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Not every scar makes you strong.
"Scars on your body show that you have lived"
What good is it if it feels more like death?
"Scars on your heart show that you have loved"
But what does it matter, if you can't offer it
and it's just desiccating in your heart?
Sometimes, the scars are of no good
They just make you suffer till you no longer could.
We keep justifying that it is a lesson we are learning.
We say "Be proud of every scar on your heart,
It is a part of experiencing"
But is it worth the hardship and suffering?
I don't think so, because that is soul reckoning.
Not every scar makes you strong;
Some are just a turmoil for lifelong.
Some are like a million fresh stabs and
Some are deep and addictive like your favourite old song.
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Patience
"Time heals everything"
I hear this saying all the time.
But why is the bruise still fresh?
When it was not a recent crime
I try not to touch the wound,
But I can't control the things around.
Is my maim different from the rest?
Or is my suffering for the best?
How long is it going to take?
Cuz even statues crumble if they're made to wait.
"Time heals everything" as they say;
But I beg to differ, if I may.
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change your life ✨️
feel free to join me in this. I'm going to try to post every day about how I did <3
- get at least 7 consecutive hours of sleep. I've found if I go to sleep and then wake up back for a couple hours and then finish the 8 hours I feel I incredibly unrested. I keep myself accountable by using pokemon sleep which has a great alarm, so I'm looking forward to trying this instead
- read or listen to an audiobook for 30 minutes. literacy is a muscle, and using it is important, but sometimes I can't just sit down and read a book, and audiobooks are great for when I'm cleaning or cooking or folding laundry
- get sun daily. humans are a lot more like plants than you would think and so it is important to get some sun, even when it's a wintery sun that's cold or when it's a blazing furnace. Since I have some mental health issues and am unable to go outside im going to at least open my curtains, and if possible, crack a window to get some fresh air
- start a hobby you can enjoy. this one can be difficult because a lot of things require some sort of financial investment. for me, my hobbies for these six months is going to be writing and annotating books. but being creative is great for the human mind.
- learn to be comfortable alone. honestly this one will be difficult. personally, I live in a studio. privacy is nothing i experience, butthe little moments where you find yourself escaping with TV playing or music pause it and sit with yourself, how else can you learn to love someone if you avoid them 🥰
- meditate daily. this will be something I struggle with so much, but I'm going to try in the mornings since that's my peak time <3 and that's when I plan on doing a yoga flow during the sunrise
- eat healthy nutritious food. I hate cooking and I hate eating. having autism can make these really difficult for me to do, but I'm really really trying. I started the week before last to work on figuring out what snack foods I can prep, and now i just need to work on planning out some meals.
- positive affirmations everyday. I really struggle to have positive self talk because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable because I've been pessimistic for so long, but I want to change that ^^
- reduce screen time. this is going to be specifically targetting mindless scrolling for me. I have a tiktok account that I use for motivation, same with my tumblr account, and I also read on my phone and use my sleep app that I need to keep open at night.
- practice gratitude. my goal is to at night reflect on the day to try and find the good. I already reflect on my days and pick a mood, but I want to create lists of things i am grateful for, especially while I'm in between jobs.
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People have a hard time letting go of their suffering; Because they prefer familiarity of their misery over peace and happiness that is unfamiliar.
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Live a little ✨
Why do you search for cure outside?
When you're broken on the inside.
Why do you keep touching your wound?
If you want it to mend soon.
Why don't you look around?
And see the joy that life can bring.
Or go to a playground,
Take pleasure from every little thing.
I promise, your peace will be profound.
And you'll see how your survival becomes
𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔.
#liveblogging#original poem#poets on tumblr#poem#poetry#writers and poets#aesthetic#dead poets society#nature
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People blame us for how they make us feel.
How ironic is this?
They keep stabbing with a knife and we end up cleaning their hands.
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“Sometimes it is the smallest thing that saves us: the weather growing cold, a child’s smile, and a cup of excellent coffee.”
— Jonathan Carroll
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"Can someone hurt you, even if you love them?"
Oh dear, the only people that can hurt you are the ones you love.
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The Sound✨
In the middle of my chaos,
I hear a cuckoo, singing across-
She, announcing
The homecoming of spring.
Her euphonious voice
Disburdens all my sorrow ñ lamenting.
Afterwards, I found myself thinking
What was I worrying about?
When nature has already showered me with
all the fixing;
A tune in my dissonance, inside out.
And eventually,
The Crayons in my chaos.
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I love the fact that I've got a million reasons to hate you;
I hate the fact that I am still not willing to do so.
