I am nothing more than just an addict

In times like these I really need a blade

I badly need to go back to my honeymoon phase I'm so disgusting rn

what the fuck is wrong with me? why can't i get my shit together?? i'm literally so disgusted by my lack of self control for the past few months. i hate myself. hate hate hate hate.

this is it. i'm going to get back on track because i've been a disgusting fucking pig for too long. but that's over now.

i will get control back. i will be better again. i will be a proper anørex1c again.

heyy tomorrow im gonna be starting the ~get worse diet~

i really wanna lose a bunch by idk march? so wish me luck!!

my ugw is 45, so realistically i think i'll get to 47-49

message me if u wanna do it with me! im starting tomorrow

Trust me

You don’t need to eat

It’s a waste of money, and you’ll look like a whale, a cow. Want that? Not sht. Shut your f cking mouth and stop eating.

Who needs to eat? Not you I mean come on~ look at you

Relax, drink tea. These people are trying to make you ugly, getting you to eat like you rlly need food. Don’t listen they are just jealous because you have control and they are stuck being fat lazy cows..

-ana

Hold me accountable. Make sure I reach my numbers.

Cw: 60kg

Gw: 45kg

Gw2: 40kg

Ugw: I want my thighs to be non existing

if you're looking at some food and doubting yourself if you should eat it or not, the answer is no

Tumblr, help me relapse

FUCK. I WANT SOMEONE TO KNOW.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop-

Please stop. Shut up. Leave me.

I don’t want to be here. I really don’t. Please let me sleep forever. Let me disappear

The thing about having depression hit before I was even a teenager, is that I have no idea who I am. I have no memory of what it’s like to live without anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. 

I have no idea who I am without these disorders, they’ve defined my entire life. 

Did anyone else go through a random recovery where your mental health just improved in general which allowed you to kick your ED mentality to the curb and see through body dysmorphia but then gained a decent amount of weight making you unhappy with your body and reverting back to ED habits even though you don’t have the same obsession anymore and now feel like you don’t really have an ED anymore because it’s not that bad you just have disordered eating and also kinda wish your mental health would just fuck up so you could at least go back to being a real Anorexic/bulimic ect. Because boy this feels shit and confusing and I really do feel like I’m faking it now.

I don’t want to get better. I want to get worse.

I thought maybe I would eat fast food today. For some reason I thought that someone would bring takeout.

I planned on eating whatever that was.

No one brought food.

Oh well. Back to fasting.