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jihanbang · 2 months

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this is way too good :(((

Bang Chan x m!reader

‘Life Without You’ - Part 2 of ?

anon request - Part 1 **

summary: M!reader and Chan share a connection in their teen years, though a difference in goals and family disapproval cuts their time short. Years later, someone attempts to pick up the pieces they both had left behind.

( part 2, adult & idol chan, adult & non-idol reader, right one-wrong time trope. mentions touchy, persistent, stalker-ish, & avoidant behavior )

emoji code:

🌿 ( long story & series - 9k words wtf )

🧸 ( eventual fluff )

🫧 ( super light angst )

☁️ ( y/n )

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Milan, Italy was immersed in history and rich culture. Walking alone through the park of a foreign country, ☁️ watched as the trees swayed alongside the stone path in which he walked. The sky was an inky purple, with a few dark clouds floating above. Tall lampposts illuminated the puddles around ☁️, his black dress shoes tapping as he walked toward his destination.

☁️ pinned his black tie down as he felt the wind brush against his white button up. He wore black pants and a black leather jacket- which he was gifted from his boss on their first day of the retreat.

The company ☁️ worked under “invited” a few of their employees on a short vacation to Italy. In reality, the company needed representatives to discuss something with their Italian branch. ☁️ didn’t understand what he was there for, his boss simply stating that his advice was valuable, and that the team needed moral support. He didn’t mind, though, as it was a much-needed break.

☁️ rolled his eyes at the thought of his boss as he finally reached the end of the park walkway. He stepped onto the sidewalk, waiting for the cars to pass before he could walk across the street. ☁️ and the boss’s team were meeting the Italian branch’s representative team at a luxurious restaurant nearby.

☁️ silently prayed to himself as he stopped in front of the large glass doors, sighing.

He was caught off guard as a boy in a suit, who seemed to be in his early 20s, opened the door. He motioned him to step inside.

“Salve, signore. Per favore, entrate.”

☁️ smiled warmly to him, assuming that he was working there.

“Grazie, signore.” ☁️ responded, which was the extent of his Italian skills.

☁️ walked down a small hallway with paintings framed along its walls. The hallway was dim, the only light coming from the spotlights on the ground and the room a few feet away.

☁️ looked around as he stepped into that room, it bustling with people. The ceiling was a shining shade of black with black carpeting. The walls were blue with neon signs illuminating each corner of the room. ☁️ turned to his right, catching the gaze of a girl behind a small desk. Assuming she was the host, he approached her.

“Salve, posso avere il nome della vostra prenotazione?” She spoke loudly, as the voices and music around them were almost deafening.

“No Italiano.” ☁️ basically yelled back in response, him creasing his eyebrows as he felt bad for not being able to communicate.

“Ah.. your name?” The girl felt a bit awkward as well.

As ☁️ was about to respond, he saw his boss approach the desk, waving nonchalantly. His boss wore a crimson-colored suit with a black turtle neck under it. His skin was a bit wrinkled, but you could only tell when up close. The boss’s hair was black with a tint of gray, and slicked back with what seemed like a lot of gel.

☁️ turned back to the girl, pointing at the man walking towards them. She simply nodded, smiling to the male as he yelled a ‘Grazie’ to her. ☁️ pulled his hand out from his side to shake the boss’s hand, but the boss put an arm around the male’s shoulder.

“Most of us are already sitting, come join.”

☁️ could tell he was already drinking alcohol, but couldn’t blame him. He turned his head to whisper into the boss’s ear.

“You should probably lay off the alcohol sir.”

“If you think I’m bad, you should see one of the Italians right now.” He let go of ☁️’s shoulder as they approached the large booth lined with black leather. Around the circular table, nine people sat, only three of them ☁️ recognizing. As the group locked their eyes on him, he put on a flashy smile and began waving to everyone. They all said their hellos, then turning to each other to talk amongst themselves.

☁️ sat next to his boss on the very edge of the seat, his boss intentionally or unintentionally brushing his leg against ☁️’s. Everyone spoke over each other as they all conversed, though ☁️ looked around the restaurant, choosing to people watch rather than participate.

A few minutes passed before their waiter arrived, a tall but younger man. He was attractive, the two catching each other’s glimpses almost immediately.

Ordering a salad, ☁️ watched as everyone placed their orders. As the waiter took his leave, the boss turned to ☁️.

“I’m paying for everything, so order whatever you’d like.”

☁️ turned his head as well. “Thank you, but I had a pretty big lunch.”

“Alright, watch out, though. I’m gonna use the bathroom.”

☁️ slide out of the boot and stood aside for his boss.

☁️ continued to watch the people around him, seeing his boss walk down the staircase behind a man in black. When the boss was a few feet away, ☁️ stood up again, allowing him to sit back down. After ☁️ sat, as well, he watched a pair of two younger girls, maybe in their late teens, walk up to that man in black as he was about to sit with his group. One girl was short and slightly stocky, wearing black pants and a white blouse. The other was tall and thin, wearing a long magenta dress. They looked very awkward, though they conversed with the men for a minute or two. The man sat in ☁️’s direction, taking both of the girls’ phones and signing the back of them. Though his face was far away, ☁️ noticed the man’s straight black hair and slanted eyes, him also with a well defined jawline. The man in black handed the phone back to the girls as they thanked him, giggled to themselves on their way back to their seats.

☁️ assumed that the man was famous, choosing to watch another group of people to pass the time.

After a minute of watching a man complain about his food, him received a tap on the shoulder. His boss looked down at him, then to the table where the famous person. ☁️ followed his gaze, catching the death stare that this man was giving him from around 20 feet away.

“Do you know him? Because he seems to know you.” ☁️’s boss said plainly. Trying to figure out who he was, ☁️ looked away after a few seconds.

“Not sure that I do.”

“Why don’t you go talk to ‘em?” His boss nudged him to go over, but ☁️ shook his head.

“No, no, no. Please, it’s fine. He’s probably just daydreaming or something.”

☁️’s boss was going to argue, but one of the Italian company members tapped a fork on his glasses. Raising it into the air, he got the tables attention.

The group finally began discussing the company’s activities and possible issues, though ☁️ only paid attention half of the time. He was surprised that the conversation was flowing so smoothly despite the language barrier.

From what ☁️ understood, the Italian branch was looking to expand to more locations, needing funding from ☁️’s location, the headquarters, to do so. After a while of talking, the waiter brought a few people’s food out alongside two or three other servers. Before he left, he handed ☁️ a very small, folded piece of paper. The server didn’t look at ☁️, making his handoff discreet before walking away as though nothing happened.

☁️ placed the small piece of paper under the table and opened it, the note in neat English.

‘Meet me in the upstairs bathroom.’

☁️ assumed that someone was hitting on him. Rolling his eyes, he crumbled the small note up and threw it into his pocket. He looked over to his boss, who was looking down at his pants.

“What was that?”

“Secret Admirer.”

“Who?”

“Did you miss the ‘secret’ part? It’s anonymous.”

The boss nodded in understanding, taking ☁️’s words as a ‘mind your business.’ ☁️ decided not to do what the note instructed. Instead, he glanced around the room to see if anybody was looking at him, attempting to spot the person who wrote the note. He watched his server approach the table where the supposed famous man was sitting, the two conversing. He watched as the man slipped the server another note, the three locking eyes as he did so. ☁️ felt embarrassment swallow his body, looking away almost immediately.

He kept his gaze on one of the Italian company members as the server approached him with his salad. He placed the bowl down, slipping another note under it. The boy furrowed his eyebrows, feeling awkward as he leaned down to whisper to ☁️.

“He’s very insistent, sir.”

The server hurried away as two other servers brought out the rest of the group’s food. ☁️ chose not to care about the famous guy’s ’insistence,’ instead focusing on the salad he just ordered.

☁️ finished his bowl quickly as his group continued eating. He grabbed his water glass, sipping out of it as he decided to people watch for the remainder of the night. He watched as the famous guy’s group stood up, seemingly preparing to leave. This relieved ☁️, who wouldn’t have to receive any more odd notes.

