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part two, scholarly notes!
[FROM CHAPTER SIX: THE ROSE-MAIDEN]
Now, one might imagine that The Rose-Maiden. We do not know when or where the tale came from, but there are many different ideas to who the maiden and the princess the story speaks of are.
One of those such theories is Queen Annabeth the Wise, and her wife Princess Consort Valentina Rose the Loving. We have records of the princess consort being called Thyme. In fact, that it is one of her names. We also know that Queen Annabeth supposedly had a crown, the fineness of which led to the net-crowns, which is a pervading trend of crowns that are oft described in modern tales. We also know that Queen Annabeth's reign ushered in a completely new style of dress where the heavy hanging of garments was momentarily replaced with lighter garments. Princess Consort Valentina Rose was also recorded to have maker-magic and was known for singing things into existence. Although Queen Annabeth and Princess Consort Valentina Rose are very likely, they are not the only candidates.
Another example of who the maiden and the princess may be is Queen Annabeth's own mother, Athena. It is often seen that Queen Athena would never marry, but she did contrive a false marriage several times. It is unknown of what her people thought of this. Additionally, it is suspected that the maiden was Queen Bianca from a different kingdom, although roughly contemporary. Queen Bianca and Queen Annabeth would, at least, have known of one another. Queen Bianca had a wife that was described as beautiful, but her alleged flaming red hair leads most scholars to conclude that it could not have been Queen Bianca, unless if the princess refers to her wife and the maiden to the queen herself.
Lastly, there are many theories as to who the prince may be. Some suggestions include the contemporary Prince Perseus, who undoubtedly would have been a good candidate for the then-princess's hand at the time. Another may be Prince Connor. However, many do suspect that the prince never existed at all and is simply a fanciful version which is contrived from the embellishment of stories.
But besides the multitudes of who the princess and the maiden may be, there are also several other historical notes. Undoubtedly, the princess and the maiden were not as beautiful as the stories make them out to be, as stories love a beautiful princess. However, we do know that Princess Consort Valentina was exceptionally beautiful, which lends that theory more credence.
The sister of the maiden is mentioned throughout as being from the far east, yet we have no records of any sister of the candidates. However, she could just be lost to time. I suggest that perhaps the sister never existed at all. Myth loves sisters, after all.
As for the Deep Lands, that is simply a return to the popular location in myth. All Enartian stories come from the Deep Lands, after all, and why would this be any different?
But as for us, this tale is an enduring one, an old one, told of by every parent to their child, as it seems like. May The Rose-Maiden endure for ages to come.
— excerpt from Facts and Fairy Tales: Where Myth Meets History by Dr. Hazel Levesque
[DR. HAZEL LEVESQUE] It is far from us to assume myths as history, but as we have often done with the Bible (no disrespect to any Christians in the audience, as the Bible is as much of a history textbook as that kind of historical text can be), we assume the same of the Historium, a text which has let us glean much information into the past.
In our anthropological study, myth and history must be untangled daily. In my book, Facts and Fairy Tales: Where Myth Meets History, shameless self promo [audience laughs], I remark that we can never know who the maiden and the princess are for certain. Like, you [pointing to an audience member], off the top of your head, who do you think the maiden and the princess are from The Rose-Maiden?
[DR. ANNABETH CHASE] I think it's Queen Annabeth and Princess Consort Valentina Rose, but I'm a little biased, seeing as my name is Annabeth.
[audience laughs]
[DR. HAZEL LEVESQUE] Maybe you'll find your own Valentina, then.
[DR. ANNABETH CHASE] Oh, I have, and I married her.
[audience laughs]
[DR. HAZEL LEVESQUE] Congratulations! Anyway, as I was saying, there are many interpretations. Annabeth here believes it to be her namesake, but my sister finds the Queen Bianca theory to be more enticing. Possibly because her name is Bianca [audience laughs], but never mind that. In any case, there is much left to question.
My partner in a recent dig, Dr. Lavinia Asimov, who unfortunately could not make it this conference, and I, who fortunately could make this conference, found new evidence in the shape of text written in what we call, colloquially, the lost language, and scholarly, Proto-Enartian, about the reign of Queen Annabeth the Wise. Or, rather, more about the magic that Princess Consort Valentina Rose the Loving possessed. As someone who is adept in the art of making-magic, the text shone a light on how making-magic's power has greatly diminished since the time of legends. Yet, I am excited to reveal this because translating it could be the key to reinvigorating and repowering maker-magic. As you can see here, the singing we have since lost is vital to making-magic, and the song is easily tapped into if you so study. Should I study it? I may perhaps have to give up my study of the intersection of myth and history, which I cannot do. I did my PhD on this, it is an obsession, as I'm sure many in the audience know [audience laughs].
But my main point is that, although much can be lost, not all ever is, and we can reclaim that which we have no longer known. That is the beating heart of our field, to reclaim what is lost. This is why we study anthropology, and seeing all the people here, I know that our field of study is going places that may actually even confirm who the princess and the maiden are.
And here I conclude my rather brief keynote. Anthropology is the love of my life, and those with doctorates in the audience surely agree. Not all that is lost cannot be found, and we are finding more and more of the lost every day.
Thank you.
[audience claps]
— keynote speech at the 36th Conference on Enartian Studies (ESCon) by Dr. Hazel Levesque
[FROM INTRODUCTION: WHY WE LOVE THIS MYTH]
The Rose-Maiden is an almost archetypical myth - there is royalty, there are quests, there is true love. Although the anthropological side, as analyzed by my colleague and leading expert on the study of history through myth, Hazel Levesque, is fascinating, I endeavour to focus more on the elements of literature throughout.
First, there is the stern queen archetype, which is often manifested in the form of the evil stepmother. There is the beautiful forest maiden archetype, as illustrated by the maiden, and the princess shows both the beautiful princess archetype and the courageous princess archetype. Another archetype is the mysterious castle. From a literary standpoint, this is a wonderful tale.
We have also seen a recent uptick in investment towards this tale, especially in the queer community, who hail it for being a queer tale. This includes interpretations of who the maiden and who the princess are. In modern fairy-tale retellings, Queen Annabeth the Wise and Princess Consort Valentina Rose are often the names for the characters, just as Cinderella is often given the name Ella.
So, why do we keep telling this myth? As Dr. Hazel Levesque has said, "Simple: it tells a lesson, it gives us hope, and it's a damn good story at that"1.
But I believe it is more complicated than that. Myths endure for three reasons: they are simple, good always prevails over evil, and they tell of triumph over all else. In The Rose-Maiden, there is not much complexity to it. There is a simple view of love, and most of the characters follow solid, well-known archetypes. Additionally, the lovers do stay together. There is no additional complexities added there - even the queen's heart is softened by the maiden at the end. Lastly, there is triumph. Despite a few setbacks, the maiden fights for her love, and she is given her love in the end.
The Rose-Maiden, however, is also a good story. Who doesn't remember being told it by their mother at night, or being regaled the tale by a teacher, or watching the timeless Disney movie? The Rose-Maiden endures because it is also common.
There are many versions of the Rose-Maiden that have been told over the years. Especially given the excess of modern romantasy adaptions, as I believe the subgenre is called. These adaptations are perhaps most notable in the form of books, in which the authors seek to humanize and complicate the subject matter. This is what I hope to examine in the book you are reading right now.
— excerpt from Examining The Rose-Maiden in Modern Literature by Dr. Calypso Nightshade (with an excerpt from Facts and Fairytales: Where Myth Meets History by Dr. Hazel Levesque
[FROM CHAPTER TWO: THE MYSTERY OF THE ENARTIANS]
Many, many tales have passed down to us from what used to be the Enartian civilization, especially through the Historium. However, a rather upsetting thing is that Enartia did not care for the specificities of who their characters are. For example, we have almost all the information on monarchs we'd ever want, and beautiful tales, but we do not know which characters correspond to which tales.
Take one very popular tale, The Rose-Maiden. Although we have many guesses, we do not actually know for certain. On the other hand, we know the names and epithets of every monarch (and many of their consorts' names) of that dynasty - there was first King Chaos the Great; then Queen Gaea the Benevolent and King Uranus; then King Zeus the Mighty and Queens (in order of marriage) Metis, Thetis, and Hera; then Queen Athena the Crafty; Queen Annabeth the Wise and Princess Consort Valentina Rose the Loving; and so on and so forth.
But which monarch corresponds to which tale? Who is the maiden and who is the princess? We can never know for certain.
And this is what we call the Mystery of the Enartians: their stories. We never know what is real and what is not, and that is a terrible thing. However, we must be thankful for what we have.
And we have so very much from the Enartians, more than any we could hope for from others.
— excerpt from Enartian History by Dr. Lavinia Asimov
[ANNABETH] And someday, I will find the world out I will live, I will learn, I will see, I will find something other to be, Oh, there's so much of what I can go do!
[VALENTINA, spoken] No, we'll do it together.
[BOTH] Oh, together, together, my love, We will fly so beyond our town-home, Oh, together, together, my love. There is no limit, we will roam.
[VALENTINA] My love, I will make ev'ry blessed thing, Let's go somewhere, oh, anywhere, together!
[ANNABETH (VALENTINA) BOTH] My ro-ose (my yarrow), so across the starry skies, Let us see the glory of the stars, (Let us see the beauty of the earth) Let us see the wonder of the world! (Please don't go anywhere I can't follow) Please don't leave me behind, oh, please don't, I will never, never go beyond you, love (leave you behind, my love) For you cause my soul to sing! And I love you!
— excerpt from My Rose, My Yarrow from the Disney film The Rose-Maiden
The Rose-Maiden
The Rose-Maiden is a enduring fairytale, passed down by a kingdom whose people are long-gone. Or: The princess of the Deep Lands meets a forest-maiden and falls in love, and the forest-maiden fights for her hand.
Read on ao3!
A long time ago in a land that was and wasn't, there was a queen known for her wisdom, the princess is known for her genius. None have rivalled her architectural genius, and her buildings stand ever-tall today. She was beautiful beyond compare, with eyes the colour of fine silver and hair of brilliant gold. Her kingdom treasured her more than any, and her mother treasured her most of all.
The Queen of the Deep Lands sought a husband for her daughter, a husband who would love and take care of the princess. The queen hoped for someone strong but not stifling, for someone soft but protecting, for someone smart but kind.
But the princess thought ill of any marriage. Because of her beauty and her genius, many coveted her, and even those who didn't realized why did quickly indeed. But the princess did not love them back; she declared that she never would, in the deepest recesses of her heart. No one could turn her head, and the princess did not want them to.
But our tale does not end there, for the princess soon found herself leaving the palace of the Deep Lands and leaving the town, into the great forest which protected the Deep Lands from any and all adversaries.
And in the forest there was a river, a beautiful river. And near the river was home to a beautiful maiden. Perhaps the word beautiful is a folly to use. The maiden was radiant, brilliant, as if the warmth of the sun and the captivation of fire had made themselves human flesh to dance and to sing and to make. Her hair was thick, long, and dark, and her eyes were deep brown, almost black, that held as many secrets as anyone would ever want to know. Her lips were painted pink, her eyelids dusted with gold, and all who saw her were enthralled by her beauty.
And she was not just enrapturing. Her song was the very same that made up the world, the very same that told of the future, the past, and everything in between. And she could change reality with that song, so much that she no longer had to sing to change it.
The princess heard the maiden's voice first of all and felt the very tapestry of the universe alter. But she also saw the strength that lay underneath it, and so with a voice that may be called shy, but in equal measure bold, she called out to the maiden.
"Hast the Rose which grows so abundant in the gardens found a voice?" she asked, and the maiden stopped altogether, for she was astonished indeed. "For I cannot imagine another whose strength would be so everlasting."
"Who speaks to me?" the maiden asked into the trees. "Show yourself, for none have ever come so close to hear my voice after seeing my face."
"I have not seen you yet," the princess replied, a smile in her eyes. "But I have heard your strength and your song, and it is unmatched by any and all."
"Show yourself, then," the maiden replied. "Or sing with me. I shall then know you."
The princess was yet shy, despite being bold the moment before, and began a low melody that, although lovely, was incomparable to the maiden's splendid voice. Yet the maiden added her voice to the melody, an octave higher, as the princess altered to a slightly higher harmony.
And so they sang together. Perhaps we will never truly know what they sang of, but they did not see each other, yet saw each other all the same. The princess found herself enamoured with the maiden's voice, and the maiden likewise.
Yet the song finished soon enough. All music sung by the ungodly must end, even if its roots are baked into the godly.
"Show yourself," the maiden repeated once more, and the princess acquisitioned at last.
But the moment the princess's eyes fell upon the maiden, she was enraptured. I have told you no lies about the maiden's beauty, and although the princess could never hope to reach the maiden, she was still enraptured for it did not matter in the end.
The maiden was equally as enraptured by the princess as the other was by her. The maiden had seen beauty, but none was paired with the princess's intellect.
"I do see now that you are no Rose," the princess spoke. "I had not realized that one could surpass the beauty and hope of the Rose."
"I thank you for your compliments," the maiden replied. "You are kind, indeed."
"Kind! All I do is show you reality."
The maiden smiled, but she did not reveal her love for the princess. It would be folly to do so, she believed.
Yet the princess felt bold once again. "I should endeavour to win your heart, if it can be won."
"You already have," the maiden only replied, which caused both to rejoice. The princess and the maiden, cast ever in their love.
"I thank thou for thy compliments."
"And who art thou, precisely? I am the forest-maiden, Rose-maiden by your words, and I have lived nowhere but here."
"I am princess of the Deep Lands, and nothing more."
"I do not need any more than you. But shalt thy mother the Queen protest our love?" the maiden wondered. "I do not dare think of it, for the very thought has clouded my heart in despair."
"My mother the Queen has wisdom beyond compare," the princess replied. "The love we share is strong enough that she shall not bring herself to protest."
But the princess was wrong, as she seldom was. The Queen of the Deep Lands had found a candidate for her daughter's hand, and the maiden was incomparable in the light of the solidity that the prince the Queen had selected could be. Yet the prince was incomparable to the maiden in all ways that mattered to the princess.
But the Queen could not forsake her daughter in that way, and promised the hand of the princess to whoever could find her the finer crown.
The prince set out and found the best smiths in his kingdom, and they made a crown of fine gold and silver. It was heavy, inlaid with gems, and was as costly as a crown could be.
But the maiden did not make a crown like that. Her song turned the air to a crown so delicate and fine as to be impossible, a hair-net which fit her beloved as the stars fit the sky, as the flower fit its stem. Red yarrow bloomed on the delicate chains, without stem and without soil, and the rubies which fit into the crown glowed from the inside, the light of the stars captured in the crown.
And so the prince and the maiden brought their crowns to the Queen of the Deep Lands, and none who saw the crowns could judge the prince's finer, for the crown of the prince was made for a princess whose life would be lived like that of a statue, and the crown of the maiden was made for the princess herself.
And so the princess wore the maiden's crown, causing all to declare her more beautiful yet, and the Queen of the Deep Lands could say no more about the crowns, although she soon delved another trial. A trial of clothing, for the Queen thought her daughter worth of naught but the very best, the finest cloth available to man.
The prince again brought layers and layers of heavy velvet and saffron, a resplendent gown for any who declared themselves wanting of luxury. All coloured in purple and gold, which any would look rich and worthy.
The maiden sang a likewise dress into existence, that rippled like waves, but instead of the heavy fabrics, she sang tulle in layers and rubies in those layers. A sash of gold-coloured thread wrapped around the waist, and the dress was embroidered with the gold thread, making roses in the patterns of the gown. It was beautiful beyond compare.
However, a few days before the dresses were to be presented, the Queen of the Deep Lands or maybe the prince, as even I know not whom, sabotaged the maiden's dress and turned it to shreds. The dress could not be salvaged and the song for it would take multiple days that the maiden did not have.
The maiden knew she could not make something in that reduced time. She could not make something which all the money in the world could buy. She simply had to make something that fit the princess. But then, the maiden knew who to call: her sister, who lived in the far east, in a place where dragons were good and hair was like that of a raven's. The sister of the maiden loved her sister indeed and helped her sister sing into being a fine dress, which matched the crown.
The crown was of gold and ruby, and so the dress was of ruby red fabric, finer than any known to the Deep Lands. The thread was that of solid gold, expensive and beautiful, yet effortless for the maiden. Rubies, as red as roses, were sewn into the gold thread, a sash made only of the gold thread and embroidered with red thread and yarrow crossed it. It was a form unique to the east that the maiden's sister was from, and it was unique and resplendent indeed.
And so the dresses were presented. The princess wore her crown as made by the maiden, and the prince's dress was lovely, but the purple did not fit the princess and she looked drowned out in it. And the maiden was yet again victorious, as none could tear their eyes away from the princess after she donned the maiden's dress, least of all the maiden.
With that, the Queen had no more trials to give, as the princess's love for the maiden and the maiden's love for the princess were clear to all who saw them, and the Queen did not want to protest. With a smile on her face, the Queen gave the hand of the princess to the maiden, and the maiden felt blessed indeed, if only by the princess's love for her.
Ere the betrothal, the maiden decided to make a necklace for her love and sang herself a necklace which so beautifully matched the princess's dress and crown. A net of rubies hung on a chain, interlocked and beautiful beyond compare. The princess declared the maiden's gifts to be her wedding-clothes and sought to give something comparable to the maiden.
But the princess had no gift of magic, but she did have the gift of riches, and asked the maiden if she would so provide bolts of the same cloth which she had given for the princess's dress. Unable to deny her love, the maiden sang them into existence, without even a single question as to why.
The princess then asked the best tailors of the Deep Lands to create a dress of the cloth — called silk then and now — which matched the maiden's dress to herself. And although it was difficult, a matching dress was made of blue instead of red, with gold and embroidery of roses.
And then the princess sought out the jewelers of the Deep Lands and bid them for a crown and necklace which matched the maiden's to the princess. Using fine gold chains and sapphires, the jewelers created something that matched as closely as it could, but the crown could not yet grow flowers, but the princess hoped that one day it would grow rose.
But the wedding day came soon enough, and the princess and the maiden greeted each other in happiness, and all remarked on their clothing - identical, as the maiden's happiness caused blue roses to grow out of her crown.
The Deep Lands rejoiced, and even the Queen could find no fault in her new daughter-in-law.
And who knows. The maiden and the princess may still be happy today, as I am not aware of their death or if they died at all.
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The Rose-Maiden
The Rose-Maiden is a enduring fairytale, passed down by a kingdom whose people are long-gone. Or: The princess of the Deep Lands meets a forest-maiden and falls in love, and the forest-maiden fights for her hand.
Read on ao3!
A long time ago in a land that was and wasn't, there was a queen known for her wisdom, the princess is known for her genius. None have rivalled her architectural genius, and her buildings stand ever-tall today. She was beautiful beyond compare, with eyes the colour of fine silver and hair of brilliant gold. Her kingdom treasured her more than any, and her mother treasured her most of all.
The Queen of the Deep Lands sought a husband for her daughter, a husband who would love and take care of the princess. The queen hoped for someone strong but not stifling, for someone soft but protecting, for someone smart but kind.
But the princess thought ill of any marriage. Because of her beauty and her genius, many coveted her, and even those who didn't realized why did quickly indeed. But the princess did not love them back; she declared that she never would, in the deepest recesses of her heart. No one could turn her head, and the princess did not want them to.
But our tale does not end there, for the princess soon found herself leaving the palace of the Deep Lands and leaving the town, into the great forest which protected the Deep Lands from any and all adversaries.
And in the forest there was a river, a beautiful river. And near the river was home to a beautiful maiden. Perhaps the word beautiful is a folly to use. The maiden was radiant, brilliant, as if the warmth of the sun and the captivation of fire had made themselves human flesh to dance and to sing and to make. Her hair was thick, long, and dark, and her eyes were deep brown, almost black, that held as many secrets as anyone would ever want to know. Her lips were painted pink, her eyelids dusted with gold, and all who saw her were enthralled by her beauty.
And she was not just enrapturing. Her song was the very same that made up the world, the very same that told of the future, the past, and everything in between. And she could change reality with that song, so much that she no longer had to sing to change it.
The princess heard the maiden's voice first of all and felt the very tapestry of the universe alter. But she also saw the strength that lay underneath it, and so with a voice that may be called shy, but in equal measure bold, she called out to the maiden.
