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Oh boy 1AM thought that has to be put to words immediately
Not-so-Wooden Horse
Log 15: January 12th, 2194
Our battle against the humans in sector gamma is finally shifting in our favor. We managed to get a perimeter around our capital ship making the humans unable to recklessly attack us. However the battle isn’t won yet, the humans are cunning, they use tactics only the insane would ever use. I still remember the look on everyone’s faces in the control center when a human battlecruiser rammed a flagship Supercruiser, killing everyone on both vessels instantly when the fusion reactors lost coolant.
I shall record another log in the coming week
Log 18: February 15th, 2194
Our victory draws near, we have destroyed 80% of the human navy in this sector of space, they have only 12 cruiser, 7 frigates, and a single malfunctioning and disarmed battleship left. We managed to get a direct connection the humans, we announced that we are going to give the humans a chance to surrender, none of us wanted this war and we want it to end just as much as they do.
I shall report once the humans have made their decision
Log 19: February 16th, 2194
Surprisingly the humans have decided to surrender, we are confused because humans are known for never giving up, even when faced with inevitable failure. But we are glad that this is over, they are sending their malfunctioning battleship with everyone on board to our capital ship. I can only assume they surrendered because they have “no cards left to play” as the humans say.
Will report once all humans are transferred to their cells.
Log 20: February 18th, 2194
They had one last card left to play…
When we let the ship through our perimeter and they docked at the capital ship we expected that they would walk out and let themselves be captured, we greeted them with open arms…
They greeted us with superheated spears…
Every single human was armed and armored and they stormed the capital ship, they used primitive spears that burned brighter than a reactor. Our armor was made to protect against lasers and radiation, we never accounted for such primitive melee weapons to be used in actual combat.
The battle over the capital ship quickly turned in our favor as surrounding ships began to drop reinforcements. But as we came across the last human, the general, he simply smiled and laughed.“did you like our little gift horse? Because I have one last little surprise for you.”
As he finished his sentence alarms started blaring, the alarms that signaled critical overheating of the reactors. “Your reactor security system used a mere 256bit password, guess us humans aren’t the only ones that ignore IT.” Said the human as I processed what was unfolding. I ran immediately to the nearest escape pod and left with a few surviving coworkers. I watched from external cameras as only mere minutes after we took off the entire capital ship, and the entire fleet around it, was vaporized.
This was my first time writing a story of some kind so I hope it Is ok, also sorry for grammar mistakes.
Should I write the perspective of the human side of this?
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IF ITS NOT A FRIEND THEN WHY IS IT FRIEND SHAPED
Human: *snuggles black bear*
Black Bear: *boops the human's snoot*
Alien: HUMAN WHY DO YOU SNUGGLE DEATH
Human: And this is why I don't go into the brown bear's enclosure .....
Brown Bear: *crushes a watermelon flat in one step*
Alien: .... so thats where you draw the line!?!
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I feel like Stabby the roomba is the pinnacle of comedy and the best representation of humanity.
Imagine this:
Alien: what the hell is this? Why is there a knife taped to the “Roomba”?
Human: oh it’s Mr Stabby!
Alien: you NAMED it?!
Human: watch out Stabby is gonna get you!
Alien: *backing away* so what you are telling me is you not only strapped a weapon to this Roomba, but also gave it a name?!
Human: well it wasn’t just me it was all of the humans on this ship who agreed to it.
Alien: why?!?!
Human: because it’s funny.
Alien: because it’s funny?! This could injure one of us! Then what would you say?!
Human: we would probably laugh at them because it’s a Roomba moving slower than walking speed.
Alien: …
Alien: well at least it won’t actively try to pursue people because it’s a cleaning robot.
Human: yea about that, one of the people who brought up the idea changed it’s programming to identify moving things as things to clean.
Alien: …
Alien: I swear… you humans will do anything to imprint yourself in onto anything…
Human: what do you mean?
Alien: this Roomba is now an incoherent, unpredictable and dangerous, and it is this way because “it would be funny”, does that sound familiar?
Human: …
Human: we get it you find us insane and dangerous.
Alien: you taped a knife to a Cleaning robot!
Human: what if I told you we have been taping knifes to Roombas for 70 years.
Alien: 70 YEARS?!?!
Human: we don’t plan to stop either.
Alien: if it wasn’t for your ability to do the jobs no sane being would ever do I would eject you all out of the ship right now.
TLDR: alien is not happy about mr stabby shenanigans.
#funny#humans are space orcs#alien and human#stabby the space roomba#stabby the roomba#humans are insane
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Tumblr has so many corners to explore that I’m starting to think I’m traversing through a 4D space.
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Ngl these manmade horrors beyond my comprehension are very comprehensible and definitely horrifying
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Boutta use a semicolon; incorrectly
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The struggle when you see a character you want to draw but your art block says “nuh uh uh you gotta wait another month”
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Do you ever just count the amount of floor tiles you have randomly? Just me?
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Oh to be a crow dropping pebbles into oncoming traffic from a power line
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*Combat starts*
Me: I roll for damage against the slime.
DM: Did you roll to hit?
Me about to roll my 20 pound tungsten dice: I SAID I ROLL FOR DAMAGE!
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So there are electric versions of instruments that are non-electric like guitars and violins but are there non-electric version of electric instruments? Like an otamatone you play like a stringed saxophone or a super bulky industrial grade keytar you carry like a greatsword.
#electronic instruments#musical instruments#my thougts#thoughts#realization#curious#thought provoking
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You can tell a hyperfixation is about to end when you start to get accustomed to it in daily life
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Anyone ever look at a blank TV for 20 minutes and daydream like you are telepathically connecting to the TV to play your favorite dream show only to be interrupted by reality when the smoke alarm goes off because you forgot the tater tots were in the oven.
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