My friend sent me this.

J: he is getting more violent every day!

Booty Sculpter

Yes. I responded to a message from a booty sculpter. What can possibly go wrong with a user name with booty in the title? And misspelling sculptor. Nothing. That's what.

I do like dinner...

Just no.

Internet dating sites. STFU.

Ugh

BRING ME ALL THE SALMON!!!

Gun & booze. What could possibly go wrong?

0% match. I think we're going to be super compatible.

Now I know we ladies love our cupcakes and everything, but it never occurred to me that some would go so far as to sext one.

Ladies Love Delicious Cupcakes

There's nothing more Jewish than dating an Asian girl.

Rabbi // The Mindy Project

I like a persistent guy. And I like uchi even more. And the HBO GO app!?!? JACKPOT!

The Weird and Wonderful World of Online Dating

I went on a coffee turned pizza date last night. I agreed to not blog about the guy since I dumbly told him about OkKatie.

  Just a couple of musings about online dating: It’s such a strange phenomenon to meet someone online, get to know them enough to want to meet them in person, and then  finally face to face be able to read facial cues, pick up on body language, and hear the person laugh.

I know I am guilty of this, but when emailing or texting with someone, I add the tone I *think* they’re communicating with. Naturally, this has bitten me on the ass when I’ve misconstrued something as curt or bitchy when the person was just busy. It’s nice to meet someone and pick up on their cadence, tone, and even get a feel for the sense of humor.

Sometimes with online dating, I feel as though I’m interviewing the person. I might know a little bit about their lives, but just on a superficial level. It turns in to questions like this, “So, you have siblings. Where are you in the birth order? Oh… a middle child? How does that make you feel?” Sometimes I channel Oprah and feel that I’m privy to *extra* insight because I read one book on birth order and the alleged impacts on the individual. Okay, I lied, I didn’t read the whole book.

What’s the appropriate way to end a first encounter? In my younger (sluttier) days it might have just been to jump on him and stick my tongue down his throat, but I am older, wiser, and above all a lady. I’m going to guess a high five isn’t adequate, right? Okay. Well, I’ll work on that.

"We need to combine powers." Say what?

Asian persuasion with a dash of Spanish

Shut up tinder. I can't even deal. Why!?!?! I'm looking for a dude! Whyyyyyyyyyy?!