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cursed-sides · 4 years
Conversation
*texting in the group chat at 4 am*
roman: WAIT THROWBACK TO THAT TIME BERNIE SANDERS LOVINGLY FED ME VIAGRA IN THE BACK OF A SHONEY’S
janus: VIAGRA?????
roman: IT WAS A VULNERABLE TIME OKAY
virgil: go the FUCK to sleep
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cursed-sides · 4 years
Conversation
roman: do people who call logan daddy have rights?
virgil: no
roman: correct
logan, sitting right beside them:
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cursed-sides · 4 years
Conversation
patton: so it says for the recipe we need 2 tablespoons of butter. i think there’s some in the fridge
remus: you mean the salty cow juice sticks?
patton:
patton:
patton: you know what? sure
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cursed-sides · 4 years
Conversation
patton: so you have a dog and a cat!?
logan: no, just a cat.
patton, angrily: why.
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cursed-sides · 4 years
Conversation
virgil: ah yes, sleep deprivation and tik tok, the two genders
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cursed-sides · 4 years
Conversation
remus: *grabs his crotch*
janus: do... do you need to go to the bathroom or something?
remus: nope! just checking that it’s still there!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
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patton: *peels an orange, then proceeds to throw away the orange and only eat the skin*
virgil: *throws holy water* the pOWER OF CHRIST COMPE-
patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*
roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?
patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
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patton: *makes a sandwich with the bread in the middle instead of the outside*
roman, watching from behind a wall with logan: there’s no way he isn’t doing this on purpose to fuck with us, logan. i refuse to believe that he actually enjoys this
logan: *short-circuiting*
roman: miss keisha? MISS KEISHA?????
patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*
roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?
patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
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logan: *walks into the living room*
patton: *is eating uncooked spaghetti noodles from the box like chips*
logan, having a fucking conniption: hhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH-
patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*
roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?
patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
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patton: *grabs a banana and proceeds to eat it with the peel still on*
logan: patton you’re supposed to PEEL IT
patton, taking each end in one hand and going for the middle like a fucking chicken wing: what did you say, logan?
patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*
roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?
patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
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roman: oh, i didn’t know we had kool-aid!
patton: we don’t!
roman: then what did you mix into your water?
patton, conspicuously throwing a ramen noodle wrapper in the trash with the noodles still inside: what do you mean, kiddo?
roman: WHAT THE FUCK??????
patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*
roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?
patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
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virgil: *quietly walks into the kitchen*
logan: you can’t eat that much raw cookie dough, patton! you’ll get salmonella! 
patton: maybe you can’t! but i’m immune-
logan: immune?! you can’t be immune to s-
patton: yes i can! i drink eggs every day before bed-
logan: you WHAT-
virgil: *slowly backs out*
patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*
roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?
patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
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patton, preparing lunch: virgil, do you eat cheese with or without the peel?
virgil: peel…?
virgil:
virgil:
virgil: wait-
patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*
roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?
patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
Text
patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*
roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?
patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!
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cursed-sides · 5 years
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patton: so what have we learned about hiding our not-so-happy feelings?
virgil: *dabs gently but with emotion* it really do be like that sometimes
patton: No
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cursed-sides · 5 years
Conversation
logan, mumbling as he reads along: quoth the raven, “nevermore.”
roman: quoth the raven, “this bitch empty! YEET”
virgil: quoth the raven, “fuck shit up”
patton: quoth the raven, “i love you, bruh. i ain’t ever gonna stop lovin’ you, bruh.”
deceit: quoth the raven, “eat the rich”
remus: quoth the raven, “skate fast eat ass”
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cursed-sides · 5 years
Conversation
virgil: my clothes may be cheap, but at least my depression is designer
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