I have a million things to do but instead Iām enjoying a storm while my cat stares at me like Iāve gone crazy.
So all theā dishes, laundry, kitchen, bathroom, litter boxes, unpacking (even though I got home from vacation two weeks ago), drawing, making reels, vacuuming, commissions āwill just have to wait šø
Remember when I spent a million years feeling utterly uncontrollably uncomfortable and disconnected in my body? Yea, donāt miss those.
Then remember how I started hormone replacement therapy? And still felt pretty uncomfortable in my body for a few more years till things settled out? Yea.
Itās a weird time that some of ya might be dealing with right now but havenāt figured out how to express it. It took me awhile to unpack and understand those wrapped up feelings. Your time will come for that understanding.
Before starting HRT no one tells you how uncomfortable youāre still gonna be with your body. With your face. Your skin. Your voice. All your new ass hair.
No one tells you, that even though youāre finally figuring shit out, you still wonāt recognize yourself for a hot minute.
Unless yāall were told in advance, and I just missed the memo.
Itās been a weird five years of learning how to exist in the world when your body is literally changing all the dang time.
Bonus pic of high school Macree just (for me) to remember how much Iāve changed.
Bonus few-months-on-t-disconnected-from-my-body-Macree from 2017.
I figured itās time to actually give yāall an introduction post.
The basics:
My nameās Macree! A lot of people assume I chose the name considering Iām trans, but itās the name Iāve gone by since birth.
Pronouns are he/him.
I started socially transitioning around 7ish years ago.
Iāll be five years on T next month.
I had top surgery 2.5 years ago with Dr. Garramone.
Iāve had many opportunities to be a lecturer and publicly share my journey at educators conferences and various classrooms.
Thatās that on trans stuff.
Personal stuff:
I grew up on a farm in lower Delaware.
Iām the youngest of three kids.
I attended a private mennonite school all 13 years of education. Thatās not really *need* to know, as it has little to do with my current life, but I often post about my experiences/upbringing in a religious community.
I moved to Virginia for college. I have an art degree and consider myself a full time artist (that also has a 40 hour āpart timeā job to help pay the bills š ).
Art is 95% of my life. A lot of my artwork has been in galleries around my area and Iāve started to branch out to galleries farther away. While Iām absolutely a mixed media kind of dude, Iāve gravitated to drawing more over the past year. I draw, a lot, all the time, constantly. I have a whole account dedicated to that, if you want to check it out at @/workingmanstudio (instagram).
Iām obsessed with antiquing, collecting various objects that take up too much space in my tiny apartment, cooking, ABBA, Dolly Parton, Bobās Burgers, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Thatās the basics once you boil it all down, I suppose.
Iāve gotten some messages lately asking for advice and not to be a dick or a jerk, but I am not in a mental headspace to be able to respond or help.
I feel really shitty about it, but Iām justā¦tired lately. Tired of being trans so Iāve been having a hard time being able to answer questions about it.
Iām sorry. Maybe in a couple months Iāll be back to being able to answer questions.
In the mean time, follow my Instagram (@ workmaninprogress). Iām much more up to date with posting there.
Itās really strange to watch your expressions and style change over the years.
We all have phases in life that weād rather not talk about and wish to burn every piece of photographic evidence. Itās comforting knowing this isnāt an experience thatās exclusive to the transgender community, but when youāre trans, that experience is amplified.
Photos of me from middle school, high school, and most of college all feature weird outfits, dumb hats, messy hair, and crazy faces. Youāre hard-pressed to find a photo from that gap of time with a *normal* expression on my face. I HAD to be goofy in every photo. Because I was. So. Uncomfortable. Every second of the day.
Not to say that my current photos are perfect and normal but, hey, at least there are genuine smiles in them a lot more now. The one Iāve posted here is much, much more tame in comparison to all the other ridiculous photos of me.
Thereās a difference between being silly because youāre confident and being silly to cover the fact that youāre painfully unhappy.
I think thatās why my expressions were so dramatic. Maybe I was hoping to fool anyone looking at them into thinking I was happy.
I cracked open my brick of a laptop for the first time in awhile to unearth old photos.
Maybe Iāll get around to sharing more pre-transition pictures paired with some of my personal stories and experiences.
Life is weird. Transitioning is weird. Waking up one day with a totally different face is weird. Watching your style change and grow as you change and grow is weird.
quite a few people interacted with my last post about art so Iāll try it out with some more things I sell.
Thereās an old proverb that goes something like: āif you want more attention, post a photo with your nips outā
Iām going to exploit that a little so yāall see the new stickers I designed.
These come in a pack of four for $10.
Not a lot of my artwork gets posted on this account. Maybe Iāll start posting more of it because itās so integral to my existence. Iām trying to find my identity as an artist that doesnāt revolve around being trans so I try not to mix the two. But! Yāall like stickers, yāall like trans themed things, we all like to see our identities represented so! I do try to make some lgbtqia+ related material every now and then.
If you want to see more, give @workingmanstudio on instagram a follow.
My website is back up, running, with new work posted weekly. Hereās the link to these stickers: https://workingmanstudio.bigcartel.com/product/trans-pride-sticker-pack