coffeepancakes42
Venice Bitch
Azriel and Cassian’s whore<3 Requests are open😵💫
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Thank you @bookish-whore for the tag💕💕
Fav color: Dark Green, Dark/Wine Red, and Black.
Currently Reading: Age of Reason by Jean-Paul Sartre.
Last Song: Cinema - Harry Styles
Last Movie: Twilight
Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweet
Currently Working On: Getting myself to write some more fics cuz I’m in such a bad writing slump:(
Tagging: @violet-shadows @gothicbabydollz @mrsazriel @azrielsstarling
TAG NINE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER!
thank you for the tag, @padmedala <3
fav colour: yellow
currently reading: call down the hawk (still… i keep getting distracted by fanfic…)
last song: two queens in a king sized bed by girl in red
last movie: corsage (i don’t expect anyone to be aware of austrian movie releases but yeah. a movie about empress elisabeth. it’s good! go watch it if you like historical movies but don’t mind deliberate anachronisms! it’s not a light hearted movie tho, deals with mental health issues a lot, so be careful there.)
sweet/savoury/spicy: sweet!
currently working on: my osemanverse big bang fic 😏
i’m tagging @kindaorangey @trebondialanna @ronoexiste @anbybeingcool @stuttertutter @phoneglow @lovednotrusted @elizaflamingo @emoryinaboat and anyone who feels like it <3
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Hi!! I saw your username and now I want coffee and pancakes. Thanks a lot for that🙄😉.
Anyway, You were never mine anyway had me in the feels. I loved it. 😍😍. Do you have anything new in the works?
So right now I have some ideas but I’ve taken a bit of a break to work on myself. I’m sorry I dropped off the face of the earth in the middle of Azriel week but I have some motivation to write some stuff for Cassian x Reader ( maybe some angst with him cause y’all eat up the angsty stuff I write, thank you guys for that btw) I’m also contemplating whether or not to continue Numb. Suggestions and asks are always welcomed and I look forward to writing some more stuff!!!! Love you all so much
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Ok so a lot of you guys were asking for a part 2 to my latest Azriel x Reader fic, Numb. I wasn’t originally planning on a Part 2 but if I were to write it what would you guys want to see? I’m open to all suggestions!
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Hey, Hey, L I S T E N
here, on this blog, you do not need permission to slip into my asks. just do it. even if we haven’t interacted before. even if you’ve sent 10 already. send me more. i love getting asks (in character or out of character) and yeah, i’m slow as fuck, but i promise you i will get to them. have at it, fill my inbox with memes or impromptu starters or just tell me how your day is going. it really doesn’t matter. just go ahead and do it. i promise, i don’t get annoyed seeing the same people in my inbox, actually it makes me happy because yAY MORE INTERACTIONS. so just do it.
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Numb
Azriel x Reader
Summary: You catch Azriel with the person he swore meant nothing to him
Warnings: angst angst and more angst, cheating, extreme thoughts of suicide
A/N: After getting a request for some Azriel angst I present you with this. Say two of Azriel week!
Word Count: 1.7k
You knew something was wrong when Azriel kept coming home late from the townhouse, little words spoken as he slipped into bed trying not to wake you. But little did he know you hadn't gotten a wink of sleep the past few weeks, your mind constantly racing with thoughts you desperately tried to push away. You couldn’t remember the last time Azriel had genuinely smiled at you, his eyes now caught on a certain brunette. But he had never shown you anything but unconditional love for the past 70 years, and that had to be worth something.
But it all came to a climax one evening. Azriel was set to return over three hours ago, but alas the Illyrian hadn’t even set a single foot into your shared apartment. Of course he had to brief Rhysand with his findings, but that only took an hour at the longest, Rhysand usually letting him go shortly so he could return to you. Huffing a sigh, you slip on your shoes and walk out the door, walking the familiar path to the new manor Rhysand had built Feyre. Restaurants were bustling with life, countless fae taking advantage of the last bit of warmth left before winter.
A newly mated couple drunkenly staggered out of a bar, their lovesick eyes sending a stabbing pain through your heart. God when was the last time Azriel looked at you with so much love? Your stomach twisted as you drew a blank. The last time you had seen Azriel so happy was when you had traveled to the manor to have dinner with the inner circle, your mate standing in the corner and smiling a rare smile at Elain Archeron. Just the mention of her name made you want to scream. She was everything you werent; soft, kind, and absolutely stunning. Tears pricked at your eyes as you realized this might be it; this might be the end of the once beautiful relationship you shared with your mate.
Arriving at the door of the sprawling mansion, you knocked twice before the door flung open by an adorable looking Nyx. Crouching down you scooped him into your arms, blowing raspberries into his exposed tummy. His loud shrieks of laughter brought Feyre to the door, her loving gaze focused on the little boy in your arms.
“Y/N how can I help you?” Feyre asked softly, her eyes kind but curious at the late hour you were arriving at. “Is Azriel here? He never came back home and he told me he was suppose to be home a few hours ago.” Confusion shone in the High Lady’s face. “Azriel has been here for the past couple hours, he said you were out of town on a trip.” At that your stomach dropped, and worry crossed Feyre’s face as she beheld your now pale face. Barging in, you briskly walked through the rooms of the manor searching for your mate.
It was a soft giggle from out in the garden that drew your attention. Creeping up beside the window that overlooked the gardens, you saw Azriel and Elain sitting on a bench, much too close together for your liking. Picking up a white flower that glowed in the moonlight, Azriel reached up and placed it in Elain's hair causing her to scooch closer. Bile rose in your throat as you screamed at yourself to look away, to avoid seeing what you knew was to come.
