weirdly-specific-threats - Tumblr blog

weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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I will fold all your limbs into your torso then bend you in half and tuck you into yourself and put you in a stack with the others.

I fold a lot of pizza boxes at work...

I Feel Threatened

#weirdly specific #weirdly specific threats #pizza #pizza boxes #asks

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weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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There are twelve different garrottes in this room and I can reach all of them from where I’m sitting.

mod's explanation: a garrotte is a string that is used to strangle people, often stealthily, and from behind.

#weirdly specific #weirdly specific threats #strangulation #garrote #this one doesn't require that much explanation but i do wonder what kind of room this is that has . that many garrottes

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weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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Would you like to be the target of a pyromaniac aarocroka who thinks she’s a tiefling?

mod's explanation: This is a Dungeons and Dragons reference. An aarocroka is a large birdlike race, and a tiefling is a race of "infernal descent." I expect your imagination can take it from there.

#weirdly specific #weirdly specific threats #d&d #aarocroka #tiefling #when people don't add their own explanations i (mod) google the thing and write one. sorry to dnd people if this doesn't do you justice lol

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weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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if you steal my bike i will chop off three of your toes. you get to pick which ones

mod: this one is a reference to one of my friend's IRL conversations. don't steal this person's bike folks

#weirdly specific #weirdly specific threats #toes #. i guess #violence #i'm not planning on including many of these without Further Backstory behind them but i need content #and also will not refuse the offerings my friends bring me :)

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weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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I will get my orifice hook, pull your lungs out through your windpipe, spin them into yarn on the drop spindle, and knit socks with them. While they’re still connected to your circulatory and respiratory systems.

mod's explanation: This is (as you can tell) a description of the process of spinning.

#weirdly specific #weirdly specific threats #fiber arts #spinning

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weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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Do you want to be the next defenestration of Prague?

mod's explanation: "three incidents in the history of Bohemia in which people were defenestrated (thrown out of a window)" via the wikipedia article

#weirdly specific #weirdly specific threats #defenestrations of prague #defenestration

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weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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I’m going to peel you apart and reassemble your contents layer by layer like a badly prepared burrito

mod’s explanation: this is inspired by the circulating story of “to the guy who made my burrito: have you ever been to earth??” in which all of the burrito’s contents are arranged in disc-shaped layers, rather than in parallel.

#weirdly specific threats #weirdly specific #niche threats #submission #cw food

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weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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please submit things!! you all have interesting knowledge. you all exist on the modern internet. don't pretend no fascinating threats have crossed your mind at least once.

#weirdly specific threats #in search of submissions #i do not know how to tag this so that people see it .#weirdly specific #niche #inside jokes are good too if they have funny stories attached

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weirdly-specific-threats · 2 years

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pulling out the threads that hold you together so i can use the gaps as a guide to cut you into very rectangular pieces

This is a reference to an 18th century technique for sewing linen, in which a single thread is pulled out of the fabric. This leaves a gap in the weave which the sewer can then cut along in order to end up with a piece of fabric that’s perfectly rectangular and on-grain.

#weirdly specific threats #niche threats #submission #sewing #weirdly specific

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