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mindofasupernova · 1 year

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The Storm: Villain x civilian

Description: This is not the first time Villain comes home half-beaten to death, however, this time, Civilian has had enough of their partner carelessly risking their lives. A storm comes along, and their not sure their relationship will survive this time.

Warnings: angst, fighting, blood and injuries

"I'm not asking you to stop. I simply wish for you to be more careful!" Civilian exclaimed, trying to keep their cool.

What had started as a worried remark took a turn into a soon-to-be argument. Villain turned to them with a glare, slowly reaching for their glass of whisky, trying and failing to hide the painful throb in their side.

"Civilian, please. Darling, you can't expect to win a fight without taking some calculated risks," Villain retorted, taking slow sips of the amber-like liquid, hoping for the alcohol to numb the pain. "Besides, I'm alive aren't I? We should be celebrating Enemy's defeat, I'm pretty sure that bastard won't dare to question my authority in a long time."

And with an airy shrug, Villain poured another glass of whisky and downed it all in one go. Despite having consumed a considerable amount of alcohol, Villain winced every time he had to stretch their arms or stand up in general, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Civilian.

Civilian stopped their pacing to fully direct their attention to Villain. They looked unnaturally pale, their sickly pallor serving as a canvas to splotches of blue and purple bruises. When Villain had arrived earlier that night, they had almost toppled over Civilian, they could barely stand, leaving a scarlet trail in their wake.

It was not the first time for Villain to come home in such a haggard state, but that did not stop Civilian's heart from trembling or for their mind to be occupied by grim premonitions on whether this time Villain's visit would be the last. Civilian had already come to accept all the risks and repercussions they could have from dating a criminal, they respected their profession, if one could call terrorism and blackmailing one, and did not intend to persuade Villain to abandon their career. However, Civilian thought Villain was too confident for their own good. Don't get them wrong, Villain's blasé attitude and their smart arrogance were one of the many traits that Civilian adored, unfortunately when it came to fighting heroes and enemy villains that was not the case.

Civilian had seen the confrontation on national tv, it started as a peaceful agreement and could have ended as a simple and beneficial negotiation if only Villain hadn't decided to make a bold bargain. Villain was asking for more territory than was stated, and even though Villain was by far more capable and skilled than Enemy, the bargain was completely uncalled for. If Villain hadn't been so keen on humiliating Enemy, then they wouldn't be slouched on the couch with barely concealed pain.

Villain had assured Civilian it was a calculated risk, that all the cards would work in their favor, while Civilian did not want to doubt Villain's strategic abilities, it was not the first time one of their "calculated risks" ended in Villain endangering their life.

"Would it kill you to take your life more seriously?!" Civilian exclaimed, the stress finally extinguishing their calm facade.

Villian winced at their sudden loudness, trying and failing to fight off their headache. It was unusual for their partner to raise their voice, Civilian was the kind and collected one in their relationship. Now it was Villain's turn to glare at them with an annoyed expression, struggling to keep their cool as well, "Can we not do this now, Civilian? We should be celebrating."

"Celebrating?!" Civilian asked incredulously, "Celebrating what? That you can barely move without popping a few stitches? Or all the other times that you came home half-beaten to death?!"

"Well if I'm such a bother, then I'll refrain from coming to see you after a fight, " spat Villain, turning their gaze elsewhere so Civilian wouldn't see the hurt in their eyes.

"No! What bothers me is that you could have died!" shouted Civilian, no longer caring about keeping a diplomatic posture. "Have you ever wondered how I feel every time a have to patch you up? Wondering if you are going to make it or not? Holding on to a thin veil of hope each time you close your eyes, never sure if you will open them again?"

Villain's pain was bordering on the edge of unbearable, their short temper and time made Villain finally snap into that cold-unnerving calm that terrified heroes.

Villain laughed humorlessly, "Of course, this had to be about you, everything must always be about you.," Villain continued, slowly stalking towards Civilian, oblivious to the chaos to come.

"We had this conversation a million times and still you can't understand, can't you, love?" Villain said, towering over Civilain's form. The nickname that used to be endearing, now cutting Civilian's breath short and dousing their partner's fire, morphing into uncomfortably.

"You knew what you were signing up for when you agreed to take me as your partner," Villain whispered, voice deceivingly gentle, and it would have calmed Civilian if they hadn't seen Villian use it so many times before with their enemies. This was just the calm prior to the storm, and, Civilian ruefully knew that this storm was going to destroy them.

"However, now I realize you might have never understood what it meant, and consequently, it means you have never understood me," Villain continued, not a single trace of their nonchalant nature present, for only ice and bitterness remained, "You foolishly thought you could change me, did you not?"

Pushing impossibly closer, Villain murmured, "Just like the rest, you are scared. At the minimum sign of danger, you wish to disappear, only staying for the good moments never for the hardships."

Villain stared at Civilian like an ensnared pray, in a way, Civilian supposed they were, trapped in the cruel implications of Villain's words. Civilian was not scared of Villain, they knew they would never hurt them, but that did not stop them from inwardly flinching at the acidic taste Villain's words hinted at, "Tell me which was more exciting: The prospect of taming the beast or the power that being with the beast brought?"

"No, Villain, I'm not trying to ch-" Civilian scrambled to correct them, heartbroken that Villain thought they were just using them but were quickly interrupted by Villain separating from them.

Back facing Civilian, the criminal began speaking normally with an indifferent tone, "Well, this conversation has proven to be quite enlightening. I believe we can come to a conclusion on how to proceed onwards."

Civilian froze, arms unconsciously wrapping around themselves, in a poor imitation of what Villain used to do when on the border of a breakdown. Civilian quietly asked, "Wh-What do you mean?"

Seconds bled into the deafening silence, both lovers staring at each other, wondering who will be the one to push them down the precipice. Both waiting, feebly hoping one will pull them up the edge and salvage the remaining pieces of what they once were but when both parties are hanging there is only one choice: who will fall down first?

"This is the end."

It might have been as the fall of a feather or a strike of lightning, a summer breeze whisper or a blazing fire but Civilian did not know the tone Villain used to make that four words sting as much as they did. They realized it would not have mattered for they would have torn them apart regardless. This was the storm they had awaited and it had indeed destroyed them.

"Villain..., no, don't do this, I-"

"Don't you understand?" Civilian's words fell on deaf ears, for their pleas were silenced by Villain. The quiet again, the flashing of light mimicking false hope, "I don't want you here anymore."

And usually, after a lighting blow, comes the rain and that is when Civilian's tears fell. The sound of muffled sobs overflowed the apartment, as Civilian gathered a few of their belongings and hurriedly left.

In the middle of it stood Villain, staring at the emptiness left in the absence of rain, and after several minutes, they crumbled into the couch. Even though Civilian had broken down in tears after those four words, Villain had shattered much earlier, when their raging calm took over, for this was their fault. At the start, when hanging from that precipice, Villain had given up. They had fallen first.

#villain x civilian #civilian x villain #heros and villains #supervillain x civilian #civilian x supervillain #villain

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mindofasupernova · 2 years

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The Scarlet Dame: Introductory Snippet

A Frankenstein retelling meets dark fantasy, shadow manipulation, revenge, and a deal with an unlikely visitor.

(I've been having lots of inspiration lately so I will be posting original stories as well as fandom-related ones. Please tell me what you think. )

Mournful wails resounded through the prison tower like an eerie lullaby chilling the very bones of the cruelest and most despicable men that have ever existed. Gusts of wind, cold and unforgiving, accompanied the skitterish sounds of fleeting rodents looking for food, however, their search would prove to be futile for, it was intended that every being to ever have the disgrace of ending at Tenebra was never to get out alive. Meager rations and mental strength were the only things that slightly prolonged a prisoner's miserable life in a place so God-forgotten that even those who society called monsters begged and cried for death to come and take them.

In the highest prison tower, in a lonely rust-damaged cell, a sliver of moonlight fell upon the figure of a woman. Black iron cuffs coiled around her bony wrists and ankles, attached to the cuffs, a ridiculous amount of black iron chains threatened to pull her through the floor by their burdening weight. Such a ridiculous countermeasure, as if the frail young woman who, if not for the almost unnoticeable movement of her chest, looked as pale and as dead would ever be able to move an inch with those black monstrosities cinching her limbs.

A cruel punishment given by ignorant men who sought to kill anything they could not understand, who were too stubborn to comprehend that what she had just accomplished was one of the biggest breakthroughs humanity would ever witness. If this had happened a few months prior she would have screamed, begged for an audience, pleaded to present her case, and explained just how deeply wrong they were, the benefits of her discovery to society, her genius accomplishment to science. She wanted to make them see she could be more, that she had always been more.

Instead, she just stayed there on the grimy and dust-covered floor, quiet, uncannily still, resting her head against the icy brick wall, calmly awaiting the gelid embrace of death for she had given up any hope for humanity since that fateful night. The start of her predicament, the loss of her dream that one day people would see her for who she truly was. And now, chains to last a thousand lifetimes suffocated her reminding her of what exactly society thought she was, a ridiculous dream indeed.

And just like that, in a fraction of a second, it seemed like an invisible force had sucked what little life remained in the prison of Tenebra. The slow condemning footsteps of jailors and the creak of old metal seemed to stop at once, the desperate cries of the abandoned nor the tiptoeing of vermin could be heard, expectantly holding their breath for something far darker.

The young woman finally opened her eyes and the sight in front of her would have been enough to stop her already weak heart if she had not already known what she would find, or rather who. Tenebra was known to be a place eternally sunk in darkness, cells as dark as obsidian once night fell but now her room looked as if it were home to an endless black void. Among that eternally consuming darkness, a voice spoke:

"Have you finally accepted your destiny?", it said.

However, the young woman was not quite sure if she could call it a who. It had paid her several visits even before her imprisonment, she had never seen It, and yet she knew it was there. But even so, she was not certain It should even be considered an it, whatever It was it was far more complex to comprehend, more like a devilish thought, a whispered prayer and idea.

The woman kept quiet but did not close her eyes, expression betraying nothing, empty eyes staring at nothing in particular.

"You waited far too long, hoping to delay the inevitable but we both know there is no escaping it."

The voice wasn't quite a voice either, it was everywhere and nowhere at once, a single cadence and a cacophony of millions at the same time.

"Aren't you tired? Have you not suffered enough?" the unnatural groan uttered these questions. Despite their inquiring tone, they were unnecessary because It knew the answer to all of them just as well as she did.

"You could make them see."

The statement resonated sinisterly into the cell, syllables twisting strangely, too sharp and poisonous, in the nonexisting tongue of that being, as if one single word would be able to physically make a person bleed. As if the human tongue was too delicate, too young, too naive to be spoken by something like It, something far more archaic than the night itself.

Slowly darkness ebbed away, giving way to her now-familiar room but she could still feel It, lingering in the far corner. With painful movements, the young woman lowered her gaze to her once white dress, pale hands roving the now crimson fabric, it is still wet to the touch was the first thing she thought with a rueful expression.

If she had not seen the white dress before the chaos, she would have thought its original color was red. The woman continued to caress the scarlet fabric, she did not know it yet but that insignificant piece of clothing would give her the future name people would whisper with terror and fear.

But for now, it was as much of a prison as the one she was been held at, a remembrance of her past, of her failure, of her pain. Her expression slowly morphed from melancholy to burning disdain, with a set jaw, she finally looked eyes into the space where the presence lingered.

With a hardened glaze, she broke the promise she made herself when she was very young. The promise that had picked her up time and time again, the promise that defined who she was, and the very same reason why she had ended up in this predicament in the first place. But like most dreams she had had, they were ridiculous, futile and they could not save her now.

And so, her wrath shattered what little hope she had unknowingly harbored and revenge pulled her up. She did not need to voice it out loud for It had already known her answer, it was her destiny after all.

"Come and take this burden. Make them see."

An ear-splitting groan shook Tenebra, panic cries and screams of terror could be heard, brick and metal collapsed equally but the young woman paid them no mind even as the nightmarish building home to the worst aberrations of mankind crumbled in a flurry of black.

The young woman stood up straight for her chains no longer weighed and her pain no longer broke her. She will make them see.

For the very first time when the whispers flooded her ears, she answered and she and the shadows became one.

#original character #original fiction #original story #dark fantasy #umbrakinesis #frankenstein monster

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mindofasupernova · 2 years

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The Inventor: Part 4

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

I'm sorry for being gone for so long but here's part 4 of my Inventor series. I promise I'll be way more active during these days. The finale, part 5, will be coming out soon.

Please tell me what you think.

(The image is not mine)

____

Y/N

The dark ghoulish mouth of the entrance invited Y/N to step inside. The fragrance of death adorned the air as if the dark establishment had eaten its prey, now waiting for the next one to cross the threshold and swallow them whole.

An eerie glow crept into her sight from a fallen lantern, casting strange shadows across the room, puritan souls tethered to earth for their ghastly deeds Zia Francesca would have exclaimed.

Y/N shook her head erasing her aunt's superstitions, there were no monsters in dark. Well, at least not the ones children thought about, the only one lurking in the dark was a corpse and in the worse case, an intruder might be hiding amongst the shadows.

When she mused about it, that previous statement hadn't been as reassuring as she sought it to be and now Y/N preferred the idea of facing a couple of malevolent spirits trying to make a bargain rather than what possibly remained out of her sight. Nonetheless, she adjusted the grip on the stolen handgun and stepped inside.

Y/N cautiously walked along the wall one hand in the gun and the other feeling the wall, trying to find a light switch to extinguish the blackness. When her fingers finally came across it, the room was flooded by fluorescent pale lights overhead.

The enormous chamber resembled a laboratory, thousands of beakers, test tubes, and other scientific paraphernalia crowed above a long table. A chair was overturned, papers scattered on the floor, and broken Petri dishes shone under the lamplight.

Y/N walked through the chaos, attentively observing the vast variety of equipment. She was jealous, and when she reached a set of volumetric flasks she had to resist the urge to purloin them.

At the end of the table, there laid the grotesque form of what had once been a man, flies swarmed around the body,the fetid scent made her want to vomit. The murderer had beat her there.

Y/N pulled out a white handkerchief to cover her nose, borrowed a couple of gloves, and reluctantly examined the corpse. She batted at the flies, the same entry point for the poison, defensive marks, and bulging veins due to excessive blood flow. Using a pen she had taken from the paper cluttered desk, she opened the corpse's blueish mouth. Maggots started crawling out its black tongue, Y/N recoiled, and decided to let the worms finish their appetizer.

At least now she knew the alkemi wasn't the killer and somehow he fit inside this complex puzzle. Y/N inspected the room once again, hunting for a clue until her eyes landed on a vial containing a substance that very much looked like the one that had started their problems.

____

Kaz

Captain Wagner's body was found in the foggy Ketterdam docks. Some sailor had been passing by when he was spotted, lying limply against cargo boxes, veins popping out.

Kaz ran his hands through his raven-black hair in exasperation and started pacing around his office. He considered himself fortunate, three days late and they would have never known about Mercher Dupont's grim activities.

A mercher, his informants that had part-time jobs as sailors and a captain. Not to mention the Zemeni passenger that he now identified as the corpse he had gotten for the autopsy. Mercher Dupont's secret had cost all these men their lives and until he found out what he was so determined on hiding, Kaz doubted they would be able to pinpoint their killer.

Kaz wasn't particularly upset about Wagner's murder, in fact, if the assassin had appeared at his doorstep asking for the Captain's location, Kaz would have guided the way and beat the life out of the man before the killer even had a chance to poison him. That pudgy rat had almost killed Y/N.

His own harsh words replayed in his mind since that night. A pampered foolish rich girl, a liability. He had had no right to insult her the way he did, she wasn't any of those things. Her fighting skills might not be the best, but her intelligence was deadly. Kaz knew that she needed no weapon but her mind, if it had been a battle of wits, Y/N would have made the most skilled soldiers fall at her feet.

However, when he had seen that bastard on top of her, knife to her throat, Kaz saw red. All his self-control was lost, he couldn't think of anything else other than breaking every bone in that reprobate's body.

The idea of seeing Y/N injured...he couldn't bear it. Kaz had shown his anger to Y/N when she never deserved any of it. He had been angry at Wagner and even more at himself.

He had put her in harm's way, a few minutes later and she would have been gone. He would have never heard her incessant rants that he had come to find endearing or her everlasting amusement to the simplest of things. Reluctantly Kaz had come to think of her as a brilliant ally, an interesting companion, and maybe even a friend.

Most importantly, he was absolutely furious because he cared. How many times had he told himself that hope was the worst kind of weakness? Emotion made people weak, easy targets to bring down. Kaz Brekker couldn't care because if he did, only a small action was required to have his whole empire crumbling to pieces.

Except, hope had blossomed in the dark filthy streets of Ketterdam. It had grown inside Kaz's cold and lonely heart with each interaction regarding a very peculiar inventor that had wormed her way into his life and slowly captured his attention.

She could have turned around, ignored Kaz's request, she could have even called the police but she didn't. She never belittled them as many high-class individuals liked so much to do, she'd shown them amiability even when she knew what they did and Kaz thought he deserved none of it.

Every considerate phrase, every demonstration of respect, and every glance of genuine care had intrigued him. Not many things interested Dirtyhands, he had long abandoned his search for good things in life. No, this was the Barrel, harsh and unforgiving, it was either kill or be killed.

His harsh words rose again, Saints, he felt terrible. A tiny bud of hope had sprouted against all odds, but if he didn't act soon it would wither. And oh, how desperately Kaz wanted to nurture it, Kaz wanted to believe Y/N could be part of his life. A loyal companion, a clever friend, and maybe with time...

No, Kaz shook his head, she was from a different world, what could he offer her that she didn't already have? Hope Y/N's voice resonated inside his head, and the memory of his previous conversation with her resurfaced.

After the successful Pink Star Necklace heist, Y/N couldn't contain her enthusiasm, still mesmerized by Kaz's talent. Kaz's heart soared with pride, and happiness at being able to make her smile like that, and like the thief he was, he took that image and attentively pocketed her radiant smile where no one but himself could find it.

Kaz recovered his senses, annoyed at himself for getting distracted, and still, he couldn't bring himself to pull away from her heavenly glow. However, some doubts still roamed his mind, hungry dogs gnawing at his insecurities. What if she isn't what she appeared to be? What if she didn't actually care for them, for him? Somehow that idea was a lot more painful to Kaz, than if he had been stabbed repeatedly. But he couldn't delay the inevitable, he had to know.

"Why?"

"I beg your pardon?" Y/N replied, confusion imprinted in her features.

"Why do you do this? Why did you accept to help a bunch of criminals and risk your anonymity, your reputation?" Kaz asked with a serious expression, the smug look had completely banished from his face.

"Why?" Y/n repeated as if hoping someone would answer for her.

"I wish there was an easy explanation as to why I decided to aid you, however..." glancing towards the raven-haired boy with a sideways glance and huff "All of this must seem very suspicious to you and why wouldn't it be? A high-class girl who seems to enjoy gallivanting around the streets. You must think very poorly of me, simply using you for my entertainment."

The young inventor looked down to her lap, nervously wringing her hands together, a sad expression tainting her features. "But I must assure you, Mr. Brekker, I desire you or your friends no harm. You've shown nothing but kindness to me."

And with a resigned sigh, she raised her gaze to match Kaz's, "Why do I do this you ask, well, as unbelievable as it may sound, I simply wish to make myself useful while I have the chance."

"Perhaps this action is more selfish than it may seem, doing this for my sake mostly..." she paused, hidden sadness coating her words "I simply want to see that my knowledge was able to help someone, even if it was just once. "

Kaz continued to observe Y/n with an unreadable expression, making her feel the need to elaborate.

"Every scientist's dream is to see their inventions bear fruit, if I'm able to help you solve this mystery, I won't feel so bad for myself." ruefully smiling, she continued "Even the smallest accomplishment seems like a win to me."

A humorless laugh escaped Y/n, "Maybe I hope to nourish the fantasy that one day I could be a scientist".

With that, a somber silence filled the enclosed space and for the very first time, Kaz felt sympathy for a noble. If it had been anyone else, Dirtyhands would have scoffed and told them to move on, for life was not meant to be fair. But the downcast look Y/n portrayed pulled at his heartstrings.

Kaz was not one to ponder others feeling or to even try to place himself in their shoes but he could now see how a luxurious life such as Y/n's could drain someone's happiness. She would never be able to pursue her dreams as a scientist for the simple fact of being a woman and to add up, she had been born royal.

One day she would be simply sold off to the wealthiest suitor, and her happiness and dreams be dammed. Thinking about her marriage made Kaz surprisingly sad and bitter. However, Kaz did not want to acknowledge that the prospect of losing her once enthusiastic self to someone tired and hollow for a life based on fallacies made him see red.

Kaz had only seen that glimmer of wonder and determination once before, in someone who constantly haunted his days and nights. A ghost of his childhood, a cruel reminder of what hope had been: Jordie...

______

Y/N

The young inventor cautiously approached the table where a row of neatly placed vials glinted below the lamplight, all of them empty except for one. The vial contained a strangely yellow solution, its color akin to flower pollen. Could it be...?

Y/N gingerly picked the tube and proceeded to try to separate the solution's components, specifically searching for that peculiar factor that constituted the same substance that had caused them so much trouble. In a matter of minutes, she had already obtained the results: sunflower pollen and the alkemi-made alloy.

But...how?, Y/N wondered. Obviously the now dead alkemi had produced the alloy but the decomposition of the body showed that he had been dead for at least a week and yet... The killer must have been forcing him to produce the alloy for his poison and since he no longer needed him, the murderer decided to eliminate him.

So if the killer had decided to stop now then it meant... Y/n concluded that Kaz had been right, during their ride to the docks he had surmised that the killer's motivation was vengeance, choosing their own trademark instead of easier methods meant he wanted to induce fear and that he was operating on a list.

But why choose this alkemi and why was he so hard to find that not even Mr.Brekker with all his connections had been unable to find him? Y/N started pacing trying to see the reason behind the killer's thinking. Yes, the alloy was extremely rare but grishas were not that hard to find. The killer could have purchased from different sellers making identification difficult and could have easily saved himself the trouble of holding the alkemi hostage unless... this was personal.

The killer wanted this alkemi and he wanted him to watch, to fear for his fate. If so, then he also had something to do with this web of conspiracies but how were an alkemi, a high-class mercher, Mr. Brekker's informants, and a captain and his crew related? Her mind raced a million miles per second, trying to find a logical connection apart from the fact that Mercher Dupont had hired Captain Wagner to get to Novyi Zem.

Images of green vast fields and yellow petals flooded Y/n´s brain, the question that had haunted her for days resurfacing. Why? Why use sunflowers?

As she frantically paced around the room, she caught a glimpse of a door hidden behind a tattered red curtain. Snatching the stolen gun from the table, she forced the door open squinting at the sudden darkness covering the stuffed room.

Several seconds later she started examining the paper cluttered room until her shoe hit what sounded like a wooden box. Lowering her stance to open the box, her eyes met the sight of too much kruge tightly packed inside along with several other papers.

