blackmageeljin
Why, hello there Internet
Eljin | They/Them | 32 | Neurodivergent and proudly handicapable.
My current main fandoms are JJBA, YGO (DM, GX, Zexal mostly), KH and Magi.
If you like my art you can support me at ko-fi
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I haven't posted in a long time.
My anxiety and depression have backslid a lot in the last year. My social anxiety and agoraphobia are particularly out of control.
I have fallen out of producing fandom content, frankly because I have been too afraid to. Fandoms have become a lot more charged than they were when I was younger. I keep trying to get into new fandoms that I hope are less problematic only to stumble across the same patterns, up to and including someone being harassed and told to 'kys' repeatedly over fandom drama to the point of ending their own life.
But being isolated is hard. I haven't stopped making content I just... Stopped sharing it. I don't really know what to do, or if any followers I have here are even still active. I got back into JoJo's and expected most of the discourse to be more 'gay vs not gay' type stuff but some parts are... Really, *really* bad. Worse even than KH. And inconsistent! Censoring myself to fit some fear mongering anti's agenda seems like an anathema, so I just haven't posted anything, even the stuff I have I know isn't problematic.
To me the 'right' thing to do would be to post anyway and stand up for a censorship free Internet and community, but I'm afraid that, especially right now, I just don't have the resilience.
I guess I'm asking people more in touch with a 2024 Tumblr what they think. If it's even worth it. What tools there are. I've spent half the day blocking hate in a tag and trying not to panic about it. As an actual abuse survivor, seeing some of these accusations fly over such inane things is just... Disheartening. Especially knowing my abusers will never be prosecuted, but I'm getting accused of those crimes by trying to cope through artistic expression.
Also if there is anyone interested in some of the 'problematic' ships I've tagged, please give me a ring. I might try finishing and posting some stuff after all of it will actually make people happy. But after seeing witch hunt posts calling for people to haze or blacklist certain crators? It's just... Really scary.
But I'm so tired of being alone.
#eljin has an existential crisis#giomis#brugio#brupro#fandom discourse didnt use to be this scary#remember when the standard for being upset at fandom behaviour was literally physically assaulting someone with a bucket at a con?#i miss 2012#guess i should add diadop and risodop and risopro#because it seems like even just liking squadra can get you antagonized?#back in my day jodio was just normal shit it wasnt controversial at all what happened with that?#i just like a good mudad au...#were mad at brugio but dont talk about gyjo being a bigger gap like i love gyjo dont cancel it but im also confused at the inconsistency?#everyone should go yt seach 'its okay to not like things'#please just... be kind to each other. im begging you. im so tired.
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If I had a nickel for every time a twink in a purple crop top developed DID and became a mafia boss, I’d only have two nickels, but its weird that it happened twice, right?
Finally got around to doing this and actually posting art again!! Happy birthday Mairk <3
#Marik Ishtar#Yami Marik#YGO DM#JJBA golden wind crossover#golden wind spoilers#eljin draws#king crimson is a card bc I think Im funny#I was super lazy with cleaning the scan but im still really happy with how it turned out#diavolos makeup makes yamima look more like Dio with his hair whoops#went back and forth with adding freckles and hair spots still not sure
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In loving memory of Kazuki Takahashi.
The news today hit me pretty hard, so to honor him I followed his art process as he described it in the Duel Art book. I didn’t have a lightbox so my lines aren’t as clean, but I’m still very happy with the result. I first taught myself to draw growing up by practicing drawing his characters, so doing this seemed like the only fitting tribute for me.
Thank you Takahashi for creating something that has been such a meaningful part of my life. I will never forget you.
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My ex roommate legitimately just sent his mother over here to pick up something he insisted he left here after messaging both myself and my spouse and us telling him it wasn’t here. I am? Flabberghasted??? I am 31, he is 30. He sent his MOTHER to my HOUSE.
Bonus, when I went looking for what he left (which I did look for, I had no interest in his stuff continuing to take up room in my kitchen) and couldn’t find it, I DID find dishes he’d been hording in his room, including one he’d clearly damaged. When I asked him about it he refused to admit he’d broke it and immediately blocked me. And yet he still. STILL. Just sent his MOTHER over here because he was too much of a COWARD to talk to us himself.
Anyway, we sent her home with the food he left in the freezer. She had the audacity to try and demand to look in our kitchen herself but we didn’t let her in (she was pretty belligerent while helping him move out, we almost kicked her out for just tossing our stuff around if she decided it was in her way). I’m still just amazed. I obviously looked for it, or I wouldn’t have noticed the glass he broke he clearly tried to hide from us. Just. Amazing.
#eljin rambles#honestly this was just such an absurd story i had to share because what the FUCK?#why are people like this#personal
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LET IT NOT BE SAID I AM NOT A MAN OF MY WORD. LO, SQUARE HAS CALLED ME THE FUCK OUT WITH NOT 1, NOT 2, BUT 3 TRAILERS AND SO I WROTE. I WROTE LIKE A MAN POSSESSED. ENJOY A NEW CHAPTER OF REPEAT Y’ALL.
