sweaty...

System of a Down came out with new music for the first time in 15 years so I have been listening to Genocidal Humanoidz on repeat all day.

my first r18 post that I have inked

personal union

by my bestie ch_robots <3

ch_robots once again hitting me with the matveri

ch_robots giving me delicious matveri content. thank you i am blessed

eri’s wedding kaftan is made of white silk with gold oak leaf pattern as usual and black feathers intertwined. Black sheepskin cuffs, and then feathers down the front, shoulders, and back. The back forms a wing-like veil/shawl that attaches to his arms and outstretch to full effect.

I maaay have him cut his hair for this?

When the German Empire and the Ottoman Empire jointly attack the Russian Empire in WW1, Erivan thinks that Matvey, as a military commander, would have been privy to knowledge of a joint declaration of war. He doesn't know how secret the treaty was, and in his hurt and anger, he lashes out at Matvey, thinking he's been betrayed. 

Eri only knows that GE is Prussia’s brainchild, and so he assumes that Prussia and his military was behind this in some way, not considering that Prussia would hide this from Matvey (in hindsight, it makes sense, since Prussia cannot guarantee Matvey wouldn’t warn RE so might as well not tell him). GE is so much more powerful than Erivan knows, and he is all the more dangerous because he does not care for anything that stands in the way of his ambition.

This war means that Erivan will be recalled by RE to defend the homeland, and there is a high chance he would be kept at the new front with Germany or ordered to do the unthinkable (assassinate the love of his life) so he leaves before RE has a chance to order him to spy. Even his final act in Berlin is to protect Matvey, as emotionally taxing as it is. He rides the 2.5k miles back home to protect Armenia and join the Caucasus front, hoping he'll never have to kill a German, hoping Matvey will never have to see him like this.

I'm gonna have to write a fic of their last night together, aren't I? desperate kisses, possessive clutching to clothes and hair, silent pleas for... forgiveness maybe? but eri leaves in pre-dawn and takes little with him, just his heart.

my first practice with prismacolors. Erivan on top. Republic of Armenia beneath.

In my headcanon, Armenia is as close to Erivan as a daughter or younger sister would be. He sees to her wellbeing. They write often. She stands up to two of the most frightening men of the century. He dies for her. She saves his life and repays the debt from when he gave up his title for her.

AU where mat's the god of war and death and eri is the oracle for his shrine who ppl approach to see if its a good time to battle while the other priests are charlatans taking money in exchange for fake luck, and mat is NOT HAPPY to see his shrine defiled so he has to come down.

Mat shows up in glamour demanding to see his priests and they're all like "you need to pay if you're trying to arrange a funeral" and Mat's fucking outraged that they're making people's family members PAY for funerals of those who died in battle so he just incinerates them

i love incorporating national foods and drinks into headcanons for a countryhuman's fav food, and apparently for Erivan, he loves apricots and drinks cognac (yes, cognac! France allowed Armenia use of the name because their submitted brandy won in a French competition)

Unleashed!Erivan is his ultimate guardian form, not something for ruining whole nations. Its meant to be defensive, representing the fortress he protected for so long as a khanate, the Armenian fragments he protected for so long within himself, and his Armenian empathy. I feel like "true forms" tend to be skewed toward power-ups instead of protection modifiers so I'm trying to break the mold here and not have Erivan's unleashed form turn into this monstrous thing capable of destroying armies. His purpose has always been to protect others. Sometimes i catch myself thinking about how cool it would be if he thought Mat was dead and switched to unleashed, and I have to remind myself NO ITS NOT A POWERUP! HE'S THE GIVER. HE DOES NOT CHANGE TO ATTACK. He would change to take Mat's pain upon himself but not take revenge.

which is why he doesn't obliterate Ottoman Empire off the map in my story. Its not about that but about saving his people from the agony they're enduring, and saving the two different CountryHuman Armenias from suffering so badly they can't run their own regions.

more thirst tweets

i just gotta say... First Republic of Armenia is a badass woman. She has thousands of letters from Erivan over the years he was in Berlin, and so she knows Mat because of those, and even though Eri was so incredibly hurt by GE's alliance, Armenia would've vouched for Mat to him. She would have talked to Eri everyday despite his condition. She would have told Mat to come see him even though he's not lucid at all. She would have stood up to anyone because she learned from Eri how to protect people, and she has so much at stake that she doesnt want to lose. armenia letting mat read some of the letters  things he cant say because of mat's rank, things he cant say because of their unequal positions, things he could only say to her about how he felt, how much he ached, how his feelings changed over the half century.   