But you couldn’t, not as Azriel placed a hand softly on her cheek, and leaning down to place a soft kiss on her lips. In that moment, every suffocating thought and feeling you had kept hidden from the past weeks exploded, your walls not coming up fast enough causing your pain to fly down the bond to where Azriel's walls stood tall. You distantly saw Azriel stagger back from the onslaught of emotions, looking up to catch your eyes as you turned and practically ran out of the house.
You saw Feyre holding Nyx by the entryway, your tears alarming her as she jumped up and ran to see what you had seen. Feyre wasnt stupid, she saw how close Elain and Azriel had grown, but she thought after the warnings Rhysand and her had issued to th both of them they would stay away. But one look at the looks in both their eyes as they stood shocked in the garden told Feyre everything. Shooting a scathing look at the both of them she turned to get Nyx and alert Rhys of what had happened, your grief stricken face long gone from the entryway.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You didn't know where you were running to, all you knew is that you willed your legs to take you farther away from the wretched place behind you. You felt tears running down your face, probably appearing like a madwoman to the citizens of Velaris. But you couldn’t care less about what they thought at that moment. Pain crashed over you in waves, your heart shriveling and dying right in front of your eyes as you ran.
You didn't want to return to your apartment, you wanted to avoid the memories that would flood your mind at the sight of the place. But you needed to gather your things, and have time to think about where you could go. Arriving at the door, you ran to your room, a place you once felt the most at peace in when it was just you and your mate furled into one another while you listened to each other's heartbeats. Grabbing a bag, you stuffed a couple pairs of shirts and trousers, your vision blurry from the tears. Walking back out, your eyes scanned the kitchen to see if there was any food to take with you, your eyes landing on the assortment of knives you had for cooking.
You were the most calm you had been in the past few weeks as you approached the rack. Picking a smaller one up you saw what you could do. All of your pain, all of the pain you would feel in the future, the stabs to your heart you would have to endure whenever you saw them together; it could all go away right now. A crash at your front door pulled you away from your dark thoughts, Azriel’s silhouette taking up the entrance. He was panting, and pain lined his eyes. Usually you would rush to him, demand what was wrong and then take as best care of him as you could. But frankly all you wanted to do right now was to beat the ever loving shit out of him.
And he saw this in your eyes. “You could have just told me. You could have broken it off weeks ago. It still would have killed me but anything, and I mean anything, would be better than seeing that,” you say, desperately trying to make your voice sound more stable. Regret flashed in Azriel’ eyes, but as soon as it was there, it was gone, replaced by a black stare.
“I'm leaving. I’m leaving Velaris and I hope you never have a moment's peace. I hope what you have done here tonight haunts you, and I hope this bond never lets you forget how you broke my heart.” Standing straight you walk out past him but are stopped by his hand catching your wrist. A touch that used to make your stomach flutter now felt like a burn, wrenching your hand away from him as you take a final look at the shadowsinger.
“You have a life here. You can't just abandon it because we aren’t together anymore.” Azriel says, something like hurt flashing in his eyes at your words. Good. “This place is no longer my home. I’ll find a new place to call home and start a life there. I’ll keep in contact with the rest of the inner circle, but I’m telling you now, you will never see me again, Azriel.” And with that you turned, and readied yourself to winnow to the cabin you had in the day court, a private retreat only a few people in your life knew about.
Taking one last look at the city you loved, you winnowed away, leaving everything you once were behind you. Landing in your cabin, you immediately went to the desk you had, bringing out some old parchment you had, writing a letter to Feyre and Rhys, explaining your situation. Finishing it, you sent it directly to the manor knowing you would get a heated response in the morning.
Finally alone, you sank to the floor and screamed. You screamed and sobbed for the life you had just lost. For the love and romance you knew you would never feel again. At the bond that now sat empty, your walls blocking off any connection to Azriel. You sobbed until you couldn't anymore, your head pounding against the wood floor as you lay there, staring into the darkness of the cabin.
You willed the floor to swallow you whole, to take you away from this life, this pain. Your limbs felt weighed down by some invisible force that had set out on crushing you. Slowly, you felt all emotions and thoughts ebb away, a numb static feeling consuming you, washing out everything you once were. Color seeped away from your vision, a gray version of the world now left. Closing your eyes, you allow sleep to consume you, praying to any god that would listen that this was a dream, a sick, twisted nightmare that you would wake up from in the arms of your mate. The harsh feeling of wood digging into your skin was the last thing you remembered before slipping into the clutches of sleep.
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De-stressing
Azriel x Reader
Summary: After a long mission, you help Azriel de-stress.
Warnings: none
A/N: Sorry this is so short but apparently it's Azriel week so I’ll try to post something each day and hopefully much longer than this! Send requests for whatever you would like to see with Azriel!
Laying on the sofa, your book lay discarded on the table in front of you, your excitement for Azriel’s return making it impossible to focus on the words in front of you. Hearing the front door open, you hop up to greet your mate. Leaning against the door, you can visibly see the exhaustion and stress that wracked his body, his wings drooping behind him. He smiles softly as he sees you, embracing you as you reach up to place a soft kiss on his mouth.
The dirt and grime covering his face and leathers is hard to ignore, so without a word you take his hand and lead him to the bathroom. Azriel watches you as you begin to remove his leathers, undoing the buckles and laces that hold the intricate plates together. Once he is gloriously naked you help him into the bath that had filled on its own, the magic of your apartment filling it with steaming water.
