nobutsiriuslywhat
Here there be raptors...and cookies.
30, old enough to know better, New England.
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this morning my starbucks is all women, so when i ordered it was all “i love your glasses!” “that drink is soooo good” “have a great day babe!” which is amazing showstopping incredible BUT yesterday the same starbucks was staffed by all guys and my interaction went kind of like this:
first guy, unprompted: we’re trying to help john name his scorpion
his coworker, leaning around him: here’s a list of names you should vote or write your own
me: …..what
john: AGGRESSIVELY SHOWS ME PICTURE OF BABY SCORPION
#dude#at my starbucks#the customers will hold the door open randomly for me#and be like#have a great day!#bitch what
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Hey guys… I hate to do this yet again, but we came up a little short last month, and I need to buy groceries.
I had enough to pay for everything else, but our grocery budget suffered.
We need about $300 because we’ve been eating out of what we already had bought and I’m down to dried lentils and beans. :( I’ve got three kids to feed, as well as myself and my husband, so please help if you can.
I can’t do much, but, if you’d like a short ficlet, I could write a 300 word for a $3 donation, or if you’d like a 500 word, you can donate $5 directly to my paypal: paypal.me/dresupi.
My commission information, including ships is here: https://dresupi.tumblr.com/commissions. For now, I’m only offering 300 or 500 word ficlets, so please don’t request anything longer. I want to be able to write it right away for you. Message me on here if you’re interested in a commission ficlet.
I’ll take this down when/if we reach the goal. Please share even if you can’t help. I thank you whole-heartedly for any help you can provide. Thank you thank you thank you. So so much! <3
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I'm glad you're back!! No prompt from me, just a hi!!
aww HI!!!! glad to (sorta) be back. I have some breathing room now that I finally got my Bachelor’s
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I’m 2 episodes into good omens and I just wanted to know if it’s a thing in fandom to go ‘thanks Crowley’ whenever something is minorly inconvenient. Cause I think it should be.
Well now it is.
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PROMPTS
Hey guys, long time no tumbl. I’m looking to dip my toes back into fic writing now that school is over. Huge props to @rosiedeplume for helping me come up with a way to get me some prompts. Those sweet, sweet prompts.
If you would like one (no guarantees on how long it’ll be and I have, obviously, the right to refuse to write something).
**Darcy-centric (pairing included, or brotp included, please be clear if you want a non-pairing).
**An event, quote, three words, weird pet name, whatever you want in it (you can request all of them and we’ll all be surprised at what comes out).
**If you do NOT want something NSFW please explicitly (HA) tell me.
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FLOOFY DINOSAURS
been thinkin about floofy T-rexes. Not completely accurate by any means, but a fun doodle anyway~
(ps. they’re girlfriends)
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Darcy gets a Valentine’s Day card...in March?
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Prompt List of Sarcasm
“Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.”
“Define normal.”
“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”
“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”
“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”
“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”
“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”
“And you wonder why you’re still single.”
“Remind me to kill you. Please.”
“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”
“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”
“Were you dropped on your head?”
“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”
“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”
“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”
“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”
“If I survive, can I go home?”
“My middle finger salutes you.”
“This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.”
“I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.”
“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”
“Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.”
“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”
“Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”
“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”
“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”
“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”
“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”
“I need therapy after this.”
“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”
“I’m not weird. I am limited edition.”
“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”
“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”
“If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.”
“You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?”
“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”
“I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.”
“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”
“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”
“Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!”
“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”
“You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”
“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”
“The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”
“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”
“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”
“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”
“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”
“Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.”
“You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.”
“What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.”
“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”
“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”
“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”
“This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.”
“A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.”
“Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.”
“I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.”
“You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.”
“What you call insanity, I call inspiration.”
“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”
“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”
“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”
“I like you. You’re different.”
“You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”
“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”
“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”
“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”
“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”
“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”
“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”
“I care so little, I almost passed out.”
“Well behaved woman rarely make history.”
“You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.”
“The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”
“You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.”
“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”
“How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.”
“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”
“Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.”
“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.”
“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”
“Have fun being deal.” “I will.”
“Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.”
“It’s called thinking. Go with it.”
“I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.”
“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”
“I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.”
“The girl is strange no question.”
“Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.”
“I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.”
“You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.”
“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”
“I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.”
“I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.”
“If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”
“I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”
“Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.”
“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”
“You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?”
“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”
“My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.”
“I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.”
“My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.”
“She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.”
“And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.”
“Such big evil in such a little thing.”
“Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?”
“What does not kill you will likely try again.”
“Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.”
“And hello to you too… little homewrecker.”
“I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.”
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.”
“What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”
“In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.”
“I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.”
“Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.”
“This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”
Request [x] Masterlist [x]
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my instagram
#photography#photoblr#nature#water#lake#i do sell prints#message me if interested#instagram#pond#outdoors
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500 Followers!!!
What?!?! That snuck right up on me!
It’s almost fitting that this particular milestone comes within a week of my announcement that I’ll be posting my fic exclusively to the Archive from now on. smh
ANYWAY, I still feel like celebrating, but I’m under the weather. So I’ll only be writing ONE fic to celebrate this milestone, but I’m taking suggestions via prompt.
