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rainydaymiscellaneous · 2 months

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Until the End, My Love (Astarion x Reader)

Warning: this literally might be the saddest piece of fiction I’ve written and it includes death and grief.

The battle of Ketheric would change everyone’s life. You had given so much for this group of misfits. Loved them all deeply as a dysfunctional family. But Astarion.

Gods you loved that man to the stars and back. You knew the day before, what was going to happen. You sat on your favorite spot near the lake as Withers approached.

“Withers. I know you cannot tell me my death. But can you answer if I’ll die tomorrow?” You asked the creature. Withers hadn’t seen much good in humanity. However he saw the good in you. How pure and unconditional your love was.

“I cannot speak of death.” He said.

You looked at the creature. You could see it in his eyes. “Then do what humans do. Answer without words.” You said softly. He paused, knowing this wouldn’t make a difference.

He nodded yes to your question. You seemed strangely at peace with his answer. “Does anyone else?” You asked.

“Only the one you target.” He admitted.

You nodded. Your life and Ketheric would be taken. You got up, thanking Withers for his honesty and sat at a desk in the ruined home at camp and began writing. To everyone. One for Gale, one for Astarion, one for Wyll, one for Karlach, one for Lae’zel, one for Shadowheart, one for Halsin, and even one for Jaheira.

Astarion walked over as you slid the letters in the desk. “Writing?” He asked. You nodded. “We’re doing this. Aren’t we?” He asked.

“Yes..” You said.

“Well whatever happens, I’m by your side my love. Until the end,” he said. You wanted to tell him that the end would be sooner than he thought. But to break his heart like that would be too cruel, especially since the wound of Cazador’s intent behind his scars was too fresh.

“Astarion?” You asked softly.

“Yes, my darling?”

“Do you fear death?” You asked.

Such an odd question that you asked so sincerely.

“Uhm. Well, no. I know what death is like. When you turn into a vampire, you’re dead. It’s like a warm blanket. Of course when you become a vampire though, you do feel like the warm blanket is suddenly yanked off of you.” He explained.

“So it’s comforting to you?” You asked.

“In a way, I guess.” He shrugged. “Why? Have another philosophical conversation with Withers?” He joked. You let out a small smile but it seemed like you weren’t there all the way.

“In a way.” Was the small answer given to him.

“Why are you worried about that, don’t you regenerate?” He asked. You nodded.

“I mean, I do. But it takes years.” You said. Astarion kissed your forehead.

“Gods forbid something happens to you, I’d wait a million if it meant I’d see you again.” He said softly.

You hugged him close to you that night, listening to his murmuring in his sleep. The next morning before everyone was up, you put the letters into everyone’s bags carefully.

Swords clashed, body after body fell until everyone stood in the area just before Ketheric. Everyone seemed so tired so you offered a brief rest. The black shadows of the land felt so heavy as you looked around at your companions. You pulled Wyll aside, asking for your final favor.

“When it seems like everything is about to crash down, take Astarion and run.” You told your friend. He looked confused.

“What about you?” He asked.

“I will be fine.” You said. He frowned feeling as if he hadn’t been told everything. “Y/n-“

“Please. Promise me.” You begged. Wyll could tell this was important.

So he simply nodded and whispered “okay. Okay I promise.” you hugged him. It felt more than a friend hug. More like a “something bad is about to happen and I am scared” hug. So he hugged back.

As the battle raged and the illithid colony was revealed you kept Wyll uneasy. You trekked deep into the depths of the colony, freeing people of their pods and allowing them to escape.

“One last act of kindness.” You thought. “One more before death.”

As the skeleton of death looked you in the eyes, you drew your sword. You felt the chill of death and gave Wyll that look. Instantly he understood everything. You knew this was the end. He shook as he yanked Astarion back, grabbing Karlach’s arm.

They thrashed, Karlach not understanding until she saw the tears on your face and a mouthing of “Thank you” to Wyll. Astarion dropped his blades screaming for Wyll to stop.

“What the fuck soldier!?” Karlach yelled. Then she saw you. The power they’d knew would be lethal. He dragged them through the strange fleshy door and shoved them through it, landing next to them. You seemed so adamant about making sure it stayed open before you entered. Now Wyll knew why.

“What the hell are you doing Y/N IS STILL IN THERE!” Astarion yelled.

“I promised her.” Wyll said with a defeated expression. Astarion looked at the man upset and then as the door as he constantly smacked it, trying to get it to open.

Halsin, Jaheira and Gale came running over. “What’s going on?” Gale asked.

“It’s Y/n- she’s fucking in there with Ketheric!” Astarion said.

“What!? Why are you all out here?!” Jaheira asked.

“We were in there and Wyll dragged us out!” Karlach said.

“Why the hells would you do that?!” Gale asked. Wyll looked at him with the most mentally exhausted look he had ever seen.

“She made me promise.” Wyll said, his lips trembling as he spoke. Halsin looked at the door with a solemn expression.

“She is going to use her power.” Halsin said. Everyone knew that your powers bordered the strength of Gale’s when unleashed. They had seen only a fraction of it when they unleashed hell on the goblin camp. You went comatose for days, nearly dying if it weren’t for Halsin.

Lae’zel, Shadowheart and a few Harpers came down.

“Where’s Y/n?” Shadowheart asked.

“In there with Ketheric.” Gale breathed out.

“Gods damn this bloody door!” Astarion screamed, punching it repeatedly.

A loud bang emitted, the earth shaking under everyone’s feet as they felt the aftershocks of what you done. The door finally opened, everyone sprinting inside. Aylin stood bloodied over you, her hands shaking.

“She-she freed me right before-“ was all she could get out. You laid on the ground, your eyes glazed over as Astarion sprinted over, holding you.

“No. No- no- Don’t do this to me- don’t you dare do this-“ he said shaking you. Not a stir. Not a response.

Time felt frozen. Still in itself as Astarion shook you. He let out a haunting screaming sob, clutching you close to his body as Wyll dropped to his knees.

If he had just ignored you, maybe you’d still be here. Maybe you’d be savoring the taste of victory with your friends.

Shadowheart couldn’t stop thinking about your respect. Granted you followed Selûne, you always admired Shadowheart for being so devout to Shar. You even went as far as to stop and make camp once you realized you unintentionally stumbled into the Gauntlet of Shar so Shadowheart could see it herself.

Lae’zel thought back to your kindness to her. The unwavering kindness she experienced when you didn’t judge her for being Githyanki. You made her this ridiculous friendship bracelet that she hated to her very core. Yet still kept it wrapped around the hilt of her blade.

Wyll’s mind kept replaying on repeat the lengths you went through just to keep him safe. Not once did you judge him for making a deal with a devil. Not once did you call him a foolish child for making that choice.

Gale kept reminding himself how much you loved to learn. The ticking time bombs, you called yourself and Gale when referring to the magic you both held. You always kept your curiosity and your wit about you, making you adored like a little sister to him.

Karlach. Gods. The pain she was feeling was unfathomable. The way you went to great and dangerous lengths to fix her engine without hesitation. The friendship, the best friend she had made from drinking together late into the night, the best friend she made from joking on the road together, the woman she loved like family was on the ground.

Jaheira hadn’t known you long. But from the look on everyone’s faces she could tell your death was like a meteor hitting earth, causing the worst catastrophic damage she had seen. She remembered the loyalty. The way you didn’t hesitate downing that stupid wine she dosed with the truth telling herb once you found out what it was, just so she’d trust you.

Halsin kept thinking if he had just found a way to block those fucking powers, maybe just maybe you’d still be standing. He was never one for anger, never one to waste emotion in such a way. And yet he felt it. Towards Ketheric who was dead across from you. And towards himself, for not blocking your power when he had the chance.

But Astarion. Gods. Astarion.

He had suffered so much. He couldn’t remember spaces of his life due to his long life. But he remembered every moment with you. The moment he held a blade to your neck and you didn’t even flinch, to the moment he admitted that he loved you more than life itself, he remembered it all.

This should’ve been a victory. This should have been everyone screaming and laughing about how they beat the immortal idiot Ketheric into the ground. Instead heads were bowed, tears were falling and his throat was hoarse from screaming.

“You stupid stubborn girl” he kept thinking. “Come back to me my stupid idiot. Come back.”

As they dragged your body through the portal, Isobel rushed over with a smile that quickly faltered when she saw the body in her arms. A hand flew to her mouth and Zelvor’s eyes went wide. Your final act of kindness was letting him live after being captured. After the selfish sacrifice he made.

Everyone stood at camp, Isobel stepping forward as she read pages from a hymn of Selûne. Halsin laid you in a canoe, your sword in your arms as the tiefling children laid flowers next to you. Not one eye had no tears that day. Astarion pressed one last kiss to your cold skin.

They pushed the canoe off the shore, firing an arrow of flame. The canoe slowly lit, the smoke hanging over the shadowy lake. Astarion seemed so numb now. So tired. So done with it all. He wanted to be in the canoe with you, going into eternal rest by your side.

Lae’zel drew her blade, raising it in respect. Wyll followed, along with Karlach. The mages and clerics took knees, Astarion kneeling where the canoe left shore with his head bowed. Everyone was quiet, even Aylin the daughter of Selûne, the goddess of light had nothing to say.

Then… the sunlight came.

It emerged over the mountains slowly, almost going unnoticed until Gale felt the heat of a summer’s day on his skin and opened his eyes. He dropped his staff, shocked as he looked up. The sound of his staff made others look up seeing the sunrise.

“She brought us light.” Aylin whispered in shock. Astarion looked up at the sun, closing his eyes as tears flooded down his cheeks.

Everyone gathered around camp, sitting at their packs and it was so quiet. Silence was once desired by many of them because of the annoying chatter and laughter late into the night. But this was something they craved more than anything.

“Guys!” Karlach said. Everyone looked at her as she held up an envelope. “Y/n wrote a letter!” She said. Astarion was confused as Wyll looked at his pack.

“I’ve got one too.” He realized.

“So do I!” Shadowheart gasped.

Everyone dug around their packs before reading each of their own. As each one finished, they moved closer to one another, hugging their friends.

Astarion sat still reading his quietly in his tent.

“Astarion, my love

I know you hate cliches but I will say, the ‘if you’re reading this, I’m dead trope’ is rather interesting.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes but continued.

“I love you so much my love. You mean everything to me. It’s funny really. How I spent most of my life focused on other things I didn’t even realize when I fell in love.

I enjoyed our late night talks of poetry (though even as your lover I will say some of your opinions are pretentious)” again, he scoffed. “I enjoyed your banter, I enjoyed being held by you. Even in these wretched shadows, I found safety in your arms.

Take care of Scratch for me. I know you might not like him but he’s a good boy. And make sure he has playdates with Wallace, he sees Scratch as his big brother.

I don’t want you to fret over this. I’m not gone forever. Just for now. I promise in my next life, I will find you. I love you so much, I would walk to the edges of the earth to find your love once again.

Until the end, my love.

-Y/n.”

All of the companions stood together at the campfire, pouring one out for their fallen friend. Even as the battle of the Absolute came, everyone had justice on their minds for the one they lost.

It was expected for everyone to go their separate ways, especially after the whole tadpole conundrum was finally solved. Instead, all of them stuck together. Even Halsin, who craved nature stayed. Astarion didn’t Ascend, instead, with the help of his friends they killed Cazador and freed his brothers and sisters.

They moved only in the night now, seeing as the tadpole was the only thing granting him the ability to walk in the sun. Truth be told, he couldn’t see the sun anymore without being reminded of his love.

Years passed, everyone sat in a tavern, discussing the next bounty on their list to cross off. They were all talking when suddenly and without warning, Astarion stood up, knocking over a mug of ale.

“Aye! Watch it-“

Wyll’s gaze followed Astarion’s and he stood up as well. Everyone followed their gaze to the woman who seemed almost ethereal in beauty as she smiled.

“Miss me?”

#astarion x female reader #astarion x you #astarion x reader #astarion x oc #astarion #angst

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 3 months

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“Little Light” (Astarion x Fem reader)

Note: sorry for me being gone, I now have two jobs and I also kind of fell down the BG3 rabbit hole. So. Yeaaahhh. Don’t worry you guys, I am still writing for Into the Fire I just am trying to work on the other chapters so it’s actually complete and I don’t have to worry about it being incomplete.

But in the mean time if you have any astarion related requests feel free to send them bishes in.

It was a dark night when Tav came into camp. A night no one expected to remember but gods, it would forever be seared into Astarion’s mind. It was different from the average night of his work. You see, he brought back a girl. Not unusual for the hero after saving the grove but it was unusual this night.

Bloodshed seemed to naturally follow the ragtag group of chaotic heroes. It was something they all got used to after a while, typically resulting in them washing their armor in a river trying to get the crimson stains out and the metallic smell to leave.

Tav said he was going to a tavern, which no one batted an eye at. Hells, Karlach joined him so he’d have a drinking buddy. But now they had come back with an unconscious woman in Karlach’s arms.

She was bleeding, that alone alerted Astarion to her presence from the mouth watering smell. He could control the urges, he never let them go out of control since he escaped the clutches of Cazador. Around blood, though, Astarion would become aware of his teeth. Like his senses would overwhelm him. Typically this would result in his little looks to Tav to quietly let him go off and find a willing victim, which he’d give a nod to so he could subtly slip away.

This night was different. Tav seemed more panicked than usual. He was asking Karlach to be careful. He kept trying to keep the girl’s eyes open. Karlach kept shooting Astarion a panicked “help” look. He walked over confused as Karlach laid her down.

And there was you. A girl who had been stabbed that he had never seen before. But why did Tav care? There was a difference between him worrying for random strangers versus this girl. There was a clear familiarity between the two but considering the tense situation, Astarion wasn’t asking right now.

“Y/n, keep your eyes open.” Tav demanded.

“I-I’m trying..” he heard you say quietly. Your eyelids felt like lead.

“Is magic not working?” Astarion asked.

“His powers are shot from the battle earlier!” Karlach says. You lazily looked at the unfamiliar voice.

“Red… eyes…” You muttered.

“Halsin! Make yourself useful!” Astarion yelled. You saw the fangs when he yelled. Most people when bleeding out would be freaked the fuck out by a vampire lingering so close. But you felt weirdly safer with him being the one to help.

Halsin rushed over, muttering incantations. A blue glow engulfed your vision and you finally succumbed to the urge to sleep. Halsin let out a small breath of relief.

“The girl will be fine. She needs to rest, regain her energy.” He says. Tav looked relieved by this.

Finally, Astarion felt it appropriate for some questions.

“Tav, who is this?” He asked. Tav sighed, looking down at your resting face.

“My sister. Y/n. She wanted to travel with us, which I said yes to. But then we were ambushed and Y/n took a stab meant for me.” He said. He sounded guilt ridden. Like he wished it was himself lying there instead of you.

Tav rarely mentioned his family. When he did, the only positive light seemed to be about you, his sister. Though in his tales of his childhood, he never mentioned a name. It was always “my little sister” or “my sister” instead of “Y/n”.

Astarion saw the emergency end, him standing up fully. “I need to feed.” He said before dismissing himself.

Hours passed, he finally returned to camp and you were fully awake. You were sipping on tea, Karlach wrapping a blanket around your body. “Thank you, Karlach.” You said softly. Your voice was light. Like a breeze on a summers day in a meadow.

“So you’re the sister?” Astarion asked, sauntering over in his usual manner. You gave a warm smile to him, something he hadn’t seen from anyone.

“I suppose that is me.” You nodded. Something was different about you.

“And you’re fine? Traveling with a vampire?” Astarion asked.

“Should I not be?” You asked.

“Most would be off put by it.” Astarion said. You simply shrugged, sipping your tea before saying

“I’m not most, I suppose.”

He rose a brow at this. He noticed the new staff, off to the side. “You’re a wizard?” He asked.

“Cleric.” You said. He chuckled.

“Tav’s sister is a cleric?” He asked.

“Indeed.” You nodded.

“I suppose that must mean you’re devoted to a deity.” Astarion said.

“Eilistraee.” You answered.

“Oh gods, you’re not like Halsin are you? Constantly speaking about the ‘joys of nature’s gifts’” he asks. You let out a snort at his tone before laughing.

“No! No. Though I understand him, I don’t believe us to be the same. I don’t operate on the Oakfather, that would be Silvanus. I have less strict rules on good and evil compared to followers of the oak father.” You shrugged.

“Ah. So if I pickpocketed an evil man, you’d allow it?” He asked.

“Of course, if he was truly evil. Think of it as balancing the scales. With unconventional revenge.” You shrugged making him chuckle.

“I think I’ll enjoy having you around.” He said with a smile. You smiled back.

“You are different.” A voice said. Astarion jolted, looking behind him to see Withers, the confusing undead creature that hung around camp.

“You must be Withers.” You said not turning around.

“Indeed. You see things others cannot.” He said. You nodded. “Pasts. Present. Futures. All you can peer into. Yet you do not bear the tadpole as your brother does.” Astarion looked over at you.

“I’ve always been able to. Hear things others can’t. See things, others can’t.” You said.

“You’re a seer?” Astarion asked. You nodded.

“Unfortunately.” You said.

“Oh? What do you see in our futures? Do we get this wretched thing away from us?” He asked, pointing to his head. You chuckled.

“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. I must touch the person to see.” You said.

“Ah. Well consider me an experiment.” He said. You paused, setting down your cup.

“Are you comfortable with this? I must see everything before being able to see the future. You’d be sharing your past.” You warned. He hesitated but found himself nodded. Everyone in camp already knew the extent of Cazador. One more person didn’t make a difference, right?

You held out your hands, him slowly putting his over yours. You closed your eyes inhaling. As if nature itself was speaking, there was a breeze, petals of pear blossoms flowing in it. The sweet smell filled his nose as he slowly relaxed.

“You suffered. Made a choice that landed an attack from angry people. You made a deal with a vampire… you were his… Six others fell victim as well. His reign was a terror. You would feed from whatever you could. You were frightened. Scared that that was what your immorality would amount to.” You muttered. Your grip on his hands grew stronger as Astarion noticed your expression with your closed eyes.

Empathy. Sadness. Sadness for his experiences.

“You were captured while looking for prey by mindflayers. You don’t remember much from it but you were almost… grateful. Something would finally drag you out from his clutches. The tadpole, it did something. Severed that urge to follow his command. To obey his will. To your surprise you find a friend in my brother.” You spoke softly.

Your fingers slid into his, him seeing a light yellow glow from your hands. “Your future is…” you jolted opening your eyes, the light of your abilities dying. Your face flooded with a blush staring at the vampire shocked.

“Are you alright?” He asked, concerned by the almost alarmed look in your eyes.

“Y-yes I… Erm. Aha. Took a lot out of me. Never did a reading on a 200 year old vampire.” You chuckled nervously. “I should go! Tav wanted me to help him with something!” You said getting up and almost sprinting away.

Withers cocked his head looking over. “She has seen something in you.” He says. Astarion seemed confused by the statement. Why lie to him about what you saw..?

This was a question that Astarion wanted to ask, but held off on it. But you seemed to wiggle your way into his heart over the course of a few weeks of traveling. He loved how chaotic you were, cracking jokes about imminent death and “if Tav dies, I call dibs on his sword.”

Shadowheart of course was disturbed by your odd nature but put up with it, due to your relation with Tav. You had made Astarion smile, laugh a few times as well. All in all, you seemed to be a light in darkness. Which was quickly turning his perspective ironic once they had all made their way into the shadowy parts of the forest, touched by a curse.

You seemed deeply drained as you walked, despite holding a torch. Everyone else seemed fine but you seemed so tired. You were walking when you stumbled, Astarion catching you. He passed his torch off to Karlach.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” Astarion asked.

“The nature here. It-It hurts. Like a f-fever that won’t die out.” You winced.

“Gods… Y/n, the harper is taking us somewhere safe, do you think you’re able to make it?” Tav asked clearly concerned.

“It’s- It’s getting harder to walk.” You said, panting from trying to fight off the dark energies of the forest. Astarion lifted you onto his back.

“I’ve got you, little light. Don’t worry.” He assured. That little nickname. That sweet tone. You knew when the cocky bastard was joking. But that tone had been more sincere than anything anyone in the group had heard.

They followed the Harper into the darkness, torches in hand as they eventually reached the last light inn. You held onto Astarion, feeling the cold skin of the undead man. You put your forehead on his back, him feeling the warmth of your body. It was too warm for this to be normal. Whatever plagued the forest was making you sick.

“Stop! Who are you?” A woman halted as they crossed the bridge.

