aro-ace-ing-it
Aceing It
Emily, Aromantic Asexual, she/her, 22
~Sideblog~
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blanket permission to boop me a thousand times if you’re trying to unlock the other boop badges 🐾
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do any aces still do the black ring thing? i kind of want to sell these resin rings, plain black or sparkly "space ace" as pictured... i have 2 made currently for $10 each and i can add other stuff for 5 more
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I want to see how much of tumblr is aro
Pls reblog if u vote :)
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Today’s mood
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Happy New Year to all the lovely a-spec people!!🎆 💜🎆💚🎆
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Some Thoughts On Aphobia
As a disclaimer, this entire post obviously comes from an allosexual queer and these experiences are only second-hand from my view of all of this. This blog is usually a fandom blog, but I felt like talking about this because it’s personal to me, and I think that with the exclusionism of aros and aces rampant in the LGBTQ+ community, I could shed some light on some things with this personal story.
So, I have three sisters. My oldest sister is as hetero as they come (but, a huge ally ofc) but my other older sister is bisexual and I am queer/sapphic. My little sister, well, I’ve personally had theories of her being AroAce for awhile, but I didn’t want to push labels onto her or tell her how to feel. In the end, no matter her sexuality, it’s no one’s place to make assumptions. It doesn’t affect me, as long as she’s happy.
Recently though, my little sister kept asking me more and more questions about asexuality and aromanticism. She asked about the definitions, the flag colours, all of it. And more recently, she admitted to me that she thought she was AroAce. I gave her my full support and I was proud of her and all that. I’m a protective big sister, what can I say. (and as an aside, I am aware of the statistical unlikelihood that 3 out of the 4 of my sisters are LGBTQ+ and we all find it hilarious tbh)
Now, here’s the thing. My entire family, though this story will particularly be about my mom, knows I’m queer. They know my older sister is bi. We’ve received nothing but support and acceptance. We went to Pride this year, they helped me get into an LGBTQ+ support group, all of the things.
So imagine my surprise when my little sister comes out to my parents and my mom immediately shuts her down. She says my sister is too young and immature to make that decision, -mind you, I was 14 when I came out, she’s 16- she said my sister hasn’t found the right person and just doesn’t socialise with people enough to know, and best of all, my mother said that my little sister will get married someday and give her grandchildren.
Now, children having to give their parents grandchildren is a rant on its’ own, but we don’t need to get into it because it’s ridiculous to think that my mother, with four children, the oldest of whom is ENGAGED and has picked out names with her fiance for kids, won’t get grandchildren. But all that aside.
But aphobia isn’t real, right? To reiterate, my mother supports me to death. But when my little sister comes out as AroAce, suddenly it’s an entirely different matter. I even pointed out the hypocrisy of it to my mother, because it would’ve been horrible of her to say to me I’ll get married to a man someday so she shouldn’t say it to my sister. Do you know what my mom’s response was?
“I just want her to be happy.”
Because that’s the thing with aphobia. We exist in a society where happiness is derived from being in a relationship. We talk about soulmates and other halves and the people that complete us. It’s a different brand of homophobia but derived from the same ideas. Rather than it being that marriage can only be between a man and a woman, it’s that marriage between two people is required for happiness. Sex is required for love, and romantic love is required for a happy life.
To be clear, I don’t hate my mom for this, and I do think she’ll come around. I understand it’s a lot to process, but that’s because we refuse to normalise it. There are LGBTQ+ people who won’t even accept Aros and Aces into the community and act like aphobia isn’t real or that it doesn’t hurt people. They act like I didn’t have to go from comforting my baby sister to screaming at my mother for making my sister come to me, devastated. And trust me when I say my sister was lucky. I know there are Aces and Aros who’ve had it so much worse.
I took my sister to my LGBTQ+ support group. It was nice and we both enjoyed ourselves. When we got back home the first thing she said to me was “You know, it was really nice to tell people I was AroAce and not have to explain what it means.”
My point in all of this to point out that aphobia is very real, and that Aros and Aces need to be accepted into the community. It’s the same thing, the same struggle. People like my sister deserve to feel at home somewhere, and they deserve to have the rest of the community rallying behind them and giving them the platform to help explain to cishets their sexuality so that my sister and others can be left the fuck alone. She doesn’t need sex or an “other half” to be a normal, happy person. No one does.
So TLDR: if you say Aros and Aces aren’t a part of this community, you will die by my queer sword. And obviously, my views and opinions on all of this are very limited, as I’m not Aro/Ace. So if any Aros and/or Aces want to add on with their personal experience/opinions. I’d love to hear them and I’ll read them all.
