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poems-4-daze · 1 year

Text

Present

It’s funny

watching the time pass on

the antique Grandfather clock,

ticking away as it

sits in the same place he’s always been.

Collecting grey dust and

his brown luster fading from the sun,

Showing off his true age and wisdom.

I can’t help but

Believe that Grandfather

clock feels his pendulum warm

while thinking back

on our past.

Seeing me older,

as he’s watched me mature

into the young woman I’ve become.

In a way he raised me as his own.

Always making sure

I was on time for school,

my swim practices,

Job interviews,

And meetings.

To never be late.

To always be punctual.

It feels as if the time

he’s kept track all these years

has gone by too fast

for both our likings.

Grandfather clock always

watched over us, you know.

So it’s no surprise that he asks me

Where you are

How you’re doing.

It hurts me that

I can’t bring myself

to answer him.

Of course grandfather

is worried.

He watched over us

all the time when

we were children.

Like when we

Played house,

looked for fairies, or

When you saved me from

evil dragons..

I hope you know

That time I spent

with you felt like

time froze over.

It makes me wonder

If that was

Grandfather's doing,

his own way of telling

us that we would be together

in the long run.

That I was going to be

with you

forever

But I,

We,

took his blessing of time

for granted.

I continue to talk with Grandfather clock,

Avoiding his questions of and about you.

a few stray tears leave my eyes

Cascading down my face

Not going unnoticed by Grandfather clock.

I look at his time that reads 10:09

and I notice that Grandfather is smiling.

His own way of telling me that he knows.

Knows that you’re no longer by my side

like when we were children

when you promised me forever.

You’re really gone.

The ticking of Grandfather clock

Had finally stopped

Forever reading

the time 10:10

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poems-4-daze · 2 years

Text

10 minutes

Before I walk into the room

I whisper to myself

“I know you.”

For reassurance,

Reminding myself that this

will lead to some kind of

conclusion.

I knock once,

Twice,

Three Times.

She answers.

I walk in and I’m instantly

Seated below her

As she sits on her throne.

I’m nothing but a peasant in her eyes.

She insists I speak first,

And I try to reason,

Speaking my truth with

Resonance

Trying to get through

To her.

But nothing resonates and instead

My words reverberate off of her.

My voice carries into silence.

I start to say to myself

“I knew you.”

As the conversation resumes

I recognize her less and less.

My once loud voice

Starts to dwindle

My voice no longer has the strength,

To try and reason with her.

She takes notice of this

and talks over me.

I’m nothing to her.

And I finally say

“I don’t know you.”

As the conversation dies

And all memories lost,

Everything I thought I knew

Was carried with the wind.

As I look up to meet her eyes

For the last time

I realize

I was talking to a wall,

The entire time.

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poems-4-daze · 2 years

Text

Ghost

I can’t love you.

I just can’t.

Though every time our eyes meet, it feels like everything is in slow motion.

I say that it’s from the lack of sleep,

But it’s only when I’m with you.

I hate how I’ve started to notice your little quirks.

Like when you laugh at me, you hide your laugh with a cough.

When you get nervous, I’ve noticed that you rub the back of your neck

And your face is dusts with hints of red on the tips of your ears and cheeks.

When you smile at me or someone else,

your smile is a little bit crooked, but it suits you.

I hate how you were always there for me.

You hugged me when I had a bad day.

You would stay up late with me till I fell asleep.

You were there when I felt like I had no one.

I hate the fact that I know you don’t love me,

but I can’t stop the quick beat of my heart when you talk to me.

Every conversation we had

Lead to late night cries into my pillow at night.

You don’t know this.

And you can’t know this.

I don’t want to lose you,

Yet I want to risk everything for you, but

You can't know how much I truly care about you

Because I see the way you look at her…

Whenever she walks in a room,

Your eyes sparkle like stars in the night sky,

And I became envious.

Envious of the way her name falls from your lips like honey.

Envious that you’re wishing on every falling star

For her…

Even though I’m right in front of you.

Yet, You don’t see me…

This is why I hate you…

Because you were the one who made me this way…

All because I do,

love you.

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