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yuonsan · 3 years

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「blossoms in your casket」

花びらを覆う血

．。heavy themes, explicit language, blood, gore, body horror, unrequited love, platonic love, implied death, oc death, game mechanics, non-canon。．

．。架空の病気。．

Hurting inside, sequestering away from the rest of the world

A touch and you unravel like silk ribbons

Nearly unconscious, breathing in septic air, exhaling petals

A bouquet of snow flowers in your lungs, tainted with your blood

Hurting like the world has collapsed on you, coughing out sanity

Alone when you’re with everyone, a cloud of friends and strangers

Kept for yourself, the burden that is dragging you downwards

Is death better than life without feeling, meaning?

．。つぼみで私を殺す。．

The flowers, that grew in their lungs were asphyxiating, intoxicating and above all excruciating. Their chest heaved agonizingly with every breath that left their lungs, squeezing their ribs with enough force to bend them backwards. Blood, red as wine, would emerge from their mouth and drip down their chin, staining their clothes in the process.

At first, only a few petals would surface, though as time meaninglessly passed for the immortal twin, the seeds that borrowed in their lungs grew within time too. Soon enough, fully bloomed flowers accompanied with their stems, would leave their lungs, each one more painful than the other. Although, as unfortunate as they were, they never seized to be bewitching.

Although that was before, an unknown god had decided to take their wrath upon the twins and swore to eradicate mankind, stripping them of their powers and separating them from eachother. And so, the sickly twin of the duo was casted into a deep slumber where the sea salt waves and golden sand acted as their company, with the indigo sky as their blanket for the decades that were to come.

。．{☆}．。

And even if the lonely twin was deeply slumbering for decades, their dreams were nothing but filled with agony and terror. The unknown deity, would still plague the golden haired child until their face was imprinted on the child’s mind. Never leaving them, always haunting them till it was time they woke up.

。．{☆}．。

Upon waking up, the flowers & petals, the sickly being awaited for did not resurface. Not for a while, as they were in a daze and their memories all fuzzy and foggy. Faceless faces, only waited them in their dreams with no data or recollection of them, for a while, that is. They were bound to remember, it was both a curse and gift, while everyone around them forgot with time, they along with their kin, could recall the events that had been buried underneath soil and stone, as if it happened mere minutes ago.

。．{☆}．。

As weeks passed, the memories, returned too. It was sudden, unexpected and painful. As more memories seeped into their brain, the intense pain amplified by tenfold. At the end, they were left on the ground, as their knees dug into the ground while their hands clutched their head, in a fruitless attempt to ease the pain. Their mind was left hazy and disoriented.

Before the traveler could catch their breath, sickening coughs replaced their breaths. They were wet, as if they were drowning and were desperately trying to rise to the surface. Alas, ichor started to flow from their pleura, discoloring the golden sand to scarlet. Immense dosses of blood were emitted from the young child, sizeable enough to be fatal for mortal beings.

Plasma was not the only thing discarded into sand, within the blood were flowers. However, they weren’t efflorescence nor well-formed. Instead, in their place were shriveled up and pale buds.

Once they were magnificent blossoms, yet now they were decayed & colourless. Though the golden eyed child, deemed that that it graced them quite well, and were a representation of their circumstances. Unsightly, they looked to some, though not the otherworldly being, who decided to take one of the decaying florets that where coated with scarlet blood, and twirl it in their hand, unbothered if the vital substance blemished their already gory attire.

Their aureate oculus, were obscured with melancholia and yearning, as they observed the shoreline.

。．{☆}・。

Two twins with faraway clothing & features foreign, were strolling through a meadow full of carnations, both the children and the flowers looked as delightful as ever. Untouched by the cruelty of life, as they took leisure in this pasture. The heavens were a seraphic saxe, while the sound of giggling could be heard in the paddock. Although it sounded young, airy and carefree— another sound of laughter joined in, it belonged to an adult because of the hoarse but soft tune. The twitters, shrieks as well as chuckles only escalated.

Merriment graced the estate, a blissful atmosphere suited for this faultless grassland, which no ephemeral being could even try to enter.

Only benevolent hands, and tender touches were used, to handle the saint-like twins. Not even a flicker of roughness were inflicted upon them. The grown-up looked at them with optics full of warmth, goodwill and care. Not a hint of malice hiding in the corners of those kindliness orbs. Such consecrated beings, without the blessing of a perpetual existence were bound to meet their demise. Impermanent beings were imprisoned by the law of time.

