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I used to love being creative, but I just can’t do it anymore. Another thing that chronic illness has taken from me.
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Non spoonies don’t get it.
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Yep! 🤦🏻‍♀️
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Invisible illness
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Something that fully healthy people don’t really seem to understand about chronic health issues is what running on an energy deficit is like long-term.  It’s more exhausting than you can possibly imagine if you haven’t experienced it.
How does that work? Well, it’s sort of like this. Everybody has a certain amount of energy.  When you’re healthy and well-rested, you feel pretty good.  There are artificial boosters that give you more energy, too.  You can do all sorts of stuff.
When you get tired, you can still do some stuff but you can’t do as much and what you can do might suffer from lack of energy. Except that’s essentially your every day existence with chronic health issues.  You go to sleep tired, and wake up tired–sometimes more tired!
Your energy levels rarely reach “full”–that is, there’s few points where you are in a “well rested” state where you feel pretty good and have “normal” levels of energy.  You’re *always* operating in “low battery” mode rather than being fully charged, and you drain *fast*.
This makes doing basic tasks much harder than need be–things that drain a little energy you notice a hell of a lot more when you’re already dead tired than when you’re well-rested.  Like how when your phone drops from 10% to 9% you notice more than from 100% to 99%.
You can do some stuff–but you have an upper limit of what you can do that’s a lot lower than other people. And functioning while running against a deficit at all times means a *lot* of careful, conservative planning to husband your strength for when you need it most.
It means sometimes spending 30 minutes deliberating what you should buy when you reach the store because you’re trying to guess “will I have the energy to prepare this food after shopping?  Will I later this week?”  You hedge your bets when you can.
It means skipping out on a lot of stuff you’d otherwise love to do because you just can’t be sure you’ll have the energy to do it without landing yourself in bed for the next 3 days by pushing yourself to collapse. It’s depressing. And it’s exhausting.
EDIT: This post is for people with physical AND mental health causes for their fatigue and exhaustion, by the way! I know there are posts that really are meant only for one or the other and it’s rude to hijack them, but if you find this resonates with you then you’re welcome to it regardless of the cause!
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🙌
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When someone says ‘How are you’ it’s just easier to say ‘good thanks’. Even though it’s not true.
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Or just a shower!
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Your way
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Yep!
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🙌
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Easier said than done
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