an-eldritch-being - Tumblr blog

an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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This Too Shall Pass

A poem that I hope helps others

I have cried myself to sleep over people

Clutching my chest and weeping

Sure that the pain was going to swallow me whole

But now the pain is nothing more than a rock in my shoe

Occasionally poking me but easily dumped out and forgotten

Kicked away indifferently

I have looked into the eyes of people and saw forever

I planned our futures

And now I couldn’t tell you what color their eyes even were

People I once loved

Once cried over

Names that made my chest ache and dropped my stomach

They now just invoke a short

“Oh yeah, I wonder what they’re up to now.”

And then I go on with my day

Becoming nothing but a passing thought

I’ve had arguments with friends where I was sure our words severed our paths

Where I was filled with rage

Telling myself we’d never speak again

Now they sit across from me at lunch

Laughing at some story I’m telling

We couldn’t tell you what that fight was about

I’ve sat on my couch at 2 am

A bottle of pills in one hand and whiskey in the other

Sure that that night would be my last

I went back to work 2 weeks later

With cookies for my managers for being so understanding

So now as I sit here writing

My heart heavy with grief

Devastated over someone who didn’t want me

I remind myself of the people who came before

How I cried over them too

How I felt the same burning in my chest and pit in my stomach

And how their memories faded

The girl I loved with such intensity

I don’t even know if she still lives in this state

I don’t know if she went to college

The boy who I loved

That never loved me

That I let use me just to say I had some of him

His face is that of a stranger

My first boyfriend

My first time

His phone number that I knew my heart

I couldn’t even tell you how it started

I know that this will be the same

I know that one day the butterflies will stop

The sound of his voice will be just another person in the choir

And I’ll be fine again

Just as I know I will find someone who does stay

Because of the girl who has a matching tattoo to mine

Who held me while I cried at 17 over my first boyfriend

Who drove 2 hours to get to me when I was on the couch with pills that night

Because of the boy who drives us around in his car at night

And let’s me tell him all the pains of being me

And he does the same right back

Because of the person I met 3 years ago

They come to my family holidays

They’re my emergency contact at the hospital

I know that his name will become nothing but a passing thought

Just as those before him

And I know he will be replaced by another who does want me

Just like the people I have now

Surely I will be broken again

Just as I have before

And surely I will be okay again

Just as I have before

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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Having quiet bdp is seriously ruining my life, i can't take it anymore please tell me i can quit living this hell

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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Fan fiction people i need your help. !!!

I started a Zosan fanfic directly in the middle of it because i had an idea that i wanted to write, butttt..... I want to make a jump in the past, it would be comparable to the begining of berserk, the begining is in the future but quickly enough we jump in the past. My request is HOW DO I WRITE THIS WITHOUT SOMETHING THAT GO LIKE "One week earlier" or "Before this happened".

I'm concidering to just continue like nothing happened and the readers will figure it out by themself but i'm scared of confusing them..

Anyway if you have any idea i would be grateful to know about them :D

#zosan #op zosan #one piece zosan #fanfic #for fanfic purposes #fanfiction #please help #it's huge angst btw :D #angst #one piece #that's a lot of tags #i would be grateful #thanks in advance #!!!

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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Imagine spending all your energy being cool and mysterious 24/7.

What an idiot have I mentioned I love him?

Idea came from a cool post @nouverx made about Alastor’s possible sleeping habits. 💕

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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There's a Family Out There

There’s a family out there with perfect smiles

Every room clean (except one)

With family pictures lining the walls

covering the bruises of secrets untold

There’s a family out there with 4 daughters

4 perfect daughters

One who is so incredibly darling

One who says the wildest of things

One who loves and feels with her entire heart

One who stays in her bedroom far too much for this perfect family

With far too short hair

With not enough dresses or makeup

There’s a family out there who will tell you:

We are happy (between the bouts of anger)

We love each other (ignoring the raised voices)

We have dinner together every night (excluding when father joins halfway) (excluding when she gets home late, he’s on a call, (s)he leaves as soon as (s)he’s done)

There’s a family out there

A family that broke because of one kid

There is a family out there that will be fixed when (s)he leaves

(S)he will stay

Kind of

Always a message away but never the first to text

Eventually they will forget their eldest

He will be happier maybe

Lighter, freer, kinder to himself

Allowing himself to explore all that he is

Or maybe he’ll be worse

Let the grief swallow him whole

Let his childhood hold him close

Give in to the need to destroy

But

There’s a family out there

With perfect smiles

And 4 perfect daughters

Who all love each other perfectly

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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This is so beautiful i'm gonna cry

Do i tolerate you, hate you, despise you?