。．{☆}・。

The flowerets that grew in their lungs, are now like them. Sickly, decaying & ruined even more with every decade that passes. However to them, they will always remain delightful, for they were their favorite flowers, so many centuries ago. They always favored carnations above all other flowers for their meanings. So, the time traveling being wonders if they would like, the carnations they cough up from their lungs too.

。．{☆}・。

Carnation Story and Origins

Carnations are also called pinks because of their spiky petals that look like they were cut with pinking shears. There are several theories about how the carnation got its name. Some believe that it comes from the word coronation because it was used in Greek ceremonial crowns. Others think that it originated from the Latin word carnis, meaning flesh, because early carnations were typically pink.

Carnations scientific name is Dianthus caryophyllus. Some believe the name Dianthus originated from the myth of Diana. There are a few variations of this story. In one variation Diana, goddess of the hunt, was returning from an unsuccessful hunting trip. She stumbled upon a shepherd playing a flute and blamed his music for spoiling her hunting.

In a fit of rage she attacked him and plucked out his eyes. Once she cooled down, she regretted her actions. Where the eyes fell, red carnations grew as signs of innocent blood.

Others believe that Dianthus was named after Zeus, as Zeus in Greek is dios and flower is anthos. Carnations are also referred to as the flower of the gods.

Carnation Meaning

The carnation means fascination, distinction, and love.

According to a Christian legend, carnations grew from the Virgin Mary’s tears as she watched Jesus carry the cross. This is how they became associated with motherly love.

In the Netherlands, white carnations are worn to remember veterans and the country’s resistance to World War II.

In France, purple carnations are the traditional funeral flower.

In some countries, red carnations are worn on May Day to symbolize socialism and the labor movement.

Carnation Symbolism & Colors

Carnations grow in a wide variety of colors including pink, white, red, yellow, and scarlet. They are popular flowers for dying, so if you can’t find a natural color you like you can create it! Each color has a different meaning:

White carnations symbolize purity and luck.

Light red carnations symbolize admiration.

Dark red carnations symbolize love and affection.

Pink carnations symbolize gratitude.

Yellow carnations symbolize disappointment or rejection.

Purple carnations symbolize capriciousness.

Carnation Cultural Significance

Carnations have inspired many artists, poets, and authors. British composer Joseph Mazzinghi wrote a song entitled “Ye Shepherds Tell Me”, which told of a beautiful girl wearing a wreath of flowers.

A wreath around her head,

Around her head she wore,

Carnation, lily, lily, rose,

And in her hand a crook she bore,

And sweets her breath compose.

Esteemed artist John Singer Sargent was influenced by this song, and created a painting entitled Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose, which depicts two girls playing with lanterns in the garden.

Carnation Facts

The scarlet carnation was adopted by the state of Ohio in 1904 to honor the late President William McKinley

The first carnations in the US were shipped from France to Long Island in 1852.

Carnations are the January birth flower.

Carnations are given on 1st anniversaries as a sign of love and commitment.

They’re the second most popular cut flower after roses.

Carnations are the national flower of Spain and Slovenia.

Carnation Uses

Carnations have a history of being brewed into tea to help reduce stress and restore energy. Carnation tea has also been used to reduce fever and treat stomach aches. In addition to tea, carnation oil is used in beauty products to moisturize skin, minimize wrinkles, and treat skin conditions.

。．{☆}・。

lmao finally finished something, sorry for being gone for so long, btw this is not canon and set back before the traveler met paimon, so this is literally them reminiscing about their disease— hanahaki disease— and about the unknown adult— and did i use a lot of fancy words no one will understand? yes i did lol — p.s the traveler can be seen as both lumine and aether

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yuonsan · 3 years

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「the stars shined brighter, the day you were liberated」

．。Warnings; spoilers, canonical character death, character death, violence, nightmares, eating disorders, scars, grieving。．

{Beast Light Novel Headcanons}

-After Atsushi was left under Mori’s care in his old orphanage by Dazai, he has slowly gotten better and come to peace with his mentors death.

-Atsushi and Mori have a great relationship, truly a father-son duo. Elize is like Atsushi’s mother figure, and he loves her very much as well.

-The children at the orphanage adore Atsushi and call him big brother all the time and ask him to play with them 24/7.

-Atsushi still has the scar on his neck from the collar when he was still in the Port Mafia. He covers it with a hand-made scarf given to him by Elize.

