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Long distance
By Thandiwe Grant
Don’t feel like I have a head
Don’t feel like I have a body
Cos my hearts gone
And taken all of me with her.
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Winter
- By Thandiwe Grant
I just had this burning feeling in my chest, like i had to be around you, much closer to you.
I can feel my feelings settling in, cementing, building like a bonfire
I’m burrowing into you for the winter
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High Tide
- by Thandiwe Grant
My original poem
High Tide
I have a thousand different faces
The only person who’s been able to see the true face
Has been you
And your accepted it
Lovingly
You’ve held me in your arms and you’ve rejoiced over me
Like I’m a miracle
I’ve never been someone’s miracle before
I hold you and it’s like the other stars go out in the sky you’re so bright
I think of all the ways my life could have gone, and I like this the best
Watching the ocean come and go
Whispering your name
Hearing your voice on the high tide
Calling me home to you
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Best friends - Pixie’s POV
I was an idiot before.
I used to think that being alone, doing everything on my own was the way to go. I mean, Dad is great and all, but, when he used to go to work, he left me to cook, look after Aaron, take him to and from school and do his and mine homework--it was a lot. But I was used to it, and frankly, I liked taking charge. I am and always will be protective of Aaron and sort of a mother to him, and I love my Dad so much, that, I will always be happy to help and be the adult if I had to. But I missed being looked after, I missed my knee being kissed when I grazed it, and having a steaming dinner waiting on the table for me. The days where my Mum was here for me, doing all those things.
But ever since I arrived here, in St. Marayan’s, met my Dad’s extended family, was enveloped by the community that is PSI, I realised how badly I’d gotten it wrong. I couldn’t just lone wolf it anymore and act like I didn’t care about my feelings or anyone else’s. Because now every sunday, I’m squashed on the patchwork blanketed cosy sofa at Walt and Trissie’s, Harrow squished on one side of me, Coco on the other. That annoying dog, Narwhal, is pawing at my knees, but I ruefully smile and stroke him anyway.
And sometimes, sometimes me, Coco and Harrow are free, because Dan or Kayla are nearby, and they don’t care what we do, they trust us, and Coco can fly us somewhere, or Harrow will drive, or we’ll just sit in the basement and Coco and Harrow will play the guitar and bass and I’m lost in their music and company.
I’m comfortable, and I’m happy, and for the first time, I’m not purposefully trying to sabotage everything.
#best friends#original character#all rights reserved#original story#self publishing#music#fictional band#found family
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Harrow’s love of music
Harrow’s love of music was almost completely because of his mother and sister’s obsession with music. Emma Chloton was a beautiful soul completely lost in the arts. She was always searching for inspiration for painting, she constantly had the radio on or was playing music out of huge speakers. Her shelves were stacked full of scripts for screenplays, stage plays, musicals, books on playing instruments, musical theory. It was Harrow and Trissie’s Haven growing up, fussing around in her music room, playing from her stereo, vinyl player, fiddling around with streaming websites on laptops, curled on the floor, headphones on. Trissie started her music crazed phase in her early to late teens, but ever since he was little, Harrow had loved music as much as his mother did. Even though they loved music, neither Trissie or Emma had the patience or the skill to stick with an instrument when trying to learn. They loved listening to music, all the time. But Harrow, ever since he sat up on his mother’s knee and discovered he loved hitting the tiny set of bongos she’d bought him for her third birthday, he realised he didn’t just love music, it was a part of him, completely intwined in his being. The way he felt when he first started playing music was the happiest he’d ever been. Greg and Emma quickly realised this and enlisted him in the best music lessons money could buy.
Harrow had grown up living and breathing music, and when he was six or seven, he started exploring all the different genres of music that called to him, outside of lessons, researching and listening to as much as he could. It wasn’t hard, with Trissie and Emma’s expansive collections combined, Harrow had everything he needed. Emma took him out to classical concerts, gigs, anything she could. Because tehy were such a famous family, it didn’t matter that Harrow was so young, they usually rented out a vip box or room where they could hear the musicians regardless, or sometimes they had private showings. As a result, Harrow’s room was covered with posters of bands, signed framed autographs, pictures of the greatest musical moments in history, ticket stubs and passes to all these different shows.