☁️ realized that he hasn’t read the note under his bowl. Discreetly, he lifted the bowl, grabbed the paper, and placed it on his lap under the table. He opened it slowly.

‘We went to high school together. I just wanted to say hi.’

☁️ grimaced at the paper, thinking of who from high school could possibly be famous, and in Italy at the same time as him. His curiosity got the best of him as he looked over to the group of men, his heart dropping as they all walked towards the exit. One of them departed from the others as they walked through that hallway, the man just standing at the host desk and turning his gaze onto ☁️. The famous man stayed behind, ☁️ noticing him in almost entirely black- dark grey jeans, a black hoodie, black mask, and black shoes. When the man noticed that he caught ☁️’s gaze, he slowly walked over to the staircase beside the bar. Trudging up, he occasionally turned around to lock eyes with ☁️.

“I’m going to use the bathroom.” ☁️ whispered to his boss, before heading over to the steps. He passed the host stand, and then the bar, walking up the black staircase lined with dark blue carpeting.

As he reached the top of the staircase, he stared at the man who stood next to the bathroom doors. ☁️ looked around, making sure nobody was near them.

“Who are you?”

The man pulled down his mask, smiling a bit at the boy standing before him. His freckles and v-shaped chin made ☁️ smile as he finally recognized the man.

“It’s been a while, ☁️.”

“Felix, what’re you doing here? And why the secretive notes?”

“I didn’t want to scare you.. How have you been?”

☁️ walked over to Felix, who rested his back against the gray wallpaper. ☁️ noticed a sofa a few feet away from them, motioning Felix to sit down with him.

“I’ve been well. Began my dream job recently, and now I’m here for a few days with the company I work with. Everything’s good. How about you, though? I haven’t seen you since high school.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m well, too. And I meant to reach out, but a lot has changed since I moved.” Felix looked over to the boy with a soft smile. His voice was much deeper than ☁️ remembered.

“Oh, where’d you move to?” ☁️ asked, placing his hands on his lap.

“Korea. I’m in a band now.”

“No way, that’s so cool! Can I see?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Felix said quickly as he pulled out his phone from his back pocket. He tapped on the Spotify app, typing a name into the search bar. ☁️ watched as he clicked on the first option, ‘Stray Kids’ appearing on the screen. His eyebrows creased as he saw Felix with blue hair in the profile picture. What surprised him even more was the 8.7 million monthly listeners that the group had.

“How.. that’s a lot of people.” ☁️ looked up at Felix, who giggled at the comment.

“Yeah, I know. We’ve been doing really well. Wasn’t a fan of the blue, though.” Felix pointed at the picture, making ☁️ smile.

“You’ll have to invite me to a show or two.” ☁️ laughed, half-joking. Felix nodded, taking his phone away and putting it on the sofa.

“For sure, we’re actually in Milan for our world tour. You should come, I’ll invite you backstage and everything.“

“Oh, are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.” ☁️ shook his head, though he did actually want to see Felix perform.

“Of course. You and I weren’t as close as you were to..”

☁️ was taken aback when he heard Felix say Chan’s name.

“But, I think it’d be nice if you said hi to him after so long.”

☁️ raised an eyebrow at the comment.

“What do you mean?”

“Chan is in the group.”

“What?”

“You didn’t see him? Look to my left.” Felix pulled out his phone and showed ☁️ the picture on Spotify again, tapping Bang Chan’s face. He looked the same, but also different than ☁️ remembered.

“Are you sure that’s Chan?” ☁️ choked on his words, suddenly becoming uncomfortable. Chan hadn’t been on his mind since he went to college, and the boy left a sour taste in ☁️’s mouth after so long. Felix frowned at his reaction, seeming as though he hoped that ☁️ would’ve been more excited.

“Yes. He’s still the Chan he was before.”

☁️ nodded slowly, realizing that Chan must’ve gotten far with the agency he was in during high school. The male realized that he had buried Chan deep in his mind, ☁️’s head beginning to hurt as Felix forced him to dig the memories back up. He exhaled softly.

“I see. I’m very happy to see that you two are well. And still together.” ☁️ smiled genuinely at Felix, who smiled back.

“I’m happy to hear you’re good too, give me your number so that I can text you the concert information. Also tell me where you’re staying so I can send the ticket to you.”

Felix tapped an app and handed the device to ☁️, who typed his number in and made a contact.

“Okay, thanks. The rest of the guys are waiting for me because I told them I was using the bathroom. We’ll talk soon, okay?”

“For sure, it was so nice to see you.” ☁️ lifted his body off of the sofa, Felix following his action. Felix reached out his arms and wrapped them around the male, ☁️ hugging him back. Felix practically squeezed ☁️, the two embracing for a few seconds before Felix let go.

“It was nice to see you, too. I’ll be in touch.” Felix waved as he began down the steps, ☁️ waving back shyly with a smile. As Felix faded out of view, ☁️ fell back onto the sofa absolutely astonished.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Chan. Specifically about the wasted time they spent together in high-school, though ☁️ remembered enjoying it while in the moment. Memories of the boy also brought back memories of his family, who wouldn’t accept him if their lives had depended on it. ☁️ rarely spoke to his parents, doing so once or twice a month. The man sighed and stood up, though he felt nauseous. He spent the next few minutes sitting, the white noise of the restaurant below feeding his motionless state.

“☁️, you okay?” One of the younger guys from the boss’s team approached ☁️ from the top of the steps.

“Yes, just had to make a call.” ☁️ said monotone, him standing up and adjusting his jacket from around his shoulders.

“Oh, ok. We’ll be leaving shortly.”

☁️ muttered a ‘thanks’ before nodding, watching as the man entered the bathroom. Sighing once again, ☁️ advanced down the steps and to his table.

“Why were you upstairs for so long?”

The boss walked alongside ☁️ as the other four company members strolled a few feet behind them. The group was heading back to their hotel, admiring the city on the way.

“Had to take a phone call, that’s all.” ☁️ said, his face still forward. He felt his boss’s eyes on him, the man returning his gaze toward the stone walkway.

☁️ felt his phone buzz through his pocket as the tree branches swayed above him. He pulled the device out, there being a text from an unknown number. The male supposed Felix had messaged, ☁️ tapping on the notification and reading it.

Felix had already sent him the concert ticket- including the date, time, and stadium name. ☁️ smiled, responding with the name of his hotel and his room number, along with a ‘thanks :).’

He closed the messages app and looked at his lock screen. The concert was in two days, and ☁️’s company had four days left in Italy.

The group stepped onto the sidewalk. Waiting for cars to pass, they could see their hotel- it was just a few blocks down the street.

This part of the city was quieter than most, with the only sound being cars roaming or pedestrians chattering. ☁️ and his group crossed the street, the male looking over to his boss after.

“Boss?”

“Yes, ☁️”

“Are we busy in two days?”

“Is that Sunday?”

“Yes.”

“Then kinda. We have a meeting at noon at the Italian Headquarters. It shouldn’t be too long, why?”

“No reason..” ☁️ said as the group walked slowly down the sidewalk. “I was just hoping to tour the city a bit more.”

“That’s fine.. Also, would you like to grab coffee with me tomorrow morning?” His boss turned to look at ☁️ once again, his voice becoming soft.

☁️ looked back at his boss, the man’s face holding an empty expression- as if he was tired. ☁️ forgot that the boss was a bit tipsy, wondering how the man was walking so normally. “Feel free to say no.”

“I’m sorry, I was hoping to sleep in before our tour tomorrow. Maybe next time.”

“For sure.”

The group’s hotel was extravagant, probably because the company was covering the expenses. With two large, beige columns surrounding the entrance, two glass doors stood between ☁️ and the lobby. As the first to walk through, ☁️ stepped into the breezeway and then the lobby. He stopped at the beautiful floral arrangement that sat in the center of the room, waiting for the rest of his group.

Looking around the room, he noticed two men step out of the elevator beside the front desk. One wore a black mask and a grey cap, with a white shirt and tan cargo pants. The taller one was extremely attractive with long black hair, sunglasses, a plain white shirt and really baggy jeans. He watched as the two walked in ☁️‘s direction, the one with the mask seeming to notice ☁️ looking at them. Feeling awkward, ☁️ turned to his group, who were finally standing next to him. After the two guys walked past, the boss held his hand out, motioning ☁️ to lead the way.