-Atsushi still doesn’t want to really live, and if you were to ask him what he would do in the future, he wouldn’t be able to respond because he just can’t see himself having a future at all. Hell, he doesn’t know if he’ll wake up tomorrow, yet he makes an effort to try. He now thinks, that he can understand at least a fraction of what Dazai was going through when he was alive.

-Atsushi finds himself thinking about the Headmaster late at night, however he isn’t afraid of him anymore. The only feelings he can associate with him is emptiness and melancholy. Whenever he sees the figure of the Headmaster staring at him while he is doing something, he pays no mind to it.

-Beast!Atsushi doesn’t have the shine in his eyes like OG!Atsushi has, they are often seen empty and devoid of any light. Yet his heart beats with compassion and love for the orphanage, he once despised.

-Mori does view Atsushi as a son, and hopes one day Atsushi will be able to live peacefully, in the light with him, Elise and the kids.

-The first few months Atsushi was under Mori’s case, he considered killing himself in various ways. He also had nightmares of seeing Dazai fall of the bridge, sometimes he still does.

-Atsushi hopes that one day, he will be able to redeem himself for all the lives he took, under the name ‘The White Reaper’.

-Mori doesn’t regret leaving the port mafia and enjoys his days at the orphanage, Elise agrees with him.

-Atsushi is considered dead in Yokahama, because of his sudden disappearance and not being found even after the government got involved.

-Elise, sometimes thinks about the olden days when Mori was the Boss of the Port Mafia and doesn’t regret leaving the busy Yokahama in favor of enjoying her days here, alongside ‘Rintarou’ and Atsushi.

-Atsushi has an eating disorder, however Elise makes sure he eats very well, going as far as to forcing food in his mouth when things get out of control. Mori sometimes joins Elise, by gently chiding Atsushi about his health, and taking care of himself.

-Mori definelty uses his “I’m a Doctor” card on Atsushi when the young teen doesn’t take care of himself.

-In the future when Atsushi is deemed able to live properly again without any fear of him not taking care of himself, he still lives in the orphanage with Mori and Elise along with the children.

-If Atsushi ever visits Dazai’s grave, the flowers (I think) he’ll give him are: Asters/Callistephus for afterthought & daintiness, Pink Camillas ‘Longing for you’, Red Carnations ‘My heart aches for you’ & admiration, Daffodils for unrequited love & regard, Daisies for loyal love & “I’ll never tell” & gentleness, Forget-Me-Not’s for faithfull love & undying love & memories & remembrance, Yellow Zinnia in daily remembrance, Paper Daisy for eternity & immortality, Poppy for eternal sleep, Cyclamen for registration & goodbyes, Pansy/Viola for thoughtful reflection, Deep Pink Roses “thank you”, Long Stemmed Rose “I’ll always remember you, Single Full Bloom Rose “I love you, I still love you”, Stock/Mathiolla for bonds of affection, Sweat Pea/Lathyrus for goodbye & “Thank you for a lovely time” & departure, Yellow Tulip for hopeless love, Yarrows for healing, Magenta Zinnia for lasting affection and Mixed Zinnia for thinking & in memory of an absent friend.

-Akutagawa while hurt that his sister refuses to see him, hopes that one day they can reunite, though he understands her reasons.

-Odasaku felt a twinge of sadness when hearing about Dazai’s death, yet he still is unsere why he does.

oof i got sidetracked, and lost myself with the flowers one lol. Sorry i really like flower language and their hidden meanings :/

#beast au #bsd beast #beast light novel #beast atsushi #beast dazai #oda sakunosuke #bsd headcanons #bsd imagines #bsd atsushi #bsd dazai #bsd spoilers #sad thoughts #flower meanings #flower language

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yuonsan · 3 years

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「I’ll look over you, even after i’m gone」

．。Warnings; platonic relationships, vulgar language, mentions of suicide, violence。．

-Atsushi sometimes goes to visit the headmaster’s grave, yet no words are exchanged.

-While Kunikida spoils Kyouka and Kenji publicly, privately Atsushi is his favorite.

-Whenever Atsushi shows physical affection to anyone, he tends to give into his instincts and show affection exactly like how a cat would. The Agency finds it adorable and have totally taken pictures of such moments, unknown to their weretiger co-worker.

-Atsushi views the veterans of the Agency as parental figures, while the younger ones like siblings.