My Ask Box is open! Send me an interesting prompt! It can be a single word, a sentence, a quote, a song, a painting, a photo, a scent, WHATEVER.
Include a pairing/trio/quad/etc. with your prompt—the pairings/groupings I’m most likely to write are pretty obvious, if you check my profile under the same name on AO3, but you can always message me before submitting to be sure.
Include a genre, if you like. Angst, kidfic, humor, romance, suspense, something else? Whatever you like! I like to dabble! Surprise me!
It’s totally okay to submit more than one prompt!
But I’ll only be choosing ONE prompt to write over this long weekend, so take my advice: either make it good, make it stand out, make it fun, or keep it simple. Those are the prompts I like best.
Happy prompting!
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Unusual Asks
Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?
is your room messy or clean?
what color are your eyes?
do you like your name? why?
what is your relationship status?
describe your personality in 3 words or less
what color hair do you have?
what kind of car do you drive? color?
where do you shop?
how would you describe your style?
favorite social media account
what size bed do you have?
any siblings?
if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?
favorite snapchat filter?
favorite makeup brand(s)
how many times a week do you shower?
favorite tv show?
shoe size?
how tall are you?
sandals or sneakers?
do you go to the gym?
describe your dream date
how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?
what color socks are you wearing?
how many pillows do you sleep with?
do you have a job? what do you do?
how many friends do you have?
whats the worst thing you have ever done?
whats your favorite candle scent?
3 favorite boy names
3 favorite girl names
favorite actor?
favorite actress?
who is your celebrity crush?
favorite movie?
do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?
money or brains?
do you have a nickname? what is it?
how many times have you been to the hospital?
top 10 favorite songs
do you take any medications daily?
what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)
what is your biggest fear?
how many kids do you want?
whats your go to hair style?
what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)
who is your role model?
what was the last compliment you received?
what was the last text you sent?
how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?
what is your dream car?
opinion on smoking?
do you go to college?
what is your dream job?
would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?
do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?
do you have freckles?
do you smile for pictures?
how many pictures do you have on your phone?
have you ever peed in the woods?
do you still watch cartoons?
do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?
Favorite dipping sauce?
what do you wear to bed?
have you ever won a spelling bee?
what are your hobbies?
can you draw?
do you play an instrument?
what was the last concert you saw?
tea or coffee?
Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?
do you want to get married?
what is your crush’s first and last initial?
are you going to change your last name when you get married?
what color looks best on you?
do you miss anyone right now?
do you sleep with your door open or closed?
do you believe in ghosts?
what is your biggest pet peeve?
last person you called`
favorite ice cream flavor?
regular oreos or golden oreos?
chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?
what shirt are you wearing?
what is your phone background?
are you outgoing or shy?
do you like it when people play with your hair?
do you like your neighbors?
do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?
have you ever been high?
have you ever been drunk?
last thing you ate?
favorite lyrics right now
summer or winter?
day or night?
dark, milk, or white chocolate?
favorite month?
what is your zodiac sign
who was the last person you cried in front of?
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a meme that DEFINITELY needed improving. thank you all
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bucky/darcy/natasha. okay with whatever. hmm prompt? Darcy has the sniffles.
Sniffles
Darcy/Bucky/Natasha, T (308 words)
It’d been a long week. Bucky and Nat left on a “simple job” that turned into a complete shit show. They completed the mission, but all those explosions and gunshots meant a lot of paperwork. By the time they finished debrief they were more than ready to head home to Darcy.
Nat led the way into their apartment and tossed her keys onto the side table with practiced ease. Bucky stomped in behind her and shouldered the door shut. He kicked off his heavy boots and nudged them in the general direction of the shoe rack. Nat would nag him later about having things ready for an emergency, but he was too tired to care.
He watched Nat weave around the kitchen island into the living area and stop dead in her tracks. She motioned for him to be quiet, her expression soft as she looked down at the couch. At first Bucky didn’t know what he was looking at, but then he noticed the avalanche of tissues coming from under the old knit blanket Darcy perpetually kept on the couch. And the Darcy-sized lump hidden completely under the blanket.
“She texted,” Nat whispered, kicking some of the mess into a pile. “She said it was just sniffles.”
Bucky snorted. “Yeah, well. I s’pose she didn’t want to worry us.”
Nat shook her head, trying to be irritated but betrayed by her fond smirk. “Think we should move her or just let her sleep?”
“Judging from the cough syrup bottle,” he nodded toward the mostly-empty container on the coffee table, “she’s probably out cold. Let’s get our girl to bed.”
“I’ll bring in some water if you’ve got her?” Nat was already halfway into the kitchen so he dropped to one knee and gently pushed his arms under Darcy’s softly snoring form.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “I’ve got her.”
Prompt Me
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“...Gurira beat out Avengers: Infinity War’s Chris Hemsworth, Jurassic World star Chris Pratt, Deadpool 2’s Ryan Reynolds, and her Black Panther co-star, Chadwick Boseman, for the honor.”
“Thank you for affirming that women and girls, when they are given the chance to hang with the boys, can hang with the best of them…”
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Darcyland peeps, Dresupi is having some health issues. If you’ve prompted her, or enjoyed her fics, and you have a dollar or two to toss her way, it would really help out her family. And please reblog to share this as far as you can.
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