“Ready?”

☁️ nodded his head and walked over to the elevator, everyone’s shoes tapping against the white marble floors. Pressing the button, they waited for the elevator to come back down.

As the door popped open, Felix practically ran into ☁️ as he hurried out.

“Ah, sorry! Oh, wait. Hi, ☁️. Did you see where Channie went?” Felix moved out of the way so that ☁️’s group could walk into the elevator.

“I’m not sure. A guy with a mask walked outside a minute ago though.”

Felix grabbed ☁️’s wrist and began walking outside, ☁️ stumbling behind him. The elevator door closed after his boss’s team watched, visibly confused.

“Felix, what are you doing?” ☁️ sighed.

“Say hi to Chris.” Felix dragged the boy through the glass doors and into the breezeway before ☁️ lightly pulled his hand away. His eyebrows creased together and a nervous chill descended down his body.

“I can’t, Felix.” Annoyed, he spoke softly as to be polite. ☁️ should’ve been walking into his room and getting ready for bed.

“Please, just say hi to him. It’s been a really long time.”

“Why?” ☁️ questioned rather impulsively, tilting his head at Felix.

“What do you mean?”

☁️ hesitated to answer, choosing to look at the ground instead of the man in front of him.

“It’s been a really long time.” ☁️ continued to face the floor, the two standing in silence for a few seconds.

“Do you hold a grudge against him?”

☁️ picked his head up to look at Felix, surprised by the boldness of the question. The two stared at each other again, ☁️ not knowing the answer to Felix’s question. Did he actually hold a grudge against Chan? It wasn’t his fault that the two of them didn’t work out all of those years ago.

“It’s not.. my place to tell you how to feel, but you two were young. If you’re going to see him Sunday night, I think you should.. think about it.” Felix’s voice turned soft, his words feeling as though he was soothing a deep wound in ☁️’s mind. ☁️ looked up and down, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“I don’t blame him. It’s just…”

“..difficult to process?”

“Exactly.” ☁️ nodded his head, to then match Felix’s eye contact.

“I understand. I just thought that you’d be more excited to see him, considering your.. you know.” Felix let out a nervous chuckle, a few strands of his black hair getting into his eye. He continued, “This is a sudden.. and.. weird coincidence that we’re all here at the same time. And staying in the same hotel. I’m obviously not going to force you, but maybe we can all hang out later?” Felix anticipated the male’s response with a sympathetic smile.

“Of course, maybe when I’m not dressed like this.” ☁️ smiled and looked himself up and down. He was still in his dress pants and tie.

“Are you free tomorrow?” ☁️ asked timidly. He noticed that Felix hadn’t grown much since high school, but he definitely looked more mature.

“Later in the day, yes. Let us take you out.”

☁️ was about to argue, but the unknown man with black hair approached the glass, tapping on the door lightly to get their attention. He pointed a thumb behind him, as a sign that they should get going.

“Okay? I’ll see you tomorrow, ☁️.” Felix waved goodbye as he stepped out of the glass doors and into the night air. A light wind escaped into the breezeway, causing ☁️’s ties and jacket to flail.

☁️ rose out of bed, rubbing his eyes. It was 11am, so ☁️ took his time to get ready. Repeating his odd interactions with Felix in his head, past memories were all he could think about. The coincidence of him being in the same city at the same time as his celebrity high school friends was a distasteful concept. Equally as distasteful, the concept of Chan throwing ☁️ off pace as he had done all of those years ago made the male sigh. He had gotten over Chan completely after high school, but ☁️ was now in his mid-twenties. He felt immature for wanting to push Chan away and avoid him, having to remind himself that people grow and heal as time passes. ☁️ slept on the idea of seeing Chan today, unexpectedly content with the idea. He took his time getting ready for the day.

☁️ held his phone above the nightstand beside his bed. It was 11:40am, and he had received a text message two minutes prior.

Felix: Are you free at 6pm?

☁️ had planned to visit the Lago Maggiore with his company’s team today, though he assumed that they wouldn’t be there for more than a few hours. They were supposed to meet in less than 20 minutes.

☁️: Sure!

☁️ placed his phone back on the nightstand and got dressed, wearing something rather light for the warm day. He made sure to look well-polished for the evening, though.

With four minutes left of their car-ride back to the hotel, ☁️ would have a few minutes to spare before meeting with the guys.

The lake was fun, ☁️ did some touring and took lots of cute pictures- both of himself and with his boss’s team. The sun drained his energy, though, so he planned to go lay for a bit before going out back out.

☁️ rested his head against the car’s leather seat, closing his eyes as the boss drove the group through the busy streets of Milan.

☁️ opened his eyes as his alarm went off at 5:58pm. He reached over to his nightstand, tapping around until his alarm turned off. He slowly rolled off of the bed before stretching, grabbing his phone, and putting his shoes back on. As he reached for the doorknob, a light knock erupted from the other side.

☁️ opened the door steadily to see Chan with his head down, holding a bouquet of white lilies. Startled at ☁️’s quick response, Chan raised his eyebrows and stared at the male.

☁️ stared back at Chan in a state of bewilderment, him frozen entirely. Chan shook off his nerves and curled his lips into a bashful smile. The man admired ☁️ for a few seconds longer before softly handing the lilies over to him. Still confused, ☁️ took the flowers, holding the bouquet as if it were a baby. He wasn’t aware of the blank expression on his face, ☁️ eventually forcing a smile as he looked Chan up and down. The man wore a white shirt under a baggy jean jacket with black straight-legged pants. His hair was dyed light brown, it a little less wavy than ☁️ remembered. The male thought Chan looked tired- his skin was shiny but he had faint bags under his eyes. As he caught Chan’s gaze, he realized that he forgot to acknowledge him.

“Thank you. Please come in.” ☁️ said softly before turning his back to the boy, walking inside. Chan followed him, standing in the hallway as he watched ☁️ remove fake flowers from a vase. The male filled the glass with water, him then placing the bouquet of lilies into it. He walked over to the window, setting the vase on the table below it. ☁️ turned around to face Chan from the other side of the room.

“How have you been?” Chan said, still looking ☁️ up and down. ☁️ leaned on the table behind him, placing his hands on the rim of it.

“Well, and you?” ☁️’s eye twitched as he responded, hoping the man wouldn’t notice.

“I’ve been okay.”

“That’s good.”

Chan nodded his head, looking around the room. He felt awkward and was clearly nervous, though, ☁️ was too. ☁️ decided to break the tension as he walked towards Chan.

“Is Felix in the lobby?”

He passed Chan and opened the room door.

“He… didn’t want to come.”

“Of course he didn’t.” ☁️ mumbled under his breath. Felix had always been sneaky, though his intent was never malicious. It was obvious that the man was trying to set the two up again, but ☁️ couldn’t imagine it.

“Can I invite you out?.. Just us two?” Chan walked up to where ☁️ remained stagnant.

The male didn’t respond, nor did he move as the door slowly closed to a shut. ☁️ breathed silently, completely overwhelmed with the way the past two days have been.

Reuniting with the man that he fell out of love with was painful, and he felt himself wanting to avoid the situation altogether. What did he owe Chan? And after all this time? It wasn’t like Chan had made an effort to reach out after a little less than 10 years.

Chan stood quietly behind ☁️ as he watched the male remain in his stance. After a few seconds of silence, he walked around ☁️, opening his room door.

“I’m sorry, I hope you liked the flowers.” Chan sighed passively, almost as though he didn’t want to say it. The man began down the hallway, placing his hands into his pocket. ☁️ peaked out to watch the man’s figure become tinier in the distance, feeling bad for his silence. Felix’s words crept on him as if he were a ghost or omen.

Whether cause by an epiphany or not, ☁️ had finally comprehended how he felt. He did hold a grudge against Chan, and he felt terribly immature for doing so. Maybe Chan was truly the right person, but the two had connected at the wrong time. Those tropes had always seemed bittersweet, anyway.