#soxeha#young xehanort#sora#xehanort#eljin writes#repeat:||#im sorry this took so long but its finally back#next chapter might take a while though because wrapping up pirates is gonna be a bitch and a half and i might have to watch the movie again
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I saw this tweet and just had to. I had to.
KH but while ya boy’s in Shibuya instead of Donald and Goofy its Papalymo and Haurchefant.
also if you like my art hit up my ko-fi or check out my Etsy!
#kh#khiv#ffxiv spoilers#ffxiv#haurchefant greystone#papalymo totolymo#sora#i may or may not have exclusively referred to haurchefant as elf riku in patch reborn#eljin draws
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i am a simple man who likes boi buns, and was sad to not be able to find a ffta sprite for black mage bun, so i did an edit using the red mage sprite and decided to make him a male viera too ^^
#viera#final fantasy#final fantasy tactics advanced#male viera#bun boy#eljin draws#sort of its an edit but yeah
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Hey, have you been doing okay? I just noticed how long it's been since Repeat updated and saw you haven't seemed to have posted anything anywhere in a while. Hope all is well.
thank you for checking in! have no idea how old this is, but figured it was a good enough place to explain why i have been aggressively dead for like, 2 years.
first and foremost- I will definitely eventually finish Repeat it is near and dear to m heart and i have more or less all of the main points planned to the end in an outline and even some potential sequel fodder, but its not something I'll be able to work on for a while (and i can admit some of my other kh fics may wind up unfinished). I am hoping to post some snippets I've done from other fandoms (mostly ff) in the last few years at the very least in the meantime.
AS FOR WHY I HAVE BEEN MIA a lot of shit has happened, including but not limited to:
-moving
-moving again
-having my batshit grandmother in law try to sell the house out from under us because her realtor wanted a bigger commission for it even though we were actively living in it, she told us she was going to sell it to us, and we had been taking care of her for a year =D
-buying said house after the rest of my inlaws got super pissed at her
-having to deal with all of the serious issues in said house including the basement flooding because she wouldn't let us get it inspected if she was selling to us and denied the existence of said issues
-planning an whole ass wedding from scratch
-doing everything for the wedding myself because we're poor, including baking the cake and making my and my spouse's garments
-getting fucking married (actual yay!)
-fighting with social security to get my name changed during covid (its still not changed =D)
-fighting with insurance to start T (i got married in october and im still not on my spouse's insurance =D)
-applying for and getting denied disability on multiple levels =D
-helping two roommates move into our house over the course of all of this, one from another state
so yeah, a lot has happened and things are a lot more stable now but still turbulent. writing has been hard, and most of my writing spoons and kh spoons have been going to a kh themed dnd game ive been running. i am sure the next proper kh news drop will fill me with inspiration and i'll be able to get back on that horse. in the mean time i am trying to post what content i do produce, but im still pretty bad at the internet for a millennial ><
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hey, do you happen to have a twitter?
there is an official seekers of dorkness twitter associated with our etsy and whatnot, but I personally do not. I am *super* afraid of twitter tbh >>
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I was super proud of that first shot while doing a shoot for my og and still main archer glam.
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i dont wear my artifact gear glam very often but these shots were just too pretty not to share
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did a break down of the sassian’s extra af outfit so i had a reference while I worked on this cosplay and figured I’d share for anyone else who might be interested.
the metal cuffs being on the gloves is something I found out about from an official mock up sketch of him
also if you like my art hit up my ko-fi or check out my Etsy!
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bun breaker
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I usually am to scared to post any art of my OCs but I was really proud of this little ref and icon spread from my DnD character and his twin brother! They’re names are Castor and Pollux, because names are hard and the DM wanted some zodiac themed things anyway, Castor (green) is an Artificer and my grumpy boi for the game, Pollux (red) is his sunshine Cleric brother who the DM has way too much fun NPCing. They have a copper and tin theme so together they make bronze.
I’ve actually been considering doing commissions for DnD icons or head shots, but just have had a hard time figuring out where to get started. If you think you might be interested please shoot me a message!
and as always if you like my art hit up my ko-fi or check out my Etsy!
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I just wanna appreciate how wholesome and majestic my boy looks in his new whm glam!
shout out to Eris for buyin the bun some fancy galms for his name day <3
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I don’t think I ever posted this which is a shame. Have some Viera Xehanort- I had fun merging lots of aspects from the Xehanort clone armor and darkness suit into the Viera/Fran armor style.
if you like my art hit up my ko-fi or check out my Etsy!
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wip of emet thing i was working on but my hands are not letting me do anything else today. one art a day is all im allowed apparently >>
as always if you like my art hit up my ko-fi or check out my Etsy!
#emet selch#emet-selch#FFXIV#wip#eljin draws#i am as tired as emet looks#100 percent sure this sketch will look better now than it will when im done
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