"Hast the Rose which grows so abundant in the gardens found a voice?" she asked, and the maiden stopped altogether, for she was astonished indeed. "For I cannot imagine another whose strength would be so everlasting."
"Who speaks to me?" the maiden asked into the trees. "Show yourself, for none have ever come so close to hear my voice after seeing my face."
"I have not seen you yet," the princess replied, a smile in her eyes. "But I have heard your strength and your song, and it is unmatched by any and all."
"Show yourself, then," the maiden replied. "Or sing with me. I shall then know you."
The princess was yet shy, despite being bold the moment before, and began a low melody that, although lovely, was incomparable to the maiden's splendid voice. Yet the maiden added her voice to the melody, an octave higher, as the princess altered to a slightly higher harmony.
And so they sang together. Perhaps we will never truly know what they sang of, but they did not see each other, yet saw each other all the same. The princess found herself enamoured with the maiden's voice, and the maiden likewise.
Yet the song finished soon enough. All music sung by the ungodly must end, even if its roots are baked into the godly.
"Show yourself," the maiden repeated once more, and the princess acquisitioned at last.
But the moment the princess's eyes fell upon the maiden, she was enraptured. I have told you no lies about the maiden's beauty, and although the princess could never hope to reach the maiden, she was still enraptured for it did not matter in the end.
The maiden was equally as enraptured by the princess as the other was by her. The maiden had seen beauty, but none was paired with the princess's intellect.
"I do see now that you are no Rose," the princess spoke. "I had not realized that one could surpass the beauty and hope of the Rose."
"I thank you for your compliments," the maiden replied. "You are kind, indeed."
"Kind! All I do is show you reality."
The maiden smiled, but she did not reveal her love for the princess. It would be folly to do so, she believed.
Yet the princess felt bold once again. "I should endeavour to win your heart, if it can be won."
"You already have," the maiden only replied, which caused both to rejoice. The princess and the maiden, cast ever in their love.
"I thank thou for thy compliments."
"And who art thou, precisely? I am the forest-maiden, Rose-maiden by your words, and I have lived nowhere but here."
"I am princess of the Deep Lands, and nothing more."
"I do not need any more than you. But shalt thy mother the Queen protest our love?" the maiden wondered. "I do not dare think of it, for the very thought has clouded my heart in despair."
"My mother the Queen has wisdom beyond compare," the princess replied. "The love we share is strong enough that she shall not bring herself to protest."
But the princess was wrong, as she seldom was. The Queen of the Deep Lands had found a candidate for her daughter's hand, and the maiden was incomparable in the light of the solidity that the prince the Queen had selected could be. Yet the prince was incomparable to the maiden in all ways that mattered to the princess.
But the Queen could not forsake her daughter in that way, and promised the hand of the princess to whoever could find her the finer crown.
The prince set out and found the best smiths in his kingdom, and they made a crown of fine gold and silver. It was heavy, inlaid with gems, and was as costly as a crown could be.
But the maiden did not make a crown like that. Her song turned the air to a crown so delicate and fine as to be impossible, a hair-net which fit her beloved as the stars fit the sky, as the flower fit its stem. Red yarrow bloomed on the delicate chains, without stem and without soil, and the rubies which fit into the crown glowed from the inside, the light of the stars captured in the crown.
And so the prince and the maiden brought their crowns to the Queen of the Deep Lands, and none who saw the crowns could judge the prince's finer, for the crown of the prince was made for a princess whose life would be lived like that of a statue, and the crown of the maiden was made for the princess herself.
And so the princess wore the maiden's crown, causing all to declare her more beautiful yet, and the Queen of the Deep Lands could say no more about the crowns, although she soon delved another trial. A trial of clothing, for the Queen thought her daughter worth of naught but the very best, the finest cloth available to man.
The prince again brought layers and layers of heavy velvet and saffron, a resplendent gown for any who declared themselves wanting of luxury. All coloured in purple and gold, which any would look rich and worthy.
The maiden sang a likewise dress into existence, that rippled like waves, but instead of the heavy fabrics, she sang tulle in layers and rubies in those layers. A sash of gold-coloured thread wrapped around the waist, and the dress was embroidered with the gold thread, making roses in the patterns of the gown. It was beautiful beyond compare.
However, a few days before the dresses were to be presented, the Queen of the Deep Lands or maybe the prince, as even I know not whom, sabotaged the maiden's dress and turned it to shreds. The dress could not be salvaged and the song for it would take multiple days that the maiden did not have.
The maiden knew she could not make something in that reduced time. She could not make something which all the money in the world could buy. She simply had to make something that fit the princess. But then, the maiden knew who to call: her sister, who lived in the far east, in a place where dragons were good and hair was like that of a raven's. The sister of the maiden loved her sister indeed and helped her sister sing into being a fine dress, which matched the crown.
The crown was of gold and ruby, and so the dress was of ruby red fabric, finer than any known to the Deep Lands. The thread was that of solid gold, expensive and beautiful, yet effortless for the maiden. Rubies, as red as roses, were sewn into the gold thread, a sash made only of the gold thread and embroidered with red thread and yarrow crossed it. It was a form unique to the east that the maiden's sister was from, and it was unique and resplendent indeed.
And so the dresses were presented. The princess wore her crown as made by the maiden, and the prince's dress was lovely, but the purple did not fit the princess and she looked drowned out in it. And the maiden was yet again victorious, as none could tear their eyes away from the princess after she donned the maiden's dress, least of all the maiden.
With that, the Queen had no more trials to give, as the princess's love for the maiden and the maiden's love for the princess were clear to all who saw them, and the Queen did not want to protest. With a smile on her face, the Queen gave the hand of the princess to the maiden, and the maiden felt blessed indeed, if only by the princess's love for her.
Ere the betrothal, the maiden decided to make a necklace for her love and sang herself a necklace which so beautifully matched the princess's dress and crown. A net of rubies hung on a chain, interlocked and beautiful beyond compare. The princess declared the maiden's gifts to be her wedding-clothes and sought to give something comparable to the maiden.
But the princess had no gift of magic, but she did have the gift of riches, and asked the maiden if she would so provide bolts of the same cloth which she had given for the princess's dress. Unable to deny her love, the maiden sang them into existence, without even a single question as to why.
The princess then asked the best tailors of the Deep Lands to create a dress of the cloth — called silk then and now — which matched the maiden's dress to herself. And although it was difficult, a matching dress was made of blue instead of red, with gold and embroidery of roses.
And then the princess sought out the jewelers of the Deep Lands and bid them for a crown and necklace which matched the maiden's to the princess. Using fine gold chains and sapphires, the jewelers created something that matched as closely as it could, but the crown could not yet grow flowers, but the princess hoped that one day it would grow rose.
But the wedding day came soon enough, and the princess and the maiden greeted each other in happiness, and all remarked on their clothing - identical, as the maiden's happiness caused blue roses to grow out of her crown.
The Deep Lands rejoiced, and even the Queen could find no fault in her new daughter-in-law.
And who knows. The maiden and the princess may still be happy today, as I am not aware of their death or if they died at all.
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would you be so kind (just to fall in love with me?)
Bianca's moved back to New York, and not wanting to unpack her furniture and belongings, she decides to go on the roof of her building. Rachel Elizabeth Dare was not part of the equation.
read on ao3!
Bianca doesn't want to unpack the rest of her furniture. It's expensive and she paid a pretty penny to have it transported, but she's unpacked her bed and her desk and the fridge and called it quits. Nico's busy, Hazel's busy, Drew's busy, so Bianca doesn't want to do anything without company.
And she doesn't really want to go outside. But she does, all the same.
So she climbs up to the roof, and looks down at the city below.
It's odd to be back in New York. Sure, it's nice, but Bianca's not super fond of how the city has changed. It feels like that one time that Percy decided to rearrange all her furniture slightly to the left - everything is achingly familiar but a few things are somehow slightly off.
It's still as noisy as ever — as any city is, honestly — with sirens blaring and cars' engines going. People honk. It's nice that, despite everything, New York hasn't changed much.
But it's also times like this that Bianca misses Italy. Or, more accurately, Venice. It's an old ache, that's certain, and Bianca has never went back. Her mother was never fond of her family, and her loss is a bruise that Bianca can never seem to heal. Besides, Bianca barely remembers it now.
Because then Maria died, and they were in New York with their new stepmother and her daughter. Persephone and Hazel are wonderful, but it was never the same. Oh, they were family, but it wasn't the same.
That reminds Bianca, she should call Hazel soon, it's been-
"Well, I didn't expect someone to be melodramatically brooding in my usual painting spot," a voice says, cutting through Bianca's thoughts like a knife.
"Melodramatically brooding!?" Bianca snaps, whipping around to see a woman around her age, holding a wicker basket. Her overalls are decorated with paint splatters that look sort of intentional, if anything, and her green eyes are lit up in a beautiful smile.
"You heard me. Is there any other word for it?"
"I..."
"Exactly."
"Did you just come here to insult me?"
"Well, I have other things to do," she says, rolling her eyes. She comes to stand next to Bianca, setting her basket down. "I'm Rachel Elizabeth Dare."
"Bianca di Angelo."
"Cheesed to meet you."
"Excuse me, what?"
"Your shirt says nothing but 'enchantments of cheese' in white font on solid black," she says, like it's a perfectly normal thing to make a pun out of someone's shirt that you just met.
Bianca shakes her head in response to that. "Anyway, you paint?" she asks, nodding towards Rachel's basket, which is full of paint, brushes, and a few canvases.
"Yeah. The view isn't very different from my apartment, but it's louder, and I like the fresh air. Or, as fresh as it can be."
"The view isn't very different? Are you in the penthouse?" Bianca asks, but Rachel remains silent for just long enough for Bianca to realize that Rachel does, in fact, live in the penthouse.
She promptly bursts out laughing. "I can't believe you're in the penthouse. Now I can... anonymously send you gifts?"
"Like watermelon?"
"Who sends watermelon as a gift? Anonymously?"
"You look like you would. You know, like a cryptid — ding-dong-ditching your way with watermelons."
"You're a strange person."
"I get that a lot," Rachel says, winking at Bianca.
Bianca looks down at the streets, her face growing hot.
"Anyway," Rachel says, "I also like painting up here because I like the stars."
"You can't see stars in the city."
"No, but the city lights are a pale imitation, aren't they?"
Bianca shrugs. "I suppose."
"A simulacrum, if you will."
"Getting into Gnosticism?"
"Maybe more of Platonism," Rachel trades back.
"Both are decently terrible," Bianca says.
"Naturally."
"Anyway, the city lights. Have you ever seen all the stars?"
"No. I've never really been outside metropolises," Rachel admits.
"Never? I used to go camping all the time. Well, summer camp — they called it Hunters' Camp, run by this stern woman named Artemis. With a name like that, you wouldn't expect it to be all-girls, but it was."
"Yeah, I've never gone camping."
"Road trips?"
"No, actually — I took a plane everywhere. Besides, my parents didn't usually take me on vacation. Something about tiring them out."
"Oh, I see. Well, I'll have to help you change that."
"Are you asking me on a date?"
"No!" Bianca says, blushing. "Just... continued friendship."
"Oh, are we friends already? How lovely."
"You know what? I've decided to embrace this. We're friends."
"Just friends?"
"What else?"
Rachel shrugs. "You tell me."
Bianca rolls her eyes. “Sure.”
Rachel smiles, or smirks, or something between the two, and a car alarm goes off in the streets below, sound undiluted by the distance.
“I hate car alarms,” Rachel says. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone heed them.”
“You’re right, actually. I’ve always ignored them.”
“Who doesn’t?”
Bianca acknowledges that with an incline of her head. “Anyway, what do you paint?”
“I’ve been trying to emulate Ivan Aizovsky,” Rachel says. “Unfortunately, I can’t do it nearly as fast.”
Bianca shrugs. “Not many can, especially with that level of talent.”
“What do you do?”
“I’m a lawyer,” Bianca says. “I tend to do cases surrounding domestic and child abuse.”
“A noble pursuit.”
Bianca blushes. “I also like composing in the side, but more emulating Romantic composers.”
“Really? That’s so cool — I don't see many people still listening to classical music."
"It's waned in popularity, that's for certain, but I still find it beautiful."
"Do you play any instruments?"
"Piano, actually - kind of a non-answer. Everyone and their mother play piano. Cello, too, though, and my best friend plays violin. I have another good friend, he plays flute."
"I can't play an instrument."
"Really? I'll have to teach you."
"Does that mean you're asking me on a date, Bianca?" Rachel smirks, looking rather delighted at this turn of events.
Bianca blushes. "I suppose."
"Well, here's my number," Rachel says. "Give me your arm."
Bianca obliges, and Rachel scrawls her phone number on Bianca's arm in pen. Drew's undoubtedly going to have questions, but Bianca thinks she can suffer through them, if she can see Rachel's smile again and again and again.
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it's gonna hurt like hell, but we're gonna be well (i'll give you my best shot)
It's been five years since Bianca has seen Rachel is person. She just got on a plane all the way to California to see Rachel on some mysterious impulse. But Bianca's never been able to forget Rachel's smile, so maybe she can get something out of this.
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"Bianca?" is the first thing Rachel says when she opens the door to her wife.
"Rachel. It's been a while."
"It's been years. Why are you here?"
"I... just had to leave."
"You came across the country. And why me?"
"I don't know, okay?"
"Did you do any planning?"
"Uh, sort of. But-"
"Just stay with me," Rachel says, and rolls her eyes. "I have a spare room."
"Thanks."
"Besides, it's two am in the morning. What's that for you, five am? Just go to sleep."
"See you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow, I guess."
«»
“So. Why are you here?”
Bianca takes a sip of her coffee. It’s perfect, despite the incredible specificities that she likes. “You made my coffee perfect.”
“I’m not in the habit of disappointing guests. But onto the point. Why are you here?”
“I got tired.”
“Of what?”
“I don’t know. Everything. Being Nico and Hazel’s perfect sister. Doing everything for them.”
Choosing them over you, she doesn’t say.
“You’ve been doing it for years. What changed?”
“I don’t know," Bianca says. "Maybe it's Nico wanting children and wanting me to be the perfect aunt for them. Maybe it's that... I don't know."
Rachel nods, and there’s something different in her eyes. Softer, maybe. With an ache, Bianca realizes that’s a pale imitation of how Rachel used to look at her.
Maybe this won’t be so bad.
“You can stay here,” Rachel says. “We’re still legally married, after all.”
“Thanks.”
Rachel nods, her close-clipped and brightly painted nails drumming on the table in a manner that would’ve been so familiar to Bianca years ago but is now as distant as what five years and a million little mistakes could’ve created.
“What’re you doing now?” Bianca asks suddenly. It’s odd, but Bianca finds that she really does want to know what’s going on.
“Not much,” Rachel says. “My art’s gotten big, I guess. I get a decent amount of museums wanting to display my work in modern art galleries. I have a few pieces loaned out to the Tate Modern. My father’s company is now mine and I’ve been trying to get it to turn around and be… better. It’s not actually that hard to be eco-friendly. I’ve been using my influence to try to make it better.”
Bianca smiles.
“And you?” Rachel finishes, almost lamely, like she doesn’t know what else to say.
“Music’s still making me some money, but lawyering is still my main profession. I’ve been helping abuse victims — working with Percy.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Good. Got married, well, eloped. Didn’t want a huge wedding. Or one at all. His social work is doing well, too.”
“Oh, I never took Annabeth as someone who didn’t want a wedding.”
“He didn’t marry Annabeth.”
“Oh, really? I always thought it would be her.”
“Me, too. Up until the moment they broke up, four years ago.”
“So, who’s he married to?”
“One of Drew’s coworkers when she was doing the solo at the Phillharmonic Orchestra a few years back. Plays the cello. She’s a lot like Annabeth in some ways and a lot unlike her in others.”
“I’m glad he’s happy. What about Drew?”
“She’s the only person who knew I was leaving. She’s doing great.”
“Being called one of the best violinists in the world, hey?”
“Yeah. I’m proud. And what’s going on with you?”
Rachel sips at her tea. “Mostly what I said. Katie and Travis are living their happily-ever-after. Two kids, now.”
“That’s nice for them.”
“What’s going on with you, anyway?”
“Not much. I haven’t cheated or anything.”
Rachel snorts. “I’d hardly count dating someone now as cheating, but I suppose I haven’t ‘cheated’.”
“I suppose it isn’t. We’re separated in all but name, anyway.”
“Yeah.”
The apartment smells of lavender, and Bianca doesn’t say that she still wonders what went wrong with them. Maybe it was the distance. Maybe they weren’t, aren’t, the type of couple to make it out.
Maybe, just like her, Rachel still can’t bear the idea of divorcing each other. Even after all this time. Even after all this distance.
Bianca’s never been able to forget the way Rachel smiles, after all.
«»
Bianca’s got work — she’s never been one to not plan, and there’s, unfortunately, always someone who needs to escape a terrible situation. She starts on her new case and the paperwork piles up once more. It’s not altogether terrible, and in fact, Bianca enjoys it. She’s helping people.
Rachel’s penthouse has an excellent view of the sea, and in summer, it’s as close to idyllic as it could get.
Plenty of inspiration for Rachel’s painting.
It’s just, Bianca used to be the one Rachel would sketch and paint. She remembers coming across a sketchbook of Rachel’s full of just Bianca herself, pages made entirely of pencil and nothing else of Bianca’s profile and front in loving detail.
But Bianca remembers that she used to write music about Rachel, music in which she described Rachel’s eyes and their multitudes and everything, music in which she told Rachel she’d love her no matter what — even if they had no words, Bianca likes to think they conveyed the sense of it all.
And they both know how that ended.
But what’s done is done. No use in changing what’s already happened.
“Let’s go out,” Rachel says. “You’re in California. I thought the purpose was to leave it all behind.”
“Yes, but…”
Rachel rolls her eyes. “Still haven’t left the workaholic tendencies?”
“No. Work’s important.”
Rachel smiles. “It won’t kill you to get out once in a while. C’mon, let’s go.”
Bianca lets Rachel drag her outside, to some botanical, well-kept garden. It's an aching reminder of the dates they used to have, but slightly skewed. Rachel brings her sketchbook, just like always, and makes thumbnails of various flowers and displays – the lavender, the gladiolus, a butterfly Rachel stops to draw because she thinks its blue colour is lovely, and it is, especially detailed through Rachel’s coloured pencils.
"Do you still obsess over plants as much as you used to?" Rachel asks, a reminder of how well Rachel used to know Bianca. Plants weren't something Bianca talked to just anyone about.
"Yes."
"Tell me about them."
"Those are tiger lilies," Bianca says, pointing. "USDA hardiness zones three to nine, perennial. They symbolize, depending on who you ask, mercy, compassion, wealth, prosperity, courage, or pride. Originating in Asia, they bloom in late summer to early fall."
"And those ones?" Rachel asks, pointing to roses of all things.
"Those are roses. I'd suppose you know about them already."
"Tell me about them anyway."
"Usually perennial, can live in most conditions. Usually mean love, especially red roses, and yellow roses represent friendship. Briar roses and some hybrids can have aromatic scents."
And so they go through the botanical garden, Rachel sketches more, and Bianca tells her about the plants. It's so achingly familiar that Bianca gets déjà vu.
"Do you want to get food at some point?"
"It's nearing five," Bianca says. "Sure, why not."
They get takeout. It's good, and it reminds Bianca of what she used to have, back when she and Rachel were first married and lived in California. Lived where Bianca's now staying.
Bianca never should've left. But she'll admit it. She was never not going to leave.
It's been years since Bianca was a child, a decade and a half. She can admit things she couldn't earlier. And one of those is that Bianca regrets leaving Rachel for Nico and Hazel. Bianca has always prioritized her younger siblings over anything else, and it's not recent, the bitter taste that leaves in her mouth.
But Bianca's here now. With Rachel.
Maybe she should stop hiding. But it's Rachel. But there's Nico. And Hazel. And everything else she can’t say and can’t name.
«»
That night, Bianca gets a call from Nico.
"Drew told me that you up and left for California."
"I did. Did you just notice? It's been a few days since I left."
"We don't talk that often, Bianca."
He's lying. Bianca and Nico talk every other day. He's just not used to Bianca doing something this impulsive. He's just not used to Bianca doing something for herself. And he doesn't even realize it.
He never has, she notes, with no shortage of bitterness.
"I suppose not."
