aurelienne - Tumblr blog

aurelienne · 10 months

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Is it normal to try and justify why you feel emotional? Like:

“Oh i jsut got off ceding after my wisdom teeth removal so that’s why I feel depressed and I had an edible two days after finishing so even more depressed?”

“I’m PMSing”

“I’m ovulating”

Is that like normal?

#diaryposting #journal #emotions #depression #anxitey #anxienty

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aurelienne · 11 months

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When am I going to be fucking RID OF IT. FROM EVERYWHERE. FROM EVERY FUCKING FACET OF MY LIFE. FROM EVERY POSSIBLE INTERACTION OF MY LIFE.

FUCK.

#diaryposting #journal #emotions #tw anger #trauma

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aurelienne · 1 year

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Good goddamn

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aurelienne · 1 year

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I only make posts on this blog when I’m period blood emo

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aurelienne · 1 year

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I can't stop crying now

It doesn't feel empty anymore. It feels full and heavy. When I could only cry two tears now I cry many. They don't stop streaming down my face, but I still can't sob.

Music makes it worse. The reason I cry is from long ago and something I should have moved on from. The scars from the situation don't feel like scars anymore. They feel like open gashes that I can't contain anymore.

When will I get over it. I should be.

#diaryposting #dear diary #personal diary #overwhelmed #depression #grief

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aurelienne · 1 year

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I made one emo post on this account and got a message from kokobot

#kokobot

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aurelienne · 1 year

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Why is it That When I Cry I Only Shed Two Tears?

I’m suddenly nauseous with guilt. It feels like violent unhappiness with no physical expression. Internal roar of absence of joy.

It’s angry in a vacuum form. As if the emptiness is extracting everything else in me.

It’s not desire to do nothing. It’s the lack of desire to do anything.

Any outlook of improvement is nonexistent.

Only a pit in my stomach that threatens to empty its contents.

Just two silent tears down my face. One on each side. Why can’t I sob?

#psychotherapy #psychoanalysis #psychiatry #therapy #therapist #i'm sad #sad #is this cringe?#yeah #yell into the void #tell me its not just me #or tell me its cringe #i need this out of my system #get it out #get it off your chest #kinda depressing #depression #anxitey

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aurelienne · 1 year

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Emotional Feeling and the Truth

I don't think people feel as strongly as they claim.

They only think they feel that strongly because they desire to feel that strength of emotion like they have heard others feel.

It's performative.

Some don't realize it and some actively know.

They try to cry harder.

Think more romantically.

I stopped trying to feel harder about romantic aspects and they haven't come strongly naturally.

I used to be so upset from social faux pas and I started to not try to feel or think strongly about it and it has not come naturally.

Is this self actualization, am I a sociopath who convinced herself she was normal, or is everyone like this?

Song that I'm listening to right now:

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