Quickly scanning through them, Y/n noticed they were business letters, transactions, competitors, and their prices in the market. The last letter urgently requested his presence at the docks for a trip to Noyvi Zem, dated the same day Mercher Dupont hired Captain Wagner's crew.

Her eyes ran from sentence to sentence, mind working quickly to make sense of this newfound information. Mercher Dupont asked for the alkemi's secrecy with the promise of a considerable reward and a change in their lives for once they finished this job they would be the only producers in the market, read the letter. The only requirement was the alkemi's expertise in...flammable substances.

Mind spinning, Y/n stood up and in a haste started recollecting all the letters and evidence she could find, frantic hands stopping once her eyes landed on a document with a name she had come to know in recent days. There, above yellowed notebooks, stood a set of paperwork, some kind of pass to transport oil barrels signed with Kaz Brekker's name.

Before she could ponder the matter any further, Y/n's train of thought was interrupted by the sound of wind crashing inside the laboratory. Rushing back to the main room, Y/N noticed the poison vial was gone and that she had never opened the window while coming in. Dread forming in the pit of her stomach, the young inventor realized she was no longer alone.

TAGLIST:

@getawayfrommewerewolf, @rika90, @princessleah129, @lady1505 @aleksanderwh0r3 @thedelusionreaderbitch @chestnutnewt @mxltifxnd0m

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #shadow and bone #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #the inventor

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

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Someone you loved

Kaz Brekker x reader

Mr. Sandman Part 2

Inspired by the song "Someone you loved" by Lewis Capaldi

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me

This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

Kaz's mind was a raging storm, an ever-shifting landscape. His heart was madly racing and he feared that if it didn't stop soon, it'll burst out of his chest.

Two days had gone by and yet there was no information about Y/N's whereabouts. No one had made an effort to contact him asking for money in exchange for her safety, no blackmail, nothing. Kaz knew the probability of Y/N being alive was shrinking as the days passed.

Kaz felt terrible, guilt crushed his heart in a vicious grip. If he hadn't kicked her out, if he had taken back his words, if he had just... No, thinking about what ifs wouldn't bring Y/N back home. If she's still alive a cruel voice whispered in the back of his mind.

His mind drifted to his darkest memories, horrible images plagued his mind. Rotting flesh beneath his fingers, icy hands grabbing at him, threatening to pull him under the waves. Water filled his lungs, consuming his oxygen and living him in the dark. His head broke the water, gasping for air, Kaz looked around, trying to find something, anything to grab to avoid drowning. Only that now instead of his brother's corpse, he saw Y/N's limp body floating above the water.

Kaz fell to his knees, the pain brought him back to reality. He was trembling, sharp gasps left his body, black dots covered his vision. Y/N would have told him to focus on reality, take in the details, count every little object he could find in the room. But Y/N wasn't here, and it was all his fault.

___________

I need somebody to heal, somebody to know

Somebody to have, somebody to hold

Y/N talked passionately about her latest read, making wild gestures with her hands as if to prove a point. Jesper's arm was slung across her shoulder, head thrown back in a laughing fit. When his cackles died down, Jesper leaned his head on Y/N's shoulder and started mocking her for being able to remember the exact place where phrases were in the book.

Kaz watched silently from his seat in the Crow Club, he knew those touches were purely friendly gestures, and still he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

On many sleepless nights, Kaz thoughts had wandered down a treacherous path, always finding their way to Y/N. His mind had been invaded by images of her: the smile she always wore when she was about to make a witty comment, the way she pursed her lips whenever he asked her to memorize an important document, the furrow of her brows when paying close attention to Kaz's plans.

He snapped out of it, angry at himself for thinking about her, he couldn't afford those thoughts. Kaz's life was dangerous and he had many enemies who wouldn't hesitate to use anything or anyone against him. If he left himself feel, if he let her in, he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for her.

He had tried. He had tried to distance himself, push her away until his feelings dissipated to nothing. However, every time Y/N appeared in his office late at night just to talk about her day, every time she called his name, every time she sent a glorious smile his way, Kaz couldn't bring himself to say no.

And now, looking at Y/N from across the room, a sense of longing clouded his vision. Thoughts of sitting next to her, no space between their bodies, with no fear of touching reminded him of how miserably he had failed.

____________

It's easy to say, but it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

Since Y/N's kidnapping, Kaz had gone completely feral. He had looked for anyone who could provide information. He had kidnapped, tortured, and even killed members of any other gangs he had his suspicions on. He was unstoppable, he wouldn't rest until his Y/N was safe. She isn't even yours because you kicked her out a scornful voice reminded him.

Kaz's whole body hurt, his limp was more prominent than usual, his knuckles were bloodied and a purplish bruise contrasted against his pale skin from a blow he had taken when he was beating the life out of one of the Dime Lion's informants.

How he wished Y/N was there. No matter how many times he came back to the Slat, covered in blood and clutching at his wounds, Y/N's gaze always turned into one of horrified worry.

Y/N had always healed his wounds after a mission, wiping the blood away very carefully in order not to touch his skin. Even when he wasn't bleeding and it was just his leg giving him a bad day or a headache that refused to leave him, Y/N always brought him medicine or tea depending on the situation.

But Y/N was gone and he might not ever see her again. His thoughts lurched him back to the ocean, dead things suffocated him. He clutched his cane tighter, he couldn't have a panic attack now, he needed to find Y/N.

_______

Now the day bleeds into nightfall

And you're not here to get me through it all

The night wrapped the dirty streets of Ketterdam in its wicked hold, the moon loomed ahead casting a palish glow through Kaz's window. Another day had passed and he was no closer to finding Y/N.

He was alone in his office, clutching his cane tighter by the second, its sharp edges bruising his skin, and yet, the pain wasn't enough to keep the waters from rising, Y/N's form surrounded by corpses.

No, he couldn't think of her this way. He had to remain positive, he needed to hope Y/N was still alive somewhere, but for someone like Kaz, remaining positive wasn't something he strived on. Instead, Kaz looked inside his brain, searching for a memory of Y/N to avoid passing out and when he found it, he seized it and hung to it for dear life.

Kaz had heard people say love arrived at the most unexpected times, bloomed in the most unlikely places. People said love wasn't something you chose, something you could control, not a concept you could welcome or shut out of your life at your convenience.

Kaz deemed those people foolish, weak for not being able to control themselves, and as the cold mastermind he was, Kaz brushed off all of their comments. And he would have kept thinking that way if it hadn't been for Y/N during a warm summer evening.

The Crow Club was surprisingly empty, everyone was in a relaxed state, currently resting after a successful heist. Kaz had been working in his office, signing contracts when a soft knock sounded against his door, Y/N peered inside and after receiving Kaz's consent, stepped through the threshold.

Y/N sat in front of his desk, a small smile playing on her face, ensued by a moment of silence, Y/N started talking. Kaz's head perked up at the sound of her voice, eyes leaving the papers to direct his whole attention to her but he had been completely caught off guard by the sight before him.

Y/N's mouth was moving but Kaz's couldn't hear a thing, it was as if someone had stolen the sound so he could only focus on Y/N's heavenly form.

Y/N's hair was slightly disheveled, gusts of wind occasionally brushing lonely strands into different directions, soft locks swishing in compass with a nonexistent melody. Sunset rays filtered through the window, lighting up Y/N's features. Sunlight beams fell gently down the slope of her nose, gently caressed her long lashes, and kissed her tender lips giving them a reddish hue.

At that moment, Kaz realized how dreadfully unjust the world was. How come was the wind able to run his breezy fingers across her beautiful hair? How could the rain brush her skin lovingly without repelling at the idea of skin contact? Why could the Sun kiss her graceful lips and he couldn't?

Kaz wanted to hold her, reach for her whenever he wanted without fear of drowning. He wanted to hug her and nuzzle his nose in her hair affectionately. He wanted to know what her skin felt like under his fingertips. Kaz wanted to know the taste of her lips.

Because he was in love with her.

________

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Y/N laid immobile in his bed, her skin almost as pale as his sheets, soft breaths escaped her lungs. Kaz sat in a chair near her fragile body, his frown deepened every time his eyes landed on a different wound.

Kaz felt like in a déjà vu, a vision that had happened exactly three weeks ago. This was the reason why Kaz had pushed her, why he had evicted her from the Slat, the one home she had ever known. But did it matter? All his efforts to keep her safe had been in vain.

That fateful night, when she had been the distraction in a supposed easy heist, everything had come tumbling down. The nightmares had started back then, where he first saw her all bloodied and beaten and unconscious. They didn't know if she would ever wake up. Kaz had refused to visit her, images of his nine-year-old self seeing her amongst the corpses in the Reaper's Barge haunted his days.

When she had woken up he'd wanted to see her, but he couldn't bring himself to because he knew what he had to do. Kaz couldn't bear the thought of her dying, he couldn't imagine her gone, but if he gave her hope, if she saw how much he cared, she would refuse to leave. He needed her to stay away for her safety

So he had done that, he had ruthlessly yanked his heart out of his chest when he had kicked her out. The words he had said to her tortured him since that day: "Do not think that just because I have kept you around for this long you're irreplaceable." And when he thought he couldn't feel more pain, Y/N had started crying. Silent droplets fell down her cheeks and Kaz felt as if the most savage assassin had ripped his heart into shreds.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Seating there, silently watching Y/N's closed eyes, he was experiencing it all again. When they had found her she had been tied to a chair, unmoving, in one of the Dime Lion's warehouses. He swore his heart had stopped beating, she couldn't be dead, when Nina had checked for her heartbeat and announced it was still there, Kaz's heart reanimated.

Nina had done her best to heal her and now the only thing there was to do was wait until she woke up. This time Kaz had refused to leave her bedside. This time he would do things differently.

He had been a coward, he now realized. He should have never let her go. He should have been braver, stronger, he should have protected her. Now he realized he wanted, no, needed her with him. He had been too scared worrying for the future that he had forgotten to enjoy the present. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

"Kaz?"

His head shot back to Y/N. She was awake, she was alive and he would never let her go.

And with such a fervent emotion, he couldn't have thought himself capable of expressing, he said "Please, don't ever leave me again. "

Thanks for the song recommendation @itsemy01

Taglist:

@getawayfrommewerewolf, @lady1505, @rika90, @thedelusionreaderbitch, @coffeewithoutcaffeine, @aleksanderwh0r3, @princessleah129, @subjecta13-thefangirl

#shadow and bone #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

Mr. Sandman

Kaz Brekker x reader

Inspired by the song "Mr. Sandman" from SYML.

Description: Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream. A beautiful illusion of when they were younger, when things were good. A dream where Kaz hadn't shattered her heart into a million pieces, one where Kaz still cared.

Warnings: angst

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

A beautiful illusion of when they were younger, when it was just the two of them against the world.

Y/N met Kaz Brekker before he earned the name "Dirtyhands" when he was still inexperienced, seeking a way to make fame in the criminal underworld.

Their introduction wasn't a conventional one, the first time he'd laid eyes upon Y/N, Kaz was surveilling a new bank's vault he wanted to crack. Back at the time, Kaz Brekker was just beginning to refine his lock picking abilities, he was more careful, taking longer at figuring out the ways around safe.

Kaz Brekker was attentively watching a vault demonstration the bank was giving in hopes of acquiring new wealthy customers when his bitter coffee eyes landed on Y/N.

She was leaning against a door that led to the bank's depository, eyes closed as if straining to hear the sounds on the other side. A frown upon her face, concentrating, and a few minutes before an employee opened the door she was leaning on, she pushed herself out of the way and left the bank.

The next day, news had spread around the Barrel like wildfire that someone had stolen the diamonds that resided in the new safe that belonged to the bank's depository. That was no coincidence, somehow Y/N had done it. Kaz dedicated his whole afternoon tracking the girl down until he had found her working as a dishwasher in a popular restaurant.

"How did you do it? How did you manage to open the safe?"

Y/N stared back at Kaz, terrified eyes fearing someone might overhear them. Y/N tried to lie about it but he could see straight through them.

"I like memorizing things. I remembered the sounds, every click the locks gave when the vault was being opened." Y/N answered reluctantly

"What kind of things do you like to memorize?" the raven-haired boy prompted.

"Anything that leaves good money."

"I have a job offer for you. "

And just like that, the promise of a very odd friendship began.

____________

Make him the cutest that I've ever seen, give him two lips like roses and clover. Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.

The truth was that Kaz Brekker wasn't gentle in any way. He was selfish, logically cold, and unafraid of danger if it was for the right price.

Their friendship had bloomed in the blood-stained streets, finding solace in each other to survive the hungry beast that was Ketterdam.

Y/N's memory had proven useful, she was Kaz's little library of secrets. Her mind was the vault that safely guarded all types of information; transactions, blueprints, deals that Kaz couldn't risk to curious eyes. Every word was imprinted into Y/N's mind.

Y/N had lied when she said she only memorized things that brought money. She remembered all of Kaz's little ticks: The way he ran his hand through his hair when he was tired, the grip that tightened on his cane when stressed, the joyous glint in his eyes after a successful job, the almost imperceptible tug of his lips during their late-night talks and the shape of his lips when he proudly explained his plans to her.

Y/N knew it was foolish to fall for someone like Kaz, but her heart couldn't stop racing every time they talked. Couldn't stop her gaze searching for him amongst a crowd, the way her breath hitched every time Kaz looked out for her. It was a childish wish and yet, sometimes she could have sworn Kaz cared deeply for her too.

__________

Sandman, I'm so alone, don't have nobody to call my own.

Where had it all gone wrong? What had she done to Kaz for him to shatter her heart the way he did?

One moment she was getting ready to go on a heist, it was supposed to be easy, gather intel, and escape before anyone knew they had been there. It didn't end well.

Y/N had been given the task to distract their target's bodyguards, pretend to be an injured scared girl in need of assistance, but someone had told them the Dregs would be there. A guard had grabbed her harshly and forced her to give away her crew's location, but when she refused he'd beaten her unconscious.

The next morning she had woken up at the Slat, everyone was worried she might have not woken up. However, as soon as she was healed, Kaz called her to his office.

"Why?" Y/N's broken words were met with silence.

"Have I ever failed you? Have I not done everything you asked for?!" she questioned, tears threatening to fall. "Why are you kicking me out?! This is my home too, my family!"

"You won't have to worry about searching for a place to stay. I've already made arrangements, a small apartment is waiting for you." Kaz spoke, expression unreadable.

Y/N wanted to throttle Kaz, shake him up and demand a reason for his sudden decision. He hadn't even visited when she was injured and now he was kicking her out. He had no right, no right to strip away her found family. Had all those night talks meant nothing to him? Were all those small gestures and tiny smiles a ruse?

"You can't do this! I have all your secrets! I have stood by your side longer than anyone", Y/N screamed at Kaz, eyes begging him to say something. To tell her to stay, to tell her he cared.

She never heard those words instead she received a bitter response that mercilessly ripped her heart out. "Do not think that just because I have kept you around for this long you're irreplaceable."

This time Y/N didn't suppress the tears, silently gliding down her cheeks when she walked out of Kaz's office and away from the Slat.

____________

Please turn on your magic beam, Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

A beautiful dream where she wasn't tied to a chair, broken ribs, and blood pouring from a large gauge in her stomach. The Dime Lions had captured her, knowing full well she was one of Kaz's most trusted allies, they decided to torture her until she spilled Brekker's secrets. But Y/N wasn't a traitor and even though Kaz had crushed her heart, she still loved him and would rather die than betray him.

Eyes barely open, black spots clouding her vision, she was fading away. Oh, how she wished that Kaz would come to save her, take her back to the Slat, tell her he was sorry and that he needed her by his side. But dreams were for children, Kaz wouldn't come because he simply did not care, because she was replaceable.

She wanted a dream, one where the punches thrown at her were tender glances. One where the sounds of bones breaking were quiet caring words she'd shared with Kaz once upon a time. Where the coppery taste of blood staining her tongue was the one of hot chocolate she and Kaz used to drink in his office.

Please, bring her a marvelous dream, back where things were good. A dream when Kaz still cared for her. One where he loved her.

Mr. Sandman, please bring me a dream.

@getawayfrommewerewolf, @princessleah129, @rika90, @lady1505

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #shadow and bone #kaz brekker angst #six of crows

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

The Inventor Part 3

Kaz Brekker x reader

Description: A killer is on the loose, eliminating Kaz's informants. In a desperate attempt, Kaz meets a certain inventor that has his mind racing, trying to figure out the complex puzzle she is.

When the news of a murder in Von Raske's autumn ball reached Kaz's ears, his breath froze, an icy hand tightening his grip on his heart. Lord Von Raske was a close acquaintance of the Grand Duke Y/LN, fear invaded his mind, a single statement playing on repeat like a broken melody: Y/N had been there.

Dirtyhands had immediately sent Inej to check up on Y/N while he tried to distract himself by finishing paperwork. Two weeks had passed since their secret rendezvous, two weeks since Y/N had given him the list of components that created the poison and in those two weeks, he hadn't contacted her.

The next morning, he and his crows had spent the whole day making inquiries about possible buyers and indentured Grisha acquiring an excessive amount of alloys. No luck. No one knew anything. The only thing he had gotten were another two corpses with the same symptoms.

He had refused to call Y/N despite the little voice in the back of his mind telling him to bring the brilliant inventor, who would surely enjoy an excuse to abandon her royal life for a few hours. Even when there were no new bodies, these whispers urged him to arrange another meeting so he could just hear her chatter about dissections methods as if she were talking about the weather. Kaz shook his head, tossed his treacherous thoughts into a vault in the back of his mind while scolding himself for wanting the company of someone he barely knew.

Kaz thoughts kept drifting back to the inventor, too worried for her safety that he failed to notice Inej's presence in his office until she quietly spoke.

"She's alright, Kaz, but she believes these murders aren't just an act of vengeance against the Dregs. She wants to meet again to share her theories." Kaz glanced up, evaluating Inej words.

If it weren't for the tragedy at the ball, he would have kept thinking some other gang wanted to initiate a war against the Dregs, but now he was sure this was deeper than a petty quarrel.

Kaz nodded, analyzing the spy's face. Eyes dropping down to Inej's hands, she wore what looked liked to be a set of thin brass knuckles, two rings adjusting at her pinkies and index fingers that joined a smooth metal band facing her palm. Before Kaz could open his mouth, Inej answered his unspoken question.

"Y/N made them for me. She told me she'd noticed my chipped nails and slightly blistered hands from climbing flat buildings. She fabricated these, they work as some type of magnet, using the force of momentum and creating friction on plain surfaces." Inej's gentle voice explained, an endearing look as she stared at her knuckles.

"She gave me some truffles to bring back to the club, she thought Nina might like them."

He hadn't failed to notice Inej's troubled expression when he had ordered her to go to the Y/LN Manor. Whether he wanted it or not, the brilliant royal was worming her way into his Crows' hearts.

Kaz hummed in response, "We are meeting tomorrow at 9 in the morning, I'll tell Jesper to deliver a note."

"I'll do it right now. I want to try these." Inej gestured at the brass knuckles and without a word slipped out the window.

____________

Y/N

"Need a ride, doll?" Mr. Fahey called out, opening the hansom's door, inviting Y/N to hop inside.

Yesterday, Inej had silently returned to her room, bearing Kaz's news about the meeting. Y/N's heart thrummed excitedly in her chest, the notion of seeing the Crows again lighted up her day.

Y/N had told Ms. Ghafa she'd investigated around her social circle and that they needed to pay a visit to Mercher Dupont's valet, Dupont's most trusted employee.

"Greetings and thank you, Mr. Fahey" Y/N said politely as she stepped inside, taking a seat next to the Wraith.

"Why are you so sure the valet will have the answers we are looking for? Is he related to those theories you wanted to speak of?" interrupted Kaz, always so straightforward.

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Brekker. And they aren't just theories. You see, after the very unfortunate incident at the ball, I took it upon myself to investigate Mercher Dupont's whereabouts in the past two weeks."

"Whereabouts? What does that have to do with his murder?" the raven-haired boy pondered.

"Everything. Someone knew he'd be returning from his secret trip today and that he would go directly to the ball. It's quite obvious actually." Y/N said, watching the streets distractedly through the window as the carriage started moving.

"It's not obvious to me." voiced Jesper.

Y/N turned to look at her confused companions. Kaz frowned deepened when the girl turned to him, waiting for him to show he understood. When she was met with silence, the corners of her mouth tugged upwards, clearly proud she had noticed something the infamous criminal mastermind had not. Kaz didn't share her enthusiasm.

"When Mercher Dupont arrived at the ball he was jumpier than usual, eager to avoid conversation with anyone. It was clear he had traveled outside the country: his skin was tanned, constantly scratching and pulling at his sleeves covering what were likely mosquito bites. His shoe soles were stained with grass and an orange stain, probably jurda, laces had been recently cleaned but messily tied as if he had been in a rush to arrive on time. Jurda, mosquitos, and scorching sun at this time of year, we can only find those three in Novyi Zem." Y/N beamed, words tumbling out of her lips as if her life depended on them.

"Besides, my mother talked with his wife this morning. The poor woman said that weeks prior he'd raced into his hansom, disappearing for two whole weeks and when he had finally returned, he and his valet refused to tell her a thing." the inventor finished, just as the carriage stopped moving.

"Wait, I thought we were heading to Dupont's residence." Y/N interrupted, as the trio jumped down the carriage, a few blocks away from a jewelry shop.

"Tell me, Y/LN, would you like to see what we do for a living?" Kaz asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I did not come here to witness a robbery. Much less to help with your wicked schemes." Y/N retorted, a defiant raise of her head, body betraying her when she stepped out of the carriage as well.

"I thought you'd enjoy participating in illegal affairs since you seem so eager to associate with a bunch of criminals. Where's your sense of adventure?" Kaz taunted with a smug look on his face.

"I left it on the carriage and would very much like to go back to get it." returned the girl, crossing her arms and straightening her posture. "If you believe my willingness to help you indicates I relish taking things from others then, you are awfully mistaken."

"How do you know you don't like it if you've never done it?" Jesper joined in.

"There's nothing like a heist early in the morning." the sharpshooter said, twirling his guns before hiding them in his coat.

Y/N let out an exasperated sigh but followed nonetheless. Kaz Brekker will be my downfall.

__________

Jesper took the driver's place, dismissing the coach, being their "escape driver" as Kaz had dubbed him.

Y/N entered the shop first, a veil covering her face, and pretended to be deeply interested in some ruby rings. She was only there to watch, Kaz had assured.

A few minutes later, Kaz walked in wearing a security guard uniform, where he had managed to obtain one, Y/N had no idea. He slowly prowled to the counter, adopting his role with such grace that it stunned Y/N. When he reached the vendor, he started conversing with him as if they had known each other for years.

Every step, every gesture, every word was calculated. In another life, Mr. Brekker would have made a fine actor. A very charming and talented actor. The thought crossed Y/N's mind before she could stop it. Kaz Brekker was a dangerous man, he'd heard the horrified whispers that preceded his name, a heartless monster that terrified the streets of Ketterdam.

