✨️ think I created a monster

Getting prescribed some meds. Side effects include, loss of appetite and anorexia. (No joke)

Me :

I need someone to keep me from eating throughout the day. Please god.

Doing a 14 day detox.

I'm back to 183lbs. Christmas sent me over the edge and I've kind of been spiraling ever since. Back to drinking and binging. I had an early birthday dinner with some of my family and was told that they can tell by my bloated, red face that I've gone back to drinking. As they were downing drinks themselves.

I will continue to drink until my last bottle is empty and then I was go back to never eating.

I'm back...

I don't even want to know what my weight is at this point. I binged so badly this past week so I'm about 90% sure I gained all of my weight back.

God I hate the holidays.

This past week has been hell. I lost control. I had absolutely, zero, control.

I've gained everything back.

Have yet to lose weight. I’m stuck at 160lbs.

I’m debating if I should just allow myself to “enjoy” this holiday and try not to think about all the calories I will be consuming.

At the same time the ana in me is internally screaming.

Couldn’t do gym today because of how sick I feel.

I managed to run around a do a lot of errands in place of cardio though.

Total calorie intake: 35

Period

Started my period today, ZERO sleep last night.

This mornings weight -2lbs

Noticing

So my boyfriend ha started to notice that I’ve been skipping dinner and fasting every other day.

He doesn’t mind if I eat very little but as long as I eat something. So I just lie and say I ate earlier but he’s still suspicious.

1 more lb down today.

44 more to go.

I forced myself to eat half of my salad today. So it’s probably about 50-60 calories intake in the last couple days.

I just don’t feel the need to eat anymore

45 more lbs to go before I hit my goal weight.

🖤

Pure perfection❤️😍