Being his best friend, Coco was completely exposed to his blossoming music obsession, and as a result became a little obsessed with it herself, and developed almost as good a taste in music as Harrow. She tried learning an instrument, but the only ones that really caught were guitar and bass, but she worked and worked on those two and became amazing. So that was what they did, they sat around and messed about with melodies, perfected lyrics together. Coco handled a lot of the technical stuff, as she was good with computers and the equipment.
Their joint dream began to form a band, and they roped Zack into that when they became good friends with him. Zack already knew the keyboard and a little drums, and they all jammed together. Songs that they already knew at first, and then they perfected melodies to the many many songs Harrow had half written and never finished. Kayla came on time to practice when they were looking for a singer, sang for them, and then that was that. They found a singer. They were a band. They called themselves Tye Dye Banana. Trissie was their biggest fan and their unofficial groupie. Maya even begrudgingly admitted that they were good. Dan liked listening in on them, but Harrow suspected that he just wanted to hear Kayla sing, Dan wasn’t a fan of rock music, he seemed more like an indie guy, though they were more indie rock than anything.
Whenever their families met up, everyone always requested they bring in instruments up and play them something. Harrow had played hundreds of times in front of his sister and Mum, and then a lot around Coco, then gradually Kayla, Dan, Zack and Maya. So taking the small step of playing to his friends' parents wasn’t that hard. Harrow wasn’t underconfident when he came to music, he lost himself in the melodies and forgot everything else. They’d played in Carl’s coffee place, the hairdressers, the park and the bakery where Trissie worked. They were too young to submit in any of the music events in the city, but they went to a lot of events regardless. Being a musician eventually was always Harrow’s dream, but not Coco’s. They agreed they could keep the band together until they left high school, but Coco was always encouraging Harrow to spend time with other musicians, link up with them and chat.
Harrow didn’t really want to---he was shy, and even though he felt confident when he played music, he didn’t want to be separated from Coco, or even branch out. Coco had always stressed that networking was a massive part of being a musician and he’d eventually have to talk to people. The discussion always ended with Harrow being standoffish with her, so she dropped it.
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More Harrow Chloton notes on his character -
Harrow has always been shy and withdrawn. His musical obsession led him to be estranged from everyone and everything apart from his friends and family. He was routinely picked on at school, because of who his father was, and also because of that, it was very discreet but still consistent. Coco stood up for him when she could, but she couldn’t get them all. Harrow spent all of his time with Coco, they were never apart. Though Coco loved to branch out and meet new people, this often meant Harrow was left alone when she couldn’t be with him. He went to the music room, worked on his stuff at school. Stayed down in the basement at home, plugging at the melodies for hours. Or he’d be up in his room, playing video games and logging into the 3D at all hours. Before his mother died, Harrow was a forced shut in anyways, his father forbidding him to go out unless he approved, or his mother took him. Trissie fought to take him places, when she moved out, but got nowhere. When his mother died, his anxiety and depression got so much worse. Trissie couldn’t get him to leave his bed. When he moved in with Trissie and Walt, even though he was free from his over protective father, he was never properly free.
Well meaning attempts to take him outside by Zack and Coco led to panic attacks and breakdowns. But after two years, he established a new normal. Walking the dog, watching Coco at her after school practices, going to the arcade with Zack and meeting a few of his mates, playing outside at different locations with the band. He still did almost everything with Coco, and though he often got jealous or insecure at being left alone, Coco tried her best to make sure everything was okay, she knew it was hard for him. She hoped he could manage to make a life for himself on his own, and finally manage the grief of losing his mother, and the psychological damage his father did to him.
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Harrow’s original song - tw - about being abandoned by his father
Fire and blaze
In the fire and blaze,
I hope you got more than just a graze
But between me and you,
We both know nothing that we had before could ever be renewed
‘Cause you damaged me
And left me to burn
There's nothing that compares to what we’ve been through,
No more Father and son,
Cause that is done
Just look at what we’ve become,
Cause you damaged me,
Your son was worth more than something mechanical
You are nothing short of diabolical
I hope we never meet again
But sometimes I wish,
He was there like before
But now he has no core, he has no soul
Things will never be like before
There's nothing that will ever compare to what we’ve through,
Our sentimental story ended
You’ve got a new role in Shunted
And now someone else will damage you,
Like you did to me
#original story#fictional band#original character#self publishing#all rights reserved#original poem#ai art
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in love with her best friend and she doesn't even realise it
Kayla arrived at work, smiled at the cosy table and chairs, the counter and the display of cakes and buns, and greeted her other co-workers. It was a warm, humid day, and behind the counter, she found herself constantly swabbing her forehead and cheeks. She lived in a very cold climate before she came here, she disdained this sort of weather. As the hours ticked by, she began to wonder about Dan and what he wanted to talk about.