But now that she knew him, Y/N wasn't sure if he was as despicable as the rumors stated. He could have taken her hostage when her identity was revealed, betrayed what she had been doing in Mr. Zhang's shop in hopes of earning money, but he didn't.

Most importantly he had never doubted her abilities when he discovered she was a woman, never belittled her as many high-class men had done. In fact, she could have sworn Kaz was pleasantly surprised when she'd earnestly started the autopsy. His lips barely tugging upwards, when she handed him the list.

Y/N had also noticed how he was always covered head to toe, not a sliver of skin showing apart from his head. She had perceived the way he always avoided touches, careful of not brushing against anyone, staying away from big crowds. It made Y/N wonder why skin contact repulsed him, she wanted to figure out his enigmatic persona and discover the reason for which his heart raced.

"Fire! Fire!" with a startled jump she came back to reality, eyes landing on the blazing curtains near a thin metal drawer that was slowly melting in revealing golden necklaces.

Y/N desperately hoped this wasn't Kaz's plan, by now everyone inside was aware of the fire, quickly pushing to get to the exit. Y/N squinted her eyes at the smoke, looking for Kaz, scared he had been injured during this little stunt. But before she could call out his name, she was being pushed outside.

Y/N hurried back to hansom where Jesper and Inej were already waiting, rapidly swirling around, she almost bumped into Kaz's chest.

"That's your idea of fun?" Y/N questioned, sending a murderous glare Kaz's way, a mask to hide her relief at finding him safe and unscathed.

"Says the person who finds joy in carving corpses open." Kaz retorted, his infamous smirk widening and stepping inside the hansom, closing the door after the two girls. "But it worked, didn't it?"

Y/N turned to look at him in confusion, Kaz's smirk widening when he pulled a pendant from his coat, but it wasn't any ordinary piece, it was THE Pink Star Necklace. This necklace was the source of the hottest gossip, created by a durast master as a gift for the upcoming arrival of a Shu dignitary's daughter.

"Incentive and distraction. I knew this necklace was kept in that shop, I just didn't know where." Kaz explained proudly "The obvious instinct was rescuing the most valuable piece inside."

"That being the necklace, delivered into your waiting hands." Y/N laughed, an incredulous grin at Kaz's ingenuity.

The rumors were true, he indeed had a wonderful mind. The crime of the century without even lifting a finger. She couldn't help her smile, wondering what other tricks Kaz had under his sleeve.

"Very clever, Mr. Brekker. I'm impressed."

Kaz's smug look never faltered but his eyes softened "You've just seen the beginning."

_________

The valet had been lounging outside when they arrived at Dupont's residence. The three crows and the inventor approached, Kaz skipped straight to the point without waiting for pleasantries. After several unanswered questions and the valet affirming he couldn't tell where his master had disappeared to for the last couple of weeks, Kaz looked ready to bash his skull with his cane.

However, before his blood painted the white roses red and Y/N had a new body to examine, she quickly intervened.

"Does Mercher Openheilmer know of your affair with his sister?" and just like that, the valet was desperately sputtering the whole story of his life out.

Apparently, Mercher Dupont had woken him up in haste, ordered him to fetch the carriage, and to drive to Fourth Harbor as if the Devil himself chased after his soul. When they had gotten there, his master had hired a schooner and Captain Wagner's small crew to Novyi Zem apart from that, he knew nothing more.

In a quick bumpy ride, they arrived at Fourth Harbor looking for a certain Captain and his crew.

"Blackmail. Who would have thought Marchioness Y/N performed such ghastly deeds." Kaz mocked, while they walked to Wagner's petit schooner.

"Oh hush, you're just mad I didn't let you beat the valet up."

Kaz raised a hand, gesturing for all of them to be quiet. Heavy grunts and shattering glass could be heard from inside the ship. Inej drew her knives and Jesper pulled out his pistols, each one went their own way while Y/N trailed quietly behind Kaz as they entered the dark rickety schooner.

The captain's quarters were a mess, papers scattered and drawers open, someone was in a hurry. Y/N saw a shiny pistol laying on a coffee-stained desk, it was loaded, she hesitantly grasped it, adjusting her grip like he had seen Jesper do. She had never held a gun before, but any form of protection was welcome.

Swirling back around, Kaz was nowhere in sight, with uncertain steps she stepped into the adjoining room, shakily raising the gun. A burly blond-haired man, Captain Wagner, shoved clothes desperately into a suitcase, he froze and stared wide-eyed at Y/N. The man was sweating, pudgy hands shaking, ragged breaths escaping his mouth, he was terrified.

"I mean no harm, I simply wish to talk about one of your clients, Mercher Dupont." Y/N raised her hands in surrender, daintily placing the gun on the floor not wanting to scare the man further.

The captain nodded, taking a step forward, but before Y/N could utter a word, he lunged at her knife glinting in the moonlight. A surprised gasp left Y/N's lips when the man shoved her to the floor. Captain Wagner pinned her down, knife raised in a direct line to her throat. When his hand dived to meet its target, Y/N desperately raised her hands catching his grip, a poor attempt at preventing the sharp metal from sealing her fate. Wagner pushed harder, merely seconds before her blood decorated the cabin's walls, a crow's head sunk into the plane of her attacker's shoulder, eliciting a broken scream from the man, and with a swift kick to the ribs, Kaz yanked the man off of Y/N. Drawing quivering breaths, Y/N sat up and watched as Kaz pressed the hill of his boot into Wagner's injured shoulder.

"Why did you attack her and why in such a hurry? Why was Dupont so eager to leave for Novyi Zem?!" Kaz growled, rage blazing in his midnight eyes.

"P-Please, I got nothin' to do with Dupont's business," Wagner whined, a sharp cried pierced the air when Dirtyhands shattered his shoulder blade with a quick jab. Y/N tore her gaze away, when she turned to reprimand Kaz about his ways, the animalistic glare he sent her way snapped her mouth shut.

"He hired my crew to get him to Novyi Zem, paid good money if we never told anyone about his trip and the many oil barrels he'd insisted on carrying there." he whimpered, trying to free himself from Kaz's visceral grip.

"If I had known the four members of my crew would end up dead for his secrets, I would have never done it. He said his life depended on the secrecy and when I saw your little friend there I thought she was here to kill me just like Dupont. "

"What did he do with the oil barrels?"

"I don't know, Saints! He brought back a Zemeni man, though. P-P-Please, I have done nothin' wrong."

-----------

No one spoke during their walk back to the carriage, a thick silence hung in the air accompanied by the coopery scent wafting from Kaz's blood-splattered clothes.

Y/N was the first to break the silence, "Where are we headed to?"

"We are going to gather information and you are going back home." Kaz harshly replied, voice dripping anger.

"But-"

"No Y/N, what the hell were you thinking?! How more stupid can you be, lowering your guard down?!" Kaz snapped, black charcoal eyes burning a hole through her head.

"The man was trembling, I didn't want to scare him. I-"

"Kindness gets you killed! What was I thinking bringing down a pampered foolish rich girl who wants to play detective!"

"Kaz, there's no need t-" Jesper started.

"No, Jesper! She's a liability! We could have lost Wagner because she refused to use a damn gun!" Kaz snarled, chest heaving.

It would have hurt less if Kaz had slapped her, his words gnawed at Y/N's heartstrings. And yet, she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing the broken look on her face. Y/N schooled her features into that false look of indignance and serious arrogance she had practiced all her life.

"Very well, Mr. Brekker. It's getting late after all" she stated. Inej's comforting hand fell upon her shoulder, she smiled even when tears threatened to fall and glanced at the bleary world outside.

_____________

Fine, if Mr. Brekker isn't willing to speak anymore, I'll take matters into my own hands. Three days and no sign of Kaz. It's okay Y/N reassured herself, she could navigate the streets of the Barrel just fine.

After they had talked with Wagner and discovered Dupont's unseemly affairs that caused the death of four sailors who were also Kaz's informants, Y/N had traveled to The Exchange and after probing for answers (more like blackmailing dealers with Zia Francesca's never-ending gossip) she had gotten the address to a small house where most of the chemicals in the list had been delivered.

Pulling out a gun she had stolen from her father's collection, Y/N knocked on the door. She had failed to use a gun once and it had cost her honest companionship, she wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

The door swung wide open; a sickening smell floated in the air. A scent that made Y/N's eyes water, the scent of something rotten.

Taglist:

@getawayfrommewerewolf, @rika90, @princessleah129, @lady1505

#shadow and bone #six of crows #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker x reader

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

That's the sound of my heart breaking. I loved this!

FLASHBACKS

kaz brekker x gn!reader

synopsis: y/n suffers from kaz’s ignorance.

cw: angstttt, swearing

wc: 1.3k

a/n: anyways, enjoy the pain!!!

navigation

The sun was shining brightly, triggering Nina to yell at all of the Crows to spend the day in the city where all the shops were located.

Matthias and Y/N were looking at the different pastries in the shop window.

“Is that a sheep?” he said, pointing to the vanilla cupcake with icing.

Their eyes squinted in concentration. “I think it’s a goat,” they mumbled.

“It’s body is round, though.”

“Goats can be round.” Y/N looked up at him. “Don’t body-shame the poor goat. You goat hater.”

“Goat hater?” he grinned, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, goat hater. That’s exactly what you are!”

Matthias laughed and slung an arm around their neck, pulling them away from the display. They ended up back with Nina, Kaz, and Wylan. Y/N stood half-behind Kaz as they tuned in to their friends freaking out about charms and other knick knacks.

“Where’s Inej and Jesper?” Y/N asked.

“They went to the tailors. Inej is getting her shoes fixed,” Nina explained.

“Why is she getting them fixed?” they scratched the back of their neck.

Something brushed their other hand. When Y/N looked down, they saw Kaz’s gloved fingers reaching out for theirs. His eyes were still trained on their friends. Y/N intertwined their fingers with his and his thumb immediately rubbed against their skin gently. His chest didn’t hitch and his face was normal.

“They got caught on a nail while climbing,” Kaz replied, glancing at Y/N over his shoulder casually.

“Isn’t it going to cost a lot to repair?”

“There’s a Fabrikator there who used to work at the menagerie,” said Nina. “Since she knows us, she repairs things for free.”

Y/N had to resist the urge to rest their chin on Kaz’s shoulder that was so close to them.

When they looked back down at their hand, his was gone and so was the Ketterdam street. It was their bedroom in the Slat with the dark sky outside the small window.

Y/N flexed their fingers as their muscles began to tense. Their arms wrapped around their legs, bringing them into their chest protectively. They rested their chin on their knee, head titling as tears slowly tracked down their cheeks.

There was a knock at the door, but Y/N didn’t respond. They entered anyway. Nina’s face peaked around the corner and her features softened at the sight on the bed. She sat on the edge and took the teen in her arms, planting a gentle kiss to their forehead.

“Have you eaten?” she said quietly.

Y/N shook their head. “I don’t want to.”

“You need to eat.”

“I don’t want to,” they repeated.

Y/N was thrown around in the freezing cold water, the baleen blown up around their gums. Then, there was a split second of when they were hit in the back of the head, and nothing else.

Everyone strained on the rocks, coughing up water or catching their breath after the horror of a water slide. Except, it wasn’t everyone.

“Y/N,” Kaz mumbled, eyes searching his surroundings. “Y/N,” he spoke a little louder, painfully forcing himself to his feet.

“What?” Nina said.

“Y/N/N. Where’s Y/N/N?” he rushed.

It was like a switch flipped. Everyone but Kuwei jumped up and began calling their name, looking over, under, and behind stone. When no one got a response, Matthias dove for the water. Nina’s hand clasped over her mouth and Kaz sat back down harshly as he stared towards the river, eyes wide in overpowering alarm.

The fifteen seconds Matthias was under felt like hours for the people on the surface. With an audible gasp, the Fjerdan jumped out of the water, Y/N’s limp body under his arm.

Matthias put a finger to their neck the same time as Nina asked, “Are they still breathing?”

He shook his head quickly. “No pulse.”

Nina looked like her heart had been ripped from her chest.

“Come. On. Come. On,” Matthias growled the words in time with his aid.

No matter how many pumps of his hands against their heart or puffs of air from his lungs into theirs, they didn’t budge. Then, just as Nina was about to push him aside to use her skills, a sort of miracle happened.

“Come. On!” With a hard slam to Y/N’s chest from Matthias’ large fist, their body sprung forward. Y/N choked and doubled over the moment their chest attempted to gasp. Ice-cold water erupted from their lungs as they coughed and gagged.

They leaned against Nina, clinging onto her arm for dear life. Y/N’s eyes found Kaz’s. He was breathing heavily through parted lips. They were communicating some sort of comforting words through their eyes, but Y/N thought it was more them sharing comfort in knowing they understood each other exactly in that exact moment. Both of their walls had a crack in them and they could see each other through the splintering.

But that crack was gone, it was a wall. It was the wall of the Slat again. They were still in the Heartrender’s arms, but not for the same reason.

“Oh, no.” Y/N made for the bathroom and bent over the toilet as their stomach lurched. They put a hand over their eyes as if shielding themselves from the world, as if trying to escape that exact moment.

“He’ll come around, Y/N,” said Nina soothingly from the doorframe.

“No, Nina,” they said sternly, “he won’t. I worked so hard for him and this is what I get. I feel like I wasted my time, like I was pathetic enough to even think things would work out.”

“I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do with the money,” Y/N said. “I’m thinking of leaving.”

“Where?” Kaz asked quickly.

“I don’t know.” Their eyes felt like they were tethered, they couldn’t look away. The tension was terribly thick around them. It irritated Y/N he wouldn’t say what he so clearly wanted to. “I don’t have anything here,” they continued. “Everyone is going to leave and I won’t have anything left. I need to find the thing that is giving me purpose.”

“You haven’t even looked,” said Kaz. “How do you know it’s not here?”

“It might be here,” they nodded. “It might be. But it hasn’t given me a reason to stay.”

“I should have left when I had the chance.”

Nina hesitated. “He isn’t doing well. He has refused to come out of his office and when he does he’s in terrible moods.”

“Boo hoo for him.”

“He cares about you, Y/N … he loves you.”

They felt tears burn their eyes as they forced themselves not to cry out. “He loves me,” their voice quivered in indignation. “He told me he’s tired of me and that I am a liability.”

“He says things he doesn’t mean all the time, Y/N, you kno—”

Y/N whipped around to face her. “I have put up with his shit for four years because I love him. I have sacrificed things because I love him. I have been patient because I love him.” They paused. “He doesn’t know what love is even if it slapped him in the face. I didn’t break myself down for him just so he could have some sort of— fucking mental breakdown and remind me of how I felt at one point in my life.”

“Forgiveness isn’t to be asked for. It is earned.”

“Is that what you intend to do?” his voice was cold. “By running away?”

“I won’t try to love someone who doesn’t know how to love me back.”

“You have nothing to lose when you have the chance to leave, so take it,” he said.

“I have something to lose if you’re somewhere alive while everyone else is safe.”

The silence was a roaring thunderclap between them.

“Don’t be stupid, Y/N.”

“I don’t deserve someone that purposely makes it impossible for me to love them.”

“What’s stupid is depriving yourself of what you deserve. At least I’m not afraid to long for something.”

“I long for something,” he said quickly. “I long for something,” his eyes bored into theirs. “But it’d be stupid of me to get my hopes up.”

tag list @wafflesandschemingfaces @tj-writes-things @pansysgirlfriend @wtfrae @risxx

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

So adorable!

Through the Storm // Kaz Brekker

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader, Platonic!Jesper Fahey x Reader

Summary: Jesper tries tirelessly to set up his "single" best friend. Meanwhile, Kaz and Reader reflect on the origins of their secret relationship.

Prompts:

-"Let me go." "I can't."

-"You looked cold."

-And some inspiration from "You are in Love" by Taylor Swift.

Warnings: Mild violence and peril, alcohol.

Genre: Fluff. Because it's me. And some romance/drama/humor.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: AAAAH!!!! I finally finished it!!! Where do I even begin?? Thank you to the wonderful @thereagles for tagging me in your 300 follower celebration/writing challenge. Rowan, I was so honored!! :D

Many thanks to @duskwood-legacies for brainstorming with me on this one -you are AMAZING. <3

And to everyone who supports my feeble attempts at Shadow and Bone fics...THANK YOU. I am running off a very basic knowledge of how the universe works, but I love these characters. :)

(Sorry for any mistakes, I proofread and edited until my brain hurt. :P)

Without further ado...I tried. I hope you enjoy!! <3

Almost everyone at the Crow Club seemed hell-bent on setting you up with someone, and your best friend Jesper was no exception. In fact, he was the ring-leader of every half-baked plot to set you up.

There was no shortage of times when Jesper would elbow you and tease you mercilessly, bemoaning your apparent singleness.

“Really Y/N, you need to come out with me sometime.”

“Jesper…”

“I know, I know. But if you haven’t had a good time going out, it’s because you haven’t come out with me. Trust me, darling, it’s an experience.”

“I’m fine, Jesper. Really.”

“I just can’t stand to see you lonely.”

“I’m not lonely, I promise. How could I be lonely with you around?” You ask, nudging him playfully.

“I am pretty fantastic.” Jesper said, and the topic was dropped -for a while.

But to his mounting frustration, every attempt of his to set you up was met with polite, but firm resistance.

Even now, as you sat in the noisy Crow Club beside Jesper, he was talking a mile a minute, waving his arms in an animated fashion. The combination of the high from a successful heist and alcohol flowing through his system was undoubtedly making Jesper even more animated than usual.

You looked up and your heart stirred in your chest when you caught a glimpse of Kaz across the dark room.

He was standing against the wall with a tight grip on his cane. His dark eyes that never seemed to stop moving were scanning the room.

A moment later, his eyes settled on you and his lips twitched in the slightest smile.

“Y/N, are you even listening to me?” Jesper elbowed you and you flinched, nearly knocking over a mug of alcohol.

Quick as a flash, he caught it, and his eyes sparkled. “Jumpy tonight?”

You looked across the room, but Kaz was gone.

“No, just over-tired.” You said, pushing your chair back. “I’m gonna go back to the Slat and get some sleep."

“Alright, alright.” Jesper conceded.

You felt his curious eyes follow you until the door closed behind you.

A storm was rolling in and the streets of the Barrel were unusually quiet as you made your way to the Slat.

In the Slat, your foot landed on the squeaky step near the top of the stairs and a figure emerged from the shadows.

Kaz wasn’t quite smiling, but his eyes were soft as he looked at you.

“Took you long enough.”

You rolled your eyes. “You know what it’s like trying to get away from Jesper. Besides, I’m always worth the wait.”

His lips quirked slightly as you joined him on the landing.

“Shall we?” You asked, and he nodded.

You ascended the final flight of stairs, to the very top of the Slat, and reached the attic at last.

While Kaz removed his overcoat and hat, you immediately headed for the window at the far end of the room.

Kaz let out a low chuckle as you pressed your nose against the pane of glass. “It almost looks pretty from up here.” You say, sinking down comfortably in one of his chairs.

Kaz sat down across from you, keeping one hand on his cane.

“Does anyone suspect?”

“Nope. And who can blame them? I still have some trouble believing it.”

Like someone had shot you out of a cannon, you sprang up out of your seat and into Kaz’s small kitchen, where you began to bustle around with his pots and pans.

You cast him a look over your shoulder. “I mean…us?”

"Well, the circumstances were rather extraordinary."

Outside the window, the ominous rumble of thunder made the walls of the Slat tremble slightly. And just like that, the memories began to wash over you.

“It was a night like this, wasn’t it?” You murmured quietly.

“Yes.”

There was something about Kaz that you immediately felt drawn to. Of course, you never expected him to share your feelings.

He had a reputation, after all -he was Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel.

And you knew Kaz. You knew even if he did inexplicably share your feelings somehow, it would take the act of a Saint for him to ever act upon it.

And then the day came.

It was a huge job, worth thousands of kruge. The task was to steal a rare gem from a mercher's mansion.

For anyone else, the dark storm blowing in from the north might have been seen as a bad omen, but Kaz Brekker wasn’t superstitious. If there was one thing he had faith in, it was himself, and his ability to make a plan.

Everyone was in place. Kaz's plan was unfolding perfectly.

Everything was going well.

Too well.

Rule number one of any successful heist: never get comfortable.

And you weren't. Not really.

In fact, you felt a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, something you couldn't quite place your finger on.

The sense of danger, and the very worst kind.

When you know it's there, stalking you in the shadows like a predator, but you don't know where it will strike from.

You tried to push the feeling away, writing it off as paranoia.

After all, everything was going well.

And just like that, it wasn't.

You didn't even know how it had happened, but on your way to the rendezvous point, you were separated from Jesper.

You rounded a corner and suddenly, the foreboding sense of danger had a face in the form of a huge guard who knew you didn’t belong.

He grabbed your arm with an iron grip and yanked you towards him with such force, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he dislocated your shoulder.

“Let me go!” You weren’t a damsel in distress by any means -you hadn’t survived on the Ketterdam streets by accident.

But fighting against him was the equivalent of fighting against a tree.

“You’re one of those Barrel Rats, aren’t ya?” His voice was raspy and his acrid breath flooded your senses. "You think we don't know about your little band of thieves?"

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Then you don’t have a thing to be worried about.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“To our Heartrender. Like I said, if you’re innocent, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

You swung your foot out and landed a solid blow to his knee.

He hissed in pain and his grip on you loosened slightly. Just enough for you to wrench yourself out of his grasp and take off.

You practically flew down the hallway. Your lungs were on fire, but you couldn’t stop. Tears burned in the corners of your eyes and you prayed like you had never prayed before that you would find the exit.

But the winding halls were like a labyrinth, and you were completely turned around.

You had spent hours studying the blueprints before the heist, and in theory, you should know them like the back of your hand. But since losing Jesper, you were completely lost and unsure which direction you were going.

Up ahead, you spotted a set of heavy wooden doors.

Freedom.

Thunder crashed outside and you knew you wouldn’t complain for a second about being drenched in the rain, as long as you were free.

You rammed your entire body against the doors and all the air vanished from your lungs.

The doors didn’t lead outside, they led into the mercher’s library.

You spun around, but the guard was already blocking the exit, now holding a metal rod-like weapon.

Before you had a chance to react, he swung the rod and you felt the bones in your leg shatter as you crashed to the floor, nearly blacking out from the pain.

Your mouth was open in a silent scream, all the air completely gone from your lungs.

He grabbed your hair and dragged you towards the door, and all you could do was sob.

You were barely conscious when he suddenly let you go.

Through half-lidded eyes you saw a scuffle. Grunting. Swearing.

And outside, the thunder kept crashing. Lightning lit up the room and you could swear you saw Kaz for a second.

The darkness was comforting. There was no pain in the darkness.

"Y/N. Y/N, wake up!"

In a haze of pain, you struggled to open your eyes. The smell of smoke was heavy in the air and you felt uncomfortably warm.

Oddest of all, Kaz was leaning over you, jabbing you with his cane.

"Kaz…?"

"We have to get out of here."

