likesandoffyourback - Tumblr blog

likesandoffyourback · 8 days

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its hard for some deeply traumatized people to love children. the explanation is simple: we weren’t show love and compassion in our young years, so even fathoming having to go through that labor with our own child (or any other child) is terrifying.

the phrase “i hate children” is deeply mocked and villainized. its considered a joke by “immature teenagers” who “need to grow up.” thats not always the case. in fact, many of us had to take care of young siblings, or are at least very grown up from our experiences.

raising a child is one of the most taxing things a human being can do. you are judged endlessly for how you do it. and considering this, why would someone who was treated like a worthless animal by their own parents ever want to go through the trouble? waking up ten times a night to tend to them when your parents left you terrified in your bed. dealing with them screeching/trantruming when you already had to parents your parents from age six. being required to stomach thousands of criticisms or you’re a “bad parent” when you’ve already been a puppet of others whims your whole life. for some of us, this is our worst nightmare.

some traumatized people will break the abuse cycle by raising their children better. some will break it by not having any children at all. either way, we don’t owe anyone a hallmark ending where we give up the lives we fought tooth and nail for.

#trauma #vent #child abuse #mental health #analysis #vent post #as long as you treat children decently youre fine #you dont have to love or befriend them #its your right to hate them even #what are you gonna do o’brien from 1984 #arrest me for thought crime?

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likesandoffyourback · 3 months

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Friendly (or unfriendly if you're against this) reminder that this blog is supportive of ALL disorders. This blog does not think ANY disorder inherently makes someone a bad person, and is against any disorder being demonized. This blog wholeheartedly believes that a bad person having a disorder, yes, even if things that are also symptoms of their disorder are part of what caused harm, does not make the disorder a "bad" or "evil" disorder or excuse ableism and demonization directed towards the disorder.

Yes this includes personality disorders

Including npd and aspd

Yes this includes all psychotic disorders & disorders that cause psychotic symptoms

Yes this includes paraphilic disorders. All of them.

Yes this includes disorders that cause, or are even characterized by, attention seeking

Yes this includes disorders that directly have lying as a common symptom

Yes this includes dissociative disorders

Yes this includes any disorder with "gross" symptoms

Yes this includes physical disorders too

Yes this includes disorders that can cause loss of control of any kind- control of speech, control of body movement, etc.

Yes tis includes disorders that make someone "look scary"

This goes for literally any fucking disorder. There are not exceptions.

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likesandoffyourback · 3 months

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this is a personal vent.

Cw: venting.

feel like this needs to be said:

you are not a bad person for forgetting boundaries

you are not a bad person for not understanding boundaries

you are not a bad person if you a victim to slandering

you are not a bad person if someone hasn't communicated with you

you're not a bad person if you've been set up

too many people in this community are victim to people not communicating and spreading misinformation about them, and just plain slandering them.

someone's anxiety to not be able to tell you their boundaries should not be your problem. especially if they don't communicate if you're making them uncomfortable.

if someone has an issues with boundaries, they should bring up enough courage to say something, even if it is scary. people tend to make the person who got their boundaries broke the innocent deer in headlights, while the person who broke their boundaries is worse than satan himself.

but what most people don't understand is that it's usually an accident on the other side. they break boundaries not knowing that the person is uncomfortable with that certain thing, and the person acts as if they're comfortable with it.

at that point, it's almost as if that person is setting the other one up for failure, especially by not communicating. so who's the real bad guy here?

it's on both sides, either side has shit they need to work out, the party who can't communicate having more to work out than the other side.

also, if it's not your issue, stay out of it? there's no reason for you to send 5 different people to attack the party that broke boundaries? and for the love of god, dont post something public about them to humiliate and slander them.

that's just childish and immature, and illegal and at that point the side who got their boundaries broken is in the wrong at that point.

