burningupp - Tumblr blog

burningupp · 2 months

Text

twenty-three: you can tell me anything

<<< masterlist >>>

Y/n was nervous, but that wasn’t exactly new. She had been losing her mind ever since agreeing to spend time alone with Hyunjin, which honestly didn’t make much sense considering they had done that before. Maybe it was just the fact that they would be spending time alone at his dorm? Yeah, that was definitely it. That in combination with the massive swarm of butterflies he always managed to elicit in her stomach just by existing in her general vicinity.

She had visited the dorms many times before, of course - Chan was one of her best friends, after all - so she tried to comfort herself with the knowledge that her surroundings would be familiar. Then again, she felt more comfortable around Hyunjin than she did most people, insane butterflies aside, so maybe she was just blowing things out of proportion. In fact, she was aware that she was; she just had no way to stop overthinking. Anxiety, and all that.

As part of making Y/n as comfortable as possible, Hyunjin had suggested watching the movie during the day as opposed to the evening. She was so incredibly touched at the way he was accommodating her anxiety, but she honestly wasn’t sure if anything could take away the anxious feeling completely. To be fair, even without her disorder, she was fairly certain that she would have been freaking out about this situation. Still, Hyunjin’s attitude did help her as much as anything possibly could, so she decided it was time to be brave.

Dressed in an outfit that was both comfortable and cute, she made her way to the dorm building to watch the Barbie movie with her… friend. Normally, she definitely would have spent at least three minutes just standing outside the door and waiting for her nerves to die down (which they wouldn’t) before ringing the doorbell, but in the spirit of breaking out of her comfort zone, she decided to rip the proverbial band-aid off and just ring the darn bell.

The door opened almost immediately, and a smiling Hyunjin appeared. He quickly stepped aside to let her in, and when the door was closed, he granted her a gentle hug hello. She hoped he couldn’t feel the hammering of her heart or her slightly rapid breathing. Either way, she knew he wouldn’t comment on it if he did.

“Hey, Y/n,” he said softly, letting go of her and taking a small step back. “How are you feeling?”

“Good, I think,” she responded, decidedly ignoring the slight tremor in her own voice. “How are you?”

When he smiled, she felt like melting into a puddle on the floor. Her heart kept beating rapidly, but less due to anxiety and more due to the butterflies that suddenly reappeared in her stomach. He was so pretty, so gentle, so… nice. Lovely. Sweet.

“I’m good! Excited to finally watch Barbie!”

Hyunjin’s excitement made Y/n laugh, nodding along. She was excited to watch it, too. As she removed her shoes by the door, he disappeared to fetch her a pair of house slippers. Then he led her into the living room, where they both sat down on the couch.

Her friend had very obviously put in a lot of thought and effort into this hangout, because the coffee table was filled with an array of different snacks and food. She gaped at the display before turning to Hyunjin with wide eyes, giggling a little.

“Who else is joining us?”

“No one, why?”

The way he looked genuinely surprised at her question made her let out a genuine laugh, waving the comment off with a quick “nothing, nothing.” He tilted his head in confusion before glancing at the table again, and then he started laughing too.

“I know it’s a lot, but I didn’t really know what you preferred! I mean, I know you like most of this, but I wasn’t sure what you wanted for today or if you’d had lunch, so I just- are you crying? Why?!”

Y/n sure was crying. She had spotted the plate of japchae amongst all the clutter of the table, and she couldn’t believe he’d remembered her favorite food and gotten it for her. It was really dumb, but she couldn’t help it; she had been so anxious, and this simple gesture had given her a form of relief she hadn’t thought she needed. The tears were happy ones.

“I’m sorry,” she blubbered, carefully wiping underneath her eyes to get rid of the mascara that had undoubtedly smeared due to her tears. Hyunjin looked like he was ready to do literally anything to make her stop crying, which just made more tears flow out of her eyes and down her cheeks.

“Don’t apologize! Listen, if this is too much for you, I completely understand. If you want me to, I can take you home. Just, please don’t cry,” he pleaded, grasping her hand gently and looking deep into her eyes.