You tried to stand up, but the excruciating pain in your leg rendered you paralyzed.

"I...I can't. I can't move."

The crackling of flames suddenly reached your ears, and the heavy smoke coated your throat and stung your eyes.

A few feet away, you caught a glimpse of a broken oil lamp, which must have started the fire during the fight.

"Let me go." Your eyes watered with tears.

"I can't." Kaz's voice was laced with more emotion than you had ever seen before, and it was that moment when you knew for sure you were dreaming. "Saints, Y/N, I'm not leaving you."

"Kaz, please…”

He gritted his teeth and lifted you up in his arms. The pain of being moved was too great, and you slipped unconscious almost immediately.

Kaz saved your life. And when you woke up in the Slat, and your memory slowly started to return, you were convinced that Kaz would never speak to you again.

What happened instead was quite the opposite.

Turns out, that fateful heist was exactly the extraordinary circumstances needed for two of the most stubborn people in Ketterdam to admit their feelings for each other.

“It hasn't been easy.” Kaz said quietly, and his voice brought you back to the present. "But I have to say...I'm quite happy with how things have turned out." He ran his fingers over the crow head of his cane and cast a small smile in your direction.

“Me too.” You smiled at him for a moment before turning back to the stove. A few minutes later, the room was filled with the smell of sizzling oil and kernels of popcorn bouncing against the inside of the pot like rain drumming against a metal roof.

As you prepared the simple snack, you could almost feel it all melt away. The reality of the cold, dark world you lived in. The gritty, constant battle for survival could almost be forgotten amidst the cozy warmth of the Slat.

A few moments later, you sat down on the couch with a heaping bowl of popcorn.

You and Kaz talked a little, but quickly fell into a comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company.

You were safe, and you were together. And that’s all that mattered.

Outside the window, the sky grew darker as the storm clouds continued to gather. The deep rumble of thunder and steady patter of rain served as a powerful reminder that you were survivors. Your eyelids grew heavy with sleep and you closed them.

Just for a few seconds and then I’ll go to my room.

You were sound asleep within seconds.

~~~

“Where’s Kaz?” Inej asked, polishing the gleaming silver on one of her knives. It was the next morning and the group sat at the breakfast table. They had finished eating already, but you and Kaz were still nowhere to be seen.

“I don’t know, but if he doesn’t get down here soon, I’m eating his waffles.” Nina announced.

“Not just Kaz…where’s Y/N?” Jesper asked.

“She’s never late for breakfast.” Matthias said.

“Odd that they’re both missing.” Nina commented. She raised her brows and her eyes took on a mischievous gleam. “Very interesting indeed.”

Jesper pushed his chair back from the table. "I'll find the sleepyheads."

Your room was empty. Your bed was still perfectly made, like you hadn’t even made it to your room last night.

You could hold your own just fine, but Jesper couldn’t help the twinge of worry that formed in the pit of his stomach.

He climbed the stairs to the attic and rapped his knuckles against Kaz’s door.

There was no response. He pushed the door open slightly.

The worry immediately vanished, replaced by a feeling of disbelief and amusement.

The sun streaming through the window at the far end of the room slanted perfectly against your sleeping form.

Kaz's overcoat was draped over you, and even in sleep, your lips were turned upward in a small smile.

Kaz was asleep on the couch beside you. You weren’t touching, exactly, but there was no mistaking the clear intimacy of the moment.

A half-eaten bowl of popcorn sat on the table in front of you.

Jesper chuckled to himself as he shut the door, giving the two of you a few more moments of peace.

Because the moment you made it downstairs, the teasing would be absolutely merciless.

~~~

When you woke up, the sun was streaming through the window and you felt comfortably warm and content.

You yawned and stretched, expecting to be in your bed. It was only when you rolled over and fell onto the floor that you fully awoke and realized where you were.

"Oh no, what time is it?"

Kaz sat up. His hair was messy and his eyes were still foggy with sleep. "We're late for breakfast. Hopefully the others will be too hung over to notice."

"Did you put your coat over me last night?"

"You looked cold." He muttered.

"You're sweet."

"Only for you. And don't let that get around the Barrel."

You yawned. "Kaz..."

"Yes?" He was already bustling around the room, making preparations for the day.

"You do realize there's no way the others aren't going to know something is up, right?"

"I know."

"Well, we'll face it like we face everything else."

"How is that?"

"Together." You smiled up at him and he couldn't help but smile back.

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

The Inventor Part 2

Kaz Brekker x reader

Description: A killer is on the loose, eliminating Kaz's informants. In a desperate attempt, Kaz meets a certain inventor that has his mind racing, trying to figure out the complex puzzle she is.

Hope you like it, let me know what you think.

Kaz

A corpse? That's what she wanted? Did she think that he just kept all the bodies of his deceased workers in his room? How the hell was he supposed to get his hands on the corpse of one of his poisoned informants?

One day after meeting the young inventor, Kaz had sent Inej to gather answers to the Y/LN Manor. And just as promised, the girl had already identified most of the compounds, but due to "careless and messy manipulation", clearly referring to Kaz's pouch, she had been unable to determine a specific substance that acted as a catalyst. Inej returned to the Slat with Y/N's message asking for a meeting and a request Kaz wasn't exactly expecting.

According to Y/N, it was of the utmost importance for her to examine the body if she hoped to pinpoint the missing compound not to mention it provided a perfect opportunity for Kaz to tell her about how the poison had captured his attention.

Inej had returned later than usual, smiling and carrying a small brown bag that wafted a sweet and delicious scent. When Kaz had raised his eyebrows in question, Inej had told him Y/N had given her some recently baked cookies. He grunted in response and kept working, but his mind kept drifting back to the cookie bag and what that small act meant.

Inej was cautious but he also knew that she always searched for kindness in people. That snack could have been simply just a gift but Kaz wouldn't have made it this far if he considered all people as kind-hearted. Y/N was a stranger, a rich stranger from the highest of ranks of society who probably didn't care if Barrel rats like him lived or not. Y/N hadn't asked for a favor nor did she need money, she just wanted to know, that unsettled Kaz more than he liked to admit.

He had spent the day gathering information about her, her personal life, hobbies, and all the rumors he could find. He had found absolutely nothing that could give him an insight into the girl's intentions, he had finished empty-handed with the information he already knew: she was the only daughter of one of the richest men in Ketterdam, the perfect personification of a wealthy royal daughter, an innocent and pious little thing that went to Church with her family. Kaz scoffed at that, the defying look she gave her at their secret rendezvous accompanied with her enthusiasm for carving a corpse open proved she was far from innocent.

No, until he had more facts he wouldn't let his guard down. And yet, a small part of him yearned for her actions to be good-intentioned. Stop, hope is a dangerous thing. He had already made the mistake of hoping when he was nine and look where it got him.

Kaz returned his gaze to the papers in front of him, huffing in annoyance, he started writing down orders to get a corpse for Y/N.

_______________

Y/N : One day after the meeting

Y/N was quietly sitting at her vanity, a soft smile adorned her face, gaze completely lost on her new device when Inej, soundlessly crept inside her bedroom.

After Kaz Brekker had left the shop near the Church of Barter, she no longer felt the giddy spark she had when she left her manor. She couldn't blame Mr. Zhang for telling Mr. Brekker about their association, he was an old jumpy man who wished no trouble upon no one. She had left all the concoctions that Mr. Zhang had order, but she didn't show him her latest joy, she no longer felt as excited.

This new invention she had come up with consisted of a music box. But it was no ordinary music box, far from it. Y/N had noticed how most of the music boxes got damaged with time when the metal rusted and the music no longer sounded like a melody but more like a haunted house. So, instead of depending on metal to play music, why not use water vapor. Yes, she had spent four days perfecting the pressure at which each piston released the water so it was a perfect copy of one of the melodies in the Komedie Brute. Four days making sure that the amount of heat the flame distributed was enough to transform the water into vapor but not so fast it was gone before the song ended. And now, here it was, a vapor-based music box with a decorative firebird in the center that literally caught fire, warming the water below.

Mind too caught up on the mechanics of her own work, that, when the Wraith materialized from the shadows behind her, Y/N sent a rain of screws and nuts toppling down the floor when Inej's hand landed on her shoulder.

Wide-eyed, Y/N turned around to face the apparition in her room. The Suli girl raised her hands, to show she intended no harm and in a kind voice spoke:

"I'm not here to hurt you. Kaz Brekker sent me to check up on your progress."

With a sigh of relief, Y/N straightened relaxed her posture. "Why, of course, should have assumed Mr. Brekker would send someone. Please, take a seat. " with a small smile, she gestured to a plush burgundy armchair.

"As promised, I have successfully identified most of the compounds. However, I fear identifying the catalyst agent won't be possible unless I conduct a thorough autopsy on the unfortunate victim. The needle I was given was in an atrocious condition, too many foreign compounds had already interacted with it." Y/N answered, finishing with a hopeful tone.

Inej nodded her head and responded, "I'll let Kaz know, thank you Marchioness Y/LN." Inej turned around, making a bee-line for the window.

"You must not be thinking of going out in this beastly weather. Please, stay until this horrendous downpour ceases." Y/N quickly called back, wrapping her silk shawl around her petite frame, as if the thought of stepping outside was enough to send a chill running down her spine.

Inej hesitated, directing a fleeting glance at the crying sky outside, she resumed to her previous seat.

"Would you like a piece of Cinamon-coated Pavlova? I guarantee you won't regret it, the caramelized peaches are sinfully appetizing!" and before the Suli girl could respond, Y/N was rushing out of her room, the dainty patter of her heels clicking down the stairs.

Her room was exactly what Inej had expected: luxurious and overly grand. But there was something about it that Inej couldn't quite place, her room was tidy to the extreme, all the expensive perfume bottles lined up, gaps between that appeared as if they had been measured with a ruler. Nothing in her room showed a preference or indication of what she truly liked, at first sight, the room would have seemed like the perfect fairytale but now, upon close observation, the room looked generic, hollow, and cold. The spy wondered if all the riches were worth living into a life as impersonal as hers.

Y/N returned, carrying a tray full of fancy desserts Inej couldn't even pronounce.

"The baker proclaims himself a master of crème brûlées. I prefer his fruit-stuffed truffles, though. Mouthwatering" Y/N commented, gingerly placing the tray on her small mahogany table.

Y/N waited for Inej to take a bite out of the coffee tiramisu, after the Suli girl let a soft hum of appreciation, Y/N smiled and questioned: "I hope I'm not being too invasive, but how did you manage to climb all the way to my window? There are no nooks where you could have possibly held onto, you must have an incredible balance to perform such a feat."

And that's how Inej told her about her life as an acrobat, proudly sharing brief glimpses to her past, seeing no harm in the girl next to her. Y/N was more than happy when Inej started talking, she was glad the bronzed-skinned girl didn't treat her with timid whispers afraid of offending her royal title. It felt nice to have a normal conversation, being able to share honest opinions instead fake smiles and condescending words at galas, afraid that if the wrong statement slipped they'll become the next party gossip.

____________________

The morning after, Inej returned bearing Mr. Brekker's message agreeing to a nightly meeting where she'll be able to examine the corpse.

Saying that Y/N was thrilled, was an understatement, apart from a chance to put her brain to good use, it gave her the perfect opportunity to try a device she had specifically designed for creating an alibi while she was sneaking outside at unlikely hours.

Y/N hated piano. Don't get her wrong, it wasn't the instrument, it was the music, her music. Because for an unknown reason, her fingers seemed to have a mind of their own whenever she tried to. She admired the focus and dedication of musicians, she really did, but her mind easily got distracted thinking about her latest reading material instead of focusing on the notes. So, she had created a system capable of pushing the tiles as if her own fingers played the music. She knew it was wrong to fool her parents in such a way but it gave her a perfect cover to go in secret missions her parents would never approve of.

Proper ladies don't get excited over knowledge, much less probe in repulsive matters such as corpses. Look at you, Y/N, what would future suitors think if they discover you all cheerful over someone´s murder? The scandal! Zia Francesca's reprimanding voice resonated inside Y/N´s head. But she could care less about what the whole Ketterdam thought about her, science was her passion, and she would abandon it until the day she died.

Already outside, a navy blue scarf wrapped around her head to shield her delicate features against unwanted attention, Y/N waited for Inej at their chosen meeting point.

The sly girl slipped into view, with a grace greater than the one of a feline, leaving the shadows as if she and the night were one. With a brief nod, Y/N followed the girl into the awaiting hands of darkness. Leading her towards the Barrel, a place where monsters lurked behind every corner impatiently waiting to pounce any minute. Nonetheless, Y/N felt ecstatic, warm excitement pulsing through her veins, a river waiting in anticipation to break the thin modest facade she kept up to let her curiosity resurface in search of enigmas to solve.

When they arrived at a place named "The Crow Club", Inej went to get Kaz and some "others" and told her to wait. Y/N observed the lively atmosphere, seeing customers from different countries around the world when her eyes landed on a familiar head with wild red curls.

"Mr. Van Eck?" Y/N questioned in disbelief, the boy perked up at the sound of his last name, locking eyes with the hooded girl.

Never would she have imagined finding Wylan Van Eck down in the Barrel. She was shocked, Wylan supposedly should be in a music school outside of Ketterdam. Both belonging to affluent families, Y/N had met Wylan Van Eck at several parties. She hadn't gotten to know him very well, but she liked the quiet boy who shared the same look of misfortune Y/N had every time they were thrown into a classy social event. When his father had announced he was leaving to study abroad, Y/N was happy for him although she would miss being silently miserable together. But it appeared Wylan had been doing something far from studying, now sitting next to a tall Zemeni boy with his arm slung around his shoulder.

"Marchioness Y/N, I never imagined...W-What brings you here?" replied round-eyed Wylan, confusion, and astonishment written all over his features.

But before Y/N could respond, steps and the tapping of a cane interrupted their little meeting, Inej small silhouette trailing behind Mr. Brekker.

"So, you know Wylan?" he interrogated in that characteristic rasp, coffee eyes scrutinizing Y/N's form.

"Yes, Mr. Van Eck used to come to our social gatherings."

Wylan just nodded shyly while his long-limbed companion kept drowning shot like they were water.

Dirtyhands humphed in acknowledgment "Nice, know that we are all together let's go to...Jesper, I don't pay you to drink the bar dry. Get your ass down here and let's get moving so our dear inventor can examine the body, shall we?

"Wait, she is the contact you talked about?" the Zemeni, Jesper, questioned. Eyes going from Kaz Brekker to Y/N, as if this was some kind of joke.

"Wylan called her Marchioness? You asked for a royal's help?" Jesper asked, an incredulous mocking smile on his face. "Who are you and what have you done with Kaz?"

Mr. Brekker scowled at him and without another word turned around not even waiting for them to follow.

"Well, nice to meet you, my lady. The name's Jesper Fahey," he said, bowing down and kissing her hand, sending her a mischievous wink.

"Very nice to make your acquaintance, Mr. Fahey. And please, there's no need for formalities, just call me Y/N." she comforted, as they finally reached the others. Glancing at the rest while finishing her last statement, prompting the rest to call her by her first name.

________

Kaz

Y/N radiated waves of elation, her whole face lighting up at the thought of an adventure, a star amid the tumultuous dark waters of Ketterdam helping him find his way to the shore.

Kaz wore an amused expression at Y/N's amused gaze roaming the dirty streets of the Barrel, a new unknown world full of carnage and sins. She isn't fit for the Barrel thought Kaz, her eyes dancing in amusement at every little detail that caught her interest despite her efforts to put on a serious face and regal posture. She probably saw wonderous adventures while Kaz saw the Barrel for what it really was: a ravenous, savage beast waiting to swallow the weakest whole and drain the lives of the ones who survived its ghastly bites. And somehow the concept that she didn't belong in this world, his world, made Kaz's heart wrenched a little.

During their walk, Kaz shared the details about the latest killer on the loose and his dead informants, all the while, Y/N remained quiet, evaluating every one of his words.

When they arrived at an abandoned building, a single man was stationed outside, leaning on the tainted wall with a tired look in his eyes. Kaz nodded at the guard who gave him a set of keys and trotted out of sight. Kaz guided them inside, careful no prying eyes had followed them. Kaz turned on the lights, briefly disconcerting his companions, and pointed to a table with a big bulk covered by a dirty cloth.

"As you requested, the unfortunate victim" announced Kaz as Y/N placed a small suitcase she'd brought with her forensic equipment and tenderly pried the cloth covering the thing that once had been alive.

Y/N didn't bat an eyelash when she saw the corpse's face, not even when Jesper started gagging or when Inej turned around and started quietly mumbling prayers to her saints. Kaz focused on her face, the calm inquisitive look of a scientist, he had expected a gasp at least. Kaz was impressed by her cool analytical demeanor when a simple glimpse of the man was enough to send Kaz back to the ocean, rotting flesh beneath his fingertips. Kaz shuddered at the thought, forcing down the vomit rising in his throat.

"If you need an assistant, Jesper is willing to help" Kaz stated, stabilizing his voice so it wouldn't show his true feelings.

"What?! Me? Umm..no...I...Helping isn't a Jesper talent." Mr. Fahey said, a fearful look in his eyes, face white as a sheet. Kaz hoped he didn't look as terrified as him.

Y/N stopped her scan, looked up at the two boys, and with a small smile spoke: "I appreciate it, but there's no need. I'm certain I can handle it on my own."

Quickly discarding her coat and scarf, pushing back the sleeves of her rouge-colored blouse, and pulling long laboratory gloves over her hands along with a white apron over her head, she set up to work.

Kaz stared at her features, as she transformed into an eager forensic, light illuminating her face, falling in the right places giving her an otherwordly glow. Rebellious strands of hair framing her forehead, a pink hue staining her cheeks indicating her joyous state. The sight before him would have put any masterpiece to shame, Kaz wondered how she could stare at a corpse and find glee in such a morbid image. But Kaz liked it, the brilliant gleam her eyes portrayed, her childish joy at the promise of adventure.

The spell was broken when she started pulling out scalpels, syringes, and other items Dirtyhands couldn't bother to learn the name of. Pulling the flesh taught beneath her fingers, Y/N made a Y incision, skin splaying open.

Cold lifeless hands gripped Kaz's throat. his brother's icy whispers brushing his skin. He turned his head away and as if perceiving his discomfort, Y/N's bewitching doe eyes stared back at him.

"You can wait outside if you prefer to, I'll notify you when I'm done." her gentle voice reached and Kaz couldn't have been more grateful.

With a sharp shake of his head, Kaz limped towards the exit, Jesper, and Inej quickly following his movements.

--------

After Y/N finished, she eagerly started explaining her findings, a prideful gleam emanating from her.

"Well, Mr. Brekker I must admit this case is a peculiar one. The simplest ones always prove to be the most challenging."

"Here I thought that after years of fancy tea reunions you'd know the meaning of a vast number of words. I'll be sure to buy you a thesaurus." mocked Kaz, a wolfish smirk creeping onto his face.

The inventor frowned at his comment, racing her chin higher, and started her rant, thoughts racing to prove her point.

"Oh no, Mr. Brekker do not confuse simple and easy. Simple is straightforward, plain facts to the observer. Ordinary details are hard to pinpoint, effortlessly found everywhere, which makes it harder to find unique characteristics that could serve as means of identification since their nature is so elementary." Y/N spoke swiftly, pacing around the room, eyes never faltering from Kaz's.

"And that's exactly what happened in this case. As I had mentioned, my extraction wasn't entirely successful, for an essential reactant was missing. However, it wasn't the only reason why I insisted on examining the body, no, a very simple and ordinary substance appeared when I separated the poison: Helianthus annuus or more commonly known as sunflowers." Y/N paused glancing at their surprised faces, clearly pleased with their reactions, she continued, the corners of her lips tugging upwards.

"You can imagine my surprise when I found sunflower pollen as the main component of the poisonous agent. I ran several more tests and the result remains the same, our killer is using these lovely flowers as a weapon. Now, back to the catalyst, the easy part of the equation. This component isn't as fastidious as the previous one, why, you may ask. Well, its vast majority consists of average materials but a small percentage of it contains alloys that are only produced in Ketterdam, that combined with the peculiar way they were fused, suggests a Grisha alkemi made this solution." Y/N concluded, grabbing a piece of paper and hastily writing before she handed it to Kaz.

"There are no signs of struggle, meaning either they knew the attacker or they were taken by surprise. A swift prick to the femoral artery, a clear pathway for the poison to reach the bloodstream, infecting the body within seconds."

"It shouldn't be very hard to find the alkemi. They aren't very popular and most of them are indentured. Here is the list of all the reactants, the specifics, and where I believe you might find them. " finished the girl, looking at the trio expectantly.

"If you don't mind, I have taken a sample to examine more carefully at my house. I'll try to find any details I might have overlooked."

Briskly reading the list, Kaz frowned and then pocketed the small scrap of paper. "First thing tomorrow morning, ask around for an alkemi who might have bought these materials. "

Kaz turned to look at his fellow crows, content with their nods of approval, grabbed his cane, and sauntered towards the door. Her chemistry knowledge was astounding, a marvelous domain of anatomy, and an even more gifted engineer from what he had heard. Hers was an indeed beautiful mind, not that he would ever tell her.

"Mr. Brekker?" her light voice shattered through the gloomy night. Kaz craned his neck, gaping back at her in question.

"Is there perhaps a place where I might be able to tidy myself up?" Y/N questioned, Kaz finally looking at her messy red-stained apron and her exposed arms displaying strokes of red all over them.

Kaz hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should bring the girl back to their home. "You can use the restroom back at the Slat." The girl had risked her reputation sneaking out on ill-advised affairs to help them, it was the least he could do.

"Thank you" Y/N replied as she carefully peeled her apron, attentive at not brushing her arms against her blouse.

___________

Once she had freshened up, Y/N stumbled upon the young Van Eck talking with a couple. The green-eyed girl was about Y/N's age, a generously carved complexion, holding the hand of a tall Fjerdan.

Y/N inclined her head as a form of salute, "I never pegged you for the rebellious type, Mr. Van Eck. I never thought you hated music lessons that much to run away." she told him in a joking tone.

"And I never thought you were the type to sneak out at ungodly hours just to play detective. " Wylan replied, a grin beginning to form on his face.

"Well, I suppose everyone has secrets."

"You must be Y/N, Inej told me you were the help Kaz so desperetly needed. I'm Nina, he's Matthias and well you already know Wylan."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Inej had briefly mentioned them, she knew now that Nina loved food, maybe next time she'll bring those exquisite truffles she had so eagerly talked about. If there is a next time Y/N reminded herself, she desperately hoped so, but now that her work was done she wasn't so sure Kaz Brekker would ever seek her again.

"Well, you have saved me the introductions." Kaz sarcastically glowered at the green-eyed girl, Nina kept talking as if she hadn't heard him.

It was one thing for Kaz to admire her intelligence, it did not mean he trusted her, though. Pieces were still missing to the intricate puzzle she was and until that changed Kaz did not like the way she rapidly befriended his crows, her intentions were still blurry to Kaz, and even though he would never admit it he cared deeply about their well-being.

