unhingedtiktoks
you just got frumpy bussied
sideblog of @sleep-deprived-lesbian sleepdeprivedlesbian.carrd.co
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Description: Tiktok from user etymologynerd. The caption says "i gave a ted talk about the rizzler song lmfao." It shows a man on a Tedx stage reading in a monotone voice, "Sticking out your gyat for the rizzler. You're so skibidi, you're so fanum tax. I just wanna be your sigma. Freaking come here, give me your ohio."
#dont worry i dont know what any of this means either#maybe when the video comes out we can find out but probably not#tiktok#linguistics#skibidi#rizzler
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Description: Tiktok from user bowieemmett. Four people say "Guess which is Regina George and which is Beatboxing Puppy!!" through laughter.
The first person sings "My name is Regina George..." and tries not to laugh along with the person holding the camera.
Someone in the background yells "Can you cover your mouth??" The second person laughs, composes themself, then sings "My name is Regina Geoooorge." Someone snaps their fingers.
The third person laughs nervously and weakly says "My name is Regina George."
The fourth person walks on all fours and sings the melody of the beatboxing puppy song while trying not to laugh. Everyone breaks down into laughter.
#i feel like this requires too much chronically online knowledge but it also transcends that knowledge#beatboxing puppy#our drawings
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Description: Tiktok from user @jacobgalapagos The caption says "heartstopper if they were hired to assassinate one another." Charlie is wearing a skull mask and holding a fork as a weapon.
Charlie: Um excuse me?
Nick: (lifting spoon) Wot?
Charlie: Nick??
Nick: Charlie is that you under there??
Romantic music from the soundtrack plays as Charlie takes the mask off.
Charlie: Hi....
Nick: Hi...
Charlie: I... I think I'm supposed to be assassinating you...
Nick: No way! I think I'm supposed to be assassinating you!
Charlie: Why are we like this?
They both sigh fondly.
Nick: Well... we should probably get on with it...
Charlie: Oh right! Sure. (stabs him with fork)
Nick: Oh my god, ow!
Charlie: Oh! I'm sorry!
Nick: (in pain) No, that's alright. No apologizing, remember?
Charlie: (chuckles) Right sorry.
Nick: No apolo- (groans in pain)
Charlie: Oh. Oh shit. Hm.
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Description: Tiktok from user corndogwife. She says "I'm a girl in the way a tomato is a fruit. Like yeah. But you don't need to say it..."
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Description: Tiktok from user xenontf. On the right is a cat in a bat costume. The guy on the left says "Aw what a cute cat! It would be crazy if that cat could like do the whip or something but there's no shot, cats can not do the w-" The cat does the whip, making the guy turn into Freddy Fazbear.
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Description: Tiktok from user nostalgia_gal. A stock photo of an old lady giving a thumbs up fades in over a background of a hallway with floral wallpaper. An echoey text to speech voice says "I am so grandma pilled." It shows several pictures with similar aesthetics. "All I want is to consume useless pretty trinkets and collect fancy soap that I will never use."
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Description: Tiktok from user xenontf stitching a conservative. The conservative says "When archaeologists dig up human remains from a thousand years ago, they're always either male or female." The cool guy says "Well at least they didn't dig up... Freddy Fazbear because if they dug up Freddy-Freddy Fivebears, it would- it would be the endoskeleton which I don't know if it's male or female but it's an endoskeleton and-and then he become Freddy Fivebears and he have his friends Chica- Chica the kitchen, Bonnie the- Bunny the bonnie, Foxy the fox pirate rawr and Purple Guy would probably come because he built them but he also killed them because they're actually kids inside of Freddy Fivebears and Purple Guy was evil but he did it because his daughter was like dead or something because this other guy Henry was like "Hi I'm Henry" and- but- but Willem Afton killed Henry daughter so he can- he can have the animatronic juice which is called remnant which you put in Freddy Fivebear because then he becomes alive so he try to put- put robots in his daughter-"
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Description: Tiktok from user emgracedawg. The caption says "someone taught a man therapy terminology." She says "I'm setting a boundary with you that you need to put on makeup. You do not look good right now, okay and that's manipulating me into thinking that you're ugly when I-I can't tell if you are or not. The way that you're looking so not pleasant to look at right now is giving me PTSD lowkey like lowkey I'm getting like war flashbacks because you-you just don't look good right now babe. Like you gotta do something you gotta do something about that. And you're gaslighting me right now because you just don't look the way I want you to and so my gas is fricking lit up, it's so lit it's so lit I'm gonna catch on fire. That's how lit it is."