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likesandoffyourback · 3 months

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i’m not a full on misanthropist, but i do believe in misanthropy to a degree. i dont agree with tumblrs “human beings sometimes do endearing things so misanthropes can go fuck themselves” sentiment. i also dont agree with the people who use their pessimism as a weapon to not care and not be kind.

in fact, id go as far as to say that this anti-misanthropy mindset is a problem in itself, just as dangerous as misanthropy in its own way. it perpetrates this idea that every misanthrope is just an edgy, whiny baby who needs to read your anecdotes of humans being uwu so cute and they’lll rescind their emo ways…when, in reality, a lot of people who deal with misanthropic thoughts have gone through horrifically traumatic events.

i mean, i hate doing anything resembling a call out but i remember some examples ive read. is a person who was brutally bullied their entire childhood supposed to get over themselves because…you saw children mourning a bee with flowers? and this post literally said “misanthropes can go to hell.” follow your own advice if you’re going to be so childish and ignorant.

a lot of this stuff is about a balance. we can recognize that humans can fucking suck and also that they can be great. but somehow a fair amount of people on this site have convinced themselves that they’re better people for sticking their fingers in their ears and going lalalalallala when someone expresses a dislike for humanity, as if that doesn’t just make them another ignorant asshole on the internet.

#misanthropy #analysis #opinion #humanism #uwu sorry tumblr #i didnt realize my feelings were invalid #because children make bowls out of clay sometimes #be for real

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likesandoffyourback · 3 months

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tw: sexism, child abuse

living with a father figure who loves you but doesnt quite see you as human because you’re a woman.

always the butt of a joke whenever you do something “girly”. you walk on egg shells to not accidentally seem feminine. it includes feelings, naturally. you never want to cry in front of him in case he suddenly switched from comforting to mocking (because he loves you, but not enough to shut his mouth).

“i’ll have a gun with her boyfriends name on it” he tells people in public. he rants and raves about how he’ll protect you like your his prized object. the idea of having a partner, god forbid a boyfriend, becomes so daunting, even viscerally disgusting (because you love your father figure, and unconsciously you, too, worry that something of yourself will be ruined by a man).

fantasies about being a boy even if you aren’t transgender, because maybe then he’d treat you normal. like a person. not like a potential embarrassment. not like a possession he needs to keep untouched.

#misogny #sexism #daddy issues #vent #child abuse #analysis

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likesandoffyourback · 3 months

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its okay if people showing their love to you with gestures isn't good enough. its okay to require words of affirmation and direct communication. its okay to break up with someone if they're not capable of saying "i love you", no matter how genuine their reasons are, because you deserve to be loved in a way that fufils you.

there's nothing wrong with romanticizing romantic gestures, but there's also nothing wrong with not being satisfied by them.

#love #romance #love languages #self love #insert he said he loved me in a million other ways trope #which is cool but #sorry not good enough for me

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likesandoffyourback · 3 months

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currently listening to undertale music because im not quite strong enough to listen to myself lol

Quiet

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likesandoffyourback · 3 months

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pfp art by sleepycorvid. background art by albert bierstadt.

this account is an online journal. i will be sharing hard aspects of my life, mainly being child abuse, childhood sexual abuse, bullying + isolation, and mental illnesses (anxiety and ocd). along with this, i will talk about psychological concepts and other strong feelings.

i will use trigger warnings at the top of my posts. if you follow my acc, expect to come across potentially highly triggering posts. i do not use terms like “unalive” or “sa”. part of my healing is recognizing the reality of what has happened to me, and using these terms are not beneficial to my recovery.

i could keep this all private, but my main hope is that other people who have gone through things that are “too bad to be true” will see this and realize that they are not alone.

asks are open. feel free to ask me questions about my experiences, but assume i do not want to answer it if its left unanswered indefinitely. while im not a professional, im happy to give advice as my experiences do give me a certain level of knowledge/wisdom.

you can dm me, but be aware that i am highly asocial and likely cannot be consistent with responses.

do NOT question the authenticity of my experiences. it is not my job to prove to you that my trauma is real. you will be blocked.

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