What you just posted means a lot actually i was just told i need to take a semester or a year break and it's been hard to accept

Thank you so much, I'm glad it meant a lot :) I hope your time off lets you get in touch with your body and gives it the rest it needs ❤️

Lately my chronic pain has been,,,bad. I'm finding I can do a lot less and rely on my partner much more. But I'll learn more ways to manage it - I'll be getting a wheelchair sometime soon! Anyway, all the love!

If someone wanted to make a remake of wizard of oz or willy wonka or snow white and the seven dwarves, what would you say would be the best way to fix the stereotypical depictions of magical or inhuman little people? Would it be to just make them Not little people anymore, make them another creature, or to make them like, people with dwarfism? I've heard some ppl bring up the idea of having dwarves in snow white be actual in-world little people as opposed to a mythical race of 'dwarves', but it seems that would carry its own problematic connotations to extend that to what is clearly a race (munchkins) or a pseudo enslaved/servant populace (oompa loompas) would it be better to just remove these characters entirely or have their roles reprised by non-little people? On the one hand, it seems that many of them do not need to be little people, but on the other hand it seems a shame to remove roles for little people.

(i kind of feel oompa loompas are a bit hard to make work at all given they are explicitely black slaves in the original and clearly carry a sort of enslaved populace connotation in most adaptations, but I'm legitimately curious about munchkins, whose size doesn't seem to matter very much in most stories.)

Hello! My answer is to simply stop retelling these stories. The very fact that we hold onto them so dearly when they're as harmful as they are is a huge problem. We need new stories! Depicting real, complex dwarfism. We need a wide range of disabled characters and better representation for little people - and Snow White is not going to be who saves us. Fixing these stores will not undo the harm they've done. We need to leave them behind and write better pieces.

And we as consumers have done that with so many other pieces of media. We've discovered that they're harmful to a certain group, no longer supported it, and moved on. So why not with little people? Why can't folks give us the same respect?

If you can understand that the oompa loompas are problematic because they were based off black slaves, you can also understand that they were problematic because they were dwarf slaves. The two intersect in the films, and they shouldn't be so beloved in my opinion.

And the answer is not to just recreate these stories without us in them - they were built on our backs and that is their legacy. Sweeping it under the rug wouldn't change the decades of harm they've done and the oppression they're a result of.

Just 👏 stop 👏 making 👏 more 👏 of 👏 them

Leave them behind and make better pieces with LP characters!!! Make them complex and loved and diverse and human!!!

🌻 The beginnings of spring in my lil life 🌻

I don't tend to put fandom stuff on here (you can follow my main blog @imjustalittlecreepycrawly for that) but omg i love steven universe and look at this size difference!!! I'm such a how for a small v large character pairinggg

How do you go about getting a date as a little person? What safety measures do you take if any when meeting new people? How did you handle people who had a fetish for it or those kind of uncomfortable situations? Is it easier to find sex than romance? Obviously feel free to not answer anything you don't wanna. Thanks

Hi there!

For the most part I go about getting dates like most people lol I use dating apps, some things blossom out of friendships, etc. I do however do a lot more vetting than most before meeting people for the first time, or considering someone as a romantic/sexual partner. I ask questions like;

Do they know other disabled people, or am I the only one/their first?

How would they introduce me to a friend or colleague? How comfortable are they with dating me?

What are their opinions on disability and access? Do they think about it day to day? Have some of their opinions/language raised any red flags?

What sort of dwarf content do they consume? Are they fans of austin powers or willy wonka? (yikes)

How do they view my body? Are they afraid to touch me, nervous to ask me questions, etc?

Is their lifestyle mostly active, or do they enjoy activities where I can participate?

There's a lot that I consider when sorting out whether a potential partner is worth my time, just as we all do. But as a disabled person there's an added layer of safety and respect that I need to establish. Luckily in the world of the internet, I can avoid a lot of awkwardness by doing it over text before I even meet a person - I can at least establish a baseline wherein the person isn't outwardly ableist.

But ableism is something that can live in the nooks and crannies of a person - even my closest friends are still unlearning ableism as they go. So I have to find a balance where I allow people the benefit of the doubt, while also upholding my own values and boundaries.

How did you handle people who had a fetish for it or those kind of uncomfortable situations? Is it easier to find sex than romance?

The people who have outwardly expressed a dwarf fetish to me have mostly been men on grindr - I usually do not interact. However, there is a sub-sector of the dwarf kink where it shakes hands with p*dophilia, and those people get reported in every way that I can.