“My name is Tav- look, my sister is sick, something is-is wrong she needs help!” Tav said stepping forward. The woman drew her sword.

“Jaheira! They saved my life, they’re not the enemy.” The harper guide said. She hesitated.

“Is this true?” She asked. She heard the coughing of you, walking closer and seeing your newly feverish state. She noticed the symbol on your arm.

“Cleric…? Your sister is a Cleric?” She asked.

“Yes! Please, we don’t mean harm, we need help!” Tav practically begged.

“…Speak to Isobel upstairs in the Inn. She can help you.” She said. Tav nodded, motioning for Astarion to go. Astarion practically sprinted up the stairs to the room, finding the woman.

Isobel turned around. “who is this?” She asked.

“She’s my friend, please- something is wrong.” He said. She paused noticing the vampiric appearance. Why did a presumably blood thirsty monster care?

“Lay her down, I will see what I can do.” She said motioning to a bed. Astarion obeyed, watching as Isobel hovered her hands over your body as you writhed in your feverish state.

He felt nervous, watching you slowly relax. “She will be fine. As long as she stays here.” Isobel said. “She will be protected by the magic in the field but if she leaves it while the curse still stands, it will prove lethal within days.” She said.

Tav had found his way into the room, looking at you. “…We could use Shadowheart until we fix this.” He said, watching you slowly fall asleep.

“I want to stay.” Astarion said. Karlach looked over.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“You can use whoever, hell use Withers but I am not moving.” Astarion said.

“Alright. Alright I hear you. I feel safer with someone staying with her anyway.” Tav said.

So there he sat by you for days. The goal was for you to fight off the fever so your body could adjust to the corruption. They moved you downstairs next to a man who was constantly singing in his unconscious state. Honestly made Astarion debate on shoving a blade through the man’s neck but thankfully he shut up after Halsin managed wake the bastard up with a lute.

Tav was preparing for a battle on the moonrise towers, finally gaining a lantern (that swore vengeance on him for not releasing the pixie stuck inside it)

You slept soundly in bed. Astarion would rarely move. All came to ahead when he heard a very loud thud and screaming “TO ARMS” from Jaheira.

Astarion stood up, unsure on if he should see what the hell was going on but there stood a winged creature in the doorway. It seemed set on killing anything in its path. Astarion drew his blades, staring at the thing before him.

It pounced like a cat to a mouse, Astarion stabbing it repeatedly. He kept trying to get it to possibly run off at least but it kept scratching, screaming that awful screeching noise. He struck again, when the creature managed to knock him down pouncing on him and drawing its claws out ready to tear out his heart.

That’s when a blade stabbed through its head, killing it instantly. He looked up, seeing you with his dagger that was knocked out of his hand when it pounced. You stood there, shaking as you shoved the creature’s corpse off of Astarion and he took your hand, standing up.

“When did you wake up?” He asked.

“When you started fighting that thing.” You said panting. “Are you okay-“ he gently wiped the blood off of your cheek, ignoring your concerned tone “I-I saw the thing on top of you and I-I thought you were-“

He cupped your cheeks. “I am fine, Little Light.” He said softly. You looked in his eyes, dropping the blade. “You’re shaking.” He noticed.

“My legs haven’t left the bed in days…” you said softly.

“Mm.” He nodded. You couldn’t move. You found yourself enraptured in those crimson eyes. He kissed your forehead and hugged you. “I’m alright. I promise.” He assured. You slowly hugged him back, surprised by the man’s manner. He hadn’t been affectionate before. What changed?

You let out a relieved breath, feeling his hand travel into your hair, gently moving his fingers as if to soothe you. He kept whispering reassurances. “I’m alright, I promise” or “We’re safe. It’s okay.”

You had never felt this amount of safety, especially since the entire separation from your brother and the dark forest. But here you were. Safe in the arms of the one you knew you’d come to love.

You loved him. You knew this would come to happen. When you saw his future, you saw yourself with him. Loving him, with yourself on his arm with a smile that was almost glowing. You pulled back because when you saw his future and he asked for his reading, it was technically the first time you had spoken. You didn’t want to come across as flirting, you didn’t want it to seem like you were almost manifesting that you two would come to love one another. You kept this secret to yourself. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

Sometimes when you gave readings, people would become cross, claiming you took the autonomy of their choices away because you knew the outcomes. They didn’t understand that you had no ability to control what you saw. That that wasn’t your intention. But to many it came across as rude, especially when the readings were negative.

You knew after seeing the visions of Cazador’s evil acts upon him, that he must’ve struggled with feeling like he was never in control. To say that you saw him with you, you felt as though it’d almost seem like you’re forcing yourself onto him. You could never do that to him. Never.

You pulled away looking into his eyes. You also felt that by keeping this to yourself, you were robbing him of his right to know what he asked. “Astarion I-“

The door flew open, Tav standing there panting. His armor was covered in blood, though it was clear it wasn’t his own. “Some flaming fist bastard tried to kidnap Isobel!” He said.

“Did they succeed?” Astarion asked.

“We’d all be dead if they did.” Tav said sheathing his sword. He looked down, seeing the dead creature.

“We saw one of them go down stairs. We thought for sure that you were-“

“Y/n had it handled.” Astarion assured. Tav nods, noticing Astarion’s hands on your waist. He rose a brow, looking at the hand on his chest.

“…Did I interrupt something?” He asked.

“Aha! Uh- n-no—“

“Oh yes you did. I was just about to ask your sister for some blood but noooo! Someone had to enter without knocking!” Astarion joked. Even with the with the obvious sexual tension, you started laughing, rolling your eyes.

Gods he loved that sound. It was like music every time he heard your laugh. He smiled, not removing his hands from your waist as he looked down at you. Tav was increasingly suspicious.

“Right. Well. Uhm. We’re going to head off.” Tav said.

“Stay safe.” You said. He nodded before leaving, closing the door behind him. He paused, seeing Karlach.

“Wow, damn. That was crazy.” She breathed, clearly still dealing with the aftermath of the battle.

“Have you noticed anything with Y/n and Astarion?” Tav asked. Karlach looked confused.

“No? Why? Walk in on something?” Karlach asked.

“I don’t know.” Tav muttered.

“Were they like… doing it?” Karlach asked and Tav grimaced with a snort.

“What!? No! No it’s… Astarion had his hands on her waist. And her hands were on his chest.” He explained.

“Well how close were they?” Karlach asked. Tav sighed, pulling Karlach over. Ever since they made the temporary fix with the infernal engine, he had touched her hands quite a bit. This was going to be quite the difference…

He pulled her close, pulling her hand to his chest and put his hands on her waist. “Like this. This close.” He said looking up at the tall tiefling. She paused and once he realized how close they were he made the same expression.

“Well. You definitely must’ve walked in on something!” She said with a nervous laugh. Due to her red tone, it was hard to tell if the woman was blushing. But he did take notice in the glowing pattering of her engine speeding up.

He chuckled nervously back in response nodding. “I figured.” He said.

“Well would it be so bad? Ari is a good man. Wouldn’t hurt her.” Karlach shrugged.

“I just… She’s never showed an interest in men before. Honest. Never any childhood crushes, no secret boyfriends as a teenager. She said romance was dull and didn’t interest her.” He said.

“Maybe something changed.” Karlach said.

“I don’t know… Maybe.” He said. She nodded mindlessly.

“We should go to camp. She can’t leave the inn until the curse is lifted and I have a feeling that even though she’s awake, Ari’s not leaving her side.” Karlach said.

“Good point. Maybe it’s time to put Wyll back out there.” He said walking with Karlach.

You finally separated from Astarion after Tav left, getting back into bed as Harpers carried the creature’s body back.

“Do you want food? You’ve been out for days, maybe it’ll do you some good.” Astarion said.

“Soup..” you muttered. He rose a brow.

“Soup? You want soup?” He asked. You nodded sheepishly, feeling as though it was a dumb request.

“I will get you soup then,” he said softly. You watched him get up, leaving and returning with soup in hand. “It was too warm but I cooled it. And I brought bread, you need something else on your stomach.” He said.

You nodded, slowly eating the foods he got for you. You seemed to relax when you finished your food, laying in the bed.

“Why do you call me ‘Little Light’?” You asked after a moment.

“Ah. Right.” Astarion nodded mindlessly. “There’s a bit of hopelessness going around. Like the world itself is being consumed by darkness. But you, my dear, are a little light in the darkest parts of it. Normally I’d roll my eyes at your heroic nature. But the way you handle yourself compared to Tav? It’s entertaining. It’s nice. You don’t just see black and white, you can see the grays in it too. You know when a situation is tricky and you don’t try to avoid it. You make light where there is one. Hence ‘Little Light’.” He shrugged.

“Well now after hearing all of that it’s only fair that I give you a nickname too.” You said. He chuckled, shrugging. “Hmm. I’m thinking on this.” You pondered. He chuckled, watching you. “I could call you chompers,” you said. He blinked. “cause of the teeth.” You said before biting down loudly making him shake his head with a laugh.

“Call me that and I might be forced to bite you.” He teased. You chuckled thinking.

“Oldie?” You suggested. He rose a brow with an amused look on his face.

“Are you trying to make me suffocate you with your pillow?” He asked making you laugh.

“Middlemist.” You said. He looked confused. “It’s a rare flower. It can withstand many things, some have even seen battles. And they’re red. Like… Like your eyes.” You said. He smiled nodding.

“Much better.” He said.

“And they need a little light to grow.” You added. That made him pause. “Not that you need me or anything-“

“I do.” He said. You stopped, swallowing hard. “I have changed since I have met you. Into what I think is a better man. I’ve grown. I didn’t think I could do that again. But I did.” He said softly. You looked in his eyes. “Can I ask you something?” He asked. You nodded.

“What did I look like in my past? I can’t remember how I looked before I was turned.” He asked. You smiled, looking at him. “You had brown hair that was almost black. Your eyes were a deep green. Just like your mother’s.” You said softly. His mother. Oh how he forgotten that sweet woman. She died when he was young but he could remember her kindness. How far from it he must’ve strayed.

He seemed almost sad by your words. He must’ve been such a disappointment for his mother. For him to become a conniving little bat that really didn’t care about other people as long as he gained something in return.

“She would be proud.” You said. He paused hearing this. “You overcame everything that monster put you through. For that she would be proud of you.” You said. His gaze softened, looking at you.

“I’ve hurt so many people-“

“You did what you had to, to survive.” You said. “You are not a monster.”

He had never heard someone say that. In all of his 200 years of life. Someone gave him the reassurance that he wasn’t a monster.

His lips connected with yours in an instant. You were shocked of course. You froze in place but once you registered what was happening, you relaxed, your hands cupping his cheeks. He pulled away after a moment, it dawning on him who he was kissing.

“Shit. Shit shit shit-“

“Are you alright?” You asked.

“You’re Tav’s sister! I-I shouldn’t have—“

Then it sunk in. Astarion was your brother’s closest friend. Oh gods. Oh Gods.

“Shit.” you muttered. “We shouldn’t do this- We should act like this didn’t happen, right?” You asked.

“…If that is what you want.” He muttered. You saw that expression. Almost hurt. Like what just happened didn’t mean anything. But it did. Gods it did. It meant the world. The stars themselves.

“It isn’t but… I don’t want to hurt Tav when he helped me.” You said. Astarion rose a brow. What did you mean “helped you”? He knew there must’ve been a reason you had been with Karlach and Tav. Maybe you meant the medical attention you received but… Something in your eyes seemed to say otherwise. Whatever your brother did, made you feel as though you owed him. Something less trivial than Tav’s typical heroics.

“What did he do?” Astarion asked. You seemed to halt, closing your mouth. You felt as though if he knew your truth, he might see you as less than. Course that was ridiculous, you two suffered in similar ways. But you didn’t know how to even begin to talk about what was done to you in the “Name of the Absolute”.

You looked down, away from his gaze. What happened before you ended up with them? What exactly went on that made you so tight lipped that you wouldn’t even talk to him?

You hesitated but kept closing your mouth. “Those monsters didn’t just want Isobel.” You muttered. Astarion looked even more confused. What the hell did they want with you.

“The Absolute has been tracking me. Trying to find me, they want me to ensure their victory. The natural abilities I have can be weaponized. But Halsin… I know him, he was my teacher. And he told me that if I used them at full power it’d kill me. Destroy my body. I wouldn’t be able to withstand that much power.” You muttered. Astarion blinked.

“Tav had heard my name mentioned by one of the goblins apparently. They had plans to kidnap me and drag me to the towers. By the time he had found me, so did the Absolute’s lackeys. They tried to maim me just enough so that I could be dragged unconscious.” You said. He couldn’t believe this. Tav didn’t go out to drink that night. He went to actively find you.

“He saved me from that group. I was surprised Tav even wanted me here in the first place all things considered but I think he feels that the safest option is to have me nearby. Astarion you mean so much to me but I can’t betray my brother’s trust. Not like this.” You muttered. Astarion felt so many things at once. Sadness. Anger for the fact that they hurt you so badly you nearly died at camp. But understanding to your emotions.

So you ignored them. The feelings that were bubbling like water in a hot pot they were just there. You two tried to ignore it. Over the next two days, Tav returned with a lantern, clipping it to your side.

“LET ME OUUUUTT!”

“Tav why is your lantern screaming at me?” You asked.

“It’s a pissed off pixie.” He said.

“I WILL END YOU ASSHOLE!”

“She sounds beyond pissed.” You said staring at the pixie inside. She was clearly fuming. “It’s like a pissed off pet.” You snorted. Astarion chuckled, finding it funny.

“PET!? I AM NOT A PET! FUCK YOU!”

“I wonder if I can give it something to make it chill out.” You said looking into the lantern.

“Dunno. She’s mad though.” Tav shrugged.

“Thanks but why this?” You asked.

“Isobel said that the reason you’re unable to handle the lands was because mere torchlight wasn’t enough. This should be the best thing.” He said.

“Tav, we both know I can’t go into those towers.” You warned.

“I know. But at least this way, you can travel around without fear of death.” He said. You nodded.

“Thanks.” You said.

“Of course.” He nodded.

So you started joining everyone back at camp. Tav noticed a newfound sadness in Astarion. Staring of longing for you. But he wouldn’t go near you. Tav finally decided to start asking questions.

“Hey, Ari. Can I ask you something?” Tav asked.

“What’s on your mind?” Astarion asked, clearing his throat.

“I’ve noticed something. Between you and Y/n.” He said. Astarion tensed up.

“Wh..what do you mean?” He asked.

“I mean you seem to really like her.” He said.

“Well… Uh… I-I… I don’t want to disrespect you Tav.” He coughed out.

“Do you intend on hurting her?” Tav asked.

“No! Never.” Astarion said quickly.

“Do you intend on drinking her blood and leaving her to die?” He asked.

“No- Gods no Tav!” Astarion said.

“Do you love her?” Tav asked. Astarion paused. He froze. He watched you laughing with Karlach, smiling as you sat next to her.

“…How could I not.” He said.

“Then how is you falling in love disrespectful?” Tav asked. Astarion looked at Tav surprised. He approved? He wanted this?

“You wouldn’t hate me?” Astarion asked.

“No- Gods no. Astarion, Y/n doesn’t like people easily. I’ve never seen her take interest in someone. Ever. But she likes you. And if you like her too, you need to say something. Especially if this whole battle plan Jaheira has goes south.” He said.

Astarion’s gaze went back to you. “Talk to her. Tell her it’s okay with me.” He said. Astarion nodded getting up.

You stood up, walking over to your tent when you noticed Astarion behind you. You jumped. “Gods! You scared me.” You gasped.

“Oh! Sorry I-“

“No-no it’s okay!” You said.

“I wanted to talk to you.” He said.

“Oh… erm… About what?” You asked.

“Tav spoke to me.” He said. You blinked.

“About what?” You asked.

“You. And me. Us.” He said.

“…Oh.” You breathed. He felt already that he might’ve misread everything. Maybe the kiss was something that you didn’t like and you were using Tav as an excuse as to not hurt his feelings. Maybe you didn’t like him at all, maybe he read too much into this. “what did he say?” You asked.

“That… He doesn’t want to be what sets us back. That if we feel… strongly for one another we should pursue it.” He said.

You looked relieved. You didn’t hesitate, you just hugged him. “Thank the gods.” You muttered into his chest. Relief hit him instantly as he hugged you back. You felt safe again in those arms.

He kissed your head and you looked in his eyes as you pulled away slightly. “Stay with me tonight? Please?” You asked quietly. He smiled gently.

“Of course my dear.” He said, kissing your nose.

That night, he stepped into your tent, pausing as he saw your back. It was like his almost. Not infernal writings but something different. Writings of preachings of Shar. Which was odd. Because he knew you didn’t hold high opinions of Shar. You turned, jumping.

“Gods! I need to put a bell on you or something, you scared me!” You said. He shook himself out of the focus of the preachings on your back. You turned back, your shirt clutched in your fingers. “I suppose you’re wondering why Shar’s preaches are on my back?” You asked.

“…You don’t have to indulge my curiosity.” He said gently.

“I was kidnapped years ago when I was a child. Tav and I were playing in our village, I lost my ball and I went to grab it. I was known as the druid magic girl. So one of Shar’s followers grabbed me. Branded me with Shar’s words against my will to remind me that Shar would be superior.” You said.

He stopped, staring with wide eyes. He couldn’t believe that someone would brand someone like that because of their beliefs, much less a child. “It’s why I bathe alone. Last time I was with the girls, Shadowheart kept making remarks about it.” You muttered. He frowned.

“Shadowheart will have my fangs in her neck if she opens her mouth about it again.” He said. You sighed.

“You shouldn’t turn against her just because I have a problem with it.” You said.

“I would do it anyways. The girl is far too chatty.” He shrugged making you chuckle.

“I feel… hideous sometimes. With these scars. I hate them. It’s like I become painfully aware of my skin.” You muttered. Gods they really were two sides of the same coin.

He walked over, gently wrapping his arms around you from behind. He kissed the back of your neck. “I know how you feel.” He said softly. You dropped your shirt after a couple of seconds slowly turned in his arms.

“Cazador branded me. Though I don’t have a mirror. Don’t know what exactly is written.” He said. You looked at him sympathetically. You never wanted anyone to know that kind of pain. But there was someone who did. You rested your forehead on his.

“We truly are fucked up individuals, aren’t we?” You muttered.

“Indeed my dear. Pained by others.” He muttered.

You held his cheek, kissing him. “No harm will come to you as long as I am near.” You assured. He chuckled.

“I should be saying this to you.” He said. You felt a familiar tinge of pain, wincing and gripping your head.

A vision. Something in the strings of fate was near. You gripped Astarion’s arm, closing your eyes. What was fate telling you?

You saw yourself, in Astarion’s arms. Dead. With vines everywhere. The shadow curse lifted. You pulled away, panting.

“What happened? Are you alright?” He asked. You frowned looking down. This didn’t make any sense. You were perfectly alive in your first vision with Astarion. Something was going to happen, something so large it changed the strings of fate themselves. You panted, trying to catch your breath.

“Love, are you alright?” He asked again.

“I’m okay. I’m okay. Just a vision.” You breathed. He looked at you concerned. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay,” you said looking in his eyes. He looked confused.

The next morning you woke up in Astarion’s arms. Completely naked of course. Your legs felt… well they felt sore. Like your core muscles had been pushed past your typical limit. You were the first to wake up and you took your time to yourself thinking on what the vision meant.

Was it meant to happen? Was it a warning? No, anytime a vision like that occurred spontaneously, it meant it was fate. So what was Astarion’s future if you were dead? How were you going to live out your days if you were destined to die?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the red eyes looking into yours. “Morning, my love.” He said softly.

“Morning my darling.” You said back, kissing his forehead.

“You’re thinking. I can tell.” He said.

“I am.” You nodded mindlessly.

“About? Do indulge me.”

“… How much longer do you think we have before Tav attacks the towers?” You asked.

“I’m uncertain. He hasn’t had me with him that much, he wants me to look after you.” He said.

You nodded again. “I have questions for him… I’ll be right back.” You said getting up. Astarion seemed confused. Last night you seemed like this too. I mean, not entirely, eventually your focus went to him. A lot. Which surprised him. He had no idea a tongue could even do that but that was beside the point. Something had claimed your attention this morning, judging by the look in your eyes it was serious.

You got dressed, walking out of your tent. “Tav, I need to talk to you.” You said.

“Well you sound serious- wow you’re shaking.” He noticed your legs wobbling a bit. Damn it Astarion. Damn it.

“Aha. Well…. that’s not… important.” You coughed out.

“Uh huh. Sure. What’s going on?” He asked.

