neurodivergentbraingoblins
Neurodivergent Brain Goblins
The brain goblins run the show and I'm just along for the ride.
"If you want love, then the love has to come from you" - Bo Burnham
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every now and again i think "surely it can't be that weird for a child to sort things, it has to be something every child does"
and then i remember that my mother finally had an allistic child after two autistic kids in a row and was baffled and annoyed to find out she couldn't just keep him occupied by sticking a box of unsorted buttons in front of him and let him sort them
like my mother thought, exactly like i do sometimes, that surely every child must just sit there and sort whatever is in front of them but no, actually, most of my non autistic peers didn't do this and thought i was a fucking weirdo for doing it
anyway i still struggle to believe that most people don't find deep enjoyment in sitting there and arbitrarily sorting shit. what do they even do if they need to do data entry? do they just suffer? weirdos.
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I got way too drunk last night and let all the emotions in.
Now it's 2am and in sitting in the silence because I have no internet.
Why am I like this?
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The brain goblins are throwing a party right now and refuse to let me go to sleep 🫠
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I am incredibly manic right now the goblins are flipping their shit 😅
There are 3 philosophical debates going on right now.
1. The practicality of the belief in religion
2. The concept of ego - the line between complete detachment of self vs the need for survival
3. Death vs rebirth and where they fit into the cycle of life.
Each debate is its own separate conversation that occasionally overlaps with eachother and then separates back out. I don't even know what goblins are in what conversation let alone what position they take on each thing. I just know it's pure chaos right now 😅
Meanwhile my body is auto pilot trying to work and get chores/errands done.
Someone please send help 🤣🤣😅😅😭😭😭😭😭
#manic#bipolar mania#ADHD induced mania#PMDD#adhd#adhd brain#dissociative system#the goblins are flipping their shit#everything is everywhere and i have no clue whats going on#who is screaming??#why are things on fire??#someone send help please#i havent actually slept in weeks
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If you struggle with substance abuse but not addiction, you still deserve support. If you struggle with suicidality/self harm urges but don't act on it, you still deserve support. If you struggle with psychosis and paranoia but have insight, you still deserve support. If you struggle with anything but are "coping with it," you still deserve support.
You dont need to be in imminent crisis to get help - safety planning, harm reduction, resources, and accommodations. You're still struggling. You're still suffering, You're still at risk/in danger. You deserve better - you need better. Your health and wellbeing matters.
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What frustrates me with being an "out of sight, out of mind" person is that people tend to love suggesting notepads, diaries, apps, lists, anything that you can write reminders in. But my kind of "out of sight, out of mind" extends to that as well. Truly. If it is not in my sight, it is not in my mind. And you know what happens when you close a book or an app? It is not longer in sight.
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“if women want equality then they should be drafted” what if — just hear me out — what if nobody should be drafted. not even *looks behind my shoulder* not even men.
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You are enough. The way you are right now. You are a good enough child, sibling, friend, partner, employee. People are not perfect, everyone is flawed, it's not just you. If you feel like you want to improve in those roles, you can, everyone can improve themselves. Just give yourself some time to improve, you don't have to figure it out all at once. Life is not about performance.
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Sensory issues are the worst because everything SHOULD be fine, but no, the way my hair grows from the follicles in my scalp feel terrible right now
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I know it's an issue that boys are not taught emotional maturity amd women are expected to take care of them but please do not think that therefore it must be true that women ARE taught emotional maturity. Like please take a look at all of our mothers and tell me you honest to god believe that
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Me: covers my ears and rocks back and forth so I don’t have a meltdown
My mother: stop it you look like a special needs kid
Me: glares in autism
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You're not an imposter. If you feel it, it's real. Even if the feeling has layers and is complicated and ambivalent and doesn't make sense. Even if it "sounds stupid". You're allowed to feel your feelings without policing them.
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“use mobility aids if they would make life easier” and “people need to be more informed about the damage mobility aids can do to your body” can and should coexist btw
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"I have autism and ADHD yet I can still do this, you have no excuse !!" Shut up. Not everyone is as functional as you. Not everyone can get a job like you. Not everyone can go through their day to day life like you.
Not everyone is like you.
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