Sex has indeed been easier to find than romance, by it's nature. And my uniqueness tends to draw a lot of attention. But as I've said, I am rather picky about sexual partners and I keep a lot of things in mind to ensure my safety and comfort.

hi elliot! if you're still answering sex-related questions, i have one about large size differences. i have this story where character A is 6"7, and he's in love with character B for a long time. their friendship is pretty strong and respectful, and i didn't intend their heights to be a big deal, but i imagined B feeling a little concerned that he's too tall for her. is that a realistic feeling to have? could it work with the help of appropriate positions /assistance? is there something you suggest to keep in mind? thank you!

Hello!

As you can imagine, I'm fairly familiar with height differences in romantic/sexual settings - though most of my partners have been somewhere around 5'5 (there's a lot of short kings in the trans community lol). The tallest I've been with was 6'4 so that's a solid 2'2 height difference, which can be a lot for some people but we honestly loved the contrast.

Feeling concerned at a height difference is certainly a valid! There's a lot of social pressure to be of similar height to your partner, especially when it comes to gender (in that men should be taller than their female spouce, women should have a small frame, etc.) and a stark difference can of course pose physical issues (not being able to casually reach your partner's face, etc.). I find it's mostly the social pressures that affect things the most, and can even prevent relationships from blossoming. Once those in the partnership work out what's good for them, height is truly no issue.

My current nesting partner (I am poly, nesting partner here means that they are who I am living with) is able bodied and average height. Our height difference has never posed a real challenge in our relationship - my partner has no problem bending down to kiss me, adjust for my limitations, and learn my disabled body. In my experience, the people who deserve you are the people who will accommodate for you.

to your post on sex/sexuality regarding dwarfism, I'm interested to hear any thoughts you might have on using sex toys/accessories? (stuff like vibes, strap ons, bondage gear, ect.)

For more specific questions, if that helps, are there types of sex toys that are absolute no-gos? Are there workarounds/different ways of handling that make them easier to use? Or are there scenarios where it could be beneficial to use an accessory?

Also, hope you have a good day/evening!

Hello!

As both a disabled person and someone who is having trans, often t4t sex, I am definitely pro toys! As a little person I can struggle with getting things like strap ons on and off (though frankly getting my partner to help is very fun), and for things like vibes I like to get long-handled toys for easy reaching. My short arms and legs are usually what I'm accounting for, so anything with a longer handle is great.

My no-gos are honestly less about toys and more about partners that are not willing to get creative and experimental, or help me when I need them. A lot of my limitations can be easily worked around with the help of a willing partner and a change of position. For example, if I'm the one using the strap, I'm not able to do missionary because my arms aren't long enough to support me. So instead, my partner will be on their back on the edge of the bed/couch and I will stand next to it on a platform. Problem solved.

-Elliot (they/them)

as a disabled leatherman i'd love to know more about little people adapting kink lifestyles and fashion! and as an intersex person, i'm also curious about if there's any intersection between your intimate preferences as an intersex person and your intimate preferences as a little person, or if they impact your approach to sex, intimacy, and safety during sex in wholly unique ways from each other? i'm ace and don't engage in intercourse explicitly, so i do a lot of dirty talking when pleasuring a partner (if they're into that) - if you do like dirty talk, are there common phrases or words that you prefer to avoid during sex, like using "little" as an adjective? this goes for both praise and punishment!

i know how frustrating it is for myself and many other disabled intersex people to either be fetishised or repulsing, but when interacting with people who are genuinely attracted to you but aren't experienced in having sex with little people, do you prefer to talk about things extensively beforehand or take things as they come?

thank you for always being so open!! i love talking about how being intersex and disabled affect peoples' experiences; many of us have to get or take pleasure in getting creative, and i'm always thrilled when kink communities harbour rich, diverse, custom experiences. thanks again! ♡♡

i'd love to know more about little people adapting kink lifestyles and fashion! and as an intersex person, i'm also curious about if there's any intersection between your intimate preferences as an intersex person and your intimate preferences as a little person, or if they impact your approach to sex, intimacy, and safety during sex in wholly unique ways from each other?

Hello! I personally am rather kinky, and I find the kink community and it's fashion to be very accessible! I often have to go online for plus sizes and particular interests, but overall I find it very inclusive, apart from the obvious objectification that I face. I've found kink to be a useful tool to reclaim my own body and even process my trauma!

I am actually not intersex, but I do identify as both transgender and nonbinary. I was assigned female at birth, and have undergone top surgery and hormone therapy (testosterone). My gender expression is very fluid, but leans mostly on the femme side. I for sure feel that my gender identity and disability both equally affect the way I approach and enjoy sex! They both affect the sex positions I choose as well as my personal preferences, and as an inter sectional marginalized person, I am definitely more cautious when choosing sexual partners.