She vehemently shook her head, refusing his very kind offer. She wanted to stay, more than anything. She just needed a second to collect herself, and maybe a hug or two. So, she silently tugged on Hyunjin’s hand in order to get him a bit closer to her. When he was close enough, she let go of his hand and pressed her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around him. He quickly wrapped his arms around her too, resting his cheek on the top of her head and waiting patiently for her to calm down enough to explain what was wrong.

After a minute or two, Y/n collected herself enough to pull away from the hug and look at Hyunjin’s face.

“I’m sorry for crying,” she began. She could tell he was about to interrupt her, most likely to reassure her, but she held up a hand to stop him. “I’m just feeling… cared for, I guess. And safe. And I’m just really grateful that I have you in my life, Jinnie.”

Okay, so maybe she hadn’t meant for the last part to be so exposing of her feelings for her friend. It was okay, though. She could most likely play it off, if he were to ask - heightened emotions, or something. Oh fuck, what if that didn’t work? What if- No. She refused to let herself spiral any further because of something so small.

She couldn’t help but look away from the man in front of her, feeling bashful at the entire situation even if she wasn’t exactly overthinking… yet. She felt a gentle hand come up to brush against her cheek, prompting her to look back at Hyunjin. His gaze held nothing but warmth. The butterflies, who seemingly had taken up permanent residence in her stomach, intensified their fluttering.

“Y/n,” he breathed, and the tone of his voice was so soft that she wouldn’t have heard him if she was sitting even slightly further away from him. “I… have something I want to tell you.” Oh God. “Nothing bad, I swear. At least I hope not.” That… helped, and then it didn’t.

“What is it, Jinnie? You can tell me anything.”

And she meant it. If he confessed a crime, she wouldn’t tell anyone; she would even help him outrun the law if necessary. If he confessed an embarrassing secret, she wouldn’t even make fun of him. Well. Maybe a little. But she would guard that secret with her life, without hesitation. She would do anything for this boy, and it both scared and thrilled her.

“I know that our first meeting was less than ideal, to say the least, and I know you said I don’t have to apologize, but I’m pretty sure I will be regretting what I said for the rest of time. You’re such a wonderful, wonderful person, and I count myself lucky to have met you.” Y/n was melting, she was sure of it. “And, uhm, I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you more properly these past few months. You’re a person unlike any other that I have ever met, and I just… I don’t know how to say this without being very direct, and I hope you will forgive me for that, but I think I just have to do it before I chicken out.”

“Anything, Jinnie. You can tell me anything.”

He took a deep breath. Then he released it. His hand fell from her cheek to her hand, and she immediately missed the warmth of his skin on hers. His gaze was still filled with warmth, but there was a bit of uncertainty in it now.

“I really, really like you, Y/n. Like, so much.” Y/n’s breath left her in one fell swoop. All she could do was stare at the man she undoubtedly had a gigantic, humongous, world-ending crush on as he confessed that he returned those feelings. She felt frozen, her brain needing a reboot before she could process thoughts again. “A-And it’s totally okay if you don’t feel the same, or if it’s too much or-”

Screw thought, she decided, and kissed him.

~*~

Hyunjin was in heaven. He was sure he had died, or he was dreaming, or… just anything that meant this wasn’t real, because surely it couldn’t be? He was kissing the woman he damn near loved, and it was the best thing to ever happen to him. Her lips were soft and pillowy on his, and the feeling of her right hand reaching to the nape of his neck and playing with the hair there made him shiver and grab her face as he kissed her deeper.

The kiss was very romantic and soft, almost innocent if it wasn’t for the depth of the feelings both of them were conveying in the kiss. It was enough for Hyunjin, he thought, that he could die happy in that moment. One kiss from Y/n, and his life was complete. He felt like his hearing was gone, everything beside her, her, her utterly unimportant.

She was the first to pull away, looking perfectly dazed with lips swollen from the kiss they had just shared. The tips of her ears as well as her cheeks were blazing a bright red, and it just endeared him infinitely. He couldn’t resist, and grabbed her waist to gently tug her into his embrace, holding her tightly to him. He kind of hoped she could hear his heart beating faster than what should be anatomically possible, just so she would know the depth of his affection for her. Even if she didn’t, he would make sure she knew.