"Why did you leave?" Nico's voice is angry, but it's a little grainy through the phone, and if Bianca tries hard enough, she can pretend that it isn’t Nico saying this. That it isn’t her little brother.
"I don't know."
"And Rachel? You haven't talked in years!"
"We talked five minutes ago."
"Bianca-"
"Hold it, Nico."
She hangs up. Puts her phone aside. She can't deal with this right now.
Nico calls again. The apartment's quiet, Rachel's out for a late-night painting class she teaches. The phone rings, a fake sounding noise that reverberates across the empty apartment. Nico's contact reads 'baby brother' because it pisses Nico off and Bianca is so, so tired.
Hazel will call soon, as soon as Nico gives up getting her to listen to him. Hazel will call because Nico will tell her to. Hazel will call because she's concerned about Bianca.
Drew is too, Bianca knows. But Drew knows Bianca, better than Bianca knows herself. Drew only smiled and told Bianca to go for it when Bianca told her she was leaving.
Drew knows exactly how Bianca feels about Rachel.
Bianca could really go for a chat with her.
But on cue, the minute Nico's calls stop coming, Hazel's start.
Bianca puts her phone on silent, puts it in her bag, and continues working on her case. She's getting the case declared self-defence if she dies trying.
Bianca's good at this. She always has been. She's suffered through too much research and too much deliberation to not be.
But just as Bianca starts the get back into her work, the door opens, and Rachel comes in, singing.
It's an old song, certainly. One Bianca remembers Rachel loving.
Rachel's always had a pretty voice. Bianca's always been an alto, dipping into contralto, but Rachel has a high soprano. Bianca would be lying to say she didn't miss it all the time.
Bianca would be lying to say she didn't miss Rachel all the time.
Suddenly, Rachel's singing is brought to an abrupt stop.
"Oh, I forgot you're here," Rachel says sheepishly.
"It's fine," Bianca says. “You’re not used to me here.”
“I suppose not.”
Rachel hums, taking her hair out of the band that barely kept it together anyways.
Bianca goes back to her work, and a few minutes later, Rachel places the most perfect cup of tea on Bianca’s desk, just the way she likes it. Mint tea with a generous amount of lavender honey.
Well, Bianca hasn’t drunk her tea with lavender honey since… since she felt actually married to Rachel.
“Thanks for the tea,” Bianca says. “It’s perfect.”
Bianca can hear the smile in Rachel’s voice. “I know.”
«»
The next day, Bianca goes shopping. She figures she should get something for Rachel. After all, she has to put up with Bianca.
She first stops at a candle store. Rachel loves candles, Bianca remembers distantly — she used to get Rachel candleholders. Floral scented, lavender. Her favourites. Well, the years must have changed things, but Bianca still loves her lavender honey, and her coffee that precise way.
And then she goes to a florist.
Rachel’s favourite flowers are carnations, heliotrope, and forget-me-nots. Bianca decides to go with pink carnations, purple heliotrope, and blue forget-me-nots, along with white yarrow. She hopes it’ll make Rachel happy. She always likes flowers. As a last minute decision, Bianca adds lavender to the bunch.
"Got someone you're thinking of?" the florist asks, her almost luminous green eyes (that distantly remind Bianca of Rachel) lighting up and a smirk decorating her face.
"Sort of," Bianca replies, looking down at her name plate. Lou Ellen, it reads.
So she walks back to the apartment, putting in the code, up to the top floor. With her family's money, Rachel easily affords the penthouse.
It's odd. This is so familiar. Bianca used to do this same thing every day.
And now she lives in New York, across the country.
Bianca loves New York more than she ever loved California. But she can't say that she misses New York.
Rachel fits better in California then when they were in university in New York, she thinks, with a sudden pang. They left for California for a reason.
But the elevator dings and Bianca arrives at the top floor, walking to their door and opening it. Rachel's cooking something, the smell weighing down the air. The scene is so unbearably domestic, just like how they used to be.
Rachel turns when Bianca arrives, cooking momentarily forgotten. "Oh! Flowers? And candles?"
"Kind of like a thanks-for-putting-up-with-me gift," Bianca explains.
Rachel smiles. "I love them. But you didn't have to get it for me. I wouldn't... not put up with you."
Bianca smiles back, and she goes to the cabinet to get a vase worthy of them. The kitchen is still organized the way that it used to be, five years ago. The déjà vu grows more poignant.
"I'm almost done dinner," Rachel says. "It's chicken. Mostly easy."
"Thanks," Bianca says, because she feels like she has to. "It's fine. Chicken’s great."
And it stirs up a memory. Second date, Bianca got sick, so Rachel came over to her terrible student living and made chicken, of all things. Maria, Bianca’s mother, hated chicken, for whatever reason, so it was the first time Bianca really had chicken.
Until that day with Rachel.
Bianca will admit, she doesn’t like chicken all that much.
But Rachel’s already hosting, and Bianca doesn’t really want to protest.
“Dinner is ready,” Rachel says, softly, as if she’s afraid of disturbing Bianca.
“Thanks," Bianca replies, putting her things away, all the paper back in its folders and into her four-inch binder.
When Rachel serves the food, dinner turns into a quiet affair. It's not awkward — thank the sea and stars — but it is silent. The sunset streams through the windows, and Rachel is still so beautiful in the golden light.
Gold suits her.
Gold suits Rachel, unlike Bianca, whose complexion has always left more for silver than for gold. Gold suits Rachel the way that green does.
Bianca's reminded of their wedding dresses. Bianca wore all black and silver, Rachel in white and gold. It was a little pointless, a little fanciful, but it made great pictures and greater happiness.
But that is far behind her now. That's far behind both of them.
The fresh flowers Bianca got Rachel are on the table, as beautiful as they will ever be. The almond-like scent of heliotrope is faint, the clove-like carnations likewise, but the lavender is pungent compared to them, and not only for the flowers, but also from the fact that Rachel burns the candle Bianca got her that afternoon.
It's in an old candleholder, and it is almost familiar. Well, it is, it's just that Bianca hasn't seen it since... five years ago. But Bianca, in the deep recesses of her memory, remembers it. It was a one-year anniversary gift, painted cream and accented with lavender flowers. Bianca supposes Rachel decided to match them.
But it's so eerily similar to how things used to be. Bianca is sitting and eating in a meal strangely reminiscent of the ones that they used to have before she left.
Bianca could write a piece about this. She can already picture a string quartet — soft violin and soothing cello and viola to balance it all out. Or a piano trio, with a piano and a violin and a cello.
She looks up at Rachel, only to see Rachel looking at her.
"Do I have something on my face?" Bianca asks, because, in all honesty, Bianca cannot think of another reason.
"Oh, no," Rachel says, and looks away. "It's nothing."
«»
The next day, Bianca calls Drew. Drew's voice is grainy through the phone, but by every god to have ever existed, Bianca misses her.
"So. How's Rachel?"
"She's good."
"There's more to the story, I'm sure."
"You know me so well."
"Of course I do, hon. We've been friends for how many years?"
"Too many."
"You sell me short. Anyway, what is going on? Nico and Hazel are in panic mode because you're responding to precisely none of their calls."
"I don't want to."
"Good for you — honestly. Put yourself first for once. Not your career, and definitely not your siblings."
“I can’t just… not take care of them.”
“Sure you can. They’re adults. You can rekindle your relationship with your wife.”
“She’s not really my…”
“Anyone can see you wish she really was,” Drew replies. “Besides, everyone’s fine. Go get your marital bliss or whatever.”
Bianca blushes. “Drew. Tanaka.”
“Bianca. Di. Angelo.”
“I don't... She doesn't..."
"Sure she doesn't. If you can't do everything again, just be friends. Trust me. It'll be better."
"Thanks, Drew."
"And call Hazel. She's better about this than Nico is, you know."
"Fine."
"I have to go — practice is in thirty minutes, and I still need to get there."
"See you."
"Cya. Hope you get it sorted out."
"Thanks."
The phone clicks off. Drew's busy, she always has been. She travels for her soloing work – everyone wants the best violinist in the world – and Bianca and her catch up when they can. Drew’s home base is New York, but Bianca hopes that, if she is to stay in California, that Drew can get a position here for a while.
Bianca pauses. Thinks about Drew's advice. She's usually right about these things – relationships come so easy to her. But Drew hasn't seen Rachel in years, either. But she has seen Hazel recently.
Bianca knows Hazel should be free around now. She picks up the phone, and dials Hazel's number.
Hazel picks up on the second rung. "Bianca? Oh my, we were so worried. Nico and I, that is. This is so unlike you."
"Hi, Hazel. Everything's fine. I'm just..."
"You miss Rachel."
"Yeah." Bianca doesn't have the energy — or the will — to tell Hazel the truth.
"Nico says hi, so does Lavinia. We miss you, but if it makes you happier, stay in California. I'm just... surprised that you would do this."
"I didn't expect it of myself either."
Bianca can hear Hazel's smile on her voice. "The most unexpected is sometimes the best. That being said, nothing much has changed, if anything truly ever changes."
"When have you gotten philosophical on me?"
"Since getting the philosophy degree, obviously."
"Going for the doctorate?"
"Obviously. Lavinia makes enough money that I don't have to worry about it — and from what we have from Father, it's fine. Plus, I could be a professor!”
"That's good. I'll... probably be back soon."
"We miss you."
"I miss all of you, too."
"Have fun down in California, Bianca. I'll see you whenever you come back."
"I'll see you then, too."
The phone clicks off, and Bianca sighs. She hates that she doesn't know what to say to Hazel. She hates that she doesn't know what to say to Rachel. She hates that Drew was right.
Drew's voice rings in her head as it says, "I'm always right."
Bianca snorts to herself. She'd counter with that one time in university when Drew bombed a test, but Drew's not here, and Bianca just has the silent apartment to herself.
One of Rachel's sketchbooks lies on the kitchen table. Bianca recognizes it — it's the one that Rachel brought when they went to the botanical garden.
Bianca, on some odd whim, opens it. She knows she shouldn’t – artists’ work should be their own. But she can’t help herself.
The first page is lovingly detailed drawings of lavender, beautiful and as realistic, and different flowers decorate the pages after it, until one page gives Bianca a pause.
It's herself. It's Bianca, in rendered radiance. The drawing of herself has a small smile on her face as she looks down. Her bangs hang over her face and her hair is in a ponytail. It's achingly real, and Bianca sees herself in it.
Is this how Rachel sees her? She doesn't know, but Bianca feels like she's intruding on a private moment.
She closes the sketchbook, but its drawing bothers her for the rest of the day, for some inexplicable reason that Bianca cannot name.
«»
Bianca makes breakfast the next day. She's not the best cook in the world, but at least she's better than Nico. And her father was never one to cook (and neither was her stepmother, come to think of it), so Bianca would cook, and then Hazel, who was always better than her.
Pancakes were always a family favourite, especially when their parents would go away, and it would just be Bianca, Nico, and Hazel.
Bianca remembers that Rachel also loves pancakes.
Or, she did. But Bianca's pretty sure everyone loves pancakes. So.
As Bianca makes the pancakes, she admires the apartment around her. Rachel's made a dedication to paint all of the walls, as it seems — she started when Bianca still lived with her. Back, a million years ago, when they still lived together. There's flowers along one wall, abstract shapes along another, some fabric pinned to create a beautiful mural of some kind of abstractness with some things that look oddly familiar to Bianca.
Everything here feels so Rachel that Bianca being there feels a violation of the space in itself.
But there are things that remind Bianca of herself, too. Things that Rachel hasn't bothered to get rid of in the years since Bianca's been gone.
The kitchen's still organized the exact same way. There's still a stupid smiley face made with Posca paint pens on one of the backing tiles, a heart with Bianca's signature curved tails, next to one of Rachel's little anatomically realistic hearts (because Rachel couldn't do anything halfway, and Bianca dared her as a joke).
The kitchen tiles were the first that they decided to do that on, and some of the paint has chipped. But Bianca's stupid little doodles that don't even look good sit right next to Rachel's masterpieces. They'd laugh and paint and cry all the same.
It used to be so easy. Bianca didn't care because it was Rachel and that meant everything and nothing all the same.
"Bianca?" Rachel asks groggily, from the door to her bedroom.
"I'm making pancakes."
"Thanks."
"Of course."
The pancakes are done soon enough. Time is no longer an issue to Bianca, for whatever reason. But with her case soon drawing to a close, Bianca's slightly afraid of having to go back to New York.
The realization that she doesn't want to go back to New York is an epiphany Bianca never thought would happen. The realization that she wants to stay with Rachel is even more of one.
But Bianca has a week. A week before she leaves and everything goes back to how it impossibly was before.
That weighs bitterly on her tongue, like the coating of forgotten pomegranate seeds, fermented as to invoke disgust.
"Bianca?" Rachel asks. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, just thinking."
"About what?"
Now Bianca just needs to come up with a convincing lie. "A hot dog is a sandwich."
"Oh, really? I think that categorizing things in categories like that is inherently ambiguous."
"It may be, but categorizing things helps bring peace of mind."
"Stuffing things into categories just makes the boxes too big."
Bianca admits that it's kind of nice to argue with Rachel again, about silly and meaningless things.
«»
The court case will take longer than Bianca expects, as is obvious from the get-go. Bianca has the evidence, though, but the prosecution is much more adamant than Bianca thought it'd be.
Never mind that. Bianca is not altogether terrible at this. She's definitely not the best, but she's good, and she's determined. Every case takes a lot out of her — her faith in humanity, for one — but in the end, it's always worth it.
Is anything ever not?
(Bianca knows seeing Rachel again is worth it. Bianca also, impossibly, knows leaving her was worth it, too.)
But she's at court for most of the day, going home (she shudders at how easily Rachel's apartment has become her home once more), cooking dinner (it's the least she can do), and talking to Rachel, sometimes long into the night.
And so her week goes.
The flowers Bianca bought wilt a little, their smell waning as Bianca's time in California draws to a close. Conversation comes easily now, and Bianca would be lying if she said it wasn't comfortable, if she said that leaving wouldn't hurt.
(Bianca won't admit it, but she's been falling love with Rachel all over again.)
But the week passes too fast, too quickly, and suddenly the case is done (and won) and Bianca is set to leave in a few days' time.
"You're leaving," Rachel states, as only she can, a day before Bianca leaves. The lavender candle is burning, and it smells like lavender throughout the apartment.
"I've got to go back to New York," Bianca says, willing herself not to cry. This isn't sad. Rachel will move on, just like she did before. Rachel hasn't been falling in love with Bianca all over again.
"What if," Rachel hesitates, and Bianca doesn't dare hope, "I don't want you to leave?"
"What?"
"Sorry, just ignore it," Rachel says, all in a hurry, like the words are a fire that catches too quickly.
"I'm not going to," Bianca replies, as if that could change anything. "I'll tell you a secret. I don't want to leave, either."
"Then don't."
"I won't."
That afternoon, Bianca cancels her flight and stays with Rachel.
«»
They don't talk about it. They don't talk about how Bianca decided to start another case, to stay. They don't talk about how Rachel didn't want her to leave. They talk around it, anything else, because Bianca isn't quite sure she's ready for that conversation and she doubts Rachel is either.
But Bianca knows they have to talk about it eventually.
She doesn't want to. Instead, she calls Drew.
"I'm not going back," Bianca says. "Rachel and I agree — I'm staying in California."
"No duh," Drew says. "That's great, though. Glad you're staying with Rachel — chase your own happiness."
"How do I tell Hazel and Nico?"
"Text message, or whatever. You've got to tell them, but it'll be fine. Let's focus on you and Rachel, though. Back together?"
"No."
Bianca can hear Drew's sigh through the phone, through the static. "Just admit it. You're in love with her, she's probably in love with you. She wanted you to stay."
"We haven't talked about it."
"Hon. You're never going to if you don't do it as soon as possible. You're going to be in the 'pining roommates' stage forever. And you’re married! I don't want to be hard on you, but please."
"I know," Bianca says, hoping Drew can hear her rolling her eyes all the way in New York. "What do you know of romance anyway?"
"My mother writes romance novels for a living. They're incredibly lucrative."
"That means nothing. You would rather drink glass than read one of her novels."
"Would you rather I get your auntie Hera on call?"
"No! That would be even worse!"
Drew laughs. "What I'm saying is, just give it a chance. If it doesn't work out, you come back to New York. Why keep waiting? You've been waiting for this for five years. You can't keep waiting because eventually Nico might have another accident, or Hazel might, or they both want you back, and you don't know how to not help you siblings constantly. Just do it for yourself."
"I didn't ask to be psychoanalyzed."
"I'm your best friend. It's my job."
Bianca sighs. "I'll talk to her."
"Good."
"How's your newest piece?"
"I hate Paganini," Drew announces. "I always have, I always will. They want me to do a show, with like one piano accompaniment, at Carnegie Hall. I would rather kill myself."
"You're not called the best violinist in the world for nothing, you know."
"Yeah, but I've been doing his Variations on God Save the Queen for three days now and I want to resurrect and kill him."
"And just how good are you so far?"
"I've started memorizing it," Drew mutters, as if ashamed.
"Exactly. You're insane."
"So was Paganini."
Bianca pauses, hoping Drew can hear her raised eyebrow in the pause.
"Shut up," Drew says. "Anyway, go call Nico or Hazel or text them or whatever."
"Drew."
"Bianca."
"Fine."
"Goodbye!" Drew calls, before hanging up, "Remember to tell your siblings!"
The phone clicks off, and Bianca is left in the apartment, the smell of lavender seeping into the air.
She sighs. Drew's right, as seems to be all too often recently, and she calls Hazel.
It takes three rings of hollow sound for Hazel to pick up.
"Hey, Bianca," Hazel says. "You're at the airport?"
"Actually," Bianca wills herself not to cry, "I'm staying in California."
"With Rachel?"
"With Rachel."
"That's good. See you at Christmastime, or sometime soon?"
"When I can."
"I'll tell Nico," Hazel says suddenly. "Don't worry about it."
"Thanks."
"Of course. Have fun with Rachel."
"I will."
Hazel hangs up. It's odd — it was a short call, but there was so much there. Hazel doesn't sound mad, but then again, she has always been good at concealing her emotions.
Bianca knows Nico's going to be upset. But she'll stay anyways. Suddenly, a country away, Bianca doesn’t care about Nico’s emotions as much as she cares about Rachel’s presence. Which is odd because she wants to start over with Rachel.
But Bianca also knows, in the back of her mind, that that may never happen. But Bianca has always been one to want to be given life in all its pain and beauty.
«»
Bianca buys flowers for Rachel again, as the other ones go to waste. Blue cumins, blue hyacinths, white baby's breath, white daisies, and purple lavender. She can't help but hope that Rachel will like it.
Rachel wants you to stay, the annoying voice in Bianca's head that sounds suspiciously like Drew whispers. She'll be delighted in anything you get her.
Bianca ignores that voice, and stresses anyway.
Because she's bringing these flowers as a reminder of what they need to talk about. She's bringing these flowers to hopefully soften the blow that Bianca still loves Rachel.
So she goes back to the apartment with flowers, in a bouquet. Jane Austen put it best when she said I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever, and so on. Especially, I have loved none but you.
But Bianca is no writer, no artist. Unlike Rachel, Bianca has never been able to draw inspiration from the world, and turn it to silvery honey on paper. Music has always been easier. Bianca doesn't even write lyrics. It's all violet and flute and piano and whatever else catches her fancy — things Drew and her siblings Valentina and Mitchell can play, but that no one can sing.
Maybe when this is all over, Bianca can write a piece for it. Maybe a piano trio. Or a string quartet. Something about Rachel and her. That sounds about right — it can end in heartbreak or romance, depending on how Rachel response, Bianca supposes.
But never mind that.
She arrives at the apartment a little after when she means to. Bianca got the flowers just before dinner, and Rachel and her decided to go out that day, anyway.
Her palms are sweaty, it's like a first date, but slightly to the left. Rachel's as beautiful as ever, a little nervous, though, her hand fiddling with her dress. Bianca's still able to read Rachel well after all these years, but she still wonders why Rachel's nervous at all.
They get Chinese food, the kind that's really, really good, but only because Rachel knows where to go. She takes Bianca to a place that is almost achingly familiar, and the old Chinese lady behind the counter smiles at Rachel and Bianca. Her name's... Eleanor, some recess of Bianca's mind reminds her.
"You're back," she says, nodding at Bianca.
"I am," Bianca says, smiling back.
