genderfluid-existence
Hello, I'm genderfluid
A digital journal chronicling my experience being genderfluid, bisexual, questioning, young, and dealing with internalized enbyphobia.
| they/them | 18 | genderfluid/bigender | bi | questioning aro |
Sometimes I also reblog queer positivity posts and other queer folks' experiences being queer.
I love getting asks and messages, so be sure to get in touch!
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[Gender ruins everything]
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i see you all talking about "gender envy" this and "gender envy" that, but i never see any respect for the originals. the pioneers. the founding fathers.
#millooooo#maybe im just attracted to him#definitely do not identify with that Thinness(tm) but the rest of his vibe oh my
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Cw: illness, death, etc.
Me: if I were diagnosed with a terminal disease today and told I only had a short period to live I'd socially and medically transition immediately. It would probabaly be my first thought to be honest.
Me: *buffering wheel*
Me: ........oh.
#well isnt that......interesting#this is really a fancy way of saying im held back by regret and like we alreafy knew that sis lmao#but yeah#oopsies#the pronelm wjth this#is that i could die today#and even if i live to 80 or 90#that still isnt that long in many respects#so basically i have no excuses 🥴🥴🥴🥴oop#gender#gender questioning#transition#oh dear boys lol#cw: illness#cw: death#oh and also my second thought would be#ah but people sometiems live way past when their doctor says they will#like#litterally finding every possible way to fear regret lmfao sO thats where im at howre you folks 🥴🥴
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Genderfluid culture is being absolutely delighted when your friends ask you what your pronouns at the moment are!
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people who spent a long time questioning their identity, what resources/books/etc. did you find comforting or validating during that period of your life?
or, if you're currently questioning your orientation or gender, what brings you comfort right now?
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I don’t remember mentioning here that I was setting up a transition fundraiser, so it may come out of the blue, but here it is. I also want to thank everyone who already donated, I honestly didn’t expect such a quick reaction.
P.S. You don’t need my permission to share this, if anything I’d be all too happy, sharing means a lot.
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tbh the way corporations profit off gay ppl is super shitty and we all know it but also seein like all the pandering must be so fucking wild to the legit LGBT elders. like imagine growin up gay in like the 1940s and now theres like, gay doritos
#i recently heard a really compelling observation from a 30 something gay guy about this that frankly shifted my whole perspective!#so yeah personally i think this is super important#obviously if youre creeped out by corporations and profit motivated capitalism ans especqilly hypocrisy i cant argue with that#however! i dont think the world would be any better if companies did nothing for pride#i dont care if its hollow! it is a hug banner of support#cause yknow....companies hold power in our country#which again.....not so great#but!!on the whole i fully support companies changign their colors for pride and shit and i dont think its fair to claim that compamies#should stop altogether
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Gender Hypotheticals (Part 2)
6. Imagine there’s a test that can conclusively determine your gender.
What gender would you hope for?
Would you try and skew the answers?
Which way?
7. For the four parts of this hypothetical, imagine you’re stranded on a deserted island, by yourself, with no hope of rescue.
a. You find an abandoned town and enough supplies to live in comfort. What would you wear? Would you present masculinely? Femininely? Neither? A mix of the two? One way some of the time, another way the rest?
b. You later find a lifetime supply of hormones, with perfect instructions for use and dosage. Would you take them?
c. Later you stumble across the room containing the two buttons from question 3. Which button, if any, would you press?
d. You also stumble across the machine from question 5. Would you use it? If so, what would you change?
8. Imagine you take the perfectly accurate test from question 6, and the results are “Mild gender confusion. Not trans; do not transition.”
How would that make you feel?
9. Imagine you take the perfectly accurate test from question 6, and the results are “Trans; begin planning transition.”
How would that make you feel?
The Orchard is a Discord server that exists as a safe place for gender questioning and gender expression. If you're questioning or just want a supportive community, come hang out with us!
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Anyway I think everyone should know that your gender and/or your understanding of it can change over and over again.
I first came out as nonbinary and then I came out as a trans man and then I was a nonbinary trans man and now I’m nonbinary again and that’s cool with me :)
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Gender Hypotheticals (Part 1)
These are a few hypothetical questions to ask yourself if you happen to be questioning your gender identity.
1. Imagine you discover a magical button. Pressing it will change you into another sex, painlessly, with everyone else understanding and relating to you as the associated AGAB. The button will break after you press it.
Would you press it?
2. Rather than the above, imagine you discover a different magical button. This button erases any and all doubts you have about your gender - from now on, you will never doubt your assigned gender again. You will have no memory of finding this button or pressing it.
Would you press it?
3. Imagine you’re in a room with both buttons.
Which, if any, would you press?
4. Now imagine you see the buttons, but are instantly stopped by a guard, who says “You are obviously your birth-assigned gender; what are you trying to do?”
How would you feel?
5. Imagine you find a magic machine that lets you design your ideal body, and then changes your body to match this design. You can mix and match or omit and include anything from any body you like.
What features would that body have or deliberately lack?
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One thing questioning my gender has taught me is that after you answer the question "what gender am I?" the questions "who am I?" and "where am I going?" Are insurmountably more difficult to answer.
#pro tip for anyone just starting to question their gender! you might compeltely lose your sense of self so intensely that it has#a significant negative effect on your life and mental healht#:)#anyways :) i feel like im suffocating inside myself :)#cw: depersonalization#genderfluid#nonbinary#gender questioning#i honest to god have no idea how to express how i feel right now#like im dysphoric like god!!!!!why am i not a man but also#im not a man#that woudont be me#but ah christ am i actually me or is this my cissona#like what is me and what is this dysphoric feeling#is that me#spoiler: i have no idea who i am and its very distressing lol
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unironically the mindset that saved my life
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Am I a man?
I don't know ;)
That's a little secret ✨ that I'm hiding from myself ;;))💕💕💕 xoxo
#it is 11 pm and i shohld be asleep but this thought came to me#shitpost#i dont think im a man#at least not all the way#but also i have some man tendancies huh#but idk#because somehow i seem to defy by own observstion#this post is sarcastic in a way because i am!!afctually very distressed and baffled by the fact fhat j cant figure myself out#but alas#;;))) self secrets hehe💕💕💕💕💕 /s#goodnight folks
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Created for Leslie Feinberg’s Transgender Warriors, featuring characters from Dykes To Watch Out For
Alison Bechdel © 1996
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putting other people before your own happiness squad rise up
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*folds your gender up into a little paper airplane & tosses it off the empire state building*
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