2. if you do like dirty talk, are there common phrases or words that you prefer to avoid during sex, like using "little" as an adjective? this goes for both praise and punishment!

With the right partner, I do enjoy dirty talk, and adjectives like "little" really depend on the dynamic and situation. For the most part I'm not a huge fan of "little" or "small" with sexual partners I haven't built a good rapport with, but with some I can find it reclaiming.

3. when interacting with people who are genuinely attracted to you but aren't experienced in having sex with little people, do you prefer to talk about things extensively beforehand or take things as they come?

Great question! I much prefer to discuss things thoroughly beforehand, to set the standard for my boundaries during the sexual encounter. I see not being able to talk about sex or my disability as a red flag, so this is also a good way to wean people out. It's important to me that my sexual partners understand and embrace my disability, know my physical limitations, and can keep communication open all along the way.

These have been great questions! Thank you so much, and take care!

-Elliot (they/them)

◇ Have any questions on sex and sexuality re:dwarfism? ◇

After my last ask I'd love to discuss the topic further! Fire away, ask me anything!

Hello! I hope you're doing well. In a previous answer to an ask, you mentioned how little people are often seen as inherently promiscuous/kinky, or completely taboo when it comes to sex. I was wondering, how should someone go about writing a character with dwarfism in sexual settings/situations?

(Sorry if this question seems weird, I don't think I can find my words very well today. Thank you for your time! )

cw: sex and sexuality

Hello! Yes, as a disabled person, I experience the dichotomy of being both hypersexualized and desexualized by the able bodied community. And as a little person specifically, I know the culture surrounding my body to be incredibly objectifying and othering - that sex with a little person is often seen as taboo. This actively affected the way I entered the sexual world, and put me at risk for harm within it. I've had to be very intentional with the people I choose to have access to my body, and I've had to become self-taught when it comes to how sex works for me. I now have a very vibrant, wonderful sex life, but it's taken a lot of work to get here lol I would love to see some positive sexual dwarf characters in media!

When it comes to writing a little person in sexual situations/settings, you'll want to keep several things in mind to do it well:

Make sure you know your basics re:anatomy - flexibility, reach, positions, etc. are all affected by the physical limitations of dwarfism. For example, I cannot wrap my legs all the way around my partner, nor can I reach his or my bits while lying down.

Give your dwarf characters vibrant, autonomous sex lives. Make them the expers on their own body and make their sexuality as normal of a topic as it is for abled folks.

(In the case of interabled sex) Do not make their sexual partners saints or conquerers. It's not heroic or impressive for an abled person to date or sleep with a little person. The abled partner is not throwing them a bone. Little people are just as beautiful and sexy and as able bodied people, and their partner(s) should know that.

Adding complexity to your little characters will inherently help prevent objectification, tokemism, or desexualization. Showing that your dwarf characters have rich lives that intersect naturally with other characters will humanize them and embrase their bodies.

I hope this helps!! I don't often talk about sex on here so I found this ask refreshing! If you have more questions on the topic let me know!

- Elliot (they/them)

🖤 I'm just in love yall 🖤 they/them and he/they

I have a question that may not sense if you are not familiar with furry and animal fiction. Hopefully, it will make sense even if you are not.

In fiction, do you think there are parallels between human characters with dwarfism and animal characters that are runts?

If so, do you think it applies only to fully furry characters or do you think it would also apply to animals who are physically animals but think like humans do?

Hello!

Yes, I am familiar with furry and animal fiction (I have been on tumblr for over a decade after all lol). Though dwarfism would be similar to an animal having a runt, it's still a specific condition in the animal world (see images for examples).

So the rules of animal dwarfism (anatomy, conditions, etc.) could certainly be translated into the furry world, including humanoids. I would personally find a middle line between human dwarfism traits and those of animals when it comes to design.

Hope this helps! - Elliot (they/them)

Your beard looks nice! It’s very neat and laid back, it looks like the kind of beard your face should have! I’m hitting the other anon with a stick.

Thank you so much!! Truly, some people are wack. What a way to spend your time - it says everything about them and nothing about me.

Hi I'm also trans but only recently started testosterone and your facial is honestly goals. I want to look like you

Thank you so much! Yee facial hair was a Big goal of mine on T, I feel so blessed

I love your beard, it's very handsome! I've been on T for a few years and mine has only just started to really come in, I hope it gets as full as yours some day ❤️

Aww thank you ^^