The food's great, and conversation ends up filling the air between Rachel and Bianca. They're still putting off the big conversation to come.
Never mind that. The food's great.
"I was thinking that maybe you'd like to help paint the new walls?" Rachel asks. "I'd like you to."
"I am altogether terrible at art, but I'd love to help."
Rachel smiles. "Also. Do you want to have dinner with Katie and Travis at some point? Their two kids will be there, but I think that you need to be re-introduced."
"Of course."
They're putting it off. Rachel knows. Bianca knows. Maybe it's because they don't want to have that conversation and all it entails. Maybe it's because Rachel doesn't want to break Bianca's heart again. But whatever it is, Bianca feels even worse by the time that they leave the restaurant and head back.
Or, well, they don't. Instead, Rachel takes Bianca to an oceanside boardwalk. It's late, and there are no stars, but the city lights are a good enough substitute. It smells like lavender.
"We, uh, need to talk about something," Rachel says.
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
The stagnancy hangs in the air. Unlike before, Bianca decides to do something about it.
"I'm still in love with you," she says, all out in a rush, like the words are spilling from the sky in fat rain droplets that come one after the other.
"Thank any and every god," Rachel breathes.
"Sorry?"
"I was about to say the same thing."
Bianca grins, and suddenly she can't stop laughing.
"Why did this take so long?"
"I don't know."
"I never should have left."
"Well, you can remedy that now."
"Really?"
"Just kiss me."
And so Bianca does. It's not perfect, but it's been years, and so it's as perfect as it could be.
«»
Bianca doesn’t stop smiling, even as she wakes up.
She slept late, and Rachel's already gone, an early commitment for her art. Just so she doesn't worry, there's a little note in Rachel's curvy handwriting on the bedside table. Hope it wasn't too jarring waking up. I'll be back around eleven for lunch! — Rachel (P.S. we probably still need to have a conversation, but I don't think the direction it goes will be a surprise.), it reads.
Bianca smiles at it, and the clock reads 9:36. She has an hour and a half before Rachel comes back, and she can't stop smiling.
Bianca doesn't usually eat breakfast, just a cup of coffee, and she decides to call Drew.
"Bianca?" Drew says, over the phone. "What's up?"
"Rachel and I talked," Bianca replies, trying to keep the childish giddiness out of her voice.
"Oh, great. How was it?"
"Great! We still need to have a bigger conversation about what we're doing now, but..."
Bianca can hear Drew smiling. "Great. I told you it'd happen."
"You were right."
"I'm always right, hon."
"Remember that time you lost two truths and a lie, badly?"
"Shut up. Congrats, though. Want me to tell your siblings?"
"No, that would be terrible. I'll tell them, I promise."
"Good. I'm having lunch with Valentina very soon, though, so I have to go, but you're telling me all the details later."
"Talk to you later."
"Absolutely."
The phone clicks off, and Bianca smiles. Maybe that's what Drew and her relationship will be reduced to now — short calls made to update each other on small things. Bianca can live with that. Bianca can live with a lot of things.
But it's around twelve thirty in New York right now — Drew has always liked late lunches — and Hazel and Nico are both bound to be busy, so Bianca holds off calling them.
It's odd. It's almost like a cycle. Bianca was born in Italy, but she soon came to New York, and then California for her law degree. Then she married Rachel and stayed here, until Nico's accident, in which she went back to New York.
And now she's in California. The two cities that could tell Bianca's life story are Los Angeles and New York City, in equal and opposite measures.
But Bianca wouldn't trade her life for anything, now.
And she needs to call Nico. Because he's her little brother, and no matter how upset she gets with him, and no matter how upset he gets with her, Nico is Bianca's only full sibling. That's not to say she isn't close with Hazel, but there are some things that Nico understands that Hazel cannot — like emigrating from Italy. Like the memories of their mother that Bianca finds comforting.
Bianca thinks Maria would've liked Rachel. She always has.
«»
Rachel comes home with flowers. Bianca’s favourite, lavender, and flowerless southernwood and blue salvia and baby’s breath to tie it all together.
“Figured I should get you flowers, too,” she says, smiling almost sheepishly, if Bianca tilts her head slightly and lets herself believe it.
Bianca takes the flowers and puts them into a vase. “I thought I was supposed to be the one to bring flowers.”
“Hey now, I can’t offer you that advantage. I also need to flaunt my wonderful taste in flowers.”
“Naturally,” Bianca replies. “Alternate weeks?”
“Alternate weeks,” Rachel agrees, then pauses. Bianca lets her take her time. “Speaking of, we’re… doing this?”
“Trying again?”
“Yeah.”
“We are,” Bianca says. “Or, I hope we are.”
“We are.”
“Promise I won’t leave again.”
“You better not.”
Bianca laughs, Rachel joining her, and she can smell the lavender.
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if only i could break the chains of disappointment weighing me down (shake off the ghosts that whisper warnings)
It's the middle of the night. Frank Zhang can't sleep. Instead, he picks up his old kid's version of Journey to the West.
read on ao3
(sorry i forgot to do this one :/)
The stick burns, and Frank stares at it.
He does nothing.
It burns up. He collapses. There is nothing else.
And then he wakes up.
(The first time he had that nightmare, he tried to stop it, throw it into the snow. Frank learned quickly. Now, he thinks, he'll just be surprised to not wake up after it burns for real. Or maybe death is like sleep? He supposes he could ask Hazel.)
He wakes up in his bed in the praetors’ quarters.
It's two am, and Frank doesn't have to wake up for another four hours, but the world is quiet and Frank likes it that way. Reyna's sleeping in her room, so Frank walks out to their 'hang out room' - as they like to call it - and turns on the small lamp.
His copy of a kid's version of Journey to the West sits on the bookshelf. Reyna had raised an eyebrow at it, but to him it's a marker of when his childhood was a little easier, a little happier. His mother used to read it to him.
And then she went to war.
His mother was a wonderful woman; she loved more than Frank ever thought possible.
Emily Zhang also left.
Those two halves Frank has never quite been able to reconcile; Emily Zhang, the loving mother, and Emily Zhang, the absent parent. For so much of his childhood, it was his Lao Lao - maternal grandmother in Mandarin - and him.
Smashed pottery, pretty blue and white, and his grandmother’s disappointment.
“Zhang Fai,” she’d trill disappointingly. All of that disappointment could never hide the pain in her voice when she sent him away, could never hide the pain in her voice when she found her daughter to be dead, could never hide the pain in her voice when she spoke of her late husband’s death.
Frank had never been fully certain if his grandmother ever even had a husband. Zhang was her married name; Jade Zhang Yu has always been more Chinese-Canadian than Chinese, despite her pride.
Frank used to know his Tai Poh Poh - great-grandmother, Cantonese instead of Mandarin like the rest of them - or, he met her once in his memory. Her mind was failing her by then, her speech muddled with Cantonese words. Frank understood little - of course, his last Cantonese relative was his great-grandmother. She'd speak and through the curtain of language he could understand bit-by-bit, fragments painting a whole.
She had come from China, escaping Mao Zedong (who his grandmother always intermittedly pronounced as ze-dong or see-tong) and his communist regime with her family, moving to Hong Kong and later Canada.
But from what Frank understood, his great-grandmother was only saying a few Buddhist prayers, maybe intermixed with something else. Something for her final days, something about her late husband, Frank's grandfather.
He had never met Shen Lun, who moved up from San Francisco, to meet Frank's great-grandmother in Vancouver's Chinatown.
Frank likes Chinatown. It's sort of chaotic, but it smells strangely like a home. There's a bakery that makes amazing apple fritters and disappointing ma lai goh, a sort of spongy cake. There's Chinese herbal remedy shops whose aroma floats in the air, baskets upon baskets of herbs like star anise and ginger. There's slightly dirty shops with roast duck hanging in the window, rotating slowly. There's the gate, and the grand dragon dance on every New Years'.
Frank misses Chinatown, all the time. He misses the crowded shops. He knows that the Chinatown he knows is no longer present, he knows that Chinatown's been slowly gentrified over time. He also knows it is no longer the centre of Chinese Canadians in the Vancouver area - Richmond has taken that, but again, it was also where Frank grew up.
(But Chinatown still sounds like home to Frank. And even though he'd never met Shen Lun, he had to bear his mistakes anyway. Filial piety, loyalty to your parents. A never-ending cycle of shame and guilt given from parent to child. Frank is Chinese-Canadian. He finds other ways.)
(And that's not getting to Richmond. Because Frank knows it must've changed in the years he's been gone. Or two years. It was changing fast by the time he left.)
New Rome is too clean, clean to be unnatural. It's odd and strange and kind of weird, but Frank is praetor, and his obligations rest on his shoulders here.
Frank resurfaces back in the present, and takes the copy of Journey to the West off of the shelf. The characters and drawings are achingly familiar, a children's book that is still decently long, due to the nature of how long Journey to the West is.
Frank's grandmother's favourite goddess is Guanyin, or, as she pronounced it the Cantonese way, Ginyam, with a hard g. Goddess of mercy and compassion, a bodhisaatva in Buddhist tellings. Guanshiyin, in her long form. The children's book has a drawing of her; Guanyin sits on the blooming lotus flower, wise and compassionate.
Frank's mother liked her too.
("Mercy is restraint, Frank," Emily said. "It has just a place in war as violence does.")
Frank supposes it is fitting that he likes her too. Taoist gods are much more... well, Frank can't quite place it, but Taoist gods are different than Roman gods. They have different concepts of filial piety and duty attached to them. The Jade Emperor gained power via compassion. Jupiter’s came from force.
Guanyin is nothing but benevolent; she assists Sun Wukong in helping Xuanzang (Frank did not find the other characters as notable; his favourite was always the peaceful Xuanzang, and, well, Sun Wukong is hard to forget). Her one fault, his mother had always said, was that she was a deux-ex-machina for the protagonists. But, as Emily had always reminded Frank, deux-ex-machinas can be good things, too.
"Why are you up at this ungodly hour?" Reyna asks, stepping in place beside him, breaking Frank out of his reverie.
"Just… reminiscing. Had a nightmare.”
“Fair enough,” Reyna says, rolling out her shoulder. “Nothing important?”
“No. You can go back to sleep.”
Reyna smiles, but it’s ephemeral. “You know you can talk to me, right? We’re not super close but we are working together. And you can talk to Hazel.”
“I know. It’s nothing important.”
Reyna nods and leaves him alone to his thoughts and the kid’s version of Journey to the West.
She reminds him of the burden of duty. She’s bore it for all too long. Frank doesn’t know how she did it. He’ll be praetor for just under ten years, and the toll’s already been felt. And alone, too. If Frank’s honest, Reyna has always seemed frightening to him. She’s great at what she does, self-confident and assured in her every move. And duty is something Frank is familiar with - Shen Lun’s stain has long been felt. Frank’s grandmother’s pride had long been kept.
Reyna has a legacy. Of her family and of her own. She may have created it with her sister Hylla, but it is hers nonetheless.
Frank has one too. But his is conflicting. Shapeshifters, prisoners, immigrants, exiles, war heroes.
His mother would've told him he had his own path in life. His grandmother would've told him that children must follow their parents.
If there is one thing the Roman and Taoist gods are in agreement about, it is filial piety. It is loyalty to your parents, to the state. If there is one thing all of his ancestors would have probably agreed on, it would be that.
Obey your parents. Obey the state. Your parents gave you everything; you can never recompensate that.
He puts the kid's copy of Journey to the West back on the shelf.
He wants a good bowl of noodles - whatever it is. Crossing-the-bridge, udon (in Chinese dishes, yes, that was Chinese-Canadian). They don't have any decent Chinese food in New Rome (only terrible Chinese food allowed solely by , and he's not allowed to go to San Francisco, or, gods forbid, Vancouver. Even as praetor).
Maybe he should send one of his distant cousins a message - or his grandmother, if she's still alive. He thinks he could find her. Or perhaps it is more hope.
Plus, the praetors have their own kitchenette. He could probably make something. As long as it can be put in the microwave.
Frank smiles.
He thinks, if his grandmother is alive, she may be proud of him in this moment. For nothing else but where he's come and who he wants to be. For nothing else if that he has turned the Zhang family into what the Shen family could never be.
He thinks, if his mother were here to see him, she would be proud of him. Not for everything he's come to, but simply because she loves him. He thinks Emily Zhang would as well.
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How to Not Panic About Godhood: A Guide by Nico di Angelo
for @persuespost, in the pjo gift exchange! (@ethannku)
Nico di Angelo never expected to become a god. Well, becoming a god isn't something one usually expects - especially if it was completely unintentional. And is it even a good thing at all?
read on ao3!
"Son," Hades says, with the most fondness that his voice ever gets, "there's some monsters blocking the DA entrance in LA. Can you take care of them?"
"Of course," Nico replies, and melts back into the shadows. His cane gets useful some days, but normally he's just doing more organizational skills, and his powers haven’t been affecting him all that negatively recently.
"Son," Hades says, with the most fondness that his voice ever gets, "there's some monsters blocking the DA entrance in LA. Can you take care of them?"
"Of course," Nico replies, and melts back into the shadows. His cane gets useful some days, but normally he's just doing more organizational skills, and his powers haven’t been affecting him all that negatively recently.
For whatever reason, Nico finds himself rather fond of the underworld. Even without the sun, it feels like a home. It feels more like home than anywhere else, he supposes. The underworld, at least, is somewhere that Nico has always belonged in. Not like camp, where he still feels like an outsider. Not in the cities, where it's too busy and feels wrong in time and place. Not in the suburbs, where the idle turning of the streets drives him insane. Not in the country, where the emptiness is often punctured by death.
But that does not mean that the warmth of the upper world is unwelcome; no, it is wonderful to feel the sun and touch the flowers. Nico's stepmother's spring reigns above, now - the flowers are bright and cheerful, and the snow of winter has all but completely melted.
He finds himself in the landmark he chose for LA - a set of buildings that is in no way remarkable. Easier to shadow-travel and hide away when there's not reason to look.
And from there Nico idly heads towards DA, checking to make sure the ambrosia squares are still in his pocket. The passers-by don't stop even to look at his ink-black sword. They're so different. It's completely foreign to him, the people who don't have to worry about one mistake meaning their death.
The years have passed him by, and they blur together now. It's been ten years, and it passes as ten years does - blurringly but at the same time achingly slow.
But he feels stronger these days, and it seems to make it okay, somehow. The shadow-traveling barely tires him out anymore, and everything feels fine. He can summon more skeletons; age has only increased his tolerance for all things deathly.
But on with the mission, Nico supposes.
The DA is as it usually is, but there appears to be four manticores. No matter how good Nico gets, he'll never be able to take on several manticores alone, so skeletons it is.
He takes a few seconds to analyze the situation. The DA swarms with souls, as usual, hesitant and creeping in the corners in light of the manticores. But Nico can't use them - for one, they're souls, ghosts, whatever you want to call them. Unable to work. For another, they're scared.
Skeletons are much easier. They don't have emotions - like fear and cowardice, which ultimately come from the same place, Nico supposes.
It's fine, though. LA is a city; it reeks of death in every corner. And there has to be at least a few cemeteries nearby. And, naturally, there is - the DA is situated near one, how convenient.
Nico summons some skeletons as backup.
"Would you mind moving out of the way?" he asks the manticores. Never hurts to be polite.
One of them lunges at him. Nico sidesteps.
"Well, not feeling very polite or talkative, are we? Shame."
The skeletons approach them and are supremely unsubtle. Sometimes Nico hates working with skeletons.
He summoned six skeletons, so two per manticore, plus a manticore that's all Nico's. He'll let the skeletons do their thing. This manticore is all his.
The manticore charges at Nico, growling on the way. Nico jumps up, backflipping in the process, and lands on the manticore's head.
Go time.
Monsters don't actually just explode, even if it's a killing shot, frustratingly enough. So Nico stabs it straight in its rather ugly head, jumping off as it roars in anger. He lands in front of the manticore, and slashes at its arm, cutting it off. Nico's figured by now that manticores die best when one of their arms is cut off and there's a hole in their head. Or rather, Nico-Percy-Annabeth-Hazel-Leo-Frank-Piper have figured it out.
So he refocuses his efforts and stabs the manticore in the heart - or where it would be. Nico's not entirely sure monsters have organs like humans and, presumably, gods do.
But he digresses. The Romans' stabbing is not all bad; although Nico is a Greek and prefers slashing, stabbing can show its use every once in a while. Case in point, now.
With that manticore dead, or, rather, exploded, Nico looks around. The skeletons are taking care of the remaining two manticores, so Nico gives them a (metaphorical) hand. One of them quite literally does not have a hand. Nico wonders if he pulled it off to beat the manticore with. Probably. Skeletons are brutal and rather single-minded.
And then, with a start, the adrenaline wears off and Nico realizes that his arm really hurts.
And sure enough he looks down and-
Oh.
Oh.
Because the blood he usually sees, the blood as red as any other human's, is gold. And the cut is closing as quickly as a Nico supposes gods heal.
He swipes at it. It's thick, thicker than blood, ichor-thick.
He shadow-travels away with a flash of darkness.
«»
Nico doesn't even think about where he travels, he just travels somewhere. It's a meadow in the middle of nowhere, nothing special, really. The flowers remind him of his stepmother.
The soft grass pads his knees as they sink to the ground, mostly from shock.
He's a god. He's a god. He's a god.
There's nothing else to say. How could there be?
He's a god.
Maybe he should've listened to Will.
("You need to stop!" Will hisses like he always does.
"Stop what?"
"You're hurting yourself. No more powers."
"They're my powers. I know my limits!"
"No. Doctor's orders."
"Go to Tartarus!"
"Doctor's orders," Will says, not even slightly emotional. He looks like he's dealing with a young child.
"No."
"Nico."
"No! Why won't you just understand! I'm perfectly fine!"
"If you keep losing your powers, you'll lose yourself," Will says, as ever a paragon of rationality.
"Maybe I'd rather lose my powers than stop."
"You're so self-sacrificing."
"It was one message. It's not going to hurt me!"
"Nico. I can't keep dating you if you keep doing this."
"Then don't."
For the first time, Will looks shocked at Nico's words. "What?"
"You heard me. I'm not stopping."
"Really? After all we've been through? You're breaking up with me?"
A surge of confidence. "Yes. We're over."
Before Will can get a word in edgewise, Nico shadow-travels away.)
Nico takes a deep breath. It's been ten years. Will was right, though - his powers are the end of him. Gods are gods. They are just as beautiful as they are terrible.
Nico had a lot of arguments with Will over his powers. It's been ten years since they broke up, but those ten years have diminished none of the shame that Will bestowed upon Nico's powers.
Should he have listened?
Nico hasn't dated anyone since he broke up with Will. It's never felt like the right time, for lack of a better word. Underworld duties, duties for everyone.
No. He's been much better since he dated Will. There's no place for regret.
But he's a god. And gods mean something else, too.
("I think being a god must be miserable," Reyna says. It's a lovely afternoon, the sun seeping golden light into the Garden of Bacchus, blue sky painted over with reds and oranges and yellows and blacks. It's frozen over in winter, and Nico knows that the Underworld is a reverse of this frigid cold. They're nineteen and twenty, it's been five years since they met, four since the last war, but nothing much ever changes.
Nico hums in response to Reyna's words.
"They can't change," she continues softly, "or really live. I think that dying and being a god must be close."
"Maybe," Nico says. "But I think it's easier to hope they can."
"They're cruel, the gods," Reyna replies. "Is that what it is to be a god? Is it to be cruel?"
Nico falls silent at that; he can bring up examples, but the gods stand by when cruelties happen. It is just as cruel to be a perpetuator as it is to be a bystander.
"I don't think I could stand immortality," Reyna finishes.)
Could Reyna stand him, stand a friend turned god?
There's nothing stopping him from being identical to every other god. Gods don't change, he knows, it rings in Nico's ears as steadily as the birds chirping in the distant background, as the shadows creeping towards him.
And gods mean things. Gods have things that humans don't - just like how Psyche has souls, Persephone has spring. What is Nico made of? What has become his heart instead of what used to be there, when he was more mortal than immortal?
He is deathless now; and that means things he can never stand. Reyna can't; he can't; no one can.
But some mortals do turn godly; it is not unobserved, after all.
Some turn it down. Like Percy.
That gives Nico an idea.
«»
He reappears on Percy’s fire escape-slash-balcony and knocks on the door. The great, twice-prophecy-hero Percy Jackson appears. He’s in his pajamas (at two o’clock in the afternoon) and nods at Nico, before leading him into the apartment’s kitchen silently.
