My hope is that one day we can look back on our life, our memories, and be able to say "we did it, we made it"|
OSDD system|Adult|
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Sorry for a lack of posts! Our Tumblr is very much not working properly on our phone .It keeps freezing, not letting us type or not keeping up, crashing, freezing our entire phone, etc.
This is a more recent thing and we've even cleared up some system memory by backing up files.
If anyone has any ideas on what we can do to try and get it to work properly, we're all ears. We have a Samsung A14 and we hate this phone so fucking much but can't get another one for a while.
We can't even edit our pinned post without Tumblr just deciding it's "too much" 😭
-🐰
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Honestly I think something really shitty about having trauma regarding people hurting you, is that it's possible to have this underlying paranoia that if you say ANYTHING about that person/those people anywhere on the Internet, they'll somehow see it or find it and come attacking you or spread lies about you or something. Legit don't know how people on Reddit give such obvious details about situations and somehow they don't get scared lol
This is something we've started to realize we definitely struggle with regardless of how anonymous we try to be or details we try to change or leave out.
It's not rational by any means, and we're aware of that. But if anyone else experienced this type of anxiety, understand that you're not alone and it's a battle for sure
#paranoia#sorry not sure what all to tag this#actually traumagenic#osdd#did#actuallydid#actuallyosdd#trauma#anxiety#tw
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yknow, ive noticed this interesting pattern of those people who talk about "accepting all mental illnesses, even the 'dirty' ones" taking any chance they get to dunk on dirty traits that are typically associated with males.
is there anyone on this planet that truly advocates for experiences theyll never go through? or are we all in this alone after all?
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Fuckin thank you. These are things we've wanted to express before on our blog but we weren't sure how to word it when we wanted to address it clearly/delicately as to not be misinterpreted.
- co-host/main protector
my hot take is that some littles/middles don't want to be treated like their age or feel like they cant participate in mature topics
most ive met want be treated according to their age, but ive met some littles/middles who are capable of 'adult' activities. alter age is complicated. treat littles/middles the way they want to be treated, and that includes respecting them if they choose to date (body age comes first), use substances, drive, engage in sexual acts, etc! it depends on the alter/system if they can consent to these things!
yeah! Alter age and alter maturity are very different! Some of our littles are sexual alters, they present as children but are much more mature and capable of consenting and acting "adult". It's important to keep in mind every system is different and alter age Vs alter maturity is very different. This is also important to keep in mind for adult alters, as if the adult alter is older than the body they likely won't be as mature as an actual adult, as alters are limited by what the brain knows and can't really be more mature than the brain itself!
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Important. This is one of the reasons we are more vague with information about us. We don't use our names or the body's name, we don't use our exact age. We don't list the ages of any alter, and we won't allow many alters to state their role(s) either.
Because we as systems have Endured Shit (TM), just saying we have OSDID tells people a lot. So just be careful. If you're extremely triggered by something, be very careful because it's not uncommon for assholes to use it.
And should you decide to be less vague (informed risk you know?) that's great but please please please keep much more vulnerable parts/alters/head mates safe to the best of your ability. Not saying prevent them from using your system blog, but healthy boundaries and rules can be important.
-co-host/main protector
hey systems I would advise you to keep a certain number of things out of your bio because OSDDID inherently says a lot about your past and triggers so there are certain details only your close friends should know, and not just anyone perusing the internet
your age - predators are more than happy to fake their age to match yours. Being young and plural are unfortunately traits prone to manipulation
your headcount - aside from assholes fakeclaiming you, people can take it and use it against you.
who your trauma holders are, and, more generally, the roles of your alters. it's basically telling abusers who to target and who to avoid
any information about your littles whatsoever. For all the world knows, you have none. same with who age regresses.
any system descriptors beyond DID/OSDD1/PDID/etc. the internet does not need to know if you have complex DID or something like that; it's your trauma.
what your triggers are. people will try to trigger you on purpose. this includes front triggers
all your other disorders, particularly personality disorders - abusers can try to make you dependent, "favorite" them, avoid others, etc.
These aren't rules, and there are obviously different situations that call for different levels of privacy. Just use your judgment: who can see this? anyone who came across my blog or people I friended on simply plural? trusted friends on simply plural? Systems are very vulnerable to further abuse because of their fragmentation and trauma mindsets. Don't let anyone take advantage of that.
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You know something is not okay in your mind when you age regress... When you're not even an age regressor
-co-host/main protector
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Fun little activity for us OSDID losers:
I'm sure many of us have experienced how strange it can be when two or more alters fronting blend. Sometimes it may even seem like the combined blended mess of us can take on a new combined personality.
So our idea was: draw what you think two or more alters blended together would look like. Even if they haven't blended before, just have fun.
We love to draw ourselves since it's the only real way we can express ourselves. Dressing how we want only does so much. So have at it if you like the idea.
Can't draw but want to participate anyways? Use picrew or some sort of other character creator. Have fun. Take a break from the bad shit in life for a few minutes.
-co-host/main protector
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Me: I need coping mechanism
Brain: We have coping mechanism at home
Coping mechanism at home: pk;m new
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Heres a reminder for you that being dissociated isn't limited to the common misconception where you are frozen in place, incapable of doing anything or even thinking, or experiencing a significant time gap,, those things. (This is a very important post, read till bottom so im happy!)