You looked back at your tent. You looked around the camp. “Not… not here.” You said. You grabbed your lantern next to the back. “Come.”

Tav followed you away from the camp, wondering what had you so serious. “When do you think you’re attacking Moonrise?” You asked. He paused.

“What?” He asked.

“Moonrise. When do you plan on attacking?” You asked.

“…I just got the Nightsong. So probably soon.” He said.

“I need to be there.” You said. He rose a brow.

“You want to be there or you had a vision where you are there and I need to take you before I piss off a nature god?” He asked.

“The second one.” You said.

“You had a vision,” he said.

“Yeah.” You nodded.

“Gonna tell me what it was?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because if I do, you will try to stop me.” You said. He frowned.

“Y/n, what did you see?” He asked.

“I will not tell you.”

“What did you see?” He asked again.

“Tav-”

“Y/n. What. Did. You. See?” he asked.

“I died. I was dead. But you succeeded. The only way this succeeds is if I-”

“No.”

“Tav. We both know what happens when you try to change fate.” You said. He sighed running a hand over his face.

“…Okay. Okay. You seem serious about this. I’ll respect it. Does Astarion know?” He asked.

“No.” You said.

“You haven’t told him?” He asked.

“No. Please don’t say anything. I… I don’t want him to try to stop it,” you said. Tav sighed. But he nodded.

You didn’t realize Tav planned on leaving for the towers soon. Or that he’d do it without you. He couldn’t lose you. Not like that. Not in a place like the dark forest. He already almost lost you twice. Three times if you include the massive event that happened when you were kids that got his clan killed because he tried to change fate. He did. But at the cost of everyone else. The two of you promised to never try that again. But Tav was too stubborn for his own good.

The next week, it was decided. Gale, Astarion and Karlach would go with him. You, Lae’zel, Shadowheart and Halsin would stay behind. You were gathering water into a bucket when you realized they left.

“Where’d Tav go?” You asked Shadowheart.

“Dunno. Said he had things to handle before the towers.” She shrugged reading a book.

You shrugged it off but then realized Astarion was gone. Whatever your brother was doing wasn’t small. He took Astarion with him when he had to hide. You noticed the heavier armor Tav wore before handling large fights was gone. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

“Tav, I thought you told Y/n that she’d be here for this.” Karlach said walking next to Tav.

“I lied. I can’t…” even if he did go back on one promise, he couldn’t let the other one go. That’d be hurting you twice over. “The lands make her weaker. I just felt like she’d be better off at camp.” Tav shrugged.

Astarion knew when Tav was lying. There was another reason you weren’t here. But for whatever reason, he wasn’t saying it.

“Gale, do your powers feel okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I’m alright for now,” Gale shrugged.

“Good. Want you feeling alright for this.” Tav nodded. Astarion sighed. This was going to be a long fight, he could feel it.

Sure enough it was. He fought through hoards of angry and pissed off creatures. He pushed through though, thanks to Tav’s insistence that Gale learn a healing spell or two a while back. Then came Ketheric. Who was pissed by Tav’s interference with the Nightsong.

He stood face to face with Tav, glaring at the man with contempt. Tav hoped that if he died instead of you, the fates would be satisfied. They wouldn’t need your life any longer. But that isn’t the way fate works.

Long were the waves of battle that Ketheric threw at them. Each one knocked everyone down. The first wave, took out Gale. The second was Karlach. Astarion was knocked to his knees as Tav bared his teeth at the bastard with his sword in hand with enemy blood on his face.

“You will die, little boy. You will die a heretic. A non believer in the Absolute.” Ketheric said.

“I will die knowing you died with me.” Tav growled back.

Astarion gripped his dagger, coughing from being winded.

Then he noticed. The moss slowly growing up from the stones. The small little blooms that were rising from the cracks of the ground.

He heard something. Your voice. And suddenly it was like he breathed in fresh air. Everyone felt better within an instant. Karlach slowly got up, gripping her war hammer as Gale used his staff to rise.

“Lay a hand on my brother and I cut you where you stand, Ketheric.” Your voice said. Everyone turned to you standing behind them all. You looked different. Your eyes were glowing green, your bird tattoos on your cheek were glowing white. You looked as though a celestial being had touched you.

You stepped forward Tav showing a new kind of fear in his eyes. Astarion had never seen Tav this scared. Not even as he was facing Ketheric did he seem scared. But right now, this man seemed terrified.

“No! Y/n-“ you flicked your wrist, ensnaring Tav. You couldn’t let him stop you. Tav struggled in your vines as you stepped forward with an incredibly calm look.

“You have turned this land. Corrupted it. Eilistraee is unhappy with you. I am unhappy with you.” You said walking. Karlach looked at Astarion with a surprised look, almost questioning if they were seeing the same thing.

Y/n, their sweet chaotic little cleric was walking towards a man that nearly killed them mere seconds ago as if he was a child about to be scolded. But something was different.

“Do you know what happens when the balance of nature is disturbed?” You asked, picking up a dead foot soldier’s sword from the ground. “it does anything it wants” You walked, dragging the sword across the stone of the tower. “For as long as it takes” your eyes glowed brighter. “To set the scales back.”

“Was this supposed to scare me, child?” Ketheric spat. You gave the most unsettling smile anyone in the group had ever seen.

“Oh no, Ketheric.” You said.

“And you expect to just stab me?” He scoffed.

“Oh you’re once again wrong, Ketheric. This is your grave marker.” You said, slamming the sword into the ground. “My words aren’t meant to scare you.” You said.

“Mine are.” It was if you were speaking. But it wasn’t your voice. This was different entirely. Tav struggled harder.

“You wanted her powers? Fine. Here they are.”

Within an instant vines erupted through the ground, the glow of your eyes becoming brighter as you began floating.

“Y/N NO!” Tav screamed. This was what Ketheric wanted you for. This is what he wanted to use. Astarion’s eyes widened as it seemed like wings made of pure light formed behind you. With a flick of your wrist, Ketheric was obliterated. But that didn’t end there.

You let out a loud scream, light erupting from your chest blinding everyone for seconds before finally they all heard a thud. Astarion blinked a few times to regain sight. He thought whatever had been going on was still happening until he realized… that was the sun.

He gaped turning to look at you before he realized you were the thud. You had served Eilistraee‘s purpose. Now, you were dead. Astarion dropped his daggers sprinting over as Tav, Gale and Karlach all did the same.

“No no no no, Y/n- darling don’t do this to me don’t you fucking do this to me!” Astarion said frantically shaking you.

Nothing. Not a stir.

Tears flooded his eyes, him holding your body close. “Y/n wake up. Please fucking wake up.” He begged. Cold. You were so cold.

Tav looked at Gale “Isn’t there something you can do!?” He asked.

“I-I can’t— when someone takes this much power from a god it-it destroys the vessel— I’ve never even witnessed a god possess a human like this!” Gale said.

“Withers c-can bring her back right!?” Tav asked.

“Her soul had to be what costed all of this…” Gale said.

“Damn it Gale! Can’t you do anything useful!?” Tav snapped.

“Tav I don’t think there’s anything we can do-“

“Unless you have something useful to say, shut up!” Tav snapped.

“Stop snapping at him like he’s nothing!” Karlach defended

“I don’t see you trying to help—“

“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” Astarion yelled. Everyone turned. “Would one of you assholes just fucking help me bury her so she can rest, or do you all plan on being heartless fucks just screaming at each other when you know damn well that she wouldn’t want this!?” Astarion asked. Silence. Haunting silence.

Tav looked down at his baby sister in Astarion’s arms, cold and lifeless. She truly was gone. He collapsed to his knees in front of Astarion in tears, gripping the moss that was now growing. Karlach slowly kneeled, holding Tav as he cried. Gale bowed his head as Astarion pressed a kiss to your cold forehead, gently laying you on the ground.

Then Gale noticed it. The moss was still growing. At rapid speed. Like nature was claiming it fast. Only druid magic could do that. He didn’t want to build hope but Halsin was at camp. And the only other Druid was you.

He felt it. A surge of life.

Astarion wiped his eyes, when he heard metal clinking of armor. He looked up to see your body levitating slowly.

“Balance is restored through my vessel, her heart pure. May it be a use in destroying the Absolute.” A voice said. Everyone was confused as a pink speck of light hit your body. Then a blue one. Then a green one. Then yellow. Honestly it was beginning to look like a glitter bomb exploded onto your body before it glowed brightly

Your body dropped, Astarion catching you. Your eyes were still closed. You still seemed very dead. So what the fuck was that?

Then you gasped for air, coughing. Tav let out a relieved breath as you looked around.

“Did it work!? Is Ketheric dead!?” You asked. Astarion wasted no second in kissing you the moment you spoke.

“Okay that’s nice and all but is he dead!?” Yeah. You were definitely back.

“He’s gone.” Astarion said. Tav hugged you as he set you down.

“You fucking idiot! You died!” He said hugging you tightly.

“Well with the grip you have right now I might die again.” You wheezed. Tav let go wiping his eyes.

“Gave us quite the scare there, fire cracker.” Karlach chuckled.

“I still have no idea how you’re alive. I mean Eilistraee herself was in your body using the entirety of your magic, that should’ve killed you.” Gale gaped.

“I suppose she saw more use for me.” You said.

“I’m not complaining.” Astarion said, gently caressing your hair.

“Neither am I.” Tav said relieved.

“Remind me never to piss you off.” Karlach said making you laugh.

“No, you were pretty terrifying out there actually. I’ve never seen anyone just waltz up to anyone and fucking use a celestial blast like it was a normal Tuesday before.” Gale said.

“Well, Eilistraee doesn’t take kindly to people interfering with nature.” You shrugged.

“That’s an understatement of the century.” Karlach chuckled.

You slowly stood up, Astarion gently helping you rise as you leaned on him.

“Let’s go back to camp.” You said. Everyone nodded.

“Let’s have a fucking celebration. You deserve it.” Tav nods. You smiled slightly was Astarion pulled your arm over his neck to help you walk. You all towards the stairs but you stopped, Astarion looked over with a confused glance. He followed your eyes to the remains of Ketheric with the embedded sword at his feet. Astarion looked down at you as your gaze changed to the sunset.

“We wouldn’t have won without you, you know.” He said gently. You said nothing, looking into his eyes. “But if you scare me like that again, I might actually die.” He said making you chuckle before kissing him.

“I’m being serious, don’t do that again.” He said. You slipped your arm off of him.

“No promises.” You shrugged walking.

“Wha- no that’s not a good enough answer little light- get back here!” He groaned. You kept walking and he grinned, scooping you into his arms.

“Oh get a fucking room!” Tav groaned.

“Yeah? Maybe you and Karlach can finally get a room too!” You teased.

“Hey!”

“I mean it’s not a bad idea Tav.” Karlach said.

“See even she’s- wait what?!” Tav said making everyone laugh.

#astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion x oc #astarion x female reader

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 11 months

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So uh... i did not expect into the fire to blow up.

So... ahem.

If you'd like to be on a taglist for it, comment below on this post.

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 11 months

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Into the fire- Chapter one (Kaz x fem!reader)

"I win again."

"Son of a bitch."

"I want another go around."

"Jesper, if you go again, you'll be leaving in your birthday suit, and that is an image we can all live without."

You laughed at Inej who was seated at the table in the Crow Club you all frequently visited. Inej didn't seem fond of the idea of you joining at first. Then, after a week she seemed pretty alright with the idea. You were clean, you were kind, if she asked you to do something, you'd do it. You now even shared a room. Both of you were insomniacs with your own shitshows of trauma. After a late night of warm milk and a discussion, the friendship formed.

Jesper though, seemed friendly from the start. He had a project in mind. The "out" list, he called it. What were things that you wanted to do that you couldn't do because of your prison time or home situation? He wanted you to write it down and he'd try to help make it happen. You had this strange security of this group. They helped mend the pieces Hellgate broke and made them new.

You sat cross legged in a chair beside him watching the rain. Jesper looked at you with a grin. "Aye. That bit, line three." He said. You looked over.

"What?"

"Dance in the rain." He said.

"Oh that's ridiculous." Inej laughed.

"Still. Haven't you ever felt like... free enough to do it. Like just....dance?" You asked. She shook her head and you perked up, along with Jesper. "What?" Inej asked. Jesper got up, taking your hand.

"Come onnn!" You said to her. She shook her head.

"I'll have fun without my cold, thank you." She said.

"Party pooper" Jesper said, running outside with you.

Kaz stepped out of his office, papers in hand as he prepared to walk outside. He looked up though when he heard muffled laughing. Inej shook her head with a smile as her and Kaz watched you play in the rain with Jesper. "What is she doing?" Kaz asked.

"She's enjoying her time being free." Inej said, watching you. Jesper picked you up in a hug, spinning you around as you laughed.

Kaz couldn't explain it. That smile, that radiant laugh. He had only known you two weeks and he seemed to enjoy the fact that you seemingly fit right into the Dregs. Hell, even stone cold Xander at the bar enjoyed your presence. You had this way of making people naturally fall in love with you, whether it be platonic or romantic.

You took Jesper's hat, giggling as he pretended to fall at your feet. The rain was your favorite, even in the Hellgate. It helped tell you a passage of time, it also masked that smell of death the nearby island caused. Now that you were out, you loved the rain even more. That feeling of it on your skin, the freedom to walk in it, actually walk without being on a chained leash. You weren't held by those chains anymore.

Kaz cleared his throat, Inej biting back an urge to smile. She knew Kaz, as much as he didn't want to admit it, was definitely falling for you, just like everyone else. If anything it was worse because it definitely wasn't platonic and it didn't just end with a sexual desire. If he had you, he wanted all of you. Not just your body but your heart and soul. He wanted to know you beyond what he had seen already, and Inej knew that.

"You could join them, you know." Inej said.

"And catch a cold?" He asked sarcastically.

"I don't believe that's stopping them." She said.

"What are they even doing out there?" Kaz asked. "Well, they're dancing." She said.

"Yes, I see that they're dancing Inej, why are they dancing?" He asked.

"Jesper and her have some sort of list and they're checking off one of the things on the list." She said.

"What, like a shopping list?" Kaz asked.

"No like a bucket list." Inej corrected.

"A what?"

"Saints Kaz- a bucket list. A list of things you want to do before you die." He looked at her confused.

"Is she dying?"

"No, she just has a list of things she wants to do now that she's free. I said it was like a bucket list, not actually a bucket list." Inej said with a sigh.

Inej reached over into your bag, handing him a folded piece of paper. He read it. You had at least eighty things on that list. They were things Kaz didn't even think anyone would actually desire. "See the stars in the country, lay in a field of flowers. These are all so... trivial." He said.

"Yeah but as someone who didn't have that freedom to make it trivial, it means the world to her." Inej said. Kaz looked at the list again and rose a brow.

"She doesn't know how to swim." He said.

"Hmm?" She asked. He showed her a bullet point.

"Learn to swim." Inej shrugged. Kaz noticed one bullet point that caught his eye. "Kiss someone I love" was written below learning to swim.

"Y'know, if you want to get to know her better, you could actually talk to her." Inej said. Kaz frowned.

"I don't want to get to know her." He said.

"Right, so you're just contently watching her and Jesper because you're not intrigued by her personality." She said, looking at him. He opened his mouth but closed it, looking at her with a glare. "I'm just saying, if you want to know her, you can spend time with her." Inej said. Kaz rolled his eyes.

"We have a job we need to discuss." He said. Inej sighed, grabbing her coat. The two walked out and Kaz looked at you and Jesper.

"You're going to catch a cold " Kaz said.

"Oh but a fun one, isn't that right Y/n?" Jesper asked. You let out a laugh, one that nearly made him weak in the knees.

"We have a job in the morning. Y/n, be in the Slat office." He said.

"Just me?" You asked. Inej looked over at him, biting back a smirk.

"Just you." He nodded.

You gave a small salute with a grin. "You got it" You said before Jesper scooped you up. You giggled and Kaz cleared his throat to bite back that smile that was forming.

"Have fun with your pneumonia." He said sarcastically.

"We will" Jesper laughed.

The next morning you made for his office, standing at his desk. "I'm surprised you don't have a cold." Kaz said, not looking up from papers.

"Jesper does. I'm used to the cold and damp weather." You shrugged. He nodded. "So, am I going alone?" You asked.

"No." He said. "Oh. I figured it was just me here-"

"I'm going with you." He said. You rose a brow.

"What?" You asked.

"Jesper has seen how you work, Inej has seen how you work, yet I haven't seen it." He said. You shrugged.

"Alright, where are we going?" You asked.

"Financial district." He said. You nodded.

"Alright, lead the way." You said. He got up, walking out with you. The rain from yesterday had stopped, the sun barely peaking out from behind the clouds. You seemed to take note of the rain drops that were still dripping off of awnings. You had a smile on your face, looking at the crows that sat on the edges of the buildings.

"Inej tells me you have a list." He said.

"The whole thing was Jesper's idea." You said.

"It sounds like something he'd come up with." He said. You nodded.

"I love the list though. It makes me live life to the fullest." You said, Kaz looking at you with a brow raised.

"What things are on the list, exactly?" He asked, as if he didn't read the damn thing in full.

"Eh. Simple stuff. Dance in the rain, lay in a field of flowers. Cheesy stuff like that." You shrugged.

"Mm. Sounds... time consuming." He said.

"Well yeah but it's worth it." You said.

"If you say so." He said, walking.

"So what is this job exactly?" You asked.

"Do you know who an Alvia Warner is?" He asked. You shook your head.

"Very wealthy." He said. You nodded, smelling the faint scent of coffee.

"Y'know... it occurs to me that I work for you but I don't know anything about you." You said. He looked over.

"You can ask me things, I might not answer." He said simply.

"Do you like coffee?" You asked.

"Yes." He answered.

"Do you read?" You asked.

"On occasion."

"Hobbies?" You asked.

"None."

"Surely you've got at least one."

"I make my enemies terrified to sleep at night." He answered.

"Alright then." You said.

"If we're being open, what about you?" He asked.

"What about me?" You asked.

"Where are you from?" He asked. You showed a visible discomfort.

"Djerholm" you answered. Kaz stopped and you turned.

"You are nobility?" He asked, staring at you with a slight sense of betrayal.

"No. My family is nobility, I am disowned. I'm just me." You said.

"Why were you disowned?" Kaz asked.

"I didn't wish to wed a man." You said walking again. Kaz followed you.

"I was forced into an arranged marriage where I would've been the subject of a very cruel hearted man. I would've been forced to bare his children, I would've been beaten regularly by him, I would've most likely died by his hand. So I had a choice. Stay there and die, or leave and fight." You said. Kaz found that to be a respectable answer.

"What makes you so sure that you would've died?" Kaz asked.

"Because a girl married him six months after I left. She was found dead with a letter opener in her throat." You said.

Kaz was shocked by this answer.

"Do Inej and Jesper know?" He asked.

"Of course they do. We live in the same complex and I share a room with Inej. Plus, my mannerisms don't exactly scream Ketterdam." You said. So Kaz was the only one unaware of your background. Maybe Inej was right, maybe he did need to actually be around you more.

"Why the sudden curiosity about me?" You asked.

"I gave you food, a bed, a job and yet I have no idea who you are. You should know, I do not like not knowing things that are crucial, so if you have anything else in your bag like another bloodthirsty sister, I'd appreciate it if you told me." He said.

"I have only one other sister and she wouldn't hurt a fly. Eloise is married, with two children. She married a good man. She used to write to me before... Hellgate." You explained.

"Mm. So I must ask. What made Pekka notice you?" Kaz asked. You sighed.

"You pick enough locks, people notice. You charm enough people, their tongues will wag your name eventually in conversation. I wasn't exactly offered a position, my sister found me because of my name being brought up. So she decided to fight dirty. She offered me up to Pekka. She tried to sell me to him." You said. Kaz felt disgusted by this statement. "When I managed to escape him multiple times, they got crafty. Cornered me, framed me and then put me in prison." You said.

"In Pekka's prison." Kaz muttered.

"Exactly. It gave him that control he wanted." You said.

"May I ask a question?" You asked. There it was. Now that it was pointed out, Kaz noticed your polite demeanor.

"Fine."

"How did you manage to break me out without someone looking for me afterwards?" You asked.

"Simple. We found a corspe that looked like you and put it on the rocks." Kaz said.

"But you hadn't met me yet, how did you know-"

"Dahlia showed us a picture." Kaz said.

"Mm." Was all you said.

Kaz noticed that face you made when Dahlia was mentioned. Regret and sadness. "Was Dahlia always like that?" He asked.

