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Beezlebub: Talking about your feelings is SO important, I wouldn’t do it but you guys definitely should
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Charlie: My dad is so cool. He taught me shadow magic today. You guys wanna see?
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Satan, mid-fall: I may have been the shittiest fuckup cowboy in Heaven, but at least I fell with my boots on
Satan: *realizes boots are on the wrong feet*
Satan: Aw tarnation
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Satan: Great time to be a hater, many things suck and many people are stupid
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Lucifer: *sigh* she’s probably committing crimes right now
Mammon: Who is?
Lucifer: What are you, a cop? Piss off
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Leviathan: I scare people lots because I walk very slowly and they don’t hear me enter rooms so when they turn around I’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me
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Mammon: Stop calling me a bad person just because I’m orchestrating your downfall
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Ozzie: I’m a boy in a sluty way and a girl in a scary way
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Lucifer, after finding out how Katie Killjoy treated Charlie: May I approach the bitch?
Charlie: What did you say?
Lucifer: I said may I approach the bench? What did you think I said?
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Lucifer: Actually I deserve to have glowing red eyes and teeth a little sharper than normal. I earned it.
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Satan: I’m full of rage but in a very chill and nonchalant way
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Ozzie: I don’t “struggle with same-sex attraction” I’m actually very good at it
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Satan: I can get behind murder but I draw the line at misogyny
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Beezlebub: Oh well *drinks pure vodka*
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Mammon: Okay, I ruined your life but didn’t you have fun? Exactly, relax.
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Angel!Lucifer: Hey do you - stop screaming I’m sent by God - do you need help out of this situation?
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