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usedtobeafreesoul · 9 months
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a pack of cigarettes,
always thought that’s how it would end
an inextinguishable list of regrets,
full of the sins I had condemned
the loneliest nights,
are the ones hardest to conquer,
the ones where a fragile & vanquished knight,
loses all her honour
those nights were my weak link,
my ever-lasting reminder
that love and I could never be in sync,
and I was never going to find her,
for love is an achievement for those who put themselves in the spotlight,
a facade I couldn’t achieve, since I would always be a fight or flight.
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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the tale of two hearts
we ran ran straight into the abyss of reality,
he became my unwanted conquest,
we crashed crashed into the wall of my truth
my lover fell through the cracks,
our time was rented, on the mercy of destiny
therapeutic it was, our analogy
the calculation I had, turned fragile
but for all the pleasure, it was worth to relinquish.
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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life is nothing but a lie,
a sweet meaningless lie that can only last so long,
but for the while that I was enchanted by its haze, I relished it, so much so that now I’m tiptoeing on whether I even want to escape it
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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because in her life, there’s nothing like a good day,
It’s just the few rays of sunshine showing before they all get obscured by the darkness of night
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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It’s always the broken souls that are trying to help others
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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The prettiest smile
hides the deepest secrets.
The prettiest eyes
have cried the most tears.
And the kindest hearts
have felt the most pain.
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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behind closed curtains, she was nothing but a wisp of air, mixing with the warmth of the sun and drifting apart
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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They think I'm free,
I can fly in my own sky,
Afford all my dreams,
But they don't see a steel chain suffocating me.
I am not free, I cannot walk,
I cannot live my life the way I want.
because I'm a woman?
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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Leave. Just do.
For the last time, I want you to go away, fly away just as bees do once the flowers wilt. Go find someone new, because I’m not the belle to your beast nor the bandaid to your wounds. I can’t be your saviour, when I myself am lying in the ditches. I can’t piece you back together, when I don’t know what it feels to be complete. Life isn’t fair to no one, and we were never an exception. Before taking my leave into the dusk of the morning, I leave you with a contradiction of fate. I give to you all my heart, however many pieces there may be left, all of them as a memoir for you to never forget me. I want you to keep my recollection vivid just as your reminiscence about your old record player. Let me fade into the distance like the starry spheres in the sky yet return right back as soon as the melancholy darkness settles.
But for my heart, I beg of you your egress . Stop fighting our fate, don’t plan out happy ending because we won’t have one, go out in the world and live. For I will always be with you but worlds apart.
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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This is the first time, the last time I'm telling you to leave & Trust me you won't regret it
So just, let it be
But you couldn't leave me out on the road
You said, there's an end but I can't see no more
I went back in & realised that I'm not meant to fit in
So let go and maybe I'll see you passing by Let go, and one day we'll be looking eye to eye Let go, cause you deserve someone better than me
Let go, but I'm thankful that you sent me free
From the nightmares that followed me along, You came in my life and now they are gone
You've been by my sides
When i used to cry till midnight!
but this is where we end this road.
~~
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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I stare at my reflection,
As if I can't recognise the person in there.
Her face is full of rejection,
From the people that she cares about.
She looked a little too far,
Just because of flaws, picked up cigars.
Didn't know how to let go,
But they said that's how it goes.
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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So, why oh tear,
Why do you fall
Even after all that resistance,
Why do you not stop?
I don't want you,
you make me weak & fragile
& everything that i never thought could be true
So, why tear,
Why have you made roads
Navigating through my cheeks as if it were your home
Fall all you want,
When the lights are dimmed,
Because when the sea touches the sun,
I'll hide behind the curtain once again,
Although my heart still reeks for him.
~~~
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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Stop asking if I'm okay,
Cause I'll have to lie again.
Faking a smile on my face,
While I'm shattered inside.
The reasons are unknown,
Just like, your intentions.
