Haha lol some people need a reminder so THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG. DONT FOLLOW IF YOURE A MINOR.

God damn bro

Jed after a long day.

SFW pure fluff.

When Jed arrived home- at your home, you live separately because he insists upon it. "Don't want to intrude." He says even though he sleeps there nearly every night now. Anyway when he gets to your house after work he doesn't announce himself. You're busy cooking dinner, something simple, something easy and quick enough for anyone to do.

You don't hear him coming up behind you. He doesn't want you to. He whispers a small "Don't move." And it startles you of course, his voice husky and low directly into your ear where there once was silence. So obviously you flinch a bit and turn your head to look at him but he corrects you, using his left hand to reach around and put two fingers on your jaw to gently push your face back forward to focus you back on your cooking.

He moves his left hand to your waist, holding you gently while slipping his thumb into the waistband of your pants but not bothering whatsoever to go any further. This is where you turn off the burner on the stove and push the pan to the back burner. He moves his glasses to sit above his forehead before his right hand starts at the small of your back, his large calloused hand almost covering all of it. He slowly slips his fingers under your shirt. It's not malicious, you would know if it was. His right hand slides around to your front, resting in your stomach. He gives a little tug, thats all it took for him to pull you back flush to his front. He let's out the smallest sigh through his nose and hides his face in the crook of your neck.

"I made food." You murmur, to which you get an almost dismissive, deep grunt from Jed. You're quiet for a moment before asking, "You hungry? I can make you a plate?" He doesn't even answer. You feel him grimace, his nose scrunched and eyebrows furrowed at the thought. He felt more nauseated than anything. Then he slides his hand away from your hip and your stomach before he stands up straight, leaving cold to linger where he once was.

He doesn't say anything before walking over to the couch and plopping down, his left arm hanging over the side as of dragging against the floor. You were a little worried. He would usually at least tell you if he wasn't hungry. Usually he doesn't even know if he is hungry until he sees the food but this was no such case. You watched him lay on the couch, not bothering to even properly take his shoes off, simply putting the tip of his shoe above the heel and pushing them off as he smooshed his face into the cushion.

You tiptoe over, not wanting to bother him to much but he still hears you. He hears just about everything you do. You asked him how he could do that once and he didn't really respond. You now realize that he actually diverted the question at the time. His eyes flick up towards you as you kneel down beside him. He stares at you. It's almost chilling. You started to prefer when he couldn't keep his mouth shut. God, it seemed like he was hunting you. It also seemed like he was tired. You gently put your hand against his cheek, gently stroking it with your thumb. If he was surprised he didn't show it. He stopped staring at you, finally diverting his gaze to the couch cushion beneath him. He can tell you're going to ask a question. Its written all over the worry in your face. He seems annoyed by it but you never were able to figure out his emotions too well. Just as you open your mouth to speak he speaks first. "M'fine. Just tired." He paused for a moment. "Been a long day."

You get the feeling he doesn't want to talk about it. So instead you quietly ask, "Can I sit with you?" He sits quietly for a moment as if confused about your question before he sits up, about to sit up all the way until you stop him, putting one hand against his head and the other on his shoulder, encouragement to stay in his half sitting up and half laying down position he was in. Then you slid yourself onto the couch and promptly forced his head into your lap, not aggressively of course yet surprising him anyway.

He's silent for a good moment, pausing before scooching up closer to you. You take his glasses off his forehead and lean over him to set them on the coffee table, to which he is enthused to be pressed between your thighs and your stomach. You think you even see a smile tug at the corner of his lips. He moved his hand off of the floor and onto your knee, inching closer to your thigh. You run your hand through his hair and he let's out a heavy sigh. Looking at him reminds you of a dog really, you're sure if he had a tail it would be wagging stupidly right now.

You turn on the TV and sit there for a good while. Only halfway into a movie does he start talking about his day. You don't interrupt and instead respond with small hums of acknowledgement or inquiry unless prompted to respond. A "yeah?" Or two tossed in for good measure. He seemed to be feeling better after a while but not even two movies in and he's asleep? Snoring like he's never slept in his life. And in his defense he rarely does. You let him stay on the couch until you finally convince him to go to bed.