"No. Father's cruelty made her that way." You answered.

"Abusive?" Kaz asked.

"He wanted sons. He got three daughters." You said. Kaz grimaced.

"I've never understood the patriarchal bullshit the rich have come up with. Two of my finest crows are women for fuck's sake." Kaz sighed. You laughed, looking at him. He was confused by your reaction.

"Sorry-sorry. For someone who typically keeps his nose out of politics, I find it hilarious that you have such a strong opinion on that." You said. He shrugged.

"I just find it stupid." He said.

"It is stupid." You agreed with a small chuckle

"then we're in agreement, that it's stupid." He said.

When you finally got to the financial district, the afternoon had almost drifted into the evening. You followed Kaz through a small area, leading to a stone wall. He looked at it, clutching his cane. "Warner isn't home, she's at some harbor. Either way, you need to jump the fence and unlock it from the back so I can get in." He said. You nodded. "Now I can try to give you a boost-"

"no need." You said, already backing away from the wall.

You charged full speed at the wall, gaining a good footing before jumping over. You landed next to a sundial, seeing the various gardening tools poking out of a small wood shed nearby. The garden itself was beautiful and had you had the time and were by yourself, you absolutely would've explored more. However, you walked to the back entrance, unlocking it and motioning for Kaz to enter.

He walked with you as you shut the gate, motioning for him to lead the way. He approached a door and you kneeled to the lock. "Does she have any security measures?" You asked.

"None that the casers found." He answered, you nodding as you picked the lock. There was a soft click in a matter of seconds that surprised Kaz. He didn't think that he could even do it that fast.

You walked in, looking around at the home. It was nice, there was no doubt about it. White walls bordered with brown panelings aligned the wall, the sun creeping through the window. You walked. "So we're looking for what exactly?" You asked.

"Documents." He said, walking. You opened a door, revealing a bathroom. You closed it, walking to the foyet. It was a nice home, reminded you almost of the one you grew up in. However your father seemed to take to the color black than the warm red that this home had. This house felt like a home. That place would never be home to you.

You noticed a door, opening it. Or at least tried to open it. It was locked, and you had been doing this long enough to know that locked doors inside a locked house meant something was in that room. Something of value.

You knelt to the lock, picking it. You kept your hand on a dagger just in case something had gone unchecked. It was an empty office, much to your relief. "Kaz" you called. He walked over, nodding.

"This would be where they are." He said walking in. You followed behind, looking at the various shelves.

You saw many classics on the wall, some of which were in different languages. You were rather impressed with the collection. Kaz however, had a frown on his face as he rummaged through the drawers.

"Where the hell is this woman keeping it?" He asked.

"Keeping what?" You asked.

"There is money mixed with the documents. There's nothing here." He said.

"Money mixed with it? What are we looking for? Mortage payments? Taxes?"

"A dowry." He said.

You stared at him. "Kaz, why the hell are we looking for a dowry?" You asked.

"Because, multiple reasons. One, money." He said, still shuffling through the papers.

"And?"

"Two, sabotage." He said. You rose a brow. "Where would you hide a dowry?" He asked. You walked over to the desk, sitting at the chair. "Seriously? Do you need a break right now-"

You noticed a botton under the desk, pressing it and opening a secret compartment. He looked at you. "Sometimes you have to see it from their perspective." You shrugged getting up. Kaz opened the compartment, occasionally looking over his shoulder at you with slight bewilderment.

"Alright. It's here." He said.

"Why sabotage the marriage?" You asked.

"Tax reasons. This marriage goes through, she becomes a high ranked chair. Taxes go up, then it becomes harder to live." He said.

"Didn't take you as a tax evader." You said.

"I'm a criminal of many sorts." He said. You looked and noticed a letter.

You picked it up, reading it. Kaz counted the money to make sure she wasn't too clever, hiding it in several places. Instead it appeared she just stopped at a secret button, much to his relief. You had a frown on your face. "Let's go-"

"Kaz. This marriage is the least of our worries." You said. He looked up. You handed him the letter.

"...Shit."

"I know." You said.

It appears the clever little Alvia was prepared to execute her plan no matter if she married into the vote. Her plan was that if she didn't marry her, she'd have a friend go through with it instead, convincing this Killian fellow to vote for her spot.

You sighed. "What do we do?" You asked.

"It seems that it's a backed up plan. Taking this will do nothing." He said.

"Well it gives you money." You said.

"I can't believe this. How did we not know this?" He asked.

"She might know someone is on this path." You said.

He sighed, running a hand down his face. You had an idea come to mind. "We could sabotage the match." You said.

"Kill one of them?" He asked.

"No. Because if we kill him, that leaves the open seat." You said.

"So kill Alvia." He said.

"That leaves him to find someone else like her to be put in position." You said. Kaz sighed.

"And people wonder why I don't give two shits about politics. Kill them both!" He said.

"Leaves the seat open still and then we're back to square one unless you want a go at the seat." You said.

"I think I'd rather die." He said.

"Exactly. We throw a wrench in the plan." You said.

"How?" He asked.

"We give him another option." You said.

"...I'm still not understanding this." He said.

"You put a different girl in front of him. Look, I know these people, they're easily distracted by pretty shit, especially men. So put a pretty girl like say, me, in front of him and he's too distracted to get married to her. Once the vote of chairs goes through, he hasn't put the money on anyone noteworthy." You said. Kaz stared at you in awe.

"You just came up with this?" He asked.

"Again. Grew up in this. I know how to play the game." You said.

"No kidding." He said. You sighed.

"We need to leave before this woman comes back." You said.

"Agreed. Let's go." He said.

You both headed back, the sun slowly setting as you two walked. Kaz recalled a point on your list. "Hey, follow me for a moment." He said.

"Shortcut?" You asked.

"Something like that." He said. You followed him to a ladder, him tossing his cane up before going up. You were confused but followed him up.

You walked for a little bit before Kaz sat down. "Sit." He said. You obeyed, sitting next to him. The entire time you had been looking at Kaz, trying to figure out what he was doing. You chose to follow his gaze this time, looking at a beautiful sunset.

"Woah" you said surprised.

"I might have taken a look at the list." He admitted. You looked over at him.

"I thought it was time consuming?" You said confused.

"It is. But sometimes it's alright to take a moment to use that time." He said. You smiled slightly, turning back to the view.

"I owe you a lot you know." You said. He looked over.

"Quite a few people do." He said.

"I owe you my life." You said, not taking your eyes off the view.

"I wouldn't go that far-"

"You broke me out of Hellgate. Then when the job went wrong you took me in. You saved my life." You said looking at him.

"Why bring this up?" He asked.

"Because I want you to know that even though we don't know everything about each other, I still will trust you." You said. You sighed. "I don't expect you to trust me. I've heard your faith in others runs very thin. But if you ever need me, you need only to call on me." You said.

Kaz had heard someone pledge their undying loyalty to him before. People tend to be grateful when you give them food when their near the verge of starvation. However, this was the first time he believed in that loyalty. He didn't know how to respond to that. "You're right." He said, looking forward. "I don't trust easily." He said getting up.

Kaz, the entire walk back hadn't said anything else. You didn't know if you upset him or what but it was clear Kaz was in his head. Truth be told he realized what he had wasn't a damn crush at all. This wasn't going to just go away with time like the bit with Inej. He had fallen in love with you and that made him upset.

"Love is vulnerability" he told himself. "Love is a weakness." He hated that feeling. He wanted to yell at you, tell you off and say that you were an annoyance. But everytime he looked at you all he could think was that he could never say that to someone so pure of heart. Which was odd to him because he literally watched you beat a man to death with his cane. However that didn't seem to affect that purity in his mind.

You both entered the crow club, Kaz sighing and sitting at the bar. "Job go well?" Inej asked sitting next to him. You sat with Jesper at a table, slinging your legs over his. "It went... fine." He said. "You got that dowry you wanted, right?" She asked.

"Yes but it seems Alvia has a bigger plan." He said.

"What?"

Kaz explained the situation to Inej, her sighing. "Of fucking course the one job we take with a politician gets messy." She sighed.

"Precisely why I tried to tell Per Haskell to not fucking do it." He sighed.

"It was his idea?" Inej asked.

"Yes! Which I understand why, but I know he's going to go with Y/n's plan which will take up a ton of time!" He said frustrated. She blinked.

"Y/n has a plan?" Inej asked.

So you all sat at a table as you broke down the idea you had in the study. Kaz seemed to agree that the plan would definitely work, the only issue was that something seemed to irk him about it and Jesper could not figure out why. "Well there's just one issue with the plan." Inej said, sitting back.

"Yes?" You asked.

"Say we do it. It works, she's not in the chair, all is well in Ketterdam. What about Killian?" She asked.

"What about Killian?" Kaz asked, looking at her.

"We can't just have her be a distraction and then disappear, it'll be obvious what happened and people will come looking." Inej said.

"Shit." Kaz sighed.

"Well I thought about that actually." You said.

"Look at our girl being all smart over here." Jesper teased. You rolled your eyes but continued.

"A love triangle."

Inej rose a brow.

"What?" Kaz and Jesper asked.

"A love triangle. It's a good way to cut it off. Just have one of the guys do a fake proposal." You shrugged.

"Well we can't just send one in to randomly propose." Inej said. What was Inej doing?

"You'll have to just keep close to one of the guys at social engagements so it appears you're at least familiar with them." Inej said.

Kaz then realized what Inej was doing.

"Hm. That should do the trick to have it not lead back to us." Jesper agreed.

"I know, I'm a genius." You said, satisfied with the plan.

"Well boys, who should do it?" Inej asked, looking directly at Kaz.

"Jesper has the most chemistry with her." Kaz said. You and Jesper both cringed.

"Uhm... Jesper isn't-"

"We're definitely not-"

"No offense but... ew." You said.

"Offense slightly taken! I'm ew!?" Jesper asked. "No not visually! I just mean that it'd be like trying to romance my brother it's..." both you and Jesper shuddered.

"Yeah no, Kaz you're going to have to step up." Jesper agreed. Inej seemed satisfied with her input, a smug smirk on her lips.

"Fine." Kaz sighed.

"Then it's settled." You nodded.

"Yep." Kaz sighed.

"Well then, how about a round?" You asked.

"I can go for one." Jesper said.

"I feel in the spirit to drink as well." Inej said.

"Care to join us boss?" You asked Kaz. He sighed, looking at Inej and then you. He was going to have to spend a lot of time with you regardless. He was apparently now supposed to fake being in love with you. He had to get close to you and he had learned through Inej and Jesper that a good way to form a bond, was through drinking with them after a mission.

"I'll stay for one drink."

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

Text

Into the Fire (Kaz x fem!reader)

Summary: after time in Hellgate, your sister makes a bargain to break you out.

Warnings: A lot of violence, discussions of sickness and serious injury, mentions of suicide and murder

It had all happened so fast. You were blamed for a murder, a murder you didn't even commit, you were the one that happened across that damn body. No doubt the works of Pekka Rollins after you declined the invitation to the Dime Lions. You were a valuable asset, there was no doubt. You were extremely intelligent, knew your way around locks and could charm the most stubborn men. Pekka needed to one up that son of a bitch that was trying to take that title of "King of the Barrel" from him.

Your sister, Dahlia immediately tried forming a plan when she heard from a friend about someone who might take a deal to help her. So she saved up, working beside Nina.

"Good luck trying to convince that good for nothing bastard" she'd tell her. Still, Dahlia had heard enough to know that this Brekker man was simple if you had enough Kruge. Finally she filled up five jars of it, walking into the Slat with hesitance.

"Who's that?" Jesper asked Inej who was sitting next to him.

"No idea." She said confused, watching the girl look around. She turned to the two who were staring.

"Where can one find a mister Brekker?" She asked. Jesper almost let out a laugh. Very rarely had he heard a "Mister" be put in front of Kaz's name.

"Uhm.. I'll uh.. find him." Jesper said getting up. Inej looked at the girl. She was pretty. Too pretty to be standing in a place like this without purpose.

"Kaz. There's uh..." Jesper let out a small laugh. "There's a girl wanting to speak with you out there." Jesper said. Kaz looked up from his desk, holding papers with his gloved hands.

"She say why?" He asked, looking back down.

"No but I'll tell you, she looks out of place." He said. Kaz sighed.

"Ask what she wants. If she's a whore, send her out."

"And if it's something else?"

"Send her here, I suppose."

Jesper walked out, the girl looking up. "Is he here?" She asked.

"What's your business?" He asked.

"I... I need help." She said.

"Are you wanting to join?" Inej asked.

"Join? Join what?" She asked confused. This girl had to be a serious fish out of water.

"You're definitely not from here, are you?" Jesper asked.

"No, look can he see or not?" She huffed.

"If you're from the Menagerie, he's not interested." Jesper said.

"I'm not from the fucking Menagerie!" She said, clearly annoyed.

"Okay... well. Let me see-" "Is that his office?" She asked. "Well-"

She shoved past Jesper, Inej standing up shocked as she walked into Kaz's office. "I need help." She said. Inej ran in.

"Seriously!? What is your problem!?" Inej asked, grabbing her arm.

"Let me go!" She yelled.

"You can't just barge in-"

"I HAVE MONEY!" she yelled.

Kaz looked up finally at the chaos. "Let her go." Kaz said. Inej looked at him with uncertainty but let go after his stern gaze. He motioned to a seat in front of his desk. "Sit." He said. Dahlia sat down, glaring at Inej as she left. Jesper pointed at the door, silently asking if Kaz wanted it closed. He nodded, Jesper closing the door as he went to calm down a pissed off Inej.

"What's this I hear about you needing help?" He asked.

"My sister got framed for murder. She's in that god damn prison, she's been there for almost a year." She said. Kaz rose a brow.

"She's in Hellgate?" He asked.

"Yes." She said. "Have a good day, close the door on your way out." Kaz said, Dahlia frowning.

"Now hold on-"

"Grab a drink if you'd like. Just go." He said. She slammed a jar of money on his desk. He looked up.

"I've got five more of these." She said. He leaned back in his chair.

"How do you know she was framed?" He asked.

"She's not exactly the person to kill a man. Steal his wallet, sure. Murder isn't something she'd be able to do." She said. Kaz sighed.

"Who framed her?" He asked.

"Some gang leader. Uhm... Pekka something." She said. Kaz's blood ran cold.

"What?" He asked.

"She got noticed by him. He made her an offer, she said no and one day on her route back home, she found a body and he had her arrested." She explained. Kaz frowned, staring at the jar of money.

"Five more of these?" He asked.

"Yes." She said. He sighed.

"Fine. But you aren't going with us. You'll wait the Crow Club, do I make myself clear?" He asked. She nodded.

"Thank you." She said relieved.

"Don't thank me yet, I haven't freed your sister yet."

Your eyes had become used to the dark from the prison you had been trapped in. Your hands were bound to the floor by the shackles as the smell of piss and blood hung in the air. You debated every day on just strangling yourself with your chains but you knew Mediks would revive you as quickly as possible.

"Psst" you heard. You lazily looked up to see Quincy, a guard you had charmed into being your friend. He tossed you a piece of bread. You mouthed thank you to him, him nodding quietly as he turned his back to the cell as if he were guarding it. He was the small bit of light in such a bleak place. You heard footsteps of other guards pass.

"What time is it?" You asked in a low whisper.

"Three in the afternoon" he said softly. You leaned your head on the wall, letting out a shuddering breath. In a week, it would have been one year since your capture.

You wondered if Eloise was alive, if she was still at home. You two parted ways when she was eighteen, you leaving for Ketterdam. You recalled her saying something about moving during your trial but you had no clue if she had gone through with it. You missed the fresh air of the outside. The air here was stale, it reeked of death. It didn't help that Hellgate was basically caught in a draft of air where the smells of a nearby island that was inhabited by the dead.

Each breath you took felt heavier and more horrible than the last. When you first arrived, you thought you had been put in the wrong area, however it seemed you were wrong. You were one of the few women housed in this wretched place.

"We're doing WHAT" Jesper asked.

"Unfreakingbelievable." Inej said, putting a hand to her head.

"She's paying." Kaz said.

"And if the bitch paid you to jump off a cliff?!" Jesper asked.

"Eh. Depends on the amount." He shrugged.

"Are we recruiting this girl?" Inej asked.

"It depends." Kaz said.

"Depends how?" Inej asked.

"On if she's worth the trouble." He said. Nina was right. He was very slappable at times.

"So how are we breaking her out? I'm thinking we'll pretend to be nuns and pull her into a convent-"

"Jesper. Serious." Kaz said. Jesper sighed.

"Kaz, this is beyond crazy. This is insane." Jesper said.

"I've figured out a plan. It's insane, sure. But not impossible." He said. Inej sighed.

"Jesper, you'll be our distraction. Inej, you're to sneak in on a freight ship, there's one leaving in eighteen hours. Can you make it?" He asked. "Yes." She said reluctantly.

"Good. Now for the rest of this."

You heard the familiar jingle come from the hall and you sighed as the man you loathed stood before you. "Do you want in today?" He asked, his dark emotionless eyes staring into yours.

"Fuck off Roland." You said.

"Come on now darling, don't be that way. I'm sure those snakes will eat you alive one of these days. Have fun on your damp floor." He said with a chuckle. You shuddered as you heard him walking down the cell block.

Tears of frustration built in your eyes. This felt like an inescapable nightmare. Yes, this could be worse, you could've been in the old tower. You could be friendless. But it didn't stop the fear of being unable to come out of this alive from seeping into your mind. Your once vibrant eyes were now hollow and filled with darkness. You were sick of this life. You were sick of everything.

The fog settled on top of the waters towards the island. It felt ominous as the group rode in the rowboats. Inej was questioning everything at this moment. She was wondering why she went along with such a stupid plan in the first place. She looked at the man who was looking at an island with distant and pained eyes. There was a familiarity in this location, there was no doubt to her.

You heard Quincy move back to the post. "How's your sister?" You asked, knowing you were mostly alone now.

"She's fine. A little worse for the wear but..."

"good." You said softly. This was the most news of the outside you'd hear about.

"Didn't you say you had a sister?" Quincy asked.

"I do, I have two. One is two years younger than me, the other is three years younger. " you said.

"Are they pretty?"

"Trying to get ideas over there Quince?" You teased making him chuckle.

"Hardly. I'm more of a fan of older women thank you." He said. You gasped dramatically.

"Hunting cougars are you?" You teased making him fight an urge to laugh.

You heard a door slam and you closed your mouth, Quincy straightening up. "Quincy." A man yelled.

"Sir." He said.

"Your under arrest-"

"What?" He said confused.

"For conspiring with a prisoner-" your heart dropped.

"Sir-"

"You and Miss Y/n have been conspiring for nearly the whole time she's been in here-"

"He's innocent!" You argued.

"Shut up." The man snarled.

"You'll have time to argue in the old tower." A voice said. No. No. No no no.

"NO!" You screamed. "HE'S INNOCENT- PLEASE!" You screamed as the door opened and guards came to retrieve you. You thrashed against the guards as Roland smirked against a wall. You locked eyes with him. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" you screamed. Quincy was cuffed and you panicked. "I'LL DO IT!" You screamed.

Roland leaned off the wall. "You will?" He asked, satisfied that it was so easy to break you.

"Yes! Just let him GO!" you said. Roland looked in your eyes.

"Fine." He said. "You heard the girl. Uncuff him." He said. They obeyed, uncuffing Quincy. "Return to your post boy. Be thankful we didn't take your fucking head." He said. You watched him leave, looking over his shoulder clearly concerned for you. You were yanked forward, released from the floor but now dragged through the halls.

You followed the guards, hearing prisoner's screams through the prison. You hated Roland at this moment. You hated Pekka more. He was the whole reason you were in here. You knew he did this. He did this to put you in the Hellshow... Oh he'd get a show.

Kaz stepped out of the boat, face covered by a mask. Inej was horrified the first time she caught wind of such a place. To set foot in it was even worse. "Do not stray from the guide until you have my say so." Kaz said. Inej nodded. She knew the rules. If she strayed too early, she'd be found out and killed. Or worse, locked up in Hellgate.

The group followed the guides which happened across your cell block. Kaz was frowning under his mask once he realized you had been moved. There was only one reason you wouldn't be in there. The reason was also the purpose of having a guide for such a terrible place. The group had been seated in a coloseum like structure. Inej hated this plan more than any other plan that Kaz had formed before. Not only did she have to be in the most awful place but she had to watch this.