The only sound in the living room of Hyunjin’s dorm was heavy breathing. The moment felt so fragile, he didn’t want to speak up for fear of ending it - still, he knew he would have to do so before her overactive mind would spin her into a spiral.

“I don’t- I don’t know what to say after that,” he breathed, crushing Y/n tighter against his chest. He truly didn’t, but he figured if he just kept talking, it would eventually lead them both to a place where there was something to say. Maybe. “That was definitely the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

“M-Me too,” she answered, her voice trembling slightly. He wanted to let her go to see if she was okay, but as soon as his grip on her loosened, she tightened hers. It made him smile, and his heart skipped a beat. “I, uh, I hope it’s clear that… that I feel the same.”

It kind of had been, but something bloomed in his chest at her words either way. His face split into a massive grin, his cheeks hurting almost immediately, and he had to fight with himself to not kiss her breathless again. He would, but later. After they talked.

“Thank you for telling me, anyway,” he whispered into her hair, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Another moment passed, and then they separated from the hug. Neither one of them let go of the other’s hand, though; it was as if they were physically incapable of parting from one another, now that the long-building tension had finally been released. They both took a deep breath at the same time, and then broke into giggles. Then Y/n cleared her throat and adopted a serious face, and Hyunjin immediately snapped to attention.

“Is something wrong?”

“Like I said,” she began carefully, “I really, really like you too. And I- I mean, you haven’t said anything about it, but I’m just assuming that- you know what, maybe this is stupid, I should just-”

“Nuh uh.” Hyunjin shook his head sternly, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of her hands. “Please, communicate with me. I like you so much, there’s literally nothing you can say to get rid of me.”

Y/n cracked a small smile, then seemed to steel herself. Hyunjin had never stopped focusing on her, couldn’t if he tried, but he zeroed in on her completely at the seriousness of her demeanor. Whatever was important to her, was important to him too.

“I know you didn’t say anything about being together, but-”

“Yes.”

“Hyunjin-"

“Yes. Let’s be together.”

“Jinnie,” she sighed, with an exasperated smile. “I want to be with you too.” His chest exploded with flowers, butterflies, rainbows and candy, anything sweet and beautiful. He felt so full in that moment, squeezing her hands tightly in his and grinning from ear to ear. “But.” Uh oh. “I have to be honest with you, and I-” She sighed before continuing. “My anxiety is… a lot. My life is not easy, and it’s not like everyone else’s. I have a pretty hard time with intimacy, in all its forms, and uhm… If we do this, which I completely understand if you don’t want to, we would have to go really slow. And I don’t want you to ever think that you’re the problem, because you’re not, but if you ever feel like that, please tell me?”

“I will. And going slow is not a problem, baby.” Hyunjin grinned again when the petname made her flush a deep red. “Every single step we take has to be a joint decision, yeah? If you’re not comfortable with any touching at all, that’s fine. If you want to hold hands, cool. Anything you feel you’re ready for, we will discuss together. Yeah?”

Y/n’s eyes started misting over again, but this time she was smiling while it was happening, so Hyunjin simply cooed at his new girlfriend (holy shit he’s going to die) and wiped away the few tears that managed to escape.

“Let’s start with hugging, and maybe some kissing sometimes…”

“I am more than okay with that.”

Eventually, after Y/n was perfectly tucked into Hyunjin's arms, they finally started the movie.

<<< masterlist >>>

taglist: @sopebubbles-reads @skzfelixlove

81 notes · View notes

burningupp · 2 months

Text

twenty-three: you can tell me anything

<<< masterlist >>>

“Hey, Y/n,” he said softly, letting go of her and taking a small step back. “How are you feeling?”

“Good, I think,” she responded, decidedly ignoring the slight tremor in her own voice. “How are you?”

“I’m good! Excited to finally watch Barbie!”

“Who else is joining us?”

“No one, why?”

After a minute or two, Y/n collected herself enough to pull away from the hug and look at Hyunjin’s face.

“What is it, Jinnie? You can tell me anything.”

“Anything, Jinnie. You can tell me anything.”

Screw thought, she decided, and kissed him.

~*~

“Thank you for telling me, anyway,” he whispered into her hair, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Is something wrong?”

“I know you didn’t say anything about being together, but-”

“Yes.”

