A VP at my workplace ate me out and that’s the first time a man has made me cum… he’s 19 years older than me but whatever

Shania Twain has my heart and I hope she never lets it go 🤩🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m glad I was stupid enough to spend $100k on the shitty American education system that has me living paycheck to paycheck in a shitty apartment in a city with polluted as hell air cause corporate America instead of spending $250k to go on an off brand submarine IR video game so I could tell my buddies I’m an explorer extraordinaire :)

No sympathy for the dumb phucks, mate

Oh, Keanu Reeves???

I guess I have a type or something 🤷🏼‍♀️ if you would’ve told me 20 years ago that these two are the same person, I would believe you

I just need one pic of these two actually physically sensually so close

I had to 😂

Umm Ms. Fran I can’t take it anymore

Guys… Mr Big is the worst kisser in history, he never moves his lips or even parts his lips in the slightest, Carrie is always doing all the work and I don’t know how she puts up with that shit

Yo… SJP… for a skinny girl you’ve got one phat ass 🤩

Sarah Jessica Parker

The College Years (on Wattpad) 

Listen, I don’t know how many people are that into the Jerry and Elaine ship, but if you are, here’s something for you. This is only the first part, it’s a story in progress, I hope you all like it :)

https://www.wattpad.com/story/317579232-the-college-years?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=megadrone6&wp_originator=T7DRMrt6hI2DtYbrwndvJg%2FLBr6t%2BYlPj4%2FZMZmfM6HYlkiZj1%2Bl61CAEVcosJG1Bx4qroee2Nd1doAOYd6%2FsSCqzOUAgSnKUerImfDskgA86NraNbUzKj0VwoWvuXM1

I’m writing a Jerry x Elaine fan fiction about them meeting in college. Does anyone want to be the first of few readers of at least the first chapter and let me know what you think?

My new dream job is to become a sound engineer for debates involving any major political topic so when the arrogance starts spewing out I can just pull the plug out and go ”Oopsie, looks like it’s broken and can’t be fixed 👉🏻👈🏻” how funny would that be

So many people, so much hate, so much crime, so divided, each day something tragic and historical happens, the price of living isn’t livable and hasn’t been since 2009, gave my life of financial freedom away to an institution that just validated that I can be professional, nothing else, no one dates for friendship anymore, just sex and to not be alone, I’m tired.

I wanna have hot, steamy, romantic, think about it for the next week(three months) type of sex right now. Any takers?

I’d gladly let Selina Meyer use me as a seat… god damn that ass is 🥵

On another note, there needs to be a facial cleanser brush that gently sprays water out of it. I’m tired of rinsing my face with my hands over a tiny sink and getting water down my arms and onto the counter and floor. Not only will it rinse my face, but it’ll rinse the brush too. Is this a thing already?