Letting out a deep groan as his body hits the water, you grab a stool and seat yourself behind your mate, lathering your hands in soap and grabbing a washrag to start cleaning your mate. Sighing Azriel melts into your soft touch as you drag the rag across his powerful body, covering him in lavender scented suds. Washing him off you grab shampoo and dump an impressive amount onto your hands. Massaging his scalp, Azriel lets out a deep groan at your skillful hands, working out the knots that had been created from his flying. Finishing his hair, you lean forward, resting your chin on his shoulder.
“Do you want me to clean your wings?” You ask softly, placing a kiss on the side of his jaw. At his mumble of confirmation, you place your hand on the powerful membrane, heat staining your cheeks as you see the effect your touch on his wing has on him. Softly dabbing at the dirt that had covered his wings, you begin to hum a tune that your mother had once hummed when she wanted you to rest. Out of the corner of your eye you see Azriel’s head droop, and soft snores begin to echo throughout the room. Smiling at his vulnerability, you begin to place featherlight kissed along his strong shoulders, waking him out of his much needed sleep.
“All done,” you whisper, standing to grab a towel to cover him in. His hazel eyes meet yours, a soft smil coming to his face as he stands wrapping the towel around his waist. “Thank you my love,” he says into your forehead where he had placed a kiss. Grabbing a pair of his underwear, you toss it to him, leaving him to change while you get into bed. Humming contently as you see his powerful body move towards you, Azriel climbs into bed and under the covers, pulling your body against his. Placing one final kiss to the crown of your head he whispers, “Thank you for taking care of me, love.” Placing a kiss to his bare chest as a response, you are finally lulled to sleep by the heartbeat of your mate.
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I want to post something, what would you guys like to see😳😳 I’m thinking something with Cassian x Reader but I’m always down for some Azriel x reader.
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Literally me when I logged on and saw I had reached 200 followers
Thank you guys so much it means the world to me that you all actually like my writing you’ve been amazing!♥️♥️♥️
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Voice of an Angel
Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: Anxious for your sirt night singing at the infamous Rita’s, you accidentally catch the eye of the High Lord’s Shadowsinger.
Warnings: suggestive thoughts?
A/N: I’m not even that sure if Rita's had live music but I’m gonna go out on a limb and imagine it does:) I’m also imagining the reader's voice to sound something similar to Lana Del Ray’s voice; very dreamy and wispy if that makes sense. Also I did not proofread so I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes.
Word Count: 1.3k
Sighing you look yourself up and down in the dressing room directly behind the stage at Rita’s. How you had managed to land this gig you didn’t know, but when a kind looking woman approached you after one of your performances in a sleazy bar and offered you it, you had leaped at the opportunity. You smoothed your hands over the black velvet dress that clung much too tightly for your liking to your figure. It was a simple dress, no gems adorning it or any particularly revealing parts, but you loved how it looked.
Your anxiety was through the roof, your hands shaking as a fae woman appeared, announcing it was only minutes until you were up on stage. Everyone knew Rita’s. It was the classiest and most high end bar in Velaris, and also happened to be one of the favorite spots of the famous Inner Circle. Since moving here, you had only spotted them a handful of times, but gods were they intimidating. You would never get used to how at ease they were strolling through the town despite their deadly abilities and power. You prayed that they would decide to have a quiet night at home in the sprawling mansion the High Lord had built.
Nausea creeped into your stomach at the idea of having to perform for the High Lord. You were only used to singing for the handful of drunkards that roamed into the shithole bar you had sung in. But the kind woman who had spotted you insisted on your talent, and had rather shove you into Ritas to show off your voice. Despite being a singer, you never quite came over the stage fright you tended to get, your naturally shy personality never helping with it either.
Taking one last look at your dress and makeup, you stood and made your way to the entrance of the stage. Lights going down, the countless fae that had been seated in the tables surrounding the stage quieted, watching as you made your entrance. Hushed whispers could be heard, most confused about the new fae that was performing. Holding the mic stand to stabilize yourself, you made the horrible mistake of looking up at the audience, your eyes immediately finding the booth in the back that was currently occupied by the High Lord and his friends.
Taking a breath and hearing the piano start in the background, you let your eyes close, blocking out all other distractions around you as you focused on the notes that you had begun to sing. Your voice floated over the crowd, intoxicating everyone with your sweet dreamy words, fae unknowingly leaning their bodies more towards you, taken by the sound. You had begun to sway to the words, letting your body move on its own. Opening your eyes as you sang, you were taken aback by the attention that each and every person was giving you. You had been in a fair share of bars with live music, and most people listened but continued on with their meals and drinks.
But not now. No, everyone had their eyes on you. The stares gave you a bit more confidence as you belted out the last few lines of the song, your eyes traveling over the tables, and finally resting on the boot in the back. Your eyes snagged on the shadowsinger, the painfully beautiful man barely visible through the shadows that were resting on his shoulders. His eyes glowed a beautiful hazel as you continued to stare at one another, taken by each other's beauty.
Finishing your song, you gave a small bow as the crowd loudly cheered, your heart jumping at the approval. Making your way backstage, you did a little hop of excitement at your success, knowing that you most likely just secured a permanent position at the high end bar. Your mind couldn't help but travel back to the moment on stage when you held eyes with the shadowsinger. Azriel was his name, plenty of the women and men in Velaris had talked about him around you while in the bookshop you worked at during the days, and nothing that they were saying was appropriate for a bookshop. His large wings had framed his muscled body and you wondered what he would look like on top of you.
Your stomach was filled with butterflies as you recalled the fire that had entered his eyes as he caught yours, his loud clapping as you had finished, a small smirk coming to his face as he had beheld your slight blush that had tinted your cheeks once you realized he was smirking at you. Snapping out of it, you laughed at your feelings, afterall there was no way you could have actually caught his interest, you were only a small-time singer that entertained people as they ate and drank. But still, the idea of drawing the shadow singer's attention away from his friends for even a second gave you a confidence booster like you've never had.