I don’t know

My mind is frozen covered in snow

When I see you in my head everything smells like tobacco

A smell so addictive but you can’t help hate

You keep thinking about it all night and all day

Even at 3 am when you’re up super late

Have you had fun knowing you desecrated me?

Do you think it’s funny to make someone so sphacelated, caught off guard making them not able to foresee

Foresee the ruins, the loss, the damage you dealt upon me

You’re so depraved on love that you ruin others

A cowardly soul, a pure soul crusher

But on a midsummers nights dream nothing can crush a sleepy stormy

Except you, you accursed soul, you abhor me

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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her hair is long and straight and soft. there is never a strand out of place. It bends to her will, never blowing over her eyes or into her mouth. My hair is something wild, like overgrown weeds. it flys out in every direction, curling like sheeps wool in some places and sitting straight as the fur of a dog in others. Her nails are short and round, bitten down to nubs with a certian manic precision. Mine are all different lengths and shapes, speckled with old red or blue polish and stained underneath with dirt or bread dough. She wears dark blue straight legged jeans and college crewnecks and ironed blue t-shirts. She is clean and straight forward, her clothes never threadbare or dirty or torn. I wear my fathers old jeans and my sisters stained sweatpants, t-shirts from bands ive seen and places ive been. All my hoodies are stained with paint. My socks never match. I love her. I love her simple, easy way of speaking, telling stories in a straight line and laughing kindly. I love the smell of her, like clean laundry and flowery soap. I love her eyes, pale green like early spring, as soft as her touch and her smile. I stutter and ramble, forget details and words. I laugh loudly, like a bird or a dog. My eyes are too big for my face, a deep unnerving blue like the drop off of water at the beach. My smile is crooked and my touch calloused. But somehow we fit, like a crooked tree twisting around a perfect one, like a stumbling dear and a sure-flying sparrow. I will gladly stand tarnished and rusted next to her, if only so that people can see the way she shines.

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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How do you rip your claws out of someone ?

How can i let you go ?

I feel like you're running, too fast, too fast for me to catch you up.

But as far as you are, i still see you.

I still see when you was next to me.

I still see those memories.

Those stupid memories that, and it doesn't matter how hard i try to restrain myself, makes me smile.

I can feel it my guts, and if it's not even love i wonder what more can you makes me feel.

You're not the person i'm waiting for, and it's painful.

Painful that i can only admire you.

You're one of the most magnificent being that i've ever had the chance to lay my eyes on.

And for not a single thing i would stop looking at you.

But i need to get my claws out of you.

Let you go.

Even if i don't want to.

I need to take the pain.

It'll hurt and even if i want to i can't help but to ask myself.

How do you rip your claws out of someone ?

Out of someone like you.

#poems on tumblr #poetry #poem #poets on tumblr #it's not about love is it ?#no it's not #or at least a form of it

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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leave your laundry on the floor for them

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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To live without skin

Tw: Themes of death and bones

I know i’m an odd creature

But that doesn’t stop it

That doesn’t stop the appeal

To live without skin

Why would it be so attractive

The bones of the earth and life

Wouldn’t it be peacefully horrid

to live without skin

The bothersome feeling of itch

to tight and to loose and to odd

Like a dress made for someone else

To live without skin

Like a bird falling from the sky

It’s bones rotting into trees

To be skinned and slain

To live without skin

So lay my bones to rest

I just want the beauty of life

I want the peace that is death

To live without skin

To be free of the itching scabs

And free of the wrinkles on the knee

Of the pain that comes with burns

To live without skin

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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I JUST GOT A ZOSAN IDEA IT'S CORNY AND SHITTY AS FUCK BUT HEAR ME OUT !!!!

It would go something like :

It was a sunny day, so Sanji was wearing shorts and his knees were exposed.

Chopper- "Sanji you really should be more carfull when you wash your kitchen, those bruises on you're knees could really handicap you in your fighting style or even in the kitchen you know."

(as someone who wanted to work as a cook yes cleaning the kitchen on your knees can hurt a lot)

Sanji- "What do you mean, i didn't wash the kitchen, i only do it once a week ?"