It was impulsivity’s influence that convinced ☁️ to run down the hallway and into the area housing the elevator. ☁️ stood with his hands at his side, watching Chan slowly disappear behind the closing elevator doors.

To his surprise, Chan shoved his arm through the opening before it could shut, causing the doors to reopen. Chan took a step forward as ☁️ walked over to him. Before the doors could close again, Chan grabbed ☁️’s wrist and pulled him into the elevator, pulling with such force that the two ended up body to body against the wall. Chan leaned his head down as ☁️ lifted his, the two locking lips almost immediately.

The elevator door closed and ☁️ felt a rush of euphoria trickle down his body, alongside a pair of hands. He wrapped his arms around Chan’s neck as the two continued to make out.

The elevator began to descend, which caused ☁️ to pull away from Chan and look at the declining numbers behind him. The male turned back at Chan, who couldn’t wipe the grin off of his face.

“I really missed you.”

☁️ unwrapped his arms from around Chan, putting them to his side and turning around.

“I’m sure.”

The elevator door beeped, opening to the main lobby level. Two men stood opposite to them.

“S‘cuse us, Seungmin.”

Chan pushed ☁️ from behind after placing a hand on his lower back, the two hurrying out.

“Where are you going?” The man behind ‘Seungmin’ asked, turning his head as Chan walked past.

“Going on a date, I’ll be back.” Chan said after removing his hand from ☁️’s waist. ☁️ didn’t turn around, already pondering about his decision.

“A date, hm?” ☁️ scoffed slyly, as the two walked over to the glass doors. Chan didn’t entertain his flippant remark, simply stating, “Yes.”

☁️ didn’t anticipate having a make out session with his kinda-ex in the elevator, but was somehow a bit less anxious when around Chan now. The two walked through both of the entrances, down the small staircase, and out onto the sidewalk.

“I’m parked in the garage behind the hotel. Just wait here and I’ll spin around, yea?”

Before ☁️ could respond, Chan was already power walking toward the side of the building. ☁️ felt around his pockets, realizing that he forgot his phone and keycard in his room. He cursed under his breath, contemplating on whether or not he should run back to his room and grab it. Wait, how was he going to get in without a keycard? He sighed, walking back inside and towards the front desk, there luckily being no line.

☁️ watched as Chan pulled up to the curb in a red car, it seeming to be an older model. ☁️ walked over to the passenger side, though Chan practically threw himself out of the vehicle before he could open the door.

“Stop-” Chan shouted, him rushing toward ☁️ from around the car. Confused, the male took a step back as Chan opened the car door for him. He looked up to ☁️ expectantly, ☁️ rolling his eyes and smiling.

“Thank you.”

Chan nodded as ☁️ stepped inside the car.

The drive was silent- for the first few minutes that was. ☁️ couldn’t stop looking at Chan as he drove. The sky was transitioning into a purple hue, though its clouds of pink and orange refused to do the same. The street lights eventually turned on sequentially, illuminating the road as night engulfed the city.

“See something you like?” Chan looked over to ☁️, a smirk forming on his lips. ☁️ could tell he was overly confident since the kiss they shared, the male wanting to change that.

“Felix told me you guys were in a band. Wanna play a song for me?” ☁️ was now the one smiling as Chan became visibly nervous.

“If you’d like. You’re gonna have to use your phone, though. There’s nowhere to plug a cord in here.”

“I don’t have my phone, can I use yours?”

Chan furrowed his eyebrows, though he didn’t question it.

“Yeah, it’s in my pocket. Pull it out.”

☁️ reached over into Chan’s pants pocket, grabbing his phone. He tapped on it, a picture of Chan and his group as the wallpaper. He slid up, though the man had a password. As the car came to a stop at a red light, ☁️ shoved the phone in front of Chan. The man looked into it, unlocking the device with facial recognition.

“What’s your band name?” ☁️ asked as he tapped on the Youtube app.

“Stray Kids.”

☁️ almost laughed at him.

“How’d you come up with that?”

“I’m not answering you.” Chan said dully, though he smiled. The man was relieved to hear ☁️ teasing him, the two slowly becoming more comfortable with each other.

☁️ tapped on the first music video that popped up, it being ‘S-class’.

“182 million views? That’s cool.”

“Which ones that?”

“S-class.”

“Watch another, you’re not gonna like that one.”

“Too late, it already started.”

☁️ smiled at Felix as he appeared on the screen, though he jumped back as the rapping started- chan tried not to laugh at him. ☁️ watched the music video intensely, occasionally chuckling at it.

“Any of your group members single? You should give them my number.” ☁️ smiled at Chan, who wasn’t as amused.

“No. I don’t even have your number.” Chan seemed jealous.

“I’m kidding,” ☁️ mumbled, continuing to watch the video.

“Why don’t you have a lot of parts?” ☁️ asked, this time in a serious tone.

“I have more throughout the album.”

As the music video finished, ☁️ nodded his head.

“Very experimental.”

“I said you weren’t gonna like it.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. Maybe it’ll grow on me.”

Chan smiled at the comment, his eyes still on the road.

“Listen to the La-La song. You’ll like that one better.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

☁️ tapped on the ‘LALALALA’ music video, it having a much smoother start.

“Felix looks really good.”

“Yeah.”

As the video came to an end, ☁️ smiled at Chan.

“I did like that one.”

“See?”

☁️ closed the app and turned off Chan’s phone, placing it in his lap.

“I’m impressed. Hope I’m hearing those two live.”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

The two smiled to each other as Chan pulled into a small parking lot.

“We’re here.”

“Hyunjin took me here on our first night. It’s nice, right?”

Chan stood beside ☁️ in a small, open-concept restaurant. The two drove into the countryside, where it was much less crowded. The restaurant featured large glass doorframes with many plants hanging from above- giving the room a comfortable feel.

“Yes.” ☁️ responded, still looking around. A woman brought the two to a table in the corner, Chan sitting against the wall. She handed the two a pair of menus and quickly departed. ☁️ opened the menu, half-expecting Chan to start a conversation, which he did.

"☁️,”

“Yes?” ☁️ placed his menu down to look at the man in front of him. Chan hesitated as ☁️ narrowed his eyes at him, probably making the man even more hesitant.

“Firstly.. I’d like to thank you for coming out with me. I’m very happy to see you again after so long..” Chan avoided eye contact with ☁️ as he said this, making the male smile.

“I’m happy to see you too.” ☁️ replied, genuinely. After the kind gestures and impulsive decisions, ☁️ had put his pride aside to hear Chan out- which he had been enjoying so far.

“I just wanted to say.. that I apologize. I wanted to reach out to you, honestly. I just got so caught up with my schedules and my health- I just..”

“There’s no need to apologize.” ☁️ interrupted.

“No, I need to. It wasn’t right to abandon you the way I did.”

“It was a mutual decision, Chris.”

“Even so, I shouldn’t have let you go. Despite everything. I should’ve kept in contact, and after you went off to school and I became an idol, I tried. I guess you got a new number because my messages would never go through.”

☁️ tilted his head. “So you did try to reach out?”

“You think that I wouldn’t have?”

☁️ looked down at the table, not remembering what could’ve prevented him from receiving Chan’s texts. He simply shrugged his shoulders at Chan’s question.

“Just know I did, but I should’ve done more.”

“Wouldn’t your fans have been angry, anyway?” ☁️ looked up and at Chan.

“So?”

☁️ sighed, knowing that this conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere.

“Chris, when we stopped talking in high school, it was because you always kept me hidden. And all of these years later, I still feel the same way. I’m not going to be hidden in your shadow, and I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear.” ☁️ spoke so that his voice was concise, yet tender. He wanted to be honest in the kindest way possible.

Chan contemplated ☁️’s words, the two sitting in silence for a moment. He looked over to the waitress as she approached the two, a notepad and pen in hand.

Ordering waters and a small appetizer, the two watched as she smiled and walked away. Chan looked at ☁️ with a blank expression, the male creasing his eyebrows at him.

“If I tell you this, you need to promise me that you won’t be mad.” Chan was serious, but ☁️ rolled his eyes.