"You should stay a little longer, we could go for waffles as a way of thank you." prompted Nina.

"Your offer is very tempting, but I'm afraid I'll have to pass. I should be returning home." Y/N declined, grinning at Nina, blissful someone had invited her for waffles.

Kaz stared at her and wondered how many times someone had done something similar, not to thank her but rather to use her, so that such a simple gesture put her in a joyful state.

"Scared of what your parents may do if they found out the truth?" Kaz quipped once his crows had left the two of them alone. A teasing tone masking true concern.

"Terrified. Someone may notice I've been playing the same four songs for the last couple of hours, always missing the same notes every time and they might get ideas of checking up on me," she confessed, mischief coating her features.

"Good night, Mr. Brekker. I'm happy I could be of assistance. Please, let me know if you find your killer or if my experience is needed again."

Kaz just bowed, signaling for his Wraith to get Y/N back to her manor in one piece.

Both girls disappeared into the night, leaving Kaz pondering what the hell she had meant with playing the piano.

___________

Y/N

Almost two weeks had passed, no signs of Kaz and no visits from the Wraith, well not that she was aware of. Y/N caught herself glaring at no point in particular, she readjusted her expression and plastered a well-practiced look of keen interest, trying to focus on Lady Stathos' rant about the attractiveness of the Viscount of Chagny.

Y/N politely excused herself, with no intention of making a fool of herself if Lady Stathos posed a question related to her gossip.

Too busy drowning in her own sorrow, knowing that Kaz had probably captured the culprit and was happily celebrating his success and no longer needing Y/N's help, that she stumbled forward, barely catching herself when someone bumped her from behind.

When Y/N turned back around, searching for that someone, she was met with a sight she had only seen once in an abandoned warehouse late at night. One that made her mind scream: Helianthus annuus.

Mercher Dupont's eyes were deranged, veins gruesomely popping and blood spilling from his lips, before toppling in the middle of the dance floor, taking his final breath.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker imagine #shadow and bone #imagine #six of crows

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

Thank you very much for breaking my heart. God, your writing is incredible!

third day

nikolai lantsov x reader - third day

warnings: survival stuff, gore, brief moments that allude to main character death, mentions of death

word count: 7.3k

A/N: okay y’all hold on because this is a RIDE - every scene I switch to a different span of time (so stay on your toes) to have the full experience, listen to: all the pretty girls, i want more, and i can’t go on without you by KALEO

“It is a beauty,” Y/N marveled, trailing her fingers over the intricately carved railing of the sailing boat. The tips of her fingers danced over the carved waves, the little lines meant to symbolize sea birds. “This is yours right?”

Nikolai trailed two steps behind her, a wide grin on his face as she slowly examined the beauty of the boat. “I obtained it legally, I promise you. And it’s ours.”

“Ours?”

At his simple nod, Y/N turned on her heel, a blazing smile present on her face as she threw herself into his broad chest, arms snaking up to hang around his neck. Nikolai wrapped her in his arms, stumbling back a few steps from her impact.

“You spoil me,” she cooed, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before staring out at the seas that stretched beyond the harbor their boat bobbed in, tethered to a dock.

“You deserve every bit and more. All the jewels and fine things in the world, Ravka and beyond.”

Days later, Nikolai found himself behind the helm of their little ship, steering out into the open seas. Away from Ravka, from the responsibilities weighing upon their shoulders, and hushed whispers spoken behind their backs. Y/N stood at the front of the ship, leaning over the railing to watch dolphins dance below, darting in and out of the cutting waves. She looked like the figurehead of a ship, beautiful and at one with the charging seas, face turned in the direction of blistering winds. His own personal good luck charm for a safe journey.

The seas had always been a second home for Nikolai, an escape into a wondrous land filled with dangers, risks, rewards. A place where he wasn’t a Prince bestowed with honors. He was himself, simply Nikolai, an admittedly cocky guy who also happened to be a bit too invested in the idea of proving himself worthy. Now it felt like destiny to be back on the waters, with the person he loved more than anything.

“Where are we sailing?” He called out, glancing down at the golden compass glistening in his hand.

“I don’t care!” Y/N yelled back, her voice blending with the sharp winds whipping the sails. “As long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy!”

So Nikolai didn’t set a course, sailing in whatever direction his heart pulled, all while listening to Y/N’s joyous laughs. Her eyes were always trained on the sky or the seas, enthusiastically announcing every animal she saw.

Their sunlight hours were spent cutting through the waves, boat softly bobbing as they made their way in no particular direction. Y/N, having never been on the sea, quickly picked her legs, helping adjust rigging and even trying her hand at steering.

“How am I doing?” She’d yell, yanking on a thick twine rope, sending their sail swinging wildly to the left.

“Fantastic! Just don’t decapitate me!”

Their evenings were spent laying upon the deck, cushioned by furs and pillows propped underneath them. Y/N lay on her back, hair in tendrils behind her, staring up at the night sky.

“I can see why you love this,” she admitted one evening, twirling her finger in the air as though she were connecting the stars above with imaginary lines.

Nikolai raised himself up onto one elbow, gazing down at her with nothing but affection. “I love it more when you’re here with me. It’s peaceful, knowing it’s just you and me out in the wild.”

Y/N’s gaze flickered towards him, a soft smile on her face before gazing at the sunset barely visible in the sky, stars now making their appearance for the night. “It’s like living in a painting,” she awed. “All those brushstrokes, layers of oranges and reds, like embers of a fire in the sky.”

“I’d like to bottle it,” Nikolai sighed, flopping down onto his back by her side.

“No! That’d ruin it!” She softly slapped his chest, shoving him just a tad bit. “The beauty of nature is that it’s fleeting, it’s here then there. Leaving then going. It’s what makes it wild, untouched.”

“When did you become quite the poet?”

“I’m just feeling… inspired, that’s all.”

Underneath them, the boat rocked serenely, lulling the couple towards a deep peaceful sleep. Staring out at the waves, Nikolai pondered their uncertain future, imagining a vast map of the True Sea in his mind, estimating their location.

“Where should we go next?” He questioned, rolling his head to the side until he was gazing at her.

Y/N was masked in that orange glow, the warm scarlet reds and peach tones of the sky illuminating her skin. Tilting her head to the side, she matched his gaze with those eyes he’d willingly lose himself in.

“I’ve heard Wandering Isle is gorgeous, lush green rolling hills and sharp cliffs,” he continued.

Y/N sat up stiffly, staring at him as though he’d proposed the most preposterous of ideas. “Nik- we can’t… not this time of the year. The seas, they’re rough.”

Gently lacing his fingers through hers, he raised her hand to his mouth, pressing featherlight kisses over each knuckle.

“It is nothing we cannot handle my dear.”

Nikolai scrambled over the surface of the boat, hands fumbling for a grip on the splintered railing with his feet sliding out from under him. His head throbbed, bleeding from the temple and mind filled with fog, but he knew the worst had happened during the night.

The ship looked like it had been thrown to and fro like an old rag doll, sending their possessions scattering and wood snapping. The railing Y/N had once admired was now matchsticks, innumerous snapped pieces littering the deck. Nikolai grasped those that remained, using them to right himself on the deck which tilted precariously towards the churning sea.

Their mast, once grand and mighty, was split in half like a meager twig. That which was left standing was jagged and splintered, spiny spires pointing towards the heavens. The half which carried their glorious sail fell to the sea, but not before allowing the sail to catch, tipping the boat so severely that the railing opposite Nikolai was only a few feet above the lapping waves. His eyes surveyed the deck, searching amongst the rubble and splintered wood for any sign: a hand, a bang, a shout. Any sign that she was still there.

“Y/N!” He screamed until his throat felt raw, over and over again like a squawking bird, pausing in between each to wait for a response. A response that never came.

Gasping for air, grasping for anything to ground himself, tears sprouted in Nikolai’s eyes, threatening to fall. But his brain pushed him into action, telling him he needed to move, needed to find a way to survive. Letting go of the rail, he slid down the deck until he reached the opposite railing. Each of his actions felt slow, bogged down from the state of overwhelming grief and disbelief.

Tugging at the caught sail, he worked to dislodge the weight dragging the boat down towards the murky depths. His arms burned as he tugged, muscles contracting. Digging his fingers into the fabric, he felt as though they might snap in their beds. It was only when the sail gave in, slipping into the depths of the ocean, that Nikolai let out a trembling sob. The boat bobbed, righting itself until the deck was level and Nikolai collapsed onto his back, staring up at the black clouds circling overhead. It felt like a dream - some horrible nightmare he couldn’t wake from. Sobs wracked his body, chest dramatically rising and falling to draw in air.

His body was beaten and worn; a trail of blood trickling down his forehead from a deep gash, the skin of his arms had been scraped, leaving behind little windows to the raw flesh beneath, and fingertips filled with splinters. But most of all his heart ached, seizing with fear. A fear that Y/N was gone, sucked into the depths by that horrendous storm. For Nikolai, the world was giving out beneath him, opening a vicious cave of despair and doom. Losing her felt like his heart had broken into a million shards, a good number of them sinking to the ocean floor along with his love.

And yet, she still felt so tangible, that if he squeezed his eyes shut and wished hard enough, she’d be lying next to him again. One hand softly running through the waves of his golden blonde hair as she droned on about the beautiful blues of the sky. She’d rest her head on his chest, moving along with his inhales and exhales as she rambled, lost in her own world of beauty and art. Nikolai would just stare down at her, intensely listening to each word even if he didn’t always follow her train of thought.

“I love you,” he’d whisper, voice barely audible over the sound of waves hitting wood.

And she’d turn her head to look up at him. Pressing a small kiss to the corner of his lips, she’d whisper back, “I love you too.”

Opening his eyes, he glanced at the empty spot next to him, just waterlogged decking lying beside. Y/N nowhere in sight. Seagulls swooped overhead, surveying the wreckage and chirping with scorn, taunting the decision he’d made.

Another raw scream echoed in the air as he kicked at the boards beneath him, running both hands through his hair and pulling at the roots. He wanted to scream until his lungs gave way, punch something until his knuckles bled. But he just laid there, trying to keep himself above the surface as waves of grief washed over him.

“Y/N!”

“I’m right here, silly.”

Nikolai glanced up from the map he was notating to gaze at Y/N. She stood in the doorway to the captain’s cabin, one arm propped up as she leaned against the woodwork, sunlight poured in around her like a type of halo.

“You should come when called,” he teasingly scolded, shaking a scornful finger at her.

“I am not one of your dogs,” she laughed, crossing the room and taking a seat in his lap, laying one arm lovingly around his neck.

Nikolai grinned like a lovesick fool, his gaze roaming her face from those gorgeous eyes to kissable lips. Each time he looked at her, he tried to devote as much of her to memory as possible. Analyzing each little thing, notating each flaw and perfection. By now, when he closed his eyes he could envision her in all her glory, as if she was truly there right before him.

“Which I love oh so much. But I do love you more. You are the moon to my ever so glorious sun, the force that drives the beautifully violent crashing waves.”

“You are becoming better with your words.”

“Oh really? Am I wooing you?” Nikolai whispered teasingly, wrapping his arms around her middle and pressing a gentle kiss to the side of her face.

“More like seducing.”

Nikolai tutted, a sarcastic grin splayed upon his face. “Now, now. Don’t tell the pesky newspaper men that back in Os Alta. Next thing we know there will be flyers proclaiming the hotheaded Prince Nikolai entrapped a darling young woman into a life with him on the seas.”

“Very charming, Nik.”

Y/N’s gaze wandered down to the old map, yellowing with fraying edges, as her fingers danced along the hair at the nape of his neck. Her other hand traced over the lines Nikolai had mapped out, twisting and turning between illustrations of rocky islands surrounded by sea monsters bursting from the depths, bearing their gleaming teeth.

“You’re really going through with the Wandering Isle thing?”

“When have I ever been one to back down from a challenge?”

Y/N’s face suddenly grew morose, the smile Nikolai loved so much disappearing behind a cloud of concern. Carefully, she laid her hand upon Nikolai’s cheek, subconsciously stroking the soft pale skin. “Promise me something,” she whispered.

“Anything, literally. Ask and it is yours.”

“Promise me we’ll be safe.”

Nikolai shifted under her weight, leaning back in his chair as he stared at those eyes, begging him for some form of certainty. “Y/N…”

“No Nik, I cannot lose you, not when I’ve just got you. Promise me this trip isn’t stupid and reckless, that you’ve made a good plan - a safe one. Promise me I won’t lose you.”

Y/N’s voice wavered as she clung to him, the thin fabric of his shirt crinkling in her grasp. Her voice was compelling, singing like a Siren and luring him towards promising a false sense of security.

“I promise, truly. Until the end of my days, I’ll be by your side. Not even a catastrophe could pry you from my grasp,” he devoted, all the while his stomach flipped with nausea.

The thing was, the trip wasn’t safe. It was what he liked about sailing, that uncertainty - leaving your fate to the whims of water and air. A rush of burning adrenaline surged through his veins when sea foam sprayed in his face, getting caught in his hair, and when the gusts blew so viciously, he had to cling to the boat for dear life. But he didn’t tell her that, simply sticking to his false promises, ones of safety.

A wide grin broke out across Y/N’s face and she brushed stray strands of hair from his forehead, “Then let’s do this.”

“I fucking adore you,” Nikolai murmured while pulling her closer, pressing sloppy kisses all over the side of her face. “Travel with me - forever.”

“Is that a question or a command, your highness?”

“Y/N c’mon, think. We could travel the world, the True Sea is our oyster. Novyi Zem, sail all around Kerch, gamble in Ketterdam. And we can just be us, never go back to that damn palace, never have to worry about us not being able to marry.”

Y/N leaned away from him slightly, just enough to where he was forced to stop gracing her skin with kisses. Her eyebrows were furrowed together and she stared at him in shock, breath catching in her chest.

“You want to… marry me?”

Nikolai sarcastically rolled his eyes, tilting his head back ever so dramatically. “I thought it was obvious.”

“No it wasn’t!” Y/N exclaimed, playfully slapping his shoulder.

“Then let’s make this official, eh?”

Pushing her off his lap, he fell from his chair onto one knee on the ground. Digging through his pocket, he retrieved a little silver ring. He hadn’t chosen anything showy, just a simple band. It was to characterize their love, outright pure affection. No glitz or glamor, a far cry from the life of royals. When alone with her, there were no distractions in the world for Nikolai, nothing could turn his head from her.

As he held it out in front of him, Y/N slapped both hands over her mouth, staring as shock flooded through her body in glorious waves.

“Marry me?”

“Yes!” Nikolai cheered, throwing both arms into the air and tipping his head back, letting his yell mingle with the blistering winds.

Using extra sail cloth, he created a small sail, enough to get the boat moving rather than drifting, by tying it along the half mast and the other corner to what was left of the rail. It wasn’t anything spectacular, flapping feebly in the wind, barely catching the sharp gusts. But it was something - more than nothing.

It was enough progress to strike a little hope into Nikolai’s aching heart. He was exhausted from sitting around doing nothing, pitying his situation as his boat drifted in whatever direction it pleased. The scorching sun roasted his skin until it was beet red, boiled his insides, but all the while he was hopeful.

Hopeful that Y/N was out there somewhere, clinging to the debris floating around the ship as far as the eye could see. Binoculars became an extension of his face, always sitting on his nose to allow his eyes to examine the crashing waves. Every time something bobbed into view he leapt to his feet, ready to dive into the raging waters at a moment's notice. But it was always just a rotting board, a bit of the old sail surfacing. Never her.

Three days passed, the sun and moon cycling in the sky, before Nikolai noticed something. A faint form slumped over one of their provision barrels bobbed in the distance, rocking with the waves. There was no mistaking it, it was her.

“Y/N!” Nikolai screamed, waving his arms wildly in the air.

Fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, he pulled it over his head, tossed it aside, and dove into the freezing waters. Pushing his head above the surface, every inch of his body chilled, ice running through his veins. But he pushed forward, cutting through the waves in a bid to reach Y/N.

It felt like years until he was able to grip the edge of that barrel, finding a handhold on the metal rim. She looked dead, skin burnt to a crisp, but her chest was softly rising, taking in shallow inhales.

Nikolai paused for a moment, simply treading water to keep himself above the waves as he watched her. She was here, alive. Just within an arm's reach.

“Oh, darling,” he whispered, gripping onto her upper arms and pulling her off the barrel. Looping his arms under hers, he kept her barely conscious form above the waves as he kicked back towards the boat.

“Stay with me, I’ve got you,” he repeated throughout their journey, pausing in between words in a desperate attempt to catch his breath and preserve his energy.

Battling against the waves, he managed to grab hold of the woven ladder, pouring all of his strength into pulling her body up behind his. Together they collapsed onto the burning hot deck, heart pounding in his chest, desperate to renew his strength.

Rolling onto his side, Nikolai allowed his hands to roam over her body, over her face, shoulders, arms. There were years worth of comfort in that touch, enough to calm his heart and ease his pain. Letting out a deep sigh, he pushed himself into sitting up, carefully appraising the girl.

She groaned softly, barely awake. A deep gash arched over her eyebrow, dark scarlet with dried blood. Allowing his hands to roam down to her bare legs, he dug his fingers into the flesh on her mottled black and blue right leg. His fingers followed the lines of tight muscle, faintly feeling hints of tendon and bone beneath. When he reached her knee, there was something clearly wrong.

The once solid bone now felt like a million little puzzle pieces, fragments scattered underneath the skin. Testing the water, Nikolai gently pressed his thumb to the broken kneecap. Y/N let out a shrill haunting scream, the type heard only in the most horrid of nightmares. It carried on the wind, twisting and turning around Nikolai until he was shrouded in its horror.

“Stop, stop!” She begged, tears leaking down her sunburnt cheeks, leaving shining trails behind.

“It’s shattered,” he whispered, running his hand over the wound slightly lower, a bright red gaping cut over her shin.

The skin was frayed, flesh amalgamating with bacteria. Hot to the touch, it was clearly irritated by the sting of saltwater. Small pockets of puss had begun to form around the edges, a blaring siren announcing the presence of an infection.

“How bad is it?” Y/N mumbled, tripping over her own words as she struggled to sit up.

“No, do not look. Tilt your head back for me, love,” Nikolai encouraged, softly gripping her chin with one hand and tilting it up towards the heavens. “What do you see in the sky?”

“Clouds.”

“Look further,” he prompted while pulling a rusted first aid kit to his side.

“I see a bear in the clouds.”

“And what is the bear doing?”

Bracing himself for an outpouring of pain, he tensed his shoulders and pushed the frayed flesh on her leg back together. Flinching at the sight, he drew in a deep breath. There was a pulsing need deep within, spreading through his body. A need to be strong enough to save the both of them.

“Roaring, bearing its teeth.”

As Y/N spoke, he poured fresh water over the wound, rubbing one finger around to loosen the build up of grime.

“At what?”

“Intruders,” she gasped, mouth gaping like a fish as she gasped for air in a bid to tide the excruciating pain. Her hands flailed trying to find a grip and soon dug her nails into the wooden deck.

“And who are they?”

“Fjerdans probably. They likely live in bear caves, don't they, Nik?”

Nikolai couldn’t help but smile, a soft laugh escaping from his mouth, “I’m sure they do, darling.”

Ripping his shirt into pieces, he gently laid them over the wound to provide a sort of covering. Satisfied with his handiwork, he directed his gaze and hand back to her face, gently running his thumb over the scorched skin.

“I told you nothing could separate us. I can’t go on without you.”

“Not even a catastrophe,” she murmured, repeating his words spoken days ago.

“No force could come between us,” he responded, taking her hand in his. “I’ll be with you, now and always.”

“Will you love me forever?”

“How could I ever stop loving you?” Nikolai yelled over the pour of the rain, droplets streaming down his face and ricocheting off the deck.

Peeking out from behind the captain’s cabin’s door, shrouded in the warmth and comfort of the dry room, Y/N yelled back, managing to overpower the roar of rain. “Well you clearly don’t love me right now!”

“Because of this? What’s wrong with dancing in the rain?”

A flair for the theatrics ever present in the man, he raised his hands in the air and spun, dancing among the raindrops. Y/N shook her head, humored yet irritated.

“I’ll be drenched!”

“That’s the fun of it, love!”

Running forward, he grabbed her wrist and yanked her out into the rain pouring from above. Hysterically laughing, he pulled her along as he spun in circles, slipping and sliding over the slick deck.

Shaking her head, Y/N laughed the whole way, her voice ringing out over the downpour. “Nik, stop!”

Coming to a stop, he held her hand in one of his and placed the other on her hip, gently squeezing. “Dance with me.”

Y/N drew in a deep breath, ready to refuse, but ultimately gave in, swayed by the impressively convincing puppy eyes Nikolai was able to pull. “Okay.”

Placing her hand on his shoulder, Nikolai began pulling her along in an upbeat waltz, skipping and trotting over the wooden planks with his bare feet. Their smiles mirrored one another, silently sharing in the joy that ran through their bodies.

The rain shower wasn’t one of dark, storm filled clouds. It was one of those ethereal ones - when the clouds on a beautiful sunny day just gave way, sending pellets of water falling to the earth’s surface. There was a sort of awe inspiring beauty seeing sunlight glint off the rippling surface of the ocean as droplets broke through the waves.

But Nikolai’s focus was on Y/N, how the rain formed little rivers falling down her face, following the trails other droplets had carved. She looked wild, free, her head tilted back as they went through the motions of their dance, twirling underneath the downpour from above.

Quick on his feet like a fox, he sped and slowed to the beat of music playing within his own mind. Not once did he ever comment on how she stumbled along, sometimes stepping on his feet. He loved that about her, the little things that made her imperfect to the world but glorious in his eyes.

Coming to a slow pace, he just pivoted on the spot, stepping to the rhythm he now began to hum aloud. Y/N laid her head on his shoulder, gently nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck as her other hand dropped from his grasp and snaked up to wrap around his neck.

“Sing for me,” she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss just beneath his ear.

Nikolai shook his head no, but she continued to beg, her voice so soft and entrancing, pulling him once again towards a state of obeying her requests.

“You have the most beautiful voice, please.”

Pausing for a second, he allowed himself to soak in those words. There was something about how she praised him that made his heart soar like an eagle, beating its wings faster than it should. How could I ever say no?

Leaning his head against hers, he continued to hum softly as his hands roamed up her back, underneath her shirt. There was something beautiful in the way electricity crackled in his veins when his skin touched hers. Just for those few seconds, nothing else mattered in the world. It was just him and her, dancing around in the downpour like fools high on love.

“All the pretty girls like Nikolai. Oh, he doesn’t really share,” he sang softly, his voice carrying with the winds gliding around them.

“You pompous little ass!”

“I know you love it,” he whispered, pressing little kisses across her temple between each word. “I do believe you once said you loved my arrogance, how I always know exactly what I want.”

Y/N hummed softly, leaning into his roaming kisses with her eyes closed.

“And I want you my dear. I’m not planning on sharing you anytime soon.”