Slipping on the long coat you had brought with you, you went out the back door and made the trek back to your apartment.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shit. That’s what he was in. Deep deep shit. Azriel knew the second he saw your velvet clad self slip onto the stage you were not going to be like the ordinary fae of Velaris he saw each day. He nearly became rock hard as he heard your voice, the words spilling like honey out of your mouth. God you had the voice of an angel. His shadows had begun to flit excitedly around his shoulders and neck, whispering details about you he couldn’t see from how far away he was. He distantly saw Rhys and Cassian exchange looks as they beheld the stricken look on his face. Quickly covering it up with a mask of cool indifference, your eyes had found his, making his breath hitch.
God he felt like a young horny teenager, not being able to control his feelings around a woman. A smirk made his way onto his face as he saw the effect he had on you. At Least he knew you also felt something as you saw him, a cute blush dusting over your features.
Cute? God what was happening to him, he sounded like a lovesick child, admiring their crush. His cock twitched as you bowed, your cleavage coming into view as you bent over. The most unholy of thoughts came across him as he saw you leaning over, but he forced his mind to stray from his train of thought as he brought his hands together to loudly clap for you. Already deciding to send his shadows out tomorrow to gather as much information as they could on you, he found himself disappointed as you walked backstage instead of coming out to mingle in the crowd.
Taking a hearty gulp of the whiskey he had been clutching much too tightly, his eyes left the spot where you had been to bring his attention back to the people beside him. Catching Rhys’s eyes, they twinkled with mischief as his brother so easily read his feelings. Standing up, Azriel made some lame excuse about having to catch up on some reports, he made his way out, desperately needing fresh air to clear his mind of you. But the images of you and the sound of your voice wouldn't leave his mind, no matter how hard he had tried to force them out. Making his way back to the house of wind he knew he had to go back to Ritas to see you again, and hopefully get the courage to speak to you.
A rare smile had graced his features. For the first time in a while his thoughts were not occupied by someone who he could not have. No this time, with her, he could see a potential future, someone to call his own. But for Mother's sake he had to learn her name first.
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You were never mine anyway Pt.3
Warnings: mentions of unrequited love and issues of self image
Summary: You and Azriel have a talk that might be what you need to heal.
A/N: This got so emotional…anyways I’m thinking this might be the last part or I have one more that would be a bit more 18+ but it’s up to what you guys want!! Thank you so much for blowing this fic up it means the world♥️
Part 1 Part 2
Word count: 1.7k
Sitting at your kitchen table, you watched the powerful Illyrian in front of you whip up some scrambled eggs and toast. You were shocked and warmed by the domesticality of it all, and wanted so badly to sneak behind the spymaster and wrap your arms around his waist; putting everything that had transpired in the last few months behind you.
But you knew you couldn’t. Not yet. Not when you were still mentally and physically reeling from the abuse you had put yourself through for the last year. Your mind wandered to when you had woken, tucked into your bed, Azriel in an uncomfortable position in the chair next to you. You had taken a second to admire his soft features, how harmless he looked when he was sleeping, his usually tense posture relaxed, and his stoic face now had softened.
You had remembered seeing him at your doorstep, a wild look of need running through his eyes. The weight of the bond, your instincts screaming at you to run to him had become too much, collapsing onto the floor, but not before Azriel had caught you, holding you close in his arms. Letting the exhaustion that had seeped into you throughout the day overcome you, you practically passed out there in his arms.
After you had woken, you demanded to know how he was here, what had made him come to you now. So he had told you everything. His conversation with Elain, and the break off of their marriage. You had felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude to the middle Archeron sister. Gratitude for letting your mate go, for understanding.
Brought back to reality by the mountain of eggs that was placed in front of you, you looked up, meeting the soft gaze of your mate. “Eat. You need to rebuild your strength,” he said, guilt flashing in his eyes as he beheld your small frame, and gaunt face. He couldn’t believe that he had let his own mate make it to the state she was in, suffering in such plain sight.
Sighing, you picked up your fork, and took little bites as to not upset your stomach. Afterall, your recent diet had consisted of hard liquor and little food. You felt Azriel watching you, unsure of what to say. Placing your fork down, you looked up, tired of his eyes boring into you with so many unsaid words hanging inbewteen the two of you. “I can feel you wanting to say something, so just spit it out.” Your tone had come out harsher than intended, but you also knew that the suffering you had indured could not be forgiven by a breakfast.
You felt his apprehension down the bond as he walked towards you. Stopping barely a foot away, Azriel did something you knew few, if any, had seen him do. He kneeled. Looking up at you, he removed his mental sheilds, crumbled all of his walls that had once stood so high, guarding himself from the rest of the world. But for his mate? For the stunning and ethereal being infront of him that he had so carelessly hurt? He would demolish any walls that had shielded him off.
Taking a breath he began, “I know I have hurt you. My stupidity and unwillingness to see the bond that had been shining so brightly in front of me for so long, brought you unbearable pain. And for that, I do not think I can ever forgive myself. And I would not blame you, if you were to turn me away and never forgive me. But I would hate myself even more if I was too much of a coward to not tell you how I feel. The truth is, I always believed I was too damned, too sullied by the things I do in the name of this court, to be able to have a mate. To have such a deep and loving connetion to another’s soul that I shut out the possibility entirely.”