Her first assumption was that he wanted to talk about PSI-related business with her, or maybe a bit of school holiday work they both had to complete. He might just want to chat. Then Kayla let her mind drift to the place that she often forbade her thoughts to go. Being as close as they were, people often assumed that they were dating.
Dan, being popular and good-looking, was often pursued by the majority of the girls at school. He went on a few dates, probably as not to be laughed at by his friends. Kayla sat in her room when he was on these dates, her knees up to her chest and her arms screwed tightly around them. She was often relieved when he came back and said they didn't quite click, or he was too busy for a girlfriend right now. "She's just not the right one."
Kayla was never sure how she felt about Dan. They'd been friends a long time now, and she'd always seen him as a friend, never too interested in boys. They also had their professional partnership as spies, they needed each other in a strictly professional way. To be anything more, and for it to go poorly, was a risk that--frankly, Kayla never wanted to take. She did have these odd feelings, these twinges of something she quickly forgot about.
But she was protective and possessive more often than not. She'd also always felt that she was the type of girl that handsome boys were only friends with, not the type they chased after, fantasised about. All in all, she was more confused than anything. They'd promised to go to leaver's prom as friends, and despite Dan kissing her a couple of times when he was drunk, nothing had ever happened between them.
Kayla hoped he wouldn't bring that up because it was just too awkward to talk about, she wasn't sure she could handle it. After next year, she might not even stay in St.Marayan's for Uni, there was no point in anything more than friendship. Kayla was grateful when it was half one, and her rapidly spiralling panicky thoughts were interrupted. She walked from the counter and sat by a table by the window at the back, waiting for Dan.
From my book Shunted
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the cutest not-a-date but totally a date???
He led her through an arch to a gorgeous garden cafe, at a sunlit table with a checked red and white umbrella. They sat down and Pixie grinned at him shyly over the menu.
They casually tossed get-to-know-you questions and exchanged jokes and stories. Pixie had a burger and a strawberry milkshake, and Zack opted for ribs and a side of salad. They shared a chocolate pudding, and somewhere towards the end of the meal, she wasn't flirting because she could, she flirted because she wanted to. It was real.
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Character spotifys
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Another main character from Shunted, Harrow Chloton 🥁
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Teaser from my book Shunted, Chapter 5
Harrow nervously shuffled through the boxes, almost breaking out into a sweat. Like Pixie, he'd only found paper, and at that, uninteresting paper. Nothing useful. He felt exasperated and frustrated. What if there was nothing in this attic that could help them? What were the chances that three teenagers and a little kid would find anything connecting to a murder and an insane one-man mission to find a killer? What was the point to this if Danice only went after the murder now? But to be honest, if Danice knew there was a threat to Emma and Pixie's Mum that meant he'd investigate it for a while, maybe over many years. But what if he didn't want anyone to follow him and burned all the evidence?
Harrow was about to leave the box he was looking through to get up and tell Pixie his fears when his fingers brushed against embossed, smooth paper.
He flung the papers on top and pulled out a stack of letters. It was tied neatly with a red string. He untied it and flicked carefully through them. Every single one of them said the same name: Tobias. But it seemed that half the letters were in a completely different style of handwriting to the others. One was in a neat, sloping script, the others a scratchy, straggly mess. And were tied with white string. Harrow counted. There were twelve letters. Six neat envelopes. Six messy, coffee-stained, weathered envelopes. Never opened. He wondered if the second person had put the second set of envelopes in here so this Tobias person could find them.
Then Harrow racked his brain if he knew Tobias if wait a second. Didn't his Dad have a brother? And his name sounded something like the name Tobias. Why did it sound so familiar? Harrow remembered his Uncle being around in his early childhood, but later on...Didn't his Dad say that his uncle left town? Maybe he was called Tobias? It was a stretch. He knew his family and Pixie's family intimately knew each other---these could be letters to a family friend.