-When Dazai first came to the Agency, his suicidal attempts were more frequent and a lot more deadly, however as the years continued they gradually became less and more of a joke. This was more present after Atsushi came.

-The person who can get Dazai to open up the most was Odasaku, even if it wasn’t as much. After that it was Atsushi, who reminded Dazai of Odasaku and overall had an aura of familiarity. He makes an effort to open up more with Atsushi, thinking that one day he will die too.

-Even if Atsushi let Kyouka sleep in his room while he sleeps in the closet, more often than not it ends up with the both of them cuddled up in Atsushi’s futon.

-Ranpo displays affection by draping himself over someone and taking to them for hours about anything and everything. Other times he will sit on someone’s lap and let them cuddle his adorably short form. The main targets are about everyone working in the Agency, even the President and Dazai, no one is safe. (They all love it.)

-Atsushi tends to be the one to comfort Ranpo when he thinks he doesn’t belong in the Agency just because he doesn’t have an ability. It’s a rare moment of vulnerability, that often ends up with the older one (Ranpo) draped over the younger one’s (Atsushi) chest.

-Poe visits the Agency often and sometimes helps with cases. His main partners are Kenji, Ranpo and Atsushi.

-After Atsushi learnt to control his ability, he became a therapy cat or tiger in this case— for the Agency. Whenever someone is feeling upset, they come and cuddle him and even if they aren’t upset— they still cuddle him.

-After Atsushi learned more about the outside world, he was so cruelly denied, he wanted to become more cultured. He took up sign language, and it has been proven useful since they do have customers who are deaf, are unable to speak for whatever reason or just choose not to speak.

-When Atsushi and Dazai are partnered up, Atsushi must always have Dazai within his line of sight whenever he gets ahead of himself to stop him from doing anything too brash or dangerous. This happened after Dazai almost killed himself (accidentally) while on a mission with him. The brunette was impaled with a knife by the enemy. Thankfully Atsushi was able to get help and after that he doesn’t let Dazai get carried away with the missions they are assigned, this has been proven to be a good idea. (While Dazai might look exasperated by this, he is secretly grateful and Atsushi knows it.)

-One time Atsushi and Naomi had wanted to hang out together and were ambushed by a gang, Atsushi had protected Naomi by acting like a shield for her. It ended with him getting shot in the back, however he healed quickly afterwards, knowing Naomi wouldn’t have been so lucky if she were in his shoes since they weren’t that close to the Agency and the wounds were fatal for someone without a healing ability. Both siblings are very grateful, and try to express their gratitude through actions as well as words.

-Naomi, when not playing the damsel in distress, is a badass woman who won’t tolerate any shit, knows how to fight and will protect someone when they are in need of help. Her language sadly isn’t very fit for the ears of fourteen year olds.

-If someone is having a bad hair day, Atsushi will sit them down and comb through their hair, no matter how long it takes to make their hair look at least decent.

-Fukuzawa has taken atleast a dozen pictures of Atsushi while in tiger form, and a dozen more of him smiling. To be honest his storage is filled with pictures of cats, Tiger Atsushi, and anyone from the Agency smiling or being happy.

-Atsushi hopes that in the future the Agency and Port Mafia will be able to fight alongside together, without having any strings attached.

-Yosano loves to take Atsushi and Kyouka shopping, dressing them in different outfits and overall having fun. Both Atsushi and Kyouka love her too much to say anything besides it’s nice that she is enjoying herself and she does have good fashion taste.

-The flowers Atsushi gives to the Headmaster’s gravestone are; Forget-Me-Not’s for remembrance and Hydrangea’s for understanding.

-Atsushi knows that Odasaku was a good person who meant a lot to Dazai. He wonders if they would have gotten along and would have liked to meet him along with his children.

lol i tried to make them as happy as possible but my brain is only thinking ‘bout angst right now. I might make a beast version too ig.

#atsushi nakajima #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #kyouka izumi #kenji miyazawa #yosano akiko #ranpo edogawa #fukuzawa yukichi #naomi tanizaki #tanizaki junichirou #edgar allan poe #oda sakunosuke #bsd headcanons #bsd imagines #bungou stray dogs #fluff #violence #swearing warning

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yuonsan · 3 years

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「the canvas painted with sunsets」

．。Warnings; explicit language, adult themes, drugs, alcohol, nightmares, abuse, rape, ptsd, self harm, suicide, suicide attempts, suicide related jokes, transphobia, abandonment issues, spoilers(?), platonic relationships。．

-The only one Dazai trusts, to help him after he self harms or with an injury after a failed suicide attempt is Atsushi, because one day after Dazai had continuously skipped work, Atsushi was instructed by Kunikida to check up on and stumbled upon a bloody Dazai in his bathroom.