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How the LGBTQ+ Community Conquered 2020 ⚔️🏳️🌈
2020 has not been the easiest of years for us. From wild bushfires and hurricanes, to a global pandemic and elections, this year has put a toll on all of us.
But we want to look at the positives that happened in the LGBTQ+ community in 2020 to remind us all that there has been light in all of this darkness and that we should look forward to the wins which will greet us in 2021.
January
Northern Ireland legalised same-sex marriage
Utah bans LGBTQ conversion therapy for children
New Hampshire allows a third gender option on driving licenses
February
Croatia makes fostering children legal for same-sex couples
Switzerland votes to ban homophobic discrimination
March
Virginia bans conversion therapy for children
Gay panic defence removed as a defence for committing a crime
April
Same-sex marriage legalised in Sark, UK
May
Germany bans conversion therapy for children and adults who were pressured into receiving it
Albania bans conversion therapy
Zambian President pardons 3000 people who were jailed for being homosexual
Costa Rica legalises same-sex marriage
June
The US Supreme Court ruled that LGBTQ+ people are entitled to protection from discrimination based on their sexual orientation and gender identity
July
Montenegro voted to legalise same-sex civil partnerships
Gabon decriminalizes homosexuality
Sudan abolishes death penalty for homosexuality
Scotland becomes first country to teach LGBTQ+ history as part of their curriculum
Mexico City bans conversion therapy
August
South African marriage officials cannot legally reject same-sex couples
In Australia, Queensland has banned conversion therapy
September
Inheritance laws in Hong Kong now fully cover LGBTQ+ people
English schools now teach LGBTQ+ inclusive lessons
October
In Mexico, the state of Mexico has banned conversion therapy
Pope Francis shows support for LGBTQ+ acceptance and civil unions
Canada reintroduces bill banning LGBT conversion therapy
November
Nevada to protect same-sex marriage in state constitution
Sarah McBride became the first transgender state senator
Italy’s lower house of parliament approves bill protecting LGBT+ community
In Canada, Yukon has banned conversion therapy
December
In Mexico, Tlaxcala legalised Same-Sex Marriage
The UK lifted restrictions on blood donations from gay and bisexual men
Uruguay has also lifted restrictions on blood donations from gay and bisexual men
Bolivia holds its first same-sex civil union
The LGBTQ+ community has made a lot of progress in 2020 and that will only continue into 2021! As a community, let’s push forward and make the next year an amazing one! Stay proud! ⚔️🏳️🌈
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One thing that's kind of weird that being asexual has taught me.
NO 👏 MEANS 👏 NO 👏 MEANS 👏 NO 👏
Seems kind of obvious, right? Normally when people talk about "No means no" they're talking about sex.
However, being asexual (and trying to be an aromantic advocate) has taught me that "No means no" applies to all boundaries.
Don't want to be touched? No means no.
Don't want to go out for coffee wth the buds? No means no.
Don't want to go to dinner with the family? No means no.
As a kid (myself being a introverted and shy child) parents just assume you shove kids out of their boundaries even if they don't want to. They'll thank you later, right?
Then again in high school and college being the introvert with many health issues, I frequently declined events for varying reasons, and people stopped inviting me because they assumed I didn't want to hang out with them.
It really taught me "you have to say yes even if you don't want to".
Thanks to the help of the asexual and aro communities, I'm starting to learn, you can just say no.
This is generally applied to mean, "If I say no to a hug, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means I don't like hugs." In the ace and aro communities. However, this can apply to any situation. "If I say no to your party, it doesn't mean I don't want to hang with you. It just means I don't like large social gatherings."
Still working on applying it. A lot of people feel the need to pressure you when you say no. I say no to a dinner with friends because it's a pandemic, and I don't want to risk the health of my family, and they're all "Aww, come on! It's a closed room. Clean linens. Just remember to wash your hands!"
No.
The answer is no.
I don't owe you an explanation, but I already gave you one. No means no.
Sorry. Seems kind of off topic, but I thought I'd share some things I learn from the ace and aro communities that we should all know.
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fictional character: *doesn’t have a love interest*
me:
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happy ace awareness week!!!
i was worried that i wouldn’t be able to finish it in time,,,
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Today is a good day to love and respect all asepc people
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And I think it' okay
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Bert and Ernie have been written as a gay couple, but Sesame Workshop has confirmed Muppets aren’t sexual. Based on this evidence, we can conclude that the two of them are asexuals in a homoromantic relationship. In this essay I will
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