“Hyunjin-"

“Yes. Let’s be together.”

“Let’s start with hugging, and maybe some kissing sometimes…”

“I am more than okay with that.”

Eventually, after Y/n was perfectly tucked into Hyunjin's arms, they finally started the movie.

<<< masterlist >>>

taglist: @sopebubbles-reads @skzfelixlove

81 notes · View notes

burningupp · 2 months

Text

reminder: I have removed the old taglists. if you still want to be tagged in yellow, pls let me know! ❤️

(also I hope you enjoy the new chapter)

#yellow #update

4 notes · View notes

burningupp · 2 months

Text

twenty-two: new brain

<<< masterlist >>>

taglist: @sopebubbles

71 notes · View notes

burningupp · 2 months

Note

Please tag me my friend 🫶🏼

of course! ❤

#taglist #thank you for asking #yellow

0 notes

burningupp · 2 months

Text

so I told myself I wouldn't, but my taglist is becoming increasingly messy and I've taken a lot of breaks between posting, so I'm gonna be cleaning out my taglists. if you want to remain tagged, send me an ask or a message and I'll happily add you back! there's just a lot of blogs that I can't tag and/or ones that don't interact much, and I don't wanna bother anyone lol.

this goes for all my taglists, not just the series one! i wanna merge them all into one, which means i won't have a permanent one anymore. it will be on a series-by-series basis to make life easier for me. hope you don't mind. if you read this far, ily and i hope you enjoy the new chapter of yellow! 💕

#yellow #update #tag list situation

1 note · View note

burningupp · 2 months

Text

twenty-one: nostalgia for a moment not yet passed

<<< masterlist >>>

Hyunjin had texted her in the morning to ask if she would be at the office that day. Luck was on his side, because she was. He refused to elaborate more on his plan after his question, other than letting her know that they would go somewhere together - something that made Y/n somewhat anxious. He knew that it did, which is why he made sure to emphasize how mild and unsurprising his “surprise” even was. After knowing him for the better part of six months, she decided that he definitely had nothing but her best interest at heart and thus chastised her anxious mind, doing her best to move past the feeling. She somewhat succeeded, but there was that small nagging voice in her mind that wouldn’t leave her alone throughout the day.

Thankfully, as soon as Hyunjin came up to her outside the cafeteria around lunch, most of her anxiety melted away. He was smiling so gently at her, offering a cautious hug as a greeting. His strong arms around her soothed her more than she was willing to admit, and in combination with his scent, it was the most safe she had felt in a while.

“Hi ba- Y/n.”

The way he stuttered made her smile even more, looking up at him as he let her go. His ears were tinted a slight red, his eyes carefully resting on her face, taking in her every reaction. His hands subconsciously followed her body away from him, a gentle hold that didn’t force her to be anywhere she didn’t want to be. She felt safe.

“Hey Hyunjin,” she said, looking away from his eyes self-consciously. She didn’t do too great with eye contact, not even with Chan, so Hyunjin didn’t take the movement to heart. He simply smiled a little wider at how adorable he found her. He quickly hid the smile as soon as she looked back up at him, hoping his feelings were at least a little hidden away from her glistening gaze. “So why did you want to talk to me?”

At her words, the long-haired man couldn’t help but grin wider again. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He was teasing, but quickly amended his statement. “It’s fine, it’s just in the company building. No other people, I swear.”

Y/n’s heart fluttered at his words, at the care he took to not only reassure her, but to plan his “surprise” to be as comfortable for her as possible. She blinked a few times, trying to calm her heart. She subconsciously started playing with her friend’s fingers, something that made his own heart speed up in turn. He hoped she would never stop.

“Oh? Are we going now?” she asked as soon as he started tugging on her hand. “What about lunch?”

“I’ve got it covered,” he answered gently, stopping in front of the elevator and pressing the button with his free hand. To his delight, she was still stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. He felt like he could fly. “Of course, if you want to eat with your colleagues or something-”

“I would like to eat with you,” she answered, blinking up at him again. His chest felt tight. “I-if that’s okay, of course…”

Hyunjin studied her form as she almost folded in on herself. She had a habit of making herself as small as possible, he’d noticed. He found it endearing at the same time that he hated it; someone like her should walk around with her head held high, their pride evident and aura glowing. But the way she was standing was just so… her. He could imagine Seungmin gagging at his thoughts.