“Okay, just tell me.”

“You need to promise.”

“Okay, I promise, just tell me.”

“Actually..” Chan looked up at the ceiling, contemplating once again. “..Let’s talk about it after we eat. I don’t wanna go back and forth.”

☁️ huffed, sitting back against his chair with his arms crossed. He looked at Chan with a somewhat irritated look, forcing Chan to change the topic.

“You know, Felix wouldn’t shut up about you. He’s really happy you’re here.” Chan smiled as he spoke. ☁️ gave the man a small smile back, nodding. “He told me that he was gonna take you out if I didn’t.”

Though confused by his statement, ☁️ he didn’t question it.

“Well, I’m glad I’m here too. He’s a sweetheart.” ☁️ picked his menu back up, quickly picking something to eat before the waitress came back.

“He is.”

Chan having ordered a lot, the waitress took empty plates and bowls from the table. ☁️ watched the man finish the rest of his food, there only a few people left in the restaurant.

Sitting across from Chan felt the same as it had in high school- with an unspoken tension between them, ☁️ was still happy to be in his crush’s presence.

“Do you remember when we would sit together after school?” Chan pushed his bowel to the edge of the table, ☁️ stunned by his question.

“I was just thinking about that.”

“I remember you’d always meet me after classes so that we could walk together. And the way my mom would cook you food when you came to my house. You always felt bad when she did.”

☁️ smiled wistfully and nodded.

“Also, when I joined the club you were in just to spend time with you. And when you’d help me with my essays in the library. I had a crush on you for a while before we talked. Then you started avoiding me.”

“I recall both of us avoiding each other after we both decided that it wouldn’t work out.” ☁️ blinked, keeping his gaze on Chan. “I was.. miserable.”

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

☁️ shook his head. “It’s okay, I don’t really remember it.”

Chan nodded slowly, him then placing his elbow onto the table. The man rested his chin into his hand, softly gazing at ☁️.

“Well, I do. And.. I really hated living my life without you.”

Chan and ☁️ stared at each other, though ☁️ couldn’t help but tear up. He turned his head to the side, looking down at the wooden floorboards surrounding him.

A single tear fell, though both of his eyes have watered. The male looked down at his shirt and lap to see where the teardrop could’ve landed, though there was no sign of it.

The waitress trotted over to their table and placed the check in between the two, thanking them and quickly departing. ☁️ continued to look down, though he thanked the lady back before she walked away.

Chan immediately grabbed the check, walking up to the stand to pay for their food. Embarrassed, ☁️ wiped his face with his sleeves.

Chan approached the table, offering a hand down to ☁️. The male placed his hand into Chan’s as he helped ☁️ get out of his chair. Before resting his hand on the male’s hip, Chan wrapped his arm around ☁️’s back.

The two walked side to side out of the restaurant, only stopping when they reached Chan’s car. Chan moved his hand from ☁️’s waist to his shoulder, placing his other hand on the opposing side. The two now looked at each other, ☁️ noticing that Chan was now the one teary-eyed. Chan pulled the male into a tight hug, ☁️ hugging him back just as tight.

“I’m sorry… I really am. Can I ask you to give me another chance?” Chan kept his grasp on ☁️’s body as the two continued the embrace. ☁️ exhaled loudly.

“You live in Korea, don’t you? It’s not going to work, Chan.” As much as it hurt ☁️ to say, he wanted to remain realistic.

“I forgot to talk about that.” Chan took a step back from ☁️, him grabbing the male’s hands and holding them.

“Oh, yea. What were you gonna tell me before?”

“Let’s get in the car.”

Chan pulled out of the parking lot, driving for a minute before turning onto a dirt road.

“This isn’t the way we came.”

“It’s a scenic route. I took it last time I came.”

☁️ looked out of his window to see the town fade into trees.

“What were you gonna tell me.”

“Don’t be mad.”

☁️ looked over to Chan, getting irritated. Chan glanced over, smiling at the boy’s expression.

“So, after Felix saw you in that restaurant you went to yesterday, he met your boss in the bathroom. He asked about you, and they had a pretty lengthy conversation. He learned what you do nowadays, your company’s name, your department, and all that.”

“What?!”

“Felix said that there was a Korean branch happy to hire you. He spoke to them today.”

☁️ laughed out loud, baffled.

“Wait, wait, wait. So Felix was spying on me, got a lead on me through my tipsy boss, and then got me a job in Korea? I don’t even speak Korean.” ☁️ looked over at Chan, still in shock.

“We could be together if you moved.”

“You think I’d just pick up and leave because we bumped into each other? Chris, please be realistic.”

“I can’t let you go so easily, ☁️. I already made that mistake. I need you.” Chan spoke softly and turned to ☁️, the two glaring at each other before Chan noticed the car was shifting off of the road. He harshly turned the wheel, regaining control and continuing through the forest.

“What you need is your eyes on the road.”

“I’m serious, ☁️.” Chan exhaled loudly.

“I’m serious, too. It’s unrealistic. I already told you that I didn’t want to be hidden.”

“I wouldn’t hide you. I’d tell the whole world about you if I could.”

☁️ thought his words were sweet, but he had his mind made up.

“I’m sorry.”

☁️ watched as the city in the distance became closer and closer. It didn’t take the two long to reach the hotel’s garage, Chan pulling in.

Chan parked the car, the two then unbuckling their seatbelts. He pushed a button on the driver’s seat door, a clicking sound following. ☁️ tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge.

“My door won’t open.” He looked over to Chan, the man’s finger hovering over a button. ☁️ looked back at his side’s door, realizing it was locked. He pushed the lock open, though another click sounded.

“I’m not letting you leave until you give me a second chance.”

☁️ rolled his eyes and turned to face Chan.

“I already told you how I feel.”

“Just spend a month with me and see how it goes. Please.”

☁️ pushed the lock up again, Chan clicking the button. He thought about Chan’s offer, though he didn’t want to give the man hope.

“I can’t.”

“I have my own place. You can stay with me.”

“How would you make time for me? How would we be out in public? I refuse to repeat how things were before.” ☁️ gave up and rested his head on the seat.

“That’s what I’m saying. I’d make sure it wasn’t anything like that. I’d take you everywhere that I go. I promise.”

Chan grabbed ☁️’s hand, basically pleading him with puppy eyes. ☁️ glanced over at him, the scene making him smile.

Spending a few weeks with Chan didn’t sound too bad. It wasn’t like he had much going on besides work- no boyfriend, no pets, just an insipid apartment. He really liked Chan, and was truly considering to try it all over again. Considering the opportune circumstances, maybe their fire was meant to rekindle. Maybe they were truly soulmates. ☁️ didn’t want to lose what displayed so much promise.

“I’ll talk to my boss. A month seems too long.”

“I’ll make it worth your while.” Chan smiled at ☁️, letting go of his hand. He tapped another button on the door, unlocking the vehicle. The two slid out and walked together up to the hotel entrance. Chan took ☁️’s hand and intertwined their fingers as they walked up the steps.

Realizing that he was supposed to grab a keycard from the front desk, ☁️ let go of Chan’s hand and stepped behind an older person speaking to the worker. After a few seconds, the person walked toward the elevator, ☁️ smiling as the lady recognized him. She grabbed something from behind the desk and placed it in front of him.

“Thank you so much.” ☁️ said as he grabbed the keycard, him then waving goodbye.

“You left your card up there?” Chan asked as they approached the elevator.

“Yeah, when I.. met you at the elevator.”

“Met, hm?”

“Shut up.”

Chan smiled, pulling the male into him as they waited.

The elevator beeped and then opened, the two walking inside. ☁️ tapped his floor number, expecting Chan to do the same after him- except he didn’t.

“Aren’t you going to select your floor?”

“No. I wanna spend more time with you.”

“I’m all Chris-ed out, sorry.” ☁️ smiled as Chan wrapped his big arms around the male’s neck, resting his head onto ☁️’s neck.

“No you’re not.”

The two stayed in that position until the elevator opened, ☁️ dragging Chan to his hotel room down the hall. Swiping his card into the lock, he opened the door and led Chan inside.