He knew they weren't addressed to him, but they could be something related to what they were investigating. He heard Coco call for him, so he put them on the ground and pushed the rest of the contents back into the box. He pulled out a box he'd selected to look at later--and quickly opened it. His eyes widened. Several framed photographs sat in the box,
and they were mainly of teenagers. A group of them--at least six, sat on benches outside a school. A family photo, two adults, and four children. He noted the curly hair and dark skin. Pixie's family--her Dad and his siblings and their parents.
He was looking closely at these photos when Pixie's grandmother---the young small woman's frown deepened. Harrow blinked. Was it the light? He stared at the photo closely. Maybe she was frowning the same as before. He shook his head and looked back to see if Coco had found him yet. Nope. He looked back at the photo. Now her arms were around the first young boy, thin with a shaved head. Before he'd been looking straight ahead, now, he was glaring back at the woman, his mother. How?
Then he remembered that it must be an old motion photograph, not quite up to speed with the multi-motion hologram photographs you could get now. He shook his head. He couldn't believe for a second he had almost believed the photo was alive. He looked back at the photo, almost laughing, and then suddenly he was in the photo.
Angie was squirming, and next to her Danice was holding her shoulder firmly, trying to get the ten-year-old to stay still. Isabella, on his other side, rolled her eyes at the camera. "How much longer? I have things to do, Mom." Panella, the older woman, prodded her from behind. "This is our first family photograph since moving here, young lady, you will behave. This will be perfect."
"Perfect my ass," Gian said in front of Panella. Panella stuck her hands on his shoulder, frown deepening, just as Harrow had seen before. But now he was experiencing it. He could feel the discomfort from the children and the tension in the air. The man, Manuel, smiled at his wife. "Honey, they're irritable, they haven't had lunch yet. Be patient with them," He looked at the children. "Kids, come on. Give your mother and me a break. Gian, if you make a silly face, it'll be like that forever. Isabella, you look, beautiful darling, just gives us some of your time and you won't regret it. Danice, my boy, I know you're tired, I'll make you a coffee when we get in. And Angie, if you stay still for the rest of this, I'll get you some of Daddy's special ice cream from that hidden compartment in the fridge, yeah?"
And just like that, all the tension dissipated, and they were all wearing the blissfully happy expressions that Harrow saw when he first looked at the photograph. He suddenly wasn't inside the memory anymore, he was back on the laminated hardwood floor of the attic, his head fuzzy, and his eyes aching.
The photograph had gone still and frozen again, and Harrow pressed the picture to his chest. His daydreaming had gotten out of hand. There was no way that was real, how on earth would he know all their names and picture that scene so vividly?
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My main character from my book, Shunted, Pixie Moonchild ✨✨✨
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Shunted Finished!!!
Check out all 21 chapters of my book here :)
https://www.wattpad.com/1238992056-shunted-when-you-are-shunned-from-the-truth-who
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An afternoon picnic
youtube
Harrow lifted his guitar case higher over his back, as they ventured deeper into the woods. It was a bright sunny midday, the mossy undergrowth of roots and shrubbery spread casually all around them, the wings of fluttering insects glittering in the rays of white light that broke through the trees. Harrow looked up at the canopy, and the leaves glowed emerald as the sun hit them, branches, tall weeds and stringy rows of grass slumped towards them. Skipping ahead of him, holding their picnic basket, was Coco, singing and grinning from ear to ear. Her hair was strung up into two mini ponytails at the top of her head, and the rest of it cascaded down in shiny curly brown wavys down her back. Her dark caramel skin glistened in the light, and she turned once to beckon him towards her, her hazel eyes bright.
When she looked at him, Harrow couldn’t help it---his heart stopped in his chest for a split-second, then quickly restarted, pumping twice as fast as before.
Coco was wearing a yellow sundress today, which was unusual for her, but it was so hot today it would be suicide not to. Harrow was sweating in his shorts and thin t-shirt regardless. The dress showed off her gorgeous legs, and arms, and Harrow couldn’t help glancing every few seconds or so.
Coco was so happy because Harrow had agreed to let her take him outside, which for him, was extremely difficult. Despite being freed from his father’s house arrest two years ago, he was still trapped inside Trissie’s house due to anxiety and fear. This picnic was one of Coco’s many many schemes to get him outside more. Coco twirled around in front of him once more, swinging the basket happily. She adored the outdoors, she was a free, wild spirit---she went where she felt she was being called to, she did whatever she pleased.