At hearing the shake in his voice you raised your hands, and placed them gently on his head, threading your fingers through his soft hair, a sign that you were willing to hear more from him. Relaxing slightly, he continued. “From the moment I met you, I had felt something stir inside of me. Some deep connection that I felt towards you. But I had decided before even letting myself get close to you that I could not have you. That you were too good for someone like me. So I tried to carry on, but you were never far from my thoughts. Slowly everything that was you seeped into my dreams, into my mind until I could not longer take it. I was so sure that you felt nothing for me that I begun to look elsewhere, to find someone that could distract me from you.”
“Then came Elain. And after the war, I had decided I needed to help her readjust, to help her heal from the trauma of being turned into fae. And I found solace in the attention she had given me. I started to think that maybe she could be the one to help get over you, of the life that I had secretly wanted with you. And so I let myself believe that I was in love with her, and I think on some level I was. But when I saw you, when I felt the bond snap into place, I knew I couldn’t continue on with her. I knew it would be unfair, the bond would follow me wherever I went, and the idea of a life with you would consume me.”
“Elain had known about the bond as I explained earlier. I remember leaping into the air, willing my wings to bring me to you faster than ever before. I knew that you needed to heal, that I couldn’t just sweep you off your feet and kiss you until I was gasping for air, despite my instincts screaming at me to do so. But by the Mother, all I wanted- all I needed was just to see you. To know that what I was feeling was real. That this wasn’t some sick dream I would be woken up from at any moment. I’m sorry for not seeing you suffer, for not feeling the bond earlier. But- if it is what you want- it would be my honor to help you heal, to be by yourside, whether you want me as a friend or as something else. But it is your choice. If you want to kick me out, I won’t fight. Mother knows you’ve earned the right to kick my ass. But please, let me atleast help you, because you are the person that I love more than anything, and I will dedicate every second I have left in my life to showing you it.”
You were practically shaking at his admission. Azriel, the man you had torn your sanity to shreds over, loved you. The powerful spymaster had been brought down to his knees, tears threatening to spill from his deep hazel eyes. You wanted to slap yourself, to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Because you had been dreaming of an admission like this for so long. Hesitating, you debated your reaction. You knew he meant it when he said he would let you throw him out. But the truth was, not a single bone in your body wanted that. Not after his words, not while you knew every thing he said was true.
You had felt it through the bond. His memories of you, his emotions. You knew he had layed himself completely bare for you, and spoke only the truth. Tears had begun to fall from his eyes, and in that moment you realized that in all of your years of knowing him, you had never seen him cry. In that moment, the numbness that had overcome your life began, albeit slowly, to fade. Little by little you felt lighter, your head weighed less heavily, making you feel more free than you had in months. It was small, but a start in the right direction. So you had lowered your mental shields, let your dreams of Azriel flow to him; your most cherished moments with him shining brightly.
He shuttered, burying his head into your lap, his wings drooping, splaying out behind him. He was a picture of vulnerability, baring his heart to you. Taking your hand, you tilted his face up to yours, and brought your head down, touching foreheads with him. Pressing against you, Azriel lightly nuzzled his nose into yours, the action bringing a small smile to your face. Leaning forward, you brushed his lips, then returning to fully press your lips together. The bond was singing, our emotions and thoughts crashing into each other like waves on an angry sea. The kiss brought peace to your once aching head, the tenderness of it making you feel things you hadn’t thought possible anymore. Going against his roaring instincts, Azriel had let you lead the kiss, understanding as you pulled away after only a second.
But that second was the most important second of his life. Leaning your head against his once more, you found your voice, barley above a whisper. “I want you with me, to be by my side as I recover. But I need time. Time before we take this farther. Because I want to take this farther, to be with you in every way. But I’m still taking this all in. This bond that is no longer one sided. I love you, Azriel, and one day, maybe in a few months or a few years, I’ll be ready to accept this bond, to accept this life with you.”
Closing your eyes, you let yourself bask in the moment, in the love that was seeping out of Azriel. You let it warm your heart, allowed it to chip away at the ice that had formed around it. Raising his head, Azriel placed a small kiss on your forehead. Rising onto weak legs, you held eachother, knowing it meant more than any other thing you could have done. It was a symbol of patience, of knowing that no matter how long it would take to for you to be restored to your former self, you would wait for eachother. And one day, you could both indulge in the shining futures you had seen with eachother.
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cassian with a size kink is all i gotta say
You ask, you shall receive.
Tiny
Warnings: No proofread, smut duh, vulgar language, filth, fluffy ending.
A/N: I feel like most size kink fics make the reader really small and petite, but tbh I think no matter your size you are tiny standing next to Cassian so imagine this however you want:)
Word count: 1.2k
Standing straight against the wall, Cassian braced his stupidly large arms on the wall next to your head, caging you in. His towering height made you tilt your head back just to get a glance of the Illyrians' beautifully rugged face. His scent surrounded you as he leaned closer, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. Moaning into his mouth, the lacey underthings you had recently bought to surprise him became soaked with your arousal. A growl tore its way out of his mouth as he inhaled the scent, and with ease Cassian crouched, wrapping his arms just under your ass, and picked you up.
Whining as he pulled away from your lips, he unceremoniously threw you onto the oversized bed, one fit for an Illyrian General. As if you could not get wetter, Cassian’s manhandling of you turned you further on. His size was large enough to dwarf anyone, and you knew it made him rock hard seeing you so small under him.
Leaning down onto you, he grabs your shirt in his hands, and in one powerful move rips it in half, leaving you exposed except for your lace clad pussy. Grabbing your face, he looks at you, fire swirling in his eyes and coos, “You look so pretty under me like this. So small compared to me. I could break you so easily, split you right in half on my cock.” His words send shivers up your spine, his hands traveling up your torso, coming to hold your breasts, his calloused hands rough against the sensitive skin.