"Really, Nico?" Percy asks. "Why is it always through the fire escape?"
Nico shrugs and grabs himself a blue cookie off of the plate in Percy's kitchen. “It’s more fun that way. A tradition, if you will.”
Percy rolls his eyes. “Sure. Now, why are you here? You only ever come if you need something.”
That’s a little rude. Even if it is true.
“And I’m not going on another ‘field trip’ to the local graveyard with you. Much less letting you use my blood again.”
“What? Ghosts love son-of-Poseidon blood!”
“Sure. Anyway, what’re you here for?”
Nico grabs a knife, Annabeth’s by its look (she usually has it on her – why not now?) and slices the back of his hand.
It bleeds gold.
“Oh,” Percy says, his eyes momentarily widening. “How’re you feeling?”
“Weird. Nothing’s changed.”
Percy laughs. “That’s with everything with the gods. You could change that, though.”
“I highly doubt-”
“Oh, please. Be our union representative. I’m retiring.”
Nico snorts. “Union representative?”
“Who got the gods to claim all their kids by thirteen? Me. I support the gods paying their child support, Nico.”
“Fair enough.”
Percy smiles. “Anyway, I think this is the second time you’ve truly surprised me.”
“What was the first?”
“When you said you had a crush on me! I thought you hated me!”
“I should’ve. I have terrible taste in men.”
“Hey!”
It feels good to laugh; laughter feels a lot like home.
“Anyway, need anything?”
“Another blue cookie.”
“Besides that?” Percy asks, handing Nico another cookie.
“Probably… I don’t know. Do you think gods can change?”
“Yes,” Percy says instantaneously. “Look at Apollo. Look at Athena. She’s okay-ish with me now!”
“Thanks,” Nico says. “Anyway, do you have any guesses to why I’m a god?”
“No, but from now on whenever anyone argues with me I’ll just say you’re a god. No one can disagree. I need you to do a well-timed signal too, though. I can’t wait to tell everyone. My cousin’s a god!”
Nico rolls his eyes. “I am not helping you with that.”
“It’d be funny.”
“Maybe once or twice,” Nico laughs. “Does this mean I’m your favourite cousin?”
“Hmm. Well, Hazel’s never tried to kill and/or doom me…”
“Of course.”
“I lied. I have no favourites. Except Thalia is my least favourite.”
Nico snorts. “Is it because she tried to strike you with lightning?”
“Yes.”
“Thirteen, no, fourteen years ago.”
“Yes.”
Nico nods. “That’s fair.”
Nico continues munching on the blue cookie, while Percy does the same.
“You know I’ll always think of you as my cousin, right?”
“Yes, of course I know.”
“Great. Because even godhood won’t be an escape from me.”
“Nevermind. Get out of my life.”
“Never. Anyway, are you staying here, or?”
“I’m going back to the underworld. Reporting for a mission, et al.”
Percy nods. “See you sometime?”
“See you sometime,” Nico promises, and fades back into the shadows.
«»
“Welcome back, son,” Hades says. “The mission was successful, I presume.”
“Yes, Father, it was.”
Hades gives a single nod, as to dismiss Nico.
“I believe I am a god now,” Nico tells him.
Hades gives another nod. “It appears people have begun to think of you as a god, and as thus you are. The effects will start to set in. Do not leave until you are in control of your godly form.”
“I see,” Nico lies. He, in fact, does not see. “I should take my leave now, Father.”
He leaves towards his rooms.
Nico di Angelo, god of something. It sounds odd, but it could work, maybe. He could change the gods.
He just has to make sure the gods don’t change him first.
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all my life i've been so lonely all in the name of being holy (and still, you'd like to think you own me)
Valentina Diaz is a lot of things to a lot of people, but none of those are her own; those are all false facets of an imaginary person that Valentina never could and never will be. Or: five words others think of Valentina as, and her own opinion in that matter.
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trigger warnings: none
One
If there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it's unforgettable, Alex thinks. She is a tempest; a tempest of which stormed into his heart two months ago and broke it today.
He can still smell her perfume on the edges of his apartment; it seems to linger even though Valentina herself is long gone. The perfume smells of honeysuckle and hope, hope she seems to forget to inspire.
Oh, well. Valentina dated Alex for two months and he is not surprised. His friends had all warned him, a slough of "she only dates people for a maximum of three months" and "she's going to break your heart". He would just be another in her long line of exes, they said, and they were right.
Oh, well.
Alex likes fun, and Valentina was fun. It wasn't serious, she didn't even really break his heart. But she sort of did all the same, like a good memory that, in the light of its passing, renders it more sad.
But he still wasn't sure how he would move on, if he ever would completely. Stuck in heartbreak while also having moved on long ago, a strange limbo that Alex couldn't seem to shake no matter what he tried.
But for some reason, Alex didn't care. Bittersweet as it was, Valentina Diaz is not someone Alex would ever want to forget, or go back before they dated.
It was weird, but perfectly natural at the same time.
After all, if there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it's unforgettable.
«»
Two
If there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it's shallow. Piper's never found her sister to be all that interesting or deep, she just seemed to care for nothing but boys and breaking their hearts.
Well, most of Piper's siblings are like that. They don't care about people, they care about things. Material over emotional. Which is why Piper cannot stand her siblings. They're terrible, terrible people, only seeming to care about pink and love and dating and not the actual people behind them.
They're so fake, Valentina most of all. Because she pretends to care, even when everyone knows she very much does not. At least Drew has the decency to embrace how terrible she is.
Valentina pretends to care. She breaks heart after heart, all boys and girls who don't know what they're in for when it comes to Valentina Diaz.
And Valentina Diaz is a terrible, terrible person. She breaks hearts without remorse, she cares for nothing but the jewels adorning her neck and ears, she wouldn't know true love if it hit her upside down in the head.
Valentina Diaz hates Silena Beauregard just as much as Drew, too. Piper may have never met Silena, but she was a hero. That's what everyone says, except for the Aphrodite Cabin.
Honestly, Piper doesn't know how they can do that. How they can hate someone who clearly isn't in the wrong.
But, if Piper's being honest, she doesn't really care to know her siblings, and neither do they care to know her. Because her siblings are terrible, terrible people, and Piper most definitely is not.
Because at least Piper has the decency to care.
And just like every other one of Piper's siblings, the one word to describe Valentina Diaz is shallow.
«»
Three
If there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it is disagreeable. Adelita Diaz has find her cousin to be all too self-important.
Because something changed about Valentina Diaz when she was fourteen. Because Valentina Diaz holds herself like someone who has no experience with things, because Valentina speaks like someone tired with fate. What could she ever feel tired of?
Sure, Valentina’s mother is long-dead or long-gone - everyone around them talks too much about unimportant things and too little about important things when it comes to the mysterious woman who is Valentina’s mother - and Adelita doesn’t care much to listen, either.
Valentina Diaz has never been much of a concern to Adelita Diaz, yet Valentina bothers her all the same. Valentina goes through boyfriends (and girlfriends and partners in general) as fast as Adelita goes through books.
Which is to say, all too quickly.
But besides that, Adelita has never quite known how to act around Valentina. Sure, they're cousins, but Valentina changes like the fall winds. When Adelita thinks she has Valentina down - like she did until they were both fourteen - and then Valentina changes radically, and suddenly Adelita's blindsided by her cousin's changing. And then Adelita gets used to the new Valentina, and suddenly Valentina goes back to Old Valentina with the flighty dating, and then Valentina changes once more.
Valentina changes like the fall winds, and she doesn't slow down enough for Adelita to catch up.
And that's it, Adelita would say. Valentina is a cacophony that changes meter every few seconds. Adelita can never understand her cousin; Adelita can never sympathize with her cousin.
And because of that, the one word to describe Valentina Diaz is disagreeable.
«»
Four
If there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it is flaming. After all. Alice Miyazawa has always loved her best friend. Valentina is a tempest, a heartbreaker, but she's also fun. Just what Alice wants in a best friend.
Valentina isn't like Drew with a heart of snow; her heart is made of fire instead, burning and warming all the same. All that Alice wants for a best friend.
The boys she falls in love with only to fall out of love soon enough are just trees in a grand forest she rages in; Alice is not a tree. She is a person warming themselves by a hearth-fire after a cold night; Alice sees the life under the fire that Valentina is.
Fire is Valentina, Alice muses. Nothing more, nothing less.
Alice loves Valentina because she's fun, because although she may be flighty and may be careless with others' hearts, she'll never be careless with Alice's. Valentina will never be careless with her friends' hearts.
And Alice is Valentina's friend.
So the next time Alice gets broken up with someone, she'll sit on Valentina's couch with her friend and cry over ice cream and the best hot chocolate ever - because Valentina always makes excellent hot chocolate.
(Seriously. Is it an Aphrodite thing or is Valentina just that good at hot chocolate of all things?)
But there's no way in Hades that Alice would ever tell one of her friends to date Valentina. There's not way in Hades that Alice would ever set Valentina up with someone.
Because she doesn't want her friends to get their heart broken.
After all, through thick and thin, the one word to describe Valentina Diaz is flaming.
«»
Five
If there is one word to describe Valentina, it is unshakeable. Lacy admires her sister more than she'll ever tell.
Valentina, who can easily come back from everything. Valentina, who bounces back from tragedy and becomes their shoulder to cry on.
Lacy can rely on Valentina like no one else.
Because at least Valentina won't betray them like Silena did. Because at least Valentina won't twist her love into cruelty like Drew. Because at least Valentina won't expect them to be people they aren't like Piper. Because at least Valentina cares enough to leave her mask on and keep them safe.
Valentina has always been Lacy's favourite sibling. She's the person who taught Lacy how to apply makeup, how to select her outfits. Lacy has always looked like a doll, one of those creepy dolls that haunt suburban Southern homes, but Valentina tells her it makes her beautiful, tells her to lean into it.
And so Lacy does. And Lacy can rely on Valentina.
It's a few days after the Titan War. Valentina smiled at her through the mirror, raising her dagger up to apply her eyeliner. Lacy copied that motion, and it's messy, but Valentina smiled even more, and gently helped Lacy to get it right.
Lacy's young, they all are. But being part of the Aphrodite Cabin means something. It means something more than what it should. It means a certain responsibility, a certain awareness of her body that no thirteen-year-old should have. It's a silent obligation they all have. And Valentina bears it best, somehow. Valentina can carry the rest of them to a home they will never have.
They don't talk about it, but Drew once remarked something that they all know too dearly: beautiful women have unhappy fates. Lacy supposes it applies to everybody.
But it never seems to affect Valentina all that much.
And because of that, the best word to describe Valentina Diaz is unshakeable
«»
+ One
Valentina does not know who she is.
She feels terrible for breaking so many hearts. Alex was the most recent. She feels like she has to warm her friends. Like Alice. She feels like she has to portray a mask. Even to Piper, her sister. She feels like she has to be more mature. Like with Adelita and Lacy.
Romantic relationships are so easy, Valentina thinks. In romantic relationships, she doesn't have to be committed. She can casually date. Alex knew what was going to happen. He knew what he was getting into. Friendships are worse, family is worse.
With Alice, she never feels truly like herself. Alice sees what she wants, and she sees the Valentina as her best friend. Best friend is a scary term; it never seems to mean what people think it should. Best friend means too much. It sets Alice apart. Valentina doesn't do close relationships. So she'll make Alice her hot chocolate and don the mask of Alice's Best Friend, and it's so different from Valentina's Daughter of Aphrodite mask, and Valentina's Good Older Sister mask, and Valentina's Indifferent Beauty mask.
She shows so many people masks. All she is is masks, buried over and over and over each other, not a single one showing who she is.
She is a jewel, facets upon facets of equally beautiful, equally wanted. They are facets owned by many and owned by few, but none of those facets are owned by Valentina.
She wants to be rough, a diamond uncut. She wants to be coal, messy and dirty and being everywhere possible. She wants to be obsidian, strong and unshakeable.
She is her masks, her masks are her, but they are not everything. Valentina has never been anything but her masks.
She knows all her ex-boyfriends and most people at camp - including Piper, her own sister - see the Daughter of Aphrodite mask, or the Indifferent Beauty mask, depending on how well they know her. Alice sees Alice's Best Friend mask, and so does Julia, Alice's other best friend who doesn't like Valentina all that much. Oh well. And Valentina knows her half-siblings except Piper see the Good Older Sister mask.
And they are her masks, and nothing more. Valentina has never been anything but her masks.
So, if you asked Valentina, and she was being truthful, she would say that she does not know who she is.
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would you hate me (if i told you i wish you didn't exist?)
If Bianca di Angelo has a god, it would be duty. If Bianca di Angelo had a choice, it would be freedom. Or: Bianca di Angelo is the lesser and least between her and Nico. Her duty is him, but his is not her. And, through the years, she begins to hate her duty.
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Remember that day when your mother died and never came back and suddenly you were supposed to step into her too-large black heels that clicked across the floor?
Remember that day that you know your brother forgot but you remember all too much?
(the River Lethe is not as strong for you, the girl who is the forgotten dead)
Remember that day when everything you knew inexorably changed, and you were stuck with taking care of your younger brother?
(you were eleven. you were eleven. you were eleven.)
But he is nine. He has no one else. You have no choice.
"Take care of your brother, my daughter," your mother said. She never tried to tell Nico to take care of you.
"Take care of your brother, my daughter," your father said. For all he seems to favour you, he still loves Nico more.
"Take care of your brother," they both say, until they don't say anything else, both having retreated to the dark recesses of the earth, one dead and the other deathless.
You know who your father is by now. He is the Infernal Zeus. He is the ruler of where all turn anonymous. He is Hades.
Hades Agesilaos, he who leads people away. Hades Polydegmōn, ruler of many. Hades Klymenos, the notorious. Hades Eubuleus, giver of good advice.
Nico is your father's favourite versions of himself - Hades Klymenos, Hades Eubuleus. You are his least favourites - Hades Agesilaos, Hades Polydegmōn.
But to be honest to yourself, your father is not where the rot in you began, and nor will he be where it ends. Your mother and your brother own those two.
Your mother, who never loved you quite as much as Nico, who never loved you quite enough, is where it began. She lit the light through the dark for you, but soon she realized Nico was the better of you two, and stayed behind to help him, only giving you a match to lead your way.
Nico has always been the better of you two. He was much more worth Maria's torch.
Gods have epithets, you know, and if your mother had one, it would be dark-eyed. Not the same as bright-eyed Athena, not the same as awesome Persephone. Dark-eyed Maria, you would write if you could, long epics matching Homer's.
You are not an Ancient Greek, you know, but they did value the large, brown eyes of Hera. They called them bull-eyes.
You have your mother's eyes and your mother's sorrow. She had a younger brother too, and your grandmother would give everything for.
Your disgraced mother, marrying a man older and unknown, was not worth your grandmother's time like your uncle.
You carry your mother's regret on your shoulders, but she has retreated to the dark recesses of the earth and shall never come back out. She is you, you are her, and you bear her mistakes just as well as her regrets.
Your father was next in the deep rot. Fearsome Hades, ruler of the dead. He offered your mother a palace, and she would not take it.
You wish she did.
Your father would offer your mother everything and then some, if only to see her smile stay a little longer, and not be dwarfed in the anonymity of death. Your father, who was married to your mother only by mortals' standards, and whose marriage to your stepmother caused her scorn on you.
Awesome Persephone, they say, terrified. You think that you'd like Persephone.
Your father loved your brother, you know. Your father loved Nico more than the River Lethe loves memories.
Your father did not love you quite as much.
He had expectations, expectations you could never fill. Only a martyr could, and maybe in the anonymity of death he could realize you tried.
But you are not dead. Maybe it would be better if you were.
And after your father's rot comes Nico's, unintentional but painfully there anyway.
Duty is the only god you'll ever pray to. Nico, who picked your mother's Catholicism up and finds it satisfactory, does not have the same struggle.
But duty is the god your father and mother set in front of you. Your mother set God, a visage of perfection, in front of Nico. She told you that you must settle for duty.
Well, duty is the god your mother and father chose for you. You wish to escape its temple to the one of freedom, open skies, and nothing but the road beneath your feet.
You cannot run. And therein lies the problem.
Your mother has died, your father has left, and it's just you and Nico. Your god of duty has forbade you from leaving also.
For the casino's doors glint as tantalizingly as always, just out of reach. Nico will never leave. He loves the casino, with its loud splendour. As daughter of death, illusions have never enticed you just as much as Nico.
The Mist has never worked for you, either. No one knows. The River Lethe and the Mist and other illusions are not things that can.
And Nico will play until you can leave, and you cannot leave until Nico is done playing.
You stare out your window every day, wondering how Nico never notices the buildings being put up faster than they should, the technological advancements outside.
You want to smash the window, jump out, and be free. But duty is your god, and Nico is your duty.
But you leave, after a few months. You don't dare mention that you were never tricked by the casino at all.
And Maine is different. You think that surely Nico will realize the differences now, but he hasn't. And you have been lying for so long that you do not know how to tell the truth.
And Maine is freedom, a little more than the casino. You want to run up the paths and leave the school behind forever, but Nico is there.
"Take care of your brother, my daughter," your mother whispers to your mind again.
"Take care of your brother, my daughter," your father whispers to your mind again.
"Take care of your brother," they both say. You have not seen them since that fateful, impossible day, where lightning struck indoors. Yet they haunt you always, placing duty at your altar and tearing freedom away. You are twelve, and you should not be told this, but you listen anyways.
You love them still, though. And the candle in your window is for them.
But Maine leaves as quickly as it had come, and suddenly, you don't have to lie about the gods anymore.
And with it comes an offer. The tantalizing taste of freedom, offered to you by the star-wreathed Zoë Nightshade, is tempting enough.
But what pushes you over the edge is that Nico will be safe.
You do not intend to stay long in the Hunters, not at all. Just until a years' time. You will stay the same age, and you may finally be able to breathe.
It's impossible to say no.
The star-wreathed Zoë Nightshade offers you the promise of freedom, and you take it.
I pledge myself to the Goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the comfort of civilization, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the Hunt.
You say the pledge. The star-wreathed Zoë Nightshade knows you do not accept it like the others do. She knows that you will not stay.
But she lets you in anyways.
Nico stares at you with betrayal. But you must leave. Your duty is a noose tightening around your neck, Nico is a noose tightening around your neck, and you cannot take it off.
But the star-wreathed Zoë can. And you let her.
He will be safe, you know. The kind-eyed Percy Jackson has no meaning of hurting him.
But all-too soon you are swept in a quest, a task too daunting. The star-wreathed Zoë Nightshade dislikes the kind-eyed Percy Jackson and the open-hearted Grover Underwood, and clashes with the lightning-born Thalia of Zeus, but she trusts you.
And, like usual, you are not quite allowed your own opinion.
It's easier, agreeing, than disagreeing.
You love Nico. But two will die on this quest, and between the five of you, you are the one least important.
You know you are soon to leave to the dark recesses of the earth and join your mother in safe anonymity.
You know you will die in the desert.
And you see the Hades figurine, the figurine of your father, and it's just what Nico needs.
"Take care of your brother, my daughter," your mother whispers. You think she sounds disappointed.
"Take care of your brother, my daughter," your father whispers. He may love you more for this.
"Take care of your brother," they both say. You think the Hades figurine may be what they need for that.
And so you tell the kind-eyed Percy Jackson to give it to Nico, and you let yourself be taken into the dark recesses of the earth.
You wake up.
It's dark, darker than the moonless night, and ghosts are clustered around the banks of a river - the River Styx, you've heard it been called - and a single boatman, operating a too-small ferry for the amount, drifts across the river towards the bank you are on.
He notices you, and pales. "Alright, c'mon," he says. "Can't leave the boss's daughter on this side of the Styx."
"Take care of your brother, my daughter," your mother's voice whispers in the deep recesses of your mind.
"Take care of your brother, my daughter," your father's voice says, much louder, much closer.
"Take care of your brother," they both whisper, and you consider the ferryman's words.
And you look at his outstretched hand, and shake your head.
"Can't stay on this side of the Styx if you want Elysium," he tries to persuade you.
You shake your head.
"Alright, then. Gotta tell the boss, then, that his daughter refuses to enter domos Haidou," he says, shaking his head.
You take a step backwards and leave to the bright world of the living. You will not come back alive, you know, but you are still here.