#sad poem#poem#poetry#poets on tumblr#aesthetic#writers and poets#dead poets society#benchmark#original poem#i hate this
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Sun ☀️ and Moon 🌙
Have you ever noticed..?
How the sun burns for our lives
and unfurls the golden rays
Just to make sure that the existence survives
and we merely witness it's blaze.
Moon, the crescent heavenly body
giving my heart so much peace
Maybe, a pretty symbol of eternity
And somehow all miseries mysteriously cease.
And after all these years,
Once again I look up, with sparkling eyes
Just to feel the moon all over again
...It isn't there anymore
but this time, I am able to recognise;
A part of it is in me ñ will remain ♾️
#poem#poetry#poets on tumblr#writers and poets#photography#aesthetic#sun and moon show#sundrop#fnaf sun#moon#moodboard#fnaf moon#nature#space
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Exactly what I feel
I wish I could write exactly what I feel
I wish I could've been able to show you my wounds,
So that you could help me heal.
I wish I could've been able to find the exact reason-
The exact reason for this emptiness,
This wretchedness;
This never ending suffocation.
I wish I could've talked about 'stuffs' without shedding a single tear;
I wish this maim could've been mended,
Without any fear.
I wish people could read eyes,
The message behind tapping of my pale feet, actions of hands, the silent cries.
I wish I could've been able to get rid of these rush of emotions-
Experience peace, for ONCE.
Finally, I wish god and I could've made a deal,
I'd have asked him to swap our places to make you realise-
Exactly what I feel.
#blog#sad poem#poets on tumblr#dead poets society#poem#poetry#original poem#writers and poets#photography#aesthetic
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'Nature' is what you see
Close your eyes and just try to feel,
How the nature clenches its melodies
and the mystery it conceals.
The morning blaze of summer,
Change into winter's melancholy.
I sence the soothing wind athwart my hair,
a wonder besides strange serendipity.
So if you listen closely,
you'll see a splendid wave
that even the trees exhale,
And allude their own love songs,
making us feel homely.
That sweet gesture makes me fragile and forget about everythin'
While my heart whispers
Isn't it lovely?🤍✨
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Have you ever?
Have you ever-
Justified a stab and dealt?
Just because you loved the person holding the knife.
Blamed yourself for expressing how you felt?
Just because they don't make sense to anyone else.
Cried of infuriation?
Just because you didn't know how to respond.
Tried to hide from the demon under your bed when nights run?
Just to find out that it was in your sheets and then you became one.
Cleaned the hands of the one who twisted the knife?
Just because you didn't wanna stain em even though it was your horrific oblivion.
And lastly,
Defended a name who would curse you for the longest time?
Have you ever?
Because woefully,
I did ; and the startling thing is
I would not prefer anything to be done differently.
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HATE YOU?
At times, No apparent reason is needed to hate someone;
But ironically, many a times,
You've got a Million reasons to hate the one,
but you just-
𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕.
Regardless of how hard you try,
This is not what your heart would want.
The constant reminder of you being casually cruel,
Is washed away by recollections of ecstasy I shared with you.
You gave me all the grounds to despise;
And I wanted to
I really did; still do-
But never really wanted to look away from my favourite eyes.
Them, suppressing a million lies-
But what do I care when I'm already wise.
Tell me,
How can I hate that goofy smile?
Those sparkling eyes, the voice that I can recognise from a mile?
But,
How will I pardon you for the gut wrenching torment?
The agony that turned me into a poet?
The brutality, the never ending heartache, I might add.
Maybe I don't know how to hate you, but I don't know how to not hate you either.
I've got a Million reasons to hate you, but I just-
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MYSTERIOUS MISERY? OR LO...
Metaphorically,
It was a hurricane-
I got to know she still had the courage
The heroism of love, of being vulnerable, of warmth.
I was scared to let her wander in the open;
as she gets hurt often, but this time,
She believed she wouldn't.
I stopped her;
I warned her, but she wouldn't listen.
I guess she was about to learn a lesson.
I wanted to save her;
The maim was inevitable.
But innocent her, she was a simpleton.
Little did she know, she was about to perish;
The epitome of brutality was forthcoming.
A death that was unfair,
A death that was a murder,
A Sad Beautiful tragic death.
That's what I gave her, after all, it was her wish.
But she was loving the pain.
She felt hale.
People began to haunt;
She snug under paroxysm.
She thought to herself,
When did such a courageous girl become a disaster?!
Then she became acquainted with the fact She had fallen; in what we call
𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔, 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒄𝒚, 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒕𝒉, 𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔.
ʟᴏᴠᴇ.
It was sudden. It was a hurricane.
Just metaphorically (literally).
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