Breathing hard you look up through your lashes, reaching up a hand to drag over his abs, traveling downwards to the tent in his leathers. “And if I wanted you to break me? If i wanted to be spilt in half as you fuck me?” Your words triggered something in him, snatching your hand off of him, he began to tear off his leathers, leaving him gloriously naked.
Practically jumping on top of you, he laid kisses down your body, his mouth coming in contact with your cunt, pushing your panties to the side as he licked long stripes up your folds. You released an embarrassingly loud moan as his nose bumped your clit, your legs snapping shut around his head, causing him to moan. You swore Cassian’s favorite place was in between your legs, buried into your heat. You pulled his hair, signaling you needed him.
Huffing out a laugh, he raised his head, making eye contact with you. You wanted to capture the moment forever, to keep this image of him tucked away in the back of your mind to think back on in the future. “So greedy. You ready to take my fingers, pretty girl?” His nickname for you caused you to let out a breathy moan, a smug look entering Cassian's eyes.
Taking his hand, Cassian pressed the tip of one of his fingers on your entrance. “Please Cass, please I need you inside of me right now,” you begged, needing more than the tip inside of you. “What my girl wants, she gets,” was all he said as he pushed a single finger inside, quickly adding another as your moans increased.
Stretching you out, he curled his fingers, hitting the spot he knew so well inside of you, your climax growing closer and closer as he continued his ministrations. “So tight and tiny for me, sweet girl. I don’t know how you manage to take my cock in this tiny pussy of yours,” he whispers, entranced by the sight in front of him.
Adding a third finger, Cassian sped up and the tightening in your stomach became unbearable as you reached your high. “That’s it, let go of my love, I’m right here.” Cassian’s words were the last push you needed and your back arched off the mattress as your juices gushed over his hand.
Catching your breath, you watched as Cassian stuck his finger in his mouth, sucking your cum off of his fingers, releasing a low moan at the taste. Crawling back up your body, his lips captured yours, tasting your juices on his tongue. Reaching a hand down, you grabbed his thick cock by the base, pumping up and down, spreading the precum that had gathered. Surprised by your touch, his hips jerked into your hand, his head falling into the junction of your neck and shoulder. Placing kisses and love bites up along his now exposed neck, you lead his impressive length to your entrance.
Taking the lead, Cassian sinks into your cunt, groaning at the sensation. Gasping at the sheer width and length of his cock, you felt as if you might truly split in half. “You're so big, you fill me up so good,” you moan, knowing how your words drive Cassian crazy. Pulling back, he snaps his hips back into yours, the tip of his cock brushing your cervix, making you tremble at the feeling.
“So, so, small under me, so beautiful,” he grunts out as he continues pounding into your poor pussy. By this point in your relationship you had realized how his large size next to you turned him on, and he was never afraid to bring that attraction into the bedroom.
“Look,” he breathes out, his gaze traveling down to see your lower abdomen moving as he fucks into you. Watching the stomach bulge he had created, you truly think you had never seen anything so hot. “Do you see how small you are compared to me? Your pussy is so small you can see my cock bulging in your stomach.” Cassian almost cums at the sight, but he knows he wants to last longer, to wrench another climax from you before he finishes.
Leaning back, he grabs your legs, throwing them over his shoulder, and reaching a new spot inside of you. Your legs shake violently as his hand travels down to play with your clit, your climax building. Your moans heighten, that and your tightening cunt telling Cassian how close you are. Taking your hand, your fingers thread together, letting your love for one another flow through the connection between your hands, a surprisingly tender moment despite the rough movements.
Reaching your climax, you tighten impossibly around him, triggering Cassian’s own release. The feeling of his hot cum filling you up causes your climax to heighten, the sounds of both of your moans mixing filled the room. Feeling the final spurts of his climax, Cassian rolled to the side of you, trying not to crush you under the weight. Removing his now softening cock from you, he watched as a mixture of your juices leaked out of you, his cock slightly twitching at the sight. Laying down, he wrapped his arms around you, bringing you close. Burying your head into his chest, you placed soft kisses along his oversized pectoral. Placing one last kiss on his body, satisfied with your markings you left, you raise your head intent on placing one last kiss on his lips for the night.
“I love you,” he softly admits, his words warming your heart. “And I love you, Cassian, more than anything.” Placing a soft kiss on the crown of your forehead, he tucks you under his head as you both drift into the peaceful calm of sleep.
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Are you going to do a part 3 of You Were Never Mine Anyways???? I’ve been dying to read more!
I’m working on it now I’m just trying to figure out how I want to continue it! Any ideas feel free to comment!
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Masterlist
This is my ever-growing masterlist! I hope to write for more fandoms than just Acotar but for right now it’s what I’ll stick to.
*= Smut ^= Angst ~= Fluff != Suggestive
Acotar
Azriel x Reader
Numb ^
De-stressing ~
Voice of an Angel !
Azriel NSFW Headcanons *
You were never mine anyway ^
You were never mine anyway Pt.2 ^
You were never mine anyway Pt.3 ^ ~
Perfect ~
Cassian x Reader
Obsessed ~ !
Tiny * ~
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I rlly want to write more for Cassian so send in some of your amazing ideas for inspo😳
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Azriel NSFW Headcanons
Warnings: NSFW content so 18+
A/N: I think I’ll write some more 18+ headcanons so feel free to request a character you would like to see be written for in the request box or the comments.
Word Count: 1.1k
- Ok first off this is addressed in almost every smutty fanfic with Azriel but man is a freak. Like a freaky whore.