“I would love nothing more,” Hyunjin started, eyes trained on her intently, “than to have lunch with you, Y/n.”

Her heart almost stopped. Or did it jump out of her chest? She couldn’t tell the difference anymore. All she knew was that her fingers were tingling and that she couldn’t look away from Hyunjin even if she tried, but neither of those things were really new. She honestly found comfort in the sensations at this point.

Just as she opened her mouth to say something, the elevator doors slid open. Luckily no one was in there, because neither of them would have been able to handle the awkwardness. Instead they were able to step into the small space, hands still entwined as Hyunjin pressed the button for his desired floor.

The doors slid shut slowly, and Hyunjin stepped back against the wall as close to Y/n as he could be without encroaching too much on her personal space. She didn’t notice the way she leaned against the taller man’s body, her once free hand now also clasping his bigger one in both of hers. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he wasn’t supposed to in case he disturbed the moment.

She slowly uncovered his hand and straightened out his fingers, laying her own palm flat against his with a curious look on her face. Upon seeing the difference in size she almost gasped, looking up at him with a fascinated gaze that Hyunjin swore would kill him stone dead.

“I never noticed how big your hands are,” she murmured gently.

As if she suddenly noticed what she had done (that was exactly what happened) she dropped his hand quickly, her cheeks burning. She mumbled an apology under her breath, starting to pick at her nails in order to have an excuse to look away from him. Not being able to stand her pulling away from him, her friend grabbed her hand gently in his again, entwining their fingers again. She stared at the floor to avoid his gaze, which only made Hyunjin’s chest contract more. God damn it, he wanted to kiss her so bad.

The thought had just entered his mind, gripped his entire body tight, when the elevator came to a stop. The doors slid open, revealing none other than Chan and Minho. Y/n’s eyes widened comically, as did Hyunjin’s, and she quickly let go of his hand in a panic. She missed it immediately.

“Hey Y/n,” Chan smiled gently, stepping aside a bit to allow the pair to slip past into the hallway behind him. “You doing okay there?”

“I-I’m fine,” she breathed in reply, shooting a quick glare her friend’s way. She loved him to death, but he sucked sometimes.

“Great. Have fun.”

Neither she nor Hyunjin saw his smirk, but they heard it in his voice. They also heard Han Jisung’s exorbitantly loud laughter as the doors were closing. Hyunjin was going to murder him. He glanced at his friend, seeing her a lot more tense than she had been not even ten seconds ago. He slowly, gently reached out and grasped her hand again, leaving enough room for her to pull away if she wanted to. She didn’t. Their hands felt so right grasping each other, and Hyunjin found himself already dreading having to let it go again.

“Come on,” he said through a gentle smile, and she was helpless. All she could do was follow him through the corridors of the company they both worked for. She pushed the thought away.

He walked with purpose, but never faster than what was comfortable for her. She was spacing out the entire way, thoughts of him and the absolute comfort she was feeling pulling her thoughts up into the clouds. Their hands were hanging between them, entwined and relaxed, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. They’d never actually held hands before that day, and Y/n found herself almost sad that they had waited so long to do it. It was comforting.

As they came to a stop, Y/n finally came back to reality. She blinked at the door to the practice room, one of the smaller ones used to practice dancing. She turned to look at him, but he just grinned and opened the door for her. She brushed past him through the door.

“I don’t understand why you-”

Her words fell away as soon as she spotted the blanket in the middle of the floor. The lights had been slightly dimmed compared to the usual bright glare from the spotlights in the ceiling, and in the middle of the blanket on the floor was a pile of snacks next to a bag from her favorite take-out place.

She raised a hand to her mouth, turning around to look at Hyunjin who couldn’t stop himself from smiling once he saw the unapologetic sparkles in her eyes, directed at him. He felt light-headed, in a really good way. As did she.

“Hyunjin,” she breathed after a second, “it’s- you did this for me?”

“Of course,” he nodded. “I know you had a rough time recently, and we haven’t been seeing too much of each other, so… Picnic.” The way he was grinning from ear to ear rendered her unable to stop her own, identical grin from blossoming on her face.