And while its hard to spot the milder signs when you're dissociating, don't worry i got you covered by bringing awareness, im showing what those signs could look like:
Dazing/blanking out several times
Hands looking weird (depersonalization)
Surroundings also looking weird (derealization)
Feeling detached emotionally, physically, or both
Light-headedness
Less reactive in responding
Forget things more often
Unable to focus or keep concentration straight
And many more..!
When you have multiple of those signs at once, then chances are you are dissociating (extra note that it can also co-occur with derealization/depersonalization). While it can be caused by various factors, i would like to add that it may or may not get worse as time passes and no one wants that thing to snowball until it got too bad (remember, preventing now is better than dealing later) so having a few tips would help:
Grounding (sensory): listening to music, feeling different textures, paying attention to things in your surroundings, trying different fragrant or scents, have some snacks to occupy your senses
Grounding (physically): feel your chest as you breathe, get your body moving to redirect focus, splash some cold water, hold something you can squeeze (such as a stress ball)
Practice being mindful. As it can help you re-anchor back to reality faster, regulate better, building more resilience, increasing awareness of oneself's state
Sometimes we go do our day without giving a thought that were detached from reality, usually by going autopilot and scrolling through social medias without being aware (well, atleast for me) and forget lots of things while being dysregulated at the end. So by being aware of the mild signs and incorporating grounding skills im sure memory gaps and those funny aftermath stuffs won't be a problem anymore, have a good day peeps.
EDIT: I forgot to mention that another sign is your hearing feels muffled, that you can hear sounds feel more distant despite close, i thought it could be grouped with the “less reactive” before.
EDIT 2: It is true that sometimes these techniques will not work,, so it's recommended to create a peaceful environment in hopes of going away sooner when waiting it out. grab some videos to watch, put some of your favorite musics or cuddle your soft pillows (if any, pets) and stay comfy! Do not stress about it because it'll be counterproductive. Full explanation at here.
- j
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worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean
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You've.. actually seen this? JFC 💀
Yeah pretty sure child us didn't have the ability to look into the future and see that a show we can't even watch due to multiple triggers would be created and therefore we needed a demon alter...who started showing his presence more obviously (in hindsight ofc) when we were 11. Makes sense 10000/10
-🧛
If I see another post on any platform about how religious/demon/Angel alters and heaven/hell parts of headspace only exist because of Hazbin Hotel I will LOSE IT
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That's so wild. How is one supposed to even exist if the system has alters of a ton of different genders? Just become a blob? Sounds nice to me lmao
I'm a genderqueer alter that is androgynous internally in a transmasc system but with different genitals than the body. I do not like facial hair or body hair, I don't like that our hair is short but spoiler alert, I'm not the only bitch in this brain and it doesn't even bother me enough to make a difference??
Even our cis alters embrace our overall trans label lol. They're still cis
-🧛
plural culture is not being able to have our identity respected because what about the cis alters?????while they don't front and most of our alters are trans or the gender we're transitioning to
.
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There’s power in telling yourself ”no we don’t do that anymore” in response to self destructive urges.
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Yesss. We don't have any traditional introjects (a few "inspired" alters if you will), but connecting to ones source and/or faux/source memories is not inherently bad or counterproductive. The idea that one has to completely 100% divorce themself from all of that is wild, and is something that should be a personal choice should one want to.
We have at least one alter, who isn't an introject at all, but has her own faux memories of essentially a "past life", which is how it feels. She knows they're not real, she knows she's an alter, she knows we're a system. But to her, they feel real. They have real impacts on her and she feels connected to them. She's allowed to have a connection to those memories without it meaning she's "living in a fantasy".
And let's also be okay with understanding that sometimes alters can have a hard time dealing with these things healthily, especially if they're newer formed alters. Give yourself grace for not being perfect, nobody is perfect. Take the time you need to become healthier. Healing isn't linear, existing is complicated AF. Figuring out how to balance multiple complicated feelings is a learning process, and many alters, introject or not, have to deal with that learning process too~
-🧛
idk where this rumor ive seen started but if you're an osdd/did system and have introjects that identify as only their source and vibe w that while still understanding they're in a system then you're a functional system. you're allowed to search for other alters from that source to find friends. you don't have to give up your source to be "healthy" and it's not delusional. source identity is not a delusion. it's just part of an alter. you're normal and healthy if you're an introject connected to your source and it's not avoiding recovery to accept yourself and how you feel . also don't @ me im not in debate club you guys just need to let ppl heal and exist happily . maybe that's true recovery huh . this ones for the poor fools suffering in echo chambers. RUNNNN. i love you all runnnnnnnn!!!!!!!
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Something I’ve noticed and I’m 100% certain I am not the first person to say this but I’m going to say it anyway, systems can never do anything ‘right.’
You know things about your alters? Faking
You know nothing about your alters? Faking
Your a covert system? Faking
Your not a covert system? Faking
You talk about being a system? Faking
You don’t talk about it? Faking
in conclusion to this there appears to be nothing systems can do to appease singlets and other systems so fuck their opinion.
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