messyo5
ezzy!
hey hey, my own personal shityard diary, she/her, art is cool, be nice, have a good day :)
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I always like it when they look at me like a deer in headlights when I kiss them. I would never have it any other way.
Eyes blown wide
Lips parted just so
A kind of awareness and yet a fear of what you just can't bring yourself to notice yet
I like it when they look at me like this because maybe it means I've found someone just as terrified as me
Just as afraid of the affection rolling at me at a rate and force I don't know how to receive, but I can't bring myself to run from it
Just let it kill me already
Deer in headlights. Give me love. Give me death. I'm doomed either way, loneliness or loved.
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There is nothing like taking the cotton swab out of my vagina after a long day of girling and free bleeding over the toilet like the ugly woman I am.
#this is not self loathing but in fact just what i feel like#ugly not negative just like ugh i feel gross yk?#period#i wanna cry everything hurts my coochie is out to get me#bethany is upset i didnt have kids this month
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wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry
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On the natural art of apologies;
I know the makings of a storm by the trees and their bow. The way the dogwood blooms flatten to their leafy skirts like it will prevent them from bruising. The tree's reaching tendrils droop and the azaleas kneel to the winds and clouds brewing. I know that bend too. The way you brace for impact, making yourself small. Putting the blame upon yourself. Taking the pregnant painful pressurized premature punishing silence with open waiting palms. The act of apology is a dramatic art. Sometimes a show, sometimes a labor of love, always you take a bow, its only natural.
#brainshits#poetry#rambles#self sabatoge#spilled ink#apology#i also have mild mommy and daddy issues!
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Half of the best part is being handled so softly. So gently. When given the option for violent loving. Do not confuse violence with passion. To love wrecklessly and indulgently is easy, flattering, pleasurable from the pain because of this. But it takes presence of mind and care to slow the passage of this tide. To deliberately love with such consciousness and purpose is a show of faith and patience and desire like none other.
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Hey kids, I'm reading Nevernight for the first time, LOVING IT, and these are some of my first impressions for chapters 1-5:
I absolutely love the way shes described, fr said "She's lowk emo, short, and ugly as hell but she's a pistol"
"If her face was a puzzle, most would put it back in the box unfinished." Is on the same page she's getting roasted but yk it's such a line that I feel speaks to me to how a lot of people feel about themselves, idk I think it slaps
"Not a beauty that lovers would die for, armies would march for, heroes might slay a God or daemon for. All in contrast to what you've been told by your poets, I'm sure. But she wasn't without her charm, gentlefriends. And all your poets are full of shit." - pg 9 literally what I'm saying "She look kinda odd but she's got personality I prommy"
In all complete honesty I like how particularly with how the book started with a sex scene right off the bat, it is made perfectly clear that SHE IS NOT DELICATE, PRETTY, OR POETICALLY ATTRACTIVE. Which is such an odd thing to appreciate but I'm just so tired of seeing so many books where fem protagonists are the subtly borderline MPDG mix of delicate sexy innocent and badass Mary Sue. Thank you so much Kristoff good move, keep it up, I really am glad that was written in because I feel like despite the fact we see sex and losing virginity as a parallel to death and killing for the first time (gorgeous gorgeous right up my alley) people will still manage to find a way to sexualize and idealize the mc because of its presence (despite the fact that it was literally so fucking painfully obvious, Pettit Mort and everything, but yk we Live In A Society).
"Its truth to say in all save solitude- and in some sad cases, even then- you can always count on the company of fools." -pg 18
Literally these footnotes give me life "You're a pretty thing*" "*A poet this one, and no mistake*" -pg 19
Tric is so babygirl from the moment I met him I think I decided I love him he's just so babygirl so so babygirl I love him must be protected at all costs
"A burst of profanity so colorful you could fling it into the air and call it a rainbow" -pg 48. In this house we forever stan characters that cuss like sailors, if it's not R just because of the language then I don't want it
The whole Cunt vs Cock dialogue just makes me love Mia so so so much like yes girl you're so right I agree with everything. And you are so Cunty!!! Cunt it up in here girl!! I don't blame Tric for falling head over heels at all me too! Too cunt to not fall!
#nevernight#mia corvere#tric#mia nevernight#tric nevernight#first reaction#aaaaaaaaaaa i want both of them
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Valentine’s Day is barely for couples it is most importantly for elementary schoolers to exchange candy and for thematic fanart and fandom events.
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"I don't need the collar, I choose to be by my human's side! This dumbass glorified sheep on the other hand-"
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woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:
vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)
which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.
luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.
why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.
vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.
then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.
which then require months of further specialized treatment.
the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage
vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.
the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!
it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!
which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s
Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.
today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar
if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!
in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!
(src)
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The feminine urge to walk up to someone complaining about how old their shoes are (they have minimal scuffs on them) and pop my right foot up on that table and show them what a real worn out shoe looks like
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" take me to an art museum; ........ kiss me between the paintings. "
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"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?
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this 🙄 is the real horniest femme emoji nothing has ever more accurately communicated "you're horrible at flirting and yet, its working"
#god i love tumblr#this is just me with anyone#too real too real#no bc im literally rolling my eyes looking at the text that was just sent to me or that im about to send so i need to express that for#entirely selfish flirtatious reasons
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