The crowds cheered as the announcer pumped up the crowds. "We are proud to announce that the got some new meat today." Kaz frowned. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. You were pulled into the ring, Inej glancing at Kaz. She could tell even under a smask that he was frustrated. "SPIN THE WHEEEELL!" the announcer screamed making the crowd roar. You did, spinning it as you fired an angry look at a man in the stands. If looks could kill, this competition wouldn't have been an issue for you.

The wheel landed on a dog and you were unshackled after the announcer was lifted, as to avoid being killed by you. Kaz sighed. At least this would be a way to figure out if you were useful or not. He knew you had to be somewhat resourceful seeing as Kaz got intel from one of the guards who claimed you as a friend. Kaz thought it impossible to find friends in such a low place but you made him stand corrected.

You picked up a blade from the sand swallowing hard as you focused on the wolves emerging from the mouth. You counted three as the mouth closed. You swallowed hard, slowly raising the blade. You hadn't wielded one in years.

Kaz noticed your footing. This was not the first time you used a blade. Kaz saw the various scratches and bruises on you, letting him know that you could take a hit before going down.

A wolf challeneged you, you ducking as it leapt for your throat and slicing its underbelly. You shuddered at that feeling as it hit the ground. Two more to go. You decided to make the next move before the wolves, using the wall to push off for a faster trajectory as you slammed the blade into one's jaw. "One more." Kaz thought. "You have just one more."

You backed up, your ankle hitting your shackles making you stumble. The wolf chose then to attack. You had to react and you had to react quickly. You kicked up the heavy shackle, winding the wolf as it hit its belly. You slammed your blade down, through its head.

The crowd roared for your victory as wolves' blood stained your face. Inej glanced at Kaz, unsure of what to do. They sat through numerous matches until the groups were escorted back. "What now?" She whispered. "We'll have to change course, she won't be in the same cell." Kaz said. So they slipped out, proceeding down a hall.

You were shoved into a new cell, Roland wearing a grin that said he got exactly what he wanted. You glared at him. "Come now, don't be like that! You've got a new cell." He said as the guards shackled you back to the floor. You saw Quincy behind him.

"You called for me sir?" He said.

"Ah. Right. The boy." Roland said looking at him. You saw the glint of silver that was his knife and frowned.

"Quincy, you're in danger-" a guard slapped you.

"Shut your mouth, girl." He said. Quincy looked at you confused before Roland's blade stabbed him. You let out a scream of horror and anguish.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Kaz heard in the hall.

"Follow that voice." He said.

"How do you know that's her?" Inej asked.

"She's the only female in this block." He stated before walking through the halls.

"State your business." A guard said.

"Oh I had an inquiry." He said.

"Which is?"

"Your mother and whether or not she's aware she's raised a bastard." Kaz replied, mouthing "shut eye." To Inej. She rolled her eyes, knocking the guard out.

"A simple, where's the loo would've worked!" She said. Kaz shrugged it off, slipping past the unconscious man.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" You screamed, angry tears falling from your eyes.

"I'm sure we will. Enjoy your stay in your new cell!" Roland said. You let out a frustrated scream as Roland walked away, yanking your chains as far as they could go. You sobbed, looking at Quincy who was struggling on the ground.

"Quincy- I am-am so sorry" you cried.

"An-any moment now." He breathed. You were confused looking at him. "Ther-there are p-people here for you" he said.

"Exec-executioners?" You asked. By this point, the headman's axe was a mercy.

"R-rescuers." He said.

"Quincy-Quincy what have you done?" You asked. You heard a struggle out in the hall. Quincy looked relieved.

"Be-be free." He said.

"Quincy- QUINCY!" you screamed as the shallow rise and falls of his chest stopped. A masked figure came out with someone else.

"We've got a few seconds before the third bell." The figure said, unlocking the door. You moved away from them confused.

"We're here to bring you home." There was a woman in this group.

"Home?" You were beyond confused by this.

"Get her unlocked Kaz, we don't have much time." The girl said. The masked man, presumed now to be Kaz was unlocking your shackles. You heard a loud boom and looked confused as you heard multiple guards sprinting through.

"We have to go. Now." He said, pulling you up. You winced and he frowned. "Shit. She's injured." He realized.

"Thank that bastard Roland." You muttered, numbed tears falling from your eyes.

"Where's Quincy?" The girl asked.

"He's the body behind you." You said, looking at him. "Shit. SHIT." Inej hissed.

"We don't have time, we need to leave." Kaz urged.

You were practically dragged through the halls of the prison by these people, who honestly, you had to trust because literally anything could be better than this hellhole. You made way for an exit before Roland blocked you.

"Thought you were leavin' aye?" He said, that cocky smile filling you with rage. You gritted your teeth, snatching the cane from the masked stranger. He almost scolded you but everything happened so fast. You had not only managed to kill Roland, you had taken the lion's head and bashed in the skull of the man.

You finally stood up. "Incapable of murder" your sister said. "She doesn't have it in her" she said. Otherwise your sister had drastically underestimated you or this place drove you to that point. Considering the Hellgate was infamous for its conditions, Kaz guessed the second option as you handed him back the cane.

"I've wanted to do that for months." You said, stepping over his corpse. Kaz wiped off his cane, swapping a look with Inej.

You and the two others walked outside, a man waiting by a boat. "Let's go, we've got five minutes before they realize she escaped. " he said. Kaz motioned for you to climb aboard first. You did, Inej handing you a cloak as Kaz got into the boat. Inej untied it as another man dashed over and jumped in.

"Saints Jesper! You're going to flip us!" Inej gasped.

"No, it's fine- now paddle like your fucking life depend on it because it does!" Jesper yelled.

And so Inej rowed, after a good distance, Kaz removed his mask as did Inej. You looked the face of Kaz, looking in his eyes. You could see that behind a hardened persona laid a boy who still had a glint of humanity in him. You took a moment though, the second you were back in the waters of Ketterdam to breathe. Really breathe. The place was not perfect by any means. However it was, it still was home to you. You felt a drop of water on your shoulder. Kaz sighed. "Yes, rain on top of it all!" He said frustrated.

"Let it, it'll mask us for now." Inej said, pulling into a harbor.

You were helped out the boat by this Jesper man. The rain fall got worse as you walked through the streets of Ketterdam. "I swear to the saints this is the most annoying job I've done" Kaz muttered.

"I thought you didn't believe in saints?" Inej teased. Kaz gritted his teeth.

"Forgive them, they were raised in a barn." Jesper said to you. You smiled slightly. "So you're out of prison. What's the first thing you want to do?" Jesper asked. You pondered.

"Have a nice meal." You said. He laughed.

"A respectable answer." He said making you chuckle. Kaz entered the club, all of you following behind.

You froze in your tracks though the instant you saw her. Jesper saw the look on your face. Everyone could see the look on your face. What was supposed to be a heartwarming reunion of sisters was something far different.

Rage. Unbridled Rage.

"Oh thank the saints! You're safe!" Dahlia said, rushing forward to hug you. You immediately shoved her away, Inej looking at Kaz confused.

"Y/n? Are you alright?" Dahlia asked.

"You think I don't know?" You scoffed. Jesper looked at Kaz then you.

"Y/n, I paid for your freedom--"

"You took my freedom!" You snapped. Kaz could see something different with Dahlia's stance. He underestimated the teary eyed girl. He didn't like being fooled. And he certainly didn't like going through all that for a traitor. Kaz gripped his cane, the leather cracking sound of his gloves alerting Inej to his anger. She suspected that if the man wasn't wearing gloves, his knuckles would be white.

"Y/n, I surely don't know what you are talking about-"

"You and Pekka fucking Rollins!" You shouted. Heads in the club certainly turned to that name. "You tried to sell me- you and father both did! To that-that monster! And when it didn't work you had me framed for fucking murder!" You screamed. Inej frowned, looking at Kaz shocked by the revelation.

"Y/n, let's discuss this somewhere else- we'll have coffee- we'll talk-" you shook with anger.

"I would rather go back to Hellgate than ever talk to you or father again." You snarled. Dahlia went silent.

"The girl you knew, the one that bowed to your abuse, father's abuse is dead. And you killed her." You said. Dahlia finally dropped the facade, her face looking at you with hatred.

"You have nowhere to run Y/n. You will come home or you will go back." She said.

"I'll die first." You said. "I can arrange that." She said, a despicable look on her face. You swallowed hard, staring her down. It felt like you were staring at a monster even worse than whatever came from the Hellshow. Jesper looked at Kaz for guidance.

A gun was drawn from under Dahlia's dress and Kaz raised his cane to her, everyone else following suit. There must've been dozens of guns and pistols aimed at Dahlia, along with a few knives.

"There's a problem with this." Kaz said. "I was told to bring Y/n back. Here she is." Kaz said.

"Oh for fucks sake." Dahlia huffed, slamming her bag down. "Your money is in there." She said, not removing her eyes from you.

"Inej."

Inej reached into the bag, pulling out the jars of money. "It's here Kaz." She said.

"Good. Jesper." Kaz said.

A loud shot rang out and Dahlia toppled over. You saw the pool of blood form from her head as her dead gaze landed on you one last time. You shook, partially from fear, partially from the fact that you were damp from the rain. Kaz looked at your sister with disgust. "I hate being lied to. Even more, I hate that it worked." Kaz said. "Lynn. Clean it up." Kaz said. A woman sighed, walking over. "You. Follow me. Now." He said to you.

"Kaz wait a minute." Jesper halted.

"What Jesper?" Kaz snapped.

"The girl is hungry. She's cold. Have some humanity." He said. Kaz looked at you. He sighed.

"Xander, make her a steak. She deserves it. There's a fireplace in my office." He said, motioning for you to go. You looked at your sister one last time before looking back at Kaz. This man didn't need to rescue you, but he did. He didn't need to kill Dahlia, but he did. He didn't need to feed you, and yet there he was making a demand for food.

You took the time to eat, following Kaz back to a place he called "The Slat". You walked with him into his office as he lit the fireplace. "Sit." He said, motioning for you to sit on the couch.

"I am wet from the rain... If you don't mind I'll sit on the floor." You muttered.

"Do what you'd like, I don't care." He sighed, sitting on the couch.

You looked into the fireplace, feeling warmth for the first time in almost a year. Real warmth. You held out your hands, letting them heat up. Kaz looked at you. You were ruthless when you had to be. You were charming enough that you found a friend in the worst place. You could he useful, only if you wanted to be.

"Your sister said you had nowhere to go." Kaz said, looking at you. You didn't look him in the eyes.

"I suppose that's true... Now that Quincy is dead I..." you cleared your throat, lowering your hands. "I have no one." You muttered.

"You can work for us." He said, leaning back. You looked at him finally.

"What?" You asked shocked.

"The Dregs. You can join the ranks. You'll stay here with us until you're on your feet." He said.

"You want me to join the gang that is rivals with the other that tried to kill me?" You asked.

"We have a common enemy." Kaz said. You couldn't argue with that. You wanted that Pekka bastard dead.

"What... exactly are the benefits?" You asked. "You'll have a roof over your head. Friends even, if you like that sort of thing. You won't go hungry. The only thing you'll have to do are the jobs I give you." He said. You looked at him.

"You're not... shipping me to the Menagerie are you?" You asked. Kaz scoffed.

"Hardly not. Inej would have my head if I did." He said. You looked at him and the hand he extended to you. You noticed, despite the wetness of the man's gloves, he did not remove them.

You had come from Hell and survived. You had lived in Hell and survived. Now wasn't just an offer of food and a roof but a chance to side with the very people Pekka hated. That was enticing. That was more than enticing.

That was perfect.

#kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz x you #kaz x y/n #kaz x reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x reader

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

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Hellooo! Saw that your requests for kazzle dazzle are open and I love how you write him <3 Could I please request something with a reader who's on their period? Thank you!!

Trigger warnings: mentions of blood. Obviously.

Helping

(Kaz Brekker x reader)

No one knew why it was always worse for you. You always had more to deal with compared to the other women in the group and it made you feel... almost inferior. If this was normal, if it was like this for them, why was it so hard for you to deal with?

You were sitting in your bathroom with all of the lights turned off. Migraines, painful, brutal migraines plagued you every month around this time. You were propped against your toilet, struggling to even move off the bathroom floor. Everyone had left for a mission so it was just you. Well. You and Kaz. But you knew how he was and you weren't about to ask him for help.

You heard a knock. "What?" You asked, sounding disoriented from the pain.

"Are you alright?" Kaz asked.

"No." You muttered. Kaz didn't like being around this time of the month. It wasn't your situation, by any means. Inej and Nina had periods, he wasn't ignorant to the situation by any means. It was the fact that it was you in pain.

He recalled a time where you took a literal bullet for him. He remembered feeling absolutely awful when he saw how close to death you were. You were sweating so bad, struggling to breathe without wanting to cry from the pain. He couldn't stand to see you of all people like that again.

But this was something he'd push aside. He had to, it was just you and him at the moment.

"May I enter?" He asked.

"Just keep the lights off." You said. He opened the door, seeing you leaned against the toilet. He lowered himself to the ground, sitting with you.

"Do you need anything?" He asked.

"Yes. For my uterus to GO. AWAY." You said.

"...I don't believe I can help with that." He said. You whined, leaning over the toilet.

Kaz noticed the strands of hair lingering by your face as you dry heaved. With hesitation, he pulled back your hair, holding it. "Thank you" you whined before throwing up. He rubbed your back to soothe you as you leaned back. "It hurts" you whined. He reached upwards, grabbing a washcloth by the sink and using the sink to make it damp.

You leaned against the wall, just trying to relax when you felt something damp near your lips. You opened your eyes to see Kaz wiping your mouth for you. "I'm sorry you had to take care of me." You muttered.

"You'd take care of me if I were like this." He said.

"Yes, but it doesn't stop it from being gross." You muttered.

"This is the Barrel. You turn down a street and you will literally see at least three people vomiting." He shrugged. You let out a tired chuckle before you winced again.

"I need... I need to be warm." You said.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked. You looked at him.

"I need..." You sighed. "This is awkward." You whined.

"Why would it be awkward?" Kaz asked.

"I... I need help into the bath." You said. Oh. Oh that's why it's awkward. He shifted, putting the soiled washcloth on the counter. He looked at your state and sighed.

"Lean up and raise your arms." He said. You did, confused as Kaz carefully removed your shirt. He unhooked your bra, looking upwards to at least try to keep your modesty. You shoved off your pants as he pulled you up, taking you to the tub. He carefully turned on the water, you looking at him. "Why are you being so nice to me?" You asked.

"Because you're in pain." He said.

You were confused by that statement. "I don't like seeing one of my crows in pain. Much less you." He said.

"Am I special in some way?" You asked. "Do you see me with anyone else right now?" He asked sarcastically. You still seemed confused. "You took a bullet for me. I owe you my life. So when you need me, I am here." He said. You smiled slightly, you seemed a bit more tired from battling the pains you were experiencing.

Kaz leaned back against a cabinet. "Kaz?" "Mm?"

"Thank you." You muttered.

He smiled slightly.

"Any time"

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x reader

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

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can you please write a kaz x reader where they have an established relationship and they’re slowly working on his touch and slowly he’s getting more comfortable with it but then they go on a mission and something happens that the reader can’t stand touch. and maybe he has to lead both of them down the road to recovery

Trust (Kaz x reader)

Trigger warnings: violence, wounds, implications of SA, murder and talks of past trauma.

"It's alright." You assured Kaz. He swallowed hard, holding his hands out. "Here." You said, hovering your hands over his. He inhaled sharply. He trusted you, there was no doubt. He loved you so much but touching was still a difficult thing. You knew it wouldn't be fixed overnight, you were patient and did small exercises to help him.

"I'm ready." He said. You nodded, holding his hands. He inhaled sharply once again, closing his eyes.

"Here. Here's something that might help." You said removing your hands from his. You showed him your wrist, guiding his hand to your nerves. "Feel that? That pulsing?" You asked. Kaz gave a small nod. "That's my pulse. Just feel it for a second, okay?" You said softly. He nodded, looking in your eyes. Your gentle sweet eyes.

"You know I love you, right." He asked.

"I know Kaz. It's okay."

He gently lifted your hand, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. You loved this man more than life itself. He was your reason for breathing most days, he made you laugh, smile and most importantly, he made you feel safe.

Kaz shuddered after a moment. "Do you wish to stop my love?" You asked. He nodded.

"Please." He said softly. You handed him his gloves and he put them back on with a sigh. "I wish it wasn't this hard." He muttered.

"It's alright Kaz." You said softly.

"It's not fair to you." He said.

"I don't care if you touch me. I care if you're alright with touching me." You said to him. He nodded mindlessly. "I love you." You said to him. He looked at you with adoration.

"I love you too." He said. You looked at the clock and sighed.

"I have to go." You said.

"Do you need me to walk you back?" He asked.

"No, I should be fine." You said, grabbing your daggers off of a nearby table. You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, him giving a small smile as you left.

It was raining, which wasn't unusual for the dark damp streets of Ketterdam. You had gotten used to it now, usually wearing a hood when you walked outside because of it. It was cold of course, you could see your breath as you walked, the light splelching of your boots against the wet cobblestone echoing against the stone buildings.

You heard a noise though, your hand instinctively flying to your daggers. "What's your business?" You asked. No one responded. "I've already heard your sorry excuse for sneaking, what is your fucking business?" You asked again, this time more aggressive. Hopefully your tone would deter anyone from jumping you.

You knew how dangerous these streets could be. You turned back, planning on asking Kaz to escort you home afterall when a pair of hands flew over your nose and mouth with a cloth. Your vision became hazy, and your legs gave out.

When you woke up, you were in a wooden chair, your hair was damp and you were tied with your hands behind your back. "This is Dirty Hands' girl aye?" A man asked. He gripped your chin, forcing you to look at him. "She's much too pretty for that bastard." He said. You spat at him, him slapping you in response. "Don't you go thinkin' you've got control of this situation. We could kill you." He threatened.

"You're not going to kill me." You said, your voice slightly raspy from having just woken up.

"What makes you so sure of that?" A man who was leaning against the wall asked.

"You need me to get to Dirty Hands. Without me you've got nothing." You said.

The man who had slapped you chuckled. "She's sharp." He said.

"I suspect you're as dull as a fucking butter knife." You said.

He frowned. "We might not can kill you-" he put his blade from his holster over a nearby flame, waiting until it was hot. He pressed it to your arm, you yelping in response. "But that don't mean we can't torture you."

And that they did. For what felt like days were actually just hours. You had been forced through hours of pure torture, both physically and psychologically. You only had access to one bit of daylight over you that told you that it had been the same day the entire time you went through hell.

There you were, back in that chair, your lip now busted, bruises now trailed all over your body. Death would have been kinder than this. "Maybe he's not coming." A man suggested.

Your head hung down, blood dripping from your mouth. "He'll come." The man insisted. You heard a thud behind you, you glancing over to see the guard that was once by a door dead. You didn't hear footsteps though and that told you everything you needed know. Kaz had sent Inej for your rescue.

"Frank, bring me the iron again." He said.

There was no response.

"Frank. Get off your ass."

Again, no response, someone behind him being killed. There was a gasp before a loud snap, alerting the man to someone else being there. Then you heard it.

The familiar tap of a cane.

"Tell me." Kaz's voice asked from the shadows. "What made you think you could hurt my dear Y/n" Inej pressed her blade to the man's neck, forcing him to his knees. "And you'd just... get away with it?" He asked, Inej looking at Kaz for further instruction.

"We needed-needed to send a message!" He insisted.

"Oh? What message was that?" Kaz asked, looking at him as he stepped into the light.

"That we could get to her just as eas-easy as you got us." He said. Inej scowled.

"Here's the difference." Kaz said, looking at him. "We didn't make your men suffer." Kaz said. He pointed at you with his cane. "And we certainly didn't go for your heart. He put his cane back to the ground. "The message you sent was your undoing. Ours was simple. Stay away from my crows. It seems you didn't learn. Now? Now you will. Inej." Kaz said. Inej without hesitation slit his throat, grimacing at the sight. Before Kaz threw down his cane.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he began untying you.

"I knew you'd come." You said, slightly relieved. He looked up.

"I'd fight an entire army to get you back." He said. Your wrists were finally free you struggling to stand up.

Inej reached out to help but that'd when you jolted back, fear in your eyes as you pulled your arm away with a "Don't touch me!"

Kaz looked at her and then you. You trusted Inej. You loved Inej. This reaction, it didn't feel normal. That's when Kaz noticed your state. They hurt you. Not just physically. He took off his coat, handing it to you.

You took it hesitantly, putting it around yourself as you were escorted home. Kaz made sure his best were always protecting you. Always. Someone walked you to work, someone walked you home. Always.

