Last Seen Blogs
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a poem for an ex-lover
Several years later, I still look for you in all the wrong places
I still look for you in the pink skies that we watched together in that one afternoon,
I still look for you in all the good food that I've tasted
I still look for you in all the songs of grief,
sometimes in the songs of home.
I still look for the laughter that we both shared on that one December night
And I still look for you while chasing my dreams
and grieve for you on nights when sleep decides not to visit me.
I still look for you in all the wrong people, in the hopes that they may grow into you
I still look for you
But underneath it all, I live in fear that I might find you, in all the right places
Because
I see you in chess pieces that I can't put away
I see you in a character of a funny sitcom
I see you in a flying kite that we once planned on doing but never did.
I see you when I read sad endings and melancholic coming to be's
I see you in every corner
But the closest I am to touching you, is mending that ripped up picture of us smiling.
I wish I could meet you again, in another time -- when our hello's won't need goodbyes.
See you soon, my ellipsis.
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Strangers
it doesn’t matter if we laugh at the same jokes
or we like the same art
it doesn’t matter if we like the same food
or the same sky
Because when he listens to a good song
or read a great poem,
he doesn’t get reminded of me
When he looks at the moon, he doesn’t call and tell me how beautiful the stars look
His tongue lies and says he misses me but
How do you miss someone and not think of them
whenever you see or hear something that they would like?
The answer is you don’t.
Because when you miss someone, you call them when you want to look
at the same sky
You bring them to that place with the good food.
You send them that good song you heard.
Yours are words that deceive.
You can never miss a stranger
You can only start to know them.
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Isolation
I wonder how I came to love this isolation
Of being with my own company
Because I could swear that at one point,
Being alone meant I had to deal with my reflection
Staring back at me with malice and contempt
I hated those eyes
But those were the only brown eyes I knew.
Now I gaze at it with love,
I always make sure there is love.
-jo
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Men who cheat on their wives are terrible. But men who bring their mistress into their house and fuck them on the bed that their wives sleep in is hopeless.
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Go after what you want
I don't get the hype of going against societal norms. I get that some of them are actually problematic, but I believe what this generation is actually fighting for is going after what you really want - and there's nothing wrong with liking what society has told you to like.
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You have to forgive yourself for saying the wrong things. You're not everyone's life coach. You're just one of the people fighting to survive, why must you be perfect?
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my only regret is that this season is only 8 episodes. i honestly don’t haven any idea who murdered Maddie at this point. The plot is so thick just when I think it couldn’t be any thicker. I hope the season finale is enough to make me think things through up to the airing of the next season!
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Some days, I start to feel sad for no reason
Sometimes the sadness makes me feel like i’m broken,
like some fragments of me are missing.
Other times, it makes me feel alive, which scares me even more because feeling alive
can be so addictive.
~jo
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When I was in a dark period in my life, I stopped taking care of myself, but I still had my regular meals (rice + viand, 3x a day) as a form of compliance. The thing about dark periods is that it’s not always obvious to the naked eye. But you know what? People noticed. They noticed how I lost so much weight and how I “should stop trying to be sexy because a sexy woman still had meat in them”. They noticed how bony my forearms were and how it “looked ugly”. They noticed, but they didn’t see. It was as if I did it to myself, it was as if it was what I wanted, when what I really wanted at that time was to just die. I’m glad I survived that. But a few years later after that part of my life, I still don’t have the guts to wear a bikini because I feel like I’d be too skinny and ugly in it. This is a reminder that if you have nothing nice to say, keep your mouth shut, especially in this generation of social media. It doesn’t take a dollar to not give unsolicited comments.
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If you say that you have not related to devi vishwakaumar, not even once, you’re lying.
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“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
– Neil Gaiman in Coraline
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What do u do when there’s only silence in this town but no one can hear u screaming?
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"They laid together, all night. His arms wrapped around her, a shield from the danger of the night. She was haunted by her dreams, memories brought back to life while she slept. He knew he couldn't fight her dreams, but he could always be there when she woke up."
-Jessica Michelle
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I couldn’t hold up the mirror in that moment
I couldn’t call you on your shit
On the contradictions in the blinking of your fast moving eyes
Or the illusion and deceit in the face of the moon
Of all the cards in the deck, I knew that one was yours
It’s not that you want to lie to people
It’s that your defenses make you lie to yourself
I knew all of that for months
And I loved you anyway
All of your personalities
All of your pain
All of your smiles
All of your blame
And what did I get from you?
My worst fears in the form of a lie on your lips
You silenced me
You put out my fire
Because you knew that my genuine authenticity was about to put an end to your games
Ironic isn’t it?
You still went up in flames
But only because you wanted to
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This was what I meant when I talked about soulmates
"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together."
-Lisa Kleypas
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