“Well aren’t you quite the casanova?” Y/N leaned away, capturing his face between her hands as she marveled at him, a teasing grin playing upon her lips.

“Only for you,” he mumbled, pulling her towards him once again and planting a kiss upon her lips, pouring himself into that electrifying feeling. She had bewitched him: mind, body, and soul.

As the rain began to slow, now sprinkling from the sky, Nikolai held one of her hands and spun her in little circles. She rotated on the spot like a graceful ballerina, a thing of beauty and wonder.

Taking back up their little waltz, spinning around wildly, the drying deck providing some traction for their bare feet.

Tipping her head back, staring up at the sky which now began to form a rainbow, Y/N spoke, “I wonder where we will be weeks from now.”

Nikolai thought about it too for a moment. The idea of reclining on those lush hills, staring down at the waves crashing against the rocks below. Wind would be softly blowing the tall grasses, little clumps of wildflowers dancing about. It’d be their own little paradise, a slice of freedom to hold in their hands.

“Picnicking along the cliffs I suppose, watching the wild ponies graze on beach grass.”

“I have no fucking clue where we are!”

Nikolai yelled in despair, running his hands through his sun bleached hair in desperation. He turned in circles on the deck of the bobbing ship, staring out at the waves beyond that felt never ending, stretching straight to the ends of the world.

“Nik, take a breath,” Y/N spoke, laying in a bed of furs underneath their sail, the only spot providing a bit of comfort from the harsh, blaring sun scorching their skin. She held one dirty hand to her face, skin peeling off in flakes, to shield her eyes.

Drawing in a ragged breath, Nikolai rubbed at his eyes, feeling as though his mind were foggy and consumed by dizziness. “I… I swore- swore I saw land.”

“Nik-”

“I fucking saw it,” he screeched, pointing a trembling finger to the west, waves tumbling as far as the eye could see. “Green, trees! Land, safety!”

Y/N stared at him with nothing but pity, “You’re hallucinating.”

“No I’m not.”

“It’s natural, love. We’re dehydrated, sleep deprived, boiling alive under this awful sun. On the third day, hallucations set in.”

Her voice of reason always lurked in the back of his mind, reminding him of what to do - how to survive while stranded on the seas. But it felt best to hear her voice aloud, to see her resting just a few feet away. Y/N was a beacon of comfort, somehow helping to maintain his sanity as they floated aimlessly, no help in sight.

Nikolai had tried his hardest to steer their ship west towards the Wandering Isle using his meager makeshift sail. But the boat had an evil mind of its own, drifting wherever it pleased day to day. One day they were heading north, pushed along by the current and the next they were heading east, shoved by the winds.

“You need to eat.”

Nodding, numbly following Y/N’s commands like a clueless dog, he crossed the ship and sat on the deck, folding his legs underneath himself. Their supplies were running low, practically disappearing before his eyes and they desperately consumed their fresh rations in an attempt to preserve their strength. So Nikolai had tried his hand at fishing, casting long lines of rope into the ocean in hopes something would take the bite.

The bounty he’d reeled in now sat on the deck, silver scales glistening in the sunlight that shone down on the dead fish. Their eyes were wide, mouths gaping - lifeless. He saw a bit of himself in those eyes staring into nothingness. Without Y/N’s strength that urged him to battle off the elements so determined to wipe them off the face of the earth, he’d feel like an empty shell of flesh, ravaged by the evils of the world.

Nikolai’s stomach churned at the thought of consuming raw fish, but there was no possibility of a fire, any way to cook. Gripping one by the tail fin, he flopped it into a spot in front of him and taking a knife, slid it underneath the slimy skin. It was difficult and tedious work, removing the scales and skin, but the result was worth it. Annoyed with his knife which slowly became more dull, he gripped the filet with his fingers and tore it into bite sized pieces.

Crinkling his nose to avoid the sickening smell, he dropped a piece of the pink flesh into his mouth. Rolling it around on his tongue, he checked for any needle-like bones and once assured, bit down. A fishy taste overtook his senses, pairing with the putrid smell from the carcass sitting out too long in the sun.

But it was food, fuel to keep himself going. Scrambling to his feet, he cupped several chunks in his hand as he crossed the boat to where Y/N laid stationary. Falling to his knees beside her, he held out the food.

“You need to eat too, dove.”

Gently one of her burnt hands covered his, pushing the food back.

“No, you eat it. I’m dead weight - just sitting here without providing anything. You’re steering the boat, fishing, staying up all night. You know I don’t need it like you do.”

“Y/N…,” Nikolai began to protest but she stubbornly shook her head no.

He paused for a moment, allowing his gaze to run over her body and hover over her leg. The makeshift bandages wrapping the gnarly wound were soaked through, bright reds and sickening yellows announcing where the infected wound lay beneath. He’d gone days without wearing a shirt, ripping all of his into strips to wrap her leg in. Now his skin was peeling over his shoulders, red and inflamed. But it was a small price to pay for her comfort, for a little tiny bit of safety he could provide.

Reaching up, he gripped her face in his hand, thumb resting on one side while his fingers laid on the other. Squeezing, he commanded sternly, a bit of that privateer persona making its appearance. “Open.”

Y/N tentatively listened, opening her mouth just wide enough for Nikolai to drop a piece of fish inside.

“Eat,” he commanded once again and let go once Y/N began to chew.

Nikolai fell onto his back by her side, watching the sail flap overhead as he popped another chunk into his own mouth. Closing his eyes, he tried to imagine they were on the cliffs of the Wandering Isle, resting in soft grass wet with dew as they ate berries. Anything sounded more appealing than the wretched fish.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out after a tense moment as his eyes followed the clouds trailing in the sky. “You wouldn’t be in this mess if not for me.”

Y/N’s hand fell upon his forehead, smoothing back the greasy hair that had begun to form tangles. “But then we wouldn’t have all those beautiful memories.”

“It’s my fault that you’re… you’re…”

Nikolai’s heart seized with pain, spasming in his chest. It all could have been so different. The feeling was unexplainable, just a deep heavy dread settling in his stomach, making him constantly queasy.

Y/N’s hand trailed down his face, whispering softly, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, darling. I’ve accepted our fate.”

“I will get us to safety, just trust me. I need time, time and energy.”

He didn’t even flinch at how desperate and deranged he sounded, searching for a bit of hope that was nowhere to be found. The world around them was filled with nothing but despair and loneliness. Nikolai was simply grasping for something that wasn’t there.

“Nik, we’re going to die out here.”

“You’re not supposed to say that.”

Her fingers danced across his forehead, fluttering along his hairline and over the cracked skin, “You know it’s the truth.”

“Just don’t leave me,” he begged, voice cracking with agony. “I can’t go on without you.”

His fingers wrapped around her hand splayed upon his forehead, squeezing to reassure himself that she was still there.

“Don’t let go!” Nikolai screamed as a wave crashed over the deck’s surface, sending the couple slamming into the deck’s surface.

Their hands were intertwined as their boat battled the vicious waves determined to pull the vessel beneath the surface. He’d been so sure when sailing towards the Isle, unafraid of the dangers lurking beneath the water. Now, staring over at Y/N, her eyes squeezed shut as water drenched her, he knew he’d made a horrible mistake.

Dark clouds twisted and twined overhead, pouring down rain and fueling vicious winds. The sea had suddenly come alive without a warning, as though there were a million monsters gripping the edges of the ship with their talons, digging in and rocking to and fro.

His hand squeezed hers, lacing their fingers together in a desperate bid to keep a hold of her. The thick downpour of rain, paired with waves crashing over the edges, threatening to fill their boat with water, caused the visibility to dip dangerously low. Nikolai could hardly make out the outline of the sail whipping violently overhead, being torn into shreds by the winds that bore their teeth.

Y/N’s cries of horror cut through the pounding of water as she clung to him. He pulled her into his side, hopelessly trying to keep his balance behind the helm as waters pummeled them.

“We’re going to die, Nik!”

“I won’t let that happen,” he yelled back, wrapping one arm around her middle to firmly keep her against his chest. “Just don’t let go of me.”

Her hands slid over his chest, grasping at the wet fabric for a hold as the boat rose in the air, then suddenly falling from under their feet. Nikolai clasped both of his hands over the handles of the wooden wheel, trying his hardest to battle off the waves.

The seconds passing felt like years as they seemingly made no progress, simply cutting through a patch of storm-fueled waves to enter another. It was an endless mind-boggling loop.

Y/N slapped harshly at Nikolai’s chest to grab his attention and then pointed at the mast which creaked ominously as the sail flapped in the air.

“It’s going to snap! We need to take down the sail!”

“We can’t. Not right now, just hang on.”

Nikolai’s grip on the wheel loosened as another ice cold wave crashed over their head, sending both into a fit of gasps. But Y/N slipped away from him, falling between his fingers like bits of sand, and stumbled across the deck.

“Where are you going?” Nikolai screamed over the roar of waves, tempted to follow behind her into the storm.

“To take down the sail, silly!”

Somehow, amidst the chaos, Y/N smiled, a bright bit of hope shining in the swirling darkness. As a form of one last goodbye, their gazes roamed over one another, committing everything to memory.

And just like that, she turned on her heel and melted into the impenetrable wall of mist and rain, becoming one with the ocean. Nikolai gasped with panic, leaning on the wheel like it was a buoy in the midst of the horrors.

He couldn’t lose her, not yet. He wanted more. More time, more tender moments of whispered I love you’s, more dances in the rain. But time didn’t stand still, instead it just kept trudging on despite Nikolai’s hopeful whims.

All he wanted to do was hold back the storm with a steady hand, hold her hand until the timing was right. Watch the waves settle peacefully until they softly lapped at the wooden boat. But that wasn’t an option. Time had run out, the clock chimed signaling their life of joy had come crashing down around them.

Nikolai stood behind the helm, clenching his hands until his knuckles turned a ghostly pale. Every bit of his body was screaming in rage, wanting more, needing her.

Don’t leave me wanting more.

Sitting at the front of the boat, arms wrapped around his knees tucked up to his chest, Nikolai numbly watched the waves pass by. The ocean felt so different than it did that night, hardly a fraction of the power that had practically crackled in the air.

Now, it was just the sea he had once known and loved. That comforting repetitiveness in the waves, sun glistenings off the crests. It was like a gentle caress, just barely gracing the ocean’s surface. There was no hint of the rage that stirred beneath, enough to wreck a person’s life, turn their whole world upside down.

Nikolai cast a glance over his shoulder to where Y/N laid in her bed still, leg in a constant state of never healing. A heavy blanket lay over her torso as chills set in, the infection wreaking havoc on her entire system. It was her favorite blanket, dark blue and woven. She’d always told him it reminded her of the night sky right after dusk, when the sun and moon both shared a bit of the sky.

But that blanket reminded him of that night, the dark blue depths that reflected straight into the dark sky. It was all one mess of black and blue, like the bruises that still scattered his body from roughing the waves.

In all honesty, Nikolai wasn’t sure how many days had passed from that night. Going off his gut, it felt like years, decades even. But his mind knew better, regardless of how fried it was from the scorching sun. Weeks had passed certainly, maybe a month? It was hard to tell with the torturous monotony. It was the same day after day - waves, wind, an empty sea.

He mentally degraded as fast as Y/N did physically. Every day he swore there were boats bobbing in the far distance. But with the next blink of an eye they were gone, vanishing into thin air. Nikolai found himself no longer starving, convinced he’d just finished a five course dinner; herb roasted quail, fried potatoes, a slice of vanilla cake.

So when a schooner came cutting across the waters, practically flying through the waves as it displayed the Ravkan flag, the light blue tones and double golden eagles, Nikolai didn’t blink an eye.

It’s not real, Nikolai reminded himself as he absentmindedly grazed his fingers over the splintered deck. None of this is real.

The boat slowed as it threw its anchor over the side, splashing into the ocean with a resounding thud.

“Nikolai?” One of the men questioned in a yell, calling over the winds harshly blowing, the word traveling along.

He didn’t raise his head in acknowledgement or even respond, just simply stared at those waves, coming and going. An endless loop. He was only pulled from his thoughts when a hand landed on his shoulder, making the burnt flesh beneath become inflamed with anger.

“Oh Saints, it is Nikolai!”

His head was jostled as the man patted the top of his head. “You okay?”

Nikolai barely raised his head, staring into the eyes of a sailor he’d previously worked with, side by side, battling the waves back in his days as a soldier. He responded plainly, voice hoarse, “No.”

Strong arms hauled his frail body up and off the deck, forcing Nikolai to stand unsteadily on his own two feet.

“You look awful.”

“You would be too if you’ve been out here for… Saints knows how long.”

“Well c’mon,” the man urged, helping Nikolai over to the edge of the boat.

Beneath him, his legs felt like jelly, hardly able to support his own weight. His mind was still shrouded in a fog, incapable of truly grasping what was happening. But as the other boat came into view and the sailor urged him across the plank laid between the two, Nikolai suddenly froze.

“Y/N, we need Y/N,” he mumbled almost incoherently, trying to head back to the shelter he’d built for her underneath the sail.

“Who are you talking about?”

“Her- right over here!”

Nikolai broke free of the man’s grasp and stumbled across the deck, eyes trained on the pile of blankets and pillows hidden underneath the safety of the sail. But as he rounded the corner, she wasn’t there. Just a pile of his shredded shirts and that blanket.

That dark blue wool, knitted in the most intricate of patterns, and once again Y/N’s voice rang in his head, “It’s like that moment when the sun and moon share the sky. That single color that’s a mix between the two, a perfect medium to the light and the dark. Right after the sun sets and the first thing before the stars come out.”

Leaning over, he picked up the blanket and held it to his chest, tilting his head down so he could bury his face within that smell. The smell of her - the faintest bit of lavender mixed in with the vanilla scent of the cookies she always loved. It was her, so purely and wholly Y/N.

It was the smell Nikolai had woken up to in the mornings, nose nuzzled in the crook of her neck as his arms encircled her frame, always pulling her just a bit closer. He’d never been able to get enough, always wanting more; a longer hug, a deeper kiss, more quiet moments between just the two of them. And now all he had was the memories of her, the voice he loved to no end ringing in his head, saying what she would have said.

Deep down, Nikolai knew he lost her that night when she stepped into the mist, disappearing from view. She’d slid from his grasp so easy. Only a second, a single second to change a lifetime. To alter the course he had tediously set.

Standing there, rocking as one with the boat, he let that last bit of her that resided in his mind sink to the bottom of the ocean to lay down with her. He’d had her to love, to hold, to cherish, but not anymore.

“On the third day, hallucinations set in...”

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

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This is so cute! I love your writing!

Man’s Best Friend

kaz brekker x reader - man’s best friend

summary: an unexpected companion turns into a worthy investment

warnings: typical six of crows stuff, slightly ooc kaz? - he’s a bit softer

A/N: I wrote this with a sighthound in mind, specifically a Saluki (google them - they’re stunning), but imagine whatever you’d like. :)

word count: 4.7k

The rumor on the street was that Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason. Well, Y/N L/N certainly thought she didn’t need a reason every time she entered Kaz’s little home at two in the morning. He’d grown accustomed to his door creaking open at unsaintly hours, her feet pitter pattering inside and then slowly pushing the door shut behind her.

He always laid there in his bed, silently listening to the girl, judging whether she just needed silent company or someone to talk to. The crows were notorious for unhealthy sleeping patterns and she was no exception. Y/N often sat in a chair, breathing softly, and enjoying Kaz’s quiet company as he slept. Other times she cried, over a job or some old memory, but he always sat with her. Letting her rant, get out all of her feelings, while he sat there, quiet but attentive.

Keep reading

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

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The inventor

Description: A killer is on the loose, eliminating Kaz's informants. In a desperate attempt, Kaz meets a certain inventor that has his mind racing, trying to figure out the complex puzzle she is.

This is my first fic. Please tell me what you thought of it and let me know if there are any mistakes. I'm thinking of making this a series.

If you wish to be tagged in my next fics send me a message.

You can find part 2 here: https://mindofasupernova.tumblr.com/post/655379605764587520/the-inventor-part-2

Part 3: https://mindofasupernova.tumblr.com/post/655531333961023488/the-inventor-part-3

Kaz x reader

Poison. A foreign substance that withered the strongest minds, condemned the lives of many men in the Barrel and the current reason why Kaz Brekker made his way through the infernal Ketterdam weather to reach a small quaint shop near the Church of Barter. But no common poison would have made the Bastard of the Barrel face the spindly fingers of cold wind wrapping around his spine, no, his problems weren´t caused by any average substance he knew of.

His problems started a couple of days before, when three of his informants had been found dead, veins bursting, purplish skin, and round red eyes. A ghastly image, one that had Kaz tearing his gaze away to prevent the waters from rising higher, putrescent hands pulling him under the waves. Kaz cursed his ghosts who never seemed to leave him be, the moon shone above his head in the shape of a fiendish smile as if mocking Kaz to face his demons.

Kaz Brekker had immediately searched for any doctor or alkemi capable and willing to identify the poisonous agent. No luck. All the knowledgable candidates were either too busy or complained that they would be offending Ghezen’s doctrine if they performed an autopsy on the corpses, but Kaz suspected they feared contracting a plague rather than facing the wrath of their Saints. Walking back to the slat after an infructuous day, gray clouds looming ahead as if reflecting Kaz's current mood, he had come across a petit shop that recently had become more popular for its concoctions, remedies, and new mechanical toys.

The quiet ding of a bell signaled his entrance, perking the attention of an elder Shu man behind the counter. Kaz strode towards the table and placed a tiny bag that contained the end of a syringe, stained with a little blood, the same syringe left on the corpse in one of the crime scenes.

"Business's been good" Kaz started, his salt rock rasp scratching each of his words.

"Sure it has, couldn't have imagined it but here we are." spoke the fragile man in a timid but merry voice.

"Well, since you appear to be quite gifted in chemistry, let's get straight to the point. I need you to identify this poison, if you're successful you'll be regarded considerably." Kaz stated, briefly turning around to examine the peculiar shop. It strangely reminded him of a cavernous underwater lair, the bottles, and vials glinting in the rarely lit room, giving it an effect of rippling water. Mr. Zhang stared at the bag with those small petrified eyes the fishes in the harbors had. A suitable place for a jumpy little fish attracted by shiny things just to be lured inside the mouth of more monstrous, sinister beings thought Kaz.

He had heard wonders of the new solutions sold at this particular establishment. Concoctions to cure the worst of headaches, ointments that reduced bruises into nothing, and even a new solution that closed small wounds and stopped the bleeding. If the old alchemist proved helpful, he might even grab a few remedies for him and his crows.

The senior carefully unraveled the end of the syringe, holding it with shaky hands towards the lamplight, casting a desertic warm glow to the shop, harsh contrast to the raging storm outside the local. Lastly, the aging man glanced up at Kaz, and with a squeaky voice answered:

"Oh no, I'm afraid I can't help you, young man. I'm merely just a vendor, my contact is the true genius behind the work."

Dirtyhands fixed the elderly with an impatient glare "Then, who is your contact? Notify him that I need him urgently".

"I'm afraid I cannot help you with that. The relationship between me and my contact depends on secrecy. My contact is adamant on remaining anonymous" answered the Shu vendor in a shy voice, wringing his hand nervously.

Kaz Brekker wasn't notorious for his patience, it had been an exhausting day and he was on the brink of snapping. He needed to find the culprit for the death of his men and make them pay, someone running on the streets killing informants made people hesitant to talk, it was bad for business. "Listen, I don't think you heard me correctly. I need your contact now or rumor might fly about a remedy seller who doesn't know a fraction about chemistry. Doubts would rise when people start asking for the supplier and the vendor refuses to name one." Kaz spoke in a warning tone and clicked his tongue as a form of reprimand.

The Shu man stuttered, opening and closing his mouth trying to come up with a justification. Defeated, he lowered his head and answered: "I'm afraid I cannot message my contact, but they will bring a supply of remedies in three days at this same hour. You can come and meet them yourself."

And that's exactly what Kaz Brekker was doing, fighting through the water droplets that splattered against his skin to get to his rendezvous. In some way, this felt like a déjà vu, he just hoped this time this said contact provided something useful.

Opening the door, he was greeted by the old gentleman and taken aside to wait for the arrival of this mysterious inventor.

___________

Y/N

Y/N walked hurriedly through the streets, eager to arrive at her destination, arms flagging tiredly from carrying a hefty package. Y/N pulled her hood higher, fingers red from the cold, she cursed silently as she almost slipped for the third time thanks to dreadful weather. "Of all days did it have to rain on this one" she muttered quietly.

She wished she had just snatched one of her father's carriages and avoided this hideous promenade towards Mr. Zhang's shop. But that completely risked what she was so keen on hiding: her whereabouts and late-night escapades for if her mother ever found out what she had been doing for the last two months she was sure she would never let her out of sight.

Her parents weren't cruel, greedy people who only saw her as an asset, quite the opposite. Although they loved her dearly and only wanted what they thought was best for her, they were old-fashioned and closed-minded. They thought a woman's place was beside her husband, pleasing him and taking care of their offsprings. A proper lady did not question natural phenomena nor did she took interest in any science-related topics, a lady only took interest in tea gossip and dresses. And to Y/N's misfortune, knowledge had captured her heart since she had received her first book, since the day one of her father's coworkers started translating a letter to a different language and since the tender age of seven when she had accidentally broken her father's clock and repaired it before anyone noticed.

Pushing the door open, Y/N was greeted with complete silence. Mr. Zhang wasn't in his usual spot, he must be in the back she thought, placing the box filled with vials on the counter. For the past four days, she had been working restlessly on her latest invention, sequestered in her secret makeshift lab inside her room. She couldn't wait to show it to Mr. Zhang, he could earn good money from it.

"So, you must be the contact Mr. Zhang is so keen on hiding." Y/N froze. She was grateful her hood was still up, covering her features and her back turned to the stranger.

"No need to be shy. I'm just here for business and your abilities could prove useful." the young male voice spoke behind her.

Foolish, foolish girl she reprimanded herself. She should have known Mr. Zhang would tell someone. She could try to escape, the man hadn't seen her face yet, but that was an even more foolish thought, she stood no chance. If my father hears about this I'll be doomed. All her dreams and secrets she had so carefully guarded would be ruined.

"Ms. Y/LN" Mr. Zhang, the old Shu gentleman, whispered. This is it. This is my demise she thought for she was certain that if the stranger worked for her father she'll never be able to leave her house again. There was no use in hiding anymore.

Reluctantly she turned around facing Mr. Zhang and the slightly shocked expression of a young man, no much older than her, dressed all in black and leaning his head on a cane with a crow's head.

_________________

Kaz

"Ms. Y/LN" Kaz heard, taken by surprise as the girl in question turned around to face them both.

Y/LN one of the wealthiest and most affluent families in Ketterdam. Duke Y/LN, who he assumed was Y/N's father, controlled 80% percent of all of Ketterdam´s merchant ships. Kaz knew he had a daughter but he had never seen her and couldn't fathom what she was doing in Mr. Zhang's shop, being his supposed "contact".