The world of the living, or at least your part of it, is in disarray. Nico refuses to move on and has run away. The kind-eyed Percy Jackson has attempted to find him, but you know the truth. Nico's constant seances are pulling you towards him, but you disagree. Nico will never move on.
You have to help him. It is only your duty.
You send the kind-eyed Percy Jackson iris messages, hoping he can find Nico, and sure enough, he does.
The kind-eyed Percy Jackson appears at Nico's next seance, and you show yourself.
"You have to forgive," you tell him. It is true; he cannot keep his grudges forever.
You are long-dead, by now, and Nico has to accept it. It is not the kind-eyed Percy Jackson's fault. It is not the star-wreathed Zoë Nightshade's fault. It is not the open-hearted Grover Underwood's fault. It is not the lightning-born Thalia of Zeus's fault.
It is your fault alone. You made your bed; you must lay in it.
You leave, to the dark recesses of the earth, and this time you accept the ferryman's offer.
Cerberus stands at the gates, and watches you go through. You are one of the dead, no more recognizable than the quietest dead or the most heroic dead.
You are judged, and pushed towards the Fields of Elysium, the paradise.
It feels hollow.
But the River Lethe is there, and it circles the Isles of the Blessed.
The River Lethe has never worked on you, but you hope it will now. Once reborn, you will not be yourself; you will be someone else.
Someone else sounds a lot like freedom.
And so you drink from the river.
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thirteen rules for being a demigod
Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. I'm your older sibling, and I've seen that you already have been told the basics - thanks for that, Kayla - but there's another thing you should know. The thirteen rules for being a demigod. Or, what you need to know.
just realized i forgot to post this so here it is
trigger warnings: mentions and discussions of death of minors, death in general, and neglectful parents, but it's not worse than the percy jackson series as a whole, so in this case, if you read the series, you can read this.
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1. You're a soldier first and a person second. You are a nameless soldier among many, just another soldier fighting. Your efforts will be laid to waste over time, and by a few centuries from now, it doesn't matter what your name is or who you fought. The ones you fought came back, anyways. For every monster you kill, there's always more. Every monster comes back. It is your job to fight them, by birth and nothing else. You'll learn to live to fight and fight to live, and you might even enjoy it in time. Soldiers are what we are, there's no sugar coating it.
2. If you don't trust, you're dead. Trust everyone at camp. They are your fellow soldiers. If you don't trust them completely, you're dead. If you're caught with them and manticores and lastrygonians, and you don't trust them completely, you will both die. Don't make that mistake. If you can't trust them with your secrets, you have to at least trust them with your life. Or you die. Please. Don't argue, just trust us.
3. Heroes come a dime a dozen. There are seven Greek heroes in our generation - Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, Piper, Jason, Leo, Nico. Everyone else gets caught in the wayside. You will not be a hero. Percy Jackson might be, but you will not be. Heroes are rare; you will not be one of them. Well, we're all heroes in our own way, but heroes that myths are made of? Neither of us will ever be one.
4. You’re probably going to die before you turn fourteen. Demigods don’t live long. Too bad. The rest of us are going to die too. Join the club, I guess. There's not much else to say, but I'd advise getting a will ready - that way, when you do die, you have something concrete to determine who gets what and what you want to say to everyone. We've all been to more funerals than we can count, and I'd rather yours not be one of them, but sometimes these things happen.
5. Your godly parent doesn't care about you. To your godly parent, you're just one of seven, eight children. Gods don't care about mortals - and as much as we like to pretend, we're more mortal than godly. Get used to it. The only ones who care are Dionysus, Poseidon, and Apollo. Aphrodite and Demeter if we stretch it a little. Gods don't care about their children, and their children include you. Sorry, not sorry. The rest of us have to deal with it too, you're not alone, at least.
6. If you're not careful, the mortals around you can die. Look. We've all been there. Monsters can very well interfere with mortal matters, and people can die because of that. If you're in a car and a manticore flips it, everyone else in the car could die too. If you're on the bus and a monster bursts in, the other people could die. Be careful. Don't get too close to mortals. If you do, keep them at arm's length. Look, you can chance it. But don't expect too much. And I'm not entirely certain mortals will ever be able to understand what being a demigod is like.
7. Everyone you meet because of godly matters will probably die before they turn fourteen. Look. We already established you might die before you turn fourteen, but so will everyone else. You all have varying levels of scent, but hey, fourteen's the average for people who come to camp. You're extremely likely to die before you turn eighteen. Every extra day you live after fourteen is a blessing. Keep it. And it's a blessing for those around you, too. We live, we die. Makes you think about mortality more than most.
8. Prophecies screw you over, they really do. All of us hate prophecies. If you get a prophecy, say goodbye to your hopes of college. Hey, you might survive, but it's astronomically low. No, Percy is an outlier. By the way, you're not allowed to hate Rachel because of this. Don't kill the messenger and all that. Rachel can't control it, she became Oracle because who else could? She has the visions and she's mortal - two important points. It's not her fault. However, you can blame Apollo, the Fates, whatever. We're all victims here.
9. Get ready for nightmares. Demigods get nightmares, and those nightmares are pretty bad - sometimes it's like astral projection, others it's visions of the past or the future. It's like our own little fortune-telling, but always negative. They're not pleasant, that's for sure. But you get them, and you can't just stop them. Sorry, but it's just life. Our life, that is. If you wake up sweaty in the middle of the night with a terrible thing on your mind, it's the demigod-ness. At least you can remember them, I guess.
10. You may not be a killer, but you'll have to kill. Sometimes we can't control these things. We are born to be soldiers, and soldiers kill the enemy. Sometimes the enemy isn't human. Sometimes that hurts more. Just be careful. And you'll turn yourself into a soldier soon enough. You'll have to kill. I'm sorry. We all do. If it provides some comfort, none of us like this. If all of us had a choice, we wouldn't be demigods. I'm sorry.
11. You're not alone. Look, all of us came from less-than-ideal conditions. We've been kicked out of schools, our parents are usually single parents. Sometimes we can't talk to them about the monsters. Sometimes they're not alive. Sometimes you have a real evil stepparent. No matter what happens, most of us already know about that. Dyslexia. ADHD. We all have it. All of us demigods have shared experiences that way, and we all have shared ideas of the world at large. You're not the only one of us to experience something.
12. There is hope. Someday, if you survive past eighteen, you can move to New Rome across the country with the Roman demigods - I'm sure I've mentioned them before - and live the rest of your life without ever having to look over your shoulder just in case. Someday, you'll be able to live, not just survive. We all survive so that we may be permitted to live, and that is closer than anyone thinks.
13. Camp is like home. Camp is like a home, here. We're like a weird, pseudo-family. We have your back. Someday we know you'll associate strawberries and late nights with the bonfire with home, someday you'll be able to breath here as easy as ever. This is home, with your half-siblings and your friends and even Chiron and Mr. D - they're kind of like pseudo-parents. I promise, someday this place will feel like a home. I promise.
Got it? Good. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. Or, alternatively, welcome to a home. Welcome to somewhere you don't have to hide away in, little sibling.
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dresses, but more importantly, waffles
Both Drew and Bianca have a day off - and so they spend their day doing one of their favourite activities - shopping.
@drewtanakaweek. for day two, two days late.
read on ao3!
Drew's day started out as most do in the lull of a midsummer weekend, sleepy and late with a blue, blue sky. Drew's free - her internship at a cosmetologist's and her cosmetology studies are both off for today - and the world seems to be begging for a free day for Drew.
Or, it will be. For now, Drew is content in calmly staying in bed. Or, she was, until someone decided to throw open her curtains.
"Rise and shine, lazy," Drew's sort-of best friend, sort-of girlfriend, and roommate Bianca says.
"Asshole," Drew mutters. "Why does it matter to you? We don't even share a room!"
"And? It's a lovely day. We have a shopping date."
"We're not dating."
"What do you call it, then?"
"Something between dating and not."
Bianca rolls her eyes. "Dear Drew, how about queerplatonic-ing?"
"Whatever goes. Floats your boat. Drinks your tea."
"It's 'cup of tea'."
"Sorry, I can't hear you over your annoyingness and impertinence."
Bianca snorts, shaking her head. "Sure."
"Plus, don't you have a crush on that Rachel girl?"
"Drew!"
Drew shrugs lazily. "What about it?"
"Do I have to full-name you?"
"Maybe."
"Fine. Drew Tanaka, I do not have a crush on Rachel Elizabeth Dare!"
"Hmm. Can't hear you over the denial."
Bianca rolls her eyes. "I am not in denial. Anyway, shopping?"
Drew bolts up. "Yes. I need to get a dress or something. I realized yesterday that I have a stunning lack of dresses - only seven, and like five aren't even everyday dresses. So I need more everyday dresses. Where did my dresses go?"
"You could make them yourself, you know. And they'd look great besides if you tried it."
"Too lazy."
"Hmm. Fair. Anyway, get changed or whatever. Let's go to the waffle place for breakfast."
"You had me at shopping, and now you want to sweeten the deal with waffles? I'm so in."
"Waffles are the key to your heart, dear Drew."
«»
The mall is one of Drew's favourite places. Of course, they start at the waffle place. Bianca and Drew have spent countless mornings this way. In fact, it's come to the point where the waitress who usually serves them knows their orders by heart and their names by memory.
"The usual?" she asks. Her nameplate reads Lou Ellen, and her knowing smile makes both Bianca and Drew smile.
"Of course," Bianca says. "Which reminds me. How's your teaching degree going?"
"Great! I'm going to get my certification soon, and I'm almost done all my classes. What about your law degree?"
Bianca rolls her eyes. "Pretty difficult, but it's challenging in a good way. Chugging along, though. I'm sure I'll get it soon."
"And you, Drew?"
Drew shrugs. "The entire cosmetology thing's going well. Mother has this idea to help me set up my own company, but I need to get the degree first. And I don't really know if I can handle a company. Actually, that sounds super privileged, now that I think about it."
Lou Ellen snorts. "It's fine. But remember to live your life for yourself over anyone else. Anyway, I'll go get your waffles now."
"Thanks, Lou Ellen!"
"Thanks!"
«»
The waffles are as excellent as always. Bianca picks up the bill and they thank Lou Ellen once again and head out.
"Doesn't Rachel work at the art store nearby?" Drew asks.
"Drew. Stop trying to set me up with Rachel."
"Hmm... No."
"Drew."
"No."
Bianca rolls her eyes. "Dear darlingest Drew, please stop setting me up with Rachel."
"How about no. Oh, and look over there - it's the Lego store!"
"I'm going to ignore that obvious topic change in favour of Lego. You get away this time."
"You're going to let me get away with it every time."
"Shhh. You can't reveal my weaknesses."
Drew raises an eyebrow. "Lego?"
"Yes, but also Nico and Hazel both love Lego. And so does Leo. Actually, all our friends love Lego."
"Seems like we have a pattern on our hands."
"We like Lego."
"Yeah, there's a pattern."
"Definitely. Anyway, is that a Lego Botanical set? Look how-"
"It's beautiful."
Bianca smiles. "Can we afford it?"
"There's the problem."
It's a beautiful set, naturally, one of the Lego Botanical Collection ones. It's the Wildflower Bouquet, according to its labeling, and it's really nice.
"If we buy it we might not have enough money for the dresses."
"Dammit. Keep going, then."
«»
They reach the store eventually. Eventually.
"Look at that one!" Drew exclaims. It's a dress; the skirt is full of pink tulle, layers upon layers of the palest pink possible. The bodice is more solid and cream-coloured, and separating the two halves is a white ribbon. It's the kind of dress little girls get, but sized up appropriately. And without an overload of sparkles, unfortunately.
"You'd look great in that," Bianca says. "But what's the price tag?"
"My budget's a hundred thirty, price tag is... ninety dollars!"
"Hell yeah," Bianca grins. "Wonder if they have a blue matching one. For reasons."
"Reasons."
"Yes, reasons."
"Wait, I was supposed to get an everyday dress."
"Oh well."
"Oh well," Drew agrees.
"You have to try it on, though," Bianca says. "What if it doesn't fit?"
"It better."
Bianca snorts, before suddenly growing excited. "Look, there's a blue one - we could match!"
Drew grins.  "We'll have to try them on first."
«»
"We can match now!" Bianca exclaims. "Quick, what are some fun date-slash-not-date ideas we can use them for?"
"Fancy restaurant?"
"High tea?"
"As long as there's food, I'm in."
Bianca laughs. "Are you, perhaps, a connoisseur?"
"Not even close."
"Oh, I see. Within time, then."
"Maybe, maybe not. Do you think I have enough money?"
Bianca snorts, and shakes her head quickly.
"Anyway, I forgot to get everyday dresses."
"Oh well."
"Oh well."
"Anyway, want to check out the jewelry store? We'll probably be unable to afford anything under any kind of realistic budget, but it's fun."
"Why don't we go to Claire's?"
Bianca's face lights up. "You know me so well. I want more snake earrings."
"Of course you do."
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it was a march we made towards ruin and despair (but we held hands all the while)
Percy has spent years trying to convince himself he's in love with Annabeth. But she has been too - after all, she just asked for a divorce. And Percy accepted.
percabeth divorce fic! this has been sitting in my brain for a while but here it is! i actually wrote 93% of it today in one sitting. the other seven percent was like when i first had the idea three days ago.
anyway.
trigger warning divorce i guess???
read it on ao3!
“Percy,” Annabeth says, late at night, after the kids have gone to sleep.
Percy’s surprised. Annabeth barely talks to him these days. “Yes?”
She sighs, and takes in a deep breath. “I want a divorce.”
Percy’s surprised. But he feels strangely… relieved? “Okay. But what about Andy and Alex?”
“I don’t know. Percy, all I know is this isn’t working for us. We don’t make each other happy. We barely speak!”
Percy sighs. “You’re right.”
“I am?”
There was a time when she would say ‘of course I am’ or ‘I’m always right’. Not for the first time, Percy wondered where those times had gone.
The answer was that they had been lost somewhere between now and then, of course.
“I suppose.”
“You’re not… angry.”
“Did you expect me to be?”
Gods, this is the longest conversation they’ve had in months, maybe years. How did they ever let their relationship become like this?
"A little," Annabeth admits. "We don't really know each other anymore."
"You're right," Percy found himself saying.
"I wish I wasn't."
«»
"The war's over!" Annabeth shouts. "We can do anything!"
Percy laughs. "We can. What's first on the schedule?"
"Let's try to finish senior year with no more complications, huh?"
"You know I can't promise that, Annabeth."
"Well, we'll just have to come as close as we can."
Percy grins at Annabeth, and she grins back.
"I love you," he says.
"I love you too."
Maybe if he keeps saying it, 'I love you' will stop feeling like a lie.
But that doesn't matter, because someone remarks on them being a perfect couple and Percy's smile seems a little more forced, a little more fake. He reaches for Annabeth's hand anyways.
He loves Annabeth. He does.
(And he ignores the part of him that wants to say that's a lie; he wants to stop drowning in guilt every time he says he loves Annabeth)
«»
It's most difficult to tell Andy and Alex.
Andy, full name Agnodice Chase, named after a famous doctor who stopped the killing of educated women in Athens, is a daughter of Apollo. Percy and Annabeth adopted her after Leo had told them Apollo had a daughter whose mother was unstable, and she needed a home.
Alex, full name Alexander Chase, isn't named after anybody in particular. Percy was a little worried about bad luck, because anyone named after Alexander the Great might be destined to die young and glorious, but Grover laughed at him for that because 'names don't dictate fate' and Percy had to believe him.
Alex's a son of Demeter anyways.
It's decided that Percy will be the one to tell them. He drives to their middle school and asks about their day before breaking the news.
"Your mum and I are getting a divorce."
"A divorce?" Andy asks right away. "Why?"
Percy sighs. "I don't know if you two have noticed it, but your mum and I don't talk anymore unless it's about you two or finances or travel."
"Don't you love each other?" Alex asks.
"Not anymore, I don't think."
Percy ignores the part of him that says they never did. He also ignores the part of him that wants to protest at being so frank with his children. They deserve the truth.
"Oh," Andy says.
The drive is scarily silent the rest of the ride back.
«»
"You're one of the first people to never let me go," Annabeth concludes, smiling in her beautiful wedding dress. "I love you, Percy Jackson, and I want you to know that for the rest of our lives."
People make little awws and Percy's pretty sure Thalia, who is Annabeth's maid of honour, is crying.
But it's his turn to say his vows.
"Annabeth Chase, you've been beside me since I was twelve. No matter what happened, I knew I could rely on you. No matter where we are, no matter whatever circumstance, I know you'll be there. You're my best friend, and the love of my life. I am so happy to be marrying you."
<s>Percy ignores the guilt settling in on those lies.</s>
He keeps his eyes trained on Annabeth. This is his future. It has to be.
They love each other. They do. They have to.
«»
"What about custody?" Annabeth asks.
"Switch every week?"
Annabeth nods. "What if you're off on one of your shipwreck-finding trips?"
"We could probably figure it out. Maybe I can take them on breaks to see the wrecks, and you can see them during the school year, or..."
"Maybe I should keep them during the school year," Annnabeth suggests. "And you can see them all the time during the school year when you come back. Otherwise, breaks can be more like switch every week or something?"
"We can figure it out," Percy says.
"For the kids?"
"For the kids."
"And lodging?"  
"You keep the house," Percy says. "Your architectural job needs that anyways, and if you're going to have the kids most of the time..."
Annabeth nods. "And you?'
"Maybe an apartment? Big enough that I can keep Andy and Alex if they want to stay over, but I don't want anything too big, especially if I'm not going to be there most of the time."
Annabeth nods. "What about medical care or tuition? I'm thinking on me. My job covers medical. We can split the extra medical costs along with the tuition."
Percy nods, then freezes. "How are we going to tell everybody?"
Annabeth's eyes grow wide. "Oh, no."
She takes a deep breath. "Let's plan it out. I'll tell Piper and Thalia, and Leo. After that-"
"Leo will tell Hazel and Frank, but I want to tell them first."
Annabeth nods. "And Grover?"
"I'll do it. Reyna?"
"I'll tell Reyna."
"I'll tell all my cousins, actually."
"Anyone else?"
"Rachel?"
"You do it. You're closer to her. I'll tell Clarisse and anyone else who comes up."
"And they gossip."
"Yeah, they do."
"What about Sally and Paul and Estelle?"  
"Oh. Oh."
Sally loves Annabeth, Percy knows. She was so happy during the wedding. Because her son was getting married to someone who might as well have been her daughter. Not in a weird way, of course.
Percy makes a decision. "I'll tell her and Paul. I'll tell Estelle on Saturday when I call her next. Can we wait to tell everyone else after I tell them?"  
Annabeth nods.
And it's the end of the conversation. It was long, longer than the other one. It's funny, Percy thinks distantly, how they're only talking because they're planning on not.
It'll be a change, but it feels like a step towards a fresh breath of air.
«»
"Love you," Annabeth says quietly.
"Love you too," Percy whispers back.
It's a lie, but it's a lie Percy's been telling for years. If he closes his eyes and doesn't think about it too much, it's almost true.
«»
Percy visits Sally a day later. Paul's out, because although Paul is great and wonderful for Sally, Gabe still hangs over like a weed, and Percy will never be quite able to tell Paul everything.
"Percy!" Sally exclaims like usual, before looking around. "Where's Annabeth and Andy and Alex?"
"About that," he says.
Sally looks at him, before clocking in his emotional state. "Come in."
Less than a minute later, Sally and Percy are sitting on their old couch, across from each other like they used to.
Percy takes a deep breath. "Annabeth and I are getting a divorce."
He looks down, expecting her to be angry. Why would she not be?
"Okay," Sally says. "And Andy and Alex?"
"They'll stay with Annabeth during the school year."
Sally nods. "You're figuring it out?"
"Yeah."
"We're not angry, you know," Sally says, reaching forward to hold Percy's hand. "If you two feel like a divorce is the healthiest action for your relationship and Alex and Andy, then we're glad you're getting one."
Percy nods. "Can I tell you something?"
"You can tell me everything."
"I don't think I ever loved Annabeth."
Sally moves forward to hug Percy. "And why's that?"
"I don't know. I just keep thinking about how I've never been comfortable saying that, and although we were great friends, we weren't good as... as romantic partners."
Sally smiles, he can hear it in her voice. "Sometimes these things are hard to tell. But I'm glad you're getting a divorce now rather than never."