- I’m also writing this as if you’re already in a relationship with him because while I think he would be crazy freaky in general, some of these things I don’t think he would do on a one-night stand.
- I’m convinced he has a corruption kink and loves to make you beg. Like tears streaming down your face (in a good way tho), begging for him to continue to touch you.
- I feel like because of this he doesn’t have sex as often as you would think by looking at him, I think he would wait to find someone who is into the things he is or is at least comfortable trying them out.
- On that note, if you’re not as into the rougher stuff he will definitely be ok with that, but if you are he will go batshit.
- He is, and I am positive, a tits person (who isn’t tbh). I don’t think he cares about the size or what they look like, he just loves touching them, sucking on them, and fucking them<3
- And if you're down for it, prepare to not leave that bed for days, especially if you guys are mates, like I think he has so many fantasies he wants to play out that when he finds someone who is into it, he’ll spend all day figuring out what you both like.
- Foreplay gets him off, like he loves making you cum more than once before fucking you. And you’re most likely not gonna get those orgasms without him pulling away multiple times to edge you more before giving in.
- Also I think this goes without saying but when he fucks he doesn’t half ass it, boy destroys you(if that’s what you want of course).
- Not only do I get the vibe from his overall persona but given that his whole job is based on what others need him to do, he is definitely a dom in bed and if you try top him he’ll most likely just watch and laugh at your futile attempts.
- Talking about personas, all this man needs to do is give any woman one ~look~ and panties = dropped.
- Like it was literally said in the books he doesn't need to resort to spouting poetry, like the man has his shit on lock.
- When it comes to positions, he definitely is into a doggy position and loves to arch your back so he can see your face as he fucks you.
- Also when you ride him and he can see your tits bouncing as he fucks up into you…his mind explodes.
- I think if you were to make some gesture that you were completely his, it would take all of his power to not fuck you like a complete animal, especially with all the Illyrian urges flowing through him.
- Thinking of Illyrians, his wings are a huge part of pleasuring him. I think if it was a one-night stand he wouldn't love you touching his wings because they are so sacred, but if you're in a relationship it would drive him crazy.
- Like I’m convinced with all Illyrians that if you just stroke or lick a couple specific parts of the wings they will cum right there in their leathers.
- Also I know he loves some lingerie. Especially if it's black or the same blue as his siphons…his mind cannot function. Extra points if you're wearing it on a night out with your friends.
- Speaking of nights out, he definitely likes to have his patience with you pushed, whether it be if you keep giving him sultry looks and touches, or wearing a skimpy dress that lets everyone see basically everything.
- He loves whisking you away from the public, to go punish you for teasing him so much.
- On the note of punishment, Azriel lives for it. Like a whole collection of shit for brat-taming and bdsm shit.
- Handcuffs, blindfolds, vibrators(if there are vibrators in this world I never know), and most likely some sort of crop or something to slap your ass with.
- Another thing he utilizes every time you have sex is of course his shadows. These little shits will literally do everything and anything. Like depending on the vibe they can serve as restraints, but I think most of the time when Azriel is going down on you, he’ll use them to play with your nipples and get you even wetter.
- Speaking of going down on you, Azriel eats pussy like there is no tomorrow. Like I think he loves his fair share of getting head, and a sloppy at that, but he also loves literally suffocating in between your thighs.
- His whole face will be coated in your cum by the time he resurfaces, and I have a hunch he would beg you to sit on his face. Like feeling your whole weight on top of him and just surrounding his every sense, blocking out everything else makes him want to die then and there, as a happy man.
- I also do think that there are days he likes to take it slow, and fully appreciate how you look and how lucky he is.
- On those nights it’s definitely in missionary position so he fully sees you, face twisting in pleasure.
- I think he would fuck you slowly, hard strokes still, but in a much more relaxed pace. And he would most definely cum and crumble on the spot if you grab his hands and hold them as he fucks into you, extra points if you lay kisses all over them. Like he despises his hands and to see you worshiping them would be enough to fully halt his movements and just kiss you passionately, trying to convey through kisses how much it means to him.
- He’s definitely very aware that what he’s into can be a lot so he really values your safety and there's nothing more important to him than establishing safe words and asking if what he has in mind is in your comfort zone and not making you feel unsafe.
- Ok so obviously these things can definitely get you overstimulated and overwhelmed so something he exceeds at is aftercare!!!
- Like he will go the nine yards(as he should), and take you to the shower and clean you up, and then tuck you into one of his shirts and get into bed with you.
- He would go get a glass of water and probably a snack to get some food in you so you don’t pass out. And finally he would hold you, and watch as you fall asleep, wondering how the fuck he got so lucky with you.
- And in the morning(when you most likely can’t walk), he’ll bring you breakfast and make sure you feel well, and just hold you until your ready to start your day<3
THIS WAS SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT AND I STILL HAVE MORE HEADCANONS IN MIND
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You were never mine anyway Pt.2
Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel deals with his conflicting emotions and Elain has a confession to make.
Warnings: none
A/N: Thank you guys so much for your ideas they really helped me think of a possible outcome for the story. I think I’m gonna have another part that will most likely be the final part and I am definitely gonna have the reader heal and recover before possibly mating with Azriel (still deciding their ending). If you guys have anything you would really like to see from the story, comment your ideas! In the meantime I think I’m gonna write a few short blurbs so feel free to request something<3
Part 1
Word count: 1.4k
Azriel’s PoV -
Standing in the new apartment he had just purchased, a wave of emotions surged over him, clouding his vision and blocking out the voice of Elain next to him. How could he have never felt it? And why did the Mother did the mating bond, something he had been searching for for so long, snap into place now of all times?