No one could boss about Coco Netherman.
They became to a pretty grass clearing, flat and fringed to sprouting flowers and plants. Coco drew out a folded blanket from the hamper and shook it out. Once it was spread in a nice and even square, she sat down crosslegged and looked at him expectantly. Harrow would be fine here, it was outdoors, and isolated from other people. It was only him and Coco here, surrounded by the birds and the bees. Dazzling sunlight bathed their picnic, and Harrow sat down his guitar beside him and opened the case.
Coco leaned forward eagerly, and put her chin in her hands.
Harrow set the guitar on his lap, revelling in the comfort of the hard surface of eth guitar pressed against him, and stroked the strings, his fingers automatically settling into familiar positions. He looked up at Coco over his guitar. “You know I always feel more comfortable with this with me.”
She grinned nodding. “And since you’re holding it you mays as well play me something.” She smiled.
Harrow nodded. “Okay. I think this song is perfect for right now.”
He began the first few chords, and Coco’s eyes glazed over with reverence, as the lilting notes hit her and carried her away. Harrow was acutely aware of everything and nothing as he played. The grass slightly swaying around them as a small breeze stirred the blades, the ripple of heat in the midday, the clouds silently shifting in the big blue sky above them. Coco’s heartshaped pink small mouth opening and closing as she exhaled gently, her chest rising and falling. Harrow sang, his deep and soothing voice tickling the rest of the melody.
This song reminded him of everything Coco represented to him, freedom, when he was with her, he wasn’t trapped in that house, or haunted by the tortuous emotions that came to him every time he thought about his mother. Coco was the key, and she unlocked him in every way, if he was a vault and all of his feelings were inside, he couldn’t help that every time he saw her it all came out.
She was the one person he could trust with everything and anything, and she was always there for him. “Come let me love you, let me give my life to you.”
Coco was endless possibilities, and endless opportunities. She was always challenging him, and he wanted to get better for her, he wanted to be better. Yet, she made him feel like he was enough, like he was the one thing that she needed, that he needed her and that was enough.
Coco sat up, and scooched closer to him, putting a hand on his cheek, and sang along with him. He opened his eyes, and looked into hers, smiling.
Coco clapped delightedly as he finished, and Harrow put down the guitar, as she lay her head on his shoulder. She tucked her arm around his, and he took her hand. “When we do things like this, it makes me want to be out, all the time, with you.”
Coco looked up at him, her eyes big. “You will, and you have to, because you know I love it when you sing to me.”
Harrow chuckled. “I can’t always be singing to you, you know. You can play and sing, you’re in my band, remember.”
“I know.” She grinned. “I promise I will. Now’s not the right time.”
“When will it be?”
“Someday. When it happens, I’ll know.”
“What happens?”
Coco closed her eyes, and put a finger on his lips, shushing him. “Don’t ask so many questions Row, just listen.”
“Okay,” Harrow closed his eyes, and leaning his head against Coco’s, he listened.
All rights reserved.
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There he was seated behind his drum set, headphone defenders on, his eyes closed, his face slack, his cheeks stained a little red from the frantic arm movements he made as his drumsticks flew across the black round drum panels. A curl of his dark chocolate hair had flung itself between his dark eyebrows, and the rest of his dark curls poked out and around the headphones.
Pixie pulled the door open slowly, knowing that Harrow wouldn’t notice her enter yet. Despite the urgency she felt in her fingertips, Pixie felt her heartbeat slow in time in the beat of Harrow’s drumming the longer she listened. She couldn’t take her eyes off of his face, which changed, softening as he got more and more lost in the rhythm. Pixie felt a painful tug in her stomach at the thought of interrupting him, but she knew she had to.
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Shunted book 2//teaser
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Coco //Shunted character
Coco is larger than life, bubbly, mischievous.
Coco is a delight to all she meets, with something to say for every situation. She has endless amounts of energy, which is endearing most times, but a bit tiring to her long-suffering friends and family. She is incredibly loyal and sweet, always there for someone in need.
Coco has thick dark hair, curled in big waves around her face, she has the richest caramel brown face and bright hazel brown eyes. Her heart shaped face glowing risibly with hope and happiness.
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