Percy lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Okay."
«»
"Wow, you love each other a lot," Rachel says over the phone, upbeat and friendly.
"Yeah. We do," Percy says, swallowing back the hurt from that statement.
"I'm happy for you," Rachel says. "How's married life going?"
"Great."
Rachel looks like she's about to question that before changing her mind. "Can I tell you a story of the stupidest thing I've ever done in art class?"
Percy grins. "Can't wait to hear about your embarrassing escapades."
«»
Estelle and Percy call ever Saturday at three o'clock pm.
"Percy!" she almost yells into his ear. "What's up with you?"
"Hate to put a damper... but Annabeth and I are getting a divorce."
"Oh," she seems surprised. After all, Annabeth and Percy have been together for longer than Estelle's been alive. She's never known a Percy that doesn't come with Annabeth.
Most people don't.
"Did anything happen?" Estelle asks.
"No," Percy says. "Annabeth came to the realization that she no longer loves me, and I realized that I don't love her either. We're not... there's not anything big, Estelle."
"You just fell out of love," she surmises.
"Yeah. Don't worry, we're still communicating and you'll still get to see Alex and Andy."
"Obviously."
"But enough about me. How's university?"
«»
"Yeah, so Lester has a daughter," Leo says. "Apparently she's in the foster care system now."
Annabeth looks at him, and Percy nods.
"We can take care of her," Annabeth says. "It'll be nice to have a child."
Leo smiles. "I'll tell Lester. Her name's Agnodice, Andy for short, and, well, I'm glad that she can get a home with loving parents like you two in it. Some stability and two parents who love each other might to wonders for her."
"Yeah," Percy says listlessly. Two parents who love each other.
«»
"Annabeth and I are getting a divorce," Percy says for what seems to be the seventeenth time.
Hazel and Frank were both surprised, like really surprised, but ultimately supportive, and Hazel told him that he could always stay with her in New Rome just in case.
Nico was surprised, but he didn't seem to find it so sudden like everyone else. Maybe he can tell dying love. If they even loved each other at all.
And now Grover. He's the scariest to tell, honestly.
"Okay," he says. "I'm a little surprised, I have to say. But if that's the right decision, then it's the right decision."
Percy smiles.
"You can always count on me, okay? Plus, what kind of best friend would I be if I didn't support you through this?"
"A bad one?"
"Exactly."
«»
"Mummy! Daddy!" Andy yells.
"Yes, Andy?" Percy says.
"I want a baby brother," she says, assertive of her own ideas.
"Really," Annabeth says.
"Yes. A baby brother."
"We'll see about that."
«»
Annabeth and Percy are officially divorced a few weeks later, in the middle of summer when both Alex and Andy are at camp.
"Happy divorce," she says to him in a dry tone.
"Happy divorce," he replies, and he breaths in a fresh breath of air like no other.
«»
Three Years Later
"Percy?" a familiar voice asks. He hasn't heard it in person for a few years now.
"Annabeth."
"It's nice to see you again," Annabeth says. "Actually, I'll admit, I kind of missed you."
"Really?"
"But from before we were dating. You know, being best friends?"
Percy smiles. "Yeah. Want to give friendship another shot?"
"Yeah. By the way, I don't think I told you, but I'm a lesbian, apparently."
Percy laughs.
"Sorry?"
"No, I mean, I figured out I'm aromantic a year ago."
Annabeth stares at him for a few moments before bursting out laughing. "Comphet."
"Comphet," Percy agrees. It feels good to laugh with Annabeth again. Maybe they can resurrect their friendship after all.
"Anyway," he changes the subject, "dating anyone?"
Annabeth blushes immediately. "Yeah, this woman I met. She's mortal, but she's like Rachel."
Percy nods. "And, as I'm sure you're guessing, I'm not dating anyone."
"Wow, we really did fake-it-until-we-break-it with the romance thing, didn't we?"
"We totally did. But for one, I'm glad we're here. And, well, we got Andy and Alex out of it, so it couldn't've been that terrible."
Annabeth laughs. "You know, it's funny that all we needed to slot right back into friendship was divorcing."
"I guess so, huh?"
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crowned by an overture bold and beyond (oh, it's most courageous to overcome)
Bianca di Angelo has long known that she'll become queen of Viacta someday. Someday, however, has turned into today.
just realized i forgot to post this!
written for day eight: au in pjo rarepair week 2023!
@them-awesome-rarepairs
read on ao3!
"Ready for your coronation?” Queen, soon-to-be Queen Mother Maria di Angelo asks. She adjusts her gown, resplendently filled with jewels and gems and the finest lace money can buy. But it’s not threaded with gold like Bianca’s dress. Instead, it’s threaded in silver - to symbolize how Maria is soon to be not queen.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Bianca replies. Her own gown is somehow more resplendent than her mother’s, all lace and jewels and gold thread.
“Good,” Nico, Bianca’s little brother, says. “I’ve been waiting for forever.”
“Nicola di Angelo,” Maria scolds. “This is your sister’s coronation, the biggest day of her life. Keep some decorum.”
Nico rolls his eyes.
“I’m excited!” Hazel, better known by her name in Viacta of Princess Nocciola, exclaims. She’s known as Queen Maria’s adopted daughter, whose adoption was entirely unprecedented. In fact, Hazel was born not much after Queen Maria and her lover, also known as Bianca and Nico’s father, had split up - and said lover had loved a different woman in a different country. Although Hazel was known to be adopted, no one knew that she was actually Bianca and Nico’s half-sister.
“That’s good. Bia, put on Crown Princess, now Queen, Bianca; Nico, put on Prince Nicola, soon to be Crown Prince Nicola; and Hazel, put on Princess Nocciola,” Maria instructs.
Hazel sucks in a b.reath before arranging her features. She’d never adjusted completely, had not been born into it like Bianca and Nico. In fact, Hazel had only been introduced to them nine years ago at the age of thirteen when her mother, Marie Levesque, had died.
They arrange themselves in a line to greet the public. Hazel first, then Nico, then Maria, and lastly Bianca.
Bianca’s the only person wearing gold thread at this event. She should be, at least. She’s wearing the colours of Viacta, red and gold and white.
“Her Royal Highness Princess Nocciola di Angelo, lady of gemstones, second in line, daughter of Queen Maria di Angelo!” the announcer shouts as Hazel walks into the open, head held high with confidence, to cheers.
“His Royal Highness Prince Nicola di Angelo, lord of shadows, son of Queen Maria di Angelo!”
Nico walks out, similar posture to Hazel, to cheers only growing louder.
“Her Majesty Queen Maria di Angelo the Beloved!”
The council picked ‘the Beloved’ as Bianca’s mother’s epithet earlier, and it fit. Maria was a progressive queen, and a beloved one at that. And the people cheer for Maria more than any other.
“Her Royal Highness, Crown Princess Bianca di Angelo, lady of night, heir to the throne, daughter of Queen Maria di Angelo!”
Bianca steps out to thunderous applause. At twenty-five, it is customary for the next-in-line to receive the crown. Everyone here knows what is happening.
Deep in the boxes of the aristocracy, Bianca catches a glimpse of Lady Rachele Elisabetta Dare, of the rich Dare line. Her father had bought a title for himself and his line, coming from a far-off county. Rachele’s name has changed in response, from Rachel to Rachele.
Rachele’s red hair and smile are unmistakable, providing some comfort to Bianca.
Bianca takes a deep breath in as the people clapped, and walks towards the throne.
Her family already flank it. Maria holds the crown.
Bianca bows, and Maria places the crown on her head. The ancestral crown is heavy but only in the literal sense of that word; whorls and filigree and ornature make the crown look light and airy.
The people cheers.
Maria waves her hand, and the crowd quieted. “I hereby resign from my position of queen of Viacta, and my daughter, Queen Bianca di Angelo, will take the throne in my absence.”
Bianca turns, and then bows low, as low as she can without dislodging the crown on her head.
People whisper. No queen has ever bowed to the people, just the throne.
Bianca bows to the throne next, a full one-eighty-degree turn from her bow to the people.
She rises, and begins her address. “Dear friends and denizens of Viacta, I stand before you as your queen…”
«»
“Well done, Bia,” Maria says. “Or should I say, Queen Bianca di Angelo?”
“I’m still the same person, Mamma,” Bianca insists.
“If you insist.”
“I do.”
Maria smiles. “I’ll help you for the first year or so. You’ve already been sitting in councils since sixteen, but…”
“Mamma, I’ll be fine.”
“I’m not worried.”
Bianca raises an eyebrow.
“Maybe a little. But I know you’ll be an excellent queen.”
“Thanks, Mamma.”
«»
There are very few people who know of Bianca’s biggest secret. They number at seven, eight if you count Rachele.
And that secret is, naturally, that Bianca is in love with Rachele, and likewise, Rachele is in love with Bianca.
Of course, Bianca’s family knows, but Rachele’s family does not.
Bianca smiles at that. Beyond the door are her friends, of course. Andreina, Annabetta, Luisa Elena, Rachele, and Caterina, hopefully.
“Congratulations!” Tanaka Adzumi, better known by her Viactan name of Andreina Tanzi, says as Bianca enters the room she usually meets her friends in. “How does it feel to be the most important person in Viacta?”
“Nerve-wracking,” Bianca replies with a smile. “Where’s Annabetta, Luisa Elena, and Catti?”
“I’m here!” Annabetta, better known by her formal name of Anna Elisabetta Cacciatore, yells as she steps into the room.
“No idea where Luisa Elena is,” Rachele says. “Probably evading some suitor.”
“Just like us?” Andreina asks.
“Exactly, Drei.”
Bianca rolls her eyes, and sits down next to Rachele.
This group of friends Bianca’s acquired is full of lower-down people. Rachele is new, new money, Andreina is from a family of ambassadors, Luisa Elena isn’t from a particularly distinguished family. However, both Annabetta and Caterina were born to a higher-up family, despite Caterina's family's... controversy.
“Sorry I’m late!” Luisa Elena Nerocalcolo yells.
"Sorry we're late," Caterina Ortolano continues. "Luisa Elena and I got held up by who else but Lords Tacito and Concetto Pellegrini."
Bianca smiles at that. Lord Tacito has long tried to get Caterina's attention, but his... ideas of how to do so continually upset Caterina.
“It’s okay,” Rachele says. “Not like we have any particularly interesting things to talk about. Oh, wait.”
Everyone turns to Bianca.
“I’m still the same person,” Bianca says.
“We never said you weren’t,” Annabetta states. “How does it feel, though?”
“Honestly? A little scary.”
“You’ll be a good queen,” Andreina assures Bianca.
“Thanks.”
“That being said-” Rachele starts before being cut off by a knock at the door.
They arrange themselves into more presentable positions. Rachele fiddles with her dress.
Bianca opens the door to reveal Hazel and Nico.
“Your Royal Highnesses Princess Nocciola and Prince Nicola,” Bianca’s friend chorus, each dropping into curtsies befitting their ranks.
Hazel bobs into a shallow, shaky curtsy. It’s lower than it should be. Nico, however, sweeps into the exactly appropriate bow.
Gossip columns slam Hazel with slander constantly. She’s not, and will never be, the perfect princess that they want her to be. But Bianca and Nico have both been the target of the gossip columns too. The gossip always moves on eventually.
“Lady Dare, Lady Tanzi, Lady Cacciatore, Lady Nerocalcolo,” Hazel and Nico chorus back.
“May we converse with Your Majesty?”
“Of course.”
Bianca leaves the room and closes the door behind her. She’s only been queen a day, but it is not much more busy then before, only more prestigious. The transition had been in place for years - it started when Bianca was sixteen.
Bianca and her siblings walk down to a separate meeting room, closing the door behind them.
Within seconds, their dispositions change.
“Is there anything important I should know?” Bianca asks.
“No, not really,” Nico says, at the exact same time Hazel says, “Yes.”
“What is it?”
“You know that both of us are legitimate heirs, right?” Hazel starts.
“Yes?”
“And any daughters we have will be potential heirs?”
“Yes?”
"And adoption is a perfectly viable way to have heirs?"
"Yes..."
“And Nonna legalized marriage between men and men and women and women?”
Bianca knows all of this - her grandmother had legalized it years ago, before Bianca was even born. But... “Are you saying what I think you are?”
“Yes,” Nico says. “You can more publicly court Rachele. It wouldn’t be to out of the question - the Dare family is rich enough, if a little young - and it wouldn’t be too radical. Lady Demetra Ortolano and Lady Iasia Ortolano have been married for a while now. You're friends with their daughter."
Bianca sighs. "I know."
"Great!" Hazel says. "Anyway, we should be getting you back to your friends - tell Rachele that she can join in on our art time!"
"I will."
«»
"Well, Bia, how was the first week?" Maria asks.
"Good, thanks for asking."
Maria smiles. "Sometimes it'll be easier, sometimes it'll be harder. Just, this is a commitment."
"I know, Mamma."
"I know you do, my little queen."
Bianca and Maria smile at each other.
"Also, Bia, if you want to court Rachele, we'll make it happen."
"I know."
"Good. You'll be an excellent queen."
"I can only hope."
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you, rainbow, and i, gray
Written for day four: colours, but could also apply to fluff!
Bianca di Angelo sees people in colours. Usually, each person is one colour. However, Rachel Elizabeth Dare seems to be every colour at once.
@them-awesome-rarepairs
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Bianca sorts people in colours. Nico is dark green, Hades is deep, deep maroon, and Maria is gold, beautiful gold.
They are all usually one colour.
Even after Bianca came to camp, most people she met were one colour.
Percy is a deep, deep unending blue with a tinge of purple. Annabeth is bright red-orange. Connor Stoll is yellow to his brother Travis's orange, and Katie Gardner is yellow-green, a lovely chartreuse. Thalia is a shocking orange, Grover a bright, sunny yellow.
They're all one colour.
Of course, when people die, they turn gray (Thalia's face flashes in Bianca's mind, her formerly bold orange turning into a gray and suddenly-).
Bianca is a colour too, of course, a plain but nice gray. Exactly like Pantone's neutral gray. She is nothing but plain, it seems, but Bianca is also death. Death, like the gray she is (Castor turns gray from lovely green as Bianca watches-).
But with the years come new revelations, with everyone seemingly coming in so many colours. Nico's settled into a pale yellow, Percy's become more purple as time's gone on, Annabeth's red-orange is stained by a little gray these days (it's not death yet but inching towards ever so because they're all child soldiers-).
Bianca hasn't changed. Not a bit. Because Bianca is the gray slightly off of death because Bianca is death. Bianca cannot be anything but death.
Well, people seemed to be one colour until Rachel Elizabeth Dare came along.
«»
See, Bianca first meets Rachel when Percy decided they needed one-on-one time (for no apparent reason, why did they need that?) and Bianca did nothing but acquisition because really, what could she do?
So Bianca's pretty surprised when Percy shows up with Rachel Elizabeth Dare, for two reasons.
First off, she thought this was one-on-one time of 'older cousins' club (which is really cousins-except-for-Nico club, because Bianca does not always want to be with Nico now that she can), not 'older cousins and some really pretty girl Percy is friends with' club.
Second off, Rachel is every colour ever, at the same time. Rachel is red and orange and yellow and green and blue and purple and everything in-between at the same time.
Well, Rachel isn't a neutral - isn't brown, black, beige, white, or gray. Rachel is achingly alive, in all her infinities, with every single colour. Bianca knows death, and Rachel is the opposite.
But Rachel smiles, and apologizes - something about her parents being insufferable - but Bianca isn't listening because Rachel's every single colour ever.
Her orange hair and green eyes and blue overalls and yellow undershirt and red shoes and purple hair-streaks and everything else, the paint coating her overalls in a million different shades all seem to reflect Rachel.
(She's like a blooming garden, in a way, with every single colour all over the place)
"So, yeah," Rachel concludes. "That being said, what about you?"
"Oh, I'm working on this art project-"
"You do art? Me too!"
(They end up spending that entire conversation basically ignoring Percy, much to his chagrin)
«»
"So... did you like her?"
"You couldn't tell?"
Percy relaxes. "Good. Annabeth doesn't, and I just kind of need someone who's a demigod- not to say that Grover and Tyson are anything close to bad, just-"
"I get it, idiot. Rachel's cool."
Percy smiles, but it's slightly strained, so Bianca raises an eyebrow.
"What's going on with Annabeth."
"You're not going to let me say nothing, are you?"
"Of course not."
"Well, she's just not really talking to me anymore? And it feels like we're drifting apart, which is really terrible, so..."
Bianca nods. "So. Annabeth's probably struggling with something. Just talk to her."
"I'll try that, thanks."
Bianca smiles.
"Also, Rachel has been pestering me to get your number."
"Has she now?"
"Yeah, so can I?"
Bianca shrugs. "Why not?"
«»
"Charcoals are nice," Rachel agrees. "But I prefer colour. Actually, I've been trying to help Percy with art-"
"He's completely useless!"
"Exactly! And so I was attempting to try art with him-"
"I'm so sorry."
Rachel laughs, a lovely sound coming from somewhere in her heart, all multicoloured. "Yeah. Anyway, he's actually great at watercolours and gouache, which, in hindsight, isn't much of a surprise."
"Fair enough. But you do know that means we have to force him to come along if we ever use watercolours?"
"Assuming we meet up more?"
"Naturally."
"Alright. Anyway, what's your favourite medium?"
"It's so expensive, but I like paint - and between acrylic and oil, oil is definitely better."
"I can probably get oil paint," Rachel says. "Art supplies are expensive but my dad's also a billionaire."
"Even though you hate him?"
Rachel shrugs, then frowns. "He's... terrible. I feel guilty buying anything, because everything is paid by him and his terrible practices."
Bianca nods. "Are you his... heir or something?"
Rachel shakes his head. "No. I have a cousin... it'll be his."
"Old men?"
Rachel laughs a little. "Old men."
«»
"And then, he got angry at me," Drew complains. "Like, hon, I'm the one trying to make sure your love life isn't trash. Not my fault if she doesn't like you back."
Bianca nods. Drew's colour is a comforting sweet pink, a pale, pale, pink that's pretty nonetheless.
"That being said, what's up with you?" Drew squints at Bianca. "Oh, I've got it. You're in love..."
"No, I'm not!" Bianca blushes despite herself anyways.
"Bee, my dear, you forget I can literally see love, or crushes, or infatuation, as long as it’s romantic. I know you have a crush on someone. Now, spill."
Bianca rolls her eyes. "So Percy has a mortal friend-"
"Oh, that Rachel girl? Annabeth's totally jealous."
"Huh, interesting. Yes, it's Rachel."
"So, what does she look like?"
"She has really curly red hair and green eyes - like Oracle green, I'm not even lying."
"Oracle green eyes?" Drew smiles. "You'll have to introduce me to her. But also, there's something you're not telling me."
"You know how I see people in colours, right?"
Drew nods. "And what shade is she?"
"Rachel isn't one shade. She's like... every shade but neutrals all at the same time."
"Ooh. Either you're in love-"
"Unlikely, it was from first sight, and colours don't work like that-"
"-or she's special."
"I can tell why people laud at your intelligence."
"They do the opposite, actually. I've heard multiple people talking about how dumb I am."
"Drew-"
"Enough about me."
"We're going back to that later, if you insist."
"I’m not going to get you to let it go, am I?”
“No. Drew, you’re one of the smartest people I know! They’re wrong.”
“They’re probably right. I barely scrape by As as it is.”
“Those are great grades, and besides that, who else knows exactly what someone’s strengths and weaknesses are at first glance? Who else knows exactly how to comfort people?”
Drew smiles. “I know. Anyway, tell me more about Rachel.”
“Fine.”
«»
“What do you think about mixed media?”
Bianca grins. “I love it! Watercolour and gouache and coloured pencil are all fun to use together in particular.”
Rachel’s eyes light up. “I hadn’t considered that. I usually use paint and pen, if I’m mixing media. Mixing media? Is that a thing?”
“I have absolutely no idea.”
“Then I shall use it anyway. That being said, in a monochromatic palette, what colour?”
“Blueish gray, usually. You?”
“I can never choose, you know? Sometimes I want green, or purple, but then I want some other colour. I usually end up with some random colour that’s appropriate to the scene rather than a scene appropriate to the colour.”
“That makes sense.”
The room dissolves into a comfortable silence once more, only broken by brush strokes, water dips, and gentle paint.
"I'm glad Percy introduced us," Rachel states.