“This means you’re coming back to Korea with me, right?” Chan asked as he climbed onto ☁️’s bed. ☁️ grabbed his phone from the nightstand and checked the time. It was 10:49pm, much later than he expected. He had a few messages from his company’s team.

“No. I don’t have a plane ticket or enough packed clothes.”

“You could just come with me and take mine.” Chan rested on his back, watching as ☁️ sat beside him. Chan pulled ☁️’s shoulder down.

“I have to work.” ☁️ now laid in front of Chan, the two looking into each other’s eyes.

“Don’t make me wait long to see you. I’ll miss you too much.” ☁️ turned to face Chan, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck. Chan responded by placing a hand on ☁️’s waist, lifting the male to sit on top of him.

“We’ll see.”

Chan continued to rub around ☁️’s waist and behind.

“The very last time you came over, we laid like this, and I remember wanting to kiss you bad. You had to go, though, and I didn’t want you to get in trouble. I also remember when you said your parents didn’t like me.”

“How the hell do you remember everything after so long?”

“How could I forget?” Chan smiled, his soft voice and smooth skin making ☁️ melt from on top of him. The two continued to look into each other’s eyes, ☁️ moving his legs onto each side of Chan’s hips and sitting. Chan grabbed the back of the male’s neck, softly pulling his head into his. The two locked lips, ☁️ trailing his hand down the man’s large chest.

Chan grabbed ☁️’s chin and lifted the male’s lips off of his own. He smiled, at ☁️, utterly enamored.

“I won’t let you go again. Would you let me be your boyfriend?”

“So suddenly?”

☁️ intertwined his fingers into Chan’s as he sat on the man’s waist. Chan simply nodded as ☁️ leaned in, planting a kiss on his cheek. Not being able to wipe the grin off of his face, Chan anticipated the boy’s response.

“I suppose.. we’ll see how it goes.” ☁️ whispered teasingly, his hand cupping the side of Chan’s face.

“Finally.”

Chan placed his hands on ☁️’s waist again, flipping the two of them over. ☁️ now laid under Chan, who put himself in between the male’s legs.

The moon hung high outside of ☁️’s hotel room window, glistening above thin clouds. Chan placed his lips on ☁️’s neck as those clouds lingered gracefully and uninterrupted through night sky. Within only a few minutes of being alone together, Chan and ☁️ had already tuned out the world around them. Both focused on the man they held close- the one with the beautiful smile and soft touch.

Now that Chan and ☁️ had accomplished both of their dreams independently, having each other in their arms was their only priority. They simply weren’t meant to be apart; rather, their purpose lies in a life with each other.

-——♡——-

BONUS: ( may or may not be a snippet of part 3 )

“Have you been enjoying the concert so far, babe?”

Chan was the last one to step backstage during the intermission, him immediately sitting next to ☁️ on one of the couches. He pulled ☁️ into a hug and rested his head on the male’s shoulder, sweat dripping from his head.

“Yes, but you’re all sweaty..”

“You didn’t seem to mind that last ni-“

☁️ punched Chan’s arm, looking around to make sure nobody heard him, making Chan laugh.

“Be quiet, I’ll grab you a towel.”

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

a/n: this took forever sry :,) idk how to feel abt it but hope u guys liked !! ♡ this draft was making my app glitch so bad LMAO. anyway, part 3 is not coming soon- i need to write abt smth else for a while lolzz

-——♡——-

#im literally crying #its 3 am #WTH????? IM CRYING #BANG CHANNNNN #“how could I forget” FUCKKKKKK

118 notes · View notes

jihanbang · 4 months

Text

ACKKKK!!! STAWP I CRIED 😭 THANK YOU!!! @xmalereader ❤️

PS5 Peter Parker x Male Reader

☆ — MASTERLIST — ☆

REQUEST: May I request a PS5 Peter Parker x Male Reader. The reader and Peter used to be a thing when they were in high school but, they didn't work due to Peter's distance and cold because of him being spiderman especially when aunt May died. Years later, they encountered each other, the reader achieved his dream of being a writer, he wrote a book about him and unexpectedly, Peter came to his convention. Peter has been following the reader ever since they broke up, he always checks up on what he was doing daily without him. He visited the reader's convention hoping for a closure and confessed that he still loves the reader.

TAG: @jihanbang

WC: 4.7K

CONTENT/WARNINGS: Fluff, angst, mentions of high school sweethearts, age gap ( one year difference ), Peter is angsty, reader is a writer, break ups and make ups, request made, insomniac Peter Parker, Spider-Man, some mature language, memories, childhood, high school memories. Peter POV, OOC Peter Parker.

NOTES: I may have gone a little overboard with this one, but I don’t care. I’ve actually been planning on writing an angsty Peter about ex lovers and all and when I saw your request I just had to write it right away. I was gonna keep it short but instead took it further almost 5k! (°▽°), but anyways I enjoyed writing this and put it as Peter perspective. I hope you enjoy this shot because I know I did!

Peter stares at the poster board plastered on the front window of the cities famous bookstore that he’d been passing by on the way out of F.E.A.S.T. He wasn’t much of a reader when it came towards books of fantasy or romance and would much rather have his nose stuck between the pages of a physics and engineering book, but he’d for sure read this new one coming out soon. His eyes drift over to the authors picture, staring at the smiling man and taking in their appearance. How long has it been since he’s last seen that smile?

Peter remembers the first time he saw that smile.

He was sixteen years old and freshly new to high school near his aunt May’s place. He’d grown nervous and anxious at the idea of starting his first year of his last three years of education before collage could even start, he remembers arriving late on his first day, flustered and embarrassed when walking into his first period only to have everyone laugh at him when the teacher points out his tardiness to the whole class.

He was embarrassed, but also lucky enough to get a seat in the back of the classroom where no one would see him. The only difference was that the only spot avaliable was next to the schools president who was a year older than Peter and the only Junior in his first period class. Peter always steered away from class representatives having experience their egos back in middle school. The good thing was that he didn’t have to deal with it all day and only for the first hour of school.

Until he found out that the president was in all of his classes, meaning that he would be seeing the kid for the whole school year and being partnered with him in various projects together. When he was first partnered with the class president he figured that he would be the only one doing the project and getting them an easy A only to get the total opposite from him.

Peter was surprised when Y/n sat next to him during class, shoulders bumping as he opens their textbooks and began to plan out their project and what subject they should look into along with figuring out where to meet up and when to get started. Peter didn’t think that the class president would actually help him out or put the work into their project.

He figured that he was only being nice because he was the schools star until he started following Peter everywhere. He’d invite him to eat lunch together or even drag him to the library in order to get started on their project it wasn’t until Peter actually freaked out when Y/n followed him home, thinking that he was being stalked and gained the confidence to stick up to the president, glaring at the junior and asking him why he was following him and claiming him to be a stalker.

Only for Y/n to laugh at Peters accusations and quickly clear up the problem by telling him that he actually lived in the same street as him, pointing out to the house just a few blocks down from Peters aunts place. Lets just say that Peter was embarrassed that day.

It wasn’t until their time together became a routine.

Y/n would be waiting for Peter every morning in order to walk to school together, visiting his place and joining his and aunt Mays dinner nights and keeping them company. There time together almost everyday caused a strange feeling to bloom deep down inside of Peter, questioning himself as to why he was feeling this way whenever he was around Y/n.

Peter liked science and like a scientist he had to experiment.

So, the teen started the process. His mornings with Y/n on the way to school were normal the two always talking about class work that was left unfinished or Y/n telling Peter about the different ideas he had in mind for the students and making sure that the year ends perfectly for everyone. There lunch together was also normal with Peter sitting across from Y/n as he eats his chocolate pudding, staring at the other teen who also eats his lunch and passing Peter his own pudding cup.

Y/n knew that Peter liked the schools chocolate pudding and always gave him his each time they got it for lunch without even having to offer it and Peter would easily take it without hesitation and eat a spoonful while they continued to converse.

Peter didn’t get that familer feeling anymore and figured that he was possibly just sick that day. Only to get that same feeling again when their both sitting in his bedroom after finishing up their project with Y/n rambling to Peter about his writing and the amount of ideas he had in mind while showing his drafts, sitting so close to each other that they can feel each others breaths.

