slytherin: Hey, Ravenclaw, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Ravenclaw: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Slytherin: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Ravenclaw: Can't really say I have.
Slytherin: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Ravenclaw: Sorry, Slytherin. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.
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Hufflepuff: You know, Slytherin gives Ravenclaw flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.
Gryffindor: Okay.
*Later*
Gryffindor: *gives Ravenclaw flowers*
Ravenclaw: ???
Gryffindor: I don't know, I'm confused as well.
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Ravenclaw: closes a cabinet
*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*
Slytherin: What was that?
Ravenclaw: The sound of someone else's problem.
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Slytherin, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Gryffindor: But – that’s just a trash can.
Slytherin: It sure is!
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*Slytherin is cooking*
Gryffindor: Any chance that’s for me?
Slytherin: It’s for Ravenclaw. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.
Gryffindor: Can't I join you guys?
Slytherin: I said I'm planning to make 'bad choices', not 'mistakes'.
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Gryffindor: *Screams*
Slytherin: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Hufflepuff: Should we do something?
Ravenclaw: No, I want to see who wins.
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Slytherin: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
Hufflepuff: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Gryffindor: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Ravenclaw: Bold of you to assume I have friends.
Slytherin: WHAT ARE WE THEN? AQUAINTANCES?
Ravenclaw: Of course not!
Ravenclaw: A pain in my arse is what you all are.
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Ravenclaw: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!
Hufflepuff: It's kind of complicated, but Gryff-
Ravenclaw: Got it. Forget I asked.
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Ravenclaw: I only accept cash apologies. That's why it's called accountability, Gryf.
Gryffindor: look I didn't mean to get you arrested. Again.
Ravenclaw: show me the money.
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Kenji: *pitches an idea*
Juliette, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!
Warner, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.
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