You had walked into Kaz's office, sitting on his couch as he finished paperwork. "How was your day?" He asked.

"I keep having nightmares." You muttered.

Kaz looked up, giving you a sympathetic look. "I should've walked you home that night." He said.

"I told you not to." You shrugged.

"Yes but I should've insisted." He said.

"It was my choice Kaz. You did nothing wrong." You muttered.

Kaz sighed. This wasn't fair. You had been attacked for things he did. You were innocent in all of this yet you had gone through hell anyway. Now he couldn't touch you. Not because he didn't want to be touched but you didn't.

Anytime someone had unintentionally made contact, you'd jump. One unfortunate touch from Jesper ended with your blade to his neck, having to be calmed down to realize what you had done. You began isolating yourself, backing away from nearly any interaction. There was one person you'd talk to though. And that was Kaz.

He looked at you sympathetically. "How are your wounds?" He asked. "Do they hurt?"

"All the time. Especially when I think about how I got them..." you mumbled.

He looked at the bandages on your arms. "Perhaps I can help you change them." He suggested.

You looked at him. "But..." you pulled back into the couch. "What if I hurt you?" You whispered. It was clear the incident with Jesper was still fresh on your mind.

"I'll bare through it." He said softly. You hesitantly moved forward, holding out your arms. Kaz removed his gloves, pulling bandages from a drawing and moved his chair so he was directly in front of you. He hated seeing the wounds they inflicted.

He took your hand, you flinching, balling your hand into a fist before releasing. You drew a shaking breath, closing your eyes. "You're safe my love." He said softly. You nodded, letting out a breath.

"Thank you." You said softly. He began wrapping the wounds, you wincing as the cloth brushed against your skin.

"Are you alright?" He asked, looking at that pained expression.

"It's fine. Just feels like a bad scrape is all." You said. Kaz lifted your arm, you looking at him confused as he pressed a kiss to your cut. You smiled at him, a little light coming back to your eyes.

They had been so dark and tired since you got back. Seeing that light made Kaz realize that yes, the journey was going to be long and probably painful for the both of you. But you both could do it.

And you could do this together.

#kaz x y/n #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

Note

I hate to ask again but I had and idea. Also the last one was so cute thank you. If you can can you please write a Kaz Brekker x reader where the reader is in love with this book but no one has read is so they have no one to talk to about it so Kaz reads it and starts a conversation about it with the reader and they get really happy and start ranting about it to him and he’s just happy to sit and listen to them and make comments from time to time

Dude, send me all the requests for our boy Kazzle Dazzle your ideas are so creative!

Book Club (Kaz x reader)

He needed an opening. Just one solid reason to actually talk to you. You had been in the Dregs for years now and Kaz was still struggling to even breathe around you. He had this crush on you that he refused to admit was there. Inej saw it, even dumbass Jesper saw it.

You'd assume that Kaz was mute if it hadn't been for your presence in the Dregs. You had been there for a long time but disappeared on a mission far off for three years. The room above Kaz had been vacant and then suddenly it had life. Kaz had no idea anyone even lived above him until you knocked on his door your first night back and asked him to join you for tea.

There you sat on a nice couch with a cup of chamomile. Kaz was perplexed by who you were and why the fuck you wanted to drink glorified leaves in water.

"Why am I here?" He asked.

"You tell me." You said, sipping from your cup. Kaz furrowed his brow.

"You asked me to have tea with you." He said, watching you with those daggers for eyes.

"You didn't have to say yes." You shrugged.

"I did."

"You did not." "I did." He said. "Okay then, why did you have to accept?" You asked. He sighed, looking at you with his gloved hands gripping his cane.

"Because I needed to know who was suddenly living in the room above me." He said. You rose a brow.

"You could've asked Inej to investigate." You said. He blinked.

"You know Inej?" He asked.

"I've been in the Dregs for three years, of course I know your main lot. Inej, Jesper, Nina, Wylan and that off-putting convict Mattias." You said.

Kaz was confused. How did you know so much but he was ignorant to you? How did he not know who you were?

"I'm a sharpshooter. I use that-" you pointed to a rifle on the mantle "rifle to kill whoever you want dead." You said.

"Why do I not know you?" Kaz asked.

"I was off in Shu Han for Haskell." You said. "For what?" Kaz asked.

"You do your business, I'll do mine." You said.

He liked that response. It meant you'd keep any secret that slipped through your ears. "I will work for you when you need me. Say the word, I will be there no questions asked unless one of ours is bleeding." You said.

"Why tea?" He asked. "We easily could've done this over something less detestable."

You chuckled. "You've not had the right tea then." You said with that smile.

That fucking smile. From that moment on Kaz was hooked. He couldn't help it. It was hard to not fall in love with someone like you. You were always there when he needed you, apparently you had taken some training on stealth from Inej, leaning to be one with the dark making you even more deadly.

But for the deadly persona that the streets simply knew as "the bullet", you were a gentle person. Kaz often noticed you with stray animals, seeing that kind smile. The one that made Kaz at a loss for words. You'd often make that same smile at Kaz when you'd pass him with a gentle "hi boss."

Sure, technically Per Haskell was the "boss". You however knew damn well Kaz was the brains behind everything. You had become close with the other members of the Dregs, including Inej who called you a sister. She loved being around you. You gave good advice and that was probably why the rest of the group would flock to you.

So there you all were, your head in Jesper's lap as you read. Kaz had noticed your sudden interest in this, everytime he saw you, you had that book in hand now. Wylan looked over at you.

"Care to join the game?" He asked.

"I'm good." You said, turning the page.

"You've been reading that for two weeks now, come up for air." Inej said.

"I need to know if Alistair lives Inej, the prophecy is strongly implying he will die and I don't think Cousland can handle him dying." You muttered, reading.

"None of that made any sense." Nina said.

"It'll make sense if one of you would at least read it." You said.

"We're all too busy. Kaz keeps giving us stupid b&e's.(breaking and entering)" Jesper said.

"Not all of you are busy though. Wylan?" You said.

"Kaz has been training me for lockpicking." Wylan said.

"He take you to the financial district?" You asked, looking up.

"Once or twice." He shrugged.

"Course he did. Best place to practice." You said before going back to your book.

"Alright, who's in?" Jesper asked.

Inej noticed Kaz at the bar, occasionally looking over at you. "I'm out." She said.

Inej made her way to him and he cleared his throat, turning back to his drink. It looked like scotch but the smell... it wasn't scotch it was tea.

"Didn't you say that tea was just leaves in water that is hot?" Inej asked.

"I hadn't drank the right tea." Kaz said, looking at the glass with vacant eyes. Inej recognized the expression. Kaz was at war with himself, as usual.

He never handled his innermost feelings well, especially the ones that left him vulnerable. And what was more vulnerable than love? You were a plague to his mind, always there. When it wasn't your face that he was smiling internally at, it was your laugh. When it wasn't your laugh it was your smile and so on. He wanted so badly to talk to you like he once did over tea but he didn't think it was a good idea.

You were just so perfect in his eyes. So beautiful, so smart. If he tried to converse, he'd make an ass of himself. He needed an opening something fierce. Something to give him a reason to talk to you instead of "hey, your face is anestheticly pleasing to look at, which I do. Frequently. Without you knowing."

"You're staring at your glass mighty hard there." Inej said. Kaz looked up. "You should just talk to her." She said.

"It's not that easy." He muttered.

"I do it all the time." Inej said with an eyeroll.

"Because you are friends. You know her. I am not that lucky." He said.

"You do know her." Inej said.

"Not like that. I know her from afar. Where it's safe." He said, drinking the glass.

"Kaz, she's right there. Just talk to her." Inej said.

You got up, stretching with a yawn. "I'm heading out " You said to Inej.

"Kaz will go with you!" Inej volunteered.

If looks could kill, Inej would've been six feet under at that moment Kaz glared at her.

"Alright..?" You said confused. Kaz sighed looking at Inej and then you before standing up.

He walked out with you, noticing the dark clouds that hung in the sky. "Looks like it might rain" he said.

"Good reading weather." You said.

"You're usually reading nowadays." Kaz said.

"It's a nice escape from things when they get too intense." You shrugged.

"What is it that you're reading now?" He asked.

If you were a dog, your ears would've perked up. "It's amazing- it's about this girl who joins this legendary army and has to rebuild what was-... Sorry." You cleared your throat.

"Why are you apologizing?" He asked.

"Well apparently everyone thinks I talk too much about this book." You said.

"Who said that?"

"Well Nina." He'd kill her

"And Jesper." He'd shoot him with his own guns

"And Inej." Wait what?

"And pretty much anyone who asks me." You finished.

"Wow." Was all Kaz could muster for words.

You shrugged. "I wish they'd just listen to me and read the damn book." You said.

"Why do you think they haven't?" He asked.

"They're all busy. They have their own lives and I have mine. It's nothing personal, I know. But I just wish sometimes I could talk to someone about it and have them actually know what I'm talking about." You said walking.

Kaz then realized this was it. This was his perfect excuse to get closer. "What's the name of the book?" He asked curiously.

"Rise of the Grey Wardens. Why?" You asked.

"I figured I could read it." He shrugged.

Your eyes lit up and Kaz felt intense joy. He made you happy. He actually made you happy. He didn't mean to but he did and my god were you adorable to him when you were beaming. "Then I know where we should go!" You said walking ahead of him.

Instinctively he followed. "Where are we going?" He asked.

You looked back, a breeze blowing your hair in such a beautiful way as you turned to him. "My favorite place in Ketterdam."

He asked no more questions after that, just following you quietly through backstreets. Kaz watched you approach a side door to a building, knocking on it rhythmically. The door open, an older woman smiling at you.

"Weren't you just here a few days ago?" She asked.

"I brought a friend." You said with a smile, stepping back and motioning for Kaz to introduce himself. Kaz couldn't help but feel a little giddy of your use of 'friend'.

"I'm-"

"I know." She said. She didn't say it with disdain though, which shocked him. "You're the reason we're still open. Come on in Mister Brekker."

He didn't know what that meant but accepted the invitation, walking in. "Do you have another copy of 'Rise of the Grey Wardens'?" You asked.

"I do, why did you burn through your other copy?" She asked.

"Mister Brekker wishes to read." You said with a grin. Kaz's eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room. Bookshelves lined the walls both on the first and second floor of the building. There must've been thousands of books in front of Kaz.

"Here you are mister Brekker." The woman said.

"Thank you er..."

"Miriam." She said with a nod and a kind smile. She gave off the feeling of a doting grandmother with how fond she seemed of you. "Right! Y/n dear, I made some sugar biscuits if you'd like to try them" she said. You seemed to have found your way upstairs when you responded back with a

"Be right down!"

You returned with a new book in hand and Miriam grinned as Kaz took the book. "I see you've found the sequel." She said. You had the biggest grin.

"I had no clue it was a series." You admitted.

"The second one tends to be slow but it is vital for the third." She said, handing you a cookie.

You smiled, taking it. "Thank you. How much do I owe you?" You asked.

"Nothing. It's on the house." She declared.

"Miriam, if you ever wanted to apply for sainthood, I do believe you to be eligible." You said making her laugh.

"Thank the saints you didn't know me in my youth." She teased making you laugh. Kaz couldn't explain it. Usually smalltalk annoyed him but something about this was nice to him. You and Miriam seemed to have a tight bond.

"We should go, it does look like it'll rain." You said, peaking out a window. Kaz nodded but Miriam held her hand up before handing you and Kaz paper bags.

"For the road." She told the both of you. You gave her a kind smile before walking back to the door. "One moment Mister Brekker." She halted. Kaz turned around as Miriam motioned for him to lean forward for them to whisper. "Keep her safe, will you? There's not many a good person in Ketterdam but she's one of them." She said.

Kaz with possibly the sweetest look of adoration he could muster simply said "I will, Miss Miriam." Before he followed you out. The two of you began your trek back to the Slat. "How long have you known Miriam?" Kaz asked.

"Going on ten years now. Saved her cat from a town fire, she's been grateful since." You said, opening the paperbag and pulling a cookie out. Miriam gave you both cookies. Maybe Miriam was just a village grandma.

"Has any of the others met her?" He asked.

You shook your head. "You'd be the first I've shown to the Archive." You said.

"Why me?" Kaz asked as a crack of thunder sounded off.

"Because you asked me about what I read." You said before walking into the Slat.

Kaz winded up spending a good week reading that book. You were right, it was an amazing story. When he finished, he had that same urge that you did to discuss it.

All of the crows were back in the club, this time Kaz and you both playing a round of poker. Jesper hated this. You were way too good at poker and kept winning, hand after hand. You had a nice stack of chips. Inej seeing your smirk as you leaned back in your chair.

"I win again!" You said.

"Why is this so hard?" Wylan asked.

"Because Y/n is way too good at this." Jesper groaned, smacking his head on the table. Nina sighed.

"I need a drink. A very large one." She said.

"I've got my own little army of chips." You said, stacking them.

"You could rebuild the Cousland estate with your winnings." Kaz said, you looking up slightly shocked. "Course, I could always pull a Howe and, y'know. Knock it down." Kaz added.

You looked bewildered as Inej rose a brow.

"Kay, is it just me, or did none of that make sense?" Jesper asked.

"You just made a reference." You said.

"I did." Kaz nodded.

"You finished it."

"I did."

"And!?"

"You were right. The book is fantastic, I could not put it down." Kaz said.

Inej and Jesper exchanged a look.

"Fuck poker. We need to discuss the book NOW!" You said excitedly.

"Yes! Put me out of my misery!" Jesper said.

Kaz looked at him and then you. "Let's have tea." He suggest. Nina's eyes went wide as she realized what was happening before her, her looking at Inej who had a smile on her face.

"I'm grabbing my coat! Let's go!" You said getting up. Kaz followed you as you practically bounced out the door with excitement.

Nina gaped. "How long has he been in love with her!?" She asked as the door closed.

"Oh a while now, like since she got back." Wylan shrugged.

Jesper and Inej looked at Wylan as he moved your chips.

"You knew?" Inej asked.

"It'd take a blind man not to see."

You ended up back at the Slat, sitting cross legged on your sofa. You two must've discussed the book for hours, Kaz loving every moment of it as he heard you passionately talk about the story.

You sighed with a smile. "It's funny, I didn't think you liked me." You said, looking at your empty tea cup.

Kaz rose a brow. "Why did you think that?" He asked.

"You just seemed so... I dunno. Angry that I returned." You said.

"I wasn't."

"But you seemed it."

"I didn't know who you were. I was on my guard" he said. You rose a brow.

"You're not anymore?" You asked. Kaz bared a gentle expression that made your heart almost explode inside your chest.

"I'm not. You're one of the few I trust. The only I'd trust with my entire being." He said. Kaz didn't have faith in a lot of things. But he had faith in you and it showed. He looked at you. "Do you trust me?" He asked.

You gave him a look of pure adoration. "Of course." You said. You had spent your life reading books about the greatest romances of all time. You'd get lost in those stories of how the man always loved the girl but she didn't realize it until a pivotal moment.

"Kaz... you said you trusted me." You breathed. "Please. Please let my intuition be right." You thought to yourself as Kaz gave you a questioning look. "Do you... love me?"

Your question hung in the air for what felt like the longest minute of your life. Kaz definitely seemed caught way off his guard by the question, his eyes widening the second he realized what was happening.

This entire time he has been hoping for an opening to talk to you. A moment to truly get to know you. Well he got one. And he fell in love with every bit of you. He swallowed hard.

"Forget that I asked, I am so sorr-" "I do." He said.

You blinked. "What?"

"I love you." He said. Your jaw must've hit the floor. You knew how guarded this man was. You heard that any semblance of vulnerability was practically impossible from Kaz and yet here he was. Being the most vulnerable he could be with you.

You looked at him before getting up. He thought his words might've done something bad. Maybe you didn't want his love. Maybe he had misinterpreted everything, maybe he was a fool for thinking there was-

You kneeled in front of him. "Kaz, may... Uhm... May I touch you?" You asked. With hesitation he nodded as your hand gently held his cheek. The touch of humans was deeply unsettling to Kaz. That feeling brought him back to a place he never wanted to be in ever again and yet somehow...

Somehow your gentle touch made him feel safe. If it had been anyone else he'd probably be in the process of murdering the fool who touched him. But it was you. You were like an angel on earth to him.

"When I look at you, do you know what I see?" You asked softly.

"No." He muttered.

"I see someone else who's been through hell and came out on the other side." You held his hands, Kaz looking in your eyes. "We've suffered long enough and we deserve to be happy." You said softly.

Kaz had a momentary loss of control. He kissed you, you leaning into his touch. He pulled away with wide eyes. "I am so sorry-" "shut up and kiss me Brekker."

The next day you were at the crow club reading at the bar next to Inej. Jesper yawned. "It's a boring day. Wish Kaz would give us something to do. By this point I'll take a fucking b&e." He whined.

Kaz, as if he were summoned, walked through the doors of the crow club, sitting on your other side. For once, Inej watched you put your book down as you gave a gentle smile to Kaz. "Hello" you said.

The dead give away that something had changed was the fact that Kaz smiled. He actually smiled back at you. "Hello." He said softly.

Inej and Jesper swapped shocked looks. "Y/n, do you mind helping me with this? It's a rifle mod and I wanna make sure I've got the measurements right." Wylan asked. You looked over.

"Alright." You said walking off.

Jesper and Inej looked at Kaz who now had a drink in his hand. "What the hell happened last night!?" Jesper asked.

"Nothing important." Kaz shrugged.

"We just had tea."

#kaz x y/n #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

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Can you please write a Kaz Brekker x reader fanfic where the reader mentions something they love or like to Jesper when they are talking and Kaz overhears and then starts buying her it like everday and like leaves it on the readers nightstand, but the reader doesn’t know who’s been leaving it until like someone else finds out and tells the reader? Please.

THIS IS SO CUTE

Caffeine

(Kaz x reader)

"Coffee? You drink coffee everyday?" Jesper asked. "Well something's got to keep me going." You said with a shrug. Kaz who was seated across from you at another table had a newspaper up, drinking his usual tea as he looked for a lead on a job. What you didn't realize was that Kaz had heard you.

He loved you so much but hadn't said anything. After all, who would return the sentiment to a man who was repulsed by being touched. He showed it in small gestures. Always giving you a free meal at the club, ensuring your safety on the streets, giving you your own room at the Slat, paying for your weapon repairs when you needed them. Inej and Jesper knew the real reason. They both knew Kaz loved you but wouldn't admit it. "She's an investment, nothing more." He told them. Investment. Right. That's all you were to him.

Kaz got up from his seat, you looking over. "Going back to the Slat?" You asked. He gave a silent nod. "I'll go with you, I'm pretty tired." You said getting up. "Probably a caffeine crash." Jesper said. "Oh shove off you." You said with an eyeroll. Kaz walked the lit streets of Ketterdam with you next to him.

There was a part of him that wanted so badly to know what it'd be like to actually love you. "Stop" he'd tell himself. "That is vulnerability. That is a weakness."

"Something on your mind Kaz?" You asked. "Mm? No. Nothing, why?" He asked. "You're just quietly staring at me pretty hard there. So." You said with a shrug, putting your arms around yourself to keep from getting cold. "You're cold." He realized. "Well sort of. It's not that big of a-" Kaz took his coat off, handing it to you. "Deal..." you finished, looking at the man with slight surprise. "Thank you." You said, taking the coat.

You could never get a full read on Kaz. Sometimes you thought he was a decent man, someone who'd never turn his back on you. Other times you agreed with Nina's mindset of him being slappable. It didn't help that he was gorgeous. Sometimes you had this urge to just run your fingers through his hair. You knew he hated touch though so you kept your hands to yourself.

His coat was too big for you of course, going slightly over your hands. "I have a new weapon." You declared, waving the loose sleeve at him. His heart exploded in his chest, him quickly looking away to hide the blush forming on his cheeks. "I didn't think your arms were this long. Hmm." You said, stretching out your arms to see the size difference of the sleeves. He found you to be so adorable. It was frustrating. Is this how everyone saw Wylan?

When you reached the Slat, you gave him back his jacket. "Thanks for keeping me warm." You told him. He just nodded in response and you went to bed.

The next morning you woke up to a warm aroma. Your eyes fluttered open and you saw a coffee on your nightstand. You leaned up confused. Did you buy coffee last night and not remember? No, that wasn't possible. It was warm, it'd be cold if it was from last night.