She studied him for a moment, eyes still glittering at him like he had saved her life, before she dropped his hand. He was about to complain about it when she pressed close to his body, still in the doorway, and gently allowed her lips to graze his cheek. He was breathing so shallowly he might as well have been holding his breath.

“Thank you,” she breathed at him, and he wanted to break down and cry. She was so beautiful, so important to him, and she didn’t even know it. Fuck. He was down so incredibly atrociously bad, it wasn’t even funny anymore.

He swallowed, regarding her with an expression full of adoration. She could almost feel it in the air, becoming a bit breathless, too. “Anytime,” he breathed back.

Eventually, Y/n bit her lip and turned back to the surprise he had prepared for her so meticulously. She slowly approached the picnic blanket and sat down, Hyunjin following closely. He was convinced she would disappear in a puff of smoke, should he look away for even a second. She was too good to be true.

They ate the food together, discussing everything between heaven and Earth. She learned a lot about his members, as she always did on their rare hang-outs. She laughed almost the entire way through, and Hyunjin couldn’t be happier than he was in that very moment. Making her happy was something that made him happy, who would have thought?

“Wow,” she sighed as she put down her takeout container. She looked at his face for a long moment, almost as if she was trying to memorize it all. “I’m gonna miss you when I go back to the Twice team in three weeks.”

All of Hyunjin’s happiness came crashing down around him. He was going to have to be without her again? He had hoped to have so much more time with her. The whole picnic thing had been his first attempt at courting her the way she deserved, a series of special moments between just the two of them that would eventually lead to her hopefully calling him hers. There would be no bigger honor, he thought.

But of course, he couldn’t have that. None of his plans ever went to… well, to plan. Fuck.

“Has it already been five months?” he asked incredulously, eyes wide and cheeks full of food. Her giggle at his expression made him feel marginally better, even when she nodded and confirmed his fear. He swallowed quickly. “I’m gonna miss you too, you know.”

The room suddenly fell into silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was kind of… sad? No, not sad. They were happy. They were just feeling nostalgic for a moment that had yet to be over. Nostalgic for the time that they had spent together so far, the feelings that the other person still was too dense to see. It ached, for both of them.

“Mm, bet you’ll be glad to have Kyeongmi eonnie back though,” she responded after a few seconds of the heavy silence. He snorted. “What?” she laughed.

“I love noona, but she thinks of me as an extremely annoying mosquito or something, I swear.”

The silence was broken by laughter again, and though the mirth was back in both of their eyes, there was something deeper there, too. Something unsaid, that would remain as such for a bit longer. Just a bit, Hyunjin promised himself. The short timeframe he suddenly had to work with had thrown him off, but he refused to let it defeat him; he would still tell her, in a way as spectacular as his feelings for her. He swore it.

<<< masterlist >>>

permanent taglist: @sunnytaes @unadulteratedlyunique @alanniys @vantxx95 @sai-kida134 @halesandy @hibuki-chan @goldenhoney-cas @wondering-out-loud @soldierstangirl-blog @txtandroll @3sriracha @snow-pegasus @jwnghyuns @enaluvs @popcatx0 @skizzel @uno7

skz taglist: @to-mi-yo @nattisbored @idunnomanmynamewastaken @meowmeowisdaname @mynameisnotlaura

series taglist: @sunnibearr @punks-rad @jovialdelusionbouquet @mchslut @vampcharxter @soobin-chois @phobia0325 @zoeeeeeeeeee @thearcher-withglasses @itsallaboutkey @seungminsapuppy @gothmingguk @rindomo @hyunjingin @reighlee-greaves @wannabekris @midnightfury71 @multifandomtrash-dree @kwnshi @wonkiewolfie @kpflyn @lilydaisyyy @jason-peter-n-shitposts @jihanniee @hazzaloveschopsuey @aspenwritesstuff @sunshineandrainyflowers @broken-glowsticks @micaylasnotes @jisungsbxtch @asters-abditory @mimi-sierra04 @gojo-sunglasses @yjeonginlvr @farfromsugafanfic @hanjistarss @flowerbin131 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyunsungbased @sanriiolino @starrmage

57 notes · View notes