He doesn't care about you and probably never will but there are times where you make him think he does. There are times that you make it so he's not thinking at all. He's not thinking about murder for once. It's nice. For a moment. Until that itch comes back a moment later and actually feels like himself. It makes those moments pretty fuckin nice.

Sorry for lack of posts I have writers block rn lmao

Danny canonically forgets to eat.

Whether he actually gives a damn about you and actually cares about you or not he still is thankful to have you around to remind him.

If you cook for him then it's even better. Gets mildly annoyed if you interrupt him while hes working to give him a plate of food but then upon seeing food his body will remind him that he hadn't eaten and his anger will immediately subside.

If you cant cook? Thats fine too. You guys get take out more often than you would like to admit. Sit on the couch and eat together while watching whatever movie you two had decided on. More often than not he will fall asleep in the middle of the movie. His stomach is full, hes been working all day, comfortable on the couch and he is clonking out. Snores pretty loud though. It's a struggle to get him to get up and be awake enough to make it to the bed. He will probably sleep in his work clothes on accident. May even just give in and insist on sleeping on the couch because he doesnt feel like moving.

Danny canonically forgets to eat.

Whether he actually gives a damn about you and actually cares about you or not he still is thankful to have you around to remind him.

If you cook for him then it's even better. Gets mildly annoyed if you interrupt him while hes working to give him a plate of food but then upon seeing food his body will remind him that he hadn't eaten and his anger will immediately subside.

If you cant cook? Thats fine too. You guys get take out more often than you would like to admit. Sit on the couch and eat together while watching whatever movie you two had decided on. More often than not he will fall asleep in the middle of the movie. His stomach is full, hes been working all day, comfortable on the couch and he is clonking out. Snores pretty loud though. It's a struggle to get him to get up and be awake enough to make it to the bed. He will probably sleep in his work clothes on accident. May even just give in and insist on sleeping on the couch because he doesnt feel like moving.

I'm sick so heres some Danny when your sick rambles.

As Danny hes like, not interested in you at all. Not even a little. He's taking care of you but theres no love in it at all, it's all begrudgingly to keep the peace. He doesnt know how to cook so expect canned chicken noodle soup that he somehow fucked up. He spills the soup on you when bringing it over to you and you're not sure if it was an accident or not.

If he's Jed though he will be a lot nicer, significantly as fake as it is. Kisses on the forehead, tucking you in and bringing you medicine all that good stuff. Watches you from a distance to make sure you're doing okay like in a chair across the room. He will be like reading or something until your asleep then hes shamelessly staring and looking over you. Hes so silly like that.

My brain keeps running back to the idea of Danny's first time having sex sooo

Gender neutral reader, nsfw, incredibly brief mention of overstimulation that doesnt even go into detail. Probably has typos and probably isnt formatted too well but I'm just getting thoughts down.

I imagine he wouldnt be too focused on it during school. Seeing as his dad sounded super strict and awful he was probably more focused on school work. Not to mention he was most definitely a loser. Is he pretty? Sure, doesnt change the fact that he was too quiet and got caught staring all the time but once he graduated and was free from the pressures of his father- y'know.

I imagine he would be nervous but wouldnt show it. He wouldn't admit that he's never had sex before so hes sloppy, incredibly sloppy. He doesn't know how to move his hips, where to put his hands- not to mention his doesnt know where the clit is at this point. He is incredibly touchy though, not even in a groping kind of way. In a just barely grazing their skin with his fingertips kind of way. Until it's not. He gets more used to it and starts to get a bit more bold, using his full palm, getting more and more greedy. He starts groping eventually of course but he's starting to want to taste. He uses his mouth. Soft kisses that get hungrier until hes biting, not knowing exactly how to give hickies but hes leaving marks regardless. Hes groping at their thighs, holding them close while he nips at their throat, imagining bitting a chunk out of it. That's what gets him going. Now hes not thinking right. Hes thinking of another design about the person hes with, thinking about killing them and leaving them on display for everyone to see. Thats what's really giving him a hard-on. Not the shitty porn star-ish moans that are reverberating in his ears, no, hes imagining them gurgling, choking on their own blood but- ah. His thoughts are interrupted by the slightest touch on his cock, eliciting a slight grunt of surprise from him.