She was wearing a fine gray coat that reached her knees, covering what he presumed an equally expensive apricot dress. Wet curls framed her face, cheeks rosy from the cold, and doe eyes complemented her soft skin.

"Good evening" Y/N answered in a formal tone, straight posture emanating confidence all affluent families wished to demonstrate. Kaz could see she was nervous, clearly, she hadn't been expecting another guest, but if it made her feel better Y/N wasn't quite what he'd expected either.

"How shall I aid you?" Y/N questioned in a regal, but not haughty tone Kaz expected from royals. Somehow, that only irritated Kaz further. He expected a firm rejection as a good excuse to march back to the Slat, he didn't want to deal with royals who thought they were better than others just because they stole legally from the poorer. No, her tone was firm but curious, like she might truly want to help. Kaz didn't know what to make of it, it unnerved him. But he had walked too far just to return empty-handed and as much as he despised it, she was his only option.

Kaz fixed Y/N with a shark-like gaze and responded: "I need you to identify this poison." He handed her the small pouch with the syringe needle.

Y/N glimpsed inside the bag, closed it, and weighted it on her palm. "I'll be delighted to help but first I must know why is this of importance to you."

"No" Kaz voiced cut through the air. Silence.

"Well then, I'm afraid I cannot be of assistance. I do not wish anything in return but the context of the situation." Y/N answered with seriousness in her voice.

"I don't need nosy royals peering into my problems."

"I do not intend for your problems to become party gossip. But in that case, I wish you good luck finding someone willing to help you, Mr. Brekker." she said returning the pouch to the raven-haired boy. "Yes, I do know who you are. The cane is quite obvious. Have a good night".

"Why, are you afraid of associating with criminals, or are you not able to identify the poison?" Kaz mentioned as Y/N headed for the door. A halt in her movements. Pride, of course, too valuable to royals. A smirk crossed Kaz's face as she turned around to face him with those big inquisitive eyes of hers. A spark ignited inside those unique eyes, he couldn't think of a color that could quite match the one of her eyes. A single flame behind those orbs could set the whole world ablaze Kaz thought. Dirtyhands shook his head, confining that thought a forgotten vault inside his mind.

"Do not dare to assume anything of me, Mr. Brekker? I have never backed down from a challenge, I just simply like to know all the variables compromised in an environment." She warned, all seriousness and a defiant spark on her eyes that dared him to deny the answers. Proper ladies of Ghezen did not probe into matters, they didn't go out in secret working as anonymous alchemists and much less associated with criminals. Kaz was intrigued by her character and a small part of him urged to know her better. Find the solution to this unexpected puzzle.

An unexpected surprise, certainly. But Kaz wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad one and he was even less sure if making inquiries about things that did not belong in his world would lead to any good. Nonetheless, he dismissed the thought, the sooner the answer is found the sooner he'll lose interest in her persona, he reassured himself.

Kaz gave her the small pouch a second time. "Fine. How long will it take you to find the components?"

"A day at the most"

"Very well, identify the poison and I'll tell you what I know. " Kaz turned around and with long strides reached the door. He hoped she wasn't bluffing about her abilities, but one look back to all the vials and remedies lined up around the shop made all his doubts fade. His movements only halted when he heard her voice again.

"Wait. But how will I inform you of my results?"

"Leave that to me" Kaz assured, not even turning around, and walked out of the small establishment into the cold night.

Y/N remained on her spot for several seconds, what a strange acquaintance she thought. Y/N wasn't sure if she should have made a deal with Kaz Brekker. He walked as if the shadows did his bidding and talked as if the light repelled at his voice. But as she had mentioned before, she wasn't known for refusing a challenge, and unraveling Mr. Kaz Brekker was a very appealing one. Y/N didn't know if helping Kaz Brekker would be the solution to all her problems or the beginning of the most exquisite tragedy.

#kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone #six of crows

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

Your

tolerate it

nikolai lantsov x reader - tolerate it

summary: based upon ‘tolerate it’ by taylor swift, for @wtfrae & @wafflesandschemingfaces ‘s writing challenge

warnings: toxic relationship, fake marriage for political reasons, mentions of “husband” and “wife”, nikolai being a dick, profanity

word count: 4.6k

A/N: this doesn’t take place at any certain time of the canon timeline. also please do listen to the song to understand the vibes :)

Hanging off Nikolai’s rigid arm, Y/N mustered everything within her to plaster a gorgeous smile on her face, dazzling and inviting. Nikolai, like the good husband he now was, steered them through the crowd, stopping to talk with various dignitaries and officials. The ballroom they trotted through was grand, filled with a chattering crowd and dramatically swelling orchestral music. Not once did he glance her way, show any form of affection other than a nod of agreement when anyone complimented Y/N’s beauty.

But she gritted her teeth and pursued. There was no place in society for a newly wed bride to glare at her husband, give him a sharp jab in the ribs with her elbow. The Ravkans expected the image of utter beauty and grace, someone fit to be a Queen, at the banquet following Y/N’s wedding. So that’s what she delivered - smiling until her cheeks grew sore, eyes crinkling with laughter. The perfect wife for the perfect husband.

Glancing up at Nikolai, who was once again droning on about military tactics, his eyes ablaze with passion, Y/N tried to figure him out. There was something unnerving in the way he could transform like a chameleon, switch out masks as though this were all a play. A humble soldier for the generals. The honorable and magisterial King for his advisors. A strong leader for the people. But those roles never quite met his eyes. They were a sham, simply a role to play.

When he nodded in thanks, the look was confined to his smile. His eyes were empty, like a little window into a shell of a man only filled by whatever persona he needed at the moment.

She’d seen it at the altar, her trembling hands held firmly in his. A gentle squeeze was paired with a sharp gaze - a silent message of don’t mess this up as they said their I do’s. Yet all the while, a dazzling grin was painted on his face, gazing at her as though every inch of his heart was filled with lovesick affection. But it wasn’t - the smile was a facade, yet another mask, and his eyes were blank.

It was the same when he proclaimed their undying love to fawning Duchesses. That he’d seen Y/N walking about in a garden, rose in hand, and had been so stricken that he had to propose. The crowd oohed and awed at the spectacle, holding hands over their hearts at the story. It was a lie but that didn’t really matter, not if it made the people swoon.

That was one thing Nikolai had been right about. “The people want a love story, Y/N,” he had lectured, pacing about in a meeting room just hours before their wedding. “They need hope for a better future - a better Ravka. A political marriage would look horrid. We need to put on a show, a grand lovesick one at that.”

Ravka had been ravenous for the love affair, eating up each detail, always desperate for another piece. Market owners and peasants had flocked around the gates of Os Alta, desperate for relics of the momentous day. The wedding of Ravka’s son and the Jewel of the country.

But Y/N didn’t care for the luxuries, the drama surrounding their little play. She just wanted him to look at her. To gaze down even once, just recognize she was there. To recognize she was now his bride, tethered to him for eternity. Tell me everything will be okay, she silently urged and laid a hand upon the bicep of his arm which her other arm was looped through. Give me a sign that I just didn’t condemn myself to a loveless life by saying “I do.”

Nikolai didn’t. In fact, he hadn’t looked her in the eyes since the moment they agreed upon the marriage.

“Marry me.”

Y/N nearly choked on the wine she was sipping. She sputtered awkwardly, the glass dancing about in her hands as she stumbled from shock. Regaining a steady hand, she placed it down onto the table.

Staring up at Nikolai, a cocky grin dancing on his face as he crossed his legs, she realized he had obtained the reaction he hoped for. Rubbing one hand along his jawline, the other clutching his wine glass, he stared at her appraisingly, as if he was trying to assign a price to her head. There was something domineering about him, something other than the full uniform he wore, various medals including the Ravkan double eagle glinting in the light. There was something in his eyes, how they flickered about the room and then over her, searching, analyzing, adjusting himself to the moment.

Grappling for a grip over her composure, Y/N straightened her back and gazed back. “But we aren’t…”

“In love? That’s not how royal marriages typically work, darling. And don’t worry you can…” He flipped one hand in the air, emphasizing what he was alluding to.

“No, I’d be loyal.”

Y/N’s stomach flipped violently like a stranded ship on a rough sea, being thrown and splintered by the relentless waves. Nikolai simply shot her that dazzling grin. A grin that had an undertone of mockery, looking at her as though she was just a naive little thing.

It was that same grin he had as a child, pretending to be grander than he actually was at his parents’ balls. Y/N’s parents had always nudged her towards the Lantsov brothers, dreaming of a future marriage in their politically entangled minds. But they always aimed for Vasily, a pompous looking thing, not even half as charming as his younger brother.

Nikolai could work a crowd, that’s what separated him from his family. He knew what the people wanted. And now, gazing up at him, she realized what he needed - her.

Who better to solidify his standing amongst the Ravkan people than the Jewel? A girl whose father had pushed her into the spotlight, pulled on strings like a puppet master to transform her into the perfect daughter. One who could tap out a gorgeous piano piece, woo crowds with her soft smile, and could paint landscapes to rival Mother Nature herself. Everyone in Ravka either wanted to be her or own a piece of her.

“I wouldn’t blame you for indiscretions, I mean my mother did-”

“I’m aware.”

With a deep inhale and a sip of his wine, Nikolai gave a single tight formal nod.

Y/N glanced down at her hands laying in her lap, softly grazing her fingertips over the luxurious silk. If she went ahead with this, she would be marrying a Lantsov in name only. And for some reason, it felt like an omen for the future of her possible life. Is that what she’d be - a wife, a Lantsov in name only? But did it matter?

Her parents had raised her for this moment, the glory of marrying their daughter off to a son of Ravka. Heart clenching at this thought of disappointing them, throwing away the purpose she was trained for, she found herself agreeing.

“I will marry you.”

“Nikolai,” Y/N whispered softly, voice like a butterfly in the breeze as she leaned in the open doorway.

Over the months, she’d come to admire the silence of her husband. Somehow he was quiet and commanding all at once, but all the while still not meeting her gaze. The silence seemed to be reserved for her. Nikolai had no problems picking up easy conversation with guests, chatting in the evenings with his old friends, or even relaying orders to the staff. How he ignored her was infuriating but through transforming her nerves into ones of steel, she grew to tolerate it.

“Nikolai,” she prompted again, gaze taking in her husband, slouched over in his chair, leaning over the grand mahogany desk, maps and papers splayed across its surface in a haphazard manner.

She took a gentle step inside when he didn’t acknowledge her, anxiously smoothing the fabric of the pants she wore. “Dinner is ready.”

With a huff, Nikolai leaned back in his chair, flipping through a book with one hand while the other ran through his scruffy blonde hair.

“The cook made your favorite - cream puff pastry for dessert.”

Heart leaping in her chest, she noticed how Nikolai slightly looked up at the mention. The action left her breathless, thankful she’d managed to pull some reaction from him.

“I’ll be down shortly, go ahead,” he said, glancing back down and dipping his pen in ink before scribbling away.

Y/N clenched her fists at her side and glanced up at the ceiling, praying to the Saints above for a bit of confidence. Anything to help her maintain composure while speaking to the insanely stubborn man. She wanted to scream, slap him across the cheek until he listened. Anything would be better than the silence and empty eyes - even a glare. She wanted him to hate her, to have a reason for the cold shoulder.

The dinner tonight would be their first alone in months. No foreign dignitaries or officials to entertain, no generals Nikolai served under to share war stories with. Just them… and the servants standing by to bow to their every need.

“And how would that look?” Y/N snapped, wincing at her aggressive tone. “Your wife eating alone at dinner? The only opportunity we’ve had to eat alone.”

Nikolai set down his pen and rubbed his hand over his neck, working at the aching muscles knotting beneath. At that moment, he looked so much older and wiser than he truly was. As though he’d seen a million lifetimes through, gathered knowledge enough to fill a tome. And yet, that was partially true - he’d filled many roles, far more than she. Boy, prince, soldier, poet, apprentice, privateer, King, and finally, her husband.

They both knew rumors would stir if she dined alone, sending a flurry of under the breath chatter through the palace. The seemingly harmless whispers between servants would then leak, spreading through Os Alta like a plague, infecting the minds of the people. Public opinion would sway as they realized their King and Queen didn’t have the fairytale romance little girls dreamed of. Of a gorgeous Prince riding along on a white horse, whisking his love off to a grand palace to be spoiled with jewels and fineries.

“Tell them I’m busy,” Nikolai decided, rolling his head before holding a map up in the air, a barrier between the couple that might as well have been a brick wall.

“They’ll talk,” Y/N responded in a furious whisper.

“Let them talk, darling.”

Spinning on her heel, Y/N held her head high and walked out of the room. The moment her feet crossed the threshold, she allowed her shoulders to drop, giving out from under the weight of stress. The process of keeping her composure, that aura of power - one of a Queen, was purely exhausting, taxing both her mind and body.

Furious, steam practically pouring from her ears, she stormed down to the dining room and plastered on her most convincing smile. Tucking a glass of water in the crook of each arm, she balanced their dinner plates in her hands. Servants of course delicately questioned, concerned about their Queen. But after a smile and a thank you for the wonderful dinner, she managed to convince them Nikolai desired a quiet private dinner in his office.

Heading back to their private wing, she bumped the slightly cracked door open with her hip and then kicked it shut behind her. Nikolai’s wild scratching upon parchment paused for a moment before continuing.

“I brought dinner.”

Nikolai hummed, stashing his papers away and reached for the plate Y/N set upon his desk. Y/N pulled up a chair beside him, taking a fork and quietly picking through her food.

“I told them you wanted to eat in peace, so keep up the lie.”

Another lie, spoke a taunting voice in the back of her head. By now there were a million little lies stored in her mind, false details she needed to remember to keep the fantasy alive.

Her husband simply nodded, taking a bite out of a biscuit as he stared ahead at a blank wall.

Running a soft brush through her hair, Y/N desperately looked for anything to gaze at other than the mirror that displayed her reflection. Behind her, right within the viewpoint of the mirror, Nikolai stood, hands trailing down the front of his white shirt as he popped open buttons. Peeling off the shirt, lean muscles rippling, he silently prepared for bed as did his wife.

The past week they’d begun sharing a room, rather begrudgingly, as rumors had begun to swirl outside the walls of Os Alta that Ravka’s favorite couple slept in separate rooms. It struck fear in the country’s heart - fear that something went awry, that the couple was falling apart, that there would be no clear line of succession.

Y/N jerked open a drawer of her vanity, the jewelry inside violently rattling. Slipping off her rings, she dropped them one by one into the drawer, little droplets falling into the ocean of diamonds. But she noticed little pieces of her collection were going missing over the past few days. An emerald earring on Saturday, a broken silver bracelet Sunday, stationary from her desk on Tuesday. Her maids were nicking them, stashing the pieces away in their pockets to later sell as relics.

Before her marriage, merchants on the streets had peddled old buttons, worn books, clumps of hair tied with a pretty ribbon. All claimed to be hers: a button from a coat, a book from her library, a piece of the future Queen’s hair. All little mementos for her people to remember a time before she became the Queen.

And now it was happening all over again but for a different reason. Little relics that related to either her or Nikolai were hot on the market, being sold on every street corner of Ravka. To commemorate a time before the heir.

Now that the royal couple was once again sharing a room, something Nikolai had casually dropped into conversations to wave off rumors, the people were hoping for a Lantsov child. Which, of course, there would be none. Not unless Nikolai decides to continue the theme of a bastard ruling Ravka.

“Are there others?”

The question toppled out of her mouth before she could even fully think. The doubt had been gnawing away at her, tearing her insides apart at just the mere thought.

“What?”

“Women.”

Raising her gaze, she just barely caught Nikolai snarkiky rolling his eyes as he pulled on blue plaid woolen pants.

“Of course not,” he replied. “Are there other men?”

“Of course not,” she snapped, mocking his previous statement. He should have known better, she did nothing but throw herself at his feet. Doing anything to earn his attention, his love - just a glance in her direction.

As Nikolai raised his arms over his head, stretching the muscles tense from stress, Y/N couldn’t help but stare at the reflection in the mirror. He was devilishly handsome, but worst of all - he knew it. It was impossible to not notice the smirk on his face as he climbed into bed, laying on his back with one arm resting behind his head. Staring up at the ceiling, his other hand tapped rhythms onto his bare stomach.

Turning around in her seat, Y/N watched him, truly this time, not through the comfort of a mirror. It felt as though every moment had let up to this: each glare, each time he ignored her, every time she had wished to slap him silly. Their road, riddled with twists and turns, led to now, this very intimate moment.

“Why can’t you look at me?”

The drumming of fingers paused for a single second before continuing. “You want me to look at you?”

“Yes, to start with.”

Nikolai drew in a deep breath, his chest dramatically rising before falling once again with the creeping exhale. “What else? You already have the jewels, the title, my last name, you have my arm to hang off of at events. I kiss your hand and call you my wife, cradle your face in my hands and fawn over you.”

“Only at events.”

“So?”

The incredulous tone laced so thickly in his voice was a punch straight to Y/N’s gut, sending her reeling and desperate for a way to steady herself. He spoke as though she were a small child, too naive and young to know how the world truly worked - as if her request was completely bizarre. She wasn’t asking for a slain dragon’s head to be set at her feet - she was asking for basic dignity.

Raising her head, she stubbornly gathered everything within her to portray confidence. Without a second thought, she demanded, “I want that here - when it’s just the two of us. When you aren’t trying to impress someone or sell our horribly fake love story. I want you to be my husband.”

“I am.”

“Not a real one. I want you to say good morning when I wake up. To tell me you love me when no one is looking. To kiss my forehead when I’m tired. I want you to tell me everything is going to be okay - that we will work through this. I want you to fucking look at me, Nikolai.”

He simply ran one tired hand through his hair, causing the blonde waves to separate. It was clear he was deep in thought, jaw clenched and eyes trained on the ceiling. But just as Y/N thought he was going to reply, he rolled over and tugged the silk sheets and heavy furs over himself.

Blowing out a candle, he simply muttered, “Goodnight.”

Y/N froze, a chilling wave of dread washing over her. She’d tried and failed. Tried to get through to him. Tried to explain what she needed from this marriage. And once again, he ignored her, put his back to face her.

She ran her hands up her own arms, tugging at her shoulders in a form of hugging herself. Through the months, she’d made him her everything. Nikolai was the sun and the moon, the stars that dazzled the sky. He was the object of all of her paintings, that rigid commanding form amidst wars, raging seas. Taking back Ravka. He defined her life. No one thought of her as Y/N, she was just Nikolai’s wife.

And now she was begging to be in some part of his life, a tiny little portion to be left for the footnotes of books to be written about him. She was a blip, a tiny occurrence in time, just the pretty face next to the King.

Glancing up at their portrait hung on the wall, barely visible in the candlelight from her vanity, she let her gaze run over their figures immortalized in oil paint. The colors and soft brushstrokes, forever imprinted in paint, sneered down at her, mocking and laughing. Painted faces twisted into wicked grins, aware of the dark hidden truth. Nikolai’s head was turned softly, glancing down at his wife sitting on a chair, the plumes of her blue dress pooling around her legs. An affectionate hand rested on her shoulder, something that the artist had taken liberties in adding in.

To the world, the portrait captured their love, illustrated in the most vivid of colors: a warm blush on Nikolai’s cheeks, the iciness of the Ravkan pale blue, a warm brick colored backdrop to signify warmth.

It was all a sham. That day, posing for the artist, they stood feet apart, posture rigid as they stared ahead. There was no softly gazing into one another’s eyes, little touches on the shoulder. Y/N could vividly remember the pity etched upon the artist’s face, gazing at her as though she’d broken the news someone dear to her heart had died.

It was she who died that day, plunging a dagger into her heart which she couldn’t pull out, only twisting from side to side. And day by day, it plunged deeper, severing the organ that still beat with love. A love that should be wholly celebrated, adored, appreciated. All Nikolai did was tolerate it.

Every few minutes, the slick wooden decking of the boat dropped out from under Y/N’s feet, sending her scrambling to grip the railing.

The past week they’d been touring various Ravkan coastal towns, all part of Nikolai’s little tour to become “one with the people” as he had said. And of course, she played along; shaking hands, kissing babies, doting on her husband. His hand had felt permanently attached to her lower back, his fingers grazing the fabric in false affection or pulling her closer to him for a kiss on the forehead.

But now they were alone, out on the high seas which Nikolai seemed to gravitate towards, following some internal compass to his true north. Toyla and Tamar were climbing in the rigging like monkeys, responding to Nikolai’s commands who was playing the role of privateer once again.

Harsh waves slammed into the side of their tiny ship, sending it bobbing across the surface of the ocean, battling through the mist and rain. Sea foam sprayed in the air, cascading over the ship like snow on a deep winter’s day.

Through the dense mist, Y/N could barely make out Nikolai’s form at the front of the ship, where the two wooden sides curved into a single point. She struggled towards him, one hand gripping the railing of the edge as her bare feet slid over the water.

White shirt billowing in the wind behind him like a sail, Nikolai looked at one with the sea. As though he were birthed in its depths and surfaced with the waves, bobbing along with the violent waters. His golden hair blew wildly in the wind, damp from mist and rain to the point where it nearly looked brown. Y/N found herself standing next to him, both hands desperately gripping the railing.

“It’s beautiful,” she gasped, staring down at the churning waves below, how they rose and fell, sending droplets of water spraying.

Nikolai silently spread his arms wide, loose sleeves fluttering in the harsh winds like the powerful wings of an eagle. Head tipping back, he allowed the sea to overtake him, “It is.”

“Do you miss this - the sea?”

“Saints, yes. This… this is living, my dear.”

The boat bobbed, turning towards the sky as it crested a roaring wave and then dropped from under their feet. Stumbling forward, Y/N gripped onto Nikolai’s arm, the wet thin fabric scrunching under her grip.

She gazed up at him, eyes trailing after the beads of water that fell down his face. And then he met her gaze, looked at her, for the first time since he asked her that fatal question.

Y/N drew in a deep breath as she got lost in those hazel eyes, soft greens and light browns, as if there was a bit of forest floor trapped inside. A carpet of moss against the roots of trees, twisting and twining through the undergrowth. It was a soft place to rest, stable and safe, firmly underneath one’s feet.

And as the ship continued to toss and turn amongst the waves, sails whipping violently in the wind, Y/N couldn’t bring herself to let go. She just kept staring into his eyes which returned the gaze, something she had prayed for. Those beautiful eyes weren’t empty either. There was something lurking beneath, filling the void. It was a look of pity, grief even - grieving the life that could’ve been. How they could have ruled side by side, with a genuine grin on their faces, true love in their eyes. That they should be sleeping tangled up in one another, not knowing where she began and he ended, instead of sleeping an arm’s length apart, backs facing each other.

“I can’t love you,” Nikolai choked out, glancing at the churning waves before returning his gaze to her.

“What?”

“That’s why I don’t look your way - I can’t… won’t fall in love.” Nikolai wrenched his arm from her grasp, turning back to the railing. “Kings cannot afford weaknesses, it’s like poison running through your veins, making your head foggy. I won’t - for Ravka.”