That’s when Peter discovered that he was crushing on the class president.

Which resulted into Peter screaming into his pillow that night after going to bed. He couldn’t be crushing on Y/n out of all people why him? Since his discovery he was much more careful around Y/n, cutting their time together, leaving earlier than him in the mornings to the point that he had to fake being sick in order to avoid seeing him.

It didn’t take long for Y/n to notice Peter avoiding him and he wasn’t one to let things drag on. The day that Peter arrived to school an hour early in order to avoid Y/n he didn’t expect himself to be grabbed by the back of his backpack and dragged inside the janitors closet. He panics at first until he’s face to face with Y/n, staring at him with wide eyes and noticed how angry he looked.

“You’re avoiding me.”

Peter chuckled nervously while shrugging. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Cut the crap, Peter.”

Peter can’t help but wince softly by his stern voice, avoiding eye contact when he feels his heart race, noticing how close Y/n is being while he continues to talk.

“You’re always leaving earlier than me in the mornings which is funny because your always waking up late and I have to be the one to wake you up—you stopped eating lunch with me and your always taking sick days which never happens because you hate missing school and you never get sick!” He continued to ramble on, losing Peter half way when he’s staring at him with admiration. The fact that Y/n not only noticed Peters avoidance but also pointed out the smallest things about him that not many people knew about, not even his aunt did.

“—and then you leave me behind after school when we always walk back home together and you don’t answer my texts! So, I figured that I’d corner you before school started in order to get answers.”

Peter is pulled from his thoughts and focused back on Y/n, staring at him as he stands before him with crossed arms and a frown on his face and a raised brow, waiting for an answer.

“It’s complicated.”

“Bullshit.”

Y/n was quick to respond, surprising Peter.

The two are staring each other down until Y/n sighs in defeat, frown softening while breaking contact and rubbing his temples. “Look, I won’t push you to tell me but can I least ask…did I do something to make you act this way?” His voice is filled with concern which only makes Peter quickly speak up. “No! No you didn’t do anything its…” He hesitates to speak, growing afraid and anxious by how Y/n will react when confessing his feelings.

He’s afraid to lose the person he really cares for, but he can’t always keep his feelings bottled up.

“Peter—?”

“I like you.”

Y/n’s breath hitched when hearing Peters confession, eyes full of surprise and with a gaped mouth. Before he could say anything Peter continues on. “I didn’t know until I started being around you more often and ever time I’m around you my hearts races and my stomach makes me feel like I want to throw up. I was avoiding you because I was afraid of how you’d react if you found out and I thought it would be better for me to keep my distance in hopes of getting rid of these feelings, but it only made me feel worse.”

Peter would think that Y/n would reject him and possibly leave him alone in the closet, ending their friendship after confessing. He didn’t think that he’d pulled into a kiss, warm hands cupping his cheeks and soft lips against his own. Peters eyes were wide in and face going red, he wasn’t only full of surprise but it was also his first kiss.

“You’re an idiot if you didn’t think i’d feel the same way.” Y/n says against Peters lips when breaking apart.

From that moment on the two started dating.

Peter expected the entire school to find out that their popular Vice president was dating him only to get nothing due to them keeping their relationship private. Y/n wanted to continue enjoying his time with Peter in school without being bombarded with questions by the various popular students who liked him. The two had their peace for the first year until graduation neared.

During Y/n’s last year of school he had told everyone that he wasn’t running for president for his Senior year and instead with the extra time he had he spent it at Peters place after school. The two would listen to each others talk passionately about what they loved with Peter talking fondly about his science projects and him listening to Y/n ramble on about his writing and his book ideas that he’s noted down for Peter to read and critique.

Everything was going well until it wasn’t.

Before Peter and Y/n officially started dating he focused on his duties as the cities hero, never having to worry about keeping it a secret from anyone else but his Aunt only to find out that he’d have to eventually tell Y/n about it which only freaked him out. He couldn’t allow him to know due to the fear of ruining their relationship and perhaps putting him in danger if things were to get bad as he continued to be the cities hero.

So, little by little Peter became distant towards Y/n.

Coming up with excuses as to why he didn’t want to go out to the point that arguments started over the smallest things. Peter wanted to keep Y/n close to him but the fear of being discovered as to why he’s always late to their small dates caused him to make the worst decision ever. It was the week before senior graduation that he broke up with Y/n, making up a lie that he didn’t want to hold him back when he’s in college and should have the freedom to be with other people who were far better than him.

Peter couldn’t even look him in the eyes when he utters those words and instead runs away like a coward.

That same night he had cried himself to sleep, feeling devastated and broken by his poor decision but also telling himself that it was for the best. Peter avoided Y/n on the days that he tried to talk to him, coming over to his aunts place to try and have a conversation only to be pushed away, keeping himself busy with his Spider-Man duties and spending more time in the city.

It wasn’t until after graduation that Y/n moves out of his parents place and got himself an apartment on the other side of the city, far away from Peter. He didn’t have to worry about going outside and bumping into his ex each time he checked the mail or took out the trash even though Peter wished to see him again he knew it’s was better to stay away.

Even after twelve years he couldn’t stop thinking about the man.

As the years went on he had found Y/n on social media, checking in on his profile every few weeks and taking notice of the various pictures that are posted along with interviews and conventions about his book that is to be released soon. Peter didn’t want to look like a stalker checking his ex’s socials, but can’t help himself and do it.

After returning back home from F.E.A.S.T he didn’t expect to find MJ working in the living room. Even though the two were close friends she had recently moved in with him as a way of saving some money and making living easier for the both of them.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked when enter the house and closing the door behind him while heading towards the kitchen to make himself something to eat while he listened to MJ type away on her computer. “Just on a new article.” She answers and looks up from her computer to see Peter searching the fridge. MJ took the opportunity to close her laptop and rush over to Peter with a smirk on his face.

“An article about what?” Peter closed the fridge after taking out the orange juice and slightly jolts by MJ’s sudden close appearance, startling him and sighing deeply.

“About Y/n.”

Peter froze at the familiar name.

Even though him and MJ had been friends for years he hadn’t told her or Harry about his past relationship with Y/n he never even mentioned dating someone when he was with them. He wasn’t ashamed he just didn’t want to bring up something he regrets ruining.

“The author?” He stutters out and focused back on pouring himself a drink and setting the carton of orange juice aside while he listened to MJ. “Yeah! I got to interview him about his book and he was very nice.” She went on about her time with Y/n. “Oh! He actually gave me a copy of his book before the release date and I took today to start reading it, I’m half way through but I really like it. I think its kind of cute that he turned his life story into a little fairy tale of his own.” She chuckled while approaching the living room where she picks up the book.

Peters eyes land on the cover page and watched her open the book to where she left off, his eyes averting as he focused on drinking his juice.

“Check this out! While I was reading it I noticed that the love interest has the same name as you.”

Peter chokes on his juice.

Spitting and coughing by the action.

“Are you okay?” MJ approached him, patting his back as she looks at him with worry only for Peter to reassure her that he’s fine and that he choked on his juice, claiming that he was drinking to face when in reality he was shocked by MJ’s words.

“Can I see?” He points towards the open book that she left open on the counter. “sure.” Her approval is all he needed for him to pick up the book and scan the pages, eyes moving back and forth as he read a few paragraphs and noticed how familiar the sounded to him. He doesn’t realize how engrossed he is that MJ clears her throat. “You can borrow it if you want, although you don’t look like the kind of guy who reads this sort of stuff.” She teased, earning a small laugh from Peter.

“You’d be surprised.” He gives off a faint smile, checks turning red as he closed the book. “Would it be alright for me to borrow it? I won’t move your bookmark.” He said.

MJ chuckled while nodding her head. “You can borrow it, just make sure to give it back once your done. I want to know what happens next.”

Peter promises MJ that he’ll return it once he’s finished.

He doesn’t read it right away and instead waits until sunset when he’s getting ready for bed, finally getting the peace and quiet that he needs before he takes the book from his nightstand and stares at the cover, growing nervous by the second until he finally decides to open the book.