i know the eagle in her coat of arms is because of RE and the old Armenian Empire's insignia, but i love the idea of Armenia honoring both of them when she takes her independence and immortalizing them being together.

sexual tension meta between Prussia, Matvey, and Erivan under the cut

1. PruEri. Papa tests the equipment. Non-sexual bondage: restraints, keeping him in one position for a time, whips, seeing how he responds, etc. Eri isn't the only one, just the most durable. Pru would consider keeping him if not for his accent.

2. PruEri. Papa brings his mount under bit, reins, and saddle to break him in, see how bombproof he is. Does he spook? Can he ride easy and even or is he a challenge, spirited even under the crop? Can he be ridden without guidance or does he need to be spurred in the sides?

3. PruMatEri. Test ride. Does the mount respond to all riders equally or can only a confident jockey use him? Will he throw his rider if unattended? Can he focus on the tasks at hand, charge forth, and not be intimidated by foes in front and behind? Can he be commanded to attack?

4. MatEri. Official presentation of all the mounts of choice. Each mount must be shown in perfect form, his or her quality displayed for all, and late demonstrate their riding aptitude. Very much like an emperor picking amongst his concubines and sending them away later.

5. MatEri. There's a variety of reasons why Mat claims him, but after he's chosen his mount and makes him a fixture in his household, the tension begins to intensify now that he sees the man everywhere instead of summoning him to his quarters. Eri trains with the others in the courtyard so Mat sees him sweaty all the time, hair sticking to his neck, and he's constantly reminded of OTHER TIMES eri looks like that. Sometimes Eri is scheduled to dress him, clean his quarters, wax his floors, polish his boots. idk how Matvey can tolerate seeing Erivan laughing and joking around with the other guards and then having to sober up when the herald announces THE PRINCE HAS ARRIVED. Does he get so fucking jealous having to deal with his bodyguard who's been trained to be stoic around him? Russian Empire being an autocrat means they trained Erivan to never question a royal decision, to never argue or disobey, yet they could never extinguish the golden flame in Eri's eyes, the eyes that scorch Matvey whenever Eri is the first to lift his head up from his bow. Goddddd, Matvey gripping Eri's chin and craning it up just so he can look at those eyes.... Eyes that burn for him.        

6. MatEri. At some point, Mat is gonna trust Eri more on a personal level, like maybe Eri finds out about a political intrigue scheme and gives Mat the opportunity to blow it wide open, or maybe Mat's jealousy makes him perform some dubious consent and Eri takes him so deep.  The next day Eri shows up to be his valet as if nothing has happened, not betraying any outward sign that he's sore, but making it clear that he's been claimed, that he will be serving Mat personally from now on instead of splitting his duties. I think from this point onward in the story, he'd be at Mat's right hand, sleeping in rotation with the other guards but always being the first few to attend to him whenever needed. And because they are together so often, sometimes they let their walls come down in private.

Part of me regrets choosing Erivan, and I knew he was part of Armenia before I started, and I still chose him because I felt Armenia was not represented enough. Yet, what he has to suffer because of his guardian aspect... I'm sobbing. I regret looking at this page. 

For this mer AU, I'm keeping his ethnicity and using the Black Sea for location, and I'm... I'm horrified because I chose to have him fall into the sea and be drowned and this is just... its exactly what happened a hundred years ago except 50,000 people not 1 man.  I.. wasnt going to have his fall be an accident either, and of course i went to see what the Turks did and yes... they used the Black Sea too amongst other ways and Im horrified, Im so fucking disgusted at what they did.  I would have never known if it hadnt been for SOAD and CH.

I want to be respectful of this horrific act and also have realism. The balance is a fine line. Do I avoid mentioning it and make his ethnicity a side detail... or do I face the horror head-on and accept everything that he is with all of the consequences. It's heavy. I know this.

not to romanticize the russian mafia or anything but im daydreaming at work about erivan in modern clothes wielding modern weapons and being known just as "The Armenian" -- an enforcer who collects his boss' money and does bodyguard duty at a distance to make sure nothin's sus