-Ranpo doesn’t give any sort of physical affection, to anyone he doesn’t trust(or anyone outside the Agency). He only initiates physical attention to those in the Agency despite it being very rare.

-Ranpo couldn’t give two flying fucks for anyone outside the agency, really.

-Kenji is transgender, and before joining the Agency had came out to his parents. Despite them not physically harming him, they did purposely use the wrong pronouns when addressing him. The only people who respected the fact he was was transgender were his siblings.

-Atsushi, Fukuzawa as well as Ranpo are the only ones who know that Kenji is transgender.

-Atsushi was raped and sexually harassed by one of the staff workers in the orphanage from the age of eight till he was fifteen. Not even the Orphanage Headmaster was aware of this, however after Atsushi turned sixteen, the worker transferred to a different orphanage from the fear of someone finding out about what he did.

-Sometimes, Atsushi has very dark thoughts concerning suicide, and especially after Atsushi escaped, he had thought of committing suicide.

-Tanizaki and Naomi’s parents were alcoholics & drug dealers who often neglected or emotionally abused them. Tanizaki tried to shield Naomi from this, and usually was the one who suffered the most from backlash. They escaped after turning sixteen and after that lived in a spacious apartment from the money provided by the agency.

-Kunikida has the most normal childhood out of everyone. However his ideals routed from way back when he was a child and was first exposed to the cruel side of the world, since his parents weren’t always there to shield him from everything.

-Yosano doesn’t use her ability on Atsushi if the Tiger isn’t able to heal everything as fast, except if it’s fatal, because the first time she tried to use it, he didn’t even react, choosing to mentally numb himself in order to protect himself.

-After Kunikida noticed that Atsushi would flinch whenever he shouted, or slammed his hand on something, he actively tried to minimize doing such things in front of Atsushi.

-Kyōka sometimes has nightmares about the murder of her parents or her victims.

-Atsushi has abandonment issues, and often fears that when his usefulness will come to an end, he will be casted aside by the Agency and forgotten.

-Ranpo isn’t afraid to use torture methods or any other methods wether they are emotional, mental or physical if the situation calls for it.

-On bad days, Yosano won’t be able to hold anything other than a cup because her hands will shake too much for her to hold anything heavier, this happens rarely after Yosano has flashbacks from her time in war.

-Kenji isn’t as oblivious as he seems, when it comes to cruelty. In his time with the Agency he was been exposed to violence as well as murder.

-Atsushi has the highest pain tolerance, and still continues to do so.

-Whenever Dazai uses his ability, “No longer Human”, it actually hurts him which is one of the reasons he wears bandages. Other scars are from his time in the Mafia, failed suicide attempts, and even from some cases while being in the Agency.

-Fukuzawa will know when his time will come, if that’s in the battle field or surrounded by loved ones, he will know.

-Perhaps, the only thing keeping Atsushi going is spite and vengeance while other times it is sole purpose of him saving people just so he can reassure himself he deserved to have been saved too. When all the spite is gone leaving him an empty corpse and when he has saved as many people as possible, he will probably let the Headmaster drag him down to the pits of darkness.

-Atsushi has displayed suicidal tendencies, especially when it comes to saving other people since he will disregard his safety from the sake of the person he is helping. Even if that is his enemy.

-Kyōka often times feels very guilty for making Atsushi sleeps in the closet.

-Dazai will probably achieve the perfect suicide at the end of the show, even if it won’t be with another woman. He will be able to rest when the show is over and live up to his name as ‘Dazai Osamu’.

-Atsushi sometimes lays awake at night, wondering if he will see Dazai the next day or if he will be met with a grave instead.

-Kunikida is the most uncomfortable with Dazai’s suicide related jokes.

I might do some happier ones next time but I’m not sure, also keep in mind that this is my opinion ^^

#bsd headcanons #bsd imagines #bsd spoilers #atsushi nakajima #dazai osamu #kyouka izumi #kenji miyazawa #kunikida doppo #ranpo edogawa #yosano akiko #fukuzawa yukichi #tanizaki junichirou #naomi tanizaki #sad thoughts

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