C-"But your knees weren't purple yesterday didn't you do it while everyone was asleep ???"

S- "It's true that i stayed up late for the dishes but..."

And then Zoro interrupt Sanji and say something that go like : "Don't worry about that Chopper, i'm just too strong for him he couldn't help but end up on his knees. Isn't that correct curly cook ?"

Sanji with his face straight up red start yelling at Zoro calling him names before Zoro teases him one last time saying something like : "Keep yapping, next time i'll make you end up on all fours..."

And there is just Chopper confused thinking they're talking about fighting, while Robin is laughing in the background, and of course Sanji who doesn't even know what to say anymore.

It's really messy and not that good (AT ALL), but that's just the main idea do whatever you want with it, it's free to use, ty for reading all of that !!!

#zosan #one piece zosan #op zosan #this is really bad i'm sorry about it #take this idea if you want to #one piece #fanfic #for fanfic purposes #i guess there is a lot of tags already

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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The flowers aren't blooming anymore.

The flowers aren't blooming anymore

In fact it's like they can't grow at all

More precisely they start to, but imediatly die

And i'm trying to water them, i'm trying my best to keep them alive

But the more i try the quicker they die

The petals are falling as well as my world is crumbling

I wish, more than anything that i could keep spending time with my flowers

Especially the last one, it was one of the prettiest

But i can't get anything i want, and everything come to an end sooner or later

It's unfair

I did nothing

Nothing to deserve this

Nothing, nothing, nothing,nothing, nothing nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing,

Or maybe i did, maybe i'm a poison that kill the flowers ?

Maybe i need to be erased, maybe it'll cure those beautiful beings ?

But it means to never see them again, or at least from a far, very far land

And beyond all of that it mean that i can't ever have any kind of flower again

And i know what i'm supposed to do, ending it all and letting everything become normal again without me

I don't matter that much anyway, it hurt, but im the one being hurt

And if my pain is the cost to cure theirs, then maybe i'm finally ready to accept it.

Bloom pretty flower, i'll soon be gone and at this very moment i wish you to be the most outsanding of them all, in your own way.

#poems on tumblr #poetry #flowers #poem #idk how to tag this #what even is a tag #grow for as long as you can

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an-eldritch-being · 2 months

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TUMBLR IS DO MUCH FUN TO USE I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE MY NEW STORY FOR YALL HERE !!!!

#its going to be some Lovecraft horrors type of shit yall aint ready i swear

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an-eldritch-being · 5 months

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Something I wish a lot of people understood is that just because I mention wanting to do something completely doable doesn't mean it's going to happen. Not to speak for us all, but I've got ADHD. I'm almost entirely made up of "I'm gonna"s and "we should"s and "it would be so fun to"s and "one day"s and almost all of it means absolutely nothing.

Wanna know why?

Because when your to-do queue is 700 items deep and you add five new things to it each day, according to priority, almost all of it is never going to happen, even if you would really like it to. There's just not enough time in the world.

So!! If you're friends or lovers with someone like me and you keep wondering if that thing they said is ever going to happen, please ask them.

Because, personally, there is a good chance that if I suggested something would be fun to do with a friend and then didn't follow up on it within the week, I didn't know you were actually that interested, and/or completely forgot about it, and/or it got swallowed by the higher priority to-do items in the queue. If you ask me about it and say you really wanted to do that, your personal investment is going to make that item jump the queue by like 95%

Sincerely, a guy with so much ADHD

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an-eldritch-being · 5 months

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THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE CAN WRITE HERE AND I MISSED IT FOR SO LONG ???

I Guess We All Float.

If you wanted to, you would. Wouldn’t you?

Right?

Am I that far gone?

Maybe I would rather say your name until I’m gasping for air and my lungs turn black from the unrequited love that spreads throughout my airways making it so very hard to breathe.

Maybe I’d rather drown in your arms, sinking deeper and deeper, slowly losing conscious thought while I sink my teeth into your neck feeling your knees start to weaken.

Maybe id love to hear about your day and listen to you whole heartedly laugh about the most mundane things I’ve ever heard, and you can hear me smile on the phone, because to me, they’re also the sweetest words ever spoken in the human language.

Maybe I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

Maybe I don’t want to.

Maybe I wish I could forget you.

Maybe it’s too painful to feel so loved by the smallest bits of you.

I will not stay floating in the abyss of lost causes.

If you wanted to give me all of you, you would have.

Wouldn’t you?

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