He tries to take the lead but his movements are so sloppy and poor that he ends up being the bottom, getting ridden instead. He's fussy and loud, scratching at their thighs as he holds back tears from overstimulation. Hes not thinking about his partner during this at all, mind completely blank, only ever thinking about himself. He's muttering useless pleas under his breath that are coming out as incoherent nonsense, tilting his head back and groaning deeply- he doesnt last that long. Maybe 7 or 8 minutes. He doesnt feel bad. Hes ready to go another round but his partner is ultimately left unsatisfied anyway.

A quick Danny head canon: his mother taught him how to sew before she passed. Not on purpose. He just watched closely from a distance as he typically did. She just figured it was him being bored. Eventually she called him over to teach him a few tricks.

His first costume was messy. Very messy. The kind of costume his mother would shake her head at and if he were still as young as he was when she passed she would set him down on her lap and teach him how to do it properly.

His biggest problem was not measuring or using patterns, a bad habit.

Now He barely ever has time for new fancy costumes but if a design sparks such great inspiration he'll break out his old sewing machine he took from his mother and start sewing up something new.

jed olsen is such a pathetic man and i love him for it

Trans Danny Johnson head cannons. NSFW so y'know. 18+ MDNI

He's very abnormal when taking his T shots. Hes way too in to it. Wouldnt doubt if he had to jerk off after he took it everytime.

Doesnt know how to shave so when he does he gets cuts everywhere!!! Would love if you helped him and would love even more if you were to accidentally nick him with the razor and if you did hes rubbing his legs together use an excuse of "just full of so much energy!" But you know better. Hes always working and only eats when he remembers which isnt often, he's exhausted most of the time. You let him live that lie though.

Hes sensitive. REALLY sensitive. Gets overstimulated easily and is so easy to please. The type to cry during sex, getting embarrassed after and claiming he didnt but his red, bloodshot, puffy eyes betray him.

Anytime you touch his top surgery scars he goes nuts silently, suppressing noises and what not.

Guh.

Thinking about trans Danny Johnson. I dont think he would be trans but if he were... barking and screaming I'm ugh... maybe I'll do head canons.

Um um um some Danny Johnson drabble. Head canons? Idk. this is my first time writing please dont hurt me. I'm ashamed that it's a stupid coffee shop thing but yk. These are Gender Neutral btw!! Mildly suggestive? Not really?

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So first off his coffee order is either super simple or super extravagant, no inbetween. Hes pretentious about it either way. You order something simple? God that's boring. Order something super complicated? Can you just fucking hurry up? And that's IF he goes to a proper coffee shop, I imagine this prick goes to a gas station if he's just ordering for himself.

With that said though, he wouldnt drink just straight black coffee. It would at least have cream and sugar, when hes feeling particularly fancy he would put in like... I dont know, hazelnut flavoured creamer? And that would be as special as it gets.

If you worked at the coffee shop he visits and he was into you he would either try and make your job easier or more difficult to make sure he can spend as much time with you as he can. He's a selfish bitch though so expect the latter rather than the former.

You dont like him? Spit in his coffee? He will try desperately to act like he didnt notice and drink it normally in the shop, trying not to seem like a freak. His eyebrows furrowed and biting his lip a bit as he contemplates whether he should even drink it in the store but as soon as he leaves and he is in his car he is all over that cup. Drinking it like hes never had a drop to drink in his life, licking and biting the rim of the cup as if it were your bottom lip like the fucking freak he is.

Someone is taking too long in line? Hes contemplating their murder while he waits but he wouldnt necessarily act on those thoughts. Just something to feed the brain while he's forced to sit still. The person in front of him typically never sparks any inspiration for his design anyway.

He will end up becoming a regular. If he were to order strictly simple orders like coffee with just sugar and creamer for months he would eventually order longer orders, just to sit and be around you for longer. If you comment on it with something like "Wow, Jed. I didnt take you for a frozen peppermint mocha coffee kinda guy." He would say something along the lines of "Just trying to branch out a little." Giving an almost dry laugh, edging on being genuine just because it's you he's being fake to. He doesnt drink that sugar coffee by the way. Just. Pours it out. At some point he did try it but he didn't like how sugary it was.

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Um that's all I have for now. I know it's super unorganized and the punctuation and grammar probably isnt the best but I'll work on that. I'll also work on my aesthetic I guess? Idk.