You drank it, tasting a faint hazelnut. It was a pleasant feeling, waking you up enough to go downstairs where Jesper was sitting with Inej. "Thanks for the coffee." You said sitting next to Jesper. He rose a brow. "I didn't get you coffee." He said. You blinked. "Inej?" You asked. "No." She said. "Wylan?" You asked the boy coming downstairs. "What?" He asked. "Did you give me coffee?" You asked. "No? I'm not big on coffee." He shrugged. "Who the hell made me coffee?" You asked as Kaz walked past them. "Kaz, did you make me coffee?" You asked. "Yeah, right. Kaz make you coffee. Mark that up there with the saints themselves paying us a visit." Jesper said. Kaz ignored the group, walking out the door. Inej looked at you and then the door. She knew.

She had her sneaking suspicions about his intentions towards you for a while, but it seemed the coffee was the final nail in the coffin. Kaz was in love with you, he just wasn't saying anything. Knowing how stubborn the ass could be, there was a chance he'd never say anything.

The following mornings were the same. You'd wake up to coffee on your nightstand. It was a nice ritual but you were confused on who was leaving it for you. So you decided to sleep light. It was around eight when your door opened, you pretending to still sleep. You heard the person set down the cup and you looked over to see the last person you'd expect. "Kaz?" You asked making him jump.

"You're the one leaving me coffee?" You asked. "Uh... No?" He lied. He was the worst liar when it came to you. You leaned up looking at him. "Yes. I am." He said. "But... why?" You asked. "It makes you happy." He muttered. Your heart melted at those words. Something so trivial to you yet it clearly was a bigger deal to him. Your happiness was something he'd actively go out of his way for. And that made you want to kiss him.

"Kaz that's so-" "Ridiculous, I know-" "Sweet. I was going to say sweet." You corrected. He put a hand on the back of his neck, looking away nervously. "Have you always done things like this?" You asked. "No." He lied again. You looked at him with a squint, implying you knew more. "Yes. Yes I have." He sighed. "Kaz, why haven't you said anything?" You asked. "Because why would you care?" He asked. "Well if someone is doing things for them I should thank them. It's just polite." You said sarcastically. He sighed. "Kaz..." you said getting up.

He moved back. "Kaz, I care about you. I just... I need to know that-" "Why?" He asked. "What?" "I am a rude, selfish man who is known literally as the 'Bastard of the Barrel'. So why do you care about me?" He asked. Your gaze softened. "You keep me safe" You said moving closer. Kaz moved back again. "You make sure that I'm not starving" you stepped closer and Kaz gripped the dresser behind him. "You made me coffee every morning because you knew I liked it" you said looking in his eyes.

"Kaz, you keep me alive. You make sure I have what I need. I went from being alone to having a home. You have... you have become my home." You said softly. Kaz looked in your eyes. "If you'll let me... I will be yours." If he let himself fall for you, it'd be a great risk. You were a weakness. You were his weakness. He was shaking from how close you were to him. He hated touch and yet somehow you made him want to touch you.

You backed up. "Just think about it. Okay?" You said. He swallowed hard as you approached your bedroom door.

His hand clasped around your wrist, catching you off guard. You had never touched him before, you knew he hated to be touched. Not only was he touching you, he was touching you with his bare hands. You turned to face him, staring at him.

Why wasn't he feeling that nausea that always came with touching someone? He hated touch so much, he hated that feeling and yet... He didn't feel nauseous. He didn't feel upset or anxious. He looked in your eyes, you not daring to utter a word while in his grasp. He couldn't stop staring into your eyes. He saw so much in them. He saw stars in them, he saw a fire thar burned bright... he saw a bit of himself in them.

His other hand found its way to your cheek, you instinctively leaning into his touch. Oh how he nearly fell apart at that. He had debated for months on simply telling you that he had feelings for you. He technically hadn't said anything but his actions, especially at this moment were screaming his intentions. You couldn't resist that. Like gold being waved in front of a thief you wanted nothing more than for Kaz to just kiss you. You wanted to know the thoughts in his mind.

He didn't kiss you. Not right away at least. He rested his forehead on yours, the hand on your wrist sliding into your hand. You looked at him as he closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "I have spent most of my life just... surviving. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely a human. But... there is something that reminds me that I am alive." He said softly. You wanted to ask but you couldn't form words when Kaz was this close to you. "You make me feel more human than anything else... And I am grateful for that." He said softly. You smiled slightly, holding his hand on your cheek. "I love you Kaz Brekker. Heart and soul. Body and mind." You said to him.

He smiled. He actually smiled. Something that very rarely came from him appeared in front of you. And you caused such a beautiful thing to occur. He kissed you, finally breaking a dam that had been nearly bursting for almost a year now. You smiled against his lips, looking in his eyes. "What?" Kaz asked quietly.

"I love seeing you happy." You said softly. He kissed you again with that same sweet smile. "I love you Y/n." He said softly. "And I love you Kaz." You said softly. He loved seeing those eyes looking at him. Your gaze was something that made him feel powerful and he had it now.

"If I known you'd be this grateful for coffee, I would've bought you a damn coffeehouse." He said making you laugh.

#kaz x y/n #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

Text

Any kaz brekker requests?

#kaz x y/n #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker #six of crows #grishaverse

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

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Can we get that pt2 to gorgeous?????

I gotchu

Pt:2 Pretty (Kaz x fem!reader)

Summary: Kaz comes back concussed and says some interesting things in your care.

Trigger warnings: talks about slavery, violence, implied SA, injuries, a concussion

Fire graced the papers on the sidewalk as the deafening taps of Kaz's cane moved down the cobblestone path. He stopped in front of a man who was badly injured.

Kaz had hunted every individual that helped with your capture. This was the second to last name on the list. Each bullet had a name carved on it, a ritual that you taught him. "When you put their name on a bullet, it makes it so the last thing they feel is the damage their name caused" you said to him.

"You know, it's crazy" he said, using his foot to roll the injured man onto his back. The man yelped. "That you thought you could hurt one of my men and get away with it." Kaz said, looking at the man like dirt that had gotten on his shoe. "We were just doin' what we were paid to do!" The man groaned out. Kaz let out a humorless chuckle. "Is that so? So repeatedly torturing my crow was a part of the plan, hm?" He asked. "We were just--" Kaz kneeled to look in the man's eyes. "No excuse will save your pathetic life." Kaz snarled. He cocked the pistol in his hand, the man whimpering in fear. "You will never hurt anyone else again."

A loud shot rang out through the streets, you leaning up from your bed. Lev lifted his head, looking at you. You couldn't help but think that that somehow had to do with Kaz. You decided it was better to check, getting out of bed and sliding on a coat and boots, arming yourself before walking out. You'd have to be a fool to walk the streets of the Barrel unarmed, especially at night.

You walked to Kaz's home, knocking on the door. Kaz opened it, you looking at him. "You answered quickly." You said. "I was in the study." He shrugged. "In your coat?" You asked, walking in. He sighed, closing the door. "That gunshot I just heard, was that you?" You asked. "Yes" he said. "Why did you shoot someone?" You asked. "Territory issues." He shrugged. "If it was a territory issue, Inej, Jesper or me wouldn've gone with you." You said with a sigh.

"It was a simple done deal. There's nothing to worry about, the man is dead, the message has been sent." Kaz said, sitting down. You sighed. "Did you come here to pester me?" He asked. "I came to make sure you were fine." You said, sitting across from him. Kaz sighed. "I'm alright Y/n. Even better after I put a bullet in a man's head." He said. You heard a siren and you sighed. "Was that all you did?" You asked. Kaz looked at the floor vacantly. "He shouldn't have been playing with fire."

You leaned back, Kaz looking at you. He noticed dark bags under your eyes. "Are you sleeping well?" He asked. "That obvious?" You asked. "You have darker bags than mine." He said making you chuckle. "Lev helps... It's just.. hard. Sleeping in that house." You muttered. Kaz looked at you concerned. "You know that you can stay here." He said. "I don't want to put you out." You said. "You wouldn't be." He assured. You seemed to be afraid of the idea.

"If you don't feel comfortable doing that then it's alright." Kaz assured. You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "It's not that it's... I've started screamed when I wake up." You said. Kaz rose a brow. "You have night terrors?" He asked. "I've always had them... It's the downfall of being indentured. They've just have gotten worse since... everything." You muttered.

Kaz had never heard you actually talk about your past as a slave. Kaz had pulled you out of that shitty life and because of that, you were grateful. You went to great lengths for him, basically becoming his right hand man. You trusted him. You'd follow him into hell if he asked.

"I don't mind dealing with that." He said softly. Your gaze softened, and you sighed. "Where are your blankets?" You asked. "Why?" He asked. "I need one to sleep." You said confused. "The bed has one." Kaz said. "I'm not sleeping in your bed Kaz, then I'd actually put you out." You huffed. "We can share it, genius. I don't mind unless you do." He said. "No I don't mind but--" "Perfect, come." He said walking. You sighed. For someone who was known to be a greedy bastard, he was shockingly generous.

You followed him, seeing the home he assembled. It was dark, lot of darker colors like crimson and brown wood paneling aligned the wall. You walked into his room, Kaz just casually removing his shirt as he walked in. Typical responses would've involved you looking away but he had done this plenty of times that you didn't bat an eye. He'd often call you in while he washed himself off, telling you plans as he did so.

You'd play the part of pretending that it was just normal procedure but your heart always did backflips as you saw him. You took off your jacket, putting it on a chair and setting your boots on the floor. Kaz looked over his shoulder as he changed. You noticed something on a table in the room, walking over to it, Kaz heard your footsteps but said nothing.

The paper was a list. Names had been crossed off, all them being people amongst the Dime Lions. It felt like you had the air leave your lungs from shock. "You killed them?" You asked. Kaz's movement ceased. He slowly looked at you holding the list. "I didn't want them going after you again." Kaz said.

You looked at him concerned. "You could've gotten killed Kaz!" You said, looking at him. "I wanted you to feel safe." He said calmly. "Kaz- you fucked with a rival gang-- What if they kill you!?" You asked panicked. "I am fine" He assured. "But what if-" "I am fine." He said, looking at you.

He was closer now, you could feel his breath. "They can't hurt anyone again. That is what matters." He said softly. "But what if you had gotten hurt?" You asked. "I didn't get hurt." He said. "Kaz-" He put a hand on your cheek, your hand holding the list dropping. You looked in Kaz's eyes.

He was so gentle with you, it didn't make any sense. Nothing made sense anymore. Not since you were bought out of slavery with Inej. You could remember when you walked out the pleasure house for the first time after your freedom.

Granted Ketterdam always had that cloudy smog hanging over the city, it felt like you had stepped out into the light for the first time. Kaz saw the relief on your face. It looked as if you had the weight of the world suddenly lifted from your shoulders.

There was a crack of thunder that made you both realize the closeness. You backed up, clearing your throat. "Thank you... For... This." you said holding up the list. "They deserved it." Kaz said, returning back to his typical demeanor. You nodded mindlessly.

You set the list back down and sat on the bed, looking around. You had probably stood in this room dozens of times but not once had you actually examined it. "You really like the dark, don't you?" you asked. "Hides the monsters you can see in the light." he said laying down. Such an odd statement but one that made sense to you.

Children often slept with lights on to keep the monsters in the dark at bay, yet as you got older you got used to your demons being there. You just didn't want to see them anymore. Kaz sat on the other side, climbing into bed. You seemed to hesitate but eventually laid down.

Hours passed with you staring at the ceiling. Kaz, unbeknownst to you had also been awake, staring at the wall. Sharing a bed was a bigger challenge to him. It was especially harder because he actually cared about you.

He had been listening to your breathing the entire time, not one moment had passed where he lost track of your breaths. You rolled over, looking at Kaz's back. You could tell he wasn't asleep then, noticing the shallow breaths of an awake man. "Can't sleep either?" you asked quietly. Kaz rolled over to face you.

"It appears insomnia has caught the best of me." He lied. You chuckled, looking at the ceiling. "It's hard to share a bed for me too," You admitted. "I uhm... I usually was forced to share. So..." your voice trailed off. "I can move-" "No! no I didn't mean it like that. I just.." You sighed. "I'm not used to being in a bed with someone I don't hate." you said.

Kaz put his hand over yours. "I hope you don't hate me." He said softly. You gave the sweetest smile that melted Kaz's heart. "I could never hate you." You said. "If only you knew" he thought to himself. "The blood on my hands, the horrible things I've done would make you hate me"

You held his hand, looking at him. You could see Kaz's mind wandering, something you had seen occasionally. Despite the many beliefs that people had over him, Kaz was human just like anyone else. He had fears, he had insecurities. Yes, he was a cocky asshole at times but he was like that to survive. You knew inside Kaz had to be scared. Because truth be told, you were too.

You fell asleep just like that. Your hand in his. When you woke up, you heard frantic knocking. Kaz, who clearly wasn't a morning person grumbled as he got dressed and went downstairs. You tiptoed down the stairs to hear the conversation.

"What Jesper?" He asked with a flat tone. "It's Y/n, she's missing!" He said frantically. You cracked a small grin. "She-" "I went to her house to check on her because we all heard the sirens last night and she wasn't there! Kaz do you think she's okay!?" Jesper asked. "She's-" "I fed Lev, Inej is out looking-" "Jesper, she is here." Kaz said.

Jesper blinked. "What do you mean she's here?" Jesper asked. "She slept over last night." Kaz sighed. Jesper peaked behind Kaz to see the couches and saw nothing. "It doesn't look like anyone slept here." Jesper said. "She's upstairs, she's fine." Kaz sighed.

Jesper let out a sigh. "Is this your way of saying you two are finally together?" Jesper asked. Kaz said nothing, just simply closed the door in his face. Rather than knock, Jesper did that annoying thing that always worked to get Kaz to open a door. He took his index finger and repeatedly tapped loudly.

"tap tap tap"

Kaz walked towards the stairs and you slowly rose.

"tap tap tap"

Kaz stopped, sighing loudly as he marched back to the door. He opened it and Jesper had what could only be described as a "shit eating grin" on his face.

"I will take your revolvers and shoot you with them." Kaz spat. "So you two are together then? Finally! It's about time one of you said something! Inej owes me five kruge." Jesper said proudly. "We are not together Jesper, and if you wish to remain alive, you will leave." Kaz said. Then it hit him. "Wait you two have a bet going over this!?" "You know it is incredibly early, I should go. Bye boss!" Jesper said running off.

"He knows how to leave people annoyed." You said, Kaz sighing. He ran a hand over his face before looking at you." Would you like breakfast?" He asked, closing the door. You rose a brow. "Sure. Where are we going?" you asked. "I have eggs I need to use." he said, walking into his kitchen.

He looked up to see you gaping. "What?" He asked. "You're going to cook?" You asked. "Why is this a shock?" He asked, grabbing a pan. "I don't know- I just assumed you couldn't cook- I mean I can't, which in hindsight is stupid but--" "Wait." Kaz held up his hand to stop you. "You can't cook?" He asked. "No. I have a tendency to burn... Everything." You admitted. "Well, I will teach you to not do that." He said, motioning for you to stand by him. You didn't move. "What?" He asked. "Are you sure you? You seem to like your home-"

He walked over, pushing you over to the kitchen table and stood next to you. You watched him carefully as he cracked an egg. He handed you one. "You try." he said.

You hesitated but tried, some of the shell falling in. "Damn." you sighed. "Here, let me show you." He said taking another egg. He used the edge of the table to crack the egg, using his thumbs to pry it open carefully. He handed you another egg. "We're going to waste a lot of eggs." you said. "It was this or throw them at Jesper while he's not looking. Kaz teased. You chuckled. "And here I thought you liked Jesper." You said.

"Oh I do. I consider him a friend. When, y'know he's not constantly pestering me about my love life." Kaz said. You cracked the egg just as Kaz did. "See, I knew you'd get it." He said. You smiled at him as he grabbed a small jug of milk. "Milk?" you asked confused. "Makes them fluffier." he said. You grinned. "You cook often, don't you?" You asked. "Sometimes." He shrugged.

You watched him add salt and pepper mixing the eggs in a bowl. He walked to his stove, motioning for you to stand in front of it. "Kaz, are you sure you want me near fire--" "I will be right here." He said. You sighed and walked over. "Now, we're making them scrambled." He said handing you a spatula. "I will burn your house down." you warned. "Y/n." "Fine! You've been warned. Goodbye kitchen, you were pretty to look at!" you said, taking the spatula dramatically.

Kaz smiled as you watched the eggs. "What am I supposed to be doing?" You asked. "You see how it's raised right there?" he asked, pointing at an egg with a fork. "Yeah?" You asked. "The goal is for all of them to look like that." he said. "Well, I get the goal but how to do I accomplish the goal?" you asked, not removing your eyes from the pan. He chuckled, watching you stare at the pan.

"You could ease up-" "If I do I start a fire." You said. He chuckled again but picked up your hand gently. Your heart started pounding as he guided you through the process. Not a word he was saying went to you, the only thing you could hear was his breath on your ear. What you didn't realize was the angle that he was holding your hand allowed him access to feel your pulse. He rose a brow, noticing the red on your ears that typically came from you being flustered.

He said nothing though, continuing to speak. You finally tuned back in as he flipped off the stove. "And you just made eggs." He said. "I did?" You asked. He grinned at your confusion, pointing to the pan. "Holy crap I did! And your house is intact!" You said relieved. "Who was the last person to taught you how to cook?" He asked with a small chuckle. "Jesper." "That explains so much."

The two of you ate, you looking out the window. It was clear something was on your mind. "Is something wrong?" Kaz asked. "Were you finishing that list last night?" You asked. He put down his fork, looking at you. Kaz had a talent for avoiding the truth. With you though, it was almost impossible. "Yes." He admitted. You looked at him with an unreadable expression. "Did you finish it?" You asked. "Almost." He nodded.

There was a silence that seemed excruciating to him. He knew you hated when he did dangerous things alone. You knew the odds were built against the Dregs. Each time you walked out your door, there was a chance you weren't coming home. For Kaz, those odds doubled. His name was infamous to most of Ketterdam. You worried about him everytime you weren't there. "Just... stay safe. Please." You said. He nodded. You sighed. "I should go, Lev needs his walk." You said. He nodded. "If you need me-" "I'll find you." You said, that soft smile gracing your lips again.

You went home, leaving Kaz alone. Kaz had one more name on that list and he planned on crossing it off tonight. He got dressed, grabbing his cane and left.

Your day was slow. No job meant nothing to do. Lev felt boredom, that much was clear as he moped on the stairs. You would have taken him for a walk but the rain didn't seem to let up. You also hated that wet dog smell. So you settled for a book, reading quietly for a while before that even lost its entertaining effect.

You threw on a coat, walking to the club. Drenched didn't begin to describe your appearance as you came in. "How's our little Y/n?" Jesper asked. "Call me that again and that drink goes on your head." You said, sitting at the bar. "You're in a lovely mood." Jesper said. "Well, I'm ready to do a job but it's like Kaz won't assign me anything since..." You sighed. "Have you talked to him about it?" He asked. "No." You muttered. "Then how will it get fixed?" Jesper asked.

Inej walked in, sitting next to you. "Seen Kaz?" She asked. "Haven't seen him since this morning. Why, is he not home?" You asked. "He's not." She said. You rose a brow. "Jesper do you know where he is?" You asked. "...no." Jesper said with a frown. This was never a good sign. When Kaz went somewhere, at least one of you knew where he was going. Then it hit you. You knew exactly where the foolish bastard went and it was on that damn list.

The door to the club opened, Kaz walking in with blood dripping down his forehead. You stood up so quickly that the stool nearly toppled over as you rushed over. "Oh Kaz- what did you do?" You asked, looking at his wound. "You should see the other guy." He said, Jesper walking over. "Why didn't you bring one of us?" Jesper asked. "It was a one man job." He said. His speech seemed slurred. "Kaz, are you concussed?" You asked. "Nooooo! Just a little more wobbly than usual!" He said. Inej and Jesper swapped a look. "Kaz, you need help." Inej said. "Oh my gooooddd I'm fine!" He said. "Kaz, come on." You said. "Where are we going?" He asked. "To get you medical attention." You said. "Why?" He asked. "You're concussed." You said. "No I'm not" he lied.

"Oh my god he's like a giant baby" Jesper said with a chuckle. "Kaz, please just come with me." You said softly. Kaz looked at you. "Fineee. Only because it was you-" he poked your cheek making Inej's jaw drop "that asked." He said. You let out a small snort. "Come on, you big goofball." You said, carefully walking him out.