Peter spends the entire night reading Y/n’s writing and realizing that his story is a reflection of their past relationship only with a few changes here and there, but it felt like Peter was watching a movie about his past and the things that both he and Y/n did together. He remembers the amount of drafts and ideas that Y/n wold show Peter and how he struggled to write a good story. He remembers Y/n telling him that he wanted a story that his readers would actually enjoy a story that will pull them in to the point where they are begging for more.

The story is written in Y/n’s perspective, obviously using a different name for the character he’s writing about. It’s the way that the words are perfectly written for him to understand and remember those days of them being together. It all came crawling back to him as he nears the end only to find out that the ending was different.

Instead of both characters breaking up the story continues on with Y/n’s perspective of his life in college, not giving much detail about what happened to the relationship and ending with him finding joy in writing. Which leaves Peter questioning himself, why?

When he completes the book he sets it aside sitting in silence and thinking about everything that happened between the two. He thinks about the first time they kisses, their first date, the first time that Y/n convinced Peter to sneak out to a party, the time that Y/n snuck inside Peters bedroom window as the two snuck around like teenagers would.

He also thinks about their break up and how scared he was to even look at Y/n when ending it between the two.

It was obvious that he still loved him and after twelve years he couldn’t let go.

—

Peter shouldn’t be here.

He shouldn’t be at this convention when he clearly told himself that he’d keep his distance and yet, here he stands in a line full of fans that came to see Y/n and get their books signed. His hand gripped a copy of the book, growing anxious each time the line got closer only to chicken out every time he gets close and head back to the end of the line.

His anxiety washed away every time he got to the back of the line and did this almost five times until the line was cut short when announced that this was Y/n’s hour before leaving, meaning that Peter couldn’t turn back nor could he avoid confrontation. His heart raced as the line moved closer, keeping his head down in hopes of avoiding getting attention. He found out that he was the last one in line which would make the whole situation less awkward between the two.

He wouldn’t be holding anyone back and could leave whenever he can without a problem.

That was until his turn came up.

After the young girl in front of him gets her book signed and goes along her day he noticed Y/n turning around in order to get another marker due to the last one running out of ink, not noticing Peter when he approached the table. He slides the book in front of Y/n and when he turns back around his focus is on the book first, smiling as he flips it open.

“Sorry about that my last maker ran out and had to get a new one! But, good thing your the last I’m in no rush!” He chuckled out, being friendly as always as he flips to the front page where he signs his name. “who am I signing this for?”

Peter hesitates.

“Peter Parker.”

He noticed Y/n freeze mid signature, looking up slowly to face Peter.

After twelve years Y/n hadn’t changed a bit, his hair was still the same and so was his sense of fashion, remembering when he was teased for wearing a coat the minute fall started even though it wasn’t even cold outside yet.

The two stare at each other in silence only for Peter to break the tension between them. “I liked your book.”

Y/n blinks at him, focusing back on the book and clearing his throat while he nods. “Thanks…” He finished signing the book and closed the cover, sliding the book back to Peter while avoiding eye contact.

Peter wanted to wince, but it was expected. He ended things terribly between them and didn’t blame Y/n for avoiding him. As he reached out to take the book back into his hand he lets his fingers trace over the binding the tension between them growing even more as they remain silent amongst themselves.

“Why did you end it like that?”

Peters question gets Y/n’s attention, finally looking at him with a confused look. “What?”

“The story, why did you end it like that?”

Y/n licks his lips. “Because I thought it fit well.”

“Even when you know what the ending was really like?”

Peter wasn’t trying to judge his writing or criticize the ending, he was simply confused as to why he ended it when him sounding like everything was fine when in reality the ending would have been different if he had added their break up into it.

Y/n doesn’t know what to say, remaining silent as he stands from his seat and tried to keep himself distracted by cleaning up his area and pouting things away. “Why does it matter?”

“Because I know what its really about.” Peter speaks up, taking a step forward and setting the book down on the table as he watched Y/n collect his things. “You’ve showed me your writing before and I know how much you like being honest in your stories—“

“Not everything has to be true.” Y/n blurts out getting Peters attention who gets cut off mid conversation while looking at the man that he knew loved to write stories with passion who’d quickly pull out his phone the minute an idea came to minute and would note it down for later.

“What do you mean?”

His question causes Y/n to really look at him. “Yes, the story is about us and yes I changed the ending, but that doesn’t mean that everything is true. If you want the truth then I am more than happy to tell you the truth.” He glares at Peter while shoving his jacket inside his bag. “The truth is that I was miserable in college, I hated that place and the people who were there with me. I didn’t care for anyone and I stopped writing for years because every time I sit down and pick up a pen and start writing I can’t help but think about you all the time and that stupid smile on your face. I found it hard to visit my family knowing that you lived just a few blocks down.”

Peters heart races when listening to his explanation.

“So I figured, why not write our story the way I always thought it would be like?”

By the time he was done talking he had finished getting his things, giving peter one last look before leaving, brushing past Peter and making his way towards the exit while Peter stood back and watched. He felt like he was losing him all over again telling himself that it wasn’t worth it and to move on like he has been in the last twelve years, but after reading his book after getting the truth as to why he wrote it he knows he can’t sit back this time and watch as the person he still loves slip away from him.

So, Peter is quick to react. He’s rushing after Y/n and running out of the bookstore, looking both ways until his eyes land on Y/n who walked further up ahead. He’s running after him, chasing down the man and grabbing him by the arm and he pulls him into an alley way, perhaps not the best place but the only one that can give them some privacy from the public eye.

“what are you—!?”

“I’m sorry.” Peter cuts in.

“Peter—“

“No, let me finish.” He cuts in again, this time letting go of Y/n’s arm. “I’m tired of running and I’m tired of letting the best thing get away from me. I know what I did to you was horrible and it was the most dick thing I could ever to do and yes, you should be mad at me and you should hate me for it, but I never stopped thinking about it. You have no idea how many times I wanted to reach out and apologize but every time I thought about it I couldn't help but think about how I ended things and I regret everything about it.”

Y/n sighs softly, eyes softening as he leans back against the wall. “Then answer me this, why did you end things?”

Peter froze, the familiar fear crawling back to him.

“Because I.,,” He couldn’t speak. “Because I was afraid to lose you if I told you the truth. I was afraid that you’d possibly stop liking me or end things with me first before anything else.” He was rambling at this point knowing that he wasn’t telling him everything and was still avoiding the truth.

“Peter,” Y/n’s voice is enough to bring him back. “The truth, now.” His tone grew stern, glaring this time.

Peter sighs in defeat. “I didn’t break up with you because of you going to college, I broke up with you because I was afraid of telling you that I’m Spider-Man…” He finally says the words, finally revealing the truth. He expects Y/n to laugh at him or perhaps walk away without a word only to hear the most jaw dropping thing ever.

“I knew.”

‘you knew—how?”

Y/n laughed at Peters shock. “Peter I was always paying attention. I knew that something wasn’t right when you grew distant with me and I didn’t realize until I found your suit hidden under your bed. I didn’t want to believe that my boyfriend was Spider-Man until I started piecing everything together.” He explains to Peter. “You were always late to our dates, ditching classes which you never do, I even noticed the amount of muscles you gained when we were in gym together.”

Peter blushed at the last statement not realizing how much Y/n stared at him each time he changed in front of him.

“If you knew why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to freak you out and instead I decided to wait until you were ready to tell me…and this is the results.” He points a finger between the two, realizing that this all caused them to break up even when he already knew. Peter felt even worse now that he knew the truth, wanting to punch himself and feeling ashamed of himself.

While Peter cursed at himself for everything, Y/n speaks up with a small smile on his face. “So you thought about me?” Peter blushed at his comment. “Yeah.” He answers honestly, staring at the man who chuckled. “You wrote a book about me.”

“Technically it wasn’t about you it was about us.”

“Still counts,”

Y/n can only laugh which makes Peter smile feeling like teenagers again. Their laughter and smiles bring them back memories of their time together and perhaps they can make new ones

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