who is the shortest in the archives?

ARCHIVIST: Let’s be quite clear right now: this is massively unprofessional.

oh god the jon is actually 28 post bamboozled me so much like wtf he isnt even in his 30s?? before realizing that tma actually progresses through the years and he's aged since then ajzbsnsmdk. still, jon being canonically 33 in 2020 is... wow

he’s

he’s just so young

he’s gotta be the youngest of the archival staff at least

he took the archivist job thinking it was being given to him because he was reliable and responsible and tried to act accordingly and it was really just because he was,, because he w.  hghhhhhhhh

and just. like georgie told him, he had no real experience and elias knew that, but “well if you’re at the top, there’s no one to tell you you’re doing it wrong”

What does it take to teach a bee to use tools? A little time, a good teacher and an enticing incentive. Read more here: http://to.pbs.org/2mpRUAz

Credit: O.J. Loukola et al., Science (2017)

She told him to walk through a door. And even then, with so much of his mind shut down in panic and terror, he trusted her. And he went inside, closing the door behind him.

drew some tma stuff... will be reblogging to my main also. 

In this essay I will

im sorry but the assistants absolutely found out jon was an orphan in the worst way possible. it’s a winter day, it’s five past nine, jon’s late. martin’s worried and tim’s convinced he’s died. suddenly he bursts in the door, sopping wet, hair limp and plastered against his face, suit absolutely sodden. sasha looks at him and starts laughing, tim goes oh gee you look like some poor little victorian orphan and jon just turns to him and goes actually i was born in the 90s so i’m only an orphan. tim not only has to handle the fact that jon is actually an orphan and he made fun of him for it (that’s a dick move right?) but jons also younger than him

s1-2 tma is just

Jon: this is the fourth statement mentioning spookyman scaryname

Me, with a terrible attention span and an even worse memory:

I was trying to figure out which fear would correlation to embarrassment and humiliation and I was like "oh fuck obv the Eye" and then like supernatural knowledge bestowed upon me, I instantly Knew that Elias held mandatory staff talent shows under the guise of teambuilding and it is his patron's most delicious feast

the students in mag34 leave a note w the apple that say “bone apple teeth :)” and the prof is aware enough of the memes at the time to be like “okay so are they mildly normal” only to cut into it for it to truly be bone apple teeth

HEY GERRY...what's your favourite book?

GERARDI, uh… I, I think… I think Marx’s Capital.

ARCHIVISTOh.

knock, knock.

who is it, archivist?

it’s martin! and he’s brought you tea.

….the archivist doesn’t like it.

5 more minutes?

Hey Basira, what do you think of Ratner?

BASIRAOh! No, well, I don’t think of him, I don’t, I don’t think of anything.

Statement of Annabelle Cane, regarding hot choclety milk.

statement of tim stoker regarding my cringe boss in the fail magnus institute

if we break up i'm taking back the powers i gave you

elias bouchard is a BIG bitch. pass it on.

ARCHIVISTWill do.

[THREE GUNSHOTS. ECHOING SOUNDS.]