Replaying the moment in his head, he saw her helpless face looking up at him, her eyes widening. How he wished this had happened years earlier. He would be lying if he didn't admit to thinking of her. Of her soft smile. Deep down he knew he had feelings for her, and strong ones at that. But after realizing she never would want him like that, he had set his sights upon new love.
Elain was lovely, there was no denying that. Comforting her during the transition into fae and helping her through her trauma after the war brought them closer than ever. What started as friendship blossomed into something else as Azriel convinced himself he loved her. But as much as he pushed the thought down, he knew that it wasn't her he was in love with. For so long he had gazed upon Rhys and Feyre, upon their happy loving relationship. His brother deserved it, as did Feyre, but that didn't stop the envy that crawled into his thoughts.
For a while, it was him and Cassian together in their struggle to find love. And then, after grueling months, Cassian finally found solace in Nesta, leaving him alone in his brooding. All he had wanted for so long was to call someone his own, to be able to go home and lower his walls he had spent so long building. So as Elain grew closer to him, he loved the feeling of someone loving him. He hated himself for it. Elain was kind and did not deserve someone who could never give themselves fully to her.
Bringing himself back to reality, he gazed down at Elain, who to his surprise, did not look up at him with hurt or with confusion. No, her gaze was filled with understanding.
“While this isn’t how I wanted our wedding day to go, I would be lying if I said I didn’t know that this is how we would end up.” My eyebrows shot up at the confession.
“Did-did you know that she was my mate?” My voice had stuttered, something that only a few people had witnessed.
Elain sighed, readying herself for the admission she had known she would have to make in time. “When we had first started spending time together after the war, my powers had shown me something. It was us. We were married and as we were about to leave, your mating bond snapped into place. I didn't know who it was, I only really felt its presence.”
Not being able to wrap my head around what she had said, I simply uttered the only question that mattered, “Why?”
“I knew I had only a limited time with you, but by the Mother I wanted to enjoy it to the fullest extent. So I let myself fall in love with you, knowing one day that this would happen. I’m sorry for not telling you the second I realized but I was selfish. I had wanted you all to myself and thought that maybe my vision would be wrong. That if you were to fall in love with me, somehow the mating bond would disappear after realizing you no longer needed it.”
A wave of emotions surged over me. I wanted to be angry at her for keeping this from me. IF she had said something, maybe right now I would be happily mated, never again having to be lonely. But I understood her in a way. Elain had just wanted love, the same as me. She had just been buying time with me until the inevitable had happened. And granted, she herself had struggled with her own mating bond, Lucien having retreated from courting her a long time ago.
“So where the hell does this leave us,” I ask, breathing out a sigh. My head hurt from the idea of having to explain this to everyone, but thankfully the number of people that had attended their wedding was small, both of them opting for a more quiet wedding.
Huffing out a small laugh Elain studied him for a while before answering. “I think that as long as you know of your mate’s existence, especially when she was one of your best friends, there is no way you can give yourself entirely to me. I love you Azriel, and a part of me always will, but I also know that I would never be able to be comfortable with you while knowing a part of you longs for the touch of another.”
Part of me was shocked at her maturity, at her understanding of the situation at hand. Running a hand through my hair I looked down at her, knowing the decision I had made.
“Elain, I admire you. I admire your strength and your kindness towards others, even when they might be in the wrong. I think what we had was a beautiful thing, but I know, as ugly and hurtful as it might be, that what you say is true. I don’t think I could fully be there for you, fully commit myself to you while knowing who my mate is. But I am truly grateful for you. I hope, in due time, we can both find love that we deserve.”
Elain’s eyes were shining with tears, but a dip of her head signaled she understood. Stepping closer to her, I wrapped my arms around her small frame, holding her and trying desperately to convey all the words I wanted to say.
Pulling back, Elain looked up, a more bittersweet look entering her eyes. “I think that somewhere across town, there is someone who desperately needs you,” she says, a small smile coming to her face. Stepping back, she clears the way for me to leave, and as I do, I turn, getting one last look at Elain, still clad in her white wedding dress. “I truly am so sorry. I wish in another world we could have had this, but I think this way, we can part as friends.”
Bending my knees, I shot into the air, Elain becoming smaller and smaller as I rose higher through the clouds. Letting the wind whip at my face, I started to head in the direction of her apartment. Finally, I allowed myself to fully feel the bond, letting it sing to me as I opened my mental shields. I allowed dark tendrils of shadow travel down the shining line connecting us, brushing them up against the dark wall at the end.
I knew we had to work through what had happened, but hope soared through my chest as I got closer to the apartment, allowing my feelings to flow freely down the bond. Landing at the doorstep I knocked twice before the door flew open. Standing in front of me, she was more beautiful than ever, bathed in the moonlight that shone down upon the two of them. But he took in her sunken cheeks, void of the color they usually held. Her body, clearly too skinny and weak, swayed in the door frame as she held on to the edge of it for dear life.
The weight of the bond had become too much, as her weak legs gave out. Luckily, Azriel had moved fast enough to catch her in his arms, his head burying into the crook of her shoulder. His instincts roared at him to kiss her. To satisfy the urges that came along with the mating bond. But one look at her and he knew she needed time. Time to heal and regain her strength. In that moment he swore, even if it was to take decades, centuries, he would wait for her. He would wait until she was comfortable with him once more, until she was comfortable with the idea of being with him, mating bond and all. And if she realized he wasn’t what she needed and turned him away? He would let her heartbreak be damned.
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Ok a lot of you guys wanted a part two to You were never mine anyways which I’m totally down to right. I’m curious what direction you guys want it to go in though so comment what you might want to happen to get the ideas flowing for me!!
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