My head is blowing off,
Cause I can't stop thinking
Yeah, i changed.
Now i feel like crying in my blanket, all night long While my mind is contemplating everything I've done Thinking bout you every second that's passed
Don't know if I should let you in or shut you out.
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usedtobeafreesoul · 1 year
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damn me, i have all that one needs for a good life then why do I live in a constant state of despair, why does this feeling not leave me the fuck alone, why does it chase me when i don't wanna run, why do I become the most ungrateful & crestfallen brat after its done its job.
I am the person, to whom people turn to, to open up their hearts, then why is my own on lockdown.
I am the responsible one, the one who never breaks down or let's people down then why do I feel like a disgrace?
I am in a state of mourn although my life is as blissful as it gets.
I am the problem.
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usedtobeafreesoul · 3 years
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She needed help, but didnt have nobody to go to. She needed them, but they pushed her down further. Now, she's fallen into the dark shadows and cant touch the light again.
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usedtobeafreesoul · 3 years
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That Afternoon Hour
4-5 pm, it commences....Woah, don't worry nothing wonky donkey....just my singing practice. I know many of you might say that are you a mythbeliever or something, 'cause you can practically sing any time,whether its 4 in the morning or 11 at night. Singing is one thing thats there 24/7.
But the reason why I do it only between 4-5 is something peculiar. That's the only time my house is silent. My 3 yr old BABY SISTER just keeps annoying every living organism in our house all day long except for that one hour. That time is what everybody waits for all day,especially me. That precious time.....I even use it to record my YouTube videos,bytheway if you didnt know who I am(which you probably don't) then here it is,
I am a 13yr old Music freak, I love and pursue singing and occasional ukelele playing. Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber and Olivia Rodrigo are the people who inspire me. If you wanna hear more blogs on the Life of A Teen like me then do follow me.
Naysha Kaura signing off!
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usedtobeafreesoul · 3 years
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Overcoming my Fears and Doubts to Follow my Passion!
In March 2020, I discovered my dream(I guess, everyone has it, but mine was out of my wildest dreams)I just wanted to be a Singer and I mean a Pop Professional singer here. Living in India, I hadn't even heard one English song then but this dream just conquered me after I heard the FIRST one ‘Sorry’ by Justin Bieber (who is now my second biggest inspiration, keep reading to find THE FIRST ONE) what's the first step everybody does, yeah I practiced a LOT, my parents and my neighbors were the most troubled people on Earth at that time ’cause though I practiced tons I was really bad (or should I say horrible). All my family mates gave me a negative criticism at all times thinking I would let go but surprisingly I didn't. I hadn't ever been a confident girl, I was usually bullied easily but at that time I felt like my inner soul is telling me that “NAYSHA, YOU WOULDNT LET GO OF YOUR DREAMS” and I didn’t. I didn't let go, which has actually been the best decision I have made in my freaking life.
After 8 months, at last, my birthday came (Woohoo!) and think what did I ask for? Vocal lessons, of course! I took them with all my hard work and then came the time to prove myself, to whom people might ask? MYSELF. Yes, I wanted to prove myself that I am fully absorbed in this avocation. So I started a YouTube channel (Check it out if you want to), but a clear path to walk on is certainly not in my cup of tea I think. I was terrified that my friends will demotivate me and that this wall of confidence that I had created around myself will crash.So I made the stupidest decision ever possible, I didnt claim my channel, nor told anyone bout it.  Literally 4 months and 4 videos later, my mind and heart were debating on the same topic, Wanna know which side they were on? Mind-No Way. HEART- YES WAY, at last my guts kicked in and became the tiebreaker. Conclusion- I put my name in that video and my face in the video after that. More on this later Peace, Naysha
Ps. Just on a thought, I’m putting my favourite sentence (Idk if it’s a quote too) below.....Check and tell if you can find its meaning.
“ne laisse jamais tomber tes rêves”
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