To say walking a concussed man down a cobblestone street was a challenge would be a large understatement. Kaz for some reason unbeknownst to you had his arm around you, walking like a drunk. "Kaz, are you alright?" You asked. "I am now that you're here" he said. You rolled your eyes, walking into a small (and probably illegal) clinic. "My friend needs help." You said. "What's wrong with him?" A woman asked. "I got hit in me noggin!" He said. "He's- Kaz stay over here- he's concussed." You answered, herding him back over to you after he tried touching something on the wall.

"Nikolai! You've got a patient!" The woman yelled. A man walked out. She explained the situation to him, you trying to ignore Kaz playing with your hair as they talked. "It's so soft." He would say. You looked at the doctor. "What can I do?" You asked. "Come with me, both of you." He said. You walked with Kaz who was now clinging to your side like a child. "Don't let him take off my gloves." He said. "He won't Kaz, you're just hurt is all." You assured softly.

You followed the doctor into a room. "Let me see your head." He said. Kaz held your hand as the doctor examined the gash. He hovered his hand over the wound, the cut seeming to fix himself. Kaz looked at him confused. "Now his head is mending itself. It'll probably be fixed by the morning. In the mean time, he needs to take this-" he handed you a pill "to recover. He's going to out of it for about thirty minutes and then he should fall asleep. Take it when you get home." He said. "Thank you doc." You said softly. "My head feels weirrrrrdd." Kaz said.

You took him back to his place, unlocking the door. "Alright Kaz, come on just a little further." You said, closing and locking the door behind him. He followed you to his room. "You're so good to me, it's strange." He said following you. You sat him on the bed. "Why is that strange?" You asked. "Most people hate me... if you knew the things I've done you'd hate me too." He muttered. You looked at him. "I could never hate the man that freed me." You said softly. He looked at you as you cleared your throat, kneeling to his feet.

"You're so beautiful." He said. "You're concussed Kaz." You said, removing a shoe. "No I'm seri...seri... fuck how do you say that word?" "Serious?" You asked. "Right. That one. I'm sherious." He said. You removed his other shoe. "Do you want to keep the gloves on?" You asked. "You can take them off." He said. You pulled his hands forward, taking one. His other hand drifted to your cheek. "I don't think you know how much I love you." He said. You looked up. "What?"

"You mean the world to me. Nah, the world can bite my ass. You mean the stars to me." He said. You tried to ignore him as you removed a glove. "I want to tell you that all the time but I'm scared" he said. "Of what?" You found yourself asking. "Of you leaving me." He said. He had probably never been this vulnerable with anyone. You took off the other glove, looking at his eyes. They seemed so fixated on you. You cleared your throat, pulling out the medicine. "Here, take this." You said softly. He took it, probably because you were the one that asked him.

"Lay down with me?" He asked. "Okay." You said softly. You laid down on the other side. "Closer." He said. You moved slightly. "Closer." He said again. You moved again. "Closer-" "Kaz if I move again I'm going to be against you." You said. "What if I wanna hold you? Ever think of that?" He asked. You looked at him surprised. "Kaz-" "Pleeeasssee?" He asked. You slowly moved closer snd he pulled you into his arms. Your heart was pounding in your ears. "This is how I wanna be all the time!" He said happily. He looked down at you. "I can feel your heartbeat. Are you dying?" He asked. "No I'm okay Kaz." You said softly. He nodded. "Are you comfy?" He asked. Even concussed he cared about your boundaries.

"Yes Kaz, I'm comfortable." You said with a small smile. "I like it when you smile. It's so pretty." He said. Your smile grew. "Aw, see that. That's amazing right there." He said. You looked up at him. "I love you so much." He said, burying his face in your neck. You closed your eyes. "I love you too Kaz." You said softly. "I'm tired." He muttered. "Then go to sleep." You said softly. "Promise you won't leave?" He asked. "I promise."

When Kaz woke up, he was confused by what was so warm. He opened his eyes, them adjusting to the morning light before he saw you, sound asleep in his arms. He blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing it right, which he was. You shifted before opening your eyes.

Your eyes widened and you jolted back, taking Kaz with you as you fell off the bed. "Morning to you too?" Kaz said confused. "Oh my god- I am so sorry Kaz! Are you alright? Well I'm on top of you of course you're not- Oh my god I need to get up" you rambled before standing up. "What happened last night?" He asked.

"You" You helped him up. "Had a concussion." You said. He blinked, hazy memories setting in. "Oh." He said. "You and I quote 'were hit on me noggin'. So." You quoted. "Oh. I wasn't a pain to deal with, was I?" He asked. "Well you-" wait. He didn't remember. "No, you just complimented me a bit." You lied. Kaz could tell you were withholding something. "How's your head?" You asked. "Better." He nodded. "Good. So now I can tell you how absolutely STUPID IT WAS TO GO ALONE!" You said. Kaz jumped. "Even if you wanted to protect me, you should've taken Inej or Jesper or hell borrow my dog! Don't go alone again!" You said.

"Y/n I'm fine--" "Coming back concussed does not constitute as fine!" You huffed. "The job is done, what is the big deal!?" Kaz asked, getting up. "You could have died Kaz. We could've lost you- I could have lost you!" You said. "Y/n I'm fine, I'm alive, I'm okay!" He said. "I can't lose you Kaz!" You finally said.

Memories of the night flooded back. "...Oh." he realized. "I care about you too much-" "You love me." He realized. You looked at him shocked. "I-I" "and I told you that I loved you." He said. You looked at the wall, tears of frustration building in your eyes. "Y/n... I understand that I was reckless and I'm sorry. I know you love me too much to see me hurt." He said. You swallowed the lump in your throat. "But I love you too." He said, stepping towards you. You stepped back with your eyes wide. "I-I can't Kaz." You said. He looked broken down.

"If you knew the things that I've done-" "I love you regardless Y/n." He halted. You looked scared. "But what if I'm too much- what if-" he held your hands. "You could never be too much for me Y/n." He assured. Tears flooded your vision. "Why can't I say it?" You asked. He chuckled. "You don't need to." He said softly. "I-I want to" you said. "Kaz I-" you hesitated, though you didn't know why. "I-I" you could feel his breath as his lips hovered over "I love you" you said softly.

He kissed you, you melting in his arms as he did. He had never felt such intense happiness before. You pulled away looking at him. "Is something wrong?" He asked softly. "No, I just... I want to remember this." You said. He smiled kissing you again.

The next day, you sat next to Inej in the club, Jesper drinking beside her. "So was taking care of Kaz difficult?" Inej asked. "No, though he did stare at a painting for a bit." You said with a shrug. "He was out of it when he was here." Jesper said. "Oh it was even worse at the doctor's office. He told them he 'got hit in his noggin'." You said making Jesper laugh. "Oh I would've paid to have seen that.

Kaz sat next to you and you smiled. "Hi." You greeted. "Hello." He said with that same smile. Inej and Jesper both looked at you. "Alright, so you two definitely fucked." Jesper said. You choked on your drink. "By the saints Jesper!" You coughed. "Nah, something is going on here. You two have got that look." Jesper said. "Jesper, were you perhaps dropped on your head as a child?" Kaz asked. "No! At least not that I'm aware- forget that! I'm telling you, come clean now and it'll be easier later." He said. "We literally have no clue what you're talking about." Kaz said. "No, it's other wise you two did something or I'm drunk!" He said. "Jesper you've had six drinks. You're drunk." You said. "Nooo- well maybe... shit maybe I am drunk." He said making you laugh. "Mm. I have a job I need to discuss with you." Kaz said. "Kay." You said, following him.

Kaz closed the door to his office behind him. "So did you actually have a job or did you just want to see me?" You asked. "Hm. Which would you like better?" He asked, pulling you close. You smiled, kissing him. He smiled against your lips before stopping. "Hello Inej." He said, looking past you. "So Jesper was right" Inej said making you jump. Kaz kept his hand by your waist. "Mhm. Though we're not letting him know that, we'd never hear the end of it." Kaz said. "Oh I agree. Though I never thought you two would sort your shit out long enough to actually be together." Inej shrugged. "Rude." You said. "Well I'll leave you two to do... whatever it is you were doing. Just... try not to leave the office too wrecked or else Jesper will actually figure it out, regardless of alcohol consumption. "Inej said, walking out.

You let out a small laugh and Kaz wrapped his hands around your waist with a smile. "Do me a favor?" He asked. "Anything." You said softly. "Lock the door"

#kaz x you #kaz x y/n #kaz x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

Text

Gorgeous (Kaz x fem!reader)

Summary: you get very drunk after being kidnapped and admit something to Kaz.

Trigger warnings: implications of SA, drunken antics

Jesper was beyond exasperated with you. For whatever reason you had drank yourself past your typical cut off point and put yourself into a stupor. You kept throwing back drink after drink until he finally cut you off. You had been so strange after one mission where you winded up being held captive. Kaz and Jesper retrieved you and by the time Jesper had found you, Kaz was standing over six bodies and you looked relieved by his presence. Jesper didn't find that odd, no not in Ketterdam. What he did find odd was your newfound avoidance to go home.

Kaz had finally walked through the door and Jesper ran over. "Kaz, thank the saints." He said relieved. "Didn't take you as religious." Kaz said, walking. "Well- not the point. Y/n is drunk-" Alarm bells went off in Kaz's mind. "She's drunk?" He asked. "Yes-" "she's never drunk." Kaz said, his grip tightening around his cane. "I know that. For some reason she's on this drinking binge and-" Kaz walked over to the bar, seeing play with a peanut shell. "Y/n." Kaz said.

"Kazzz!" You said, drawing out his name. Red graced your cheeks and it became glaringly obvious you were three sheets to the wind. Kaz lifted the empty glass in front of you, sniffing it. Whiskey flooded his sense of smell, making him stifle a cough. "I have been having sooo mush fun!" You said, Kaz raising a brow. You leaned towards him, Kaz moving back slightly. "Your eyez are so pretty!" You said, slurring as you did.

Kaz looked at you surprised. You never paid anyone a compliment, in fact you rarely said anything. "Words are secrets to a fools heart" you once said to him. Kaz didn't mind your quiet demeanor. It was what made you deadly.

To Kaz though, you were more than just a pretty face that could kill. You had this special way of making Kaz actually enjoy your presence. To many, you were an infamous figure. To him you were a beautiful storm.

You reached out your index finger, tapping his nose. Jesper was surprised you didn't lose your hand doing that action. "You are soooo cuttteee!" You giggled. No one had ever said he was cute. Deadly? All the time. An idiot? Most of the time that came from Inej when Kaz narrowly avoided death. Cute, however was unheard of as a category to describe him.

He grasped your hand and pulled it down to the table. "Y/n, we should get you home." He said. "Nooo!" You whined. "Why not?" He asked. "I don't wanna be alone!" You said. "You won't be alone, I'll be there." Kaz said. You looked almost... scared at the idea of going home. "Promise?" You muttered. "Yes. Now come on." He said. You nearly hit the floor, stumbling forward as you got up. Kaz gripped your arms to keep you in place. You looked as Jesper with a grin. "See you tomorrow buddy!" You said giving him finger guns. Inej, who just walked in nearly broke down laughing at the sight.

Kaz had to basically herd you out the door like a common sheep dog. You stumbled outside, Kaz finally putting his hand on your waist when you were out of sight of the gang. "Don't let them near me..." you mumbled. Kaz looked at you. "What?" He asked. "The Lions..." you mumbled. "Y/n, we're just going home, they won't find-" "thass how they got me last time" you said.

Kaz now had it click into place. You didn't feel safe at home anymore. Not after the Dime Lions managed to kidnap you. You stopped, Kaz looking over to see your eyes light up. "Puppy!" You said, seeing a stray dog. You rushed over, kneeling to it and petting it behind the ears. "Ohhh you're so sweettt! Whos a good boy! You! You are!" You slurred. Kaz couldn't help but crack a grin at the sight as he walked over to you and the dog. "Thas Kaz. He's gorgeous isn't he?" You "whispered" to the dog. Right now you were so drunk that your sense of volume was broken. What was a whisper to you was basically normal speech to Kaz.

"He is so good to me. Provides me with a job. Food. And I get to look at his pretty face everyday." You said. Kaz's grin grew. "Ah fuck I'm in love aren't I" you realized. Kaz froze. Sure, there was some undeniable chemistry between the two of you but this... this was big.

"You can't tell anyone. Issa secret. Shhhh!" You said to the dog. Kaz swallowed hard, staring at you. "Y/n we should... we should go." He said. You looked over your shoulder. "Kay. Bye doggy!" You said, walking back to Kaz. He couldn't take his eyes off you as you walked. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved you back. It was just telling you that that was the challenge. Plus, with your current level of intoxication, he didn't think it wise to say something you wouldn't remember.

You walked into your apartment, Kaz walking in behind you was you leaned against the doorway to your living room. You took off your boots and Kaz looked around, seeing the overturned chair and clearly moved table. "Did someone break in?" He asked. "Yeah. Lass week when I got kidnapped." You shrugged. Kaz looked at you confused. "You didn't set it back?" He asked. You looked at the chair and frowned, eyes distant. "I shouldn't have let my guard down." You muttered before walking upstairs. Kaz put a hand on the chair. "Leave it" you said, not turning to see him.

He stopped, following you up the stairs and watched you lay down. "Oooooh bad choice, really bad choice!" You said, abruptly getting back up and running to the bathroom. Kaz hesitated but followed you in, pulling back your hair as you threw up.

You groaned. "Drugs are bad, don't do them" you said, leaning back onto your wall behind you. Kaz rose a brow, seeing you eye him. You seemed tired and out of it. You shook your head with a sad laugh. "I muss be seriously fucked up to be hallucinating you" you breathed. He frowned. "I'm not a hallucination." He said. You chuckled. "You can't be real." You said. "What makes you say that?" He asked, looking at you. "Cuz you'd never hold my hair while I throw up. And you wouldn't have followed me home in the firss place." You declared. Kaz opened his mouth but you spoke again "My bess guess is that Jesper actually took me home. My mind juss likes you so much that" you tapped his nose again, him looking down at your finger as you did it "your gorgeous face iz juss what I see."

Kaz didn't understand the drunk logic but it seemed he couldn't convince you. You looked vacantly at the ceiling, sighing. "If you aren't real... then I have some things I wanna get off my chest." You said. "I don't think that's a wise idea-" "Sober me would tell the real you these things anyway. Iss only a matter of time." You said. Kaz hated the idea of you not truly consenting to having information shared with him, but it seemed you were deadset on telling him something.

"I wasn't juss attacked that night." You admitted. Kaz looked at you shocked. He knew there was a reason you wouldn't let Jesper touch you that night. He has tried to comfort you, put an arm around you but you put a blade to his neck with a face of fear the second he touched you. It appeared the only person you were fine with was Kaz. "I was going to be killed. That sick fuck that took me asked for my lass words." You said. Kaz watched you look at him. "I asked you for help." You said, clearer than any other speech during the night. No messups, no slurring. Just brutal honesty that was killing Kaz inside.

You put so much faith in him. In your last moments instead of cursing out the man that tortured you or praying to a random saint, you chose to ask Kaz for help. And it worked. That man, the second he found out you were taken, moved heaven and hell to find you. Jesper had never seen someone so panicked. No one's absence would have riled Kaz up that badly. Jesper knew then and there that Kaz would watch the world burn if it meant you'd be safe in the end.

Kaz held your hand and you looked over, a tear sliding down your face. "I'm so scared Kaz." You whispered. He brushed the tear away as you slowly laid your head in his lap. You cried yourself to sleep that night and that nearly killed him inside to see you like that. He played with your hair to get you to sleep faster, which worked.

As the sun rose, Kaz slowly got up. He went downstairs and set everything back the way it should've been and then he saw something odd out the window. The stray dog from last night had followed you home, sleeping outside your door. Then an idea clicked in his head.

You woke up on the floor, confirming your drunk thought that Kaz from last night wasn't real. However his scent was present in the house, which did confuse you. You heard something downstairs and you quickly snatched a blade from under your sink, rushing downstairs to see Kaz. And a... dog?

Kaz turned to see you with the knife and blinked. "I-I thought I was alone." You breathed. "No, uhm... It appears your friend from last night followed us." He said. There was a dog there with his tail wagging. Friend? You didn't recall a dog at all last night. "I don't remember a dog being present last night." You said. "Well you ran up to him last night." Kaz shrugged. You looked confused as Kaz stepped closer to you, taking the knife from your hand. "You are safe when I am here Y/n." He assured.

It felt like a flicker of a memory from last night. You remembered some sort of conversation. "What uhm.. what did I say last night?" You asked. "You didn't say anything too interesting. I mean, besides calling me gorgeous many times." He said. Your face flushed pink and you cleared your throat. "What should we do with the dog?" You asked. Kaz grinned at your slight embarrassment. "I was thinking you'd keep him. He already seems to like you. Plus it'd alert you to danger." He said. You kneeled to the dog and pet him from behind the ears.

You had that smile. That smile that would come out every so often whenever you thought you weren't being watched. Kaz was one of the lucky few that got to see it every so often. "I think I like that idea." You said. Kaz nodded. You looked past him. "You fixed the kitchen?" You asked. "And changed your locks." He said, handing you a key. You took it, looking at him. "Kaz uhm..." he waited for you to talk. "Why are you being so... nice? I mean... why do all this?" You asked. "Because I don't want you to feel scared in your own home." He said.

You looked down at the dog. There was a sadness in your eyes. "I will always come for you Y/n. If you are in trouble and need me, I will be there." He said. You looked at him and another drunk memory flickered. "I mentioned what happened to me, didn't I?" You asked. Kaz nodded. You sighed, sitting on your couch. "I must've sounded like a child." You said. "Not at all." He said, sitting in a chair next to you. The dog laid his head on your lap. "You should fire me. Tell me to leave Ketterdam." You muttered. "Why would I do that?" He asked. "Because you don't pay me to be scared. You- you don't pay me to get drunk or pay me to have you take me home!" You said.

Kaz frowned. "I pay you because you are good at what you do Y/n." He said. "I was kidnapped and had to have you save me. And I reacted afterwards like a child--" "You were hurt and confused Y/n. It wasn't your fault." He said, looking at you. "Yes. It was." You breathed. Kaz took both of your hands into his. When he slipped off those gloves, you didn't know but you were now holding his hands. His soft, beautiful hands. "It wasn't your fault. It never was. They took you because they knew you were vulnerable to me. If anything, what happened was my fault." He said softly.

You trusted this man with your whole being, body and soul. Right now it felt like he was showing you that he trusted you just as much. You'd follow this man to war, you'd sacrifice everything if it meant he'd be safe. You loved him more than anything. You didn't know how to vocalize that to him. You didn't know if you should vocalize that to him.

"I'm only a block away if you need me. All it takes is you calling my name." He said softly. Your heart was melting at his words. You swallowed hard, staring into his eyes when there was a knock on the door. You and Kaz jumped, Kaz immediately sliding his gloves back on. The dog barked and you hesitantly opened the door to see Jesper.

"Thank the saints. You made it home okay?" He asked. You nodded. "Mm. You should really decorate in here, it's kind of... plain." He said. You rolled your eyes. "What do you want Jesper?" You asked. "Y'know, you're a lot more friendly when you're drunk. Isn't that right Kaz?" Jesper asked. Kaz, who was now standing behind you rolled his eyes as well. "I am here to make sure you got home alright- is that a dog?" Jesper asked, seeing the dog by your leg. "Yes." You sighed. "What's his name?" Jesper asked, kneeling to his level. "He doesn't have one yet." You muttered. "Mm. I think Lev is a good name." He said. You said nothing, watching Jesper pet him.

"Well, you're checked on. Kaz is accounted for. All is right in the world and I can go home." Jesper declared before standing up to leave. "Oh and Y/n, don't think you're living down the whole 'gorgeous' thing. Or the fact that you were basically my best friend for the night." He said. "I'm really wishing I killed you when I got the chance." You said making him roll his eyes before he walked out. You closed the door almost immediately and locked it.

"How has that man not been murdered yet?" You asked. "I ask that question to myself everytime he opens his mouth." Kaz said making you smile. You slowly turned to Kaz. "Thanks for taking care of me." You said softly. He nodded. "Anytime." He said. "Really? Because I was thinking of going on another binge-" "Y/n." He said, rolling his eyes. You chuckled. "I appreciate you, thank you." You said. He nodded, reaching for the door. "Y/n. If you need me, come find me. Don't hesitate to ask." He said. You nodded slowly and watched as he finally left.

The feeling of dread returned soon after. You were alone, again. Not completely though, seeing as you now had a dog. You kneeled to the dog, sighing. "Kaz is a good man. We want him. But..." you pet the dog, looking at him with a sad look.

"We can't have him."

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows

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