"I'm glad too."
«»
"You're never around anymore," Nico states.
"Yes, I am. You're just rebellious."
Nico frowns. "What have you been doing?"
"I've just been a little busy. You know Percy's friend Rachel?"
"Yes."
"We've been talking."
Nico squints up at Bianca. "Talking."
"Yes, talking."
"Are you dating her?"
"No!"
"I don't believe you."
"We're not dating, Nico."
"You should."
"Nico!"
«»
"So, uh..." Rachel begins.
"Yeah?"
"Would you, uh, like to call this a date?"
Bianca blinks, then smiles. "Oh, oh, uh, yeah."
Rachel suddenly laughs. "We're so stupid about this."
"We are, aren't we?"
"Anyway, how do I tell Percy I'm going on a date with his cousin?”
"Let me tell him."
«»
least favourite cousin bee aunt uh: i'm going on a date with rachel purse sea: oh okay purse sea: WAIT WHAT bee aunt uh: correction i am on a date with rachel purse sea: how am i going to shovel talk rachel. or you. i need to choose. bee aunt uh: you can shovel talk us both idiot purse sea: okay good that's the plan bee aunt uh: unfortunately you’d suck at shovel talks purse sea: HEY
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the maiden and her quests
There is a maiden in the meadow, whose love will give protection from harm. There is a princess in the kingdom, who needs protection and loves the maiden.
for the kotlc pride month prompt of fairytale!
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There was once a maiden of the finest beauty dancing in a meadow. She was known only as Biana, and she visited the meadow often, all to pick the flowers in the meadow and let her hair, that of untold splendour, the blackest black with hints of blue and purple, like a raven's splendid plumage. Her eyes spoke of untold knowledge, and her beauty was unmatched all throughout the land. And the girl, Biana, promised the flowers that whoever won her heart would forever be hidden from anyone who wished to cause them harm.
But there was another in the field that day, the daughter of a king, named Maruca. She fell in love with Biana on the spot, and knew the many allies of evil would come to hurt her could not if Biana could protect her. But there was more to that, because Maruca swore to love Biana, and to have Biana love her back.
Maruca was a princess, which won her the hand of Biana, but not the heart of Biana. Maruca knew that, of course, and asked Biana what task could win her heart. Biana told Maruca that she seeks a few things within this life, and the first of such is a purple gemstone, large as could be, which Biana would only have as her diadem. And so Maruca set out, across the nine continents and the nine seas to achieve a purple gemstone large enough for her beloved, to find it in the land of the north, cold as can be.
The land of the north yielded a giant to stop Maruca, but the princess was determined; no obstacle, great or petty, would cause Maruca's fall. Maruca took the giant on full-force, and her arrow pierced the giant's skull, killing it instantly. The land of the north now lay defenseless, and Maruca took the purple gemstone, large as could be, without struggle, before leaving the land of the north to travel towards Biana, and back home.
Biana was delighted with the purple gemstone, and bade Maruca to another task. This time, Biana demanded a fruit from the tree of knowledge, to learn more and be the wisest she could. So Maruca traveled to the lands of the west, searching for answers, to give her wife every thing that had ever been known.
There in the west lied three night-spirits, fighting Maruca with trickery and trade. The first night-spirit, with flame-red hair, asked of her what that which blooms in the darkest night and closes on the brightest day, and reigns the night serenely, is, to which Maruca only replies, “Why, the queen of the night flower, of course!”, leading the first night-spirit to huff on disappointment and continue on.
The second night-spirit had hair the colour of orange poppies, and a request to match. She asked of Maruca to make her a dye that matches her hair, and Maruca knew how. She took carrots and shredded them, before putting the remains in boiling water, to make a potent dye as brilliant as the second night-spirit’s hair. The night-spirit was satisfied, and said as much.
The third night-spirit had hair bright yellow, and only stood in front of the tall tree with the golden apples Biana wanted. “Go ahead,” she said, and Maruca took the challenge. She climbed up to the tree, and attempted to pick an apple. However, no matter how hard she tried, the apple did not move. Maruca looked at it, and realized something. This tree demanded knowledge. “My wife, the maiden Biana, is more beautiful than all the stars in the sky. She is more knowledgeable than all the advisors in my father’s kingdom, but she possesses not the knowledge that can be achieved by eating a bite of the golden apples of you. Her crown will have the largest purple gemstone ever to be found, and I love her with all my heart.” With that, the apple dropped into Maruca’s hand.
But why would Maruca stop? If her beloved would want one, surely three would be better. So Maruca yielded a second fact. “The death of my grandfather was by poison, not heart attack, as most think.” And so Maruca gained a second apple.
For the third, Maruca thought hard. But her answer came soon enough. “My greatest wish is to be loved, and be loved in return.” The third apple fell into her hand, and Maruca returned to her kingdom.
Unfortunately, news of Maruca’s father’s death has not reached her in her travels, but she fell into deep mourning the moment she heard of it. But home also meant Biana, who ruled the kingdom in Maruca’s stead. And what a great ruler Biana was! All of Maruca’s advisors said Biana was a fine ruler indeed, and that she would make a wonderful consort. Maruca was glad at this development, and slightly unsaddened by Biana’s competence in that matter.
And, of course, Maruca showed her the three apples. Biana, with quick, precise cuts, divided two of the apples into equal sixteenths, and bit into one apple slice. And then, with her dark, dark eyes, Biana smiled and gave Maruca sixteen slices. “You deserve it too,” she said. “What about the other apple?” Maruca asked. “Apples of gold never go bad,” Biana replies, and smiles at Maruca in a way that makes her feel whole again.
But there was time to do, with Maruca's coronation and Biana's in kind, and two queens they were! None who saw thought Biana looked anything but divine, and none who saw thought Maruca looked anything but a great ruler. But Maruca spent her days next to her queen and her advisors, discussing all matters of state. It was not long before the kingdom's problems with succession were alleviated, and Maruca could spare her time for other things.
Still, it was a while before Maruca set out in the next task, to find a fabric fit for a consort. Maruca searched the lands of south-east for this task, finding the finest silk to ever be created, shining purple, with luxurious gold embroidery detailing apples and peonies and symbols of prosperity. It was perfectly fit for Biana, in every aspect, to create a gown of it and the rich gold silk for a spare accent or parting. And, just in case of Biana’s fashion, Maruca bought hair pins to match, that shone purple, too, made of yellow gold alloy.
Biana found it suitable too, and told Maruca it was lovely. A gown was commissioned, and Biana wore it, and Maruca never thought her wife looked as beautiful as in that moment, hair pinned back with the hair pins, diadem resting on her head.
The only task left was for a portrait to be commissioned, Maruca took to the far west, farther than even the apples of gold, to the southernmost point of the world, all the way east and north too, but Maruca failed at this task. No artist could truly capture Biana’s beauty, no artist could capture her majesty, no artist could capture her wisdom.
And so Maruca returned to her wife and told her if the problem.
Biana only laughed, the most beautiful sound Maruca has ever heard. “You captured my heart, my love, the day you returned with the apples of gold.”
Maruca fell down to her wife’s feet at this notion, and Biana only smiled and cupped Maruca’s cheeks. “I love you, my heart.”
And so they lived, in happiness and prosperity, to the end of their days. Their daughter, who went by the name of Violet, was given the third and final apple of gold, and reigned with the wisdom and beauty of Biana, and the devotion and strength of Maruca.
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they say hair is a gift, supposedly (from parent to child, never changed)
Biana Vacker hates aer long hair. Fitz hates his short hair. Somehow, that leads to them getting a better relationship.
continuation of Loveless Biana Vacker™
trigger warnings: implied child abuse, and if you struggle with hair in gender dysphoria, biana also struggles with that in this fic.
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Hair should never be cut.
Biana knows this.
Biana knows not to cut aer hair, not matter how much ae wants to, no matter what ae thinks.
Hair is a gift from aer parents. Everything about Biana's body is a gift from aer parents.
Biana hates aer parents, hates their fake smiles and fake life and their fake personalities and their everything, from their solid, hidden dislike of their children to their heavy expectations that can never be met.
Because Biana is known only for being beautiful, and your body is a gift from your parents.
Biana is nothing if not aer parents' child.
And therefore, Biana is nothing without them.
But Biana wants to cut aer hair, cut it short and shorter and shorter and shorter until there's very little left at all.
Biana wants to cut aer silky black hair, cut it and cut it to little bits, leave decorations of short strands of black around the sink.
So Biana does, little snips that get lost in the sea of hair that Biana has, going unnoticed even in the thin, thin hair of aers. They're unnoticed but they're taboo and they are wrong in every sense of the word, but Biana continues on with aer little snips and little breaks and it feels cathartic.
Biana cuts away, little by little, and that makes aer wonder if the hair will ever get so small as to be unnoticeable.
«»
Biana wears too much white these days.
White, the colour of mourning and sadness and death and everything in between.
White is the colour of grief and emptiness.
It is also the colour of Everglen. It is empty and dead.
Biana thinks to aerself, in the sort of spiteful way that ae does, that Everglen is the melding of what aer life is at its core - a mix of American culture that ae lives in and the Chinese culture that ae comes from.
Empty white is all American; dead white is all Chinese.
It's between those two that Biana is, all empty and dead together, only alive on the outside.
Biana has no idea what that means.
Biana has no idea what ae means.
«»
Biana can't love. Ae has long accepted this as fact.
It helps that Dex can't either.
But it's odd in its own way, the way that Biana can't love but cares all too much.
But Biana will cut aer hair, cut aer hair right now, and never have to worry about this again.
Biana raises the scissors, and hesitates.
No.
Every cell, every atom in Biana's body screams 'no' with the force of a million suns, with the force of the brightest stars and the biggest of them too.
Biana drops the scissors on the floor, making a hard clanging sound.
Ae cannot cut aer hair. Not in this way.
Ae cannot—
Ae cannot cut—
Ae cannot cut aer hair.
«»
It's Fitz that finds Biana crying on the bathroom floor, grasping the scissors within every inch of aer life.
"Biana?" he asks, tentatively, because they haven't quite built their relationship. Biana would say 'built from the ashes of what it was before' but there was no before, was there?
But Biana doesn't reply. How can ae?
So Fitz locks the door, and hugs Biana.
They're in America, where hair length isn't as sacred. Fitz gets short hair, because that's what Americans expect, and Biana gets long hair, because that's what American expect.
"Hair?" Fitz asks, when Biana finally calms down.
"Hair," Biana confirms.
"Hair for me, too," Fitz says. "I'd prefer it longer."
Biana nods. "Shorter for me."
They look at each other.
And there's a little bit of a silent confirmation, a silent understanding, that this is something that they can trust each other on.
And maybe that's enough to build their relationship up more, enough for Biana to get past Fitz being their parents' favourite, enough for Fitz to get past Biana's little more freedom.
Because they've just realized that they are both stuck and shackled by everyone around them.
«»
"So," Dex says. "Your brother?"
Biana shrugs. "Yeah. We're... getting somewhere."
Xe raises an eyebrow. "Maybe he'll be another one of the people you care for."
"Maybe."
Dex looks at ae for a little bit, and then looks down. "Bee, do you want a better relationship with your brother?"
"Of course."
"Then go for it. I mean it. Just... talk to him, get a better relationship. Live your life precisely how you want to."
Biana laughs mirthlessly. "I'll never do that, as long as my parents are alive."
"Hey, wait out until eighteen, okay? Then we can live together and start a bakery or something."
"I am abysmal at baking."
"But you're great at finances."
Biana shrugs. "Suppose so. I manage, you bake?"
Dex smiles. "Naturally."
«»
Biana has only met Fitz's girlfriend twice, when she comes over occasionally for dinner.
Sophie isn't perfect, but her family - the Ruewens - are of the same class as the Vackers. Not as rich and not as prestigious, but still good enough. Especially with Sophie's undeniable intelligence.
But it's a surprise, anyway, when Fitz brings Sophie to the next time they try out the 'sibling bonding' thing.
"I should probably tell you," Fitz says. "I'm... not a boy."
Biana shrugs. "I'm not a girl."
"Genderqueer. You?"
"Agender."
Sophie smiles. "I'm just a demigirl."
Biana nods. "Aro."
She doesn't tell them the loveless part. That'll probably have to wait.
"Bi!" Sophie says. "Technically, pan is the label that better defines me, but I prefer bi."
Fitz shrugs. "Bi-ace."
Biana smiles, and then laughs.
"Biana?"
"Who would've thought that the perfect Vacker siblings were not allocishet?"
Fitz joins in, and so does Sophie, and at least Biana has something to work towards.
Once their laughter subsidizes, Fitz shakes his head. "Anyway, pronouns?"
"Ae/aer."
"She/they!" Sophie says, altogether too enthusiastic.
"Hmm," Fitz says. "I don't really care."
And that's that. It's odd, but it feels perfect enough, if Biana wants to try.
And ae does.
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the fire burns bright from the kindling we've gathered tonight
It's nighttime, and there seems to be nothing else but the stillness in the world, which is drawn from the aurenflare and the four people around it.
requested to add the link for kotlc pride month, so here it is!!!
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The aurenflare crackles, like dry branches breaking underfoot; the aurenflare's sound contrasting its feel of cool, round water droplets.
Its splendour is something to admire too, the blues and purples and greens and oranges and yellows and reds and everything in between lighting up the warm night.
Or, it might just be warm from the aurenflare. It is summer; the trees long having regained leaves, the gardenias in full bloom by now.
And sitting in front of the aurenflare are a few people: Marella Adene Redek, self-declared pyromaniac, but, more accurately, pyrokinetic, of which this fire originates; Biana Amberly Vacker, out and ready to do something dangerous, and completely unallowed by aer aristocratic world; Linh Hai Song, away from the world for this one night, before returning to quiet contemplation like any other day; and Sophie Elizabeth Foster, with too much weight on her shoulders and not enough freedom.
And the aurenflare is rather small, all things considered, not very encompassing, only on Solreef's large lawn.
Solreef is nothing but the home of many, of which Linh Song is of importance in that case.
And it is now, that four people, who have only come together for this small but somewhat ritualistic thing, divest only the things that children think of in the snatches of night, only things that the boldest of the bold decide to do.
However, it is worth noting that none of the four are the boldest of the bold. Sophie is a leader, and as thus careful. Linh is nothing of not contemplatively quiet, Biana is always planning. And Marella gossips but always knows exactly how to phrase and execute to make others thing exactly what she wants them to.
And it is within these bonds of love, care, and boldness, to lead four people of usually polite disposition to contradict it completely.
"Do not," Linh gasps, as if betrayed by the very notion. "I am not, in any way, about to blow up Solreef. I declare Marella more guilty."
Marella only shrugs, a luxury she is not used to. "This fire is from me, loves. I am not about to snuff it out."
Biana giggles at that, not quite used to being able to drop a girly countenance. "As if we would ever want you to, dear Marella."
Marella flips her hair. "I would expect no less of you, darling."
It is within the confines of being outside of society that these four peculiarities in their world can breathe, deeply and fully, with the feeling of being alive.
The aurenflare is beautiful, of course, but no more beautiful than what Linh thinks of Sophie and Biana and Marella, and no more beautiful than what Sophie thinks of Biana and Linh and Marella, and no more beautiful than what Biana thinks of Sophie and Linh and Marella, and no more beautiful than what Marella thinks of Sophie and Biana and Linh.
"Ripplenuts, ladies," Sophie says, dumping around sixty into a bowl, of which Linh immediately grabs and puts on a nut-roaster, and interesting invention made by one Dex Dizznee, in an effort to more efficiently roast ripplenuts but also brattails.
Brattails do not feature here for the simple reason that none of the people present want them to.
Biana sighs, though, at Linh's insistence to be the nut-roaster. "Linh, love, let one of us do it sometime!"
"No."
Biana smiles despite all that. "Fine."
Linh smiles, and it's the end of that.
Marella laughs, though, and her laugh sounds like the aurenflare, with its dry branches crackling.
"Marella," Sophie scolds lightly. "Do not laugh at our dear Linh's inability to give up the ripplenut-roaster."
Marella just shakes her head.
"I like aurenflare," Biana says, after the conversation has died down and the only thing standing is quiet companionship. "It's colourful and pretty and wonderful."
"Me too," Marella says. "It's my favourite, of all that I can create."
"The ripplenuts are ready!" Linh calls, before taking out a few bowls and dumping sixteen ripplenuts each, dividing them equally.
Biana smiles, taking a ripplenut. "My favourite."
"I thought your favourites are custard bursts?" Sophie asks, looking anxious at the possibility of getting something wrong.
Biana finishes aer first ripplenut before answering. "Of course, love! Ripplenuts are actually my third-favourite, then, after custard bursts and cinnacreme."
Sophie laughs. "I still can't believe you don't like mallowmelt."
"I do! Just not as much as most things."
Marella shakes her head. "Oh, never change."
"I wasn't planning to."
"Anyway," Linh begins, "did you hear the gossip?"
"What are they saying now?"
"My brother," Linh says, pausing for emphasis, "and Stina."
"What?"
"Exactly my reaction. Do you think they'd be good together?"
"Actually, yes," Marella says. "First off, Tam and Stina can judge people together, and they're already decent friends. Stina is more outgoing than Tam, but both of them are spiky and prefer to be chilly with people."
"I see it too," Biana continues. "Tam can help Stina be a little nicer, and Stina can help Tam be more outgoing. I think they'd be good together."
Sophie nods, but doesn't say anything.
Linh smiles. "I do think that too; Stina and Tam could be good for each other. But Stina as my sister-in-law? No."
"They might not last," Biana points out, "but I'm also near-certain that Stina's getting nicer anyways. Tam has taste, at least, and I don't think it'll go too badly."
"Hopefully they'll work well," Marella concludes. "Anyway, gossip is dreary sometimes."
Linh laughs. "Naturally. But it's fun."
"It's always fun," Biana points out.
They all laugh, and everything seems right.
And high up, away from the aurenflare, Tam Song watches from his window, his sister and them all, and then closes his drapes before reading Stina's letter once more, and going to his bed to do nothing but sleep.
But Linh and Biana and Marella and Sophie will be up late into the night, watching the aurenflare and each other, and spending time the way that they will, with only the thought of each other and the moment never ending.
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sorry, i got carried away!
When you first consider entering the Tumblr Marketplace, someone outside, exhausted and in rags, warns you.
"I got lost in there once," they say. "Three years ago. I just made it out."
You turn back. There's the dark market of this marketplace at the one over there, Pinterest Marketplace.
However, before you can go any further, someone calls from the inside. "Don't leave! It's wonderful here!"
You look at the signs. Welcome to your corner of the internet. You'll never be bored again! one sign reads. The other one simply reads Tumblr.
You turn back.
The next time you visit Tumblr Marketplace, you consider once again. The same people meet you, with different faces but identical words.
You step in. It can't go too wrong.
"Name?" the person asks. You've heard it's dangerous to share your real one, so you lie. The gibberish you think of doesn't phase them.
You go down for a little, finding empty stalls everywhere. You must choose one. So, you do.
Soon enough, you get your first customer. They take a look at the things you've cobbled together, and smile. They take a little stick. You couldn't find much.
One day, you decide to shop around. And you find the people you like. You don't buy anything, just observe and smile at the other vendors.
Soon enough, you start making conversation with your regulars, who share similar interests to you. Everyone's face has a mask, and you are no different. You do not dare to take yours off. It would be too revealing.
One time, during an odd moment of wandering somewhere new, you overhear a conversation.
"Over at Twitter Café," one of them says, "they think this marketplace is dead."
"They keep stealing our work!" the other exclaims. "It's like they have no originality."
"It's not like we do either," the one next to them says. "Anyway, Twitter Café sucks. Did you hear that someone bought it?"
You frown. You haven't heard of any other black markets like Pinterest Marketplace.
That's where you heard of Tumblr Marketplace.
Oh well.
Life goes on, but you never seem to leave Tumblr Marketplace. During the fifteenth of March, everything is suddenly about Caesar and his death. You find it amusing. Beware the ides of March and all that.
Tumblr Marketplace does not change much, but at the same time, it does.
You are here in Tumblr Marketplace, and for better or for worse, you're staying.
tumblr isn’t a social media it’s a farmers market and the people you follow are the vendors and your mutuals are regulars and sometimes a person I buy pumpkins from will start selling realistic models of sailboats and damn i’m not gonna buy any but I will come by and compliment you on your sailboats
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