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Description: Tiktok from user rllrsk8r69. The caption says "POV: my family at my funeral when my temu rose toy decides to give some final words (it knew me best)." A melodic electronic noise plays over a piano and other instrumentals join. He nods and starts tearing up like something very profound is being said.
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Description: Tiktok from user caroline_easom. The caption says "POV: you're babysitting a family vlog kid." There's a whiteboard in the background that says "mcmansion (interior)." She's playing with a whiteboard that says "tablet (electronic)" and wearing a Yoshi hat.
Babysitter: So how's school going?
Kid: (with speech impediment) I'm not allowed to go to school.
Babysitter: Why not?
Kid: I have too many stalkers.
Babysitter: You have stalkers?
Kid: Yeah kinda just comes with the territory of being Lil Sandwich.
Babysitter: Excuse me?
Kid: You didn't know? We're the Sandwich family. I'm Lil Sandwich. You can follow us @ sandwich family across all social media platforms.
Babysitter: So you make videos with your family?
Kid: Yeah all the time every day.
Babysitter: And you have stalkers from that?
Kid: Mmhm. One even came to my school. That's why I'm not allowed to go to school anymore.
Babysitter: How did he know where you went to school??
Kid: It was probably from the tour of my school video. Or maybe from the walk with me to school video. (without speech impediment) Do you mind if I use my regular voice or do I have to keep using my video voice?
#lil sandwich has LORE but i will probably not post the others bc they are too sad#im genuinely so invested in this poor sweet girl#tiktok#comedy#satire#family vlog channel#comedian
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Description: Tiktok from user bocxtop.
Prance: It's a biological instinct!
Margo: What the hell is going on???
Reggie: Well my girlfriend turned into a worm a couple of days ago and this morning Prance turned into a bird and ate her!
Prance: She knew the risks, she-
Reggie: Oh she knew the risks?
Prance: Yes!
Reggie: "Early bird gets the worm" right? You're so dumb!
White guy: I'm sorry, I just did enough ketamine to kill a horse, did you say your girlfriend turned-
Reggie: Into a worm, yes.
Dom: Wait did they not fix the gas leak in this apartment?
Reggie: Oh my god Dom! We're mystical creatures! We shapeshift from time to time!
Prance: Yeah werewolves get all the recognition but there's so many more of us.
Reggie: It's weird, one white lady writes a love triangle about you and then you're too good to come to the conventions.
Prance: "Ooh I'm Jacob I'm white but also racially ambiguous, I have abs and I imprinted on my situationship's daughter" it's-
#i couldnt find the white guys name so his name is white guy now#tiktok#twilight slander#werewolves#werebirds#wereworms#gas leak#ketamine
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Description: Tiktok from user kpifthatscool. The caption says "comments on any funny video of a kid." They angrily say "Okay okay, glad you all think this behavior is cute. A child, a small child, refusing to eat carrots even though his mom cut them up and made them for him! A child disrespecting his parent, that's cute! But wait what are we gonna see when this kid grows up? What does an entitled spoiled disrespectful kid turn into? Hm hm hm! Oh a felon! I wasn't allowed to voice any opinion as a kid, and look at me now!! I'm well adjusted!! Yeah!! You can be sure if that kid was my kid, I'd be putting carrots on his plate every single day until he turned 18 and hated my guts and never spoke to me again! You can be sure that's a promise!"
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Description: Tiktok from user scrumpledmilk. The caption says "pov: my cardboard cutout asks me who he's supposed to be." The part in Mitski's "A Pearl" plays where she says "there's a hole that you fill, you fill, you fill, but it's just that I fell in love with a war." He flips his cardboard cutout to reveal Phil Lester and dramatically lip syncs while the captions says "you're Phil, you're Phil, you're Phil." He leans in and starts making out with the cardboard cutout.
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Description: Tiktok from user "chloe.longname". She says "Something cool that happened to me the other day was I was making out with someone, and while I was making out with them, I accidentally called 911. I don't know what they heard on that call. It was getting... freaky, and by freaky I mean I said 'oops I farted on your penis.' But aside from that uh... I don't know if they heard that, hopefully they didn't hear that. Luckily, he noticed that I called 911 before uh they arrived. They did call me three times. I'm like 'it's just spam!' and he's like 'this seems like it's not spam' and he was correct." The lights go off. "Soft l- launch... my light turned off." The lights go back on. "Anyway now I will obsessively check if I accidentally dialed 911 every single second of every day until I... am no longer here on earth." The lights go back off. "It was one time. I farted one time on his lap... it might have been three times. I farted three times on his lap and the police almost came okay??"
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