“Nikolai-”

He held up one pale hand, stopping her voice in its tracks. “The kingdom rests in my hands. It is I who feeds them, provides a shroud of safety, an illusion of stability. I can’t risk that by being foolish.”

“Loving someone isn’t foolish,” she desperately reassured, reaching out for her husband that always seemed to elude her touch.

Jerking away from her, he wheeled on his heel, facing her once again and ran both hands through his ragged hair.

“My father was lured from his duties by pretty women. My brother by horses and whores. I won’t be like them, Y/N.”

She felt her very heart split in half, heartstrings breaking at the words dropping from his lips. There was fear stirring within his eyes, tainting the grief she’d once seen. Eyes wild and face ghostly pale, Nikolai looked deranged, dragging his hands over his face.

Gently she reached for him, speaking as softly as she could, “Love is the strongest thing a person can do. It is the act of bearing your heart and soul, exposing it to shame and scorn all in the hopes of love.”

“You should find love. We can mask the truth, continue our play as the country cries for an encore.”

Y/N wanted to scream, bang her hands on his chest until he just listened. Why didn’t he see? Why couldn’t he see that she loved him? Even after the cold shoulder he’d given her, the exhaustion wracking her body, she still loved him. Every inch of her did. Somewhere along the line, she fell in love with his handsome face and dazzling smile. She admired the way he held himself, like a beacon of power.

But now, the wind and rain whipping their bodies, soaking them to the bone, he looked as broken as she felt. His chest rose and fell quickly, the drenched shirt acting like a second skin. Y/N reached for him again, wrapping fingers around one of his wrists.

“Don’t you see that I want you, Nikolai? I want you!” Y/N begged as though her life relied on it, voice wavering and body trembling. Her hands ran over his damp skin, holding onto Nikolai like he was a lifeline in the middle of the raging storm. “I want you to love me, truly, wildly. To have me share in your troubles, to celebrate victories together. Love me, do not just tolerate me.”

Nikolai’s jaw clenched, staring down at her as though he viewed her as a leech, hanging off his every word, every little action. Her hands trailed up his arms, over his chest, muscles tightening underneath, and up to his face. Cupping his face in her hands, she allowed her fingers to dance over his jawline.

“Please love me, Nikolai,” she whispered, voice traveling with the harsh winds. “Love me.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Then fucking try,” she yelled, crying over the roar of a wave, colliding with the side of the boat, cascading ice cold water over them. “Try for me!”

As tears trickled down her cheeks, blending with droplets of saltwater, Nikolai’s gaze softened. Reaching one hand up, he ghosted his fingers over her temple and then cupped her cheek. Touching her, holding her, for this first time in private - just the two of them.

“I will. I’ll try for you, darling.”

General Taglist

@thegirlwiththeimpala @goldengoddess @vintagebitc @mylifeofcalculatedchaos @sixofshadowandbone @wanderlustingreader @cameronsails @itisroe @lawsandother @the-abyss-gazed-back

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

Love the writing! One of the best plots I've seen.

The agreement Part.1 - Kaz Brekker

Resume/Masterlist.

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader.

Warnings of series: Convenience/arranged marriage, swearing, mention of fight, mention of death, mention of desire, fluff, sensual, mention of post-traumatic stress.

Warnings of chapter: swearing.

Word count: 2k.

A/N: I hope you guys like.💖

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are closet. Love you ❤️

— — — —

What am I doing? What am I doing?

Those words rang in your mind like a scandalous siren. Incessant. Your pulse was racing to alarming levels and you thought might have a heart attack from the way your heart pumped frantically.

The night breeze from Ketterdam came in through the windows, blew through your hair and kissed your cheeks, bringing the smell of sea air down it back. You tried to control your heartbeat, but being in Kaz Brekker's office was the greatest act of recklessness and naivety you've ever committed. And the list of reckless actions in your past was long.

You tried to fill your lungs with courage, ignore the Crow Clube sounds coming from downstairs, probably being thieves, murderers and cheaters have fun. You focused your eyes ahead. With a goal in mind.

Your father's ultimatum still buzzed in your head like an airplane engine, stoking your rage, fueling your courage like nothing else would. You are furious. And it would be with that force of hate that you would reach your damn goal. Many adjectives could be used to describe you, but docile and obedient was not one of them. Petulance burned in your soul and you would rather die than subjugate yourself to someone else's orders. Your spirit was free, indomitable, had the need to question, to inquire, to make yourself heard. And did you know that the existence of a man who admired a woman of opinion was infinitesimal.

Mainly in your father's social cycle.

He couldn't be described as a bad man, let alone a reckless or spiteful father. But he was a man born at a different time, with different customs and precepts. In his mind, the correct thing, and what would bring a happy life, was for women to follow the orders of their husbands. They interacted with the best way to raise their children, read cookbooks and always knew that should agree with her husband, because he was a man. And men always made the best decisions.

For someone like your father, so archaic and tenacious, the precepts of family and home were the greatest virtues one could have. And he became relentless when it came to marrying his only daughter. He wanted an heir to take over his industrial empire. And since his archaic beliefs didn't allow women to run businesses - and he showed zero interest in wanting to find another wife and hoping for a male child - it was clear that you would have to play the role of bringing an heir into the family. Your husband. And then your son.

But your unwillingness to marry had proved to be the biggest hurdle your father would have to overcome. It was constantly observed that you had a strong personality, reckless, confident and had opinions about everything. You simply did what you wanted, said what you wanted, and you were unable to hide what you felt. It had also been observed that you spent too much time with books, that you couldn't care less about the contents of a pantry or what was the best meal to serve for a family. And all of this couldn't be more true.

You were much more interested in romance, poetry and adventure. Liked tropical islands with hidden pirate treasures and loved the way sailing gave you the feeling of freedom. Freedom that would be brutally cut off by a husband who would expect obedience and submission in all your actions. That would force you to cook and take care of the huge offspring. That would reprimand your strong opinions and lock your adventurous and free soul in a cage.

This would be death for you.

And that's why you were here. In the dark and imposing office. Desperate to escape your atrocious fate and gain eternal freedom. You had heard, at a whisper or another, that there was a person in Ketterdam who would do anything for the right price. Someone willing to do any job if you offered a lucrative deal. Dirty Hands, better known as Kaz Brekker.

Being from the noblest part of Kerch, you never heard much about what was happening in the capital, nor about the cheats, criminals and mercenaries who lived there. But Kaz Brekker's name had surfaced in a gossip or two, enough for you to know what he do and where to find him. He was your last hope.

Agreeing with the deadline your father had given you and lying wen you say that were going to a friend's house in Ketterdam, looking for a candidate, you got into the carriage and crossed the city, aiming to arrive at the Crow Clube very clear and firm in your mind.

However, now that you were sitting in the dark chair, with the infamous Kaz Brekker across from you on the other side of the office desk, watching you with his intense, dark ocean blue eyes, you felt your courage boil down to a grain of sand. You didn't know what kind of man you expected to find behind the Brekker name, but it sure as hell wasn't the tall, lean, strong figure in front of you. With hair as dark as night and a beautiful mouth made for lying and sinning. His features were firm and strong, haunted by a dangerous and mysterious aura, as if Kaz Brekker were the creepy fog of a haunted city.

"Let me see if I understand, Ms.Y/L/N." His voice was husky and steady. “Are you willing to spend this amount so that my men will help you escape to Ravka without your father or his spies knowing?” He question, though rhetorical and boastful, had a light touch of surprise. As if someone like you is unlikely to have all that courage.

That made you press your fingers into your palms. Angry. You wanted to ask him if he was deaf, but you wasn't going to anger your last resort.

"Yea." You gritted your teeth. “Preferably today. Now."

Brekker raises an eyebrow in an unconcerned gesture, and you shift your body.

“The point is…” If that frustrated man wasn't going to act as quickly as you wanted, you'd show him how urgent the matter was. “My father, the owner of the…”

“I know who your father is.” Brekker interrupted you, making you realize that he wasn't the type to enjoy having his time wasted by little stories he already knew. If you wanted his time, you had to earn it.

It didn't surprise you that he know your family. Your father built an empire with electricity plants and power plants. He was practically the richest person, apart from royalty, who roamed those lands. Subjects flew in that world and everyone knew the people who had a lot of purchasing power.

“As I was saying. My dad wants to marry me to whoever he chooses if I can't find a husband. And shit, three days for that.”

Normally, Kaz Brekker wouldn't be interested in a girl's problems. But since Inej saw you walking towards the Crow Club, looking very determined, curiosity swept through his body. Rich people didn't resorted him by chance. It was always desperate measures, desperation reeked of money. And in the case of the girl in front of him, in a red suede dress that was worth much more than his entire wardrobe, the smell of money was much stronger.

Kaz allowed himself to smile inside. That would earn him a fair amount.

"Then I want to run away." You kept saying "Because my father is going to sentence me to some insufferable man who will cut off my freedom, demand submission and reduce my life to hell if I dare contradict him.

“And you seem to have a lot of knowledge about men.” Brekker was playing with you, like a cat hitting a mouse from side to side.

He wanted to unlock your secrets, find the best crack to get more profit, understand the gravity of the situation for you, for to raise prices to where your despair went.

A blush crept up your cheeks but you struggled not to look away. Your soul are determined, Kaz realized that immediately.

“Not in that sense.” You used ambivalence “Maybe a little...but my father's social cycle is made up of the most bossy and insufferable men. Merchants think they are the gods of the world and will never tolerate a woman disobeying his orders or who knows more than they do. I would be crazy to get involved with a man like that.”

"We found one thing we agree on."

He instigated you to say more, and you didn't disappoint. Kaz was taking advantage of your sociable and talkative nature.

“And they wouldn't even marry me for feeling any emotion. But yes because my dowry of thirty million Kruges and my father's business leadership are much more interesting. these bastards…”

Kaz's mind lurched and braked sharply. That was interesting.

"A dowry of thirty million?"

“And my dad business leadership.” You shrugged, clearly your father's empire wasn't interesting to you. “I'm practically sold like a fish.”

“A very valuable fish.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Yes, an award-winning animal. Now how do you intend to get me out of here and send me to Ravka?”

"Oh I won't take you."

"What?!" Your hopes faded and you felt despair begin to invade your body. “But why?”

Kaz Brekker looked at you intently. Passing through hair falling like waves over your shoulders, your eyes sparkled with something he couldn't decipher, and your hands clasped in your lap that fidgeted as you grew more and more nervous and anxious.

In that moment, Kaz saw the solution to all his problems, sitting in front of him. And the ironic thing was, he didn't even have to search for. Millions of Kruges had simply walked into his office, stretched out within reach of his hands and promising a life that would fulfill his every wish. He thought of Jordie. In the revenge he'd promised his brother swallowed by the sea, in the hatred he felt for Pekka Rollins, in the way his entire life had been a series of serial misadventures that ripped off of all he had good to offer. Kaz felt the blood pulse hot in his veins and anger cloud his judgments.

He had waited so long to get revenge on Pekka Rollins. Always going sleep restless and burning in the flames of hate. Repeating in his mind “brick by brick” like a mantra, a way to stay sane, to be patient while building the mechanisms that destroyed Rollins from beginning to end. Death was not enough. Brekker had to see him plead. Beg. And with thirty million Kruges and owning Kerch’s biggest business, he would not only be a much richer man than Pekka, but he would have the power to tear down, brick by brick, everything Pekka once built.

Then the despicable man would come running, calling Kaz's name like a prayer, and he would have the pleasure of watching Rollins sink and drown. The same way drowned Jordie and Kaz Rietveld in that ocean.

The breeze laden with salt and cold reverberated through the office once more, and Kaz's shrewd, shrewd mind was plotting at full speed. His gaze settled on you, half wandering, half scanning the dungeons of your soul. As if he could make out what was in the back of your eyes. His plan swirled in brain, and the hemisphere seemed to become suspended, blurry, and sluggish. Kaz could see what he'd always craved a foot away. Bright and appetizing.

He could do that. Brekker concluded. He could marry you on a very lucrative deal. It would take persuasion and relentless confidence to get you in the good graces of his mercenary plan. But nothing Kaz wasn't used to doing. And because of the desperation your body exuded, you had already done half a job for him.

You wanted freedom. And he wanted money. If he could marry you and keep up appearances for your father in a secret that only the two of you would know, after he received your dowry he could earn revenge, and you could do anything you wanted. Kaz didn't care.

It seemed too easy. So easy that his soul truly rejoiced after many years.

“I'm suggesting we make a new plan, Y/L/N.” It was the first smile he ever gave you, a gesture that just arched left corner, like a sneaky snake. “I suggest you marry me.”

Tagged: @aleksanderwh0r3

@thedelusionreaderbitch

@hi-there-x

@mell-bell

@glowingatdawn

@subjecta13-thefangirl

@itsnotquimey

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

This is so cute! I love it!

I Need You Here

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz/Reader

Request: Ok so could I maybe get a kaz x reader where they do that cloth kiss thing where they kiss through a cloth so kaz doesn’t freak out but then he starts carrying it around when the reader has to go out of town for a job so he can feel closer to her?

Keep reading

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mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

Your writing is truly astounding! I wasn’t really into Jesper but your fics have totally changed that!

my heart beats for you

jesper fahey x reader - my heart beats for you

summary/request: the two times y/n listened to jesper’s heart and the one time she did something about it

warnings: mentions of drinking, profanity, jesper x heartrender!reader

word count: 1.8k

Y/N knew it was an invasion of privacy, but she couldn’t help it - she loved listening to other’s heartbeats. It was interesting how the heart reacted; racing like a horse from fear, flipping around from anxiety, skipping a beat or two when excited. Everyone’s heart was unique.

Matthias’s heart beat like the march of a soldier: steady, consistent, uniform. Even in the face of danger, it didn’t waver - beating at its set rhythm. It reminded Y/N of the pounding of elk hooves in the early morning, a herd wandering across a misty meadow. Those hooves were like drums beating, ethereal - one with nature, and filled with passion. But his heart always skipped a beat or two when Nina walked into the room. There was a special beat, a song of love, just for Nina.

Kaz’s heart beat erratically, jumping at every slight noise. The boy was constantly on edge, ready to react at the slightest cue. Y/N was sure that constant state of vigilance had taken a few years off of his lifespan. But his heart always slowed to a steady beat when he looked at Inej, slightly hitching in his chest. It always made Y/N smile, how his eyes became just a tad bit softer, how his shoulders weren’t held so stiffly. That steady beat reminded Y/N of a cozy home, a nice comfortable silence. Maybe Inej was Kaz’s home.

But it was Jesper’s heart that captured her attention. His heart was somewhere between Matthias’s and Kaz’s; steady but excitable, reliable but spontaneous. It was so very Jesper, an intoxicating mix of safety and danger.

When he glanced over at her, a cocky grin on his face, Y/N could hear his heart skip a beat. In fact, it tended to do that whenever she was close to him - leaning against his side or laughing at one of his jokes. Jesper had this grin on his face whenever his heart beat just for her, softly gazing.

And yet he never made a move, always tearing his lingering gaze away. It made Y/N’s heart splinter slightly from doubt, wondering if what she assumed about the way his heart beat was wrong.

Y/N carefully walked through the Crow Club, dodging tables full of pigeons spilling their coin out. The chatter was so loud that she could hardly hear her own thoughts.

“Hey, c’mere!” Jesper hollered, standing up from his seat at a table and enthusiastically waving her over.

With a smile plastered on her face, she pushed her way through the crowd to the small gambling table. Jesper was gathered around with a few of his friends, all with shiny coins in their hands, profits ready to be gambled away.

“I thought Kaz told you not-,” Y/N began to lecture but Jesper quickly cut her off, a mischievous grin playing upon his lips.

“And that is why you aren’t going to tell. Right, doll?”

Her own heart flipped at the pet name, and without even thinking, she tuned into Jesper’s heart. The beats were uneven, but it was like a jackrabbit, thumping away with excitement.

“Of course, anything for you, Jespie,” she shamelessly flirted in response, using the pet name she knew he loved to hate.

Jesper seemed unbothered, just shooting a wink in response as he rolled dice around in one hand. But Y/N could practically hear how his heart flipped in his chest.

He held out of the dice, dropping them into her outstretched palm. “I need some good luck.”

Smiling, Y/N daintily kissed the dice and passed them back, now with a crimson smudge tainting the polished surface.

With another wink and a skip of the heart, Jesper rolled the dice onto the table.

Y/N rested her head in her hands as Jesper tossed back drinks, sitting across the Club with two beautiful people at his side. Her heart cracked at how happy he looked, charming his way into the hearts of others.

Inej pulled out a chair and sat down next to Y/N, gazing at her inquisitively. “He likes you, you know.”

With a shrug, Y/N leaned back in her chair, dragging one exhausted hand over her face. “It’s just flirting.”

But deep down inside, she knew it wasn’t. The lingering glances that lasted for just a touch too long and the endless pet names were something more. It wasn’t how Jesper jokingly flirted with Kaz and it certainly wasn’t friendly. Yet here they were, stuck in a limbo filled with flirty sayings and touches.

Inej shook her head, a smile creeping onto her face. “No, I’ve seen how he looks at you - like you’re the center of his world.”

A red flush quickly swelled, masking Y/N’s face in embarrassment. “Stop.”

“I’m serious!” Inej exclaimed, leaning forward in her seat. “And you can’t tell me you don’t find him attractive.”

“Well of course I do!”

“Then go do something about it!

“You want me to go over there and…,” Y/N trailed off, somehow shocked at Inej’s suggestion.

With a smile and a roll of the eyes, Inej responded, “Well yeah.”

“No,” Y/N stated, shaking her head. “I can’t risk my friendship with him.”

“You two,” Inej drawled out, taking a sip of her golden drink mid sentence, “are insufferable.”

“That is very wise coming from the likes of you.”

“What do you mean?” Inej questioned, her brows furrowing together as she gulped.

“You and Kaz,” Y/N stated, an obvious teasing tone in her voice. “His heart literally stops when he looks at you, like you’re a goddess or something.”

Inej awkwardly coughed and glanced down at her hand, the fingers tightly wrapped around the glass. “You’ve listened to his heart?”

“Of course,” Y/N snorted, laughing softly. “I’m nosey - I’ve listened to everyone’s hearts.”

Quickly lifting her head, Inej devilishly grinned. “Then you’ve listened to Jesper’s.”

“No,” Y/N defended herself, a little too staunchly which only made Inej’s smile grow. “No, I haven’t.”

“You so have!”

“Fine,” she admitted. “It skips a beat, fluttering in his chest, when he looks at me.”

“Well go on then, listen to it now.”

Y/N froze at the suggestion, her gaze turning back to Jesper whose head was thrown back, his laughter echoing throughout the room. Trembling, she raised her hands and listened for his heartbeat, the drumming that she had come to know and love. And there it was, that consistent beat hammering in her ears. As she listened, a sense of horror overtook her as she mentally prepared herself to hear the skip in the rhythm. The skip that meant Jesper’s heart was pining for someone. But it wasn’t there.

Even as the gorgeous man sitting next to Jesper leaned against him, a flirty hand stroking his shoulder, the heart didn’t skip. It remained consistent, wholly unaffected by the flirty actions.

Shock and relief flooded Y/N’s body, washing away the doubt and fear that had lingered. Her hands dropped to her lap, quivering with nerves.

“Well?” Inej questioned, anxiously awaiting the answer.

“It didn’t skip.”

“I got you a little something,” Jesper chirped, stepping into Kaz’s office with a tray of cookies.

Sleepily, Y/N raised her head. She’d spent the entire evening pouring over blueprints, writing down an intricate list of entrances and exits. It was only one of the tasks regarding planning heists that Kaz would allow someone to do and even then, he always double checked.

Setting down her pen, she leaned back in her chair, rolling the shoulders that had grown tense from slouching over. Jesper stepped forward, laying the tray of intricately decorated cookies on the desk. The icing was messy, but it still made her smile - various shades of blue decorated with little black lines that she assumed were meant to be birds in flight.

“You are a lifesaver,” she practically groaned, taking a bite of one of the scrumptious cookies.

“Oh, I know,” Jesper arrogantly replied teasingly and stepped behind her, laying both of his palms over her shoulders.

With a confident grip, he carefully rubbed his thumbs into the muscle, searching out knots formed from built up stress. A warm sense of comfort spread through Y/N’s body as the rigidity in her muscles was worked away.

“Better?”

Y/N quickly nodded, trying to ignore the way her own heart did little dramatic flips in her chest. Jesper’s touch spread through her body like electricity, causing the breath in her throat to hitch.

She couldn’t take it any longer, couldn’t sustain her cool demeanor throughout all the flirting. She needed to know - to know now.

Without a second thought, she allowed the words she had once feared admitting roll off her tongue. “I love you.”

Immediately, Jesper’s hands froze as if they were a statue. Y/N didn’t dare to try to listen to his heart, horrified at what she might hear. What if it no longer skipped?

“You do?” Jesper questioned as he stepped away and into a spot by her side so he could peer down at her.

Y/N met his gaze, fearful and desperately trying to read his expression. The grin that was always on his face was now gone, replaced by a blank slate. Softly she nodded.

A wide, dazzling grin broke out across Jesper’s face as his eyes glinted with disbelief. “Holy shit, Kaz was right.”

“Kaz?” Y/N questioned, rising from her chair.

“He swore that you liked me.”

“Inej told me you liked me!”

Both of their jaws fell open, realization washing over them. Their friends had conspired. Jesper laughed heavily, placing both palms upon the desk to keep himself upright.

But Y/N was intensely serious, worry still flashing through her mind. “Do you… like me?”

Jesper’s laughter stopped as he stared back at her, gazing into her eyes that swirled with anxiety. “I thought it was obvious… I’m in love with you.”

“Well you sure have a way of showing it!” Y/N exclaimed, placing both of her hands on her hips. “Going around and flirting with other people.”

“I thought you didn’t like me! Not everyone has the privilege of playing with hearts.”

Immediately, her eyes grew wide, terrified that he knew she had listened. Glancing away, she shuffled through some of the papers next to her.

“You listened to my heart didn’t you?”

Jesper’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper, and carrying none of the resentment Y/N had braced herself for. Glancing up to meet his gaze, she merely answered with a tight nod.

Reaching forward, Jesper laced his fingers through hers and placed her palm against his chest, right over where his heart thumped erratically in its cage of ribs.

“Well then you know, my heart beats for you.”

Jesper taglist (be added here)

@ocean-calls-me @sagewrites111 @darlinggbrekker @subjecta13-thefangirl @thehighladyofday @crying-shame @dreamer-writer-fangirl @awritingtree @alone19-24 @sankta-skyqueen @black-kitten-imagines @importantsoulfire @reddeadrevolutionn @bxnnywatts @datrie @dyingduckling @mandos-crest @thegirlwiththeimpala @goldengoddess @vintagebitc @mylifeofcalculatedchaos @sixofshadowandbone @wanderlustingreader @cameronsails @itisroe @lawsandother @the-abyss-gazed-back

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