“that’s not accurate to the comics!!” I couldn’t care less, these r my dolls and I will do whatever I want to them, i’m playing house goddamnit!! lemme live in my delusions!! It’s called feeding ur inner child!!!

Tim, suddenlly looking up: Oh My God Dick: What? are you okay? What happened? Tim: I just realized why Jason keeps making jokes about how he died Jason: Yeah, because I died. It was a fairly big thing Tim: No, it's because nothing else happened when you were Robin Jason: What Tim: Dick's the original Robin and the first sidekick, not to mention Discowing, so he has a lot to joke about- Dick: Hey! Discowing was cool Tim: No it was not. Neither was Ric without a k. Never be anything but Nightwing Dick: Aw, you like it when I'm myself Tim: No, I'm less tramatized when you're yourself. Anyway, Steph started a gang war, Demon Brat died and came back to life and is still Robin, Duke's not Robin but he started We Are Robin and jumped out of a police car before being a vigilante and I have my own things that we don't need to discus- Dick: Saved the world in a intergalatic baseball game- Jason: Hid the purchase of your own batmoblie in the batarang expenses- Dick: Sunk around and took photos of vigilante at the age of 9- Tim: THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS! Back to what I was saying, Jason's the boring robin Jason: Rude- Tim: You were the good robin, the little crazy shit you did like steal the tires off the batmobile were kinda overshadowed by the fact that you like Jane Austen and you been red hood is because you died so everything you've done since then still has to do with the one thing that happened to you as Robin Dick: Oh My God. You said you were sticking to the same joke over and over again so it would have the same effect, but really you have nothing else to make jokes about Tim: Exactly! Jason: We really don't have to talk about this- Tim: I need to go tell Steph immediately Dick: I need to go tell everyone immediately

Bruce hates when Jason says something like "you are not my real father" because a) it does hurt b) when Alfred tries to comfort him, he reminds Bruce about the times he said the same thing to Alfred himself but didn't mean it, and Bruce wants to sink into the ground.

oracle, ban this guy

(some shitpost while i work on that bernard comic)

”You don't need to say anything.”

sorry, long post but hear me out: the core four batboys (+bruce) and makeup!

its not out of the question to assume that each of the batboys at some point have had to go under cover— whether it be as a woman, child, a prostitute, etc.— and that means they’ve probably had to pull out some makeup to finish the look. it’s also no surprise that bruises and scrapes happen all the time on patrol and obviously they can’t get someone else to cover it for them— that would lead to too many questions. so, as mandated by bruce, they are all well versed in the art of makeup:

bruce is the most well rounded skill wise. you name it? he can do it. you need a bruise cover up? impeccable. you need eyeliner? that man had one hell of a punk phase 20 years ago, he has you covered. he can do everything, but he doesn’t really specialize in one particular area. he trained himself to be able to do it all very quickly and very efficiently.

dick on the other hand, while able to do everything that is needed, specializes in the art of dewy type makeup that makes you look soft and innocent— the kinda tabloids go crazy for and the kind that distracts cameras, interviewers, or potential suspects from noticing any hastily covered bruises or scrapes. the makeup also adds to the somewhat eligible bachelor persona he puts out to the press. he’s practically a celebrity icon for the looks he pulls at galas, and the people of gotham go crazy for it. there’s entire youtube channels dedicated to recreating his gala looks.

jason, self-perceived to be in dick’s shadow as a kid, does the exact opposite of what his big brother does. where dick’s look are soft and glowy, jason’s are sharp and announced. his look is reminiscent of the most beautiful statues, and, to his pleasure, makes him all the more unattainable and unapproachable in the eyes of the press. his eyeliner could skewer a man without doubt. nowadays, he doesn’t do it often, no point when you’re legally dead. however he can do it if he has to and he will look better than you.

tim is a little different. he doesn’t do looks necessarily so much as he changes his looks. the man is practically a shapeshifter with the kind of concealing he can pull off. he can stay up for 48 hours, have the eyes of a raccoon, eating habits of a bird, half starved, sleep deprived, corpse-ish looking, go into the bathroom for 20 mins and come out looking like gothams next prince and americas next top model, alive with a glow that makes him seem healthier than he could ever hope to be at one time. his skin is unnaturally healthy. the batfam doesn’t know how he does it and quite frankly, they’re too afraid to ask.

damian is another story. while it starts out as wanting to be as capable (possibly even more so) as his brothers, he learns that similar to sketching and painting, makeup is another art form to express himself with. he doesn’t share it with many, mostly only ever allowing his eldest brother to see, but the kid can do graphic liners like nobody’s business. his looks are actual paintings on a human face, and he takes pride in it, even if only a few select people see it. one day, he will build up the confidence to show it to more people, maybe even wear it out in public. but for now, he’s content with gaining his confidence in the solace of his room in front of a mirror improving his skill with each look he does.

i just think this is a fun, unserious idea. i like the idea of them helping each other get ready, each playing to their strengths! also just the dynamic of brothers yk? like dick doing his makeup and jason walking by and glancing at him just to like quirk an eyebrow and say “you’re eyeliner’s uneven.” or something and walk away with dick cursing behind him, even if it’s perfectly even. or tim one day looking for where he set down his laptop or sm and catching damian in the middle of doing a super impressive look by accident and right before damian can start to snark at him or defend himself, tim just gives him a once over, nods, and says without any hint of sarcasm, “looks good, gremlin.” and turns around walking out. damian won’t admit it but it does give him the boost of confidence he needs to try some more extravagant looks.

anyways brothers being brothers and being silly and goofy. i just want them to be happy! idk enough about the others just yet to do them justice on this, but i may come back to it when i do, possibly fleshing out the rest of the batfam!

being in the batfamily fandom on ao3 means double and triple checking that it’s a & and not a /

ATE

if any of yall doubt this when i was a kid my cousin (raised like sisters) once kicked my four front teeth out (two on the top and two on the bottom) and after that we watched how its made in the living room for the rest of the night with no grudges held so yeah what’s a few broken bones between siblings

The way Jason keeps insulting Tim but still consider him his brother.

Ouch.

nightwing being hurt in the field, and over comms he can’t get out what was wrong, nearly in shock, and jason puts on his best batman™️ voice and says “robin, report.”

and it snaps dick out of it enough to say concussion, possible broken ribs, and a gash in his side.

no one talks about it, and then a year later, damian does the same thing to tim

Tim reminding Jason that people care about him and that he's far from a failure:

And then Jason also reminding Tim all his strengths as Robin:

They are brothers, your honor!!

I think it’s funny if Tim did tell his siblings that he lost his spleen but they didn’t take him seriously until Bruce finds out and flips shit about it. Then they all just collectively decide that they’re going to gaslight Tim into thinking that he never told them so they don’t get in trouble for also never mentioning it to Bruce.

a lil timkon sketch

the day i draw tim drake actually sleeping, assume I'm being mind controlled.

Duke, Jason, Damian and Cass who only knew Kon and Tim during their "I would burn down the world for you" era asking the rest of the family how Tim missed their obvious chemistry, how he's been oblivious to the person he's been in love with since the day they met.

Steph, Dick, Bruce, Alfred and Babs, who all got a taste of their initial Young Justice years where Tim was one second away from framing Kon for murder, just exchange amused looks.

they're absolutely nasty, i don't take criticism

Finally I can share this! A mini comic made as part of a Timber fan anthology. Hope you guys like it!